Ah, Borderlands... I haven't played it in ages. After a while the game loop (spawn - kill - loot - level up - die - repeat) started to get stale. This was actually first posted on Fimfiction in October 2020.
The Alcatraz was your standard Incognita Developments (a wholly owned subsidiary of Hyperion Corporation) Columbus-class Involuntary Colonisation Vehicle. Which is to say, it was full of CL4P-7RP robots hurtling around, New-U terminals ready for orbital deployment, whatever resources New-U terminals use to reconstitute the recently (and still financially solvent) deceased back into existence, fuel, engines, sufficient weaponry to destroy anyone trying to board without permission, and server space.
After all, there's no reason to waste space keeping about three hundred wastes of space alive during the trip. As long as the convicts had both money in the bank and their patterns in storage, they could live forever. Until at least one was wiped anyway. Nor, for that matter, is there any reason to waste money on a human crew for same. Hence the Alcatraz was more economically staffed by robots, led by KR1-KTJ.
"Space!" captain KR1-KTJ - you could tell by the hat - exclaimed, gesturing dramatically at the view out of the totally unnecessary window, "The final frontier!"
"Cap'n," came an identical voice from an almost identical Claptrap jabbing frantically over a control panel, "The fluctuation in the starboard top engine is gettin' worse! I canna damp it down!"
"Our continuing mission!" KR1 ignored it, "To explore strange new worlds! To send these dregs of society to colonise them and probably get killed in the process! And boldly go - will whoever is in charge of all these alarms and flashing red lights please turn them off? I'm monologuing here!"
"She canna take nae more!" what was probably the engineer yelled, "She's gonna blow!"
And that is exactly what the starboard top engine did, in a puff of brief flame and debris. Inside, the assorted robot crew was tossed about in true sci-fi fashion, with a mighty gonging boom for musical accompaniment.
"What happened?" KR1 demanded.
"The starboard top engine's gone up cap'n! I'm receiving damage reports across the ship! Power failures! Hull breaches! New-U servers still online! Oh wait, that last one's good news. Cargo bays are intact, that's good news too. And weapons are mostly functional. Apart from potentially overstressing our remainin' three engines, an' possibly shakin' the ship apart from uneven thrust distribution, we should be able to complete the mission!"
"Thank you SC0-77Y," KR1 replied, finally locating its hat and placing it back atop itself, "Helm, status?"
"We'll be arriving at our planetary destination in five minutes," U7-U5 responded.
"Five minutes? I'll do ma best cap'n, I think she'll hold together long enough," SC0-77Y said.
It was actually six minutes before the ship slowed, a blue-green planet dominating the view from the bridge.
"Stardate 26 October 2355... point two. Despite a major engine failure we have reached our destination, namely Canayona. Shortly we will commence stage two of the mission: setting up the New-U network on the planet's surface, prior to reconstituting the colonists there. Helm, what. is. it?"
"This isn't the Canayona system sir."
"What do you mean, this isn't the Canayona system!?"
"Well, the fact that the sun is far too small and orbiting around the planet gives that away. The Canayona's sun is a lot bigger and the planet goes around it. Also it's too lush, the briefing said that Canayona's a desert planet."
"Details details! Just start deployment at the first desert you spot! They'll never know the difference!"