"Jay." Kim simply states.
He barely hears her though as he finally gets his first glimpse of Hailey. She looks peaceful, as if she's no more than sleeping, which on some level she is. Her arm and upper shoulder is wrapped, but other than that, the IV, and the oxygen tube in her nose, she looks alright. Paler than he would like her to, but he was expecting much worse. Which he knows doesn't much matter because while externally she may look okay, he knows internally she's battling severe trauma (in more ways than one), or else they wouldn't have had to induce the coma. He wants to rush over to her, grab her hand and never let go, stroke her hair like he used to do when she was upset, and lay his head on her good shoulder. He intends to do just that, but Kim is now standing in his path, and he registers her again.
"How did you find out?" she asks him when he finally meets her eyes again.
"Well, it certainly wasn't from you guys!" Jay tells her snidely.
"Clearly. Look, you came all this way so I'll give you some time with her, and then we can air whatever we have to say to one another. I'll be in the hall." She says as she walks out of the room.
Jay wants to think she has a lot of nerve, but his path to Hailey is now clear and all he wants right now is to be at his wife's bedside. He pulls the chair up even closer and wraps his hand around hers, leaning over and pressing a soft kiss to her forehead, then gently pushing a few strands of her blonde her away from her face. Somehow, even like this, she looks even more beautiful than he remembered. He loved to tease her and tell her she was the most gorgeous woman he'd ever met, because she was, and she would roll her eyes and call him a liar; but she'd always give the smallest smirk also because she knew that even if she didn't believe it, he did. He loved making her feel good, and it was always a bonus when he could make her bashful. He wished he could right now. Instead, he settles for whispering in her ear and hoping some conscious part of her can hear him.
"Hailey, it's me, I'm here babe, I'm home. For good. And I swear to you I'm never leaving you again… so please come back to me, alright? I love you so much!"
He states how much he loves her over and over until finally he leans back a bit and just strokes her hand with his own. He has so much more to say, but he knows Kim is still waiting and if she's still as persistent as he remembers, he knows she won't leave until they talk… and honestly, he would like to know what the hell happened. Not only from the shooting, but he still hasn't been able to shake Will telling him this was Hailey's last week in Intelligence. So he gives his wife one more gentle kiss and heads to the hall to face his former coworker.
Kim's nodding her head at him before he can fully close the door to Hailey's room.
"Down here. There's a small surgical waiting room with no one in it." She says while already walking in the direction leaving him no choice but to follow.
They close the door once they enter and it's just the two of them inside, with a party of emotions permeating through the air. They stare at each other for a minute, apparently both determining who should start when Jay breaks the silence before he just gets angrier thinking of his former team keeping him in the dark.
"She's my wife, Kim, and you guys didn't think to call?!"
"You certainly haven't acted like it!" Kim states just as snippily.
"I know I have a lot to make up to her for. Which I intend to do, but that's between her and I. I know you all probably think I'm selfish, and maybe I was. I know I've been a dick… I'm sorry, sorry for all of it, but she's still the love of my life and I had the right to know immediately!" he says, the emotions rising in him again at the thought of losing Hailey.
Kim's resolve breaks a little, knowing how much Hailey means to him and how horrible it must have been to find out when he was thousands of miles away from her. But she can't and won't let him off the hook that easy.
"We know that. We all know that. Which made this even worse, Jay, because what were we even supposed to say to her this past year!? How could we comfort her? Because we couldn't say: 'he'll find his way back to you, or, he loves you he'd never do that or this' BECAUSE YOU DID! Not only did you essentially walk away from her, Jay, but you barely even bothered to keep in contact. How could we justify to her that you loved her dearly when you couldn't even pick up the phone for her? It left us at a loss then too because how could we even begin to reassure her? It was awful, Jay… watching her feel so thoroughly alone, and not knowing how to help. Coming to Makayla's figure skating tournaments wouldn't ease the loss of her husband, who she spent all her time with and then suddenly he couldn't even be bothered to send her a text. So eventually we stopped too because we saw that a distraction was not what she was looking for, and being around us outside of work just seemed to remind her more that we no longer had you here. It was shitty, Jay! It was all shitty! And there's no excuse for us not reaching out yesterday when it happened, but we figured you'd be outside the wire anyway and we may as well wait until she woke up instead of you freaking out to a voicemail that your abandoned wife who had already sent you divorce papers was in a coma. So I'm sorry too, but you really disappointed all of us, Jay! We know why you had to get away, we all work this job so we get it… we just really wished you handled it better. She needed you. You're the only one she needed…" Kim lets her words drift off softly at that.
Jay takes it all in slowly, he steps back letting his knees hit one of the waiting room chairs and then slumps down in it. A few tears gradually run down his cheeks. He knows he messed up. Knows it from his own head, and even from Hailey's perspective… but hearing it all from one of his old teammates confirming for him how alone Hailey really felt without him, it's dreadful. If he could turn back time and do things differently, he would. But as we know, life does not offer up redo's, so he just has to make good on all the bad he caused.
"I'm sorry." He whispers glumly.
Kim nods and plops down next to him. "I know. I think she does too. But she had to find her way to practice self-preservation."
"Yeah." Jay gives a little sardonic laugh and Kim raises her eye brow at him. "It's just kind of funny you described it that way because that's exactly what I told her I was doing when she got the FBI offer years ago. She told me I could tell her I didn't want her to take it, but I just couldn't believe at the time someone, even Hailey, would choose me over something so great…" Jay smiles sadly and Kim half-smiles back empathetically. They sit like that for a moment, both reflecting on the past. "…Anyway, before I go back to finally wait by my wife's side, can you at least fill in some of the blanks for me on what happened? Will just said she was shot in the shoulder and the blow back was severe enough that she whacked her head. Also, he mentioned something that he heard this was her last week on the job?" he questions.
She nods again. "Yeah, so, it was just a routine questioning on a bigger drug bust. Her and Kev went to a warehouse to question the manager of our suspect and one of the workers got spooked and opened fire. Hailey and Kev started chasing him down through the warehouse and somehow, he got one off on Hailey while they were running up the steel stairs. They didn't have vests on, because like I said, it was just supposed to be routine and we didn't have reason to suspect anyone at that job, so when the bullet hit her Kev said she lost her balance and fell back down the stairs…" she pauses while Jay inhales and closes his eyes, willing that awful image of his wife away. "I'm sure Will filled you in that the induced coma is for her own benefit to help get the swelling reduced. As for it being her last week on the job, I don't really feel that's my place. I think that's for her to tell you when she wakes up. It's nothing bad. I just think you guys have a lot to discuss…"
"Fair enough. Thanks, Kim! Have you or anyone spoken to her doctors? Do they think she'll make a full recovery? Will she be alright?" he asks, his fear and worries creeping back in.
"Yeah. I won't lie, it was a little touch and go yesterday morning when she was brought in. But she's a fighter, Jay. The doctors have her stabilized and have seemed optimistic on her improvement thus far. Unfortunately, they can't really know if there's any lasting effects from the brain injury until she wakes up. But you know her better than anyone, she'll fight through this!"
He gives her a watery grin. "Yeah, I know."
"Come on," Kim stands and raises her head to the exit, "let's get you back into her. I have to go pick up Makayla soon anyway. I think the rest of the team intends to take turns stopping by at all points during the day today too, but I'll tell them to give you some time before they start arriving."
"Thank you!" Jay says as they're now standing back in front of Hailey's room.
"Of course." Kim replies and pulls him in for a quick hug. "I'm glad you're back."
"Me too." He states, fully meaning it.
She pulls away. "But if you hurt her again, I'll put a bullet in you myself!"
"I won't. Thank you, thank all of you guys for being there for her when you could. I know I put everyone in a tough predicament.
She gives a nod again in understanding and starts walking down the hall to the main hospital. Leaving him finally alone again with his wife after nearly a year. He walks to her bedside once more and is taken back seeing her laying there in a hospital bed. It's a sight he's not used to seeing, usually their roles are reversed. Sure, he's seen her conscious getting wounds scrubbed at the hospital here and there before, but not like this. Even after the bomb that Javier Escano set off on them that Hailey got the brunt of, she still had come-to well before getting to the hospital, thankfully. Although that had been an awful and scary time too. When he found her passed out on the concrete he thought that was it then. He shudders at the memory. Luckily she walked away with just a mild concussion and a small contusion on her cheek and near her eye. It was truly a miracle. And now he's hoping for another one.
He repeats almost his exact movements as before when he had his talk with Kim… he softly kisses Hailey's forehead, takes her hand in his own, and leans his head down on her good shoulder close to her chest. He likes hearing her heart still beating and the rise and fall of her still breathing. It grounds him. It instills the faith in him again that she is a fighter like his brother and Kim said.
Hours go by. Nurses come in, he asks for updates, and some of his old team comes and goes like Kim said they would, even his estranged mother-in-law makes an appearance. None of them are in any kind of mood to get into a confrontation about Jay's decisions this past year. He has quick conversations with them all, but for the most part he stays aside while they wish Hailey well and hope for her recovery soon. It all blurs to him because all he cares about is the person laying in the bed. She's the only one he wants to be around and talk with. At some point he falls asleep, awkwardly laying hunched over her hospital bed, still resting his head near her arm, needing to be close to her. It's not until 6:12 the next morning that he wakes up to the sound of his name.
"Jay?..." the voice questions.
Weak, groggy, and confused sounding, but also sure. It's a voice he hasn't heard in person in 300 plus days, but one that haunts his dreams every night.
He opens his eyes to see his wife's baby blues staring back at him, a perplexed expression on her face…
[A/N: Thank you all for continuing on this journey. This chapter, aka the confrontation between Kim and Jay is actually how the idea for this story came to be. While the show didn't do a great job of highlighting the team trying to be around for Hailey, I think the intent was there and I think this was kind of how they all felt about the situation. Wanting to help Hailey, but her being around them, the biggest connects to her husband, was just too hard for her. I doubt we'll ever get any of this onscreen, but I envision it would be similar if it was still that kind of show and they made the time.]