Although Kakashi proposed the idea of cleaning the house, there wasn't much to clean. Kakashi knew this. Hachi waited five minutes for his legs to regain their strength before helping Kakashi bring the dishes back to the sink. Hachi anticipated turning the entire apartment upside down to clean, but soon realized that Kakashi tricked him.
Kakashi's house was everything but messy. Dust barely lined the walls and floors. Not a single hair was out of place. There was nothing to actually clean. Hachi was more than disappointed and a little annoyed at Kakashi's small scheme.
"There's nothing to do." Hachi said, twitching an eyebrow up while folding his arms.
Kakashi hummed slightly, "Whatever do you mean? I need to reorganize these books and dust, sweep, and mop the entire apartment. Can't you see how messy these things are getting?" Kakashi nodded towards a small stack of Icha Icha Paradise books and took out a duster. Hachi looked at Kakashi in disbelief. That was not what Hachi signed up for. He did not want to look or touch the perverted books that Kakashi always reads and do minimal work.
"You can reorganize those stupid books of yours by yourself." Hachi tried to level his voice to not let Kakashi know that he was pissed. Kakashi smirked under his mask at his little ploy. It was nice to see Hachi getting riled up at the little things and not push it down like he did before.
Hachi snatched the duster out of Kakashi's hands and started getting to work. He started dusting a small corner of the apartment and made his way around the house. Kakashi watched Hachi work, making sure that Hachi was doing everything correctly before setting off to his collection of books. Once Hachi realized that Kakashi was occupied, he couldn't help but let a shudder run down his spine.
A part of it was because Kakashi seemed a little too interested in his perverted books but also because he realized that silence does not bode well for him. Silence would lead him back to Raido and his genjutsu. It also did not help that pain from yesterday's training was eating away at his body the more the silence prolonged.
Hachi bit his lips in frustration. First, he couldn't sleep because of Raido, now he can't even bear silence. His weaknesses seemed to pile on top of each other and as more and more come to light, the more vulnerable Hachi feels.
Noticing that Hachi's movements slowed down, Kakashi lowered his books onto his lap and looked over at Hachi with a raised eyebrow.
"Something wrong?" Kakashi inquired, startling Hachi. Hachi immediately fixed his slouching posture and threw on a small fake smile.
"Why would there be anything wrong?" Hachi deflected which didn't go unnoticed by Kakashi. He narrowed his eyes at the boy in front of him. Hachi's hand trembled ever so slightly. The normal eye wouldn't have been able to pick up such movement, but Kakashi was a former ANBU; he was trained to see even the slightest detail in a person. He was also someone who went through trauma like Hachi. It didn't take much for him to notice something was wrong with the child that was averting his gaze whenever Kakashi was trying to make eye contact.
"You're trembling…" Kakashi drawled out, looking pointedly at Hachi's hand that carried the duster. The small feathers that made up the duster seemed to vibrate ever so slightly, giving away Hachi's concealed movements.
Like a child that was caught with their hand in the cookie jar, Hachi snatched his hand behind his back.
"I'm fine, that's just because of yesterday's training." Hachi said nervously, knowing full well that Kakashi wouldn't buy it. He just hoped that Kakashi wouldn't push any further. It technically wasn't a full lie anyway. His entire body was shaking from the tremendous amount of stress it was under. His short push-up test from earlier did not help his condition either.
Kakashi's eyebrow rose an inch, signifying his disbelief towards Hachi's words. He shook his head slightly with a sigh. Just when was this kid going to open up to him? Hachi already told Kakashi of his past, but that did nothing when Hachi didn't even trust Kakashi with the most basic things. Kakashi couldn't blame him of course. Hachi's entire behavior reflected his trauma, and Kakashi's hands were tied when it came to that.
"Look, I know you aren't used to opening up, but I need you to actually talk to me if you want to get better." Kakashi finally spoke up after collecting his thoughts. He was frustrated at Hachi's lack of words and trust, but that was something you can only build with time. All Kakashi could do at this time was push Hachi in the right direction and hope that he doesn't crumble.
"It's really nothing. It's just me being stupid." Hachi said while avoiding Kakashi's eyes and turning around. Kakashi got up from his pile of books and walked over to Hachi silently, making Hachi all the more nervous.
"We both know that you aren't a stupid person," Kakashi said while holding back another sigh. Hachi looked up at Kakashi's towering form and wanted to retract into his skin if he could. Noticing his rather threatening pose towards Hachi, Kakashi backed up a little to give Hachi space. He didn't want to make the latter more uncomfortable than he already was.
Realizing Kakashi's little actions, Hachi calmed down slightly. He bit the bottom of his lips, contemplating if Kakashi really needed to know his embarrassing thoughts. Hachi felt that his desire to talk to Kakashi was a sign of weakness. Silence shouldn't be a thing that someone should be so afraid of, but here Hachi was: being afraid of the silence. Admitting this fact to Kakashi was a devastating blow to his pride.
"I'm not comfortable with silence," Hachi mumbled under his breath, making Kakashi lean closer.
"What did you say?"
"I said I'm not comfortable with silence." Hachi let out louder at an almost shouting volume. Kakashi stepped back at the sudden outburst before finally taking in what Hachi said. He raised an eyebrow and the corners of his lips were upturned.
"That's the thing you've been keeping from me?" Kakashi stated in a slightly belittling manner. "Well… that is a stupid thing indeed," Kakashi said and Hachi wanted to crawl up in a hole.
Kakashi reached his hand out to pat the top of Hachi's head. He knew that his wording had made Hachi noncompliant and shudder away from his touch.
"I meant… it was stupid of you to think that you needed to keep such a thing a secret from me," Kakashi said. Hachi's head shot up. "It's completely normal to have fears or insecurities. That's the price of being human." Kakashi continued and Hachi couldn't believe his ears.
A shinobi shouldn't have weaknesses. It is the number one rule. If being human meant having weaknesses, then shinobis should abandon their humanity. It was such an obvious rule that Hachi was completely shocked to hear Kakashi explain something that shook the core fundamentals that made up his nindo.
"But a shinobi shouldn't have any fears or weaknesses. It doesn't make sense—"
Kakashi cut Hachi off, "and that is impossible. At the end of the day, it is a human that is trying to be a shinobi, not the other way around. You are a smart kid. You know deep down that it is impossible for humans to abandon the very thing that makes them human. Emotions are a strong thing that no one can run away from." Hachi listened to Kakashi's words carefully. It was the first time he had heard such a thing, even when training with his mother.
His mother was the strongest person that Hachi knew and it was solely because she cast away her humanity and emotions. Sure she was also extremely talented, but that was also due to her successful elimination of said humanity. His entire world view was being challenged and he didn't know who or what to believe anymore.
How can Hachi believe the words of someone who he had just met? How could he abandon his nindo that he has been cultivating throughout the multitude of years that he has been living outside his village? It was blasphemous news to Hachi.
Kakashi saw the confusion etched on Hachi's face and decided to speak up once more, "Look, you don't have to believe me, but know that what I said is for your own good. It's not healthy for your mentality to continuously wipe away every single emotion you have."
Hachi looked down at his hands with his eyebrows scrunched together. A frown slowly formed across his face in contemplation. It doesn't matter if it was unhealthy for Hachi. The only thing that mattered was that he became a better shinobi.
"But I need to get better… How can I get stronger if I have these emotions weighing me down?" Hachi questioned without lifting his head. His hands were in tight fists and the clothes underneath began to wrinkle.
Kakashi just hummed. "You train." He replied simply as if it was the easiest answer in the world. A desperation clung to Hachi's stomach. Kakashi's answer did little to subside the growing anxiety.
Tears formed at the base of Hachi's eyes as if his body was ready to wash away the negative emotion. At the sense of the familiar stinging in his Hachi's eyes, he clenched his jaws fiercely. His desperation and frustration that was directed to Kakashi's foreign answer was now shifted to himself.
Tears: a sign of weakness. Hachi thought. Every single gear that was turning in Hachi's head didn't go unnoticed by Kakashi. Without a second thought, Kakashi brought Hachi into his arms and into a tight embrace.
Kakashi felt his shirt dampen in two separate pools, but he didn't care. The child in front of him was someone that needed him. Hachi reminded him too much of himself and while Kakashi didn't have a proper support system, he would rather go through hell than let someone else experience what he did.
Hachi heard continuous whispers of encouragement entering his ears and he couldn't help the sobs that racked throughout his body. Kakashi tightened his hug more in response, but he was mindful of the pain that Hachi might be experiencing. He slightly winced at the nails that slowly dug into his shoulders by Hachi through his sheer grip on his shirt. This was not the time to focus on such trivial matters.
Kakashi slowly stroked Hachi's back in a comforting manner and continued his strings of reassurance towards Hachi.
"Silence doesn't have to follow you everywhere," Kakashi stated. "Everything has a solution. You of all people should know that."
"So what should I do?" Hachi replied, lifting his head to be face to face with Kakashi.
"Well, there are a lot of solutions, such as singing to yourself or carrying a radio." Kakashi said and Hachi could feel his cheeks grow red in response.
"How the fuck am I gonna sing to myself? That's just fucking embarrassing." Hachi almost shouted and Kakashi raised an eyebrow.
"Language," Kakashi said calmly before continuing, "Or you could just—"
"No, that's enough suggestions from you." Hachi cut Kakashi off much to his annoyance and tried to get away from the man in front of him. He rolled his eyes at the suggestions coming out of Kakashi's mouth. Kakashi's stupid ideas were enough to ease Hachi's growing anxiety, at least, for the time being.
Hachi scooted away from Kakashi, gaining a conscience about the fact that he was in Kakashi's embrace. He coughed slightly trying to ease the tense atmosphere. It didn't take a genius to notice any of Hachi's actions, and Kakashi Hatake was nothing short of a genius. He turned away from Hachi and left the room, going to a separate storage room.
Hachi continued where he left off. With the duster in hand, he finished cleaning the area. Once he was done, he stepped back to examine his handiwork.
His expectations were shattered as he looked at the small room, noticing no difference from before. It was clean before, there was no reason for it to be sparkling now. A small frown adorned Hachi's face.
With a sigh, Hachi stored away the duster just as Kakashi was also cleaning up his supplies.
"We're done here. Go relax." Kakashi said in a stern tone. Hachi was not ready to get up and just run around just yet.
"Can I just go for a walk? I promise I won't go too far." Hachi pleaded, enlarging his still red eyes.
Looking at Hachi's pouting face, Kakashi's heart quivered. A dejected sigh escaped Kakashi's lips and he lowered his gaze to the floor.
"Fine."
Hachi visibly lit up and he quickly thanked Kakashi before speeding out of the apartment, barely letting Kakashi make a sound of protest.
"Be careful." Kakashi said right in time for Hachi to close the door with a quick 'ok'.
The weather was perfect; the wind blew softly to ease the harshness of the sun. Not a cloud etched the sky and the sight of such nothingness almost blew all of Hachi's worries away.
Just being outside seemed to ease Hachi, however, he didn't need to walk far before he regretted his choice. Within five minutes of his peaceful stroll, a voice shattered his solace.
"Found you…"