...I'm ever shown? I'd not be so scared to run into the unknown.
"-ate it when he doesn't let me know he's okay after patrol." a woman was saying, sounding a bit stressed and exasperated. Then, abruptly she called out, "Peter!?"
"Typical Peter though," another woman's voice, speaking a little quieter, "he used to forget to text me too, most of the time." she had a more deadpan tone of voice.
There was a beat of silence then, filled by the sounds of packets and some shuffling before the first woman called out again,
"Peter, are you sleeping?!" then she spoke to the other woman again, "I wish he wouldn't. Honestly, I worry about him so much, and I'm supportive of," a pause as the door was closed, "of the Spider-Man thing, you know, but I still worry about him." and Wade was very slowly pushing the bedroom door so it was almost shut.
He was listening carefully to their movements, in order to be aware of their distance from the bedroom as he backed up to Peter's desk, where he quietly picked up his firearm and his mask, both of which he'd left there earlier, before going down to do the laundry.
"He always just used to apologize and tell me he'd been too tired. That he didn't remember before falling asleep." the other woman was saying. She sounded like she was maybe younger than the first one.
"Yeah, that's what he usually tells me too." a sigh, and steadier footsteps coming nearer. Wade stepped further back and to the side, "Let me check if he's asleep," the voice was much closer, more footsteps and then the bedroom door was pushed open, "Pe-...ter?" the woman had paused in saying the name, her tone of voice sounding confused.
Wade was outside. He'd exited through Peter's open bedroom window and jumped over to the fire escape as stealthily as possible, just seconds before the woman had reached the bedroom door. But he could still hear them inside clearly because both the bedroom and lounge windows were open, and not very far away from each other. Right then, he'd just finished pulling his mask down and he was slipping his gun into the back of his jeans, standing beside the lounge window, just out of view.
"Is he not here?" the younger woman asked, her voice coming from inside the bedroom as well.
"No, he's not, and that's...weird." the other woman said, and Wade frowned, wondering what she'd noticed that was weird, and then he heard, "Oh, his phone is here. So he must have been here. He probably forgot it," a random chuckle, "maybe he went out to buy coffee, or to get something to eat or something. He's so lazy to make breakfast when he wakes up, anything besides instant cereal is too much effort. Once I saw him eat a sleeve of Oreos in a bowl of milk. It's ridiculous." she sounded like she was amused about it, but also, she was talking a lot all of a sudden, and Wade had heard something being opened and closed while she was talking. Like a drawer...maybe the nightstand drawer? That's where Peter's phone had bee-
Oh fuck , and the lube! The lube had been right next to Peter's phone, and the bed was stripped! Was that what she'd meant was weird! Uuuugh. Yeah, that was probably super weird for her, being Peter's aunt and all. But she sounded like she was pretty cool about it, all things consid-
"He was obviously here recently. Looks like he did laundry when he woke up, and the place smells like pancakes." the woman with the deadpan voice was saying, "I had no idea he even knew how to make pancakes." and she didn't sound impressed, she actually sounded a bit annoyed? Or maybe not annoyed, just a little like she was bothered by it somehow.
For whatever reason the other woman, who he was assuming was Peter's aunt, didn't say anything for a while, and several seconds of silence passed before the deadpan one spoke again,
"Oh, yeah, May, something is happening right now in downtown Manhattan, and Peter is there. Wow, it's something big. Look." more silence and then,
"What's a doombot?
"I dunno', something new that some bad guy came up with I guess, it's New York after all." the deadpan one said, and there was another sigh from the woman now confirmed to be May, Peter's aunt.
"At least the Fantastic Four group is there too, he's not dealing with it alone." another beat of silence, "There are so many of those doombot things."
"Yeah, wow, it looks nuts." deadpan said.
"God, I feel too old for this sort of stress. If it weren't for the blip, can you imagine how much older I'd look." her voice moved into the lounge area again as she talked.
The deadpan voice of the other woman moved likewise,
"No way, you look great. I hope I look as good as you when I'm your age."
"You flatterer." they both laughed then, and their voices became more distant, "Oh my god, look at this mess." oh...crap, they were in the kitchen.
Wade immediately felt bad, thinking of the state the kitchen had been left in. He'd intended to clean up... and he'd intended to fetch Peter's bedding from the laundry room, but now he couldn't do any of that. Fuck, Wade hated how even when he tried to do good things, it got fucked up. He shook his head, deciding it was a good time to lea-
"It was a pleasant surprise running into you, MJ, I haven't seen or spoken to you since you and Peter broke up." May said. Wade blinked away the thought about leaving, heard the microwave open,
"Oh yeah, sorry about that, May. I moved to be close to M.I.T, and, uh, and anyway, I thought it might be, I dunno', awkward or something, to, like, stay in contact."
So the deadpan girl was Peter's ex. The one in the picture on his wall? Almost definitely. Peter had said there'd only been the one, so it had to be-
"I guess I kind of understand that, but you know we still care about you, that didn't change." May said, and it sounded like she really meant that.
Wade had no right feeling stung by that, but he did. Just a little.
"Thanks, May, I care about you guys too." a very brief silence, some kitchen noises and, "I, uh, I've been, kinda', uh, I've been missing Peter, you know." a pause in the kitchen noises, before they resumed again. There was the sound of running water as well, then it stopped, but no talking following her admission. And Wade hated that he felt a lump form in his throat, as well as some heavy dread drop into his stomach. Because Peter's ex-girlfriend, his beautiful ex-girlfriend was missing Peter. She-
"Have you seen him since you came to New York?" May asked, breaking the silence.
"Oh, yeah, we had dinner on Saturday night. It was good to see him. Pretty fun, almost like old times."
...Saturday nigh-what?
"Oh, yeah?" May sounded a bit confused about hearing that, while the ex sounded like she really thought it had been fun. There was a smile in her voice, noticeably less deadpan, and Wade was feeling very, very sick all of a sudden, and like May, he was feeling confused, but on a much worse level.
Because Peter hadn't mentioned going out to dinner with his ex-girlfriend, not even in a text, not even indirectly, not even offhandedly. He hadn't even hinted at it. And all the while Wade had been trying so hard to get back to see him on time. Hadn't Peter said he wanted honesty though? Did that just apply one way? It definitely wasn't honest for Peter to not tell him he was going out with his ex-girlfriend.
Wade clenched his jaw, but then almost immediately stopped it, letting out a silent breath and forcing himself to relax...and swallow the bitter reality of the situation.
'Can't blame him.' he thought sadly, 'He probably wants to keep his options open.' even though it didn't really make any sense after everything that had happened the night before. After the sex, and after the talking and the singing and falling asleep together. And yet, Wade couldn't help but feel it was the most likely reason Peter hadn't even mentioned it, even as a by-the-way sort of thing.
"-cting weird though." deadpa-, uh, MJ was saying.
May laughed, the sounds of dishes, probably being washed, could be heard, drowning out the talking briefly, then he heard,
"-lways acts a little weird." May was saying.
"True, I guess. It's part of the reason I figured out he was Spider-Man, he always acted so weird."
Some more silence followed, dragged on a bit, and Wade slowly stood off from leaning against the wall, once again deciding he should leave, but he paused again, because despite not wanting to hear anything else, he felt annoyingly compel-
"Let me help you."
"Thanks, MJ."
There were some kitchen noises filling a brief silence, before MJ made a sound that could have been a laugh and she said,
"Now I know why he never made pancakes when we were together. What a mess." and May laughed a bit, before MJ asked her, "Uh, May, do you know if Peter is seeing anyone? Or, like, if there is anyone he's interested in?"
The next pause from May was too long, too long at least when following after being asked a question. It was an obvious pause of overthinking, and Wade swallowed tensely, listening until May said,
"Uh, no, no, I, I mean, I don't know if," another pause, "I don't know." she finished, voice a little apologetic, but she was lying, and she was a bad liar.
Wade knew she was lying, because Peter had said he'd mentioned to her that he was going out with someone on that first date of theirs, so, to Wade's thinking, it made sense Peter would probably have mentioned him again to her. He doubted it truly hadn't come up between Peter and his aunt at least one other time after that first date, not when they were so close. So May, at the very least, knew about him being in Peter's life in some capacity. She knew there was someone , but she was lying about it to...to Peter's ex-girlfriend. So then, she was probably trying to keep Peter's options open too?
Once again, there was a sting that came with that thought and Wade had to quietly breathe through it.
"Oh." MJ said, sounding like she suspected the aunt was lying.
"Why do you ask?" May asked, sounding too forced-casual about it.
"I asked him about it during dinner, and he said he isn't, but I didn't really believe him."
Oh. Oh was right. Wade felt really sick, and a little hollow inside.
May and Peter were clearly alike, in that Peter was a bad liar too, and he'd obviously tried to lie to his ex that he wasn't seeing anyone, but she'd seen through it.
Did Peter...did he want to get back together with her? It really didn't make sense after the night before but...
Feeling very sick and getting angrier by the second, Wade knew he had to leave then. So he turned and vaulted himself over the railing, dropping all five floors to do a superhero landing, which definitely broke some bones, but it didn't take more than a second before he stood up and started walking away, bones already clicking back into place with each step. He had his mask on already, and he pulled his hood up just before he exited the alleyway, then he shoved his hands in his jeans pockets.
He was going to head back ho-
He was going to head back to his safehouse, and from there...well, he had no idea.
So, you've fallen in love...
Peter got back home about three and a half hours later, and so, yeah, turns out, doombots were apparently a thing that was a growing problem in NYC, courtesy of that Von Doom guy the Fantastic Four usually dealt with. Peter hadn't heard of doombots before though, so it had been new to him to fight them, but he'd helped out as much as he could. He'd cooperated with the Fantastic Four pretty well for a first-time team up! Probably since he had some team work experience of his own.
That Johnny Storm guy though, yeesh, he was a bit annoying, but in a way Peter could kind of relate to, maybe. But he knew his own sarcastic quips and running commentary had been as annoying to the Human Torch as the blonde's egotistical overconfident attitude had been to him. Ultimately though, it hadn't been too bad once the fighting had really gotten underway, it'd actually been nice to work with other supers again.
Peter only wished he'd been able to enjoy the experience without feeling gross from stale sex sweated skin, morning breath and...other questionable body fluids in new places, all of it making him itch and feel super self-conscious about getting too close to any of the FF members in case they would smell him. And on top of that, he'd worn his new suit with boxers , which totally ruined the lines of his suit and also, it was majorly uncomfortable riding and bunching up. And it wasn't like it was the first time he'd had to rush out to be Spider-Man after sex, or doing something of a sexual nature, whether it'd been when he was with MJ or when he was having some alone time with his hand. But the sex he'd had with Wade had been a lot more intense and sweatier and messier and, well, just so much more than his previous experiences. So in the aftermath of all that, he'd really been in need of a shower.
Which is exactly what he was thinking about by the time he dropped into his bedroom window. Ugh. Uncomfortable wasn't even the word to describe how he was feeling.
He removed his mask, feeling relieved the moment it was off, huffing out a breath and shaking his head lightly, and then he glanced around the room, noticing first that the bed was stripped, and then that the bedroom door was almost closed. It made him frown slightly and he turned to look down at his cell phone, which was on the nightstand where he'd left it. In fact, everything besides the bed and the door seemed to be mostly the same as when he'd left. But Wade's clothes were not lying around, which, okay, it was understandable he would have probably showered and put his clothes on, but looking around with more scrutiny, Peter wondered if Wade would have put on his hoodie? Also, where was his gun? His mask? His shoes? A feeling of being let down started to sink in when he called out,
"Wade!?" tossing his mask aside onto his desk. He grimaced at how gross and sweaty and icky he felt whenever he moved, like right then, when he took two steps to pick his phone up from the side table after hearing no answer from Wade in the apartment. And he was already frowning, but he frowned even more when he saw three messages and a missed call on his phone, from May, MJ, Wade and May, in that order.
Peter opened Wade's message first, but it wasn't anything with an explanation or an excuse or even anything informative, it was just many, many heart and kissy emojis. He smiled, couldn't really help that reaction, but then he frowned again, because where was Wade?! Had he ended up leaving and a spam message of emojis was all he left behind?
"Wade?" he called again, walking toward his bedroom door as he read May's message next, which the timestamp revealed was the message that came through first for the day, from before he'd even woken up that morning...and his heart jumped into his throat when he discovered it was another threat to come over if he didn't answer her message! And then she'd called while he'd been gone!
He'd just pulled the bedroom door open, saying,
"Wade!?" again, and he looked up...only for his stomach to bottom out when he saw not only May...but MJ as well, sitting near one another on the same sofa in his lounge and looking at him.
What the...what? What was happening?
He stared at them and they stared at him, and after several long stomach turning seconds, he blinked twice and swallowed thickly before saying,
"H-hi."
May just smiled, a little tense and awkwardly, because she was probably thinking about Peter returning home and calling out for Wade and knowing what that probably –definitely- meant about the night before. MJ just straight up asked,
"Who's Wade?"
...but why was MJ even there?
May raised her eyebrows at him, as if to say 'well? what now?', so Peter blinked again, one time too many, and said,
"Uh, its, that's, it's my, he's, uh, he's my c-uh ca-cat. My cat. I have a cat." he finally decided, nodding. May made a 'wow, okay' face and then she nodded slowly too, but MJ didn't even look at her, she was just staring at him,
"A cat." she repeated, no intonation, expression as unreadable as ever.
"Yeh-yeah." he nodded some more.
MJ looked at May, who just smiled and nodded, then she looked at him again, before she glanced around with her suspicious frown settling into place,
"I don't see any cat hair, or pet bowls or toys o-"
"He's very, uh," Peter cut her off, shifting on his feet awkwardly, holding himself stiff, "he's new," more nodding, "very new. I don't have, I didn't, I didn't buy any bowls, yet," she narrowed her eyes at him, "its, sss, uh, he's kind of a sss-tray, a stray, came, came into my window one time, and I, some, sometimes I, I, so I decided to have a cat."
Wow, he was really not good at this.
May looked like she felt bad for him, and bad for herself by extension.
"Oh, kay." MJ said, so obviously not buying it at all.
Then May thankfully stepped in,
"How did it go? Are those weird bot things all taken care of? Did you get hurt?" she asked as she stood up, changing the subject as smoothly as possible and looking like she wanted to come closer , probably for a hug or to check for any injury, but Peter was hyperaware of what he smelled like right then. Sex B.O was very different to normal B.O! There was absolutely no way he was letting May get close!
"Uuuuh, nono, no, uh," he backstepped into the room, one hand out at arms length, making May stop several feet away, frowning. MJ hadn't stopped frowning, all narrowy eyed, even as she slowly stood up too. Peter tried to explain, "I, like, need to shower, like, really. I'm very sw-sweaty, I just got out of bed this morning, had no time to, uh, I just went straight out to the scene..." he trailed off. Then tried not to panic, watching the way May's eyes widened, because she knew Wade had been there, and...and the bed was stripped! Had Wade done that? And he wasn't letting her get close, and he'd just admitted it was because he hadn't showered yet, and the conclusive reason for it all was so obvious and he really wished he could just not be in that situation right then.
May now knew...she knew for one hundred percent certain that he and Wade had had sex the night before and... oh God. That was so awkward! And Wade, where was Wade!? What happened?
MJ was standing by the sofa, giving him a curious once over when May said,
"Oh, uh, okay, honey, you go take a shower and then come out and join us, we'll eat all those pancakes you made." she said it in a very natural way, but her face was saying 'I'm covering for your lying butt here you little shit', and Peter was super, spectacularly grateful for her all over again, even as he did a sort of nodding head shake thing, mind starting to spin, and said,
"Y-yeah, pancakes, that, it sounds, it sounds good."
Pancakes? There were pancakes? Had Wade...Wade had made him pancakes?! And Wade had almost definitely been the one to strip the bed. Had he been trying to tidy up? And he'd made Peter something to eat for when he got back?
Wade had been there, he hadn't left. He'd been there waiting for him to get back and...crap.
There was a lump in his throat and May and MJ must have both seen whatever expression his influx of emotions were causing him to make, but it was May who said,
"It's so early in the morning for you to be out fighting robots, you look so tired, Peter. Go take a shower, you'll feel better and then you can eat something." she tried to cover for him again, but didn't come any closer, even though she looked like she wanted to. God, Peter loved her. She was the best.
All he could do was nod again, then he turned and stepped fully into the room before closing the bedroom door behind him...where he dropped into a crouch with his back against the wood and buried his face in his free hand, trying not to cry, while grinding his teeth.
Why the hell did something always have to interfere with his personal life!
After a moment and a few deep breaths, he sighed and lifted his head again, looking around. There were no signs of Wade anywhere in the room. He'd obviously taken off before May and MJ could have seen him, probably out of the damned window because May would have definitely used her key to get inside. And why the hell was MJ there too!? He still had no ide- oh, right. He remembered then that there was a message from her as well. He moved to stand up again as he checked the message on his phone from her. Like May's text, it also had a timestamp from before his spider sense had woken him, it read;
Turns out I have to leave NYC sooner than
I thought, figured I'd visit today, maybe
late morning if that's cool? I'd like to see
you before I go.
Of course, that was just his shitty Parker luck! That his ex-girlfriend would show up to visit him the morning after he'd had sex for the first time with his new partner! Really, it was the kind of thing that happened in day time dramas! Why was his luck so soapy and messed up!
And what the hell had happened!? Had Wade seen May and MJ, or heard them? Would he have known who they were? He probably would have guessed who May was, but MJ? UUUUUGHHHH. And worse still, he found it very discouraging and worrying that there was no text message from Wade after whatever had happened, happened. Why wouldn't the man have texted to say literally anything about having left? What could have happened to make him leave and not let Peter know something about it?
What the hell even was his life!?
Annoyed, frustrated, worried, uncomfortable and sad, Peter tossed his phone onto the bed and headed to his bathroom, pulling off his suit top as he went, and slamming the bathroom door closed a little harder than necessary once he was inside.
He felt a lot better after a hot shower and brushing his teeth, but it was only physically. Emotionally and mentally he still felt off balance. He had no idea what to think about Wade not texting him, no idea what to think of MJ showing up there. All he'd wanted was to have a relaxing morning with Wade, even if it'd been after coming back from fighting doombots, but now he just felt unsettled and anxious.
Peter dressed in a clean T and jeans and he was rubbing a towel over his damp hair as he went to quickly pick his phone up off the bed. He hoped to see a message, but there was nothing, so he texted Wade instead. He started it many different ways, to ask what happened, but none of them felt right, so he settled for,
Sorry about this morning.
You okay? Wanna meet up
later?
That sounded really pleasant and neutral, and simple too, he figured he could just go to Wade's place instead of Wade coming to his, because at least at Wade's, they wouldn't be disturbed by family members with keys and ex-girlfriend's showing up. After sending the message, Peter stared at it, wanting to see if it was read, but after a minute of nothing, he locked and pocketed his phone, tossed his towel over the back of his computer chair, and left his bedroom.
He glanced around the lounge area as he walked out of his room, not for any real reason. Maybe subconsciously looking for any signs of Wade's presence left behind, but then he got a bit of a shock when MJ asked,
"Still looking for Wade?" in an unreadable tone of voice. She was standing inside the kitchen, looking at him through the serving hatch, where she was leaning on the counter on her elbows. Peter blinked at her and smiled, probably noticeably too forced, answering,
"Y-yeah." quite weakly.
She knew too. Peter wasn't sure what she knew, but she knew something.
When he walked into the kitchen, the first thing he noticed was a very tall stack of perfect looking pancakes on the small kitchen table. They were all so round and golden and thick and fluffy. Peter was-
"Didn't know you could make pancakes, Pete." MJ again, indirectly rubbing it in that she knew he was lying about something. It made him want to scream, because he already felt so unsettled and upset about Wade having to leave how he did, but now he felt like his privacy was being invaded, trampled on, questioned. It was really irritating him, but he didn't scream, he didn't even make a face or sigh out aloud, instead, he just took a fortifying breath and looked at May, who had set out some margarine, jam and maple syrup on the table, along with three plates and some cutlery.
"Juice or coffee?" she asked, trying to lighten the atmosphere.
"I-I'll get the juice, May, you can sit down." Peter suggested and gestured for her to sit, then to MJ too, "You sit too, MJ." and he walked further into the kitchen, past May, toward the fridge.
He'd just put his hand on the fridge door handle, when MJ said,
"The pancakes are pretty freshly made too," and he paused, staring at the fridge, not looking at her, "didn't you say you rolled right out of bed and went to the scene this morning?" tense silence followed that question. Or rather, not really a question, because she wasn't actually asking since the answer was plainly obvious. He'd lied. He'd lied badly. Neither he nor May said anything to her, they didn't even look at each other, and eventually MJ sighed, "Okay, I'm gonna' be real with you guys, being bad at lying runs in your family." she said it lightly, like it was a joke.
And while it wasn't funny at all, she was right, he and May both sucked at lying.
Peter glanced at May, who pursed her lips as she looked from MJ to him, cocking an eyebrow when their eyes met, an expression of 'oh well we tried' on her face. Peter just closed his eyes and took a breath. This was not how he'd pictured his morning after going. He'd pictured still being with Wade in bed for a while, talking about stuff, and then maybe they'd have showered together, and maybe they'd have had breakfast together. Maybe they wouldn't even have left the bed, they might have spent more time in bed together, working on the stamina thing.
But no , he was standing in his kitchen with his aunt and his detective-like ex, having to talk about Wade, which he didn't want, instead of getting to be with him, which he did want. And he was still worried and confused, having no idea how Wade dealt with them showing up. What a mes-
"I'm, uh, I'm going to take this food through to the lounge, the table's too small for three people." May said, making a fairly lame excuse to leave them alone together as she was already gathering what she could to leave the kitchen. Peter had no idea why she thought it was necessary to leave them alone, but asking or pointing it out would be really awkward, so he just turned to face his back to the fridge and waited until May left the kitchen.
It wasn't even like there was much privacy created by doing so though, since the place was small and there was a serving hatch that left the kitchen pretty exposed. But there was nothing Peter could do about it, apparently he and MJ needed to talk about something?
He folded his arms across his chest just when she said,
"So, Wade is obviously not a cat." Peter said nothing, kept himself from rolling his eyes or shaking his head, "And you'd obviously left Wade alone in your apartment when you left this morning, so that means Wade...stayed the night." he really didn't want to talk about Wade, especially not with MJ, "So then, is Wade the person who you denied being involved with when I asked the other night." Peter just took in an audible breath and let it out again, "Wade, who is obviously a man." she added, in a bit of a mumble.
Peter finally looked at her then, frowning a bit when he realized he couldn't read her expression. MJ had a really flat poker face, which she'd used to joke was her resting face. When they'd been together though, it'd been different, she'd been more expressive and open with her over all demeanor, but right then, she was totally unreadable. He had no idea what she was thinking or feeling.
So he just shrugged, shook his head a little and said,
"Okay, yeah, happy now? You figured it out." he took a step away from the fridge, turning more to face her. Her poker face eased then and she proceeded to look like she was getting upset, as if she was the one who was having her personal life invaded and questioned.
"I don't get it, Peter." Peter braced himself for what she was going to say, assuming she was going to ask about his sexuality or something along those lines, "Why wouldn't you just be honest when I asked you?" he hadn't expected that question, but it felt like an equally ridiculous question to ask,
"Why would I have to tell you about it?" he unfolded his arms, raised his hands, palms up, frowning, "I don't have to tell anyone about it if I don't want to."
She scoffed,
"No? Yeah, okay, fine." she frowned, "You don't have to, but why would you want to keep it such a secret. Did you think I'd react badly because I'm your ex-girlfriend, or because you're dating a guy?"
Peter was shaking his head before she even finished her question,
"No." he said and then repeated, "No, I didn't even think of how you'd react, I just didn't want this." he gestured between them and then she frowned differently, like she was offended,
"What's this?" her voice was flat again as she gestured the same way he had.
Peter sighed,
"I just mean the questions, MJ, I didn't want to be asked a bunch of questions."
"By me? Because I'm your ex?"
Peter didn't like that she looked upset, he didn't want to upset her, so he tried to deescalate,
"By anyone, not even May knows much." he gestured to the lounge area, and then decided to at least be honest with her, "But yeah, it feels weirder to talk about it with you because-"
"Because I'm your ex." she repeated flatly, resting face easing back into place. Peter could only sigh, nod his head and shrug. There was a moment of tense quiet then, before MJ said, "We used to be friends, before the blip, after the blip, before we dated." she pointed out what he already knew.
Peter sighed again, nodded,
"I know, I know..." he shrugged again, "but then we weren't anymore, we were together and it changed things, and now we're exes, which changes things as well." she didn't look like she was going to say anything, so he continued, "And it feels weird to talk about my, uh, my dating stuff, with you." he added, saying it as nicely as he could. And maybe he was an ass for feeling that way, but he couldn't do anything about it. Talking to MJ made his stomach feel weird, made him feel oddly guilty too since Wade didn't even know anything about MJ being around lately. And he didn't want anyone getting hurt by his stupid actions and inability to manage his personal life, not MJ or Wade, or himself, so it just seemed like a good idea to keep it all separate-
"Okay, yeah, okay, I get it." MJ had been leaning against the counter but she stood up now and shoved her hands into her jeans pockets, "So, we're not actually friends anymore, just friendly exes." she gave him a forced neutral look, but Peter could see a hint of sarcasm in it. He felt a swell of sad upset inside his chest when she said those words, and with that tone, and absently took steps toward her,
"No, MJ," another sigh, "come on, okay, I don't, that's not what I-" he tried to reach out to touch her upper arm but she moved way,
"Nah, I get it." she said, tone noticeably upset then, as she continued to back up toward the kitchen doorway, Peter frowning as he watched her distance herself from him, "It's probably better this way." she was just outside the doorway and she reached down to pick up the bag she must have brought with her, shouldering it. And then she did that thing where she decided to be brutally honest out of the blue while avoiding eye contact, "I can't pretend like I'm not a little upset about it, about how happy you seem dating someone new," and Peter's stomach dropped, making him feel instantly anxious, throat a little tight. He didn't blink as he watched her facial expression slowly opening up, becoming openly sad, her eye contact avoidance lessening so she was looking directly at him, "which doesn't make sense since I've been sort of seeing someone too," and her voice sounded watery, "but I guess I should have known I still had, like, feelings or whatever, for you, when I," she averted her eyes again, "decidedIreallywantedtoseeyou." rushing the whole last part of the sentence, her voice softer, a mumble...and Peter was frozen were he stood.
Had MJ just...had she just confessed that she...she still had feelings for him? Which was, like...did it mean that she maybe still wanted to be with him?
Peter swallowed tensely, head spinning a little, anxiousness building rapidly. He had no idea how he was supposed to feel about that. How was he supposed to respond? She'd broken up with him so concisely, one minute they'd been together, the next they hadn't. She hadn't left any room for negotiation, there'd been no doubt in her decision that it had been because of his Spider-Man double life issues that things were never going to work out. She'd ended it, they'd said their goodbyes and then she'd been gone, right out of New York City since then, for months and months, and then, she'd come back, she'd wanted to see him and now she was suddenly saying this to him. Dropping this confession on him.
What was he supposed to say?
He had no idea even as he opened his mouth, only to close it, then he shook his head and averted his eyes, choosing to not say anything.
"Right." her voice sounded sad and tense and she also looked away, down at the ground as she nodded slowly, "I'm gonna', just, go."
He didn't have anything to say, but the anxiousness and her sadness made him want to try,
"MJ, I-"
"No, just, just don't," she cut him off, shook her head, "don't say anything." she sighed, "Like I said, it's better." she had her poker face more or less back in place as she backstepped a bit more into the short hall, and he watched as she glanced to the side, raising a hand and waving slightly,
"Bye, May. It was really nice to see you." her voice was more or less back to normal as well, she'd always had such good control of her feelings. While Peter was sort of reeling, wanting to say something to her, but not having a clue what it should be-
"You too, sweety." May responded and MJ smiled, a sort of sad smile, in May's direction. Peter assumed May was smiling at her the same way. But he didn't feel like smiling, in fact, how he felt right then was so miserable in contrast to how happy and amazing he'd felt just that morning and the night before. Right then he just felt sick and confused and anxious and angry and-
MJ looked at him one last time then, managing a smile, also sad, and Peter felt his eyes burn a little.
What was he supposed to do, or say? He loved her. Of course he did. But did he love her more than Wade? Or rather, it was different than how he loved Wade? He couldn't compare his feelings. The relationship dynamics were nothing alike. It felt wrong to even try to compare the two. And was he supposed to try to figure out on the spot which relationship dynamic was...was better for him?
Was that what he was supposed to do?
"Bye, Pete." MJ said then, with sad finality, ending their seconds long moment of silent staring, then she turned and disappeared around the corner, heading to the door. Her footsteps were light but audible and Peter opened his mouth again, wanting to tell her to wait...but if he said wait, and she stopped, what would he say next? He heard the door open, and he...he knew he didn't want to end things with Wade. He really liked Wade. He was in love with Wade. But MJ-
The door closed and Peter blinked rapidly, heart climbing up into his throat, eyes becoming wetter.
May appeared in the doorway a few seconds later, and her face crumbled into sadness when she saw the tears in his eyes. She immediately came to him and hugged him, and he hugged her back, sniffing and breathing out as a few tears left his eyes.
It was weird. His chest hurt. It felt almost like he'd just broken up with MJ a second time.
"What was I supposed to say, May?" he asked her with his chin on her shoulder, his voice strained and cracking a bit with sadness. He felt May shake her head,
"You could only say what you felt, Peter," she sounded sad too, and she was comfortingly rubbing his back, "or say nothing, which still gave a clear answer."
"But was it the right answer? What was it supposed to be?" he felt so lost.
He loved Wade. He loved MJ. But it was so different .
"Oh, honey." she pulled back to look at him, lowering her hands to take his in her own, "You could have said even one word to make MJ stay and talk, but you didn't," she sounded and looked serious and honest and her confidence made him listen, made him calm down a bit, "because you were thinking about how you feel, and who you feel it for."
And she was right. Peter knew she was right and he stared at her sadly, a few more tears slipping out of his eyes, then he looked past her to the doorway of the kitchen and nodded a few times. Yeah, she was exactly right, he'd been thinking about how he felt, about Wade.
She let his hands go then to briefly rub his forearms, before she loosely folded her arms across her chest and tilted her head,
"I guess I was right about you really liking Wade." she smiled, her voice lighter. She was trying to get rid of the gloom of the moment, but Peter's chest was still hurting so he didn't return the smile, he just looked at her, "I didn't even know you guys were back together," she half rolled her eyes, then her smile turned teasing, "buuuut he stayed the night?"
Peter closed his eyes and shook his head, but he wasn't answering May's question, his own thoughts were still messy and he had a question of his own,
"Should I have stopped MJ, May? Is, is she, should we..." he gestured to himself and then the empty doorway. May's teasing expression turned into a small frown and she shrugged,
"It's for you to choose who you want to be with, Peter."
And that made sense, how could she know? Peter swallowed, sniffed again,
"But MJ is, she, she's..." she was so many amazing things, but all Peter could say was, "safe, she's safe, the, the good dynamic, the healthy choi-" he stopped talking when he saw how May's frown changed.
It was not a sad frown anymore, it was the beginning of an angry frown.
Crap.
Peter quickly stepped back from her, wiping a hand over his face, under his eyes, sniffing,
"Never mind, I jus-"
"Don't never mind me." she cut him off and Peter swallowed tensely again, but that time it was nervousness more than anything else, May looked upset, "Have you been lying to me?" she sounded disbelieving, "Is this man, Wade, is he treating you badly? Peter, what's goin-
"No, nononono," he raised his hands, shook his head and spoke emphatically, "I swear, May, he doesn't, and he would never do anything to hurt me-"
"Then what were you just talking about? All this stuff about being 'complicated'," she made quotation marks with her fingers, "you've been saying it all this time. All the uncertainty, the breaking up, the crying, damnit, Peter, you're saying MJ's safe, so Wade is not safe?" Peter tried to shake his head, say something, but she went on, "Not a good dynamic, not healthy!? Why don't you just tell me what's going on!" she was actually close to yelling. "You're like my son, I think of you as my own child, I worry about you, Peter. And I've been trying to be so supportive, so enough with the secretive bullshit." she was breathing a little heavier, staring right into his face as she put her hands on her hips.
Peter just stared at her, eyes wide and still burning, but now it was for a different reason, and his emotions were flooding with guilt. He'd never been good at lying, he hated lying.
" Peter ." she stressed his name, which was almost like repeating everything she'd just said all over again, and he closed his eyes, breathed in and then out, and opened them again. When he looked at her again, he felt like he couldn't lie anymore. He was in love with Wade anyway, and he wanted to be totally serious with Wade, so it was time to start telling May the truth.
Taking in another deep breath, he said,
"It's his, it's his job, his work, May, he's, uh, he-"
"Just say it, Peter, damnit." she sounded like she was so stressed all of a sudden, voice raised a bit.
"He's a mercenary!" he raised his voice a bit too, feeling stressed as well, and her eyes widened instantly, her frown deepening, then she blinked in stunned confusion,
"A mercenary?" she repeated and Peter nodded, "A mercenary ." she repeated again, voice hardening. Peter didn't nod that time. Wade being a merc was not the biggest issue as far as he was concerned, but for May it would be.
He knew, that in terms of her acceptance of him being with Wade, the man being a mercenary would definitely be the biggest problem. Next would be Wade's real age, but discussing Wade's age would lead to talking about his healing factor which would lead to talking about the fact that he was a mutate...
Oh, man, Peter was starting to feel really, really anxious. How much should he tell her? Was it even okay for him to talk about Wade's skin or his personal issues? It didn't feel like it was his place, but since they were a couple and with May being like a mother to him, wasn't it right to tell her the truth? Or at least the main truths? She didn't deserve to be lied to, it felt wro-
"He is a mercenary." May was speaking again, and Peter could see the gears turning in her head, "As in present and continuous?" he barely nodded before she went on, "Is it a military thing," she pinned him with a look , "or, or is it an independent..." a tense pause, a twitch of her eyebrows, and her voice was really hard and severe when she asked, "Is he a hired gun, Peter?" Peter didn't even have to answer, apparently his shifty, nervous lack of eye contact was enough to make her shriek, "YOU'RE SLEEPING WITH A CONTRACT KILLER!"
Peter panicked at the pitch of her voice, his soul almost leaving his body, and he moved forward quickly to grab her lightly by her shoulders,
"May, May, May, please calm down, it's not, not how you're, not exactly what you're thinking," but it actually was, still he needed her to calm down. Her nostrils were flaring and she was shaking a bit, she also looked pale, as well as furious and worried and panicked, "just calm down, let me expl-"
"Explain what?" she looked right into his eyes, voice harsh and stressed, "He kills people for money." then she laughed mirthlessly, and pulled away from him, putting both hands on her forehead, "Oh my God, you said he has money, and you said he was a specialist, something to do with the US Special Forces. Jesus, Peter." she looked at him, "You lied so blatant-"
"He did used to be in the US Special Forces, that wasn't a lie." he said firmly, raising his voice a bit as well, his face also scrunched up with anxiety. He and May barely ever argued, it was so stressful.
"Did you ever consider that he's lying to you about that, and he's just a killer!?" she shouted then, throwing a hand out, the other remaining on her forehead.
Peter was shaking his head,
"He's not lying, it's in his SHIELD fi-" he cut himself off too late, because May was listening very closely and she'd heard the slip, and she laughed again, disbelieving, and dropped both arms to her sides,
" SHIELD file ? He has a SHIELD-...?" her nostrils flared, "Why, why Peter, does he have a SHIELD file?"
Well, there was no point in lying or omitting anymore. Peter decided he just needed to lay it out.
"He's a mutate." he admitted, raising his hands briefly to flop them down against his sides in defeat.
May paused, blinked, nostrils flaring a few more times with each breath she took, and then she turned and pulled out the nearest chair at the table. She sat down and took another deep breath before saying,
"I want you to tell me about Wade, Peter." she started, voice strained but she was making an effort to calm down, "But this time, honestly, tell me about him honestly, from the beginning." she shifted pointedly so she was sitting and facing him sideways on the chair, and her expression was no nonsense.
Peter clenched his jaw, knowing he could just say no, he was allowed to say no, he was an adult and it was his personal business, but of course, that wasn't the person he was. And he had a hope, a weak, weak hope, May would accept Wade, so,
"Okay." his voice pitched, and he cleared his throat and fidgeted a bit before folding his arms across his chest to stop it, "I wasn't totally lying, okay." he started, and she just cocked an eyebrow at him, so he clenched his jaw again one more time and continued "I did meet him before the blip, just as I said. It was the night I fought the Vulture on Coney Island."
May took a brief moment to connect the name and time frame of events,
"Liz's dad." she asked, pushing her hair behind her ears on both sides, hands still shaking.
"Yeah. And he did see me with my mask off. And I was really beaten up and I had no webs left and he showed up unexpectedly and I didn't know what was going to happen." he unfolded his arms, started to gesture as he talked, "I thought he was a bad guy because of his suit and his weapons, and I thought he was going to start some kind of fight and I was super tired and I wasn't in my Stark suit," she was frowning more and more, "but then," Peter took a breath, "he didn't do anything to me. He didn't even trigger my spider sense, May, he just joked around a bit and then he put me in a cab and sent me home." he folded his arms again when he was done and looked at May, eyebrows raised.
May's frown had lessened, but it was still present,
"And then you never saw him again? Not until after the blip?"
Peter shook his head,
"No, no, I didn't, and I mean, I didn't know at the time that he was a merc, but he'd seen my face and I kept waiting for him to show up somewhere to cause me trouble, to come after me or expose me, but he never, ever did." he shook his head, unfolded his arms again, "And so much was going on back then, I actually forgot about it."
May narrowed her eyes and sighed heavily, and then she nodded and said,
"Okay, keep going."
Peter took in another breath and sidestepped to lean back against the counter,
"Then I ran into him completely by coincidence a few months back." and he was about to leave a lot of information out, but none of it was really relevant anyway, "We started actually getting to know each other then, and I learned about him being a merc," May closed her eyes, taking in a breath and shaking her head again, so Peter quickly added, "but I also found out he only k-kills, like, really bad criminals, May, like the worst ." he said emphatically, and that was maybe also not entirely true, but he was trying to gain some ground with her.
She scoffed and opened her eyes to look at him,
"You think him killing criminals, makes him being a killer, okay?" she sounded like she was asking rhetorically, maybe even a little sarcastically. And Peter really didn't like it, it wasn't fair. He really wanted her to at least try to understand, so he said something he'd never said to her before,
"After seeing what I've seen people do to others, to k-kids, to women, to men, the level of twisted violence. May, the sick violence humans are capable of doing..." he wanted to cry again, but he was angry rather than sad, and May's frown had finally gone away. She looked shocked, maybe by his words, maybe by his cold yet serious demeanor, " I can't do what Wade does, I can't," he really couldn't, "but he can and he does, and you can be mad about it, but I don't judge him, I don't, I don't blame him." he said honestly, shaking his head, eyes a little wet again.
May took a moment to let that sink in and then she nodded, her expression somewhat unreadable,
"Okay, you don't blame him for doing what he does," she paused and raised her eyebrows, then asked, "but are you really okay with being involved with a murderer, Peter?" she was asking seriously. And Peter didn't like the word 'murderer', but he took it with a grain of salt, and took the question seriously. He was quiet for several seconds as he considered his answer, and then he said,
"The best way I can describe it, is that I'd be happy if he wasn't a merc," he looked at her earnestly, "but I'm still happy with him, even if he is one." and saying it out aloud really drove it home.
He wanted to be with Wade. Maybe he'd regret it in a week, a month or however much time later, but right then, and even with MJ having confessed to still having feelings for him, at that present moment in time, he wanted to be with Wade. That was it. The long and short of it.
May must have seen something in his face, and whatever it was, it made her look worried, but she also looked contemplative. Peter took the momentary break in the conversation to wipe at his eyes and face again. When a minute passed, Peter decided to ask,
"He wasn't here when you guys showed up, right?"
May had been looking pensively off to the side, but she looked at him when he spoke and shook her head, and then she made a face,
"Or, I mean, I'm not sure, but I think he might have been on the fire escape." Peter raised his eyebrows in question, feeling confused and May facially shrugged, "When MJ and I were here in the kitchen we heard a noise, it sounded like the fire escape rattling. So I went to look out the window. And there was a man walking toward the open end of the alley, he had a black hood up over his head-"
"Black hoodie, dark jeans, black boots?" Peter asked and May nodded,
"Uh, yeah, I guess. I do remember everything he wore was dark. He looked pretty tall and broad too."
Peter swallowed tensely and nodded,
"Yeah, that was, it was probably Wade." he admitted.
May nodded for no reason, then she shook her head and frowned,
"Why hide? Why, why leave via the fire escape? Doesn't he know I know about you two? And anyway, who even does that, Peter?" she was still shaking her head.
Peter didn't say anything, he just shook his head a little. thinking about the fact that his phone in his pocket hadn't beeped or vibrated, which meant there was no response from Wade to his text. It made Peter worry. Why would Wade not have sent him a text after he'd left? Why would Wade not answer the text he'd sent earlier? Wade couldn't be mad about his aunt showing up, that would be bogus. So, no, but maybe, could it be about MJ? He wouldn't know who MJ was though, or...unless he'd overheard something? Peter had been upset about the few conversations he'd heard between Wade and Dom and they hadn't ever even been romantically involved, so he could only imagine how Wade might have felt if he'd heard something, or even just from seeing MJ there.
He was biting his thumbnail without realizing it, until he did, then he stopped and asked May,
"He was on the fire escape? Were the windows open? And, like, for how long, and what were you two talking about?"
May was rubbing one temple absently, an elbow leaned on the table, when she looked at him and shrugged,
"I don't know, Peter, I wasn't exactly taking notes. Why?" she frowned.
He sighed, and decided he shouldn't make it May's problem anyway,
"Nev-never mind, it's nothing, don't worry." he looked away, started to take his cell phone out.
"Don't never mind me, Peter Parker." she said sternly and he paused with his phone in his hand, "You were just laying it all out on the table, so tell me why it matters what MJ and I were talking about?" she raised her eyebrows, "Would he have been eavesdropping?" she sounded like she thought that was no good too. Peter sighed and shrugged, raising his hands up a bit and dropping them,
"May, come on, stop, okay. Like, I don't think he would have been eavesdropping, like, in a sense to be a creep. But if he was waiting on the fire escape to leave, he might have heard whatever you guys were talking about." he clarified.
"And, so what if he did?" she demanded, voice firm, eyebrows raised. She looked so unimpressed.
"I just worry maybe something he heard might have, I dunno', I don't, maybe bothered him."
May looked puzzled and amused and angry all at once,
"We weren't talking about state secrets, or anything a mercen-"
"No, May, seriously." Peter became frustrated and he sighed loudly, and she sighed too, but he kept talking, "I mean, because if he figured out MJ is my ex-girlfriend because he heard something you were talking about, and then, like, she's in my apartment with my aunt." he looked at her, imploring her to understand, "It's weird okay, and it may have bothered him or something." he gestured randomly, hoping May would get what he was trying to say.
He'd gotten to know Wade well enough to know that if something triggered the man's many insecurities, it would be very easy for him to regress to wanting to stay away. To put his guard up and think the worst of himself and everything and everyone else and all Peter could picture was that damn suicide room! And he couldn't even go to Wade, because he didn't know where Wade was living, again ! And Wade wasn't answering his text! No communication all over again! It was so frustrating.
May though, not knowing the whole scenario, looked like she thought that it all sounded very ridiculous,
"Is he really that insecure?" and her unimpressed and disapproving tone was really upsetting to him, "That's dangerous you know, Peter. Unreasonably jealous partners who have violent occupations?" she shook her head, "They can be dangerous. And worse, he's a mutate, so he has some kind of power-"
"Oh my God, May, please stop." he tried not to yell, and he only just managed, clenching his jaw and exhaling loudly as he stood away from the counter and looked at her, " This , this is why I didn't want to say anything about him, this is why I didn't want to talk about him to anyone." he put his phone on the counter and put his face in his hands, heels of his palms pressed into his eyes, "You're just making all these bad assumptions, but you don't even know him, and you don't understand." his voice was cracking, he was getting emotional. What the hell was even happening?
"Okay." May sighed again, "Okay, help me to understand then. Why would he be bothered?" she asked evenly, patiently, sounding like she was trying not to raise her voice, trying to keep calm. Peter was still feeling anxious, and it worsened right then, with the turn the conversation was taking. He hadn't thought it would end up being so revealing about Wade, but since he'd already told her Wade was a merc and a mutate, he supposed there was no point keeping anything else a secret.
His eyes continued to burn as he talked,
"Okay. So. His, he, uh, because of his mutation, Wade has," he gestured to his face and then broadened it to a wider hand movement, May watching and listening with a frown, "uh, his skin is, af-affected by his mutation, so, it's not, uh, normal, I guess."
"Not normal?" May repeated, then asked, "Is it a different colour? Like we've sometimes seen on TV."
Yeah, that was what he'd assumed at first too, because that was actually fairly common these days. But that wasn't the case for Wade. He shook his head once,
"Uh, no, it's dis-disfigured. His skin is disfigured."
May didn't immediately say anything, looked like she was thinking about something, then after a few long quiet seconds, she asked,
"Disfigured like how?" but not insensitively.
That question kind of tripped him up though, because he hadn't yet thought of how to describe Wade's skin to someone. He hadn't even really described it to himself with any real clarity. But after having finally seen it in its entirety the night before, he decided to try,
"I guess, maybe, it's kind of similar to how the scarring from third degree burns look, but, also, like, not." he frowned, trying to think of the words to use, "It's different, because, uh, his features are not disfigured, like burns would do, you know, it's just his skin. And it's, it's, like, in places, sometimes less healed over, like it changes from healing to healed and back again." Peter had noticed that, but hadn't been totally sure until seeing the lower half of Wade's face a few times first. He glanced at May, who looked a little concerned and a little sad, and maybe a little disturbed, since it probably sounded worse than it was and was difficult to imagine. Peter wanted to be as honest about it as he could, "I mean, it's not pretty." he hadn't acknowledged that out aloud yet. It was the first time. It wasn't that he hadn't noticed how bad Wade's skin was, it was just that it didn't bother him, but not everyone would see it that way. And seeing May's expression remain the same made him start to feel more and more uncomfortable talking about it, it felt wrong to discuss something so personal about Wade without his permission. So, he tried to wrap it up as cleanly as possible, "Anyway, it's bad and it's hard for him, and he's, like, really aware of it and self-conscious and he kind of hates himself for it." he sniffed, swallowed again, his emotions all over the place.
Silence followed his last sentence, May not saying anything right away again, and when it dragged on too long Peter picked his phone up and checked it. But there was nothing, his message wasn't even read. He couldn't help picturing that horrible suicide room and it made his stomach turn and his eyes water even more as he stared blankly at his phone. He really hope-
"So, you think if he saw MJ was here, and figured out she was your ex, he'd, what, maybe get the wrong idea and be upset about it?" Peter noted that she didn't seem particularly moved, probably mostly because she was still pissed off about the fact that Wade was a merc, but her tone was softer than before. As for her question...how was he supposed to answer that? It was complicated .
He didn't realize his eyes were wet enough to tear until he blinked and some moisture slipped out. He started to shake his head, shrugging weakly,
"I don't know, May, he might just get the wrong idea. Or," he took in a breath and wiped at his face with one hand, not looking at her, "or he might just decide to back off, because he won't know what it means that she was here, and he already thinks he's not good enough for me." his voice was getting tighter and tighter with emotion, "Or, he might just think I've been," a tense swallow, "lying to him..." which he kind of had been, albeit not with some agenda or bad intention. He just hadn't told Wade anything about being in contact with his ex. But he'd constantly asked Wade for honesty. Shit.
He stared at the text thread, his unread message. He typed out another, just the word;
Wade?
God, what a shitty day it was turning out to be. From feeling so good that morning, to feeling confused about MJ, to not being confused at all and wanting nothing more than for Wade to just answer his message. He felt miles away from the bliss and pleasure and fun of the night before.
He felt really, really down.
It sucked .
"There's something else, isn't there?" Peter closed his eyes, took a quiet breath as he frowned, "Peter?" May prompted, and when he opened his eyes and looked at her again, she looked a lot more concerned, probably because there were more tears slipping out of his eyes. He looked at his phone again, still seeing the same unread symbol next to his texts.
He shook his head then and avoided eye contact as he sniffed and said,
"Wade has a thing that, he, uh," kills himself when he gets down? He couldn't say that, he'd already said so much, "uh, he can be s-self destructive." he decided that was fairly accurate.
May frowned more worriedly,
"Do you, do you mean he's suicidal or something, Peter?" and he didn't answer, because she wasn't wrong. He just looked at his phone again, clenched his teeth. May asked, "Can you call him?"
He shook his head,
"He's not even reading my texts, usually means he's not gonna' answer his phone." he answered in a mumble. He looked at his phone one more time and then locked it and put back in his pocket, leaning against the counter and fiddling with his fingernails.
"I guess this is what you meant by unhealthy." she sighed and shook her head, one of her legs starting to shake. Her fidgeting habits were similar to his own.
Peter just swallowed around the lump lodged in his throat and still didn't say anything. He was trying to think of something he could do, but there didn't seem to be any options. He couldn't call anyone Wade knew, not Dom, not Weasel, not Dopinder. Aside from not knowing their numbers, even if did use his resources to get their contact details, he didn't know any of them, not as just himself, and he had no idea to what extent Wade had mentioned him. He was biting the corner of his thumbnail again, it was hurting, but he didn't stop. He took a moment to consider if maybe he was overreacting? Maybe Wade was just busy? He'd said he wouldn't be taking any jobs, but maybe he'd been a little upset about MJ and had decided to take one to get away for a while. That seemed quite a lot like what the merc would do.
But it hurt...to think he'd do that, just the day after they'd slept together for the first time. Peter decided right then though, that he wouldn't be too mad about it, in fact, maybe he wouldn't be mad at all, if Wade would just answer him. If Wade-
"I'm going to be honest with you, Peter," May said, and her tone was very serious, enough that he felt the need to cry start up all over again just when he looked at her. She stood up then and sighed, "I don't want you to be with him. I don't want you to be with Wade." Peter barely blinked his burning eyes, he just stared at her. He wasn't surprised, he'd known she wouldn't, but he'd hoped . Foolish hope. And of course, it still hurt to hear her say it. "I could understand if you wanted to be there for him, to help him, as a friend . He sounds like he needs someone." she said, sounding sincere, but then she shook her head again, "But having someone with his, with his issues, with his problems, Peter, to be involved in a relationship." another huff of breath, "You already have so much to deal with, and you're so young ," she emphasized, "and look at what he's doing to you." she took a step closer, gesturing to him. She had some tears in her eyes too as she went on, "You've cried so much, and been so all over the place just in the last few months, because of this guy." she made a sad but cross expression.
Peter just shut his eyes and pursed his lips, turning his head away from her, not really wanting or needing to hear that sort of thing right then,
"May, please don't-"
"I can't pretend to be okay with it. I won't, Peter." she said firmly and he made himself look at her again, and he just looked at her, feeling sore and tired and broken down.
The kitchen seemed so terribly silent for a few long seconds, until Peter said,
"I won't break up with him." and he meant it, at least in so far as what May's concerns were. He wasn't going to break up with Wade just because May couldn't accept him. He'd sort of known it might go that way anyway, and he'd been unconsciously preparing for it.
She frowned more then, her eyes becoming damper,
"Peter-"
"I won't." his voice cracked, so he said it again, "I won't ." and he sniffed, face scrunching up, but not with sadness, with determination, as he shook his head, "Sorry, May." he wiped at his chin, sniffed again, "I'm sorry you feel that way, but I won't."
They stood for a moment longer, before May blinked some tears from her eyes and nodded, saying,
"Okay, well," she sniffed then, patted her hands against the sides of her thighs, "I'll, I'll be here for you if you need me, Peter, you know I will. Just," she cleared her throat, "be careful out there, and please, please, text me after patrol just to let me know you're okay." she lightly touched his forearm, "Try not to forget." Yeah, if he hadn't forgotten the night before, they wouldn't even have been having that conversation and maybe everything would have still been great. She kept her hand on his arm, and it didn't look like she was going to give him a hug that time. She squeezed though, her touch lingering but just before he could move his hand to cover hers, she let her hand drop away, saying, "I hope you're right about him, Peter. I really just want you to be happy and safe and have some kind of healthy stability in your life." she took a step back. Then paused and added, "Maybe let me know that he's okay too, when you know." she swallowed and nodded, clearly trying not to cry.
Peter barely held back a sob at those words.
May left then, quietly, and the moment the door closed behind her, Peter did sob.
Alone. He was alone again.
He had no idea how or why it had all gone so wrong so fast.
The night before had been perfect, in that ridiculously imperfect way that was unique to Wade!
It had been so amazing. But now...the bed was stripped, the breakfast Wade had made was cold, May was upset and Wade was gone . And he was uncontactable again and Peter... Peter was alone.
He was crying then, actually crying, his usual quiet but painful, chest aching, cry, and he pulled his phone out of his pocket before he slowly crouched down, leaning his weight back against the counter and pressing the call button on Wade's contact. It didn't even ring, the prerecorded 'number you have dialed is not available' message playing almost immediately.
So, Wade had switched his phone off...?
Peter put his phone on the floor beside him and let himself slide down the cupboard until he was sitting on the floor, then he drew his knees up, put his arms around them and rested his head on his forearms, sniffing and occasionally sobbing. Yeah, he was alone. And May, the person he'd usually depend on for support, was angry and disappointed in him. And all he could picture was Wade shooting himself in the head in some isolated room.
It didn't matter that Wade couldn't die...it mattered that he wanted to.
And it hurt even worse to know, that it was once again, because of something Peter had done to make him feel that way...he really, really just wished Wade would answer him.
Wade didn't answer, not for hours and then the rest of the day...
And it was really messing Peter up, but all he could do was try to distract himself.
That morning, after May had left and he'd been sitting on the kitchen floor for too long, he'd picked himself up and busied himself with sorting out his apartment. He hadn't been hungry, so he refrigerated the mountain of pancakes Wade had made, and then the first thing he'd done was go looking for his bedding, which he found in the laundry room of the building, washed but wet, and he'd had to transfer it to the drier. He'd gone back up to his apartment then and tidied up. It hadn't taken him very long because there hadn't been much mess to begin with, and afterward he'd headed back down to the laundry room to fetch his dry bedding.
He put it right back on the bed, even though he had another set to use in his cupboard. He just hadn't wanted to use another set. As it was, after the awful morning he'd had, he felt like there was nothing to remind him of how much he'd enjoyed being with Wade the night before, so at least having the same set of bedding was some sort of reminder.
And it irritated and frustrated him that he was being so sentimental, but it wasn't because he was feeling particularly sensitive about having had sex with Wade for the first time. He wasn't really wired that way, he'd always been a practical guy when it came to physical matters, he tended to maintain a level headed disposition for the most part. Emotionally was where he struggled. Some things could really tear him up inside, but he still functioned, mostly, so really, it often just left him feeling crappy and kind of hopeless.
Like he presently felt...with Wade ghosting him.
And that also pissed him off, because it really wasn't fair. He hadn't done anything, not technically, not aside from not telling Wade about MJ. And why hadn't he just told Wade? Had he subconsciously been feeling uncertain about his relationship with Wade? Then again, that was a no brainer, he'd been feeling uncertain about Wade for a while because Wade had been so messy and unreliable, and May had made him question Wade's motives and actions on several things and it'd all just been so confusing and complicated.
Ugh, he was sick of that word!
And then just when he'd finally started to feel certain, after so many weeks and the whole crapshow at Wade's place with Bullseye, when he and Wade had finally seemed to get on the same page at last...everything was just going wrong again.
Something really felt like it had to give, had to change...Peter just wasn't sure who or what that would have to be, or how much it'd hurt or heal either of them when it happened.
He waited and waited all day, and he even tried calling Wade again that night, but there was still no call connected.
...so, you've fallen apart.