Chapter Thirty-One: Skill (pt.1)

Maize dreamt of her last moments in the Arena last night. Of the crashing waves and how the water burned her throat and lungs as it invaded her. Of Cana's hopeless expression when... The mornings were difficult for Maize now in a way that they'd never been before. It was hard for her to snap out of her nightmare driven state and actually move in the mornings. Being around her family usually helped dissipate the horrors she'd experienced in the Capitol, but sometimes their company only made Maize feel even more broken.

It wasn't their fault. Maize was just different now. The concept of PTSD and even mild depression could explain away the majority of Maize's new issues... that is if people in her District knew what it was. To her family, Maize was jumpier and quick to try and defend herself. She didn't react well to screams anymore because sometimes she couldn't differentiate a cheerful scream from an anguished one. Nowadays, random objects would send Maize off into flashbacks of her times in the Capitol and in the Arena, which would make her irritable and crabby for the rest of the day.

The future always felt like it was looming over Maize's shoulders like an eternal black cloud of poisonous smog trying to suffocate living things. Maize was constantly aware of the fight on the horizon... so she trained. Every morning Maize ran until she felt a stick in her side and her legs trembled for relief, and every morning the time she ran increased. She did yoga in the morning for an hour and was often joined by all of her siblings now, before working on her strength. In the privacy of her room or with Seeder she trained with her bō staff. Seeder didn't really understand why Maize was still acting like was training to enter the arena, but she never turned Maize away.

Training with the bō was something that Maize had even started teaching Birch and the twins to do. Just because Maize was a Victor and would no longer be reaped didn't mean that her siblings were immune to the Capitol's barbaric Game. Her brother and sisters were sworn to secrecy after all their Uncle had been killed for doing what Maize was teaching them now. Baba had silently approved of the training even if mama fretted over getting caught. In the end, they decided not even Amla would know.

Working in the orchard was probably Maize's favorite part of her day. Despite no longer working the same grueling hours she'd been doing for most of her life, Maize would make her way to the grottos after lunch and work beside her peers until the evening. Joining in song with her District as she'd fill her peck bucket until the dismissal bell rang.

The biggest difference so far was in how others treated her. She got side-eyes from mostly everyone that walked by her. Some cautious and some grateful for the reprive her win brought to the people. Adults, in general, were warier of Maize now as if she would bring death upon their children by just walking too close. Younger children were curious, most not knowing the reason why she'd become infamous, only that she was the reason why they weren't going to bed starving every night. The adolescent she knew would nod their heads in her direction when they saw her coming, but all those of reaping age would mostly stare at her with envy and awe.

Maize privately thought that it was because she had lived where many others had failed. Her Victor status ensured that she would never be reaped again -well until the Mockingjay appeared, but it wasn't like that was common knowledge- and that her family would never go hungry as long as she lived. Maize is what they want to be if the worse comes to pass and they are picked as the tributes for the District.

The sun was slowly starting to set over the horizon, the orange and red hues bleeding into the normally pale blue skies. A soft breeze tickled Maize's face and loose curls. Mama was inside making dinner as her siblings ran around the house merrily, while her Baba was probably still on his way home from work.

"All I want is nothing more/ To hear you knocking at my door.../ Cause if I could see your face once more/ I could die a happy girl I'm sure." Maize sang morosely as she sat in the field behind her home, "When you said your last goodbye/ I died a little bit inside/ And I lay in tears in bed all night/ Alone without you by my side."

The tale depicted in the song was an old one, of a pair of sweethearts torn apart by the Hunger Games. A betrothed pair that never got to marry because the boy had been slain. While she and Cana hadn't been in a romantic relationship at all, Maize missed him constantly. She couldn't see Ollie playing with her brother without seeing Cana's face overlap his younger brother's. Climbing the trees in the orchard reminded her of Cana. The stars at night reminded her of him.

Home reminded her of him.

Sometimes the younger boy's last painful moments on earth cut her deeply and stole the breath from her lungs. The way his eyes had stared unseeingly and blank. Sometimes she couldn't help but feel that he'd left her behind.

"But if you loved me/ Why'd you leave?/ Take my body/ Take my body..." the chorus came out in a pain-filled whisper. Maize rubbed the errant tears from her eyes and took a deep breath in before deciding another song may be easier to sing at the moment since she couldn't get the words out her lips without crying.

"I walked across an empty land/ I knew the pathway like the back of my hand/ I felt the earth beneath my feet/ Sat by the river, and it made me complete..." Maize's smile was full of nostalgia as she lightly swayed, "Oh, simple thing, where have you gone?/ I'm getting old, and I need something to rely on/ So tell me when you're gonna let me in/ I'm getting tired, and I need somewhere to begin..."

The sun had disappeared more than halfway on the horizon now, it's last golden rays barely kissing the earth. "I come across a fallen tree/ I felt the branches of it looking at me/ Is this the place we used to Love?/ Is this the place that I've been dreaming of?" Birch joined in as he sat down by her side.

"Oh, simple thing, where have you gone?/ I'm getting old, and I need something to rely on/ So tell me when you're gonna let me in/ I'm getting tired, and I need somewhere to begin..." the siblings harmonized together, smiles painting both of their expressions before Maize pulled Birch into a teasing hug as danced her fingers across his sensitive ribs.

"Stooop!" Birch laughed as she tickled his ribs one final time, "Mom says dinner's ready."

Maize smiled, "Well, then what are waiting for?" she asked as she stood up and hauled Birch up onto his feet, "Race ya!" she shouted as she sprinted for the house leaving her brother behind.

"That's not fair!" Birch shouted behind her, "Cheater!"

Her bō staff smacked harshly against Seeder's own as the force forced them apart. They'd been sparring for the last fifteen minutes and Maize was already starting to feel winded, though that could be blamed on all of the exercises she'd done before going to Seeder's home for a spar.

"Time!" Seeder called as she lowered her bō and downed a glass of water.

Maize stretched out her limbs and grabbed her own glass before wiping away the sweat from her face with the bottom of her shirt. Her mother was probably making lunch now and would send one of her younger siblings to fetch her for the afternoon meal soon. All of the constant meals had really improved her family's health. Her siblings no longer went to bed hungry some nights and were gaining the weight they needed to be youngest twins would never suffer from the effects of malnourishment, while Lilac and Hibis were already resembling the toddlers she remembered from her first life... all pudgy and carefree.

"I heard you singing last night."

"Oh?" Maize hummed somewhat embarrassed, "Sorry, was I too loud?"

Seeder shook her head, "No, but it got me thinking."

Maize eyed her Mentor curiously, "About what?"

"The Victory Tour."

She didn't even try to keep the distaste from her face, "Why?"

"Because," the woman sighed, "that can be your skill. Music."

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