- Translation for a single part of dialogue will be at the end of the chapter.
...you turn that engine over now it ain't runnin' so cold.
THREE DAYS LATER
Wade knew that what he was doing...what he was about to do, was a bad idea on so many levels and for so many reasons. The number one reason was that Peter would probably find out about it. Thing was, he felt like he needed to do it, like it was worth the risk. He just hoped Peter would forgive him, regardless of the outcome.
It was early evening, about thirty minutes away from night properly falling. The weather was pretty good and the day had been great and life hadn't been shitty at all recently, and presently Wade was headed to do something that would possibly fuck it all up.
All the same, fully dressed up in his suit and strapped with a mixture of gear, he was entering the suburban property of the person he'd come looking for. He'd been monitoring the place for the last hour, so he knew that they were home alone, and he knew exactly where they were on the property at that moment. So he didn't dawdle, just made his way directly around the side of the double story building to the side gate, which was fortunately unlocked. He knew the person he was looking for was in the backyard of their house right then, and not wanting to seem stalkery or predatory, he didn't move too quickly or quietly. Because he didn't want to startle her.
After all, May Parker wasn't a mark, she was the aunt of his beloved spidey-boo, and currently she was just casually taking in her dried laundry off the washing line at the end of a normal day. And he was just there to introduce himself in person, and hopefully have a quick and sincere talk before heading to patrol with Peter...
Yeah, it sounded like a dumb idea to him too, but he was still gonna' try!
Wade rounded the corner of the house and then backstepped twice when his eyes fell on May Parker. Her back was partially to him as she was unpegging some socks, barely glancing to see where she was dropping them into an almost full laundry basket on the grass beside her legs. Aside from the photo Peter had in his apartment, Wade hadn't ever seen her before, but he was getting a clear look at her right then. And in the loose white off shoulder blouse and high waisted jeans she was wearing, Wade had to admit that she was, well, she was hot . As in, a 100% MILF. Never mind Stacey's mom! Peter's aunt had it going on! Of course, he meant that in a very respectful way. And he intended to be entirely respectful when he talked to her, because he had a foolish hope that before he left her house, she'd be willing to at least tolerate him in future, or even just be willing to not openly despise him...
Fuck.
Wade couldn't ignore the strain of panic in his chest any longer, leaning his head back and making a tortured expression under his mask as he thought,
'What the fuck am I doing, this woman doesn't wanna' talk to the hideous murderer shmuck who's fucking her nephew! What the fuck am I gonna' say to auntie May!?' he went on to curse colourfully in his mind as he clenched and unclenched his fists. Then he glanced sideways and had to do a double-take when he realized May was almost done taking off the laundry, and for some reason he felt like once she went inside, he would lose his nerve. It'd already taken him five whole days to work up the nerve in the first place! He had to stop being a coward! He'd come all that wa- okay, it wasn't all that far actually, like fifteen minutes by cab, but that was not the point! The point was May was right there, and he'd come there because he felt he had to at least try to repair whatever mess he'd caused between her and Peter. With all the time they'd been spending together, he'd easily noticed that whenever Peter sent or received the 'required' messages for making sure everything was alright, the younger man always looked so down. And Wade knew that was because of him, so he had to try to fix it.
He just really hoped May would hear him out.
Swallowing tensely, Wade finally stepped out from behind the back corner of the house and started to walk across the backyard toward her. And by the time he slowed down to stop only a few feet away, he was surprised she still hadn't noticed him. He had to get her attention though, so he raised a hand and said,
"Hey ther-!"
"AAAAAAAAAAA!"
Oof! She had some lungs on her! And her scream, short though it was, stunned him enough that he didn't even block his face from the full laundry basket that she tossed at his head. He stumbled a bit when it hit him, even as he was saying,
"Ow! Hey, wait, wait!"
It was only two seconds of the basket hitting him and dropping to the ground, but when he looked again, May had already run off and he saw her disappear into a small shed against the back fence of the yard. Thinking it'd be awkward if he had to bail because she called the stupid cops or something, he moved to follow her, stepping on some of her laundry accidently in his haste, which left him cursing again and belatedly side stepping some other pieces of strewn clothing.
When he was a few feet from the shed door and was belatedly pulling off a large white undershirt that had landed on his shoulder, he started to say,
"Uh, hey, I didn't mean to-" but he screeched, "AAIIIEE!" because May literally came charging out of the shed wielding a fucking shovel, yelling,
"Back off asshole!" and swinging at him, full force!
Unlike the laundry basket though, Wade ducked and moved back a few steps, raising both hands in surrender as he loudly said,
"Woah! Relax! I come in peace!" feeling impressed by how solid her swing was! And in booted heels too! The follow through of the swinging shovel barely unbalanced her before she was bringing it back around to swing again,
"Peace my ass! Get the fuck away from me or I'll start screaming!" she swung again, and as Wade ducked again, he felt stunned at the mouth on her. Although he kind of suspected it was circumstantial profanity, like how Peter would curse during se-, "Don't think I'm scared of you because you have a bunch of weapons!" she swung and swung and he kept ducking and back and side stepping, and then on the fourth swing, he ducked a final time before easily grabbing the bar of the shovel, halting her momentum abruptly. Unfortunately, it pulled her totally off balance in the process, and as he was saying,
"Hey, Miss May, just wait a second!" he reached to grab her upper arm in order to steady her before she could fall over, while tossing the shovel aside somewhere.
But the second she oriented herself in his grip, she shinned him in the crotch.
Wade let go of her to grab his crotch with both hands as he bent over, groaning and cursing at the brief but very painful twinge it caused in his nethers. May had nearly stumbled backwards, but she managed to right herself with determination and she was remorseless and ruthless! He watched with masked eyes widening as she lifted her booted foot to kick him and he reacted by dropping to his knees, holding his hands up in front of him dramatically and shouting,
"Parlay! Parlay!" and it worked!
She stopped with her foot raised, balance faltering slightly and ponytail swinging as she said,
"Par-what!?" sounding confused, but she dropped her foot, even as her small hands were in tight fists, "Did you call me Miss May!?"
"Yes! Miss May! I said Miss May! Lady May! Madam May, Auntie Ma-"
"Listen Jackass Sparrow!" she snapped, and he shut his mouth under the mask, but he totally loved her comeback and he regretted that he couldn't comment on it! She was feisty and he could tell where Peter got his polite yet smartass attitude fro-, "You want to parlay, then start talking and tell me who the hell you are and why you were creeping up on me!?" she demanded, her small shoulders rising and falling as she glared at him through her weirdly sexy nerd size spectacles.
And of course he said the wrong thing with his stupid mouth,
"Okay, okay, I'll talk, just please don't try to beat me up anymore, you're confusing my libido!"
"WHAT!?"
"I'M JOKING! I'M JUST JOKING!" he kept his hands up in defense, only briefly flailing them and then he rattled off, "FUCK, FUCK, I'M SORRY! Fuck, I'm a moron, okay, I'm sorry, I have a really inappropriate sense of humor but I swear I wasn't trying to creep up on you or hurt you, or to be a creep at all, I'm sorry auntie May! I'm just here to talk to you, I would never hurt you! I swear! Never-"
"Who the hell even are you! And why do you have so many guns!?"
So many? Only two were visible! And he was carrying, like, five less than usual! And more importantly,
"They're rubber bullet pistols!"
"Rubb-," she sounded out of breath, "and on your back, what are those!?"
She was pointing above one of his shoulders, at where one of two handgrips were sticking out of the dual holster he was wearing in place of his usual sword scabbard,
"They're stun batons!"
"And on your thigh!?"
He looked to his thigh holster, and okay, well,
"Yeeeeah, that's a tactical knife but-"
"Just tell me who the hell you are!"
"I'm Wade!" he looked up at her with as much of a helpless expression as he could manage in a mask, hands still raised in surrender.
" Wade ?" she breathed out like the name confused her, then she said it again, " Wade ." like it made her angry to say it, then the third time she narrowed her eyes and huffed out, "Peter's Wade?" and Wade just nodded very many times,
"Yes, yep, Peter's Wade, right here. Totally harmless to you, wouldn't hurt a single hair on your-"
"Harmless to me !? Oh right, because you're a god damn merc-"
"Wait, no no, that came out wrong!" he started to defend himself, then realized he really couldn't, because he was far from harmless when it came to most other people. He made a skeptical face, mostly to himself, "I mean, uh-"
Maty made a frustrated angry sound and took a few steps back, glancing around as she put her hands on her hips,
"Oh my God, what," she took in a breath and then let it out in a loud huff, "Jus-, just why are you here? Where's Peter?" she glanced around and then looked at him, face all strict and scary, "Does Peter know you're here?"
Wade slowly moved to stand up then, and her eyes were fixed on him, tracking his every move, so he kept his hands held up where she could see them as he shook his head,
"N-no, he doesn't, I came here to see you myself, hoping to talk to yo-"
"Talk to me about wha-," her whole face changed, "oh my God, is Peter okay, is he-"
"Yeah, no, no, Peter's aces, he's totally fine, I swear!" he reassured quickly. she paused after he said that, and he could tell she was letting his reassurance sink in, but then very quickly, she went right back to looking angry,
"Then wha-," she cut herself off that time, glancing off past him across the yard, and then she looked even more annoyed when she looked at him again. But she seemed to take in a calming breath, and with her hands still on her hips she instructed, "We're going to go inside the house to talk about whatever you want to talk about," and Wade, having glanced over his shoulder to see a neighbour peeking at them through a window, just nodded at her obediently, "but you are not stepping in my house with any of that." she gestured quite emphatically with a hand to his over all body, but he knew she meant his weapons, "Leave it all outside by the door." she said very firmly, her hand moving to stiffly point at the back door. He nodded again, and only after giving him one more glare, and huffing another angry breath, did she turn and walk toward the house.
Feeling nervous, but no longer totally hopeless, Wade followed her, and as he approached the house, he started to unclip his baton holster, while making a mental note to pay that nosy neighbour a discreet visit after he left May's house.
When he stepped inside the house, after having left all his weapons outside as instructed, including the ones May hadn't known he had on him, and even his grappling hook gun, he found her standing in the kitchen of the house with her arms crossed over her chest where she was rigidly leaning against a counter, glaring at him.
She looked really annoyed, her mouth in a tense line and gaze very disapproving. Wade made sure he was careful to close her backdoor gently and nicely, as well as making sure to stand right by it, not wanting to intrude in her house any more than he already was. In going there, he hadn't even intended to go inside the house at all. But showing up like he had left May having to deal with him in the best way she could, i.e. 'inviting' him inside to avoid neighbours staring at the suit clad weirdo in her backyard.
But even though she was so angry at him, he still didn't regret being there, especially after the night before, when Peter had finally told him that he hadn't had lunch or dinner with May, or even seen her in weeks, and while Peter hadn't plainly said why, Wade knew it was because they'd argued about Peter dating him . And how could he choose not to try to make it right? He had to-
"You said Peter doesn't know you're here? Why are you here?" she asked abruptly, but even though her tone was no nonsense, she also seemed relatively calm, and Wade, standing equally rigid with his hands together and folded in front of him, tried to keep his answer simple, for both of their sakes,
"Yeah, he doesn't. I chose to come here because I just wanted to say that, I, that..." ah shit, he was so fucking bad at this crap, "uh, I mean, I know you're not happy about Peter and me, being together because of-"
"Because you're a mercenary." she cut him off, "A criminal. A contract killer ." and she wasn't yelling, but her tone was harsh and she looked angry and hurt and stressed and Wade could only imagine how emotionally taxing this probably was for her, and even though Peter tried to hide it, the younger super was also stre- "There is nothing, nothing , you can say to make me accept a cold blooded killer into Peter's life," ouch, "it doesn't matter who you kill or whether you think they deserve it, I can't accept it. I love Peter and I will never abandon him, but I won't pretend to be okay with him being with you." she said very stoically and seriously, giving him a brief, cold once over, and Wade could only blink, before taking in a tense breath.
He'd expected that, more or less.
Still, he intended to do what he could to make it a little better,
"I get that." he started and she narrowed her eyes at him as if those three words were offensive. She actually looked quite intimidating too, especially as she unfolded her arms to put her hands on the counter edge, gripping it tightly. Wade remained standing still as he quietly cleared his throat, before shaking his head, "I mean it, I really get it. I know you don't think I'm good enough for him, or even a good enough human being because of what I've done, and I agree one hundred fucking percent." her eyes narrowed even more, "I am definitely not good enough for him. Not even close." and then he got caught up rambling as he tended to do, "He's so out of my league it's like we're playing different sports in different parts of the multiverse, and it's seriously not even funny, I can't believe he can even stand to look at my horror show face. Let alone actually let me kiss him or touch-um..." he managed an awkward laugh when he saw her blink and briefly glance away at his last sentence. He'd stopped before he could get inappropriately off track at least, and then he took a moment to mentally regroup, shifting on his feet and clenching his hands into fists.
May just frowned at him, but she appeared more contemplative than glarey by the time he took in a breath and continued,
"But, yeah, for some crazy, fucked up reason, he likes me, like, he really does, he wants to be with me and I even tried to stay away from him, like a total asshole, thinking it was better if I wasn't in his life but it was selfish, and I kept messing up and acting like a giant bag of dicks, doing stupid shit while he was just patiently waiting for me to get my head out of my ass and in the end I was too fucking weak to walk away from him for good." he sucked in a rush of breath, "Maybe if I'd stayed away from him longer, until he hated my stupid ass enough to move on and forget about me, but I didn't, I couldn't stay away and instead I went and fell ass over face in love with him and now the idea of leaving him makes me want to kill fucking everyt-uh, uuuuh," fuck, fuck, May's expression was starting to look tense and glarey again, "I mean, I just mean to say, I absolutely can't do it!" he quickly covered, "I can't leave him, I don't want to not be with him, ever, at all. I just want to make him stupidly fucking happy, and do whatever the fuck it takes to make him smile all the fucking time. And I don't want to fuck up or make him sad and, and," right, right, okay, his thoughts were falling into place and so finally all of his babbling was finding its way to the point,
"And you, Miss May," she cocked an eyebrow, "you're so, sooooo, super fucking important to him, and I know that right now me being in his life is putting strain on your relationship with him, so I wanted to come here and tell that I know I can't do fuck all to erase the colossal ass fuck ton of bad shit I've done in my past," May blinked, expression getting a little pinched as he shifted to recross her arms, "but I can try to not be a piece of shit fuck up in the future. I can do things differently. My past will still be my past, but going forward, I'm gonna' clean up my fucking ac-"
"Okay, stop." she said abruptly, raising a hand, "Just stop, stop for a second." and he snapped his mouth shut, swallowing tensely and watching as she closed her eyes, inhaling slowly as if to center herself. After letting out her breath, she opened her eyes again and looked at him with a serious and level gaze, "Firstly, let's dial back the cuss words by, like, one hundred percent." she said with a look of expectation, and he agreed quickly, nodding and saying,
"Yeah, of course, so I'm just gonna' never swear around you ever again." and she nodded as well.
They both just nodded for a moment until eventually they stopped and after she took in another breath, May stood off the counter and put her hands on her hips,
"Okay," she frowned a bit, looking like maybe she was trying to get her thoughts in order after all his rambling, "you say, that going forward you're going to clean up your act, right?" he nodded immediately again, and he totally expected it when she asked, "How?"
"Right, yeah." he was ready to answer that question! "So, you know SHIELD, right?" and she narrowed her eyes again, but she nodded, "Right, SHIELD has wanted to recruit me for a coupla' years already, but I never gave a fuh-huh-fudge, before," her eyes remained narrowed, "because I, uh, I never had a reason to join em'. Nothing ever seemed worth the effort to change. I mean, I tried, I tried the hero gig for a brief time, but I wasn't motivated, I didn't care to really make it work. Didn't care about anyone else, or about myself." ugh, saying such honest shit was giving him indigestion, but May asking questions and listening to his answers was a good thing, so he had to keep talking, "But now, because of Peter, because I fu-ah, shit, I mean, not shit, sorry, I mean," May sighed and shook her head, "I mean, I mean, I would do anything for him!" he said that last past a bit loudly, feeling desperate to stop fucking up the chance she was giving him to explain, "And that's not me being dramatic. Seriously." he managed a tense, mirthless laugh, "I'm on the very literal side of extremes when it comes to saying I would die or kill for someone I care about, and I know that sounds bad but I really, really mean it. For Peter, I would do anything, to make him happy, to protect him," fuck, he needed to wrap this shit up because May's expression had become unreadable and he was starting to feel super anxious, "and I know I have made a terrible, horrible, just awful first impression on you Miss May, but all I really wanted to say was that I love Peter Parker and I'm going to do everything and anything I can to be even just slightly good enough for him." he made himself shut up then, closing his mouth and clenching his jaw.
Fucking dildos on spears, using words to say things shouldn't be so hard!
And when there was silence for several, long, excruciating seconds, Wade just felt more and more anxious, thinking he should probably just excuse himself and leave the woman alone.
But before he could say or do anything to that end, May sighed, yet again, and then she asked,
"Is it really that simple, for you to just, I dunno', leave, or retire or whatever, from your line of work?" and when they looked at one another again, Wade was surprised to find the only expression on her face right then was concern, "Isn't it dangerous, won't someone send people to 'take you out'," she made air quotes, "or something?"
Wade blinked his white mask eyes at her, feeling amused despite himself,
"Uh, no, no, I don't work for anyone," he admitted, "and even if I did, my retirement situation is less The Bride and more like John Wick."
May narrowed one eye at him, and then surprised him by saying,
"I feel like you're bragging by comparing yourself to John Wick." and, okay, yeah, maybe a little. Actually, maybe it was an exaggeration? Because John Wick didn't have his healing factor or any powers but he was still such a badass-, "Also, I know John Wick went back to killing people, a lot of people. For revenge." she sounded unimpressed. And actually, shit, so did Beatri-, "And so did The Bride." Damn she was good. She was so cool. Wade soooo liked her. Peter's aunt was great! He suddenly really wished she could like him too, even just a little.
But if he wanted that to ever happen, he had to focus on defending himself, so he said,
"I don't have a dog, or a baby, though, so..." he raised and spread his hands, palms up.
"But you have Peter." she said pointedly, tone firm and knowing, and harsh. She was testing him.
Not fair though!
"If someone killed Peter, would you really be mad if I went after em'?" he tested her right back, knowing he sounded angry at just the thought of someone doing anything to Peter.
Without missing a beat, she hit back,
"Are a bunch of trained killers going to try to kill him because of you ? Because his life is already way too damn dangerous and he doesn't need to have to clean up your bloody, criminal messes." and oof, double ouch, that was above and below the belt. She wasn't pulling her punches.
But still, no one could hurt Wade quite like himself,
"No, you don't have to worry about that. I promise you that I'm really, really not that important to literally anyone. No one gives a shit about me or what I do. And no one will give a flying fuh-uh-jita that I'll be out of the business." in fact, the merc community would be glad to be rid of him. It would mean more work for them, as well as never having to deal with his bullshit, which occasionally put them on the unfun ends of his weapons.
Silence predictably fell after he dealt that blow to himself and May's expression became unreadable again as she regarded him from across the gradually darkening kitchen.
After another long minute, she asked,
"When do you start working for SHIELD?"
Wade was surprised by her asking that question, and it caused a small feeling of hope to bloom in his chest. He didn't talk any shit when he answered,
"I took a meeting with them yesterday, while Peter was at university. A contract has been discussed, terms negotiated and agreed on," and boy oh boy had that been a super boring two hours of talking and trying not to argue or threaten anyone at gunpoint, "and the agent they've assigned to me said everything's green lit, she'll just contact me when she has all the paper work finalized and drawn up."
"While Peter was at university." she repeated, then frowned, "He doesn't know you're doing this?"
"He knows I have the option of joining SHIELD," he clarified, and then informed her, "actually, he's the one who told me the option was still on the table, he said Sam Wilson told him about it."
"Sam Wilson? The new Captain America?" she cocked an eyebrow and Wade nodded. And then she took a moment in which she looked like she was realizing something before she asked, "Did Peter ask you to join SHIELD?"
And Wade wasn't sure his answer would make her upset or not, but he wanted to be honest,
"Uh, no, he just told me about it and said it was my choice."
She looked briefly annoyed then, clenching her jaw a few times before she sighed and moved to pull out a chair from the kitchen table. Wade watched her sit down and put an elbow on the table, rubbing a hand against her forehead as she spoke,
"Honestly, Peter could stand to be a little more selfish." she mumbled. Wade heard her though, and he knew she meant that Peter should have tried to persuade, or even insisted , that he give up the merc life, instead of just leaving it up to him. But Peter wasn't like that.
"Yeah, he's too good like that." she nodded, staring at the table, "But one day he might end up being less accepting and lenient." Wade commented somberly, having seen bad shit break down too many good people in his lifetime.
"Yeah," she snorted, but it was mirthless and she was shaking her head, mood seeming down, but she was no longer so tense, "but that wouldn't really be him anymore." she added, and Wade didn't say anything, but he agreed. Peter was who he was, "He's such a sweet boy," May managed a small smile, "or I guess, not a boy anymore, not for a long time already." she sniffed softly then, starting to get emotional, Wade watching as she took off her glasses to wipe at her eyes.
Wade glanced around for tissues, but all he spotted was a roll of paper towels on one of the kitchen counters, and since the atmosphere felt a little less like May hated his guts, he took the few steps required to grab the roll. He felt her eyes on him, but as he turned, her gaze shifted to look at the roll he was holding. He took a few more steps in her direction then, stopping just close enough to extend his hand and put the roll on the table within her reach, before stepping back again. She glanced at him when she reached to grab the roll, giving him a small nod as she pulled off one towel, using it to wipe carefully at her wet eyes.
Wade watched her for a moment, and seeing how upset she was made him want to make it totally clear that he knew where he stood, and that it wasn't about him, that he wasn't looking for acceptance. It was just about her and Peter having their old relationship back.
So he broke the silence, saying,
"I don't expect you to accept me. I know that's asking too much. I know what I am and what I've done, and I know how messed up it is." he held in a sigh, only shrugging stiffly when she glanced at him again while wiping lightly under her nose, "I just wanted you to know that I'm trying. And I guess, also, I'm hoping you and Peter can go back to however you were before I came along and fu-uh, messed it all up."
May sniffed again, and then she put her arms on her table, watching her hands as she folded the tissue closed,
"I know how strongly Peter feels about you, he told me." Wade felt his stomach get light at hearing that, even though May sounded so stressed, "I know he loves you and I didn't get it when he said it was complicated," she shook her head and looked up at him where he stood several feet away, "but after hearing that jumbled mess of an explanation you gave earlier, and considering what he'd told me about you, I get it now. It really is complicated." and she sounded like she felt the complication right down to her bones, her tone completely exasperated and strained. Wade wasn't sure what to say to that, so he just remained quiet, thinking less words were better, he'd clearly talked enough already. "I just want him to be happy and safe," she paused, made a 'you know' expression and then shrugged and added, "in so far as he can be safe, doing what he does. That's all I want." and Wade nodded, agreeing, "Before I knew you were a mercenary, I really thought you would be good for him." Wade froze at hearing that, because, whaaaat? "I could tell you made him happy," she tipped her head to the side, "in between whatever personal drama you two were having, he seemed very happy. And I also liked that you seemed to prioritize him taking care of himself. Peter would always forget to do simple things, like eating." she said, sounding worried again, "Even my texts to remind him and bringing food over for him didn't always work."
"You don't gotta' worry about that anymore." Wade reassured, "I'm a five-to-ten meals a day kinda' guy myself, and if I can't eat all the time, when I do, I eat a lot because of the whole mutate thing. And Peter's mutation runs his metabolism even faster than mine, so I make sure he eats enough whenever I can make sure he's eating. I know he's gotta' keep those calories loaded." he rattled off.
She was just watching him, and then she smiled just a leeeeetle bit!
"That's gonna' get expensive." and oh, it sounded like she was kinda' joking with him.
Wade met her tone with his own lighter one,
"Don't worry Miss May, I got bank. And after my negotiated contract with SHIELD, I'll continue to make money. I'm gonna' take care of Pete." and he meant it. He wasn't worried about money, because he'd managed to get a good wage out of S.H.I.E.L.D, but aside from that, he'd still be doing non-killing independent merc jobs on the side, as discussed with Emily Preston. He wouldn't be making as much as he was used to on single hits, but he'd be able to support himself and Peter, and still buy a lot of shit he wanted to-
"Stop calling me Miss May, okay? Seriously, May is fine." she said, tone a bit deadpan, and Wade had to hold back from gasping and squealing like a little girl because Auntie May was okay with being on a first name basis! That was progress! It was difficult not to celebrate right there and then, but he managed to just calmly incline his head in response. After another beat of silence, she asked, "He's been staying at your place for the last week, right?"
Well, just short of that,
"Uh, he went home yesterday, so yeah, more or less."
"Where do you live."
"Midtown Manhattan." for the foreseeable future.
"And you two are properly together now? You're not gonna' mess around on him?"
"One hundred percent yes, and hell no. I'd cut my own dick off first." oops, not supposed to curs-,
"Good, because Peter's never been the type to mess around, he's too sincere for that sort of thing."
And yeah, Wade knew that. Just so happens he was the kind of dumbass who went all in too, all cards on the table, heart dripping and bloody all over his sleeve. And once he was in a relationship, he never stepped out. Never had, never would.
"You don't gotta' worry about that either. I'm a lot of things, but a cheater ain't one of em'."
May lowered her gaze then, and she looked like she was about to say something when she stopped herself and looked at him again, her gaze more focused, and there was a small frown between her brows. She picked her glasses up off the table then, putting them on her face as she said,
"Would you put the light on please, Wade." so firmly, but politely, which had Wade doing a double take to the light switch near the door before he muttered 'yeah, of course' and then he took a few steps to hit the switch.
The light came on instantly and he turned around again, to find May standing up and a few steps closer to him, her eyes focused on him steadily enough that he started to feel anxious again,
"Uh?"
"I'm glad you're making this change, Wade, and I think I may be able to accept it after some time, when I've seen that you're serious, once I've seen that you're actually doing it."
"Yeah, sure, that, uh, that's totally fair." he nodded.
"And of course, I want things between Peter and I to go back to normal, I miss him. He's like my son." she sounded like she wanted to cry, "I was hurt knowing he was in love with someone, who," she took in a breath, her shoulders rising and falling, "who the idea of him being with, really scared me, and I'd been going crazy these last few weeks, trying to force myself into a place where I could maybe accept it, accept you and him. But I just couldn't do it, and it's been so difficult," she nodded, "but this, this makes it easier, makes it a real possibility for me to accept you in his life."
Wade just nodded, feeling a small lump form in his throat, as well as some dread forming in his chest, because for some reason it felt like the conversation was going to go somewhere he-
"But I still don't actually know you." Wade tilted his head to the side slowly, feeling tension creeping in to his muscles, feeling cautious and wary, "So why don't you take that mask off and introduce yourself properly." she said finally, her tone very serious and...and fuck. Fuck shit, fucking balls on shit on fuck, he'd known she was going to say something he didn't like, but that ? That- "Peter's already told me about your skin, so you don't have to worry about that, I'm not going to be shocked or anything." Pffft, yeah sure, of course, as if hearing that made it any easier, "I just want to properly meet the man who ran my nephew through an emotional wringer for weeks, and who is sleeping with him, probably on the daily ," on the dai-say what? Where'd she learn to word it like that? And shit, his face must have revealed something, because she nodded, saying, "Yeah, I know what it's like to be a new couple, it's all crazy hormones and being unable to keep your hands off each other." what the? Was he...was he blushing? Why did his face feel so hot? "And since he stayed at your apartment all week, it's not hard to guess. So, all things considered, I think an introduction is long overdue, don't you?" she gave him an expectant look.
Wade stared at the five foot five, petite woman standing before him, who was somehow managing to intimidate him on some weirdly paternal level by just looking at him, and she'd just made him blush! He hadn't blushed, like, blushed out of bashfulness, in for-fucking ever! But auntie May had just called him out for doing the do with her nephew on the daily and he felt scandalized! Also, she wasn't even wrong! He and Peter had had sex literally every day that week, more than once each day most times! On top of that, the mentioning of the emotional wringer thing got him right in the guilty feels, and that was why, when she cocked an eyebrow at him, without overthinking it, he just reached up to grab the top of his mask, getting a good grip on it before he pulled it off in one go, his eyes meeting hers directly.
They stared at each other then, for a few long seconds before she said,
"I'm waiting for you to introduce yourself." crossing her arms over her chest.
"Uh, uh, yeah, uh," okay, he needed his mouth to start forming words, "I'm, uh, Wade. Wade Wilson. Wade Winston Wilson."
"Are you serious with that alliteration?"
"Yep."
"Okay, Wade Winston Wilson, are you from New York?"
"Nope. I'm actually Canadian originally."
"Oh, okay, and do you have any family Peter and I should meet."
"Nope, none."
"Oh."
Yeah. Oh.
Wade blinked when she looked away, and when his eyes burned he realized it was his first blink since taking off his mask. He blinked a few more times and then stopped when she looked at him again,
"Okay, well. Thank you for being honest, and for being willing to try to change." she sounded sincere and Wade just kept his mouth shut, feeling very exposed without his mask, and very confused about why she was thanking him. "I guess we'll see how things go with you and Peter, this whole thing has been such a mess, but I believe," she paused and Wade was surprised to see a hint of softness in her gaze when she looked up at him again, nodding, "I believe that you two really do love each other. Your speech earlier was a mess and there was far too much cursing, but it didn't lack sincerity." even though she said that, she looked at him with brief but intense scrutiny, as if she were double checking her decision, "So I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt, because I think that, despite the mercenary thing, Peter wouldn't be with you if you were a bad person." Wade could only keep staring at her, half disbelieving what he was hearing. And the feeling of wanting to cry didn't manifest outwardly, but he felt it in his chest, along with some guilt, because she was wrong, just like Peter was wrong; he was such a fucking bad person...wasn't he? He'd done so much fucked up shit and he didn't feel remorse about any of-,
"But no more killing people." May stated more loudly and pointed a finger up at him, and then she shook her head and dropped her hand to slap her thigh, "or, I guess, no illegal killing. I'm not naïve enough to believe SHIELD agents never kill anyone." and she sounded miffed, but she was fucking rad, because she understood how the world worked! "But no killing people just for money!" her pointed finger was back again as she looked at him seriously through her big nerd glasses, "Peter will be trusting you, and I want to trust you too because my nephew loves you."
There was silence for a moment, before Wade realized she was waiting for him to talk. And it was difficult to focus without his mask on, he hadn't expected to have to take it off, but even so, he forced himself to speak more than a one word answer,
"I fucking swe-, I mean, I swear. Fuck." not that more words were any better. Wade clenched his eyes shut briefly, trying to focus, but his mind was distracted by the abrupt unmasking, and he felt so anxious and he kind of wanted to laugh, but it was not an appropriate time to laugh, especially since it'd probably come out sounding a little hysterical if he did. And he was just about to start worrying about the follow up impression he was making on May, when she rolled her eyes at him, which reduced a lot of the anxiousness building in his chest.
"Your language is out of control." she said, and he relaxed a little more, because she sounded exasperated but amused , not angry! He still didn't have his filter under control though, because he said,
"I know, I'm so fucking sorry." fuck! He made a noise of frustration.
"Okay, okay, yeah, just, you just work on that." she waved a hand at him before rubbing her forehead.
"Absolutely." he whispered and pursed his lips.
"And also, don't," oh God, why did she sound and look so emotional all of sudden! "don't hurt yourself okay." what the fuuuuuuck, Wade was so confused, "Peter mentioned you can be self destructive," ooooh, "but he wants to be there for you, so let him, let him be there for you. When you need someone, you know." and she sounded sad, but also like she was warning him.
And not so long ago, Wade might have been pissed to be told that way, how to handle something so personal and difficult for him. But since knowing Peter, and knowing that his personality, who he was, was more than likely influenced by none other than May Parker, Wade just knew she didn't mean it in any other way than to help, because her concern was real. So he swallowed down the reactionary anger that had twinged inside him, and then felt it completely disappear when she added,
"I know it's not my place to even mention it, and I don't want to overstep, but I was worried about you after that day, at Peter's apartment. He was really worried for too, and he couldn't contact you." and she sounded regretful and sad and Wade felt like shit all over again. But he didn't say anything, just shook his head and met her eyes briefly, hoping to convey his apology that way, and it seemed to be enough for them to reach some sort of understanding of acknowledging it and letting it go. And he hadn't realized he was being so obvious and clenching both his fists so tightly in his mask, until May looked down at his hands and said,
"You can put on your mask a...gain..." he was already pulling it on by the time he heard 'can put on', and May sighed, "I hope you'll feel comfortable without it eventually," Wade gave her a masked worried-confused look as he tucked the hem of the mask into the neckline of his suit with practiced ease, "If you're going to be in Peter's life, you're going to be coming around for lunches and dinners sometimes, and there are no masks allowed at my dinner table."
At hearing that, Wade felt both terrified and elated, and did he mention terrified? But he did what came naturally to him and dropped a joke,
"Alright, I'm gonna' have to start moisturizing more often and get some more beauty sleep." and it was worth it because May snorted! And she shook her head and did an eyeroll thing so similar to Peter!
"You're a funny guy, huh?" she was still sniffing a bit, "With, what did you call it? An inappropriate sense of humor?"
Wade laughed a little awkwardly when he recalled what he'd said to her out in the yard,
"Yeah, about what I said, I was joking," he narrowed one eye and tilted his head, "you were just so feisty and mouthy and you're pretty damn fine too and I can totally see how it's in the family."
He'd been aiming for a compliment, but May looked very unimpressed, albeit vaguely amused, when she said,
"I'm guessing you don't know that Peter and I aren't related, literally at all." Oh, well, that was...wait, what?
"Really?" he tilted his head the other way.
"Really." she nodded once, "I was married to his uncle, his father's brother."
"Heh, that's..." shit, he had noth-, oh wait, "Nature versus nurture?" another awkward laugh.
May just stared at him with a small smile and a considering look, followed by a deadpan blink,
"I get why Peter likes you."
"You do?" really? Cause Wade was still lost as fuck on that subject.
"Yeah." she smiled a bit more softly then, lips quirking to the side as she nodded, "You're a wear-your-heart-on-your-sleeve type of person, and Peter..." a fond smile, "he's the same." and yeah, Wade had noticed, Peter was really earnest and straightforward about his feelings, about what he wanted between them. Thinking of that made Wade glad he had the mask back on, because whatever face he was making right then was probably way too vulnerab-, "When are you going to tell him about SHIELD?"
Wade registered the question and then he was glancing around, away from May, to look for the clock he'd noticed on the wall earlier, before he looked back to May, saying,
"Uh, tonight, later tonight, probably after we're done with patrol." because that had been his plan, he'd just been waiting for Emily Preston to let him know his contract specifications were accepted and were going to be finalized on paper, which she'd done a few hours earlier, and so it was all systems go.
He was going to be contracted to S.H.I.E.L.D. Legally employed. No longer a freelance criminal...
"-ol? You're doing patrol with him?" May was asking, and she sounded pleased to hear it.
Wade nodded,
"Yeah, it's recent, but I help him out some nights. Hope to make it a more regular thing." and he was having a tough time keeping pace with Peter with his grappling hook, especially when Peter rushed off for something serious. But Wade knew after a few more weeks, maybe a month, he'd have finessed that shit. He was good like that.
"That's, wow, that's really great to hear," she smiled and she sounded relieved and pleased, "it's great that he has you to help him out with that." Wade smiled under his mask, he was happy to help Spidey out, "That's why you're using rubber bullets and stun batons, huh? Nice." she sounded so approving!
Wade chose to not tell her that he also carried a concealed pistol with real bullets during patrol, or that he'd almost beaten a perp unconscious the night before, with only his fist. The asshole had shot some weird acid shit at Peter, who'd dodged it because of his spider-sense, but some of the wide spray had landed on the edge of one of Peter's boots and while it hadn't made it through the reinforced material to burn him, it had earned the fucker a beat down from Wade. Peter had stopped him before he'd done too much damage to the guy's face, and yeah, the younger super had been mad at him, but not too mad. Wade had apologized and apologized some more, and cuddled and kissed his way to being forgiven, although Peter had threatened to bench him from patrol if he lost his temper again.
Peter was so cute when he was angry, and hot too...
Thinking of Peter had him feeling impatiently eager to see his Baby Boy, and the time on the kitchen wall clock meant he had a little over 30 minutes to make it to their meeting spot on top of NYPL, but he still needed to pop in and have a 'talk' with the nosy neighbour.
Not wanting to keep bae waiting, he said,
"I should actually get going, I don't want to be late to meet him."
They'd chosen the NYPL building because it was an easy starter building for Wade to scale with his grappling hooks. Also, visibility from the ground was low and despite all the taller building's surrounding the library, the roof layout had some good blind spots that were nice and shady and dark at night for when they-
"Yeah, sure, go, go, don't keep Peter waiting." May said, her tone and demeanor no longer hostile, rather she sounded a bit tired, but also encouraging. She ushered him to the door, which he pulled open and walked out through ahead of her just when she said, "And take care of him, okay. He can be really reckless and stupidly self-sacrificing." she sighed out, following him as he walked outside.
He stepped aside to gather his things, saying
"Yeah, I know. I've been getting those vibes on our last few patrols." he admitted as he picked up and begun reequipping his weapons, thinking of how Peter really did get hurt a lot because he was trying not to hurt the bad guys! It made it so difficult for Wade not to just shoot every criminal!
May had walked out into the yard toward the washing line, an automatic sensor light switching on and lighting up the entire area,
"Yeah, he's a really good guy, but sometimes it's to a fault." she'd walked to where the washing was still lying out in the yard and Wade felt bad watching her start to pick up the clothes and throw them back into the basket, no doubt she was going to have to rewash them.
"I'll keep an eye on him," he said absently as he slipped the last of his gear, the knife, back into his thigh holster and then he walked nearer to her, asking, "hey, uh, you need a hand with that? Kinda' my fault." he said sheepishly.
May shot him a dry look as she dusted grass off a pair of pants,
"It was your fault, not kinda'." she said plainly and Wade's shoulders sagged, but then she shooed him, "Don't worry about it, helping Peter is more important than me redoing some laundry. Go on." she waved a hand and Wade just nodded and started walking backwards, feeling fond of her already and unable to help saying,
"I'm gonna' get you a really big gift basket Miss May! I'm gonna' customize it! It'll be such a surprise!" he said just a tad girlishly, wanting to do a twirl.
May just gave him another dry look as she tossed more washing into the basket, but Wade didn't miss the fact that she was smiling just a little, before he turned and quite literally skipped around the corner and out of the yard.
Wade barely made it to meet Peter on time. He was six minutes over their agreed time when he was climbing his way onto the library's roof. He was glad he wasn't any later though, because he didn't want to have make up an excuse for being late, especially since he'd already decided he wasn't going to tell Peter where he'd gone. He figured he'd let auntie May be the one to tell Peter, and then he'd deal with whether or not Peter felt he'd crossed a line. You know, classic avoidance behaviour.
Presently, as he hefted himself over the ledge, he spotted Peter, who turned to face him immediately, the younger super's mask lenses making the usual soft 'zzt' sound when he smiled, the tech shifting with the crinkling of his eyes under his mask. Wade felt a swell of happiness in his chest at just seeing him again, which was a scarily intense feeling, but not unwelcome.
As they approached each other, Wade said,
"Sorry, I was almost late, but almost doesn't count." smiling under his mask.
Peter, the angel that he was, just shrugged and said,
"It's okay, I know it's not easy for you to get around fast." Peter put his hands on his sexy hips when they stopped a professional two feet apart, even though it physically pained Wade that he couldn't pull that tight body all up against his ow-, "Not everyone can be like Spider-Man." the little shit teased, successfully derailing Wade's dirty thoughts.
"Oh, hohoho." Wade exaggerated his chuckle, "How humble of you to say, great Spider-Man." and he was aiming for jokingly sarcastic, but honestly, he was totally fucking smitten with Peter's sweet, sexy sass and it came across clear in his voice. He heard it. Peter heard it. The pigeon that was cooing somewhere on the rooftop heard it.
Peter huffed a small laugh, and then, like the adorably awkward nerd he could sometimes be, he dropped his arms and swung them once before putting them loosely across his chest and asking,
"You wanna' get going?" but his tone gave the Wade the impression that there was time to dilly dally, so he asked,
"Spidey sense going off?" and Peter shook his head just once, side to side, "Phone radio scanner?" and he shook his head again, mask lenses opening innocently wide and Wade could tell they were thinking the same thing when he asked, "Wanna' make out for a while first?"
Peter hummed and took a step forward as he reached out to grab the strap of the baton holster across his chest and then the younger super was pushing him backwards. They stepped and stepped, Peter steering them toward a dark corner, and when they were still moving but out of sight from both the lower and higher view points, Peter pushed his own mask up with his free hand, saying,
"You're a bad influence, you know that?" but his tone was pleased and his mask lenses narrowed slightly again to match his small smile.
Wade's back hit the wall just then, the breath lightly knocked out of him on the word,
"Sorry," then he was folding his mask up as well, adding, "not sorry." and Peter grinned, his beautiful smile on full display as he stood up on his toes to kiss him.
And yeah, Wade really wasn't sorry if his bad influence got him a make out session with Spider-Man on top of NYC's public library.
And they didn't break their week long sex streak either, because after patrol, once they went back to his place and Wade told Peter about his new contract with S.H.I.E.L.D, Peter was very , very happy, which made him very enthusiastic and passionate and even a leetle aggressive because of it, which, hot.
Wade hadn't known getting bitten by a spider could feel so naughty and so sexy!
SEVERAL DAYS LATER
It was a Saturday, late morning, and Peter was presently at Wade's place.
He was sitting on one of the new stools Wade had bought for the kitchen's eating counter, with some of his coursework material spread out around him, as well as a half-finished cup of coffee and an almost empty box of Twinkies, chewing on the back of his pen as he reread through his enzymology notes from the week's classes.
The loft was still in relative chaos around him, and everyday Wade was still unpacking and packing boxes, throwing things out and buying new stuff, but it was a work in progress at least. Like at that moment, Weasel was there with some movers, who he'd gotten from only Weasel knew where, to remove some of the really big stuff Wade didn't want to keep in the loft anymore; mostly the large weapons crates. Peter was glad the excess of weapons were not going to be around anymore, but he hadn't liked the look of the 'moving crew'. He'd been a little worried when Weasel had first shown up with them, but he wasn't getting any spider-sense pings from the shady looking crew, and they all seemed to know who Wade was, i.e.: Deadpool, and so they ultimately seemed quite afraid.
They'd been there for over an hour already, going in and out under Weasel and Wade's supervision, so Peter had chosen to trust that Wade trusted them, ignoring most of what was going on around him and just continuing to do what he was doing. Specifically though, he was trying to ignore Weasel's presence. As it was, they'd shared a stiff greeting earlier, so obvious that Wade had definitely noticed that neither of them seemed keen on being friendly with the other.
Peter assumed Wade would possibly ask him about it later, at which time he'd have to tell Wade about the brief and annoying call he'd had with his obnoxious 'friend' and former handler. Former. Peter smiled then, pursing his lips on his pen when he thought about the fact that Wade was no longer a contract killer! A few days earlier Wade had told him all about the details of his contract with S.H.I.E.L.D, and the older super had also been honest and had asked whether he'd mind if he still did merc jobs that didn't involve killing anyone. Peter had said he was fine with that, not wanting to take away all of Wade's freedom since he was already giving up so much, but he'd decided to use just a little of the 'power' Wade was giving him to decide, and he'd asked that Wade try to take jobs that also didn't require excessive violence. And Wade had been totally fine with that, and Peter had been so happy! And so relieved! He'd been as understanding as he could of Wade's killing morals, but the relief he'd felt at finding out Wade was giving up killing had been immense. Honestly, the last week or so had been the happiest he'd been in age-
"-not touching anything in this place." Weasel's bland voice carried over to him when the annoying man suddenly spoke louder, so loudly Peter could hear him from where he stood all the way over and on the other side of the living room area, "Knowing you, there's probably no surface the two of you haven't had sex on," one of the movers sounded like they dropped something, "in this place and I don't want to risk getting any of either of your bodily fluids on my hands."
Peter rolled his eyes...and then he frowned when he heard Weasel make a choked sound.
His spider-sense didn't trigger though, which meant that whatever Wade was doing to Weasel, it wasn't his intention to actually seriously hurt the jerk. Still Peter felt it was necessary to deescalate, so without turning around from where he was leaning over his textbook, he called out,
"Wade, you think we can get seafood for lunch?"
Wade immediately answered with,
"Fuck yeah, babe," the choking noise stopped, "I'll import the shrimp right from Thailand if you want." and Peter snorted softly at his textbook. His ears got a little warm though, because Wade knew he loved shrimp and he knew Wade would do it if he actually said yes.
Peter heard Weasel make a gagging noise then, which probably had nothing to do with whatever Wade was doing to him. He just kept smiling at his textbook when he replied,
"No, that's okay, I'm good with, like, any local restaurant that has quality seafood."
"Sure thing, Pete, I'll get Weas here," a hushed 'ouch' from Weasel, "to pick up our order."
Aha! Peter saw an opportunity for payback and took it, sitting up and turning around on the stool to look at Wade, who still had his arm hooked around Weasel's neck, the tall scraggly man bent over and scowling while Wade's mask eyes were wide and fake-innocent.
Peter didn't comment on it, nor did he let himself get too distracted by how Wade's biceps bulged through his black hoodie sleeves, instead he scrunched his face up and glanced at Weasel before saying,
"Maybe not, we have no idea where his hands have been."
"Oooohoho." Wade went on to laugh dramatically at Weasel, while said man exchanged a half smirking-sneer with Peter across the distance and said,
"Small but savage
Wade following up with,
"I know , heart-eyes motherfucker!" and he finally let go of Weasel to make a heart with his hands before fluttering out his fingers toward Peter, who flashed him a smile and then turned around again, feeling quite pleased with himself.
Peter's attention remained on listening to them as Wade went back to dealing with Weasel, demanding,
"The fuck are you waiting for? Get your phone out and find the best seafood place in Manhattan."
"Jesus Christ. Fine." Weasel responded grouchily, "Keep your frilly panties on- ow, dammit Wade!" while Peter got distracted wondering if Weasel was just using the expression, or whether he also knew about Wade's panty collection. Peter hadn't yet seen any frilly ones, but he never knew with Wade, and he had no idea what the man's odd entourage knew either.
When Weasel stopped grumbling about Wade being sadistic and whipped, he said,
"Even though I fucking hate you, I'm happy you found someone who can put up with your annoying ass." and his voice was getting distant, so Peter figured they were walking out of the loft, but he still managed to hear Weasel say, "Wilson, you lucky son of a bitch. Twice in one life time." and then he was chanting 'ow' quietly as Wade said,
"Aaaaw, thanks buddy." voice very faint...and then totally fading.
Peter was still smiling as he went right back to chewing on his pen, enjoying how content and amused and in love and settled he felt. He was really happy, being with Wade and being a part of Wade's life, being loved by Wade, emotionally and physically, and even the simpler, small things, like staying over at Wade's place so often, and letting Wade patrol with him, or spoil him with food, and even clothes, like the expensive Superdry jacket that he was wearing right then, it all made him happy and was all much easier than he'd thought it'd be for him to get used to. They'd certainly had their ups and downs, and Peter wasn't going to be an idiot and convince himself there wouldn't be other obstacles to face in future, bu-
'Gimme' your, gimme' your, gimme' your attention, baby!'
Peter's phone started ringing, and from the ringtone he'd set, he knew it was Wade calling. He frowned while smiling, glancing over his shoulder to the open sliding metal door of the loft as he reached across a pile of notes for his phone. He looked at it first, the caller ID photo he'd set of Wade filling the screen until he tapped his thumb on the answer button to pick up the call.
And he only just put the phone to his ear when Wade started talking,
"Baby, honey-buns, sweetums, sugar-fluff, sweet-Pete?"
Peter was grinning while tapping his lip with his pen, answering with a smiling and quiet,
"Yeah?" really hoping he could one day say 'baby' as easily as Wade.
"I found a real nice place, they even have octopus, you want octopus?"
Honestly, Peter wasn't sure, but he was a 'don't knock it til' you try it' kinda guy so,
"It's up to you, I'm good with whatever." he said, even though he knew Wade would say,
"We're definitely getting it." God, he was getting so spoiled! Peter started to blush then, because he knew he should feel more embarrassed about Wade spoiling him, but-, "And I'm gonna' get you plenty of desserts too, because I know you got a sweet tooth, honey." but he honestly really liked it. Still, his face got even hotter, Weasel's repeated gagging noise not helping.
He couldn't keep the pleased note out of his tone when he said,
"Thanks, Wade." no matter how quietly he spoke.
And he knew Wade loved making his blush worse, but apparently it even worked over the phone, because when he said,
"Amo amarte, Baby Boy." Peter's face became about as red as a tomato, especially since Wade's voice was both fond and suggestive and the speaking Spanish thing had kind of become something they did during sexy times. He almost hummed into the phone in response, but he managed to keep it in, biting his bottom lip hard as he moved the phone away from his ear to hang up, but not without hearing Weasel say something about his ears starting to bleed.
Peter dropped his pen then, rubbing at his hot face as he ended the call and smiling goofily to himself. And he was just about to put his phone back down on the counter when it started ringing again, a normal ringtone. He looked at the screen to see it was May calling...which in recent weeks, could be counted as unusual. For the last several weeks, their daily communication had been limited to texts, whether it was about his patrols, his health or his eating and sleeping habits. And then after she'd found out he was staying at Wade's, she'd texted even less, and her texts had become shorter, and Peter had assumed she was angrier. Now she was calling when there was no emergency?
Or was there!?
Suddenly worried, Peter quickly answered the call,
"May, are you okay? What's wrong?"
"Peter? Yeah, yes, I'm okay, why do you sound so worried? What happened?" and suddenly she sounded worried and Peter felt like an idiot and he shook his head, running a hand through his hair and letting out a sigh of relief through his nose,
"Nothing, sorry, sorry, nothing, everything's fine, just, uh, unexpected, didn't expect your call, sorry." he stopped himself from rambling, taking in a quick silent breath, before continuing more calmly, "Yeah, sorry about that, May. So, what's up? You okay?" which was essentially exactly what he'd asked before, except far more calmly and conversationally.
May made a relieved sounding sigh too,
"Gosh, Peter. We need to stop having such high strung openings to our phone calls."
"Tell me about it." Peter said, huffing a laugh of agreement.
May huffed a laugh too,
"Yeah, well, are you okay?"
"Oh yeah, no, I'm good." he smiled, and decided to be more forthcoming, "Actually I'm great. Things are great, you don't have to worry, May," then he stopped smiling, remembering that the reason he felt great was something May didn't agree with, "I mean, I know you're not so happy about, like, Wade and I being together, but I'm good, I promise."
"That's good Peter, I'm happy to hear that. I'm happy for you."
...and wow, okay, she actually sounded like she meant it. She sounded happy about it.
"Really?" he asked like an idiot, frowning.
" Of course, Peter, I want you to be happy, " right, yeah, of course she would, that was all it was, " how's patrol going? Staying safe?"
"As much as I can, yeah." he said quickly, and then he saw an opportunity to maybe give her a better impression of Wade, "Wade helps me out some nights, most nights these past two weeks actually, so that makes it easier."
"Oh? That's great." and weirdly, she didn't sound surprised, but she also didn't sound annoyed or upset either, "Does he help in a non-violent way?" and it was maybe an odd question, which kept him frowning, but then, Peter had told her what Wade did for a living up until recently, so maybe that's why she'd asked that. The answer was tricky though,
"Yeah, he, uh, he's, I mean, he tries." he said vaguely, not wanting to outright lie, "It's a work in progress." was the best he could manage to describe it. Because just the previous week, some guy had shot some sort of acid at him and Wade, who'd been singing Taylor Swift's, Look What You Made Me Do at the time, had beaten the guy really badly, while singing a very aggressive version of the chorus. It'd been funny, scary and ridiculous all at once.
So, yeah, a work in progress.
"Uh huh," May sounded...exasperated? Not angry? Not disappoin-, "But has he killed anyone?"
Peter blinked, frowning even more, the question of ' what' on the tip of his tongue, but instead he raised his eyebrows and shook his head,
"Uh, no, no, he's actually, like," he decided to tell May about S.H.I.E.L.D then, wondering if the news would work in Wade's favour, "he's actually giving up the contract, uh," he glanced around the empty loft, seeing no sign of Wade, Weasel or the moving guys, "he's giving up the contract killing. He's gonna' be working for SHIELD." and he wasn't sure what response to expect, but May's ensuing silence made him anxious.
It didn't last that long though, before she said,
" That is fantastic news, Peter. " and she sounded amused, and then she said, " Look, honey, sorry I can't talk long, I just called to tell you and Wade to come to dinner on Monday night if both of you are free, " wha- whaaaaaat? "a nd just tell him to remember what I said about that mask of his, okay? "
"Uuh..." …...
"Okay, text me to let me know if you'll be coming. I've gotta' go, busy. Love you, Pete."
"Uh, lov- uh, yeah, love you, May." he managed to dumbly say before she hung up.
Peter just sat with the phone to his ear for a while after, feeling totally nonplussed. Had she said...yeah, she'd said, tell him to remember...tell Wade to remember...what she'd said about his mask? She'd said it? To who? To Wade? So, that meant...did that mean, Wade and May had met? They'd met and they'd talked? And now May was calling about them coming to dinner? And she hadn't sounded upset, and she'd asked about Wade being non-violent?
Whathehell!
Peter was super, super, extra confused, and a little bothered by whatever the hell was going on, but like, not in a bad way, just bothered that he hadn't known whatever the hell happened, had even happened! He finally lowered the phone from his ear then, and with a brow hiked up and a frowny-smile forming on his face, he navigated into his call log and tapped on Wade's last call to him just minutes ago, calling the older super back.
From inside the loft, with some of the high windows open, he was able to hear the distant and faint sound of Wade's phone starting to ring somewhere outside the building. The music from the phone was tinny, but Peter could make out the familiar INXS song from so many months ago, from the night they'd had their first kiss. Just thinking of that had his frown smoothing out so he was just smiling.
He liked that Wade was using that ringto-
"Yes, love bug?"
Peter reeled in his smile quickly, and he had to try real hard to sound like he was upset when he said,
"May just called me."
"..."
His lips twitched to smile wider then, at Wade's silence, and he wondered if Wade was panicking,
"Did you go to see my aunt?" he managed to sound just barely more serious that time.
"..."
"Wade." and damn, it was so difficult to keep the smile out of his voice, "Did yo-"
"Okay, okay, yes, yes, I did," Wade broke, and Peter let himself smile then, even though he pursed his lips on it. And he was feeling confused, but also amused and happy because May's call and her invitation to dinner were good th-, " but before we get into that, baby, did I tell you today that I super fucking love you and that you have the greatest ass known to mankind in all the multiverse?"
A grossed out groan from Weasel followed that comment, and Peter, whose heart started to race in his chest as he was filled with feelings of fondness and giddiness and affection for Wade, just rolled his eyes and rubbed a hand over his face. And he was smiling from ear to ear, because Wade was so ridiculous, and Peter really, really loved him.
You make me less of a mess of a man.
Translation:
- I love loving you, Baby Boy.