Chapter 13: Running
(ALL NEW CHAPTER!)
Byakuya arrived at the meeting chambers of the Kuchiki elders with Ichigo a step behind and disturbed reiatsu burning warningly around him. He glared at the gathered members of the council, earning a look of surprise from his younger mate as he stormed to the head of the table and rounded on his dour-looking relatives. The Shiba heir felt a touch on his arm and let himself be guided to the nearby gallery by Byakuya's longtime attendant.
"Hey Torio," Ichigo greeted him, keeping curious eyes fixed on Byakuya, "Thanks."
"It's no problem," the green-eyed attendant assured him as the two sat down, "I think Byakuya-sama needs to focus on his work, so I will try to help you follow what happens from here."
Defying the normal ritual of opening the meeting, Byakuya waved off the head elder and glared at the others gathered around the meeting table.
"What is this I hear about this council taking action on my behalf while I was not here?" he demanded.
"Now Byakuya, you are aware this council is permitted to…" Nori said bracingly, only to go breathless and silent as their leader's burgeoning reiatsu swelled warningly.
"Don't bother spouting the obvious at me," Byakuya said shortly, "I know that you are allowed, even expected to take action when I am indisposed…"
"Which also includes any time your condition slows you down so that you cannot attend to decisions that must be made swiftly," Isas interrupted, "Our family's status…"
"Our status is not going to be helped if this council acts behind my back to strip me of my best protection during a time when my ability to trust the ones around me is critical!" Byakuya spat, "Tetsuya is integral to my protection."
"And he is also pregnant," Isas argued, "and will be subject to the same effects that you are…effects that could have deadly consequences if they occur at an inopportune time, don't you think?"
In the gallery, Ichigo, Torio and a number of the other observers, flinched as Byakuya's heavy reiatsu turned viciously icy.
"I think every one of you here knows that Tetsuya would never take reckless chances with my life, nor would he allow me to be endangered in any way. Pregnant he may be, but he knows exactly how to handle my protection whether he provides that protection himself or assigns given tasks to others. In addition, Tetsuya is highly aware of the need to protect my privacy and the honor of this clan. Taking him out of the equation is tantamount to advertising our conditions and drawing attention to us that none of us want! In your rush to brush Tetsuya aside, something a number of you have long wanted to do…"
"Byakuya," Isas interrupted, "no one here is…"
"SILENCE!" the Kuchiki leader snapped, earning soft gasps from several at the table, "I know exactly what happened here and I will not listen to any more excuses. Nearly half of this council objected to Tetsuya being cared for at my estate after his illegal incarceration as a child. Those same people objected when Tetsuya's powers began to grow, when he reached bankai and when he became my protector. He has never done anything to deserve this treatment and in fact has only ever brought honor to our name since his arrival. And the reward you offer him for this…for following our rules, for honoring our name is to take that name from him and tear him from my side when I need him the most?"
"Byakuya, please hear me out," Nori said, raising his hands as though to ward off the leader's suffocating reaitsu, "I assure you that everyone in this room realizes that compromising your safety at a time like this would not be good for you or for the family. Some of us merely wanted reassurance both that your safety would remain in the best hands and that Tetsuya could have some of the burden taken from him at a time when his own physical and emotional health needs to be a priority. For my part, I was concerned because I recalled that the healers who took care of Tetsuya when he miscarried before were concerned for his health and a future child's if he was to become pregnant again."
Byakuya took a steadying breath, pulling back slightly in his reiatsu.
"While that much is true, there was no need to add to that the insults of taking away Tetsuya's right to use the Kuchiki name and to live at Kuchiki Manor!"
"He is married to Abarai Renji," Councilor Arisu countered, "a man who, while a commoner, has earned a respectful place in our society. Why would he not wish to use his husband's honorable name?"
"Tetsuya should have the choice to use the name he wishes to use, not have this council or anyone else tell him what name he may use! And you dictating that he must leave my home without even consulting me…" Byakuya seethed, his reiatsu flaring again.
"I did warn this council about both of these things," Nori sighed, "and that this would be your reaction. I am sorry, Byakuya. The council may have acted egregiously, but they were within the rules and they did convince the majority to vote with them. Believe me, I took no pleasure in explaining this to Tetsuya and I encourage this council to consider the damage their actions are doing at a time when we can least afford it. I recommend that we iron these issues out now, before the discord between us leaks into the awareness of the other clans."
"The other clans are more likely to see any attempt at coddling that little half blood as a weakness!" Isas insisted, "Whatever you may think of the council's decision, Byakuya, it is what would be ordered in any of the other clans. They are not so liberal…"
"Am I mistaken," Byakuya interrupted, "or did you just suggest to me that the other great clan leaders allow their elders to dictate to them who will live with them and who will protect them? I regularly stand in the presence of those others and I am sure that none among their elders would dare take the actions that you have today! I have heard enough of this nonsense. I am well aware that all of you knew that your decisions about Tetsuya would be rescinded by me as soon as I reached this hall, meaning that you understood that those orders would not be heeded in the end. And that means that the sole reason you took those actions was to torture Tetsuya and to attempt to make him feel like an outsider, something that members of this council have done repeatedly since I freed Tetsuya from Itamigiri and sought to make the hatred against our mixed blood kin a thing of the past! Do not look me in the eyes and tell me any different."
"Byakuya," Isas said sternly, "aware as you are of the other great clans' policies, you also know that we were the first to allow mixed bloods of half or more to wear our family name and to serve our main household. We are the first to assign a mixed blood to high servant status, clearing them to protect relatives and guests of high status. Since Itamigiri was found and emptied, we have had to watch our leader coddle that half-blood vermin and change our rules to favor him. You have pushed us to the brink! We have our limits and may I remind you that you have promised to obey the rules of the clan? It is not obeying if you simply change the rules you don't agree with!"
Byakuya gave the subfamily leader a withering glare.
"I assure you and everyone else here that peace between our pureblood and mixed-blood relations has long been a goal of this clan's leadership. My grandfather and my father…"
"Your father was never our leader!" Isas scoffed.
"My father lived and died as the rightful heir to this clan's leadership, making the same sacrifices and taking on appropriate functions and decisions as his position dictated and even before him, my grandfather worked hard to ease the discontent between us. The steps have been slow and small, but together, we have achieved the highest position among the noble clans and the others now begin to follow our lead. How dare you suggest to me that we should now stand back and follow them! Where is your pride, Isas?"
Isas's dark eyes flared, but noting the shift in the other elders' expressions and reiatsu, he realized he had lost his advantage and dropped back into his seat. Byakuya stared down the council, letting his blazing reiatsu calm as he sensed that he'd reined the errant councilors in.
"Those of you who supported these actions with the intent to hurt Tetsuya have also hurt me and our clan's honor. I warn you that in your haste to merely insult this family member who has only ever obeyed the rules set for him and fought to protect me and our clan's good name, you have insulted me personally. Rescinding Tetsuya's use of his rightful name and throwing him out of my household may have felt good to you in the moment, but it could have profound consequences that you have failed to foresee. Keep that in mind going forward and do not put me in this position again!"
"Whoa!" Ichigo managed, watching as Byakuya swept past the stymied elders and started out the door. Torio leapt to his feet, grabbing Ichigo's arm and hastened after their departing leader. Behind them, the head elder bit at his lips for a moment, holding back a pleased smile.
Good for you, my boy, he mused silently, Ginrei would be proud of you.
Nori cleared his throat softly and nodded to the others.
"We are adjourned."
XXXXXXXXXX
Tetsuya sat quietly at the kitchen table in his adoptive parents' home, his blue eyes solemnly studying the plate in front of him as he picked at the food, ignoring the impatient rumbling in his insides. A short distance away, Kuchiki Mai dried her hands on her apron, her lips frowning as she observed her son's deflated demeanor. She drew in and released a determined breath, forcing a smile as she moved to join him.
"It's such a blessing to have you here," she said, sitting down in a chair beside him.
Tetsuya turned slightly towards her and smiled, but the emotion didn't quite reach his eyes.
"I like coming home," he answered softly, "I'm so grateful to you and Sadao for sharing your home with me. I didn't really know what having a home and family was like until I came here."
He paused, taking a sip of the warm chamomile tea in front of him.
"It's because of you that I know in my heart what I want for my own child."
His hand trembled slightly as he set his cup down.
"Tetsuya," Mai whispered, taking his hand and wrapping her own around it.
"I…don't know if I'm going to be able to give this baby the home that I want him or her to have," Tetsuya confessed, tears rising in the corners of his eyes.
"Why not, dear? Are you worried because this child and marriage were unexpected?" Mai queried, "Has Renji-san said or done something to make you think this?"
"Well, he does say that he wants for us to grow closer, even to fall in love at some point, but even though he says the right things to make me feel hopeful for that, what he says and what he does seem to oppose each other. I think he's afraid."
"Afraid of what?"
Tetsuya sighed, leaning into his mother's shoulder and taking a few comforting breaths.
"When Renji was younger and living in Inuzuri, he fell in love with a girl, a street person, like himself. She became pregnant and they were making plans for their future, but she and the unborn child were killed in a hollow attack and I don't think that Renji's ever gotten over it. He couldn't talk about it for the longest time. Even Byakuya-sama didn't know about it. But when the accident happened in the twelfth division and Renji and I were thrown together all of a sudden, he came face to face with those old memories. And he's been honest with me that he's struggling, but there doesn't seem to be anything I can do. We were together on our wedding night and when we fell asleep, he seemed happy to be with me…but…when I woke, Renji was gone. When I went to meet him at our apartment, there was a note saying that he'd left on a mission to Hueco Mundo. He sounded like it was something that just had to be done, but…"
"But you think that Renji-san is running away," Mai supplied.
"I don't know," Tetsuya sighed, holding onto Mai's hand, "I just feel like everything may have caught up with him, but he's afraid to share that with me. He doesn't want to hurt me. He knows this isn't my fault, but I'm really just a stranger to Renji. He doesn't know me well enough to trust me and I don't know if he's ready to think about loving someone…anyone."
Tetsuya's breath caught as Mai's hand rose to curl around his face and her kind brown eyes locked on his.
"Tetsu-chan, I didn't think we were ready when you were rescued from that prison and Sadao brought you home to live with us. It hadn't been so long since we lost our own son in battle and like Renji-san, we were still hurting. It was a struggle at first, yes, but we were patient with each other. All of us, Sadao, Aratani, Kohana and I…we all found our own little ways to connect with you. You and Sadao worked the land together. Aratani and Kohana taught you to relax and to play like a child in a way you never had. I taught you to cook and take care of yourself. And you also reached out to us. You opened your heart to us and let us in. That helped us to open up as well. I know you and I know that you have been just as welcoming to Renji-san. He may still be hurting and he may be afraid, but he's strong and he's smart, ne?"
Tetsuya nodded wordlessly, swallowing hard and leaning forward to burrow into her shoulder again.
"But it hurts you because it feels lonely," Mai acknowledged, "I know."
"I want to help him, but I can't. I reach out and he runs away. I'm trying to be understanding."
Mai pulled back, giving him a skeptical look.
"You need to take care of yourself," she admonished him gently, "and you need to give Renji-san a little bit of time to get himself together. He will come around and he will see that he's lucky to have you. In the meantime, we'll just have to keep busy, so you won't feel so lonely."
Tetsuya gave her a questioning look and Mai smiled more genuinely.
"I was just thinking that it's been awhile since we visited the low Rukongai to take donations to the people there," she went on, "I'd like to have a talented healer to take along on the journey. I don't suppose you'd like to tag along?"
"I would like that," Tetsuya answered, his face brightening, "I think Koji will want to go along as well."
"Good," Mai said approvingly, standing, "why don't you go and tell Koji and get your things ready? I have a few things to collect here, then I'll join you."
She watched as Tetsuya left his half-finished meal and hurried down the hallway.
"Hmm," she muttered, narrowing her eyes, "Abarai Renji, you had best not hurt my son or we will have words."
XXXXXXXXXX
Renji's footsteps hissed with the burn of impatient reaitsu as he paced the dimly lit cave, cursing the howling wind and swirling sands outside that prevented him or his three comrades from leaving to continue their mission in the hollow world.
"Goodness, you're as stormy as the ugly tempest out there," Yumi commented, arching a fine eyebrow, "What's wrong, Renji? Regretting your decision to join our little escapade?"
"He should be," Ikkaku snorted, "It if was me, you couldn't pry me out from between that pretty Kuchiki's lily-white thighs."
"Excuse me?" Yumi objected, his purple eyes narrowing and glinting warningly.
"Hey," Renji growled, "don't disrespect my husband."
"No disrespect intended," Ikkaku chuckled raising his hands defensively, "I was just saying I don't see what the problem is. I mean, he's beautiful, right? Rich, cute and having your kid. Sounds like a fucking dream, but here you are whining and acting like you've got a problem."
He caught Yumi's disapproving eyes with a sideways glance that made his lover's gaze soften instantly.
"You've gotta realize when you have it good and enjoy it," he finished.
"I know I have it good," Renji sighed, dropping heavily onto the sandy cave floor, "Tetsuya's great. There's no denying that, and I'm really happy I'm gonna be a father."
"Then what's your problem?" Ikkaku asked, shaking his head, "If he's great and you're happy, then why are you here with us, stomping around this cave in the middle of a damned sandstorm instead of being home in bed, rai—"
"Ahem," Yumi coughed.
"Erm, why aren't you home spending quality time with Tetsuya and your little sprout?"
Shuuhei looked over from where he stood at the cave entrance.
"I think Renji's saying that he's got some worries," he suggested, "and those worries aren't necessarily about what he has. I think maybe they're about what he's afraid to lose."
Renji dropped his chin onto the palm of one hand, sighing raggedly.
"Well, I won't lie and say that it hasn't crossed my mind," he confessed.
"How could it not?" Shuu asked sympathetically, "I mean, for us lower Rukon kids, loss is practically an everyday thing. We can all list the people we've lost growing up. It's enough to make you wonder if anything lasts."
"Hmpf," Ikakkau snorted, "it sounds like you're just too scared to enjoy your blessings."
"Yeah?" Renji growled, bristling, "Maybe you would be too if you'd fucked up at protecting them like I have!"
Shuuhei's expression softened and he sat down in front of the redhead, taking Renji's rough-skinned hand in his.
"Is that what you think?" he asked, frowning, "Is it really, Renji? Cause I don't see that."
"Fuck," Renji sighed, shaking his head and closing his eyes against the memory that was rising up too quickly to push away, "I can't see anything but that. All the friends we had as kids, then Tsuyu and even Rukia. I couldn't fucking protect any of them."
Ikkaku took a breath to give a scathing answer, then paused as Yumi's hand came to rest on his arm.
Don't.
Shuuhei bit at his lip silently for a moment.
"I think you did plenty to protect them," he offered, "You've never held back training. You've always tried your hardest…and you're really strong, Renji. You're taicho level. Just…sometimes what we face is beyond what we can handle and we have to understand that and decide what to do. Do we hold back on taking the risks or do we figure that it's worth the risk and take it?"
"I say take it," Ikkaku insisted, "You've gotta live in the here and now cause no one's gonna promise your life's gonna be all roses and honeymoons. Sometimes it sucks, but you're better off getting in some good fucks and as many laughs as you can. At least you'll have some fun, even if it doesn't last."
"I'm not talking about having fun," Renji snapped, "I'm talking about the rest of my life here!"
"Hmm," Yumi interjected, moving closer and sitting down next to Renji and Shuuhei, "you're talking about more than that."
Renji gave him a petulant look.
"What?"
"Well, have you given any thought to what Tetsuya thinks about all of this?" Yumi asked pointedly, "I hear you talking about how the situation is making you feel and how you've got an important decision to make, but I don't hear anything about how your husband feels about the idea of you cutting ties with him and leaving. Have you even told him it's on the table?"
"What? Of course not!" Renji answered, stiffening, "I mean, I'm not gonna…I can't just…"
Yumi took a little breath and placed a hand on the redhead's shoulder, meeting his tortured eyes directly.
"When you got here, you admitted you left him with a note after your wedding night and you left him another when you skipped out on meeting him at your new home."
"I didn't…!" Renji shouted, then he slammed a fist into the ground, "Okay, I did. I left, but I didn't do it because I wanna leave him."
"But you're contemplating doing just that, aren't you?" Yumi asked solemnly, "Renji, I assure you, Tetsuya knows you're having doubts and that you're not turning to him and whatever pain you're avoiding…he's in pain right now too. Tetsuya isn't just someone you're seeing. You married him and he's having your child. If you aren't sure that you can handle being a husband and father at Tetsuya's side, then he deserves to know. He deserves to hear that from you."
For a moment the cave went silent except for the lonely howls of the wind outside, then Renji deflated and nodded dejectedly.
"Damn it, you're right. I never should've come here, but now, here I am and…"
He broke off as a hell butterfly fluttered into the cave, careening a bit before hovering in front of the surprised redhead.
Renji, Byakuya's solemn voice intoned, word has come that Inuzuri has been locked down and I thought you should know that I've been informed Tetsuya was there with his mother and attendant doing charity work and healing when the announcement was made.