Alexandra Potter
Chapter Seven: Hogwarts 101
Scene 1/3
"HUFFLEPUFF!"
The moment the hat shouted the word, McGonagall whipped the hat off Alex's head. For a moment, the hall was silent, staring at her incredulously. And then Hufflepuff exploded. The whole table was on its feet, jumping up and down, cheering and clapping as she walked over, distinctly aware that every eye in the hall was on her. The first years were at the end of the table, so she had to walk past the older years to get to her place.
"Great to have you, Potter!" said the prefect from the train, inclining his head to her as he clapped.
"Welcome to Hufflepuff!" added a handsome boy a few years her senior, and he clapped her on the back enthusiastically. She stumbled, but recovered quickly.
"I don't believe it!" said Susan. She was clapping with the rest of them, grinning widely. "I hoped, but I never thought... but here you are!"
Alex smiled back, happy to be in the same house as Susan. I don't know what the hat was talking about, she thought. I have friends. It's not wrong to like magic too.
"Settle down, now," called McGonagall, and the Hufflepuffs rapidly returned to their seats.
"Budge up!" hissed Susan to the boy next to her, and everyone shuffled down the bench, making space for Alex. As soon as she sat down, a set of cutlery, a plate and a goblet popped into existence in front of her.
Cool.
The rest of the Sorting went along quickly. Sophie Roper went to Ravenclaw, right before Hufflepuff received their last member. Finally they reached the end of the alphabet. Blaise Zabini went to Slytherin and Dumbledore stood. He was a tall man, and was wearing purple robes unlike any Alex had seen at Madam Malkin's. Colour aside, they were almost like the robes of a priest - they even included a long stole with a golden trim.
"To students both new and old: welcome to Hogwarts!" he began, speaking with the deliberation of an experienced public speaker. "Before we are all befuddled by the feast, I have a number of announcements to make." He allowed a moment for the students to groan in good-natured complaint - Gryffindor was particularly strong in their objection.
"Yes, yes, I shall endeavour to be as concise as possible. Now, firstly, as you know, our esteemed Potions Master, Professor Slughorn, retired from teaching at the end of last year. It is now my great pleasure to announce the promotion of Assistant Professor Snape to the position of Professor, and Hogwarts' Potions Master. He also inherits Professor Slughorn's position as Head of Slytherin House."
Dumbledore began to clap and the students quickly followed. A rather ugly man with a hooked nose and greasy hair stood up to receive the applause, which Alex noticed was rather subdued - except at the Slytherin table, who were cheering enthusiastically. Professor Snape himself seemed indifferent to the whole affair.
"I'm sure Professor Snape shall be more than up to the challenge of filling Professor Slughorn's shoes," Dumbledore said as Snape sat back down. "Now, older students will remember that our own Professor Flitwick spent last year teaching at the prestigious Durmstrang Institute of Magic, as part of a teacher exchange. Professor Flitwick has now returned and will resume the position of Charms Master. Let us congratulate Professor Winters on her most able management of Charms while Professor Flitwick was away."
Another round of applause followed, and an attractive woman stood up. She was young, with shoulder length blonde hair and a generous amount of chest. Professor Winter's applause was much more enthusiastic than Snape's; a number of cat calls could even be heard coming from Gryffindor. Dumbledore held up his hand for silence.
"It is now Hogwarts' turn to host a teacher from Durmstrang. Please join me in giving a most enthusiastic welcome to Master Veigel, who shall be joining our Defence Against the Dark Arts faculty." Alex clapped with the others, straining her neck to see the surly foreigner. He was an older man, with a few grey hairs - Alex had no idea how old that actually made him. Eighty, at least.
"Master Veigel has a deep knowledge of the Dark Arts, for which - as many of you will know - Durmstrang has a fearsome reputation. I'm sure both Hogwarts' students and staff will benefit from his expertise."
Dumbledore paused, looking over the students seriously, before smiling widely. Alex thought it was a good smile.
"Hogwarts has the reputation of being the finest school of magic in the world. Such a reputation is only maintained through attracting the best possible teachers, and Hogwarts has always prided itself on the talent of our Professors. However, there is always room for improvement." He picked up a piece of parchment and began to read.
"Adalbert Waffling is one of the most celebrated philosophers of our age. He has contributed to significant advances in the areas of ethics, paraphysics, and theory of mind. He pioneered a revolutionary method for the study of interjective facts, and his theory of Internalisation is widely accepted. He has published over fifteen books, seventy articles, and in 1962 was awarded the Order of Merlin, Second Class, for his contributions to philosophy. Witches and wizards, please put your hands together for our new Philosophy Master: Professor Adalbert Waffling."
An old man - at least as old as Dumbledore - rose, and the teachers stood to greet him, giving him a standing ovation. The students quickly followed, clambering to stand for the man who wrote their textbook. Professor Waffling gave a short bow in recognition.
"Wonderful," said Dumbledore. "I look forward to hearing all about Professor Waffling's lessons. And now, lest we face a revolution from our hungry Gryffindors, let us eat! I have only four more words to say: Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak!"
Everyone laughed, and suddenly the tables were covered with food. Alex stared: it looked like there was something of everything. There were meats of every kind - roasted, grilled, even barbecued - and enough vegetables to feed an army. But that was just the start: there were stews, a giant shepherd's pie, pastries of many kinds. And sitting right in front of Alex was a beef wellington.
"Potatoes, Alexandra?" said Susan, and she passed a platter of perfectly crisp roast potatoes over before Alex could even answer.
As roast potatoes were one of Alex's favourites, this was no great problem. She piled them up on her plate, before passing them on to the boy to her right.
"You want some wellington?" she asked back, already cutting herself some.
"Nah," said Susan, "I prefer chicken."
Eventually Alex's plate was full almost to bursting and she dug in. As she did, everyone started introducing themselves.
"Tiberius Slowe," said a scruffy haired boy, his plate even larger than Alex's. "Of course, I know who you are," he said, waving his fork at Alex, "but who're the rest of you?"
Well, at least I'll never have to introduce myself, Alex thought.
"Justin Finch-Fletchley," said the boy next to Alex. He was quite short - shorter than she was - and the moment Alex heard his voice, she knew he was posh.
"Finch-Fletchley," repeated Slowe, thinking. "Never heard that name before."
"Obviously he's Muggleborn," said another boy, opposite Alex. He had rather large ears, Alex noticed. The way they stuck out made him look rather gormless. "Not that there's anything wrong with that," he added quickly, glancing around.
"Course not," said Slowe, and, as if to demonstrate his commitment to equality, he offered Justin a boat of gravy.
"I'm Wayne Hopkins, by the way," added the big eared boy. He seemed to be talking directly at Alex.
"This is Susan," Alex said, feeling like she had to say something, but knowing that they all already knew her name. She remembered just in time: "Susan Bones."
"We've met," said Slowe, swigging down some pink strawberry fizz. "Do you remember? Last year at -"
"McLaggen's Christmas Do," completed Susan, smiling. "Do you remember how drunk Mrs Framling was?"
"Oh god!" said Slowe, laughing lightly. "That little dog she takes everywhere! She was feeding it Elf-made wine!"
A couple of people laughed, but Alex didn't get it. She guessed Elf-made wine was special somehow. She was about to quietly ask Susan when another boy spoke up.
"Hey, look!" he said, pointing towards his plate. Everyone looked over: he'd arranged a sausage and mashed potato to look like a cock and balls. Alex rolled her eyes at Susan; Slowe snorted but said nothing.
"Oh, grow-up, Kevin," said a girl opposite him. She was a tiny girl - she made Alex think of a pixie. "We're at Hogwarts now, not Wimbledon."
Kevin blushed red and took a mouthful of potato.
"Please excuse Kevin," said the girl, giving him a withering glare. "I'm Lily Moon by the way."
"Do you all know each other?" asked Alex, beginning to feel left out. Everyone was friends already, making jokes about things she'd never even heard of.
"Not everyone," said Wayne. "But I went to Madam Poppins' Prep with Tiberius, Ernie and Hannah."
"And me and Kevin went to Wimbledon Primary together," Lily said.
"Kevin and I," Kevin corrected, a smug look on his face.
"Oh, shut it, Mugglefucker," Lily returned.
A blonde haired girl gasped. "You swore!" she said, putting her fork down. Judging by her weight, it's something she should do more often.
"She does that," said Kevin.
"Zounds, bastard, son of a whore," Lily reeled off, and the boys looked at her in awe. "Rhia, hagspit, crown."
The blonde's mouth was hanging open - and she wasn't the only one. Susan was staring at Lily in shock.
"What's the worst word you know, Hannah?" said Lily. Alex shifted uncomfortably. Things were getting nasty.
The blonde girl - Hannah - went red and looked down at her plate.
"Come on, tell us!"
Hannah shook her head and went back to eating.
"Can you say 'fuck', Hannah? Come on - do it!"
Hannah shook her head again, and Alex watched as Lily's chant was taken up by Wayne and Tiberius.
"Say it, say it, say it, say it!"
"I won't!" shouted Hannah, breaking at last, and they laughed. Alex shared an uncomfortable look with Susan, who shrugged.
Alex didn't speak much for the rest of dinner, preferring to listen. She didn't want to attract any attention as she had with Daphne - who knew how people like Lily would react to her Muggle past?
Eventually the feast wound down and people began to leave in small groups. The prefect from the train came over to their part of the table.
"Everyone full?" he asked. He was answered by a series of satisfied groans. "Don't expect food like this every day, now!" he warned, "though the food is pretty good anyway. All right then, if you're all done, follow me!"
He led them from the hall through the main doors - a great archway the size of a small house - and they passed into the cooler air of the castle beyond.
"I'm Peter Hadley, by the way," he said as they took a corridor from the entrance hall, "I'm one of the Hufflepuff prefects. If you need anything in these first few weeks, just ask. Try to remember where we're going now - this is the way to the common room, and it's a secret - don't tell anyone from the other Houses."
The way was complicated but Alex thought she could remember it. They were in a lower part of the castle: there were fewer airy stairwells and landings here, and the corridors were smaller and less ornate.
"Here we are," said Peter, stopping next to a large painting of a bowl of fruit. "The way in is pretty simple, which is why it's so important to keep it a secret. To get in, all you have to do is stroke the largest banana. Like this!"
He held out a finger and stroked the banana, and with a click the painting swung outwards, as if on hinges.
The common room beyond was much smaller than Alex expected. It was tiny, in fact: there wasn't even enough room in there for the first years, never mind all of Hufflepuff. There were a few small tables with armchairs around them, and a number of hat stands to hang clothes on. At least there are biscuits on the tables.
"Hufflepuff House is like a ring," said Peter, once they had all packed in. He waved his wand and, as he spoke, thin lines of fire appeared in the air, drawing a diagram. "In the centre of the ring, you have the stairwell, leading to the dorms. And around the stairwell you've got a ring of nine rooms. Each one has a door to the stairs, and connects to the rooms either side, you see?"
Alex did. It was like a flower. She supposed it made sense: a single room for everyone would be too big. This was much more personal.
"This room here's the Welcome Room," Peter continued, gesturing at the room around them. "Not many people hang around in here, normally. Too many people going in and out. Come on, I'll show you the others."
He opened the door on the right and they squeezed through into a larger room. It was basically a sitting room: there was a large, roaring fire, and many squidgy-looking arm chairs arranged around coffee tables. There were much larger tables in each corner of the room - the kind you could play board games around.
"This is the Winter room," said Peter, "since in summer it's too warm and a bit dark." Alex noticed there weren't any windows: just portraits and curtains. "Still, for the next few months this'll probably be the most popular room. There's nothing like an open fire on a cold night. Okay, next one."
They went through the door opposite - the door to the left would take them to the stairs, Alex guessed - and passed into a large, airy room with wooden floors and paneled walls. There wasn't much in the way of furniture - just some chairs stacked up against the walls - but there was a small stage at the end.
"We call this the Big Room," said Peter. "I think you can see why." He received a few titters for his joke. "If there's ever a party - after a Quidditch match, for example - then it'll be in here. And Hufflepuff's Drama Club puts on a play most terms too."
"Drama club?" asked Lily.
"Oh, that's right, I forgot," said Peter. "The House notice board is in the welcome room. All the information for clubs and so on goes on there. Okay, next room - I still have to get you to your dorms, after this."
The door to the next room was rather large - enough for two people at a time - and Alex gasped with the others when she saw why. It wasn't a room at all - it was outside! It was like a large, rocky ledge on the side of the castle: the starry sky was above them, and a metal railing by the edge was the only protection against falling hundreds of feet into the lake, which stretched into the distance far beneath them.
"This is the stone garden," Peter continued, and indeed there wasn't any grass. Stone picnic tables were carved out of the rock, and the whole patio was lit by torches. The far wall was stone too, and there was a tunnel opposite them - leading to the next room, Alex guessed.
"What if we fall?" asked Hannah, who was eyeing the metal railing nervously. Thank god someone asked, thought Alex - she'd been thinking the same thing.
"Oh, I wouldn't worry about that," said Peter casually. "Imperturbable Charm on the railing. No one's ever fallen."
Alex moved to look out over the edge - the lake really was very beautiful - and Susan followed her.
"This is... just, wow," said Alex. Did every House have something like this?
"Yeah," agreed Susan.
"Come on, now!" interrupted Peter. "You'll have plenty of time to explore later. The next room's my favourite."
They followed him into the tunnel - more like a cave, really - and very soon they could hear the sound of water. Roaring water. The air became damp, and then they turned a corner to see the tunnel blocked by a waterfall.
Peter grinned at them, and walked through the water. The first years hesitated.
"Fuck that," said Lily, staring at the water. "I'm not getting wet."
Alex laughed, giving Susan a grin before walking through. To her great surprise, she didn't get wet at all - though she certainly felt the cool of the water hitting her, it seemed to just lack wetness.
When Alex saw the room beyond, she knew exactly why it was Peter's favourite. It was hers too.
It was an underground cave, dark, lit only by a swarm of strange, tiny flying creatures, each no larger than a mosquito, each giving off a softly glowing light. She and Peter were standing on a stone walkway, which bisected a deep pool, into which the waterfall plunged. A little wooden bridge led from the middle of the walkway to the left, where it met a door in the wall - the stairwell.
"Wow," repeated Alex, looking around in amazement. She looked up, and couldn't see a ceiling - it was too dark. But the way the water echoed made it feel large.
Susan came through the waterfall and almost pushed her into the pool.
"Clear the way!" shouted Peter over the sound of the water, and they walked further along the walkway to make room for the others.
"Ohh, fairy lights!" said Lily, and Alex noticed that they seemed to drift towards her, like bees to a picnic.
"Well, what you see is what you get, so let's move on before someone falls in!" shouted Peter, and Alex followed him reluctantly. She would definitely return soon - with her swimming costume.
The next room was outside too: a walled garden, it was essentially just a small lawn of grass. A number of lamps hung off the walls, like the gas ones you'd take camping. Only three of the walls were stone. The third was glass, and you could see through it into the next room: a hot conservatory.
"Mind the Craptacular Cactus," advised Peter, pointing out one of the plants on the window sill. "One prick is enough to make you wish you hadn't."
And then he led them from the greenhouse to the last room: a small study area, with desks and uncomfortable looking chairs, and a few bookcases on the walls. A tall girl with a manly face was waiting for them there: like Peter, she wore a Prefect's badge.
"Okay, that's the end of the tour," said Peter, "boys, come with me and I'll show you your dorms. Girls, you go with Helen."
Helen finally took them to the stairs: a carpeted, circular room with staircases going both up and down.
"Boys dorms are down, girls are up," she said, and she led them up the stairs. There were seven landings, each with three doors. First years were at the very top.
"This is your bathroom," Helen said, swinging open one of the doors. It was a long room with a ceramic floor. There were four doors marked TOILET with bronze plaques, and opposite them a line of sinks and mirrors. A couple more doors were marked BATHROOM, and the end of the room was a shower area. It wasn't exactly open, with individual showers divided by a panel of frosted glass, but it wasn't private either.
"Okay, half of you in one dorm, half in the other," said Helen, and she pulled out a piece of paper. "Hannah, Susan, Megan, Lily, Alexandra, you're in this one."
Helen opened one of the doors and they walked in. Their trunks were already there, sitting at the feet of large, four poster beds. Alex spotted hers closest to the window and ran over to jump on the bed.
Susan was next to her, and they laughed as they jumped up and down - right up until Alex hit her head on the wooden beams overhead.
"Ow!" said Alex, rubbing her head, smiling in embarrassment at the laughing girls.
Helen returned a short time later to help them unpack their stuff. Each of them had a wardrobe and a bedside cabinet. Soon enough it was time for bed - the first years had to be in their dorms by nine, and lights out was at ten. As Alex lay in the most comfortable bed she'd ever felt, she couldn't help but think: life was good.