Christmas Chaos
Chapter 15: The Sand Ball
December 26th - 6:30 PM
Tenten let the silky inner material of the emerald dress slide over her body and gave another look at the mirror. Her mother and aunts had insisted on taking her to that new hairdresser who rose to fame with his Tik Tok stitches commenting on people's home hair-makeover.
"He'll do wonders with your hair. You'll see!"
Tenten had shrugged. Like anyone, she could have used the pamper with the Holidays coming to an end. She had expected the pleasant feeling of a fresh blow-out but was instead stunned at the mane of large glamorous curls gravitating down her back.
Her usual scheming aunt Suki had even convinced her to follow her to her spa salon for a manicure and a professional make-up session.
"So, how long have you been planning this makeover session?" Tenten gave her mother and aunts a dubious look while her manicurist applied the topcoat on her nails.
"A few months," Aunt Suki instantly replied while receiving glares from her younger sisters at her unwelcomed candour.
Mikoto laughed guiltily. "What your aunt means to say," She directed her stern voice at her sister before speaking softly to her daughter. "Is that we'd been dreaming of this for months. We haven't spent quality time together for a long time now."
The longing in her mother's voice convinced Tenten to let the criticism of their schemes go. After all, her mother wasn't wrong, and she had missed her outings with her family.
Now, looking at herself with the perfectly applied make-up and the dreamy, shiny, voluminous hair framing her features perfectly, Tenten felt apprehension.
She had never looked more beautiful in her life, she'd think, yet she still cowered inside at the idea of meeting him again. Yet, when she dug deeper into this unsettling feeling she had in the depth of her belly, Tenten had to be honest and realized her dread was more linked to Neji.
She kept forgetting about Deidara, her revenge plan, and why Neji was here in the first place.
Staring at her picture-perfect reflection, Tenten had a cruel realization. She wanted to look good for Neji. How uncomfortable it felt to have grown attached so quickly to someone in mere days, but more terrifying was the uncertainty ahead. She already felt she was losing him by the second, the plan ending sooner rather than later.
She knew that Neji would be unattainable out of the scope of their arrangement. How many of her colleagues had tried charming the uninterested surgeon? Also, she had seen the girlfriends he had in the last years, she doubted she fit the profile. It felt so odd to be so privy to Neji and his family, to know him so intimately, but ultimately to feel so far away from him, so undeserving of what she craved from him.
It was almost forbidden on her lips, the emotions that surfaced. Could she be such a fool? Like all the others she had scorned? Her guards fell so easily at the sight of his mischievous smile, her skin prickling under the intensity of his serious gaze. She wanted him a bit too much for her comfort. She didn't simply want him physically; it wasn't the same physical attraction she may have had initially. Now it was interlaced with emotional intimacy.
She wanted whispered secrets late into the night, his fingers soothingly brushing her back as he mumbled half-sleepy stories of his past. She wanted his casual arm around her shoulders when they sat on the couch. She wanted to exchange looks that dived deep into her mind and understood things she didn't have to voice for him to understand so fluidly.
"Tenten?"
Her head quickly turned to the knock on her door.
"Yes, I'm coming down." She answered her father.
She quickly filled her little purse and took a last look at the silky emerald dress she was wearing. Fu wasn't kidding when she said there would be more cleavage next time. The material dropped very low in elegant folds, showcasing a good portion of the cleavage her adhesive bra expertly created by pressing so rigorously her breasts together. Her back was even more exposed, completely bared until it reached the beginning of her curve.
If she didn't know Suna's tendency to scandalous fashion that her own dress could not rival, she probably would have had strong reservations about the dress. But here in her hometown, nobody would bat a single eye at her dress. Moreover, it was Fu's gift, and her mother had gushed about the fitting dress so exasperatedly Tenten could hardly imagine refusing to wear it.
The more she wore the dress and looked at how it enveloped her curves like a fitted glove, the less she felt awkward in it. Instead, she felt outstanding and desirable in it. She was ready to flaunt what she had, to celebrate herself with the exquisite garment, even if she felt like an imposter in something so seductive.
She took a deep breath and went out of their room. The house was eerily quiet. Everyone was outside, figuring out how they would split into the cars. Neji had already departed with his father and uncle. They had spent the afternoon visiting Suna relatives and headed to the gala with them. They had convened to meet there, once he'd be done with his diplomatic endeavours.
Tenten grabbed the hem of her dress before starting to walk down the stairs, the hushed echoes of Anko and Kakashi's discussion following the sound of her steps.
They had been talking in the guestroom lent to the Hyugas since noon, and every time the incomprehensible whispered words of their dialogue came to Tenten's ears, she felt her chest tighten a little bit more, reflecting on the often pointed-out similarities Neji and she shared with the wrecked ex-couple. Leaving her to wonder if her newly developed sentiments for one surgeon were not just a treacherous fickle passion that might lead her to end up like her mentor.
Harbouring years of resentment and unable to move forward.
Tenten was not a big believer in feeling old at thirty years old, but she did consider it time for her to invest in a long-lasting relationship and not something that burned so passionately that its flame would consume in a few months once met with the outside world.
"Tenten," Her father breathed out once she was at the door. "You look beautiful." He smiled adoringly at her. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders to kiss her forehead.
"Thank you, dad." Tenten smiled back. She often forgot how lucky she was to have Gai as a father figure. He had treated her from the very first day like she was his own, putting his life on the line for her just as he did for Lee. She rarely remembered he wasn't even her biological father.
"Oh, Little Tenten." Her mother brought a hand over her mouth, and her aunts gasped.
"You look wonderful, honey." Aunt Yara dabbed the corner of her eyes, and surprisingly even Aunt Suki followed suit.
"Wasn't she just a little babe we sang lullabies to months ago?" Aunt Suki supplied, linking her arm with her sister's.
A grunted, "I didn't know pretty boy's little village was in dire need of fabric supply. I would have gladly made a donation so that seamstress of yours could finish the dress properly."
Suki rolled her eyes. "You're positively backwards, A."
"Don't you have a shawl or something you can lend her?" He ignored his sister's jab and turned towards a surprised Mikoto. "She might as well be wearing that damned qipao that didn't fit!" He emitted a strangled gasp of anger.
"I think it's the stress of having a child," Mabui whispered to the sisters who, though used to A's protectiveness of Tenten, had never seen him in such a state. "He keeps waking up in the middle of the night with cold sweats mumbling things about our daughter's first boyfriend that brought her after the curfew." Mabui gave them a pointed look to say they could all agree her husband had finally lost it.
"It's just fashion, A." Mikoto dismissed his worry while Tenten walked to her father's car. Neji had just texted her that the Hyuga congregation had arrived at the Sand Ball.
"Women and fashion," A grunted his disapproval.
"Well, it first came from and for men as toxic as you." Suki pointed an accusing finger at him. "Now, sexiness has been reclaimed as an empowering thing for many women, and there's nothing you can do about it."
"It's because I know toxic men like me that I'll be doing something about it." A's lips set in a firm line. "Little Tenten!" A roared at her niece, rushing to sit next to her in the car. "You're not leaving my side tonight."
December 26th - 10:35 PM
A really was really serious when he said Tenten would be stuck with him all evening. He had always hovered a metre or two away from her and Neji. From dinner to the dancefloor to the silent auction, the only place he had not followed her with Mabui in tow was when she went to the lady's room to chat excitedly with an anxious Temari.
Though right now, dancing in Neji's arms, Tenten could barely notice her uncle's presence. All she could focus on was his warm hand pressing her lower back. He was purposeful in trying to navigate the very narrow space of fabric before it reached the curve of her bum without having to touch the bare skin of her back.
Which, Tenten would grant him, was a very tricky business. His fingers brushed her back more times than she could count. Each of his unintentional touches sent a jolt of electricity that wouldn't leave her body and started to accumulate in a frenzy of desire she didn't know what to do with.
On top of her treacherous prickled skin that jolted at the mere hover of his lips a few centimetres from her naked neck and shoulders, save the very thin silken straps of her dress; Tenten couldn't shake off the look he had given her when he first saw her arrive. It was full of longing and desire, and it had stirred something within her that she couldn't comprehend.
Eagerness, delight, lust, but also an odd sort of gripping prospective nostalgia, as if she already regretted the time that had yet to pass. It felt like she couldn't get enough of him or breathe enough of him. From the moment he had offered her his arm when she entered, Tenten had found a way to stay as close to him as possible.
And thank all the heavens, she would think, because Neji seemed so accustomed to their pretend dating strategy that he had been overly affectionate with her, aiding her in her private endeavours to score as many of his caresses as possible.
Though she would have preferred it been for other reasons than the watchful eyes of his Suna relatives and the inquisitive eyes of the assembled crowd. Their engagement was on everyone's lips thanks to Neji's gossiping family and her own mother, who had propelled their deceitful couple to widespread social interest.
Despite it all, she couldn't complain. It would be hypocritical for her to do so. Every little act of calculated tenderness Neji did, sent her in a frenzy, exhilarating yet overwhelming, not unlike going down a rollercoaster and feeling at the same time, you're soaring but also falling into danger.
He kept her hand in his all throughout supper as if it was the most natural thing to do, rubbing her knuckles with his thumb without giving it a second thought as he talked politics with some Suna senate members seated next to them.
"I understand that indexing the cost of life regarding net salary is the most comprehensible way to distribute a nation's wealth equitably." He had smoothly replied to the senator, known for his socialist views. "But to invigorate this wealth that needs redistribution, you also need competitive fiscal incentives for companies wishing to bring business into your town." He pursued, navigating with agility the precarious position he was in between opposite-minded politicians, yet still softly caressing her hand in the process.
Tenten looked in awe at how well-versed Neji could be in a multitude of subjects. Not that she lacked the knowledge herself, but the way he could articulate a thought or an opinion was so concise and well-debated. She couldn't help but feel her cheeks flush with pride, already imagining him debating such matters in Konoha's House of Lords.
He was really the perfect man; he had more than once enjoined her to give her own opinions and used her own rhetoric to further his. If she had been an outsider to their schemes, she would have believed them to be this harmonious couple they pretended to be, one that is used to debating together at supper and had grown up with a common view of the world after being enriched by each other's ideas.
Yet, were they really pretending? At this point, she had to say no. Their conversation was as natural as their usual fighting. The more she got to know Neji, the more she noticed all the likenesses they shared.
Then he had the audacity to shield her from the throng of people when they all got up to walk to the silent auction. She had just risen from her seat that he was already in front of her, a protective hand on his lower back, letting the crowd bump into him so she wouldn't suffer the inconvenience.
How could she now return to dating apps and Ino's blind dates with her dubious psychiatrist colleagues who asked too many questions about her childhood on the first date?
That was never supposed to happen. Neji was never supposed to be anything than his most infuriating self Tenten couldn't stand. How had he successfully become the object of her every thought and fuming fascination?
How had he moved from someone whose presence was insufferable to someone whose absence was unbearable?
Fuck, Tenten thought. Feeling herself unravel, unknitted to her very core by his every touch.
And those eyes, those eyes that looked at her so deeply, so silently, knowing of every nook and crannies of her mind.
They were always so serious, so solemn in their inquiry of her. She didn't know what Neji was looking for, but she was even more anxious, wondering if he had found was what he was looking for. She startled herself in catching her breath, suspended at the edge of his lips, waiting for him to utter words that would lift the fog away from their situation.
Because if he seemed to decipher her so thoroughly, leaving her completely vulnerable to his adoring assessing glance, she couldn't read a single letter of his soul for the life of her.
He had been stubbornly silent the whole evening, looking intently at her, the slightest frown adorning his eyebrows. What did it mean when he looked at her like that? When his eyes dug so deep in her, she felt her essence completely bared in front of him?
To the jitters of being gazed at so intensely was added the restless dread of what lay behind his unattainable thoughts. Did he dive in so deep into her being only to find her lacking? In wits and in charms? Tenten seemed to have put him on a pedestal so high that she felt only too little to reach his perfection.
Would he, too, look at the rough edges of everything she was only to declare her too average for him?
Then he made her dance. He made her dance all evening except for that pause when Temari had dragged her reluctant body away so she could vent her stress upon the soon public declaration Shikamaru would have to make.
Her skin had hitched all the while Temari rambled, her fingers fidgeting and her heart racing. Five minutes away from his touch and she fell in withdrawal of his scent and the way his loose strands brushed her naked shoulders.
Back at his side after finding him calmly pacing in front of the women's bathroom, she took his hand and went straight back to the dancefloor before he could ask her if she wanted to take a break.
Because the truth was her stiletto heels were killing her, her legs were protesting with all their might, her back was barely supporting her, and her stomach was tied in more knots than a nautical rope, but she still desperately needed his arms around her.
She didn't want to squander a single second of this magical night. The million shines of the deliriously large chandelier above them, the countless firefly lights suspended on the ceiling reflecting on the glass and metallic arks of the venue that stood like a crystal castle in the middle of a blossoming garden. Waves of jasmine blooming in the night shrouded them like dreamy clouds they could dance on. They tip-toed around bittersweet violins' cries of long-forgotten romantic eras and star-crossed lovers.
The more they twirled around the room, the more she found harbouring her breath to be the most challenging task. Her heartbeat was more hectic than the audience clapping after each quartet's played compositions. She could feel her bosom heaving up and down as if she was sporting a corset compressing her ribcage, but the only thing cutting her breath short was Neji's arm enlacing her.
And what if she could never be alive more than she was tonight? What if she had just cursed herself to live half a life for the rest of her days? Because she had lived too much of her planned years in a single night? How could she go back to a world where her skin was a stranger to his? Unaccustomed to bliss draping her like the smoothest velvet?
She hitched a breath again when she felt his fingers graze the lower part of her back. How could he pretend so perfectly? To be so enamoured with her? How could he switch that light in his eyes when he looked at her? Be so damn convincing she lost herself in hopeless, doomed, unauthentic romance. He was a fantasy, a fantasy they had both crafted.
She was a cursed Pygmalion, that despondent fool who fell in love with his sculpted statue. This resemblance only foreshadowed the Greek tragedy she was condemning herself to if she continued to hope her ill-advised reveries could amount to anything more than wishful thinking and agonizing heartbreak on her part.
"Tenten?" The smooth voice of Neji erupted like thunder in her mind.
She looked up, surprised, shaken off of her musing, at the worried look Neji gave her. She quickly averted her gaze away from his scrutinizing one before he could soak up all her banned thoughts.
But his thumb slowly lifted her chin and turned her head so he could have access to all of her again, and she was now damned, lost in alabaster irises shrouding her with their radiant light. His hand slowly moved along her jaw, his fingers brushing her silky strands to rest at the top of the back of her neck, his thumb gently pressing the tragus of her ear.
She felt so utterly powerless, so completely contained by this hand owning her and bringing her so much closer to him than she could bear. She was ablaze, a fire forest ravaging every parcel of her skin. His breath rolled in waves crashing at the shores of her lips, and she knew she had surrendered the battle before it had even begun.
How.
How could he dally so effortlessly with her like a puppet dancing in the chaos of his heartbeats?
How could circumstances change so fast? So dizzyingly fast, she had fallen out of reason and stumbled into desire and affection so incautiously, so imprudently.
Her breath caught in her throat when she came to a realization she had banished far in her mind, so far it had anchored as unease in her stomach, like lead butterflies swimming in drowning torrents of pining and apprehension.
"What is it?" He whispered ever so tenderly.
The seemingly innocent question shook her already trembling core. It was not 'are you ok?'; they were past that. Neji had already studied her enough to something was off, so expertly deciphering her silences and veiled expressions.
She managed to shake her head in dismissal, but she knew he expected more than a simple movement of her head. She helplessly opened her mouth, unsure of how to profess something believable without giving too much of herself away.
"Tenten?" He insisted, his tone a bit harsher, a bit more demanding. His hand on her back brought her closer to him as if he was trying to inhale all her secrets.
"Tenten."
The brunette head turned swiftly, a sway of curls danced around her as she came face to face with Deidara and his fiancée on his arm.
She would lie if she denied having daydreamed of this moment for years, imagining how nonchalant she'd play it, how she'd find ways to make him regret, imagining herself staying strong against the pounding of her heart and the blue of his eyes that had drowned her one too many times.
Yet, in all her imagined scenarios, she had never thought she'd see him and be relieved. She let out a breath she hadn't realized she was holding. More than that, she let her glance wander on the features of this man she had once so desperately loved.
Has he always looked like that?
She couldn't help the slight tilt of her head, disbelieving what she was seeing. Had she idealized him that much? He felt somehow more petite than the last time she saw him. His hair coming in a controlled blond mess over his face was considerably less enticing than it had been when she was younger. His lips were set in a thin line as if he wasn't pleased by something.
All Tenten could feel was strange merriment, like a burst of roaring laughter creeping up her throat. She suddenly felt so silly, like a child who imagines a pile of clothes to be a monster sitting in the corner until they turn on the light and discover their mistake in a fit of giggles.
That's how Tenten felt. Like she had finally shone a light on who Deidara really was and not what she had made of him in her mind. How could she had ever let someone like him call her lacking? For all his flawed personality and his unexceptional ways, how could she have let someone like him sway her in her perceptions of herself?
Giddy with her realization, her sudden freedom of his phantom grasp that only lived on because of how her imagination had filled the holes in his character, Tenten grinned.
She couldn't help the smile stretching her face; the beaming expression she sported was the most she could do to not just laugh loudly at her ex-mistake.
"Deidara!" Her tone was a bit too excited for the circumstances, but she couldn't help the happiness tearing her.
She felt Neji's hand on her hip tighten its hold.
"Oh!" She turned to her date. "This is Neji." She put a hand over Hyuga's chest.
Deidara's glare stopped at the emerald ring on a golden band that caught the light on Tenten's ring finger.
Tenten had completely forgotten about it. As soon as she had met Neji at the gala, he had put the ring back on her finger. Since his Suna relatives would be attending, it was only natural for Tenten to wear the ring they had seen on her in Haepo.
"Are you his-?" Deidara's strangled voice could finish his question before Neji's intervention.
"My fiancée, yes." He cut him off with a crisp tone.
Tenten couldn't help the silly grin on her face from growing a bit more even though she tried to bite it down, she looked up at Neji's clenched jaw, and her insides were in turmoil again. He looked more annoyed than she had ever seen him, maybe to the same extent as when she had almost driven herself over the Devil's Drop.
"We should go." Neji took Tenten's hand and walked away from the engaged couple, ending their reunion prematurely, sparing only a cold glance at the glaring blonde.
"Wait!" Deidara reached for Tenten's arm to stop her from departing. "We," He swallowed against the lump in his throat. Even his careless self could recognize danger when a Hyuga like Neji pierced him with a murderous glare.
Deidara immediately released Tenten's elbow and cleared his throat. "It's been a long time, Tenten."
The grip of Neji's hand on hers was now almost painful.
"Yes," Tenten breathed out, uneasy with the notion that Neji's patience with their scheme was growing thin.
"We should catch up." Deidara breathed out like a lost hope of past times. "I mean, Isobella and I would like to invite you to dinner whenever you're free." He tried to act more nonchalant than he had previously been.
Tenten's confused look travelled away from Deidara's pleading eyes to the blonde, green-eyed woman enthusiastically waving at her.
"Of course," Her tone was more hesitant than her words. "I'll attend your wedding, so we'll have another occasion to cross paths," Tenten tried to answer with tact.
If Deidara's features showed dissatisfaction at her answer, Neji, on the other hand, must have felt perfectly content with it because he took her hand again and mildly tugged it to enjoin Tenten to follow his lead as he walked them out of the ballroom.
Once away from the stuffy room, Tenten could better look at Neji's face and its reserved expression; his lips pressed in a thin line, the furrow of his brows, the darkness in his eyes.
"I'm sorry," Tenten attempted, feeling oddly guilty at the annoyance that etched on Neji's traits. "We'll soon be done with our plan."
Somehow that only seemed to rile him more because his countenance suddenly seemed even more guarded and cold.
He stiffly nodded. "It's almost midnight. Maybe you should join Temari on that stage before Shikamaru proposes. I'm going to go get a drink."
Tenten looked at Neji, half-turned towards the lounge room where some men went for a drink and a few cigars.
"Oh," She let out, not expecting this sudden turn of events. Did Neji suddenly become so distant because his job was done for the night? After all, he did what he had to do tonight: help her make her ex believe she found someone better than him in the end.
She should be happy. She got exactly what she wanted, but the problem, as Tenten looked helplessly at Neji's already departing form, was that all she had ever wanted had shifted and was now walking away, slipping from her fingers.
"Sure," She managed in a muffled voice, hating how wrought with disappointment her voice sounded, unsure if he had heard her because if he did, he made no sign of acknowledging it.
December 26th - 11:55 PM
Neji could only focus on his ragged breath and calming his trembling hands as he walked away from Tenten, ignoring the apparent sadness in her voice. He hated leaving her behind, but what choice did he have? He needed to find some respite elsewhere before his own simmering rage became so blinding he'd lose his composure which could simply not happen in such a mediatized event where they had been scrutinized by almost everyone present.
The apparition of Hyugas, primarily their head of clan, in the Sand Gala seemed to have caused quite a tumult, mainly with the gossip of the clan's successor's recent 'engagement.' If his uncle had seemed to rather enjoy this most advantageous turn of events, Neji was more reserved and wary of the situation. If anything, every whisper in their direction, every stealthy glance sent their way stood as a reminder of all they could lose if their plan was uncovered.
But that was not why he had been so awfully silent most of the evening. It was not the reason either for the burning anger that seemed to swallow him whole at the moment.
If anything, at first, Neji had been most amused by how easily they had fooled everyone in Suna and how even his most skeptical family members had surrendered to believing their convoluted deceit that had grown remarkably out of the outlined bounds of their initial agreement.
He was ready to thoroughly share his amusement of the few rumours he had been regaled with by his uncle and father. Rumours would have it she was already with child and that they were rushing the wedding, that they saved a patient together and it was love at first sight, that the Hyuga empire was seeking to extend its reach to social media and thus arranged a marriage with Mikoto's daughter to grow closer to the Suna entertainment empire.
Or even, and that was Neji's personal favourite, that they had, in fact, been dating for the last 10 years.
A reporter found one picture of Neji visiting Suna in his undergrad years by stalking his friends' Instagram posts. Of course, it had to be Kiba's publication that they found of that fateful day at the beach where he had vowed to never return to this city. The reporter also found a picture of Tenten surfing with Temari on that same beach on the same exact day. It didn't take more for journalists' imagination to go wild and spin a story as intricate as it was entertaining. Honestly, Neji wished they had thought of this epic romantic tale themselves.
According to the media, Neji and Tenten had met years ago on that beach, then Tenten, completely enamoured with him, had moved to Konoha to be with him. Unfortunately, they had to keep their relationship a secret because his uncle Hiashi didn't deem Tenten worthy of the Hyuga legacy at the time. Condemning the couple to hide that relationship by starting a feud in their workplace.
According to the two authors who everyone credited the original article, Neji then, out of love, decided to bring fake girlfriends his uncle would disapprove of every year. They explained the Hyugas rule for inheritance rules, which would prevent Neji from succeeding his uncle without a wife and child. They then concluded Neji had stalled time with improper 'flings' until his thirtieth birthday when he allegedly had pushed his uncle to accept Tenten as his future fiancée, pretexting time was running out.
In the car to the venue, Neji was openly laughing at the dramatic retelling of their relationship, gathering an odd look from the Hyuga twins.
'A tale of two cities' was how the gossip columnists had named their article, a shared piece between the Suna Daily and the Konoha Gazette that collaborated in the last two days to uncover 'This century's most well-kept fairy tale and outrageous romance.' Neji rolled his eyes. They would print a title claiming anything to be "this century's most-something" every three months.
Though he kept this thought to himself because if anyone ever asked, he would disavow entirely reading their piece in its entirety instead of scrunching the glossy paper as soon as Hiashi had handed it to him with his sly smirk.
He had been tempted to get a glimpse at the story, an alternate version of history where their love would not be a scam.
He must admit they did a thorough research interviewing family members and colleagues. Some of his relatives gave varying versions of 'we always knew he was secretly dating her' and 'mostly that year when he tried to pass some drunken redhead for his girlfriend just to cover his tracks and push his uncle to accept his union to Tenten.'
His inner self grumbled yet again at the mention of this woman. No one was ever going to let him live down freaking Tayuya.
A few of their colleagues at The Gen had also spoken. 'Everybody knew it was bound to happen. They were oozing with…love.' Ino had been quoted directly, and he scowled, knowing full well where the blonde's psychiatrist was first headed in her initial non-censored quote.
'They were like hot, hot. Like really, really hot.' One nurse commented. 'They didn't just hate each other. You could see there was something they were clearly trying to hide.' One hospital admin staff added.
'I'm pretty sure she wanted me at first, but I don't mind that she ended up with my good friend.' One anonymous person said, which Neji would bet anything, could only be Kiba and his sly smirk.
Up until that point, it was all in good spirits. Neji couldn't wait for Tenten to arrive at the venue so he could share the gossip and they could mock the poor gullible souls who had believed those conjectures. She'd probably find it as amusing as he did that they wouldn't even have to make an effort to keep their false pretence afloat since it was already taken care of by everyone else.
But then, towards the end of the article, they had quoted an old classmate of Tenten. 'We all thought she'd end up marrying her boyfriend Deidara, so it comes as a surprise for us that they both parted ways.'
That's when the seed planted itself, like a dormant, highly flammable spark, already poisoning his mind. It's not that he was jealous; it's that he couldn't even stand this man he had never met. The more he discovered Tenten, the more she told him about how Deidara had treated her in their relationship, the more he despised the blonde artist.
How could someone like Tenten, so exceptional in every way, ever hold this bastard high enough in her opinion to even consider the idiocy that he sputtered?
It was unfair. This irascibility that was mounting it was all so unfair for Tenten, who had confided in him with rare vulnerability about her past relationship. Yet, he couldn't help but be markedly vexed.
He didn't even know when it had started, when the coals started gleaming amber-like fire, when was the first spark or if it had been there all along, dormant. Was it back in Haepo when she first told him about how he had cheated on her? Calling her average? Was it something he had inhaled furiously skiing down the slopes of Haepo Mountain to save this madwoman from the Devil's Drop? Did it go as far back as his initial frustration with her, with their first night when she drove him mad like an aggravating sin crawling under his skin he couldn't get rid of?
The start of it all was, in Neji's pragmatic opinion, utterly inconsequential in the end. It had entered his core through some careless unawareness on his part. Like a parasite, it had sunk somewhere deep in his heart, some sort of dark, viscous, clingy resentment. Poisonous ire that spread through his veins like idle embers ready to burst at any minor disturbance.
He had stayed silent and watched. He watched Tenten's heartbreak over this man be evident in her eyes when family members brought up her old lover again.
Lover.
The simple idea of Tenten calling anyone that way left a bitter, acrid taste in his mouth he hadn't been able to shake except for that moment when they kissed under the mistletoe, washed away with the sweetest ache and growing yearning.
Her eyes showed ache and longing for another man in ways that mocked him, mocked his ability to ever mend her by his own affection. Affection he could not deny anymore. Infatuations that had taken cover under misguided infuriation and pretend altercations; they were pretexts so they could hide from consuming sentiments they were both not ready to allow in their lives. Out of sheer stupidity and unwillingness to allow real intimacy.
Neji couldn't even know how it had evolved so surreptitiously, his obsession with Tenten sneakily creeping while he thought he was in perfect control until he wasn't anymore.
First, there was something, anger, misled urgency translated as hate. Then there was nothing, an oblivion of sorts, a limbo for feelings unnamed. And all at once, there was everything. Everything Neji had ever desired, known and unknown, named and unnamed, admitted and disavowed.
Tenten became everything in the space of mere days. It had all imploded like a supernova of troubling reality, blinding and unforgiving of his excuses anymore. All his repressed emotions were like thousands of tiny explosions on his skin whenever she was near, a million little prickles on his skin like a physical manifestation of the numerous blasts his ego had suffered.
Damned, damned woman.
Damn her and the spell she had put on him.
Damn her and her silly pleasantries. Damn her wit, her caring eyes, loving touch, warmth, the spicy notes of her smell that tingled his senses when she came a bit too close. Damn her soft-spoken words in the middle of the night, and damn how she had absorbed all of him, all he had never wanted to be, all he had forced himself to be; all his triumphs and lackings, the parts of him he proclaimed and the others had disowned. She had embraced it all so willingly, so earnestly.
Seven miserable days.
That was all it took to have unrooted thirty years of his existence, sending him soaring with unprecedented recklessness. Spontaneity never being his forte, it was troubling how spontaneously he had combusted for this wicked woman. His impulse to live now throbbed to the beating of her heart like war drums preluding to disaster.
Then she had the audacity to appear as she did, so breathtakingly, painstakingly beautiful. He didn't know if he should scorn Fu or thank her profusely because Tenten was a sight to be seen, yet a sight he had no will to share with the hundreds of other attendees.
Although her whole countenance exuded a charm he was already hypnotized by, her eyes drew his attention the most. Heartbroken, sombre eyes, just like he had seen on the features of Kakashi and Anko earlier that day. It was more than he could take than to see her still torn over Deidara, over someone who wasn't him when he was the one holding her.
That's when his turmoil caught fire, like an incendiary tornado.
All evening had been excruciating silent ire, only calmed by at least knowing she was his, for the time being, her body at least, if not in spirit and in mind. God knows where her thoughts had wandered, how far away from him had they travelled.
It was sickening, really, the peevish fool he had become. Envious, scaldingly greedy of her, the mere idea of Tenten thinking and yearning for another sent him in absolute disarray.
Therefore, all evening, he focused on what he still had, banishing reflections about their soon-ending schemes that would leave him berated from her life once again.
No. Certainly, no.
He would not think about the end tonight, not when she looked the way she did. Not when he only recently discovered the lushness of her vibrant mind, her tender nature and her genius wit. It was excruciating, having her so near and yet feeling so estranged. To hold her, carry her, to seize her hands and take possession of the small of her back; yet she remained as closed off to him as he was to her.
He dived into her eyes like a cenote to her soul, trying to decipher what she was withholding from him, her desire for someone she was supposed to have grieved, craving someone other than him.
And who was he, really, to lay claim to her heart?
To feel so entitled to her sentiments and affections when all he had to show for their liaison was a crafted accord to help both their situations? All she had required of him was that he plays his part well, and now he arrogantly empowered himself to consume all her love as if it had ever belonged truly to him.
But fire ran deep in the fabric of his psyche. Avidly selfish of her favours, of her spoken words, of her undivided attention. He couldn't control it. He wanted her, for longer than for this concluding masquerade.
Mad.
She drove him mad. Utterly, incomprehensibly insane. Inanely delirious.
The anger may have flared unknowingly in the last few days, but it had exploded rabidly in the seconds it took for her to look at him with those soul-wrenching eyes.
He couldn't bring himself to say it, but he could feel it.
How could she let her heart wander in unforgiving waters when he felt it was only fitting that she be his and his alone for all purpose and matters?
Couldn't she see, couldn't she feel how crazy she made him, how possessed and haunted by her he had been? Unable to leave her side, unable to stand his fingers not grazing her skin. Holding her hand all throughout conversations like a lovesick moron, afraid she'd leave out of boredom if he released her, even if for only half a second.
How.
How had he come to this?
To pacing in front of the women's bathroom. Pacing.
Even his uncle had noticed the circles he had burned on the crimson carpet, to the older man's most divine enjoyment. If tranquil to an outsider, Hiashi knew better than that. This was as much bereaved and perturbed as Neji could be, and the slight sigh of relief when she finally came out was not left unnoticed by the clan head.
How can you burn for someone so furiously yet never feel depleted from what the fire had consumed within you? As if flames nourished themselves from some unquenchable desire unknown to one's own mind.
He had thought that after their agreement on their first night, he'd have her out of his system, but he only succeeded in letting the poison in. Now, each second in her company only heightened needs he had been successful in ignoring before. Instead of freedom from her, he enslaved himself to her whims the moment he let his lips roam her body, the moment her desire became his light, guiding him through to ecstasy.
Damned, he was damned. She was heaven squared, and she had cursed him twice as much.
"Tenten."
Her name escaped his lips. She had grown even more restless this evening, short-winded, her bust noticeably heaving up and down in apparent nervousness. Her conflicted emotions were evident to him, and Neji could not take it anymore.
Brazen.
She tried to dodge his scrutiny, and he would not have it, not now, not when worry seemed to eat him alive. He brought her back to him, his fingers slipping in the tangled mess of expertly curated curls, his heart beating faster, scared that anytime now, she was going to doom him.
'I think I still love him.'
He was afraid those words would find a way out of her tormented brain. He would have laughed at his paranoïa if he hadn't been so apprehensive, his calculating eyes searching for any elements he could compute to confirm or deny his distressing concern.
"What is it?" He urged her, bringing her eyes back on his, internally cringing at how desperate he sounded to his own ears.
"Tenten," He commanded her again, his tone sharper, on edge, like the threat of a sword on a tender, pulsing neckline.
He needed to know, to take himself out of this misery.
Like a conjured demon, Deidara had appeared when he was ready to voice his thoughts. Neji couldn't even remember what had been said between the man and Tenten. All he could remember was the light illuminating her features when she finally saw him. She suddenly seemed so light-hearted.
His chest constricted most brutally. It was more than he could bear, the sight of her gleaming eyes looking back at the man she was trying to make jealous. That he was helping make jealous, he was an accomplice to the murder of his own deluded hopes. He couldn't help it, the way his hand gripped her hip with renewed force, he was holding on to shreds of what he had left with her, rolling down paths that had crossed for a brief moment and that would straighten away from each other.
And how he didn't want that, not in the least bit.
Oh, how he had hoped against all common sense that he could have it. That he could have all he had dared to dream of Tenten, with her, when she waltzed in his subconscious with her enticing smile, making him renounce all aspiration to rid his thoughts of her. How derisive it seemed currently, this future that was clearly unthinkable now that he saw the joy exuding from her delicate face once she was reunited with her ex-boyfriend.
"My fiancée, yes." He had proclaimed so haughtily.
He wanted that man to know that, at least in this plan of theirs, Deidara was nothing.
"Wait-!" Deidara put a hand on Tenten, and Neji's hand clenched. It wouldn't do to punch the blond man in front of so many people reunited.
"We should go." Neji tugged Tenten's hand before he would do something regrettable.
"I'm sorry," She told him. "We'll soon be done with the plan."
The plan.
She reminded him once again of his real purpose with her, of his place in her life. Of course, it would all soon be done, and dead, and gone.
"It's almost midnight," Neji replied, his tone colder than he had intended it to be, but he needed the emotional distance now he felt like he was losing it. "Maybe you should join Temari on that stage. I'm going to go get a drink."
"Oh," She seemed to hesitate. "Sure."
Neji hated himself at that moment. If the heartbreak in her eyes was Deidara's, the heartbreak in her voice was all his.
Shame rose like a heatstroke when, deep down, he felt satisfied by that notion.
At least there was something of hers he possessed.
A/N: This chapter I changed my writing style to something a bit more intense and descriptive to build up a bit on the storm of emotions inhabiting them and amp up the tension. Don't mind me using a little miscommunication trope to raise the stake a bit higher, hehe.
Would love some thoughts on this chapter, heavily influence by my current obsession with everything-Bridgerton.