Chapter 2 – Fuck Everything Up
Rey blinked her eyes open and immediately shut them against the bright light. She gingerly sat up, majorly disoriented. Where was Ben? She had to get him to a healer and protect him from the Resistance's ire.
"Hey," A deep voice said softly.
Rey turned to the bed next to her, only a foot away. Ben was sitting cross-legged and staring at her with those soulful brown eyes. He looked perfectly healthy and amazingly calm for a former member of the First Order in the middle of the Resistance base.
"Take it easy," he urged her, glancing over her form with worried eyes. "We've been through a lot in the past couple of days."
"I know," Rey sighed, rubbing her sore shoulder. "How long have we been unconscious?"
"I don't know," Ben shrugged. "Your friends won't answer my questions."
"Have they hurt you?" asked Rey in alarm. The memory of her friends firing at her and Ben haunted her. She wouldn't have thought them capable of doing something like it.
"Aren't you more worried about me hurting them?" Ben raised an eyebrow.
"Not right now," Rey admitted. "They tried to kill you when we arrived."
"They did what?" asked Ben calmly, though sparks flew in his eyes.
"It's alright now," Rey said urgently, trying to derail a rampage before it started. "We were badly injured. Our dyad was drained, so I barely had any resources left to heal you. I managed to get us here, but we were waylaid on the way to the medic tents. When they saw you, they just…" She sighed heavily.
"They didn't just fire at me, did they?" Ben asked seriously as he looked at her bare arms, which were covered in faint red circles. He swallowed hard, his hands clenching into fists.
"Poe stopped them just in time," Rey covered the faint remnants of the injuries. "I'm really alright, Ben."
"I can't say I'm shocked they took their chance to shoot me, but I'm surprised your friends are capable of firing on you," Ben's eyes took on a red tinge as his face hardened into an expression that was more Kylo Ren than Ben Solo. "Aren't you supposed to be their Jedi hero?"
"Everyone makes mistakes, including me," Rey said. "I shouldn't have tried to carry you through the base, but I wasn't thinking. They were just frightened."
Ben said nothing to that. His eyes flicked to the tent exit, where people were walking to and fro.
"Maybe it's just as well that they attacked us," Rey leaned forward, gaining Ben's full attention again. She couldn't let him leave the tent with murder in mind. It would destroy any progress they'd made with the rebels. "If that hadn't happened, then your parents wouldn't have appeared and saved you."
"My parents are dead, Rey," Ben said curtly.
"They appeared through the Force and healed you," Rey said, smiling at the memory. "My parents were there and so was Luke. There were other presences there too. I don't know who they were, but they were there to support us. The Resistance may not like you, but they revered Han, Leia, and Luke. They won't push you away now, not without hearing your side of the story, at least."
"I can already tell you what their judgment will be," Ben said sourly, but without his usual bite. He looked shocked that his family had come to his aid, even his uncle.
"Ben, please," Rey pleaded. This was something she couldn't let him sabotage. "Please don't do anything to antagonize the Resistance any further. I think we have a real chance of getting them to let you stay. Please? For me?"
Rey waited with bated breath. They could go out on their own, find a nice planet to settle on, and get on with their lives. But Rey didn't know if she could be completely happy doing that, knowing she'd left her friends behind. Poe and Finn were her best friends, their friendship forged through the battles they'd fought side-by-side together and strengthened by the many hours they'd spent on the Falcon for missions. She'd be devastated if she had to leave them behind. But she'd do it if it meant Ben would be safe. She prayed she wouldn't be forced to make that decision.
Ben stared at her, heavy doubt in his eyes. Whatever he saw in her expression must have changed his mind, because he marginally relaxed and sighed heavily.
"I would do anything for you, Rey," he said softly. "You know that."
"Thank you," Rey beamed at him. "I know it will be hard, but everything is going to be okay so long as we have each other."
She leaned forward to put a comforting hand on his knee and yelped as her hand passed through him and landed on the cot. She glanced up at him in shock.
"Yeah, I'm not really here," Ben said apologetically. "They wouldn't let me come see you, so I found another way."
"I'm surprised you didn't force your way through them," said Rey as she settled back on the cot.
Why couldn't they touch each other? They'd been able to in the past. Maybe it was due to their weakened states. Their dyad must be really drained.
"I considered it," Ben said, grinning wryly.
He pushed his long hair back behind an ear and the light glinted off something on his wrist.
"What's that on your wrists?" Rey leaned forward curiously to examine the bands. "You didn't have those before."
The material was like nothing she'd ever seen before, even when she'd worked as a scavenger. The black metal was unnaturally smooth and continuous. Now that she'd noticed it, she could feel a faint tugging from it. Chills ran down Rey's spine as a dark expression flitted across Ben's face. It was gone as quickly as it had arrived.
"Nothing you need to worry about right now," Ben said smoothly, but there was an underlying tone to his words. He was utterly pissed off about something. He continued as Rey was about to push for a more cogent answer. "I'll explain later."
His gaze darted to the tent entrance. "It looks like I have visitors."
"Be nice," Rey warned him. "I'll be there as soon as I can."
"I make no promises," Ben gave her a cheeky wink and he faded away like a mirage in the desert.
Rey rolled her eyes and snorted in amusement at Ben's antics. She stood up ungracefully, pressing a hand to her back and channeling minute bits of energy to wash away the aches and pains. She didn't dare try to use more energy until she recovered more, lest she'd relapse and likely fall into a coma. She slid on her boots and wound the beige gauze-like wrap around her torso that someone had been kind enough to wash and stitch for her; there were barely any tears in the material. She secured the fabric with a belt and attached her lightsabers to it. She was tying up her hair into her preferred three-bun style when the tent flap opened and Larma D'Acy walked in.
"Rey!" The Resistance commander looked a little surprised to see her awake but mostly pleased. "Thank the stars. Everyone has been so worried about you."
"I feel great," Rey said, spreading her arms. "Not even a scratch left," She moved towards the exit. "If you'll excuse me, I have somewhere to be."
"Not so fast, young lady," Larma reprimanded her, gently guiding her back to the bed. She took out a medical scanner. "I'll be the judge of your health."
Rey shifted restlessly as Larma moved the scanner over her, earning several pointed stares. She couldn't help it; she was practically vibrating with the need to go to Ben's side, to protect him if need be.
"I know you're worried about Ben," Larma said gently as she grabbed a second device and checked Rey's eyes.
"You do?" Rey asked as the penlight moved over her eyes, dumbfounded the commander knew her thoughts.
"It's clear to me you have a bond with the boy," Larma said.
"The Force bonded us together," Rey said slowly. "I don't know why. It just happened one day."
"I see," Larma nodded.
The commander calmly put the devices away and tapped away on a reader, presumably clearing Rey with a clean bill of health.
"And… you're okay with that?" Rey asked curiously. Everyone else had been revolted at her defense of Ben or had tried to convince her of his evilness. So why wasn't Larma doing the same?
Larma sighed and sat down next to Rey and grasped her hands. "Most of the Resistance you see today joined long after the fall of the empire and the destruction of the new Jedi Order. They only know of Kylo Ren and the atrocities he's committed as a leader of the First Order," she explained. "But I knew Ben as a child. I taught him how to patch wounds and work a command console. I was the first to witness him use his abilities with the Force. He levitated a distraught Loth-cat out of a hole it was trapped in," Larma's warm, reminiscent smile turned sad. "When he turned to the dark side and joined the First Order, I was devastated. I knew it had to be some sort of mistake. The sweet child I knew couldn't be the monster I kept hearing about in the Resistance reports," Larma took in a shuddering breath and squeezed Rey's hands. "But then you came along and everything changed. Leia had hope in her eyes again, as did Han when he returned with you. I knew you would be the one to bring Ben back into the light."
"You don't mind that we're… together?" Rey asked. Larma may be happy that she'd separated Ben from his Kylo Ren persona, but that didn't mean she approved of any budding relationship between the two of them.
"As long as you both are happy, tell everyone who doesn't approve to fuck off," Larma said strongly.
Rey hugged her, almost unreasonably happy that someone was on her side in this matter. Larma chuckled and patted her back.
"It seems you've recovered nicely," The commander stood up and beckoned Rey to follow her. "Come. We have a meeting to attend. The Resistance leadership has reached a verdict regarding Ben's presence at this base."
"They've already decided?" Rey asked worriedly. She'd missed that meeting? Fear and panic enveloped her. She'd hoped to get a word in on Ben's behalf. What if they'd already sent him away?
"Yes, we have," Larma said, heading out of the tent. "The general and the rest of the commanders have already discussed it. We couldn't wait for you to wake up."
Rey followed on her heels, multiple scenarios cropping up in her mind. Dread permeated every molecule of her being as they reached the command center.
-oOoOoOo-
"Who were you talking to?" asked the Resistance fighter.
Ben raised an eyebrow at the man, refusing to answer. He didn't know him and he certainly wasn't privy to his conversations with Rey. The guard gulped and pointed his blaster at Ben.
"The general and commanders are ready to see you," He gestured for Ben to stand up.
"It's about time," Ben muttered, standing up and dusting off his battered trousers.
"Just shut up and move," the man growled, jamming his blaster into his back and shoving him forward out the tent.
Ben swallowed his rage and repressed the urge to shove the man into a stack of nearby boxes. The two other guards pointed their weapons at him as he moved into the sunlight.
"Move," repeated the guard at his back, digging the weapon deeper into his spine.
Quick as a flash, Ben turned and tugged the blaster from his grip. The man stumbled back, turning white as a sheet.
"Order me again and I'll break your back," Ben snarled and tossed the weapon to one of the other guards. She was older than the other two and seemed to be in charge.
"Cut it out, Winn," the woman directed at her subordinate and returned the blaster with a warning glance.
"But he-" Winn protested, turning an interesting shade of red.
"You antagonized him. What did you expect to happen?" she said calmly. "You lead the way to the command center. Jecob, take the rear."
Winn grumbled but did as the woman directed. Ben smirked slightly; someone had their head on straight here. They walked through the base, seemingly taking the long way around. Ben watched as people went about their daily tasks: fixing water reclaimers, refueling starfighters, working with droids to repair engines. A few of them noticed his passage and stopped their work to stare at him. Quite a few of them were looking at him like they'd love to tear his head off. Ben was unaffected by it. Such looks had ceased to bother him long ago.
They stopped outside a larger tent draped in thick bolts of tan cloth, presumably the command center. The two male guards opened the flap and Ben was marched in by the lead guard.
"Kylo Ren for you, general, commanders," she said, nudging him forward towards the Resistance leaders.
Ben recognized most of them. Poe looked like he hadn't slept in days and his neck was covered in purple finger-shaped bruises. That traitorous stormtrooper stood next to him, glaring daggers at Ben. What was his name again? He was wearing that brown jacket with red accents. Ben didn't think he'd ever seen him wear anything else. Chewie stood near the control panels of a comm system, growling softly to a woman nearly half his size. Light flashed off of a crescent-shaped pendant around her neck as she turned. The only person Ben didn't recognize was the humanoid woman who was crossing her arms and putting her hands on her waist simultaneously with her four upper limbs. She had two large incisor fangs that gently rested on her bottom lip and pitch-black eyes and seemed to stare directly into his soul.
"Thank you, Captain Gser," said Poe, dismissing the guard with a nod.
"So you're leading the Resistance now?" Ben said with disbelief as she left the room. The idea of Poe being in charge of anyone, let alone the Resistance, was absurd. "Is the Resistance really that lacking in leaders?"
"We've had to do a lot of restructuring," Poe replied calmly, though his fists curled into tight balls, revealing his true feelings. "Our original leadership was killed during the chase to Crait. But you remember that."
Ben swallowed hard. Yes, he remembered perfectly. He'd been sent to attack the small fleet of Resistance ships before they went out of range of the larger star destroyers. He'd had the chance to destroy the bridge of the main Resistance ship, but he'd hesitated when he felt his mother's presence. Ultimately, he hadn't been able to push the button to fire, but two other TIE-fighter pilots hadn't had that problem. He still remembered the way his stomach dropped when the bridge had exploded into flames. He'd shot down those two pilots of course.
"The Resistance made me their general and Leia agreed with them," Poe continued. "So yes, you have to deal with me whether you like it or not."
The tent flap opened again and an older woman with curly blonde hair stepped in. Ben recognized her immediately. Larma had been as close to him as his own mother.
"I'm sorry we're late, general," she apologized, calm and collected as always.
Rey stepped in after her, those beautiful hazel eyes flitting around the room to land on him. She smiled and relaxed as if a great weight had been lifted off her shoulders. She smiled at him and Ben returned it as she came to him and grasped his hand.
"Don't worry about it, Commander D'Acy," Poe said, not taking his eyes off Ben. "He just got here."
"So what have you decided to do with me, general?" Ben asked sarcastically. "So far you've confined me in a room and locked away my powers. I can't wait to see what you'll do next."
Rey squeezed his hand, warning him to behave.
"I want to throw you into the lake and let the carnivorous fish eat you," Poe said grimly. "And Finn agrees with me."
"Yes, I do," Finn said, the leather jacket creaking a little as he crossed his arms. Ben supposed he hadn't been forgiven for slicing his back open on Ilum.
A guttural roar reverberated through the tent and Chewie stood and howled at Poe. Ben fought to keep the smirk off his face as the Wookiee berated Poe.
"But the rest of my commanders don't agree with me," Poe continued with a stony face. "Considering your former position in the First Order and General Leia's last orders, we've decided to let you stay at our base on a probationary basis. You'll be given quarters and be allowed to walk freely through the base. In return, you'll provide us with intel on the First Order and participate in daily maintenance tasks."
"Three guards will be assigned to you," said the four-armed commander, her black eyes staring steadfastly at him. He couldn't even see her pupils. "They will be a permanent fixture for the foreseeable future.
"I can protect myself just fine, even with suppressor cuffs on," Ben thrust his hands forward to show off the bands. "You just want to make sure someone can shoot me down if I do something you don't like."
"Wait, what are those cuffs for?" Rey asked, glancing at Poe.
"They inhibit my ability to wield the Force," Ben supplied before Poe could explain.
"Poe, how could you!" Rey shouted, horror strewn across her features. "Would you accept it if I stopped you from being a pilot?"
Ben knew Rey would understand, especially as she was Force-sensitive. None of the other Resistance fighters could possibly understand what kind of toll this was taking on him. He'd grown accustomed to using the Force for everything from reading people to predicting events on the battlefield; it was a part of him. To be cut off from wielding it was frightening. They thought they were just inhibiting his ability to push them around, but Ben would liken it more to lopping a limb off and being unable to replace it with a mechanical appendage.
"It's necessary, Rey," Finn said. "We can't trust him."
"He saved my life on Exogol! He helped defeat Palpatine!" Rey argued passionately, refusing to let them vilify him further. Ben loved her for that. "Without him, we would have lost!"
"It won't be for forever, Rey," said the small woman with the pendant. "Just until we can be certain he won't betray or hurt us."
"We can be certain of that now," Rey gritted her teeth.
The tent dissolved into silence with Rey locked in a glaring contest with the other Resistance leaders.
"Enough," Larma said decisively, stepping forward to break the tension. "We'll discuss this further in one month's time. Until then, we treat Ben as one of our own."
Rey opened her mouth to argue more, but Ben gripped her hand and pulled her back. There was no point in arguing. The Resistance leaders had already made up their minds and they were giving him more leeway than he thought they would. Besides, Poe was the only one capable of deactivating the cuffs and he sure wasn't going to do that anytime soon. He'd find another way to remove the damn cuffs.
A bell tolled outside, signaling something.
"Perfect timing," Larma said brightly, trying to lighten the mood. "Mid-day meal commences soon. We should all get something to eat."
"Great," Poe mumbled, exiting the tent.
Rey gave Ben a reassuring smile and gently tugged him past the threshold. They were followed by the three guards from before. Ben didn't feel as confident as Rey. He was being thrown to the sharks without his greatest weapon to defend himself. He knew the Resistance fighters weren't going to receive him well. The question was just how intense was their reaction going to be?
They entered a small clearing filled with plastic tables and benches. Some Resistance fighters were already eating and some were in line, gathering their portions of vegetables, fruits, and what looked like fried native birds. A low murmuring filled the outdoor canteen as they noticed him.
"A warm welcome, just like I predicted," Ben muttered under his breath.
"Don't be so pessimistic," Rey encouraged him. "They just need time to get to know you. Let's get something to eat."
Ben let go of her hand as she tried to tug him forward to join the line.
"I'm not sure I'd trust your friends not to poison me," he said, noticing the not-so-friendly glares coming from the people serving the food.
"You need to eat, Ben," Rey urged him. "It's been days since we last ate something."
"I'll grab some of those," Ben nodded to the bright red fruits dangling from the branches above them. Those were the same fruits the Resistance fighters were eating. He could climb up and eat to his heart's content.
Rey reached up with a hand, her brow crinkling in concentration. Several round fruits shivered and fell. Rey gently guided them to an empty table. Up close, the fruits were more of a reddish-purple color with slightly raised bumps; a faint aroma of sweetness radiated from it, making Ben's mouth water. They sat down and grabbed a fruit each; they were about to bite into them when Poe and Finn walked up.
"Rey, we need to talk," Poe said curtly.
"Not now," Rey returned, not glancing up at them.
"This isn't about him," Finn's eyes darted to Ben and then back to Rey. "It's about something else."
There was something solemn yet urgent about their demeanors, but Ben couldn't place it. Rey obviously sensed it too because she put down her fruit and looked at him apologetically.
"I'll be fine," Ben assured her. He'd dealt with worse than ruffled Resistance fighters before.
"Okay, I'll be back soon," Rey kissed his cheek and stood up to go with her friends.
Ben couldn't hold back a blush, so he tried to hide it by biting into the fruit. It was crunchy and tart, yet it had a very sweet aftertaste. He devoured it and moved on to another, ignoring the guards at his back. Captain Gser was very professional, but another guard was just oozing animosity in his direction. He was the one who'd try to crack his spine with a blaster.
A tray plunked down on the table and Ben glanced up, wondering who was brave enough to sit next to the infamous Kylo Ren. Curious brown eyes met his gaze, examining him; it was one of the commanders.
"I'll take it from here, Captain," she said, dismissing his guard. "You and your men go get something to eat."
"Yes, Commander Tico," Gser said, holstering her blaster and gesturing for the other two guards to do the same. They headed off to join the line, interacting easily with the people around them.
"Are you sure you don't want to keep them around?" Ben asked as he bit into another fruit. "I might make a run for it."
"If you were going to try to escape, you would have done it by now," she said confidently. "In any case, you should know I'm quite good with an electro-shock prod," She patted the stunning device on her waist. "Poe asked me to keep an eye on you until he's done briefing your new guards."
"I don't need babysitters if I can't use the Force," Ben muttered around a mouthful of fruit.
"I'm sorry about the cuffs," she said as she used her cutlery to cut up her food. "But we all feel safer knowing you can't shove us around or choke us."
"That's not what the Force is used for," Ben retorted. The Resistance had a bunch of Jedi on their side for many years. How could they be so ignorant?
"That's what you use the Force for," she said plainly, biting into a piece of fried bird.
Ben had no good answer to that, so he stared off into the jungle. She was right; he'd mostly used the Force to intimidate and coerce the people who stood up to him, especially his enemies. His stomach growled a little as the scent of crispy bird wafted over him in full force. A handful of fruits wasn't going to be enough to satisfy his hunger, but he wasn't about to beg his former enemies for food.
"So what's your story?" asked the commander curiously.
"I'm surprised you don't already know," Ben said sarcastically. He's sure she already knows the tale of Kylo Ren and his fall to the dark side. Who didn't?
"I've heard a lot of stories," she nodded, sipping some water. "But not from your lips."
"Why do you care?" Ben shot back.
"I didn't," she said earnestly. "You were a monster in charge of the organization who killed my parents and my sister. You couldn't have cared less if the Resistance was obliterated from existence. After all, you led the attack on Crait which almost finished us off. But after the Battle of Exogol, Rey carried you into this base and shielded you with her own body when our people panicked and fired on you. Then your parents and other Force ghosts appeared and healed you from those injuries. Why would they do that if you haven't changed? So what's your story?"
"I doubt it'll differ from anything you've heard," Ben said dispassionately.
"Humor me," she insisted.
"Everything you think you know about me is probably true," Ben shrugged nonchalantly. "I destroyed the new Jedi Order, joined the First Order, and led a ruthless crusade to rule the galaxy."
"Yes, but why?" she asked.
"Why what?" Ben asked, confused at this line of questioning.
"Why did you turn to the dark side?" she clarified. "You're the son of Leia Organa and Han Solo, the most revered Resistance leaders in our history. Your uncle was Luke Skywalker, the first Jedi in the galaxy after the eradication of the first Jedi Order. You grew up with heroes who fought to destroy the Galactic Empire and free the galaxy of Palpatine and Vader's tyrannical rule. I know you turned your back on all of it, but I just don't understand why."
"I grew up with a great many expectations thrust upon me," Ben said. Why was he confiding in this woman? He barely knew her, but there was something about her. She was easy to talk to. "I was expected to be a great pilot, leader, Jedi, and much more. And I was fine with that. It was easy. I loved learning how to pilot a starfighter with my father. My mother and other generals of the Rebel Alliance taught me how to be a leader. When Luke expressed interest in training me to be a Jedi, I was ecstatic. He was my idol, a role model of what I wanted to become as an adult. I threw myself into my studies, determined to be the best Jedi Knight possible."
"That doesn't sound so bad," the commander said, tilting her head in confusion.
"It wasn't. I had everything I'd ever dreamed about," Ben's mood turned dark as he remembered what had sent his world crashing down around him. "But then my uncle tried to murder me in my sleep."
The memory of his beloved uncle standing over him with an ignited lightsaber haunted him to this day. In fact, that betrayal was what he'd used to fuel his anger whenever he felt the slightest bit of calling to the light.
"Luke Skywalker?" she said with disbelief. "He would never do something like that."
"I thought so too once upon a time," Ben huffed. Of course she would believe the great Luke Skywalker had no faults. "But he did. I saw my world for what it was in that moment. Everyone had put on a façade around me, pretending to support me when in reality they were waiting for me to turn to the dark side." Looking back on his childhood memories, Ben had seen how cautious everyone had been around him, how they'd whispered behind his back. "They didn't accept me as one of their own and they never would."
"You can't know that," she said. "It might have just been your mind warping your memories."
"I know what I saw," Ben said grimly. "In any case, it's too late now. With my reputation as the Jedi Killer and leader of the First Order, your Resistance will always see me as the enemy."
"But you helped defeat Palpatine. You have a chance to change our perception of you," she said, reaching out to touch his hand. She quickly retreated as he trained an icy glare on her.
"Why should I bother when I know it won't do any good?" he asked darkly. He knew how the Resistance fighters operated. They'd never forgive him for his misdeeds.
"You won't know unless you try," she said.
Ben didn't reply. It would be a waste of breath. She would soon learn that her persistence was futile. His stomach growled a little louder this time, but Ben gamely ignored it.
"Here."
A bread roll was thrust in his direction and Ben looked up at the commander in surprise. Why was she offering him food? He'd all but said he wasn't going to help the Resistance. He took the offering cautiously. From what he could garner from the Force, it didn't seem like she was being disingenuous. He scarfed down the roll in two bites; it was flaky and a bit chewy and still warm from the oven.
"I'm Rose, by the way," she said, smiling at him. "Can I call you Kylo?"
"I'd prefer Ben," he grunted, still not sure why he was being so friendly to this woman.
"Okay, Ben," Rose said cheerily. "Let's go meet your guards and then I'll show you around the base."
They left the canteen and walked towards a dense grouping of tents.
"This is where everyone sleeps," Rose indicated. "We'll set up a tent for you tonight."
They walked to the edge of the base into an arena of sorts. There were targets set up in the distance and an assortment of blasters and staffs in storage containers. Three individuals were speaking with each other next to the bins.
"This is where our fighters train," Rose explained. "Though Rey has her own training course that runs through the jungle." She waved over the people. "These three have agreed to be your guards. Captain Mixa Ivin, Sertali Hils, and Aarzio Tam."
Ben raised an eyebrow at the unique group. He had to give Poe some credit for his choice of guards. Appointing a Zeltron was smart; the captain had the ability to experience the emotions of people around them. It was even rumored that they could control a person's emotions. One of the guards was a Selonian; she was taller than all of them and struck a formidable figure with her glossy brown fur, fangs, and curled claws. Her whiskers bristled at the end of her pointed face as she stared at him with angled black eyes. The last guard was a human with generic features, but his demeanor labeled him as anything but ordinary; he had the look of someone who had seen many battles and would give no quarter.
"Well then," Rose clapped her hands as the silence stretched on. "Why don't we take a tour of the base."
The guards fell into line behind Ben as Rose showed him around the base. Many hours passed as she showed him everything from where the mechanics fixed the base equipment to the starfighter landing spaces to the food storage and prep areas and, of course, the location of the latrines.
Ben got a bad feeling as they passed by a large stack of storage bins Rose was saying held medical supplies like bacta and gauze strips. The hairs on the back of his neck stood up and he could swear he felt someone watching him. He registered a swishing motion through the Force, just barely recognizing what it signified in time to react.
He grabbed the collar of Rose's tunic and dragged her backward with him; there was no time to be cordial about it. His guards shouted in surprise and drew their weapons on him, but Ben ignored them. A dull silver staff collided with a storage bin, the clang echoing through the area. He'd reacted in time to save his and Rose's heads from being bashed in.
"Winn! What are you doing?" exclaimed one of his guards.
"Step away from him, Aarzio," Winn ordered, murder in his eyes. "This doesn't concern you."
"Our orders are clear," Captain Ivin said, stepping in front of Ben. "The general and his commanders have decreed Kylo Ren is not to be harmed. Lay down your weapon and leave peacefully."
"Poe has lost his mind, letting this piece of scum into the base," Winn snarled. "As have all of you if you're guarding this murderer. Have you forgotten so easily what he's done? He's not even sorry about it. How much are you being paid to turn a blind eye?"
The captain's red skin turned a deeper shade of red and his tone became angry. "We have not forgotten, but that has no bearing on the matter at hand. We are loyal to the Resistance. General Dameron has his reasons for letting him stay and we trust him completely."
"Yeah, well, we don't," Winn said. Five others stepped out from behind the maze of storage containers, each brandishing a weapon.
"Enough!" Rose barked out. "You may not like the general's decision, but you have to live with it. I know you're upset, but this is not the way to deal with your anger."
"Actually, I think this is the perfect way," Winn brandished his staff and swung it at Ben with a shout.
Ben watched him approach with amusement. He wasn't attacking with any semblance of speed and his form was completely off. This would be almost too easy. But before he could wrestle the staff from Winn, the violent hum of electricity filled the air. Winn's shout morphed into a high-pitched squeal as Rose zapped him with an electro-shock prod. The man flew backward and landed on the hard-packed earth with a thud.
"Stand down," Rose ordered the rest of his friends.
"I wish we could, Rose," One woman said regretfully.
As one, the remaining four adversaries attacked. Ben's guards were slow to pull out their blasters. Even then, they hesitated to fire, probably unwilling to shoot their friends. They resorted to using their fists instead, bringing one fighter down together. Ben pushed Rose out of the way and easily dodged a blow and grabbed a staff from a baby-faced Resistance fighter. With a quick snap, Ben knocked him out with a strike to the temple. He'd be fine, but he'd wake up with a hell of a headache. Ben whirled around, easily blocking strikes. If he was being honest, he was rather enjoying himself. Fighting was something he understood very well. The fight drew attention and a crowd formed around them, consisting of what seemed like the entire base, some cheering Ben's opponents on.
"What the hell is going on here!" Poe shouted, shoving his way through the crowd. Ben's assailants stopped and moved back, resentful looks taking over their faces at the appearance of their general.
"We're doing what you don't have the balls to do!" Winn shouted. One of his friends was supporting him as the electro-shock prod had immobilized him. The crowd shouted in agreement.
"He's a murderer! Why are we protecting him?"
"We can't just act like he didn't do anything!"
"Murderer!"
"Monster!"
"Kill him!"
Ben growled loudly and took a lunging step towards the angry mob, anger and rage boiling inside of him. Did they think he chose to be here? If he'd had a choice, he would have chosen to live anywhere else but with the Resistance. The crowd stepped back in fright, properly cowed. Good.
"Do you think I'm happy about this?" Poe shot back. "I know better than all of you what he's capable of and what he's done. I wouldn't allow him to stay on this base unless it was crucial to our survival."
The crowd protested again, shouting insults and asking what could possibly be so important to warrant letting an enemy walk among them. Poe whistled loudly, cutting through the noise.
"The First Order is still a threat to the galaxy!" Poe shouted.
The mob quieted and fear filled the air, almost tangible.
"But… we destroyed them," said a confused Nothoiin. Her red eyes widened in fear as the bad news hit her. "Didn't we?"
"We destroyed Palpatine's fleet of star destroyers, yes," Poe nodded, lowering his voice. "But we've received intel that the bulk of the First Order's generals survived the battle. Some of them weren't even present at Exogol. They've regrouped and taken command of the First Order. They've already attacked Thrantin, annihilating the colonies there, and are targeting the Venjagga system next."
Horrified mumbles permeated through the people, becoming more and more panicked. Ben was more pissed off than scared. His subordinates had taken over his army. Of course, it wasn't his anymore as he'd renounced his role as Supreme Leader, but still. It seemed without his presence to cull their lust for power, they'd banded together to take control of the First Order forces and continue their mission to seize control of the galaxy and create a new empire. He bet Rokrisa Kandia was the one to persuade the others. He'd always sensed something power-hungry lurking behind the general's stoic expressions and iron control. She'd been wise enough not to express it until now.
"It's not all bad news," Poe said urgently to calm the worried Resistance fighters. "Our victory at Exogol inspired thousands of stormtroopers to leave the First Order; they no longer have the might they used to. The Resistance finally has the advantage. This is our chance to finish them off once and for all!" He jabbed a finger at Ben. "And as you all know, Kylo Ren was a part of the First Order for over a decade. He knows how they operate and what their weaknesses are."
"What makes you think he'll help us?" Winn shouted, stumbling forward; he'd finally regained use of his legs.
"Because he can't go back to the First Order. He betrayed them when he helped Rey defeat Palpatine," Poe said with certainty. Several pairs of shocked eyes flicked to Ben. They hadn't known what part he'd played in Palpatine's demise. "As part of the deal for granting him asylum with us, Ren has agreed to help us take down the First Order.
Ben glared at Poe. They hadn't made any such deal. But unease spread through Ben at the rest of his words. It was true he couldn't return to the First Order. He also couldn't go to any other planet or star system in the galaxy. His reputation preceded him, one which a planet's inhabitants would find disagreeable, to say the least. He'd burned all his bridges. He had to depend on the Resistance for a safe place to stay and that put a sour taste in his mouth. Ben shivered as the feeling of being caged in crept up on him.
"If anyone has any more complaints, you can voice it after we've destroyed the First Order," Poe glared at the crowd, especially Winn, as it seemed they wanted to protest some more. "We need to stay ahead of them while we can and predict where they'll attack next. We can do this, but we need to stay united and use every advantage we have."
The Resistance fighters grumbled to each other and sent hateful glares at Ben, but they dissipated peacefully. They were too distracted and scared by the news the First Order was regaining their power to be mad at Ben.
After everyone left, Poe stalked up to him, getting right in his face. Ben's hackles immediately rose in preparation to attack. He was already inflamed by the rebels' pointless attack on him today and the increasing feeling of helplessness.
"You need to be more amiable," Poe hissed. "Or I'll order your guards to make sure you don't leave your tent."
"I'm not the one who started it," Ben snarled. Of course Poe thought he'd started it. "And I don't recall agreeing to help you fight the First Order."
Sparks flew in Poe's eyes and he swallowed hard, clearly pushing back what he really wanted to say. He glanced at the guards and Rose.
"Captain, why don't you and your fighters go and make sure we won't be disturbed? Ren and I need to talk," Poe asked politely, but every word was laced with venom.
The guards hesitated but ultimately obeyed their general's orders.
Rose glanced worriedly between the two of them. "Poe, are you sure-"
"I'm sure, Rose," Poe cut her off. "Go."
Rose gulped and ran off, following the guards.
"Afraid of making a scene, general?" Ben asked mockingly.
"I don't want an audience for this," Poe said. "Morale is low enough as it is with the news of the First Order making a comeback so quickly."
"I'm still not going to help you," Ben crossed his arms, gazing defiantly at the Resistance general.
"You will or I'll fly you into space and jettison you and watch you explode," Poe threatened.
"I'd like to see you try," Ben huffed. Poe didn't have the balls to do anything to him.
"Stop being an asshole and do something right for once in your life!" Poe spat at him.
Ben shoved him back roughly and wiped the spittle off his face. "You think I care about the Resistance? Why should I help when I know it won't change how you see me? I'll always be the Jedi Killer in your eyes, responsible for hundreds upon thousands of deaths, including your precious General Leia Organa and Han Solo."
"Do you want to be responsible for even more deaths?" Poe yelled. "You must have been a great Supreme Leader if that's the mentality you used to command your forces. Rey should have left you on Exogol so you could return to the First Order and resume your command. They would die out without us having to lift a finger."
"You're the last one who should be preaching about being a responsible leader," Ben returned sharply. "Or have you already forgotten about D'Qar?"
"What about D'Qar?" Poe asked through gritted teeth, a warning flashing in his eyes.
"I was there," Ben pressed forward, uncaring of Poe's reaction. "I watched as you led sixty-three people to their deaths. And for what? To destroy a single dreadnought?"
"How did you…?" Poe turned pale.
"I felt their passage into the Force. They believed in their mission, every single last one of them," Ben revealed without mercy. "But do you think it was worth it, sacrificing their lives? Do you think that validates killing the crew of 250,000 people?"
Poe breathed harder, growing red in the face.
"Don't you dare call me a heartless killer when you're guilty of the same crime," Ben smiled grimly and couldn't resist rubbing salt in the wound. "It must have been your idea to bomb the Fulminatrix. My mother knew better than to sacrifice her people for a pointless cause."
Poe shouted in fury and threw a punch. Ben couldn't move back in time to avoid it; his ability to predict his opponent's movements through the Force was off-kilter. His jaw exploded in pain and stars burst behind his eyes at the force of the punch. He dodged the next blow and clouted Poe in the stomach, following it with an uppercut to his chin when he doubled over.
"I did what needed to be done to give the Resistance time to escape," Poe spat out a mouthful of blood onto the grass and glared at Ben hatefully. "And saved countless others in the process! How many innocent lives would that dreadnought have taken if I hadn't led my forces to destroy it? Millions!"
"Do your friends see it the same way?" Ben asked, his jaw aching with every word. "They lost friends and family members that day. I'm sure they don't think about the faceless millions who were spared, only their loved ones. Can you really say it was worth it and still look them in the eye?"
"They understood the risks when they joined the Resistance," Poe kicked him in the shin and then boxed his ear. Ben stumbled back, his ear ringing painfully. "I didn't lie to them. I'm not a monster who recruits children and brainwashes them into being soldiers for an evil cause! I'm not the one who tortured my best friend for information!"
"I may be a monster, but at least I've acknowledged it!" Ben growled and rushed at Poe.
The pilot backed up but stumbled over a staff left on the ground. Ben took advantage of that to kick him in the balls and punch him in the face. He got lucky and his fist landed squarely on Poe's eye. Poe let out a squeak and fell to the ground.
"You're just like me, Poe," Ben said, dragging him up by the collar. He stared down at the pilot, daring him to contradict him. "Admit it."
"I'm not anything like you," Poe said gruffly and kicked him square in the groin, returning the favor.
Ben lost his grip on Poe's collar as sharp pain enveloped his senses. He bent over, instinctively trying to protect his lower half from another attack. The pain doubled as hands interlocked behind his head and a knee smashed into his nose. Blood spurted everywhere as cartilage broke. Ben coughed up blood as Poe pushed him hard into the metal storage containers. His hand got snagged between a couple of the containers and the impact broke a few of his fingers. Ben howled in pain and headbutted him forcefully. Poe stumbled backward and Ben punched him again, this time landing on his lip and splitting it. He took hold of the pilot's arm and jerked it sharply. Poe yelled in agony as the larger bones snapped.
All of a sudden, an invisible force gripped them and dragged them apart. They landed painfully on their backs, winded from the impact and their fight.
"What the kriff is going on here!?" shouted a deep voice.
Ben and Poe looked up to see Rey and Finn standing over them. Rose and Larma were running up behind them with Captain Ivin and the other guards. Finn rushed over to Poe, helping him up by his good arm. He glared at Ben in full force as he took in the extent of damage to Poe's body. Rey stood still with her hand outstretched, staring at both of them in abject horror. Ben imagined they looked rather terrible, covered in blood and injuries. His fingers on his right hand were bent in unnatural angles and his nose was spasming in pain. Poe didn't look that much better; he clutched at his broken arm with white-knuckled fingers and his eye was steadily turning black.
"Why weren't you here to stop them?" Larma scolded the guards.
"General Dameron commanded us to give them a private moment," Captain Ivin explained.
"And that struck you as a good idea?" Larma asked in disbelief, waving a hand at Ben and Poe. "Considering the history between them, you didn't foresee this outcome?"
"That's why I went to go get Rey and Finn," Rose explained to her. "I didn't think anyone else would be able to get between them if they fought."
"You should have just tased them both," Finn argued, helping Poe to sit down on a container.
"What were you boys thinking?" Larma shook her head in displeasure. "We can't afford to fight amongst ourselves."
"Well, he's not one of us anymore, is he?" Poe said tightly. "And Kylo has made it perfectly clear he's not going to help us."
"Stop calling me that!" Ben hissed, advancing on the wounded general. Blood was flowing down his face, but he didn't care. He only felt the incandescent rage racing through him, urging him to eradicate the person who was making him feel that way. "My name is Ben Solo, not Kylo Ren!"
"Do you really think you can change your name from Kylo Ren back to Ben Solo? You're not worthy of the name Solo!" Poe shouted at him, stopping him in his tracks.
"Poe!" Rey yelled at him, but he soldiered on.
"You're not even worthy of Leia's name. Not after the way you killed them," Poe pushed on brutally. "Do you think taking their names will make us forget who you really are? I have news for you, it won't. You can't go back to being Ben Solo and pretend nothing happened."
"Shut up," Ben whispered.
Poe's words shouldn't be affecting him, but they were. He'd thought he could return to being Ben Solo and grind Kylo Ren into dust, but it just wasn't so. Poe was right. He had no right claiming the Solo name for himself. He'd killed his defenseless father and drove his mother to her death. It didn't matter that they'd forgiven him, the guilt was eating him alive.
"Does the truth hurt, Ben?" Poe glared at him hatefully. "I hope it does. You'll never be one of us."
"Shut up, Poe," Rey stalked over to him and grabbed his arm.
Poe howled as his bone breaks cracked back into place. Rey moved her hand to his cheek and Poe's split lip healed and the dark bruise receded from his eye. Ben swallowed and he despaired that Rey had gone to attend her friend first. The tang of iron was heavy on his tongue since his broken nose hadn't stopped bleeding. A huge wave of exhaustion overcame him, undercut a little by his broken limbs and aching body. He just wanted to sleep and escape this nightmare. He hadn't realized until this moment that he was so tired of being on the defensive.
Ben tried to funnel energy towards his broken fingers, but he couldn't grasp onto the energy long enough to control it; the cuffs prevented him. He glowered down at his fingers, feeling utterly helpless. Gentle fingers encased his hand and Ben looked up in surprise. A flood of healing energy poured from Rey into him, healing his injuries faster than he ever could have. He gently flexed his fingers so they wouldn't heal crooked. She laid her palm over his nose and it burned and itched as it straightened and snapped back into place, making his eyes water. Rey gazed at him with stern, unhappy eyes, not unlike the early days of their acquaintance. But Ben could feel anxiety and worry emanating from her. More guilt piled on him for subjecting her to this.
"I'm very disappointed in both of you," Larma said, anger lacing her usually gentle voice as she glanced between Ben and Poe. "If you weren't grown men, I would spank you both and send you to bed without supper."
"We needed to hash things out," Poe said. He swung his arm in circles to get feeling back into it. Finn hovered over him protectively, making sure he didn't overextend himself.
"Not in this fashion, you didn't," Larma said with finality, her blue eyes flashing in anger. "But I trust you've said what you needed to say to each other and can move on to establish a working relationship."
"Yes, ma'am," Poe said, looking down.
Larma trained a stern gaze on Ben and he grunted and nodded his assent.
"Good. I know you boys have a troubled history, but the time has come to move on," she insisted. "I need you to have clear heads to deal with the First Order. They'll take every weakness we have and turn it against us. I will not allow the Resistance to crumble because you boys can't get along!"
Steely silence filled the clearing, everyone unwilling to speak up against the irate commander. Even Ben was cowed by Larma's demeanor; she was usually a sweet and understanding woman who avoided conflict.
A bell tolled again, breaking the silence and signaling the last meal of the day. The group glanced and saw the sun had indeed disappeared into the trees and the sky had darkened.
"Everyone go eat and get a good night's rest," Larma ordered. "I expect you all to behave yourselves tomorrow and have your primary concern be defeating the First Order."
She turned around and headed off, not waiting to see if they would follow her orders. Poe sent another glare at Ben and headed off after her, Finn on his heels. Ben and Rey followed at a more sedate pace, the three guards at his back.
"What happened?" Rey asked quietly.
"We had a talk," Ben said as he wiped the blood off his face; he might have only succeeded in smearing it around.
"A talk which elevated into a massive fight?" Rey said with disbelief, snapping her head towards him. "If Rose hadn't fetched me, you two would have torn each other apart."
"I have a feeling that's what the majority of the Resistance base wants anyway," Ben shrugged. "Besides, we wouldn't have gone that far."
"Don't try to downplay this, Ben," Rey said furiously. "If you and Poe have a problem, then we need to fix it now."
"It can't be fixed," Ben muttered and stalked ahead in long strides. That friendship had crumbled to ash years ago.
"Just like you couldn't redeem yourself?" Rey asked, almost running to keep up with him.
Ben scoffed at the ridiculousness of that question. He hadn't redeemed himself. He'd just let go of the deep-rooted hatred he'd held within himself for so many years and decided to throw his lot in with Rey. His return to the light side had nothing to do with nobility or justice. He'd faced Palpatine and the Knights of Ren because he wanted to make sure Rey would be safe.
"You can be one of us," Rey said with determination. "You just need to try harder."
"Really? What exactly should I try to be?" Ben asked in exasperation. "A Resistance fighter? A Jedi? A better prisoner?"
"You don't need to choose anything," Rey said, grabbing a hold of his hand and tugging him to a stop. "Just be Ben Solo."
"Ben Solo died over a decade ago," Ben said solemnly. "I just didn't realize it until now. I don't know who I am anymore."
"You're my friend," Rey said simply.
The turmoil in Ben died down a little and he smiled gratefully at her. After everything he'd put her through, Rey still stuck by his side and had faith in him. He didn't deserve it.
They continued walking to the canteen, Ben's guard following them like silent wraiths. Doubts kept surfacing in Ben's mind if he really wanted to stay here with the Resistance. He would get no peace and every day would be a battle. Could he really stay here and not be haunted by the ghosts of his past? He couldn't get rid of the cloying feeling of being trapped. Trapped by the guards, the cuffs, Rey's expectations… even his own thoughts.
They entered the clearing and the happy and boisterous conversations faltered and silence descended as everyone turned to stare at Ben. Rey gripped his hand tighter as she sensed his unease, but it didn't help one bit. Rey murmured to Captain Ivin that she'd guard him while he and the others ate. The guards hesitated for a moment before complying with the command; they didn't stray far though. The Resistance fighters started talking again, but their voices were muffled and low and their gazes were trained on Ben.
"I can't take this anymore," Ben said as everything slipped further and further from his control.
"I'm right here, Ben," Rey said in a comforting tone, turning him to face her. "What's wrong?"
"What isn't wrong?" Ben huffed, briefly amused. "I don't belong here."
"Of course you do, Ben," Rey raised a palm to cup his cheek, her lovely hazel eyes entreating him to see things her way.
"I don't, not anymore," Ben disagreed. "Everywhere I go, everyone I meet, I'm reminded of the mistakes I've made. You only saw my fight with Poe, but there's more to it."
"Tell me," Rey pleaded.
"We used to be best friends," Ben nodded at Poe. The pilot was talking with his friends and laughing. Their gazes happened to meet and Poe's eyes hardened and he turned his back on him. The pit in Ben's stomach grew. "We were inseparable and did everything together. We would have died for each other."
But that was over now and there was no going back.
"Take Larma," Ben nodded at the golden-haired commander. "When I was a kid, she read me bedtime stories when my mother was away on business. She was as close to me as my own mother."
"She still cares for you, Ben," Rey insisted.
"Even if she does, our relationship will never be the same," Ben shook his head with regret. "She carries herself differently around me now. She's tense and she's always ready to reach for her blaster. When I look her in the eye, all I see is disappointment and fear."
He jabbed a finger at the tables full of Resistance fighters. "That's only a few examples of the changes I've noticed in the people I once knew. I haven't even mentioned Chewie or Wedge. The rest are either dead because of me or they're new like most of the people here, and they hate me because of what I've done. And rightly so, I might add."
"If you show them you're willing to change, they'll accept you," Rey said with certainty.
Her eyes were filled with unshed tears as she felt his pain over their bond. Ben didn't want her pity. He'd had enough of that to last a lifetime.
"I'm not sure if I even want to stay here, Rey," Ben said.
"Why?" Rey growled out. "Why are you so afraid to try? You go through one bad day and you decide to quit?"
"Because I know I'll never fit in here!" Ben said forcefully.
"You don't know that!" Rey argued.
"Don't I?" Ben's eyes traveled down to Rey's belt where she kept her two lightsabers.
Ben snatched one from her belt and activated it. The bright blue beam shot into existence and the buzzing hum filled the air. As one, the Resistance fighters drew their blasters and pointed them at him. Some pushed their unarmed friends behind them for protection. They shouted curses and insults at him.
"I knew we couldn't trust him!" A high voice shouted.
"Shoot him before he can kill us!" yelled another panicked voice.
"I told you he was still evil!" Winn shouted from a nearby table; he was being restrained by his friends to stop him from charging at Ben.
Even though Ben knew they would react this way, it still hurt to see it and know he was right. He would never be a Resistance fighter. He would never be one of them.
"Stand down!" Poe shouted, stalking forward through the mass of blasters, shoving the weapons down as he passed. "I'll take care of this."
Poe grabbed the lightsaber from him and deactivated it. The fighters muttered amongst themselves, holstering their weapons but keeping a close eye on him.
"What are you thinking?" Poe growled.
"I'm thinking I don't belong here and I never will," Ben retorted.
"Well, you got that right," Poe shot back.
"Ben, you're not thinking straight," Rey said. "You just need to clear your head. Let's go for a walk."
"It's going to take a lot more than a walk to change my mind," Ben said.
"Are you joking?" Poe asked incredulously. "He's not going anywhere but his tent after that display."
"If you think I'm going to follow your orders, you're sadly mistaken," Ben said dangerously. He turned to Rey and tried to smile, but it came out more menacing than reassuring. "I think a walk is a perfect idea. I'll try to be back before sunrise."
"What?" Poe asked, dumbfounded.
Ben bolted off towards the tree line before anyone could stop him. The Resistance fighters shouted in panic as he dashed away. Blaster shots fried the trees behind him, carving small holes into the bark.
"Sertali!" Poe shouted above the din.
Ben ran through the jungle, easily avoiding fallen tree branches and debris. He smiled as he ran further away. He felt better already, away from the judging gazes and hateful remarks. He'd always done better on his own. His ears picked up footsteps behind him, gaining fast. He chanced a look behind him and saw one of his guards, the Selonian, chasing after him. Her claws were extended and her powerful tail swished behind her as she chased him. Her black eyes glinted with determination and excitement at the prospect of a hunt. This was probably why Poe had chosen her to be one of his guards.
Ben pushed himself faster, running towards the sound of rushing water. He made a hairpin turn around some trees and Sertali cursed behind him. The roar of water crashing down sounded louder and Ben ran towards it. The trees thinned and they burst out onto an outcropping of rocks leading up to a large waterfall. Sertali's tail swung out of nowhere and hit him in the side. Ben was knocked sideways; he rolled as he landed and hopped back onto his feet. The guard approached him with talons outstretched, blocking the way back into the jungle.
"You're under arrest, Ben," Sertali said calmly. She shifted her body weight away from the drop-off, eyeing it nervously. "Come peacefully. There's nowhere to run."
Ben smirked and ran to the edge of the waterfall. Claws ripped through his shirt, barely missing skin. Water droplets raced past his bare skin and soaked his clothes as he descended. Sertali's frustrated shout was drowned out by the crashing water. Ben entered the water feet-first and the current dragged him under and along the river. He surfaced with a gasp and swam towards a bank. He looked back and smiled as he saw the guard standing at the lip of the waterfall. He'd judged her correctly. Selonians may love the water, but this one was deathly afraid of heights. He laughed and ran off into the dense trees, leaving the river far behind.
"Ben!"
Ben skittered to a stop as Rey shimmered into existence in front of him. He felt her anger and disbelief clearly through their bond.
"What the fuck are you doing?" she asked crossly.
"I just need to get away for a while," Ben explained, hoping she would understand. "I have to regain some semblance of control over my life."
"By running away?" asked Rey in a heart-breaking tone.
"I'm sorry, Rey," Ben apologized, his insides twisting in agony at how much pain he was causing her.
"Please come back and let's talk," Rey pleaded softly.
"We'll talk in the morning," Ben said decisively. "I promise."
He ran on, letting what little he could sense from the Force guide him. Rey shouted something behind him, but he couldn't discern what she said. He must have run for at least thirty minutes before he stopped to catch his breath and wait for the black spots to disappear from his vision. His stomach growled, demanding food. He remembered that he hadn't eaten since midday and that had been a paltry amount.
Rustling sounded in the brush and a couple of rabbit-like creatures emerged from the leaves. They squeaked as he pounced on them and quickly snapped their necks. He gathered some dry branches and rocks and kicked away leaves to bare the ground; soon a fire was flickering strongly. He quickly skinned the rabbits with a jagged rock he found and assembled a rig.
Rumbling filled the air and large air currents brushed against the tree-tops. It sounded like Poe had assembled his pilots to take to the skies to search for him. It was a useless endeavor considering how dense the jungle canopy was. Even if they passed directly over him, they wouldn't see him. If they wanted to find him, they would have to track him on foot.
A delicious scent rose into the air as he turned the creatures on the skewer over the flames. A tired, nostalgic smile rose to Ben's lips as he remembered the camping trips he'd done with his parents. His mother had hated how many critters tried to bite her and suck her blood, but a quick kiss from his dad had always placated her til the next attempt.
He missed them. Ben's heart ached with how much he wished his parents were still alive. He wished he'd made different decisions. He needed their advice, now more than ever. But they were gone because of his mistakes. He wished there was someone he could talk to, someone who understood exactly what he was going through. Ha! As if anyone could identify with him.
"Hello."
Ben's heart jumped and he shot up, grabbing a rock and crouching in a defensive position. A dark figure stood near the trees, somewhat obscured by the shadows. How had this person managed to sneak up on him? It should be next to impossible with how on edge Ben was. The figure stepped into the firelight, revealing a young man in his twenties dressed in a dark brown tunic and black pants and boots. His eyes were a brilliant blue that distracted from the scar running down his cheek. He moved as gracefully as a dancer or a highly trained warrior as he sat down by the fire. Strangely enough, Ben didn't recognize him from the base.
"Aren't you going to try and arrest me?" Ben asked cautiously.
"Would you come quietly?" The man asked as he fed the fire some more branches. His voice was deeper than Ben expected.
"No," Ben said.
"Then no, I'm not here to drag you back to the base," He gestured for Ben to sit down, which he slowly did.
"Then why are you here?" Ben asked. He couldn't place it, but there was something strangely familiar about him. But how could that be?
Bright blue eyes met his gaze and the man smiled.
"We need to talk."