Chapter 7 – You Need a Teacher
In the hours after Larma administered the cure, Ben went through several rough patches and his temperature shot through the roof. Larma was hard-pressed to keep enough cold packs around him throughout the night while Rey used the Force to keep Ben's organs from liquifying. Rey's heart jumped each time the biomonitors beeped and clicked, but it was clear his health was improving with every passing minute. As morning came around, Rey and Larma were dead on their feet and were little better than zombies, but Ben's raging fever had broken and he was out of the danger zone. Larma confirmed with relief that the cure had done its job and burned the bacterial infection away.
When it was clear there were no other negative side effects from using the younger ngoisa plants, Larma injected Mixa with the cure. The captain hadn't progressed to the final stages of the infection, so he didn't react as badly to the cure as Ben had. Mixa only suffered from labored breathing, body pains and chills, and an elevated temperature. He was plague-free by nightfall and able to help direct the base-wide antibiotics distribution from his sickbed.
Ben's recovery, however, was taking longer. Though the infection was gone, he hadn't woken up. His skin remained pale and clammy and his lungs were still too weak to support him without assistance. Larma assured Rey he was on the road to recovery and just needed time. Rey stationed herself at his side when she could and fed strings of healing energy to him through their bond to make sure he didn't take an unexpected turn for the worst. She couldn't tell if she was making a difference.
Larma and the other healers did final checks of the base and verified Tawna and Damary were clear of the lethal bacteria; their close encounters with Ben hadn't resulted in them contracting the plague. Everyone had breathed a collective sigh of relief when Larma confirmed the children weren't infected. There would have been nothing they could have done if they'd contracted the infection. The lead healer lifted the lockdown soon after and worked with Poe to coordinate the decontamination effort. Everyone was conscripted to walk through the base to sanitize every surface.
Rey led the group to decontaminate the canteen. She'd heard gossip from several sources about Ben regaining his powers and attacking Jecob and Winn, each person telling a different outlandish story. She hadn't believed the rumors. She knew Ben couldn't access his powers; she could feel it when he tried to reach out to the Force. But now, looking at the wreckage in the middle of the canteen, she wondered if she was wrong. Several of the wooden tables lay in a dense grouping and some pieces were impaled in the ground as if they'd been dropped from a great height. How had Ben managed this? She pondered this question as she and the group swept through the canteen, cleaning up the mess and disinfecting everything with a special, extra-strength disinfectant. He'd used the Force, but how could that be so? Curiosity and doubt about the strange turn of events lingered in her mind for the next few days, but she couldn't come up with any reasonable answers.
When she wasn't at Ben's side, Rey was fulfilling her daily duties around the base and attending war meetings. Despite the recent scare, they were forging ahead at full steam with plans for joint attacks on First Order weaponry caches and intelligence outposts. They would cut the First Order's legs from under them before going for the head.
Though the other bases' generals and commanders weren't happy about it, they'd signed off on raiding the Dedlanite mining site Ben had told them about. Taking the site would deal a crippling blow to the First Order while bolstering the Resistance's ability to fuel their own blasters. Both sides had lost arms in the recent battle at Exogol and would be racing to horde resources to replenish their armories. The opportunity was too valuable to pass up.
Rey sighed as she pushed tiny lumps of porridge around her bowl. She had little appetite this morning even though she had a grueling day ahead of her patching up starships for the upcoming raid. The fleet had sustained some damage from the battle at the Venjagga system; they'd emerged victorious, but not unscathed. Rey pushed a spoonful of hardening granules into her mouth and swallowed without tasting. It was hard to stay focused on the cause when her friend – who was potentially more – lay half-dead in the med tents.
"Hey, how are you doing?"
Rose slid onto the bench across from Rey, letting the numerous holoreaders she was carrying clatter onto the wooden table. She dipped a steaming roll into her porridge and took a huge bite.
"I'm worried," Rey sighed and let her spoon fall into the bowl. She'd eaten all she could. "It's been a week and Ben hasn't so much as twitched."
"He is getting better though, right?" Rose questioned. "I checked in with Larma yesterday and she said he's almost strong enough to be taken off the ventilator."
"She said it could be today or tomorrow," Rey nodded. It was good news, but Ben still hadn't woken up. How was this a victory?
"I have faith Ben will recover," Rose said as she scraped her bowl for the last bits of porridge. "Finn told me about the time Ben got hit with Chewie's bowcaster on Starkiller Base. If he can take a bolt of metallic plasma to the torso that would kill any normal person and then proceed to walk it off, then a bacteria isn't going to finish him off."
"He doesn't have access to the Force now though," Rey countered. "And Poe refuses to take the cuffs off so Ben can heal faster since the infection is gone. I can only do so much. I'm better at healing open wounds."
"If Ben remains in a coma for much longer, Finn and I will bring Poe around to taking those cuffs off," Rose assured her. "We've talked about it. He's worried about how long it's taking too."
"He is?" Rey frowned. Finn hadn't said anything to her.
"He didn't want to needlessly worry you. You've been through a lot lately," Rose explained as she tucked a curl of hair behind her ear. "We can all see how much this is taking a toll on you."
"I don't mean to be distracted," Rey smiled apologetically. "I don't know how to handle someone I care about being sick and not being able to help."
"Be there for them, no matter what. When my sister was ill, I would read to her. She would sing for me when I took ill and there was nothing better than the sound of her voice," Rose said with a wistful smile as she touched her crescent medallion. She shook herself and plastered a bright smile on. "So be there for Ben. Even unconscious, he'll still be able to tell you're there. And let your friends help you. You're not alone. We're here to support you."
"Thanks, Rose," Rey smiled, feeling marginally better. "That means the world to me."
"That's what friends do," Rose beamed at her before getting serious again. "How are you doing after the recent revelations about your family came to light? I know people are treating you differently. We're working to nip that in the bud before the rumors of mixed loyalty spread out of control."
"It worked. The rumors died down a few days after Ben let it slip. I don't think people really thought I worked for the other side," Rey shook her head and took a sip of some water. "Besides, everyone got distracted by Anzen's mysterious death and then the potential of a plague spreading through the base."
"Let us know if they start up again," Rose urged her.
"I will. Are you stuck doing commander duties today?" Rey nodded towards the huge pile of datapads. From what she could see, there were schematics and notes of starships, building plans, and some sort of spiky metallic object.
"The investigation into Anzen's death has hit a dead end, so Daria and I are going to ask for Mixa's help once he's recovered. The comms team doesn't need my assistance, so I'm going to the shipyard to patch up our fleet. Baso needs all hands on deck. I'm pretty sure Poe and General Antilles want to deploy soon," Rose gathered the holoreaders together, piled high in her arms. A few slid off the pile and landed on the table with a thump. "Damn it."
Rey grabbed half the datapads from Rose as well as her breakfast bowl. "I'm headed there myself. Care to walk with me?"
"Sure, we can make a quick stop by the med tent on the way," Rose managed to turn her wrist enough to look at her watch. "We're a few minutes ahead of schedule."
After dropping their bowls in the cleaning fluid to soak, they walked to the med tent. Ben was unresponsive and the ventilator was working to push air into his lungs. It was still jarring to see the normally huge, powerful man so passive and vulnerable. It was a huge wake-up call that Ben was only human and not the towering, godlike figure he'd been as Snoke's apprentice or Supreme Leader.
Rey noted that Ben did look slightly healthier. Color was starting to come back into his cheeks. She sighed and smoothed his hair as she wished with all her might that he would recover soon. She missed their conversations, his hesitant smiles… even his combative presence. She kissed his brow lightly.
"You can overcome this," She whispered. "I know you can."
The rest of the day passed in a haze for Rey. She moved on autopilot as she replaced gaskets, welded fuselages, and rerouted fuel circulation systems. The mechanical work was familiar and comforting; it helped distract her from more desolate thoughts. The sun was low in the sky by the time her shift ended.
"How is young Skywalker?" Baso boomed beside Rey as she was cleaning up, making her jump and drop a hydrospanner. The chief chuckled at getting the jump on a Jedi. "I hope he knows contracting a rare plague won't excuse him from working in my shipyard."
"He's getting better," Rey smiled. "He's too stubborn not to. He'll be darkening your shipyard again soon enough."
"I look forward to it. It's rare that I meet someone who doesn't wilt like a sad Rurylis flower in my presence," Baso said with a teasing glint in her eye.
Rey gawped at the chief. Was Baso saying she liked Ben?
"I can foresee tolerating him," Baso smirked and bid Rey farewell.
Rey smiled to herself. It looked like Ben had charmed another person to his side. Miracles did happen.
"Rey, there you are!"
Finn exhaled in relief as he entered the empty shipyard and saw her. He gestured for her to follow him.
"We're having an emergency meeting."
"What's wrong?" Rey frowned as she nodded goodbye to Baso and fell into step alongside Finn. She hadn't received any summons to a meeting.
She pulled out her comlink to check for latent messages. The device didn't power on. Oops. She'd forgotten to charge it.
"We're moving up our timetable to raid the Dedlanite mining site," Finn informed her as they reached the command tent. "There's been a new development."
Rey swept into the tent. Most of the Resistance leadership from all three bases were already in attendance. Poe nodded to her as she took her place beside him. He was composed, yet something in his stiff demeanor made the hairs on Rey's neck stand up. Something big had happened.
"Thank you everyone for meeting on such short notice," Poe nodded to the assembled group and holograms. "I've called this meeting to discuss the planned raid on the Dedlanite mining site near Hollastin. We need to deploy immediately and occupy the asteroid field by this time next week."
"That's unreasonable! We need at least two weeks to plan our entry into the star system!" Commander Snap Antilles vigorously shook his head. "If we want to avoid a dispute with the Hutts, we can't charge in now."
"I'm afraid we're left with few options in that regard," Poe said grimly. "Occupying this mining site has become our top priority. Our dwindling fuel supply is more dire than we previously thought. Our normal supplier was just killed in a chemical explosion and took their whole supply with them. Our other suppliers' shipments have been delayed. The lack of Dedlanite is prevalent throughout several star systems."
"Luckily for us, the First Order is also negatively impacted. However, this means even they will be scrambling to mine Dedlanite," Rose said as she pulled out a holoreader. "Every second we waste debating our strategy is another weapon in the enemy's grasp. We need to act now. By the last account of our stocks, we'll be out of blaster fuel by the end of the month."
"Commander Tico is right. We are experiencing shortages here as well. We need to lay siege to the site now. Remember, when we take the Hollastin asteroid fields, it will take time to mine and refine the Dedlanite for usage as blaster fuel," Commander Alasta from Lando's base cautioned. "I move to put our resources towards occupying the Hollastin site as soon as possible."
"In light of this new development, I agree," Commander Ilop looked to Antilles. "General, it is risky, but I believe we can succeed and avoid a confrontation with the Hutts. If General Dameron and I lead our forces around Hutt Space and enter hyperspace near Syvris, we can come out right at Hollastin with the Hutts being none the wiser." He brought up a hologram of a map of the star system to illustrate his idea.
"It might just work," Antilles nodded after some consideration. "But with the size of attack force needed for this mission, the odds are higher we will attract unwanted attention. Hollastin is too close to Nal Hutta."
"I can take a small strike force to Toydaria to grab their attention," Snap suggested, tracing a path on the map. "We'll lead them on a chase to the other side of Hutt Space and keep them busy around Chalacta while Poe and Tanin take our main forces to Hollastin."
"It's a bold plan," Lando chuckled. "But it just might work."
"But sir, according to my calculations, the chances of being caught by the Hutts are 725 to one!" C-3PO rapidly interjected as he bustled into view beside Lando. "I strongly advise a different course of action!"
R2-D2 rolled into range of the holoemitters and ran into Threepio's leg with a loud clang. The droid loudly whistled.
"No, I did not miscalculate the odds, you lopsided scrap pile!" Threepio argued back. "Your last analysis didn't make any sense, so I'm not reporting it!"
Artoo beeped emphatically before following up with a series of trills.
"I would have thought you learned by now not to trust strange computers!" Threepio waved dramatically at the shorter droid.
"Artoo, Threepio, I appreciate the input," Lando cut across both of them as the argument got heated. "But this plan gives us the best chance of succeeding. Once we reach Hollastin, the Hutts won't interfere. They have no interest in alienating the First Order by encroaching on their territory, even if it is in Hutt Space."
"What's the latest intel on the remaining First Order star destroyers? Where are they now?" Rey asked, pointing out a potential flaw in their plan. If a star destroyer showed up to protect Hollastin, the odds of success would decrease drastically.
"Only two out of the five left are currently operational," Rose reported. "They are both currently in the Core, protecting the three grounded ships while attempting to regain the power and influence they lost at Exogol. According to our spies, they are under the command of Generals Vostrom and Trem."
Finn flinched so hard at the mention of General Trem that it did not pass unnoticed. Everyone had the grace to not comment on it.
"I'll lead an expedition to the Core to keep an eye on the ships' movements," Lando said. "We'll keep them there for the duration of the siege and gain as much intelligence as we can."
With everyone in agreement, the generals divvied up the flight assignments. Rey frowned when she realized she hadn't been included in the operation. When she opened her mouth to ask why, Rose dragged her away before she could say anything.
"You and I won't be participating in the siege," Rose said simply.
"Why?" Rey narrowed her eyes. With the knowledge of dwindling blaster fuel supplies hanging over them, she would have thought they wanted their best people on the mission.
"We need to conserve blaster fuel, which means we'll be forgoing blaster practice and switching to different fighting methods," Rose explained. "We have quarterstaffs, short blades, and knives in our supply, all of which can deflect energy blasts, but our people aren't trained to use them."
"What does that have to do with me?" Rey questioned.
"You and I will be in charge of training our people to fight in melee combat," Rose said. "I've had some training with knives and you have several years of experience with a quarterstaff. We're the best people on hand to start training our fighters. In the event we're called to battle before we get our hands on the Dedlanite, we need to be able to fight and win."
"Yes, but-" Rey winced and shifted as her right leg suddenly fell asleep. She tried her best to ignore the prickling discomfort as feeling slowly came back to her leg. "But won't I be needed at Hollastin? Once we enter the mining station, the stormtroopers there won't give up without a fight. We need to minimize losses."
"According to intel from the hyperspace nodes and the few spies we still have in that area, the Dedlanite mining site is operated by a skeleton crew and a small group of stormtroopers. Machines and droids do most of the work. All we need to do is make it past the heavy fortifications, which will be up to our fighter pilots," Rose expanded on her reasoning. "We'll be of more use if we stay here and oversee the training."
"Alright," Rey relented. It didn't sit well for her to stay behind while Poe and Finn thrust themselves into danger, but if she was needed at the base, then that's where she would stay.
The meeting ended and the holograms faded from existence. As the other commanders mingled to discuss strategy, Poe and Finn joined Rey and Rose.
"I know what you're thinking," Poe raised his hands to ward off Rey's protests.
"No, you don't," Rey said sourly. He should have discussed the plan with her first.
"I can't leave the base without a leader for the duration of the siege. I'm taking most of our pilots and a few fighters. Everyone else is staying here. I need someone trustworthy to run the base while Finn and I lead the attack on Hollastin," Poe carried on. "With Anzel's mysterious death and the damn plague scare, the base needs someone strong in the leader's chair. That's why I'm placing you in command with Rose at your side."
"Are you sure that's a good idea? Why not just put Rose in charge?" Rey raised an eyebrow at him. Rose was usually Poe's choice as a temporary base leader when they went on missions. In light of the revelations about her lineage, she may not be the best choice, regardless of her unwavering devotion to the Resistance.
"We have full confidence in Rose's leadership abilities; that's not being questioned here. We have an ulterior motive," Finn admitted. "With you in charge of the base and the new training, we're hoping those still holding out on trusting you will realize they're being silly for judging you based on your lineage."
"I see," Rey sighed. So there were still people who weren't coming around. She hoped Jecob Wyan wasn't one of them; they'd always worked so well together as mechanics. "I'll do it. But at the first sign of trouble, I'll be flying to Hollastin to rescue your asses."
"At the first sign?" Poe gasped, mock-offended. "At least wait until the second. Give us a chance."
Rey let out a short laugh.
Finn smiled and gave her a one-armed hug. "Everything will sort itself out. You'll see."
"Is that what you've foreseen?" Rey teased. Her abilities were still developing in that area.
"Bits and fragments," Finn shrugged. "Let's go eat. I'm starving."
"I'm going to skip eating in the canteen today," Rey said as she raided a few nutrition bars from the shelves by the comms equipment.
"Let us know how Ben is doing," Rose said while Finn nudged Poe, who looked like he was sucking on a lemon.
"Yes, do," Poe muttered.
Rey suppressed a sigh as she gobbled up one nutrition bar. Her relationship with Ben was putting a strain on her friendships, but she appreciated how hard they were trying. Ben understood her in a way others could only hope to glean. She needed him as much as he needed her right now. Her friends and the Resistance would just have to accept that.
Rey made her way to the medical tent, stopping only once when her right leg cramped hard. She massaged the calf muscle, sending healing energy into it. The intense, localized pain faded away and she could walk again. Damn, she really needed to hydrate more.
She unwrapped the second nutrition bar and took a huge bite as she entered the med tent on the far side. The piece lodged in her throat as she gasped. The cot Ben had occupied for the past week was empty! The covers were in disarray and the ever-present ventilation equipment had been packed neatly away. Rey coughed and dislodged the half-chewed piece of food. The panic that engulfed her lasted only a moment before the rational part of her brain reasserted itself. Ben must have woken up! If something bad had happened to him, Larma or Mixa would have tracked her down.
"I can do it myself," Someone muttered in a surly tone from the area sectioned off for a private toilet and washbasin.
"Ben, your leg already gave out once. It hasn't recovered in the last ten minutes. Now hold still."
Indistinct grumbling filled the air before the curtain was brushed aside and Mixa hauled a freshly-shaved Ben out of the washroom, supporting him heavily on his right side.
"It took me at least a day to regain the strength to walk by myself," Mixa huffed as they moved slowly towards the cots.
"I can do better," Ben said emphatically as he sat back on the cot. He winced and rubbed his throat, coughing a few times to clear it.
The captain pushed a glass of water into his hand and held it steady as Ben took a sip. When he was done, Mixa took the glass back.
"Thank you, Ivin."
Mixa was so startled that he nearly dropped the tumbler of water. Rey was also shocked speechless that Ben had openly thanked a Resistance fighter. He so rarely let those words escape his mouth, let alone so sincerely. Rey let herself meld with her surroundings so she wouldn't draw attention; she was curious where this was heading.
"Not just for the drink," Ben continued. For once, he wore a passive expression instead of his usual frown. "For helping me walk, for not judging me… basically for being a fucking decent person. Why do you care so much, especially after all I've done?"
"I've learned that listening to rumors never actually gives a true measure of a person," Mixa said slowly, running his hand over the side table and adjusting the equipment there. "I reserve judgment of a person until I get to know them. Even though you've been nothing but a pain in the ass, I think you deserve another chance."
"That kind of thinking will get you killed, Ivin," Ben said dryly, his lips turning down in a disapproving frown. "I've probably done double the evil misdeeds you've heard about. You should listen to the rumors."
"As a Zeltron, I'm afforded a chance to divine a person's true intentions whereas most cannot read minds," Mixa shook his head. "You've had your slips, but you haven't come close to the point where you'd actually snap and kill someone here. If you weren't dedicated to changing your ways, you'd have tried to commit some atrocity by now."
"I have come close a few times," Ben muttered, leaning his head back and closing his eyes. "Almost jammed a metal spoon into that fucker Winn's neck."
"I don't know why he keeps antagonizing you," Mixa sighed. "It doesn't make any sense."
"He hates me for my blood-soaked past and wants to make my life a living hell," Ben shrugged. "You can't reason with that, Ivin."
Silence fell as Mixa checked Ben's bio-signs. Rey considered making her presence known. Ben hadn't detected her through their bond and Mixa hadn't noticed her on the other side of the tent. However, she was enjoying seeing this unguarded side of Ben.
"Why don't you call me by my first name?" Mixa asked curiously out of the blue.
Ben blinked his eyes open and stared at the captain. "I didn't think you'd want me to. You always make a point to call everyone by their title or last name unless you're close friends."
"It was the custom when I grew up on Zeltros. Old habits die hard," Mixa explained as he grabbed a medical scanner. "I wouldn't mind if you did address me by my given name."
"We are not exactly close friends," Ben smirked.
Mixa scoffed. "I breathed for you when you caught one of the most lethal bacterial infections known to this galaxy. I'd classify that as being close enough to be on a first-name basis. We're certainly not acquaintances anymore. You could use a friend."
"I have friends," Ben refuted.
"Besides Rey," Mixa ran the scanner over Ben's chest.
Ben pursed his lips as he thought about it. After a few seconds, he said, "I think Rose likes me."
"She does," Mixa allowed. His fingers danced across a holopad as he entered in information from the scanner. "But you're not going to let her get close to you."
"No," Ben agreed with a sigh. He leaned back against his pillow and shut his eyes.
"And that's my point," Mixa said emphatically. "You're hesitant to let anyone get close to you long enough to know you. When was the last time you had a true friend?"
"I was sixteen," Ben said immediately, not even having to think about it. "We grew apart as I became more and more invested in being a Jedi. Thirteen years later when we finally met face-to-face again, I tortured him for information and now he can't even stand to look at me."
"Oh," Mixa said softly.
Rey's heart clenched. He was talking about Poe. A faint note of regret came across the dyad. Their bond was strengthening as Ben recovered! She couldn't hide her sadness and pity from traveling back across the link.
Ben stiffened and his eyes snapped open. He cast his gaze around the tent and stopped when he saw her standing still at the med tent entrance.
"Hi," Rey blushed a little at having been caught eavesdropping. She reigned in her private thoughts and emotions and went to sit next to him. "I'm glad to see you're awake. How are you feeling?"
"Fine," Ben said in a stilted fashion.
"I took him off the ventilator about thirty minutes ago," Mixa filled in the silence as it extended several seconds. "He's experiencing some muscle weakness and cramps, but those should clear up in a few days."
"I thought you said it would take only one day for me to walk on my own," Ben narrowed his eyes.
"I said it would take at least one day," Mixa quipped back. "Your recovery period seems to be taking longer than mine, so don't be disheartened when you're not back to running fifty miles a day by tomorrow."
"Don't worry, Mixa. We'll only do one lap." Rey said with a straight face, unable to resist needling the Resistance captain.
"I think I could manage that," Ben smirked, mirth dancing over their bond. "Or we could take the path down the waterfall."
"You are not going to be leaping over a gorge or climbing down a cliff in your condition," Mixa rounded on Ben and emphasized his words with a pointed finger. "I did not save your life and keep you that way so you could jump to your death on some Jedi exercise run!"
Rey couldn't keep a poker face anymore and laughed. Ben joined in, snickering at the dumbfounded look on Mixa's face.
"She's joking, Mixa," Ben chuckled, laughter making him look years younger. "We'll save that for next week."
"I can't believe this," Mixa threw his hands up in defeat. "Why must I be doomed to heal people who perpetually throw themselves into daredevil stunts?"
Ben started coughing and Rey lunged for the glass of water on the side table. She held the glass to his lips as Ben tried to grasp the cup himself. His fingers shook as he tried and failed to get a good grip on the glass. They grappled for control of the glass and most of the water ended up on Ben's chest instead of in his mouth.
"Sorry, sorry," Rey set the glass down and looked frantically around for a towel.
"I got it," Mixa swooped in and blotted the water off of Ben.
"It's fine, Rey," Ben said softly, but his face was closed off and his emotions carefully hidden from her.
"I…" Rey felt despondent at the sudden lack of connection. "Do you need help changing? I could–"
"No." Ben shook his head shortly.
Rey sat back, wondering why Ben was acting like this. He always welcomed her presence.
"Rey! Are you in here?" Winn Bris ran into the tent.
The pilot stumbled to a halt and a flash of fear came across his face as he noticed Ben was awake. The emotion vanished quickly behind a hard mask of indifference.
"What is it, Winn?" Rey asked. If he was going to try to start a fight with Ben, then she was going to kick him out of this tent and not stop until he went flying over the waterfall.
"Baso needs all the mechanics in the shipyard. Something about the ships deploying tomorrow and repairs still needing to be completed," Winn said, tearing his gaze away from Ben. "She couldn't comm you, so she sent me to look for you."
"I really need to recharge this damn thing," Rey muttered in exasperation as she tore her comlink off her belt and plugged it into a charging port on a nearby workstation. Luckily, there was another fully-charged comlink in the port, so she updated the frequency and attached it to her belt. "I can't leave right now, Winn. Ben needs me here-"
"Go." Ben said stiffly. "I'm fine."
"Ben," Rey argued softly. He clearly needed a helping hand in his recovery.
"Go." Ben said with finality.
Rey took a step back, hurt by his rejection.
"You heard the traitor, he'll be fine," Winn rolled his eyes. "If there was any justice in this world, that damn plague would have finished him off."
"Have a little compassion, Winn," Mixa said harshly. "For an empath, you're surprisingly lacking in empathy."
"It's because I'm an empath that I'm able to recognize the threat he poses to all of us," Winn fired back, completely over his momentary fear of Ben. "How he can hide his nefarious intentions from a Zeltron and a Jedi-in-training, I have no idea, but he can't conceal anything from me!"
"The only thing I'm concealing is my contempt for you," Ben snarled at the pilot. "Even then, I'm surprised you're not choking on it."
"That's enough," Rey said sharply, taking command of the situation. This was getting ridiculous. "Ben, stop antagonizing him. Winn, you owe Ben an apology."
"I apologized to Tawna for the stew incident. I'm not apologizing to the Jedi Killer."
"Come up with a new moniker," Ben rolled his eyes flippantly, but Rey could sense the dull ache he felt upon hearing that label again. "That one's old news."
Winn opened his mouth to spew new insults, but Rey had heard enough. A burst of annoyance ran through her and she lifted her hand and Force-shoved Winn out of the tent. The pilot stumbled backward and landed on his rump with a startled shout.
"I'm going to the shipyard," Rey bit out.
"Will you come back later?" Ben asked hesitantly as she reached the tent threshold, where Winn was grumbling to himself.
Rey turned back to say no, she would be back the next day when everyone's tempers had cooled, but the words died in her throat at the vulnerable look on Ben's face. She couldn't say no to that hopeful question.
"I'll drop by after the graveyard shift," Rey relented. She didn't know why Ben was being so rude to her, but she would forgive him just this once.
A bright, undefinable emotion sang across the dyad and Rey couldn't help but smile as it enveloped her for a quick second. She turned back and hauled Winn to his feet and pushed him towards the shipyard. They had work to do and Baso was going to tear them a new one if they dallied.
-oOoOoOo-
"You didn't have to snap at her," Mixa admonished as he helped Ben into a dry shirt.
Ben gnashed his teeth as he tried to lift his trembling limbs to get them through the sleeve holes, but Mixa had to guide his arms.
"I don't want her to see me this way," Ben grit out, unable to keep the frustration from his voice.
"She understands you're recovering from an illness," Mixa reasoned with him as he helped Ben drink more water. "She won't think less of you. Every partner sees their loved one at their best and worst."
"We're not a couple," Ben shot back. "Yet… or maybe never. Who the fuck knows?"
"Well, whatever the case may be, you need to let her in," Mixa drew a blanket over his lap. "Forging a true connection with someone takes more than fighting side by side on the battlefield."
"I'll consider it," Ben relented. Mixa was right. He was being petty, but he didn't want to acknowledge it.
"You know, you're even more of an ass when you're sick," Mixa crossed his arms.
"Swearing, Mixa?" Ben raised an eyebrow. "I'm shocked."
"The situation calls for it, and don't change the subject," Mixa stood his ground. "I'm not going to let you continue being rude to Rey when all she wants to do is help you. I know you're out of your comfort zone, but everyone here just wants to help you get better."
Everyone? Ben raised a skeptical eyebrow at that.
"It's true, but perhaps not all for the same reasons," Mixa shrugged. "You know what I really mean."
"I'll take your advice under consideration," Ben grudgingly promised after some thought on the matter.
"Good. Now, try to get some rest," Mixa urged him. "If you want to boost the healing process, you need to sleep."
Ben huffed. He would, but only because he was actually tired from the short but strenuous trek he'd made earlier to the private washroom to relieve himself. He leaned back and closed his eyes, trying to get comfortable. His bones and muscles ached, but he felt much better than he had the last time he'd been conscious. Soon, the painkillers and drugs he was on overpowered the soreness and weariness and he dropped into dreamland.
An indeterminate amount of time later, Ben woke up and sprang into a sitting position with a gasp, biting his tongue and digging his fingernails into his palms in an effort not to scream. His nightmares had been particularly vicious, featuring a seemingly never-ending loop of Snoke and Luke torturing him. They'd wanted something from him, but he didn't know what, so he couldn't give it to them.
His sudden movements startled someone at his bedside. They'd been resting their head near his waist.
"Waz going on?" The person sleepily asked as they were jarred into wakefulness. Their hand automatically went to their waist to grab a weapon to protect themselves.
Ben couldn't see who it was since the tent was dark save for a few rays of light coming from the tent edges, but he recognized the voice.
"Rey?" Ben's pounding heart calmed as he drank in her soothing presence.
"Yeah," Rey said, sitting back and rubbing her eyes.
She stood up and turned on a lamp, illuminating their little area. The tent was still and mostly empty. Mixa and Aarzio were fast asleep on the same cot a few paces away.
"How are you feeling?" she asked with a hesitant smile.
Ben felt as if he'd been dunked in ice-cold water as he recalled the most current reason why she was cross with him. He really shouldn't have pushed her away earlier. Her guarded expression made his heart constrict painfully. Hadn't he resolved to himself not to hurt her anymore?
"Better," Ben answered, doing a quick self-check.
His legs were still sore in a few places and his throat blazed as if on fire, but he was recovering quickly. Even with the cuffs dampening his connection to the Force, he could feel the intangible energy racing through him again, repairing damage caused by the plague. He would be back to normal in no time. He might even be able to go running soon!
He turned his gaze on Rey and had the urge to wrap her in a blanket. There were dark bags under her hazel eyes and exhaustion clung to her every movement. She was covered from head to foot in grease and oil stains that'd turned her outfit from an off-white to a speckled brown and black.
"Are you alright?" Ben asked in concern as she stumbled back into her seat. He extended a helping hand to make sure she landed in the correct spot.
"Baso kept us all in the shipyard until dawn making repairs," Rey let out a huge yawn. She checked her timepiece. "She finally let us go twenty minutes ago when Poe and Finn took off with our pilots to go on the mission."
"What mission?" Ben perked up.
"We're mounting a siege on the Hollastin asteroid fields to obtain the massive Dedlanite supply there," Rey smiled slightly. "All thanks to your valuable input."
"They left you behind?" Ben raised an eyebrow. Was Poe that paranoid he'd tried something that the pilot left Rey behind to control the situation?
"Rose and I are going to be training everyone else how to fight without blasters," Rey explained, propping her head up as she leaned on his cot. "Poe thinks it will help the base regain their trust in me."
Guilt wracked Ben. Once again, he'd fallen into the narcissistic assumption everything revolved around him.
"I'm sure it will," He tried to be supportive. "They loved you before they learned the truth."
"I'm optimistic," Rey smiled. "Speaking of training, I was wondering..."
"Yes?" Ben queried as silence hung in the air. Rey looked uncertain.
"Is your offer to train me still on the table?" Rey asked.
Ben blinked. She wanted him to train her?
"I need someone experienced in the Force to help me hone my skills," Rey's words became rushed as she tried to explain her request. "Luke and Leia were a great help, but they could only teach me so much. I need to learn more practical skills if I'm going to make any headway toward becoming a real Jedi Knight. I don't care anymore that Poe thinks it's a bad idea. I need a teacher."
"I will train you," Ben put his hand on hers to stop the rush of words. She didn't need to explain herself. He couldn't help the giddiness rising in him like carbonated bubbles. He'd been waiting for this moment for ages.
"Really?" Rey's shocked expression quickly turned into a huge grin. "Thank you! I can't wait! You have to teach me that spinning move you did when we were fighting Snoke's guards! Oh, and the move-"
"Slow down," Ben laughed as her exuberance flooded their bond and infected him with joy. "We'll start from the beginning. What have you learned about the Force?"
"Well, I used to think the Force is just a power Jedi have which allows them to control people and manipulate objects," Rey said with a blush. "But I've since learned it's an energy that flows through every living being. It doesn't belong to just the Jedi or the Sith."
"Correct. The Force exists in all lifeforms, both large and small," Ben nodded in approval. "The Force would still exist without Force-sensitive beings to wield it. It's an energy field that binds the energies of all lifeforms and the cosmic forces of the galaxy together. Many have tried to understand it and explain its presence through science, such as with midi-chlorian counts, but there is no simple explanation that could explain the breadth of its existence and power and how we are able to access it."
"So if the Force connects people, then that's how I'm able to heal people and how we formed a dyad." Rey reasoned.
"There's more to it than that, but yes. The Force allows us to heal, to hurt, to divine. Essentially anything we can think of, we can use the Force to accomplish it," Ben said. "The second volume of the Aionomica explains it in excruciating detail if you can sit long enough to read it without falling asleep."
"You've read the sacred texts?" Rey gave him a searching glance.
"I hesitate to call them sacred," Ben scoffed in a disparaging way. "That gives those papers an importance that borders on religious fanaticism. They are merely a source of wisdom passed down from generations of Force-users. Some of that 'wisdom' is actually useful, but the rest is out-of-date in my opinion."
"I'm surprised you know of the texts," Rey remarked.
"Luke made me memorize every scrap of paper," Ben said as he recalled the long hours he'd spent poring over each rune during his early years as a Jedi when he'd been eager to learn everything he could about his heritage. "The volumes on practical Force applications are the most useful. Trust me. The theory will make your brain melt and pour out of your ears if you try to devote brainpower to understand it."
Rey giggled. "I don't know about that. I'm about a quarter of the way through the second volume of the Aionomica. It's difficult to understand, but not impossible. C-3PO is helping me to translate the first volume and some of the other texts since I don't read Protobesh or Coremaic."
"Save your time and trust me when I say it's hardly worth your time," Ben urged her. "Skim it if you want. Let's move on to practical applications. Reach out and feel the Force."
Rey let out a burst of laughter before getting control of herself and straightening in her seat.
"What?" Ben wondered what he'd said to cause her to laugh so hard.
"Nothing," Rey assured him and refused to explain further. She crossed her legs in her seat and put her palms on her knees. Her eyelashes swept shut and her breathing evened out.
"Feel the Force around you, the way it ebbs and flows through you," Ben directed as she settled down. "Feel how it connects you to every lifeform around you and to the web of cosmic energy."
Minutes passed and Rey's breathing grew deeper. Ben smiled as he felt Rey's mind brush against his, not intrusively, just exploring. He remembered his first time reaching out and truly connecting to the Force and feeling how massive and eternal it was. There truly were no words to describe it.
Rey opened her eyes with a gasp and breathed in harshly.
"I felt it, the connections," Rey whispered in wonder. "It's so different from how it usually is."
"This is the key to accessing the Force successfully," Ben said. "With practice, you'll be able to return to this state naturally and without deep meditation."
"What's next? I want to learn it all!"
Ben was prepared to continue with the lesson, but Rey evidently wasn't, despite her eagerness. He stifled his mirth as she let out a huge, involuntary yawn that threatened to dislocate her jaw.
"You've been up all night. We can continue this lesson at a more reasonable hour," Ben said firmly. He was starting to feel a little drowsy too and had to fight the urge to yawn himself. It was still late. The sun had barely risen, its rays still weak and dancing along the tent flap edges.
"Okay," Rey agreed easily as she fought through another yawn. "I don't think I could make it back to my tent though."
"Stay here, then," Ben suggested. There were plenty of cots in the medical tent and not like there were any sick patients who needed them. It was just him and Mixa at the moment. Surely, Larma wouldn't mind.
Ben's thought processes stuttered to a halt as Rey climbed onto the cot and snuggled up to him. She slotted perfectly into his side and the feel of her breasts against his chest was completely arousing. Not even the faint acrid aroma from the oil stains on her clothing could distract him from the feel of her supple body against his. He prayed fervently she wasn't receiving any of his current emotions.
"Stop thinking so hard," Rey mumbled against his neck, causing his brain to short-circuit again. "I can't tell what's got you riled up, but I can't sleep when you do it."
"I'll try," Ben swallowed dryly, valiantly tamping down on his emotions. He forced his body to relax as he wrapped an arm around her. He couldn't very well go to sleep with a raging hard-on.
Rey sighed happily and within moments, she had fallen asleep. It took Ben several more minutes, but his still-healing body demanded more rest and he was able to drift off too.
-oOoOoOo-
Larma wasn't happy about releasing Ben so soon after he'd woken up from his coma. But since he was clear of the infection and healthy enough to walk on his own, she grudgingly gave him the green light, given that he only did tasks that didn't require vigorous movements. Larma then practically shoved a warm, dark blue jumper over his head as he attempted to leave, saying since the temperature was dropping to chilly levels, he needed to wear something warmer under that 'blasted leather jacket'. Eager to leave the claustrophobic confines of the medical tents, Ben complied and zipped up his jacket to hide the thick, wooly garment.
"I can't believe I'm stuck cleaning mech parts or sorting supplies again," Ben grumbled as he made his escape from the tent. He thanked his lucky stars that he was banned from food preparation, or he'd have been forced to embarrass himself again and risk getting his eyes clawed out by Tawna.
"It won't be so bad. At least you're out," Sertali followed quickly on his heels, shivering upon contact with the brisk, cold air. She'd been called upon for guard duty as Rey, Mixa, and Aarzio had been called away.
"Stars above, he looks terrible."
"I heard he died and then came back to life!"
"Are you serious? He can do that?"
"I was there when they gave him the antidote to the Bekrian Shadow Plague. He developed a blistering fever. I heard Larma say at one point it was above 120!"
"You're kidding, Damary. No one could survive that."
"He must have sold his soul in exchange for eternal life."
"Don't be ridiculous. He's flesh and blood like the rest of us."
Ben leveled a poisonous glare at the whispering group of Resistance fighters who were doing a bad job of trying to remain indifferent to his presence. Surely they had better things to do than gossip about him? Everyone got sick one way or another; his case was a little more extreme but no different in the end. They gave audible gulps and scurried away.
"Expect that from a lot of people today," Sertali warned him. "It was a shock to them to realize you could get sick. It's humanized you."
"Fantastic," Ben grumbled sarcastically.
They walked into the canteen and a hush fell. The line for the food dispersed quickly, some people grabbing the closest food item available in order to get out of his way faster. Ben selected only two rolls since Tawna didn't look favorable towards his presence. He made sure to grab a cup of water from the filtered side of the table. Larma had assured him he was immune to that strain of the bacteria now but better safe than sorry. He hated being bedridden. He scanned the sea of tables half-filled with Resistance fighters staring at him, some with fear and others with disdain. He headed for the table with friendly, or at least indifferent, faces.
Mixa made space for him and Sertali at the table. The other Resistance fighters there didn't comment as he sat down, but they scooted down to the other end of the table and stared at him out of the corner of their eyes. Whispers broke out from all the tables, but Ben ignored the gossip. He glared at a few people who dared to make eye contact with him; they shivered and put their heads down in an effort to placate him. Ben smiled to himself and tore into his food. He wanted to get out of here as soon as possible and start the day; hopefully, more than half of it would be spent teaching Rey.
"They think you can use the Force whenever you please now," Mixa confided in him.
"Works for me," Ben said through a mouthful of bread roll. "Maybe now they'll leave me alone."
"Doubtful. They'll be back to their old ways by tomorrow," Aarzio said as he placed a filtered cup of water in front of Mixa along with a steaming bowl of porridge topped with honey. "Eat all of it, Mixa. The honey will help you heal."
"I'm fully recovered, Aarzio," Mixa assured the worried pilot as he hovered over him. "I just said I had a bit of a sore throat."
"I don't like seeing you hurting," Aarzio plopped onto the bench next to him. "Please eat something?"
"Alright," Mixa gave in, but Ben could tell the Zeltron was secretly enjoying Aarzio's attentions.
Rose slid onto the bench next to Ben and gave him a warm smile.
"I see you've recovered enough to rejoin us," Rose greeted him.
"I feel great," Ben deadpanned with a snarky smile. She was sweet to ask after his health. "Has Poe ordered my departure from the base yet? Releasing a deadly pathogen wasn't covered in our agreement."
"I had to talk him down from that ledge. Attacking Jecob and Winn didn't help your defense," Rose rolled her eyes. "He was so sure the cuffs were foolproof."
"They are," Ben frowned as he tried to reach out to the Force. As had been the norm in recent weeks, he could vaguely sense the immense ocean of energy, but couldn't access it. Whatever stroke of luck had allowed him to use the Force before, it had vanished.
"Don't be silly. I won't let Poe banish you," Rey said with finality as she appeared and say down across from Ben. The grease and oil stains had been washed from her face and clothes. Her hair was in its standard triple bun, but still damp. "And I'm going to talk to Poe about removing those cuffs. They're ridiculous and you can't teach me with them on."
"Ben is going to be... teaching you?" Rose asked cautiously, staring intently at Rey.
"I need a teacher. It's one of the reasons Ben is here and Poe knows that," Rey defended herself. Around them, people had gone silent again as they eavesdropped on their private conversation. "I'll deal with Poe."
"Let me know if you need backup," Rose said with a hint of laughter. "Or a face shield to catch all the spittle."
"I'm sure it won't escalate that far. He has his moments when he's in a reasonable mood," Rey huffed. She turned her attention back to Ben. "Why don't we start up the lessons again after the morning shift?"
"Baso just wants a few things cleaned up, so that will work," Sertali nodded her approval while delicately licking droplets of water from her whiskers.
"Let's meet at the spot where we started our runs," Ben suggested. He didn't fancy eyes on him while he was trying to impart wisdom to Rey.
"Sounds perfect," Rey nodded. Her comlink beeped and she checked the message on it. "Duty calls." She drank the rest of her water and gave him a kiss on the cheek before running off.
Everyone at the table gave him a covert grin. Ben hid a smile behind the bread roll he raised to his lips. Things were looking up again.
-oOoOoOo-
Rey paced across the frost-covered grass, not even trying to contain her excitement. She was finally going to get more instruction in the Force and the ways of the Jedi! Luke and Leia had passed on valuable knowledge to her, but she'd had to learn so many of the physical aspects herself. But now that Ben was here, he could teach her how to fight properly! However, she had the feeling he was going to want to continue their breathing lessons from earlier that morning. She checked her watch for the fifth time. It was fifteen minutes after the early morning shifts had ended. Ben should have been here by now.
Frosted leaves crunched, announcing someone's presence. Ben and Sertali appeared around the thick tree trunks. He had a fake smile plastered on his face which softened into a real smile once he saw her. She perceived a faint thread of annoyance and anger across the bond. Had something happened yet again in the scant hours since they'd parted ways?
"I apologize for being late," Sertali said, swishing her tail in quick motions. "We were unavoidably detained."
"Anything I should know about?" Rey asked. She was trying to not invade Ben's privacy, but if something were wrong, she wanted to be told.
"Just needed to work out a few issues," Ben shrugged as he looked around for something.
Rey looked to Sertali for a better explanation. Sertali mouthed 'Winn' and 'lightning tree' and Rey understood without any more context. The Resistance pilot hadn't been chosen to go on the siege mission as punishment for harassing Ben and Tawna the week before. Apparently, he had chosen to still be a nuisance and Ben had to work out his anger in a slightly more constructive way. Rey wished Winn would just trust her; she was the one with a connection to Ben's innermost feelings, after all! There was little Ben could hide from her now, yet Winn still insisted Ben was concealing something.
"I'll leave you both to it, then," Sertali nodded respectfully to Rey, formally handing over guard duty to her.
"Thanks, Sertali," Rey nodded.
The Selonian disappeared into the trees as she followed the path back to the base.
Ben made a satisfied noise and Rey turned to see he'd found a large rock about the size of her head. He carried it to a grassy space under the canopy that had less frost and sat down cross-legged with it. Rey followed suit, sitting down across from him.
"I want you to lift the rock using the Force," Ben said.
Oh, well that's simple! Rey reached out with the Force, ready to do as he asked.
"No," Ben reached out and touched her hand, distracting her. "I want you to lift it using the method I showed you this morning."
Oh. Rey frowned. She had felt how that method sharpened her ability to sense the connections between life forms, but how was it better than her usual way? It didn't give her the power necessary to lift a leaf, let alone a rock.
"It will be different, but it's better," Ben said, noticing her apprehension. "You've been without proper instruction until now, so you're going to be learning how to use the Force anew, intentionally and without extreme emotion."
"Luke and Leia taught me well enough," Rey defended her former teachers.
"Luke hadn't taught anyone recently and my mother stopped her formal Jedi training when she was in her twenties," Ben shook his head. "If you want to fight properly, you need to do this my way."
"Alright, I'll try," Rey muttered and closed her eyes.
She breathed deeply and listened to the faint noises of jungle wildlife around her. Due to the dropping temperatures, there were fewer lifeforms running about, but she was able to hone in on those that did. Slowly, she became in tune with the heartbeat of the jungle and could almost touch the vast web of interconnecting energies.
"Good, now use the Force to lift the rock."
Rey heard his words at a distance; they were almost obscured by the sounds of her surroundings. She reached out and tried to latch onto a rope of energy in a nearby tree, but it refused to obey her command. She tried again, but it slipped from her mental grasp before she could use it. The strands of energy repelled her influence as if they were oil and her mind was water.
"It's not working," Rey grumbled.
"Quiet your mind," Ben said. "Don't force it."
"It is quiet," Rey insisted. She twitched as her nose itched.
"Focus on your breathing," Ben suggested. "Feel the flow of air coming in and going out. Lengthen it each time."
Rey did as he suggested, but her frustration with the 'proper' technique was distracting her. Random thoughts about her duties and worries about Poe and Finn kept flitting into her mind.
"Can't I just lift the rock the usual way?" Rey huffed and blinked her eyes open as she once again lost her grasp on a string of Force energy.
"No," Ben said resolutely, completely unbending. "If you can't master this first, you won't be able to wield the Force effectively in a fight. You've done well enough up until now, but it will hinder you going forward. Using emotion as a primary driver of power during a fight will divert your focus and actually lessen your abilities."
"You use emotions when you fight," Rey scoffed. She narrowed her eyes as he opened his mouth to protest. "And don't say you don't! No one would believe that."
"It's only with age and practice that I've been able to power my abilities in the Force using my emotions, but I don't rely on emotions to summon the Force," Ben corrected her. "As a beginner, your attention is split between calling on the Force and fighting. What you need to understand is there is no separation between the two. The Force is a part of everything we do. It's an extra limb that we cannot live without."
"I've managed just fine until now!" Rey yelled and channeled all her frustration into the Force; it responded in kind and the rock shot into the air and disappeared into the thick leaves above them. "See?" Rey said with satisfaction.
"What goes up will come down," Ben said dryly.
Rey reached out and found the rock easily enough as it traveled down. She guided it and lessened its fall, but as it re-entered their line of sight, she lost control and it slammed into the ground. Luckily, it landed a few feet away from them. Ben hadn't so much as twitched. Either he knew she'd be able to guide the rock's unstable descent, or he was confident he wouldn't be hit.
"You have a lot of power, Rey, but you don't know how to control it."
Rey shivered as he repeated the sentiment Luke had voiced during her time on Ahch-To. Her potential had frightened the Jedi Master and almost convinced him not to teach her.
"You can teach me to control it," Rey hoped she sounded more convincing than she felt.
"Then you need to listen to me," Ben told her, grabbing her hands and looking deep into her eyes.
"Isn't there a way you can teach me to use the Force the way I usually do?" Rey asked, unsettled by the intensity of his dark gaze. "I feel it would be easier to start with the method I'm already familiar with."
"Rey, you don't want to end up like me," Ben squeezed her hands, betraying his fraught emotions. "When I... when I fell to the dark side, my abilities grew exponentially as I used my hatred and anger. Yes, I grew stronger in the Force, but it was harder to control the fallout from my actions. The easy way is not the right way."
Rey swallowed hard. He was right. She didn't want to go down the path that he had, especially when she'd had so many dark impulses lately.
"Please trust me in this. Start from a state of calm. I'll teach you how to use your emotions later when you've had more practice," Ben promised, letting her go.
"Okay," Rey inhaled sharply. She could do this.
She leaned over and rolled the rock back between them and settled into a meditative state again, doing her best to clear her head of all distractions. She focused on the way her chest emptied and expanded as she drew breath. The flowing web of Force energy came into view of her mind's eye and she slowly reached out. The strands of energy obeyed her will but immediately started trying to escape her grasp. With determination, she latched on to the energy and directed it towards the rock. She would make the Force do her bidding! The rock wobbled but did not leave the ground. She tried to fuel more power towards the task, but that proved to be her undoing and the energy snapped back.
Rey growled under her breath and tried again, sinking back into the trance. But as she reached out again, the sharp sound of a twig snapping underneath someone's foot broke her concentration. She opened her eyes and glared at the newcomer. Sertali froze and offered an apologetic smile.
"There's a transmission for you at the command center," Sertali reported. "Commander Finn wishes to give you a status update of the siege."
"Thank you, Sertali," Rey let her annoyance at the interruption go.
"Good timing," Ben grunted as he rose to his feet. "Let's take a break. We'll resume this lesson after we both eat something."
"But we just started," Rey accepted his helping hand. She brushed dirt and leaves off her backside and checked her timepiece. "It's only... oh, it's time for mid-day meal."
They'd been sitting here for hours! It truly hadn't felt that long. Rey sighed in disappointment. She hadn't made much progress.
Rey followed Ben and Sertali to the canteen and grabbed a bread roll before heading to the command tent. What was she going to do? She wanted to better herself and learn how to be a true Jedi, but how could she if she couldn't learn the so-called proper way of accessing the Force?
The secure hologram was already set up and Finn was waiting for her. He was issuing orders to someone off-screen as Rey walked into view of the holoemitters.
"Rey!" Finn beamed as he caught sight of her.
"Hi Finn," She smiled and something in her settled as she drank in his calming presence. "How goes the siege?"
"Well, we've evaded detection from the Hutts thanks to Snap's diversion and we jammed the site's communications," Finn said. "The stormtroopers there are cut off from the First Order, but they managed to put the facilities on lock-down. The amount of security they have here is ridiculous. We're cutting through the first layer of defenses now. The blast doors they have are made of some pretty dense metal. We've been at it for a few hours."
"Any losses on our side?" Rey asked with bated breath.
Finn shook his head. "Some of our people were injured during the initial ground assault, but the wounds are superficial. Tattara is applying first aid now."
"Glad to hear the siege is going as planned," Rey said. The initial approach had been the riskiest part. "Everything here is running smoothly. Rose and I are keeping things on track. We're going to start up the non-blaster training regimen tomorrow."
"Good. Anything else going on?" Finn said, his tonality more a statement than a question.
"Sounds like you already guessed it," Rey narrowed her eyes. She sighed and admitted defeat. She didn't want to lie to her friend. "Ben is teaching me how to better access the Force. I don't care that Poe is against that. I need a teacher."
"I'm not arguing, I agree with you," Finn raised his hands to calm her ire. "Poe agrees you need instruction as well. He just can't come to terms that your teacher has to be Ben."
"Isn't this mostly why Poe agreed to let Ben stay in the first place?" Rey asked in exasperation.
"He's dealing with a few things. It's not just about Ben," Finn sighed and rubbed his eye before putting on a smile. "So how is the new training going?"
"Slow," Rey grumbled. "He's trying to teach me the proper way to access the Force, but I don't understand how to do it. He's forbidden me from using emotion, so I can't wield the power I usually can."
"I can see his point," Finn mused. "He doesn't want you to get used to summoning the Force through strong emotions. Anger is the strongest, which may turn you to the dark side eventually."
"I've only done that a few times and I was fine," Rey muttered. "When you, Poe, and the rest of the Resistance were trapped in the tunnels on Crait, I used my love and fear for you to lift that mountain of rocks. I know how to power the Force with some other emotion than anger."
"I know, but if Ben can help you master the Force, then it's worth a try doing it his way, isn't it?"
"I've been through so much turmoil in my life, even before I met you in that junkyard on Jakku. There's always been one thing after the other," Rey shrugged. "I don't think I know how to be calm. Whenever I try to focus on my breathing, I get distracted."
"I know what you mean," Finn said, his eyes kind with understanding. "I sometimes have the same problem. I find that if I fixate on an image in my mind, I have better focus."
"An image?" Rey pondered this. She'd never considered focusing on an image before. It was similar enough to concentrating on breathing and gave her active mind something to focus on. "Okay, I'll give it a try. Thanks, Finn."
"Anytime," Finn smiled. A commotion sounded on his end and he turned. "We're almost through the blast doors. I have to go."
"Be safe," Rey pleaded as he ended the transmission. Oh, how she wished she could be there to protect her friends.
She finished eating her bread roll as she communed with the Resistance fighters in the tent and received status updates on the base's operations. They'd been having some issues with outgoing transmissions lately, but Mosla's team had been able to clear it up. Rey headed back to the clearing to get a head start on this new method Finn had proposed. She wanted to try it without Ben there just in case it didn't work as well as she hoped.
Rey dropped into her spot with the rock and crossed her legs. She breathed in the cold, crisp air and let her eyes close. She chose to focus on an image of the view from the waterfall. She could see for miles and get lost in the beautiful scenery. Her breathing deepened as she focused on the winding river; the web of Force energy came into view, overlaying the many branches of the river. Her connection to the Force was stronger than it had been earlier. She dipped a mental hand into the river, but there was nothing to grasp. Rey felt strained as she tried to direct the energy to lift the stupid rock. With a herculean effort, she pushed energy towards the rock. She opened an eye to see the rock wobble and stand on an end, but it didn't lift off the ground.
"That's better than before."
Rey stopped herself from jumping in surprise. Ben was leaning against a tree off to the side, just watching her. She looked at her watch; enough time had passed for mid-day meal to be over.
"What did you do differently this time?" Ben asked curiously as he stalked forward and took a seat before her.
"Finn made the suggestion to focus on an image rather than my breathing," Rey shrugged. "It worked but I still can't get the hang of it."
"Describe it," Ben ordered.
"I can feel the web of Force energy, but when I try and use it, I lose hold of it," Rey huffed in frustration.
"I don't understand," Ben frowned and reached out to cup her face in his palms.
"Oh, what are you doing?!" Rey squeaked at the sudden, intimate contact, her cheeks turning bright red. She hoped with all her might that he couldn't feel the heat.
"Try it again," Ben said. "This time, I'm going to try and experience it with you. Let's hope it works with these damn cuffs on."
"Okay," Rey tried to focus and sink into a trance again.
With some difficulty, she fixed the image of the waterfall view in her mind. She breathed deep and after several minutes, she could see the energy around her. Ben was in the back of her mind, a shadowy presence. Rey reached out and attempted to grab onto the Force ebbing around her and direct it to the rock. The fast-flowing energy ripped itself from her grasp and evaded her efforts to tame it to her will.
"Stop," Ben's voice broke through the trance.
Rey's eyes snapped open. The rock, which had been wobbling, tipped back onto the ground.
"Uh, I can see it, but I can't grab onto it and use it!" Rey slammed her fist into the ground in frustration.
"You're trying to force the energy to your will," Ben said as he sat back. "That's the problem. The Force isn't something you can latch onto."
"But I was able to before tomorrow," Rey argued.
"Emotions are useful because they give you more energy to summon the Force," Ben said. "But using them to trap the energy is a slipshod way of wielding the Force. The more you try to collect, the more it will slip from your grasp as you've found."
"What do you suggest then?" Rey asked, barely holding onto her temper.
"Your image of the waterfall view, it's particularly apt for this case," Ben remarked with a slight smile. "Think of the Force as a fast-flowing river. If you put your hands into the river, how much water can you collect at a time?"
"A handful," Rey supplied the obvious answer.
"That's what happened when you tried to summon the Force right now. You weren't able to wield more energy because you're not capable of doing so yet," Ben explained. "Remember what I taught you earlier. We do not control the Force. We merely redirect it to do our bidding."
"How do I redirect it?" Rey asked, intrigued by this novel concept.
"The same way you would change the flow of water in the river," Ben said. "Guide the energy in a new direction, but don't force it."
"I'll try," Rey said, unsure of herself.
"You can do it," Ben said with certainty.
Rey wished she had his optimism, but this day had been taxing and the dropping temperatures didn't help. She was bundled up, but the cold was still seeping through her warm clothing and making her shiver. She just wanted to go get warm. Rey convinced herself to try this once and if it didn't work, she'd try again. She took in a deep breath of the crisp air and sank back into a meditative trance, bringing up the image of the many rivers again.
Soon her breath was even and slow and she barely noticed the cold weather anymore. The Force energy came into view again and Rey reached out to dip a mental hand into the energy stream. It felt odd not to latch on as she usually did, but she trusted Ben was not leading her astray on this. Rey attempted to divert the energy and some of it flowed as she directed, but the majority of it ignored her command. Rey studied the energy web, taking her time to feel how it moved. It really was like a fast-flowing river, but it was flowing in all directions and moving faster than any river she'd ever seen.
A mental hand wasn't going to divert enough energy to suit her purpose. Rey visualized a giant, concave paddle; she'd seen plenty of scavengers who went into the sand dunes use these to rescue their speeders from sand traps. It certainly moved more sand than their hands would. Perhaps it would suit her needs here too.
Rey imagined herself dipping the paddle into the energy stream and directing it towards the rock. Huge streams of energy meekly obeyed her command and flowed towards the rock. She imagined the rock floating skywards and the Force flowed through her strongly. Rey opened an eye to take a peek at the rock. It was hovering around the height of her head and wasn't wobbling one bit. Rey marveled at the energy flowing through her with no strain; this was amazing! Across from her, Ben was smiling and looking at her with… pride? Rey focused back on the rock and tried diverting more energy. The Force pulsed through her and she directed the rock to turn; it slowly revolved in the air like one of Tawna's roasted birds. Rey beamed in triumph. She was doing it!
Something cold landed on the tip of her nose and Rey yelped at the unexpected sensation. Her concentration broke and the rock thumped back onto the ground, missing both their knees. Rey looked up and started laughing at the flurry of snowflakes descending on them. She held out a hand to catch a few on her palm; the bits of ice quickly turned into water upon contact with her skin.
It hadn't snowed on Ajan Kloss before. Usually, it just rained.
"A planetoid must be blocking the sun," Ben remarked as he caught a snowflake of his own. A few white flakes were catching in his hair and balancing on the tips. "A jungle moon doesn't usually get this cold."
"It is different," Rey laughed and stood up.
She walked out of the cover of the canopy and looked skyward. She began to twirl as snowflakes fell. Though it was freezing, she reveled in getting to experience something new. There'd been precious few times she'd been on a snow-covered planet and each time, she hadn't been able to appreciate it.
Rey's hand was enveloped by a warm grasp and she opened her eyes as she was pulled into Ben's arms. She looked up into his uncharacteristically warm brown eyes as they gently danced among the snowflakes.
"You know how to dance?" Rey asked incredulously.
"Dancing and fighting are opposite sides of the same credit," Ben shrugged. "The footwork and fluidity of movement are similar."
"You're very good at it," Rey giggled as he spun her out into a spin.
This was so different from the last times they'd found themselves on snow-covered planets. Both times, they'd been arguing and trying to kill each other. The warm feeling in her chest grew and chased away the cold nipping at her extremities. She could get used to this. Snow fell around them, the flakes becoming bigger and more chunky.
Ben twirled her back into his arms and their movements slowed into a sway as they gazed into each other's eyes. Rey couldn't name the powerful emotion within her, but it threatened to overpower her with its intensity. She could feel something similar coming through the dyad.
Ben's eyes momentarily flicked to her lips before coming back up to stare deep into her eyes. He leaned in slowly, but Rey pulled back slightly. She raised a palm and brushed her thumb against his warm cheek.
"I'm sorry," Rey whispered, a flicker of uncertainty running through the back of her mind. "I'm not ready yet."
"I understand," Ben assured her, soothing emotions coming through the bond.
Rey breathed a sigh of relief. She'd hoped he wouldn't be angry, but that had been the likely outcome. But she was glad he was taking this well. They needed to take baby steps to rebuild their relationship. She wanted to get to know Ben Skywalker, not Kylo Ren.
Ben backed off a little but didn't loosen his grasp. Rey smiled as he tightened his hold on her and spun her into another flurry of snowflakes.
A/N: Ben's gonna be okay and now Rey has a teacher! Who's ready for some lightsaber training?