A/N: Nick faces an unwanted part of his past, in less-than-ideal circumstances.
This chapter is dedicated to Declanflannery, who composed a beautiful musical piece for Evergreen, which you can find on his YouTube channel (of the same name), or on the Zootopia News Network (ZNN) website. I feel that it really captures the tender, growing relationship between Nick and Judy which I've tried to build in my story. It's a lovely song, so do give it a listen!
Secondly, we've hit 20 chapters! Coincidentally with the 100,000-word milestone as well, with over 400 reviews, 400 favs, and 600 follows. It's been so long since I first started writing this story, and the last milestone I made was all the way back in chapter 8. I'd like to thank all of you for sticking with this story to this point, even when it took longer to update at times. And for providing so much feedback, which has definitely helped to improve the story as a whole. We're getting to the core of the story now, so I hope you will continue to walk with me, all the way to the end.
Thanks to BeecroftA, Declanflannery, Bloodfox22, aomagrat, Tinbuzzard11, Wolfx1120, Blkdragon7, imjustlikehumphery, J Shute, Mikey2084, side-fish, MapleHoneySyrup, Guest, InTheLionsDenOnDA, RassyEyefur, BoltDMC, Medic 27, |||Fenris|||, Cimar of Turalis WildeHopps, and D Fox for reviewing! And a special thanks to BeecroftA for editing this chapter.
Chapter 20: Unmuzzled Melody
This can't be happening.
Actually, it could. In fact, thinking about it again, Nick wondered why this hadn't happened sooner. Of course a police academy would have to teach its cadets how to muzzle suspects. Even without the Nighthowler incident, there were legitimate—although rare—circumstances where muzzles would have to be used when apprehending a suspect. It was why the accursed things existed in the first place, after all.
Carrots never mentioned this being part of the training, though…Nick thought. Maybe she never had to go through it.
Or maybe she did, and just didn't want to bring it up.
Nick took a deep breath. It didn't matter now; all that mattered was getting through this in one piece. It wasn't going to be anything like that horrible day. At least, that was what he told himself. All he had to do was to stay quiet and keep under the radar, and hopefully it would be over with soon.
"…so as you can see, these are the various sizes of muzzles that the ZPD currently uses. All of them useful in preventing a mammal from using their teeth to rip you to shreds. Don't think that it's just the predators that are dangerous. A hippo's bite has enough force to snap any of your necks like a twig. And a hare's teeth could rip out your jugular." Instructor Friedkin continued her prolonged monologue. "The muzzles we use are Grade A quality, so you won't have to worry about them trying to bite through it. Most of them have a similar design and operation, which is what I will be demonstrating right now. Which means I need a volunteer! Preferably someone with a big mouth…hey, where's Wilde?"
Oh you've got to be kidding me.
As if on cue, all the mammals in the circle turned to look straight at him. The large rhino that he was hiding behind stepped aside as well, leaving nothing blocking Friedkin's line of sight.
"There you are! Get over here, Wilde! I think we're all going to enjoy this."
The crowd chuckled audibly.
Calm down. Relax. Don't let them see it. Nick repeated in his head. He shrugged, jogging over to the centre of the circle.
"Have you been waiting a long time for this, ma'am?" Nick chuckled, more coolly than he felt on the inside. Seeing a single muzzle was one thing; seeing so many of them lined up ominously in a crate was another.
"You should know the answer to that question, Wilde." Friedkin grunted, before turning back to the rest of the cadets. "Now listen up! There are two times you can put a muzzle on. The first is when the target is tranquilised and motionless. The second way is when you have no choice but to muzzle them while they're still moving. Which in case you didn't know, is a terrible idea!"
Nick felt his eardrums throbbing in his head, but he forced himself not to make a show of covering his ears while the polar bear continued her rant.
"You can get it on, yes, but you'll probably lose an arm or a paw in the process, if you're lucky. Always remember! The first thing to do is to make sure to restrain your target. Arms and legs, first and foremost. Ideally, your partner should hold the suspect down while you put the muzzle on."
Friedkin paused, looking around the room.
"Where's your fluffy brown sidekick, Wilde?"
"Medical centre, ma'am. Getting his arm checked out." Nick replied tersely.
"Hmm." was the only response from Friedkin before she turned back to the muzzle in her hands.
"As with tranquiliser darts, muzzles come in multiple standard-issue sizes. This one here can fit foxes, smaller-sized cats, deer, even rabbits, though you'll have to tighten the strap going around their face to the last notch. To put it on, grip the muzzle from the end here, and then push it down hard and quick."
Before Nick could process the words, Friedkin held the muzzle right in front of his face and did just that. The moment the base of the muzzle made contact with his fur, Nick's heart jumped straight into his mouth. It took all his restraint not to shout out, or to take a swipe to bat the horrid metal contraption away from his face. He willed his body to remain as still as it could be, despite feeling like screaming on the inside.
"No snarky comment today, Wilde?" Friedkin asked.
"Oh, I'm just fine. Just wondering whether the muzzle comes with a straitjacket and a dolly for you to wheel me around like Hannibull Lecter." Nick replied through gritted teeth.
"Ah, there we go. For a moment, I thought the muzzle actually stopped you from talking." Friedkin snorted in amusement. "Muzzles can't do that, sadly. Not these models, anyway."
She turned back to the other recruits. "Now, after securing it over the suspect's mouth, you need to tighten the straps behind their head. If they're conscious, always press their face down away from you, or grip their necks. Their instinctive response would be to struggle and shake their heads to try and get the muzzle off. Don't give them that chance."
Nick felt a heavy paw press against the back of his head. He scrambled to stop himself from falling over forward onto the ground, while he felt straps being tightened behind him. The rest of the cadets snickered to themselves.
"And that's how you put a muzzle on. Alright, Wilde! Raise your head and turn around a few times, show the others what a proper restraint looks like."
The crowd's chuckles turned into laughter as Nick turned around twice, to top off the complete and utter humiliation of the whole affair. This was the tipping point. For all his efforts to hold it back, seeing the muzzle around his mouth and hearing the laughter was the last straw, causing every single unpleasant detail of that night to come rushing back in an overflowing torrent.
It's not…it doesn't get to you. It doesn't.
The laughing was not nearly as derogatory or mocking as that night, but for some reason, derision was all he could hear. He wanted to run, to fight, to do anything at all. But his body wasn't responding. All he could do was to stand there…staring blankly ahead.
It doesn't.
"Alright, form your pairs and get your muzzles! Make sure you test the different sizes and get used to putting it on and taking it off. I'll give a debrief in twenty minutes before we move on to the next part of the lesson. Get moving!" Friedkin called out. The rest of the recruits broke their circular formation and began crowding around the muzzle-filled crates, picking them up and inspecting them.
With the crowd's eyes finally off of him, Nick felt the blood circulating through his legs once more. He immediately slunk off to the side with the muzzle still tightened firmly around him. At the very least, it did a fairly good job of hiding the growing scowl on his face. He gave a quick glance back to make sure no one was watching him. Unfortunately…
"Hey Nick, want to partner up?" Hobbs—the tiger from his bunk—called out, jogging over towards him. Nick forced the scowl away and chuckled.
"Sure, Hobbs. But I'm going to the washroom first. You can go ahead with the others." Nick motioned to the tiger.
Hobbs seemed to want to say something, but Nick didn't wait for a response, walking past the rest of the recruits and towards the door.
He pushed the door open—with a little more force than he expected—and headed straight down the hallway that led out of the building. Once he was outside, he moved as fast as he could, making a sharp right turn towards an outer staircase that he'd noticed on the way into the building earlier. Considering the layout of the building, he suspected that it led to an outer balcony on the second floor.
He took the stairs two at a time, his paws fumbling along the back of his head, feeling for the catch to loosen the muzzle. He finally reached the top of the stairs, and true enough, it appeared to be a small open balcony. Nick quickly glanced around. Other than a few potted plants lined neatly together on his immediate left and a steel door on the far end on his right—which most likely led to the second-floor seats of the hall—the balcony was deserted.
It felt just like that night all over again. Running out of the building, turning the nearest corner, and slumping against the wall while struggling not to bawl his eyes out.
Mercifully, this time, there wasn't any cruel laughter in the air as he left.
There was a click, and he felt the muzzle loosen around his face. He yanked it off instantly, taking a moment to glare at the accursed thing sitting in his paw. It obviously couldn't feel the weight of Nick's disgusted glare boring into it, but he would've liked that to have been the case. Like before, he pulled his arm back to toss it away…
…but he hesitated.
Ever so slowly, Nick lowered his arm, and slumped to the ground next to the garden, leaning back against the stone wall beside the stairs. He tilted his head back, gently knocking it against the hard, cool surface. It was a jarring sensation, but at this point, it was more than welcome. He needed a few quiet moments to calm himself. But just a few. He had to go back to the training hall soon, or people would be asking questions.
He looked down beside him, forcing himself to look at the muzzle again.
…No. Not this time.
This wasn't something he could run away from. As much as he hated and detested the thing in his paw with every fibre of his being, he was going to have to get used to wearing it…and putting it on other mammals as well.
It's okay. It's just a stupid piece of plastic and metal. Nick repeated in his head. This isn't like before, and I just need a moment to collect myself. Besides, no one else here knows about this, and I need to keep it that way. The last thing I need would be some stupid heart-to-heart talk about—
"…Nick?"
His eyes shot open from the sudden sound. His ears perked up, swivelling around. It couldn't have been. His eyes darted left, then right, but there was no one there. He wondered if he was hallucinating. But the voice, it sounded so real, and it sounded just like…
"…Nick, are you okay?"
The voice was clearer now. Nick sat up straight, just as a shadow of two long ears emerged from the stairs, which was soon followed by a small, grey-furred face.
Impossible.
"I'm scared to even ask what you're doing here…Carrots." Nick managed, taking a deep breath.
Upon hearing his words, Judy slowly walked up to him. Her ears were drooping, and although Nick wasn't an expert in bunny body language, he was quite sure the concern on her face wasn't for herself.
"I came here to attend a meeting with the academy planning committee. ZPD business. I heard that your unit was having suspect apprehension classes here, so I thought I'd pop by. And…"
"And you found me. So why the long face?" Nick chuckled. He watched as Judy's eyes travelled downwards, looking at his side.
Without a word, Judy sat on the ground right next to him. She gently lifted the muzzle in her paws, before looking back at him. She seemed unsure of what to say, or how to say it. A multitude of possibilities were already racing through Nick's mind, but he forced himself to remain silent, and wait for the inevitable question.
"…I saw you coming out of the hall, wearing this thing," Judy mumbled, holding the muzzle for emphasis. "That night that you told me about…did it happen again?"
Nick allowed the question a few seconds to breathe, leaning back against the wall once more.
"Are you worried about that? This is nothing compared to back then. It's not worth getting your ears all droopy over. Not in the slightest." He chuckled again, trying to lighten the mood.
"You say that, but…you don't look all that well." Judy shook her head.
"I always look like this. You told me I only have two expressions, remember? Sarcastic and more sarcastic."
Judy frowned. Nick sighed in response.
"You're not going to leave me alone until I 'talk about my deepest darkest fweelings', are you?" he said in a mocking voice.
"Nick, that's not what I mean…it's just…" she sighed, letting the sentence hang.
There were a few awkward seconds between them, with both of them glancing away from each other. Almost instantly, Nick felt a wave of guilt wash over him. He pinched the bridge of his nose, groaning inwardly.
"…Look, Carrots," Nick finally said, breaking the silence. "I appreciate your concern, really. But I'm fine. I'm not the same sensitive kit that I was back then. I'm still not going to like this, that's all."
He took the muzzle from Judy, turning it over in his paws a couple of times, before tightening his grip on it.
"Having it on me is one thing, but putting it on other mammals is another. When I think about doing it, the only person I see on the other end is…me. Guess getting over that won't be so easy."
Nick lowered his paw, waiting to hear Judy's response. The bunny was silent.
Then, without saying a word, she reached towards Nick's paws, and placed both of her own paws on his. The motion made Nick raise an eyebrow curiously; he hadn't expected that to be her response. The muzzle was still being held in his paws, but now Judy's smaller paws were holding his.
What are you doing, Carrots?
Gently, the bunny brought Nick's paws up towards her face. He couldn't stop his eyes from widening ever so slightly as she guided his paws to press the muzzle…right over her own face. A part of him inside yelled to pull the disgusting thing away, but he couldn't muster the strength to. In the end, he allowed himself to relinquish control, and let her take the lead.
"There, it's not so bad, right?" she asked softly through the muzzle.
Nick wasn't sure if her ears could pick up on his heart beating faster all of a sudden. For some reason, seeing her like this—small and vulnerable—stirred something deep inside him. He slowly closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Judy let go of his paws, and after a few seconds longer of holding the muzzle against her face, he pulled it away.
"…Heh, that was certainly unexpected. You never cease to surprise, Carrots." Nick chuckled.
"Well, I think I deserve it after what I said at that press conference before. Maybe when I came back to find you, I should've asked you to do this to me, to make up for the stupid things I said."
"Nah, you calling yourself a dumb bunny was far more entertaining. But I appreciate the effort you're taking to muzzle yourself here."
"It's not like there's another bunny here for you to muzzle." Judy said with a soft smile. Nick smirked to himself at her comment, pushing himself to his feet.
"True…anyway, thanks for that. I'd better be going back to the training hall."
"I could come with you," Judy said, standing up as well now. "You need a partner to practice doing this with, right? I think it would be easier for you if I helped."
"Thanks for the offer, Carrots, but I'm quite sure muzzling you won't really count for passing the class. That'd be too easy."
Judy raised an eyebrow.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
The tone in her voice gave Nick pause. "Well, I mean, it's pretty easy to muzzle a bunny, all things considered. I'm sure to pass that class, I'd have to muzzle something bigger. A wolf, at the very least."
"You really think it would be easy to muzzle me?" Judy folded her arm with a smirk, sounding quite amused.
"Wouldn't it? I'm sure it couldn't be much harder than what just happened." Nick replied, smirking right back at her. He didn't want to say it out loud, but he really did feel better after what she just did for him. And he did secretly wish that she would be there in the training hall with him. At the same time though, the attention that Judy would inevitably have drawn would probably have been more trouble than it was worth.
"I see you've still got a thing or two to learn about me, Slick. I bet you couldn't muzzle me if you tried. Assuming I don't let you, of course." The bunny shot back.
"Is that a challenge?" Nick crossed his arms, mimicking her pose.
"I'm starting to think it is." Judy replied.
"What do you propose?"
"Hmm…" Judy put a finger to her lip in contemplation. "How about a one-on-one fight? Winner is whoever can pin the other one down. Loser has to do anything the winner wants."
"Anything?" Nick replied, his ears perking up. "That sounds dangerous."
"Within reason, of course. We can work out the specifics later. So, what do you say?"
Nick rubbed his chin thoughtfully. The surprises seemed to keep on coming. His instinct told him that Judy was up to something. She wouldn't have made such a dangerous proposition otherwise. And yet…this could very well be the best opportunity he was ever going to get.
"You're on."
The bunk was quiet.
A pair of weary feet stepped into the room, followed by a long sigh. The feet belonged to a red fox, who mumbled to himself as he trudged towards the end of the room. His mind felt clouded, like murky water, swirling around without being able to settle. So many different thoughts, all talking at the same time, vying for his attention. Before he knew it, he found himself sitting down on his bed. He pulled his t-shirt and shorts off and grabbed a fresh pair from inside his locker. As much as Judy liked to call him a slob, he still wasn't going to lie on his bed wearing the same clothes he'd used throughout the day. Still, even though his body felt relief to be in a fresh pair of clothes, that relief didn't quite extend to his inner thoughts.
A fight? How did it even come to that?
His mind kept playing back the entire sequence of events in the balcony, over and over like a broken record. After agreeing to the fight, Nick had convinced Judy that it wasn't necessary for her to accompany him back to the training hall, and that he would handle the rest of the muzzle training himself. She'd eventually agreed, albeit reluctantly. He'd also managed to convince her to head back home first, rather than just wait around for him to be done with the rest of the day's training. She was gone now, but he couldn't seem to get the thought of her out of his head.
Why do I keep thinking of her wearing a muzzle and holding my paws? The way she did it…it felt like…
There was a tenderness there that he hadn't felt for so many years. Gentle and caring. It reminded him so much of…her.
Nick's eyes shot open. He'd completely forgotten about it until now, and the accompanying realisation hit him like a truck.
The loser of the fight has to do anything the winner wants.
He suddenly had a nagging hunch of what Carrots would ask him to do if she wasn't a hundred percent sure, but based on how she had been acting, there was a more than likely chance that she was going to use her prize to make him 'reunite' with his mom.
Nick exhaled, letting himself sink into his bed—though there wasn't much to sink into—and relax. He was overthinking things. There wasn't anything to worry about, he told himself. Not as long as he won the fight. And once he did, he would have a neat little prize of his own. The possibilities were endless, although he did have a specific couple of ideas in mind. Mostly to say—
"Hey, Nick."
Nick looked up from the bed with a start. Robbie's head was sticking upside down from the top bunk. Nick hadn't even noticed the brown bunny lying on his bed when he walked into the bunk. It made sense though, now that he thought about it. The doctor likely sent the stubborn bunny back to the bunk to recuperate.
"Oh hey, Flatfoot. I didn't notice you there. Guess you were right when you said you tended to be invisible to everyone. So, what did the doc say?"
Robbie held out his arm, revealing a neoprene brace on his wrist. "I'll be fine; she told me to take it easy for a few days. How was the training?"
Awful. Horrible. Traumatic. Which one to pick…Nick thought.
"Boring, as usual. By the way, you got lucky for once. Carrots was here today; she came for a meeting with some of the academy bigwigs. She saw the training, too. Would have seen you if you were there, that's for sure."
"Yeah…I know." Robbie replied.
Nick did a double take. Robbie seemed unnaturally…hesitant. Not in his usual way. Something was definitely up.
"You knew? How?"
Robbie swallowed, his head still upside down. Nick could almost see the bunny's ears turning red from the blood rushing to them.
"The doc was done with me in like, two minutes, so I figured I'd go back to the training hall and watch the rest of the lesson. But when I got outside, I saw you sitting on the balcony and holding a muzzle. I was going to go up, but then I heard my sister's voice, so I ducked under the patio you were on. And…I kinda heard what you two spoke about."
Oh great, now TWO bunnies know about what happened earlier. Just great. Nick groaned inwardly.
"So, it was just a coincidence that you hid in a place where you could hear our entire conversation? You weren't, say…eavesdropping?" Nick leaned back against his pillow.
"N-no."
Nick glared straight at Robbie.
"I mean yes," he squeaked.
"Thought so." Nick sighed. "Well, I guess you would have noticed eventually. So at least now you know that I have a legitimate reason to bop you over the head if you carry a muzzle near me." he chuckled.
"I'll try not to. But Nick, can I ask you something?"
"What's that?"
Robbie didn't answer immediately, instead pulling his head back up for a moment. The bunny seemed to be contemplating the question. Or maybe there was too much blood in his brain after being upside-down for so long. After a good thirty seconds, his head finally appeared again. He took a deep breath.
"Do you have a crush on my sister?"
If Nick had been drinking anything, he would have done a spit-take. The first thing that came to mind was a slight relief that he wasn't looking straight at Robbie when he asked that question. But his eyes were still wide as dinner plates, which wasn't exactly a mild reaction. At this point, it was too late to try and narrow them, so he just let them hang open while his already-muddled brain tried to process both the implications of that question, and the best—or any—response to it.
In the end, he could only lie there, staring straight at the underside of the bunk bed while the upside-down bunny watched him.
"I don't hear you denying it…" Robbie continued, his eyes twinkling ever so slightly.
Nick finally found the switch in his brain that allowed him to move his eyes, and he finally managed to glance over at the bunny.
He then reached out his paw, grabbed Robbie's long ears and yanked straight down. Robbie yelped as he fell off the bed, but before he could hit the ground, Nick caught him by his waist and held the wide-eyed bunny in mid-air for a few seconds, before gently tossing him onto his own bed.
He smirked, feeling slightly better about himself now.
"Whatever gave you that impression, Flatfoot?" Nick said, as Robbie shook his head, pushing himself into a sitting position in front of him.
"I dunno. It just felt like it. I heard you opening up to her about something in your past, with the muzzles and all…I don't think you'd do that for just anyone. And the way you looked when she held your paw, and the fact that you're sleeping with her—I mean, in the same room as her. So…is it true?"
Nick hesitated. This wasn't part of the plan. Finnick was one thing, but Robbie? He was literally Judy's brother. And yet, at this point, it didn't look like he had much choice in the matter.
"Well, I could say no…" Nick started, making a motion with his paws and uncrossing his legs on his bed. He glanced around the room again, making sure there wasn't anyone else in there beside the two of them. "…But I guess that wouldn't be a hundred percent accurate."
"Oh, okay then. Does she know?" Robbie replied without missing a beat.
"Wait, that's it? 'Oh, okay then'? That's all you're going to say?" Nick sat up now, raising an eyebrow.
"Umm…congratulations? Well, that would depend on whether she already knows or not, and whether I was supposed to know…which I'm starting to think I'm not."
Nick narrowed his eyes.
"Right! Sorry…I think I'll stop talking about it now and pretend I never saw anything." Robbie hastily replied, scrambling to get back up on his bed. Before the bunny could scurry away, Nick grabbed his arm—making sure it was the uninjured one.
"Oh no you don't. You don't get to say something like that and then try to back away." Nick glared at him. He wished he had more time to think this through, especially since the other cadets could return at any moment.
"Uhh…so what would you like me to say?" Robbie asked sheepishly.
Nick groaned, wondering why Judy couldn't have showed up any other day than today.
"I'm just wondering why you haven't even mentioned trying to blackmail me with this information."
"What? Of course not!" Robbie looked almost insulted by the notion. "Why would I do something like that?"
"I don't know…maybe because I did something similar to you this morning with threatening to tell your sister if you didn't see a doctor?"
"Oh come on, how am I even supposed to tell her without giving away that I'm at the academy? And besides, we both know that me trying to avoid the doc was just me being stubborn and stupid, since I could've actually broken my arm."
"Wait wait, back up a moment. Could you say that last part again, for the record?" Nick held up his phone. Robbie chuckled, leaning against the bedframe.
"Look, Nick. I'm not going to make you do anything that you aren't prepared to do. But if you ask me, I'd say there's a good chance she'd take it well. Or better, in fact. She didn't seem bothered at all with the way that she let you muzzle her."
"It was more like she muzzled herself, really…" Nick paused. "Wait, if you were under the patio beneath us, how did you manage to see that muzzling bit?"
Robbie gulped. "Well, it got kinda quiet, so I kinda…stuck my head out to take a peek."
"I see." Nick deadpanned for the second time in minutes. "And I suppose you also saw the part where she suddenly decided to challenge me to a fight?"
"Yeah…I did. Loser has to do whatever the winner wants, right?"
"Within reason. Though I suppose we should have gotten a lawyer to specify what that actually means."
"Have you thought about what you'll do if you win?" Robbie asked curiously.
"A couple of things. But more importantly, I need to make sure Carrots doesn't win. I can take my time to figure out what I want later. As much as I made fun of her for it, I don't expect her to make it easy on me. I've heard the stories about the training she went through to make it through here. And I know she hates to lose."
"Yeah, that sounds about right. Is there anything I can do to help?" Robbie asked.
Nick raised an eyebrow. "You want to help me?"
"Of course. Why wouldn't I?"
"Against your own sister?"
"I don't see why not. You're my friend too, Nick. And besides, it would be nice to see the great Judy Hopps lose for once." The slightest of grins formed on the side of his mouth.
"Heh, fair enough. Since you already know the details, I think I could use your help in beating her, Flatfoot. Once your arm is better, of course."
For a moment, it seemed that there was a little bit of concern on the bunny's face, but it was gone as soon as it had appeared.
"Sure, Nick." Robbie glanced down at his arm, gently squeezing it. "By the way, do you have any idea what Judy would do if she wins?"
Nick chuckled to himself.
"I believe I do. Which is why I'm going to make sure she doesn't."