THE MANDALORIAN AND THE JEDI - II.1
ACT 1. APART AGAIN.
PART 1.1. Peridea. - 5.1
Sabine looked up at the stars, her thoughts wandering towards a lonesome tower amidst a sea of grass, until a strong gust of wind buffeted her and shook her back to reality. She swung down her helmet's scanner, looking for signs of intrusion as she continued her watch.
It's time to move on.
Those were the words of her master, nearly two years ago. Her master continued, these words echoing at her from her memory :
And so are we.
They were all where they were meant to be, she said to her that night. That thought, more than anything else, was able to quiet her soul and make her realize a peculiar truth about the duality of life : in order to do good, one has to learn let go.
The first few months immediately after they were left behind on this planet were spent training under Ahsoka. Though she was already well-prepared through her previous apprenticeship under her - it also helped that she was witness to Ezra's journey under Kanan, including experiencing first-hand the pitfalls of giving in to anger, impatience, and the desire to hate and control - her master had thought it necessary to refine and consolidate her training now that she was finally able to touch the Force. However, they still had to tend to the puzzle nobody else had seen coming : what was the master of the pair of dark Jedi after?
Then that time came. Whatever it was that was awakened on this planet, it was gone now - and with it the one who unwittingly released it, his apprentice, and her own master, all expended in the battle to extinguish the abomination and keep it from wreaking havoc across the cosmos. At the last - and when she thought it was finally her turn to be consumed - she saw a light come out of Ahsoka, seeming to simultaneously erase the threat as well as restore the very fabric of this planet itself. Life had finally returned to Peridea as a result, but it would take decades, even centuries, for it to fully manifest.
That was more than a year ago now. She had been left alone on this planet, the last of the four force-wielders who arrived from the known galaxy to have survived.
As she continued to scan the starlight-illuminated landscape during her vigil, images of the phantoms Ezra spoke of returned to her, coming in the night and taking the forms of her parents, her brother, and her crew, or the Jedi of the bygone era that her master must have known - and how they vanished from the face of this planet after the battle. She shivered, and felt glad at least that they were now just a memory, and the least of her worries. The nightly watch was now mostly concerned with the straying of dangerous beasts and the occasional attacks of raiders - both of which were becoming more and more seldom as the planet healed itself of corruption.
She breathed in the cold air and closed her eyes for a moment to rest them a bit; even in those few seconds she sensed, almost imperceptibly, the essence of her master pervade her surroundings. She still didn't understand completely what happened that day - and she fully expected that she never will - but she felt that her master's sacrifice had remade this planet for the better.
PART 1.2. Peridea. - 5.2 - Reminiscences.
She rested her hands on her belt as she continued to survey her surroundings, then she felt and heard a light tap on her greaves. She turned around to what had called her attention and went down on one knee.
"Oh, thank you", she said to the small female Noti in its native language as she accepted a steaming bowl of soup from her. "This will warm me right up, auntie", she said cheerfully as she acknowledged her with a nod. The creature chattered back happily, telling her to stop being so stubborn and make sure to keep herself warm; a moment later and the motherly instincts of the old Noti female kicked in, telling her that she'll come back to bring her a blanket just to be sure since the wind was especially cold tonight.
They were good people, the Noti, and their existence was an absolute wonder in a planet seemingly only filled previously with horrors. For centuries their way of life had forced them to become nomads - scrounging whatever they could from the land - but now that their world was finally cleansed, they had their first real chance to thrive.
She could have died up in the frozen heights of the mountains if not for these people, weakened and wounded after the battle. When she came to several days later, she found herself being nursed by the women of these loyal folk. It was only several months afterwards, when she had finally made sense of their peculiar language, that she found out that the men of this Noti clan - the same one that Ezra had nurtured and protected during his years of exile - had followed her and Ahsoka shortly after they departed to meet their fates in a bid to assist in any way they could, despite feeling themselves too small and powerless to make a real difference. When they arrived, they found her unconscious and nearly buried in the snow. After recovering from her injuries, she swore to take the mantle of protector to these people in place of her dearest friend, much like what she did years earlier on Lothal.
This past year, she had helped them attempt to establish their first permanent settlement in decades : helping to build homes - the Noti preferred building into the earth rather than on the surface, with a curiously unconventional preference for round windows and doors - as well as cultivating the seeds of their staple foods, long-dormant and newly brought out into the light of day after being carefully stowed away in the Noti elders' caravans for so long. Alongside this she also began selecting the boldest of their number for combat training as well as field engineering so that they can learn how to defend themselves. They harvested their first crop of assorted foodstuffs just this past month; the group she'd been training, meanwhile, had finally reached a point where they were able to fend off raider attacks with relative ease through discipline and clever use of strategically-placed ramparts made of stone and tamped earth, even when she was away with a ranging party. Peace and stability has completely changed the lives of these people.
She took a quick glance back at the village and admired all the progress they had made in such a short time. As she looked down on her soup, she felt immense pride that every single morsel she saw in it had been grown or caught in their surroundings by this community that she was watching over; it felt good to be able to make a difference again, to be able to contribute to a worthy cause. "I don't even think they need me anymore at this point, to be honest", she murmured to herself proudly.
Turning around to resume her watch, she sat on a nearby rock and laid the bowl down on her lap. She reached up and removed her scoured and dented helmet - which was in much the same condition as her spaulders and chest plate - and let her hair down, black as the new moon but heavily streaked with many white hairs from her decade of despair. Only the ends bore the tiniest hints of the vibrant purple that she'd dyed her then-shortly cropped hair with when she left Lothal. She now smoothed and flung her long tresses back, then turned her attention to the steaming bowl on her knees, taking the horn spoon it came with. It warmed her insides and made the bitter chill of the night feel a bit easier to bear.
Her hair, once a focus of her attention and an outlet for her endless creativity, was frizzy now, long, and undyed. The battle had also claimed her master's ship - and with it, all the supplies and equipment she and her master had brought from their home galaxy before they were separated. What remained was Huyang's precious data bank which she only just managed to salvage from the wreckage. Even her blasters had run out of ammunition, so she replaced them with a crude rifle she took from one of the raiders she and her diminutive comrades had taken out; mostly, though, she only had her wits, her lightsaber, and the Force to protect her and her new tribe. Just like Ezra before her, she was truly stranded and left to all that this place had in store for her.
In the distance, she spied a sparkle of reflected starlight in the distance from the ridge that they had chosen for their fledgling village - she'd quickly taken the topography of this landscape to heart, the better to take advantage of easily defensible positions should the ranging parties reconnoitering potential threats, hunting game, or gathering herbs come suddenly under attack - and realized that it was somewhere familiar and dear to her heart. She remembered the words she heard when she first entered the camp that had been set up along the shores of that glistening body of water.
I knew I could count on you.
She remembered her family - her father, mother, and brother - back in their halls at Krownest; Hera, Kanan, and Zeb, the family she found on the Ghost; she remembered Jacen, her adoptive nephew; and she remembered Ezra, who taught her by his example her final lesson even before Ahsoka put it into words and made her understand its meaning. She had let him go, finally, so that they could fulfill their own destinies, what they were meant to do; she couldn't help but think about how her friend had also done the same, more than twelve years ago now in the skies above Lothal, and endured a decade in this desolate place.
She closed her eyes and concentrated on him, trying to establish a connection through the Force just like Ahsoka did when she first came here. As she expected, there was nothing; the distance between them was simply too great. Despite that, she felt sure that he was happy, wherever he was. She turned her attention to the rest of her adoptive family - Hera, Jacen, and Zeb - and felt the same way. She smiled, and thanked the stars for this gift. Just like Ahsoka and herself, Ezra had also succeeded and ultimately did what he was meant to do.
I'll come back for you - I promise.
That was what he said at their second parting. Whether he eventually could or not, she felt that her fate was inescapable; something to accept rather than fight or even hope against. Her heart ached for home; but if staying here forever was the price she had to pay for everything that has happened, she had resolved to make peace with that reality.
As she heard the hum of activity behind her in the village, she thought to herself what it must have been like for him. She shuddered to think of the horrors that had roamed this planet previously; the Noti had told her of stories which made her blood run cold, and that more than once, they had to nurse Ezra back to health, or even from the brink of death.
"That's just like him", she thought to herself, remembering how he'd risk his life over and over again if it meant helping others - a quality he'd learned from them all on the Ghost. Owing to her time on this planet, though, she now understood how much harder it was to keep yourself and your values together in the face of such desperate circumstances. It made her admire him even more that she found him just as he was when they were first separated - apart from his appearance, of course, and the maturity that a decade had brought to him - the light in his spirit resolute and untouched by his ordeal.
"What do you even look like now, I wonder?", she thought to herself as she sat on the ground, hugging her knees for comfort.
Her thoughts wandered to the night of their reunion, a warm, intense, yet comfortable feeling creeping down from her cheeks and into her chest, allowing herself a respite from her loneliness and to reminisce. She remembered herself surrendering after all the tragedies she had endured, and how she found herself pouring out her tears and heartaches on his shoulder; she remembered herself wanting to take all of him, and how she suddenly found her lips hungrily enveloping his. She focused on the memory of themselves wrapped around each other as she held onto him in a moment of passion; she then remembered him shaking, as if holding himself back. When she thought she had ruined everything between them, he comforted her and told her that everything between them was alright. She remembered the kiss they shared after that, more conscious and tender, full of warmth and gentleness, that told her that what he was saying was true. She remembered them afterwards, talking - and laughing, occasionally - her telling him of what had happened back home in the ten years he was away.
She smiled ruefully as she looked back at their last parting, when she let the truth of what she really felt flow into him.
"We were simply out of time, Ez", she said sadly.
She heard the grass rustling behind her, bringing her back to the present.
"Thanks for getting this for me, auntie", she said cheerfully in the Noti tongue as she felt a blanket being wrapped from behind her - but instead of the familiar chattering, she felt the touch of a hand on her shoulder instead. She started. Turning around, she found a familiar, clean-shaven face smiling at her. He was kneeling, clad in a gray tunic, his face barely a few inches away from hers.
"Hey, love", he said, as he reached out to tenderly caress her face - but the moments ticked by with her only staring at him. Tears streamed down her expressionless face as her breath grew heavier.
"Sabine?", he asked as he gazed at her intently, wiping the tears away. Suddenly, she fell into him - as if weary from all the years they'd spent apart - closing the gap between them, and pulled him in a tight embrace.
"Ezra...", she whispered yearningly as she planted her lips on his.
PART 1.3. Phantom.
Ezra had woken up to a loud bang earlier that day, signalling that they had exited hyperspace. He folded up the bed and resumed his position on the pilot's seat of the Phantom II, surveying what he had before him.
"She's all yours", he remembered Hera saying to him at the beginning of the war against Thrawn.
"I… I'm honored, but I can't take it. I already took one Phantom too many", he joked.
"You're going to need it more than I will", she answered back, smiling. "Don't you worry about me. I'd give you the Ghost if I didn't already know you'd be this difficult with just the Phantom II", she added. "Take it, Ezra. Besides, we're already stretched thin as it is against the Remnant. As one of only two active Jedi that we know of left, you're simply too valuable not to be as mobile and capable as you possibly can be. Luke has his X-Wing, and I thought this one suited you best. It's only fitting that one of the Spectres finally inherited it", she ended her point in the motherly tones only she could impress on him.
"I couldn't refuse my mom even if I tried", he thought fondly, returning Hera's smile and nodding to signal to her that he had yielded. She then proceeded to run him through the upgrades and modifications she made on the shuttle - which, frankly, was staggering, especially since all of them were crammed into the narrow space that could barely fit the whole Ghost crew before.
She had made heavy modifications on it - with the help of an eccentric female mechanic she had made an acquaintance of during an undercover mission on Tatooine during the later stages of the rebellion - and he knew for sure that Vizago had contributed a great deal to the gear that made them possible. The engine was replaced with a far more powerful one together with stronger stabilizers and even nosejets, so that while it still could only barely match the full speed of an X-Wing or TIE, it would certainly give them both a run for their money when it came to acceleration and maneuverability. The two forward lasercannons on the port and starboard sides were replaced, the first of which of which now packed a heavier punch - "Enough to blow up a TIE or two with one shot", Hera reckoned - while the other was tuned for extreme rapid-fire strafing. Shielding was also added to finally do away with the Phantom II's vulnerability to both small-arms fire up to a few shots from the latest fighter armaments. Signature scramblers were also installed so that it could function according to its name, just like the Ghost. A new powersource was also fit in to feed all of the new systems. For all intents and purposes, the Phantom II was now a starfighter disguised as a harmless shuttle.
As for the interior, the entire right side behind the pilot's seat, along the length of the ship, now consisted of a compartment filled with the major functional additions. A small fuel bay to get the ship going for at least a half a decade on low power mode, communications, and life-support systems online if need be was fitted in the first section at the back - behind, of course, a reinforced wall to protect it from incoming fire when the rear was open. From that wall hung a rack containing a blaster carbine as well as assorted utility, survival, and repair equipment, and was fitted for easy access from either inside the ship while in transit or outside when the hatch was open while landed. Just behind the pilot's seat was a fully enclosed, cramped yet well-equipped refresher cubicle, with an even tinier food and water dispenser behind it. Slid under both the pilot's and co-pilot's seats in regular store-bought containers were several year's worth of portable meals - the kind that was completely flat until you opened and rehydrated it. On the free side of the ship behind the co-pilot's seat, the four fold-down seats were left largely intact, except that they were now welded together and had an additional section that could be pulled out so that the entire thing could be used as a bed for one person fairly comfortably, or two if they were exceptionally close - Hera told a funny story about sending Zeb and Kallus on a reconnaissance mission to Jakku with only the Phantom II just before the final battle that occurred there, and how the usually prim-and-proper former Imperial discussed his report mumbling gibberish at times, with bloodshot eyes and looking dishevelled, after spending a sleepless week enduring the hulking Lasat's snoring. It was all neatly done and well-thought out, just like one would expect from Hera, especially if she had enough time on her hands.
"It's almost like you're expecting me to get stranded for ten years on some rock again", he remembered quipping as he chuckled, which contrasted with how seriously Hera had presented her work to him.
"I did all of this years before. If I'd known that you and Thrawn would be back in this galaxy a couple of months ago, I'd have done a lot more to prepare it, frankly", she answered defensively, before letting out a laugh. "But yes, that is one of the reasons why I'm giving it to you. I made it so that anyone using it could operate independently for at least a year - it's just perfect for the kind of things I imagine you'd be doing from now on", Hera had said with a proud smile, ignoring his joke, as she watched him ogle at the lovingly-upgraded ship.
"She won't be happy with how you gave it a paint-job, though", he said when he finally addressed the bland, light-grey that it had been painted with.
"It's to blend in better with Imperial ships - Sabine's work is beautiful, but the kind of attention it attracts could get you killed. You'll just have to get her back if you want a more colorful paint-job", Hera had answered him with a knowing glance. "I'm assuming, of course, that you'd want to get involved in dealing with Thrawn?"
"You know I do", he answered with a sudden earnestness. "They have something nasty up their sleeves this time, Hera."
"The Mothers...", she said under her breath as they both stood for a moment in silence, pondering the inevitable war that they'd be fighting shortly during the coming months.
"I don't know what to say", he finally said, breaking the silence. He sheepishly put his hand behind his head - just as he did when he was at a loss for words.
"Just take care of it, will you?", his mother answered, giving him a warm hug. "And remember to drop in and dock into the Ghost once in a while, once all of this is over."
"Soon, hopefully", Ezra answered back to his memory, as if it had been happening right before his eyes. "It's finally within reach", he thought to himself.
The war had lasted for a little over a year, and he'd made full use of the Phantom II. Hera and Kallus had been his handlers, sending him on missions just like the old days aboard the Ghost; almost all of them saw him acting on his own, unseen by both the Remnant and the New Republic. After several in a row yielded particularly devastating results for the enemy, he remembered watching General Hera Syndulla getting interviewed on the Holonet to assure the public that what the media called as The Phantom's modus operandi - right after they pieced together a pattern to his missions - were simply coincidences and the work of Imperial Remnant saboteurs keen on distracting from the limited operation being undertaken by the New Republic Task Force to deal with Thrawn.
He couldn't help but let out a mischievous laugh - even after all these years, part of him still harbored that naughty street rat on Lothal - at the sheer ridiculousness of the prospect of him being thought of by the general public as some sort of masked vigilante - "You actually kind of are now, idiot", he thought, which amused him even more. He did agree, though, that keeping his identity - even his existence, for that matter - a secret to all but a rare few was a good call. To most in the galaxy, he was simply a memory, one of the fallen heroes who helped bring about the defeat of the Empire; to the higher-ups in the New Republic Defence Force, he was simply an anonymous agent - or agents; it wasn't even known that he was operating as a single individual - that delivered results when most absolutely needed. He didn't want the knowledge that he was again at large in the galaxy to be known to anyone who didn't need to know - with Hera, Zeb, and Kallus being one of the only exceptions, as well as Senator Organa and her brother for obvious reasons.
Thankfully their fight and eventual victory against the Great Mothers and their acolytes had been largely contained on Dathomir and the surrounding systems, well away from prying eyes. It didn't even register enough in the public consciousness to warrant much more than a few days on Holonet, which means mission accomplished and job well-done for him - considering that things might have escalated to a full-scale civil war. Even if that happened, he'd rather that Luke take center stage, since he thought him to be the one better-suited to being the new, legendary face of the new order. He'd spent the time he fought for the fledgling Rebellion in the shadows, and he wanted it to stay that way. "I'd like to avoid getting any unwanted attention and get drawn into anything serious, just in case something comes up again in the future, thank you very much", he figured when he discussed it with Hera on Home One the day he came back.
As for those three first exceptions, though, he was already beginning to regret the second one, as he stifled a chuckle at the thought; Zeb had taken to addressing him with a "Mister Phantom, Sir" even on the rare occasions when they actually could meet in person. More than once the cheeky Lasat had pretended to not see him to keep to the idea of his joke, with hilarious consequences - he remembered himself being pinned by the hulking beast of a pilot because he chose "the empty seat" during their first get-together on the Ghost after Thrawn's final defeat, to the amusement of Hera, Kallus, and especially Jacen. The teasing was endearingly childish and stupid, just like his brother had always been.
He now turned his focus on the planet below him.
He saw Capital City below; this was the first time he'd gone back to Lothal, nearly two years after returning from his exile. At first, helping save the galaxy from the threat of large-scale war had taken precedence; later, after the war came to a close a little less than a year ago now, he had intended on finally returning. However, building the ring, desperately working on piecing together and decoding the coordinates, and to a lesser extent, dealing with the repercussions that the incident had wreaked upon his psyche had taken up all of that time.
He steered the Phantom II into a nose-dive down into the atmosphere of the planet he once called home.
"One final thing-", he muttered as he eased his grip on the controls upon completing reentry. "Before I take my chance at fate."
PART 1.4. The Lonesome Tower.
A figure clothed all in gray emerged from the grassy plains. He wore short leather boots and a simple tunic made out of a single piece fabric, tightly fit around his arms and neck before flowing down halfway to his knees. Underneath it all was a dark-gray form-fitting Mandalorian bodyglove with light-gray patches of padding that covered him from the middle of his neck, down to his wrists and feet. The only colors on him were a small inverted orange triangle printed on his shirt's neckline as well as green fingerless gloves. Slits that went up to his waist on both sides of the shirt at times revealed, as he moved around, that a small leather belt-pouch as well as a holstered blaster pistol hung on his left, while a lightsaber did so on his right. His hair was cropped short and his face was clean-shaven and expressionless, his blue eyes eyeing his surroundings intently.
He stepped onto the pavement at the base of the old communications tower, outside the outskirts of Capital City. He surveyed the ground beneath his for a few moments, before settling his focus on the scorch marks he happened upon just in front of the door that provided access to the lift up.
Ezra winced. He had just seen a vision of Sabine being stabbed with a lightsaber after he used the Force to get the scorched pavement at the base of the tower to yield its secrets.
"I probably wouldn't have gone so easy on her if I knew what she'd done", he muttered, annoyed at remembering the silver-haired force wielder he had faced down back on Peridea. He surveyed his surroundings and listened intently once more, trying to get back into the stream of blurry images. "So, Ahsoka and Huyang took her back with them", he thought, making a mental note of where his friend had been stabbed.
"I'm going up; stay here with the Phantom", he called out to his C1-10P droid, its black paintwork shimmering amidst the billowing grass. It simply turned around and made its way back to the ship. He sighed, a bit disappointed and feeling a pang of nostalgia. "You look a lot like Chop, but you're definitely not him", he couldn't help but voice out, thinking about how Chopper would have at least acknowledged him with a salute - together with a few expletives - and wondering if he'd rather just damage his droid's circuits on purpose just to see if it would gain a bit more of a personality. He took out the card that he stole from the governor's home earlier that day - "Sorry Ryder", he said under his breath as he looked at it, along with, "And thanks for keeping it locked and off-limits" - then put it in a slot on the wall, the door of the lift opening audibly in response. He entered and alighted at the top of the tower.
There it was : the view he'd so often gazed at during his youth. Today, though, he saw that there were many, many more white spires than he remembered. Lothal was alive, well, and growing. He beamed at the vista before him with pride, feeling that all the sacrifices that everyone did during the war had not been for naught. Pausing that thought, he turned his attention to the door to his left.
Hera had told him everything that had happened, but most especially when it came to Sabine. In between missions to aid in the defence - or rather, limited operation, as the Senate insisted on calling it - of the New Republic, he had visited the ruins of Clan Wren's halls on Krownest, then the newly-retaken world of Mandalore, to see with his own eyes what the end of the war had wreaked on those two planets, and felt the echo of that terrible Night. It was his way of making up for not being there for his friend when she needed him most. "I wish I could have known that something worse was coming", he thought to himself, even though he knew that he couldn't have possibly done - or even chosen - anything else. Hesitating for a few seconds, he opened the doors and passed through the threshold into the dark room.
He was surprised to find that he felt rather than saw first what was inside. The same loneliness that she sent him, that day two years ago when they were parted again - the same longing and heartbreak. He passed his hands over her paintings, now decorating the walls of the place he once called home, remembering what Hera had told him, word for word, about Sabine when she'd finally freed up some time for them to have a deep talk.
The way you disappeared, it broke her.
He winced again. It hurt him to hear those words, even now when it was just a memory to him.
I had no idea at first because she had went about her business as usual, but that alone should have been warning enough to me, to be honest. We would notice that she always left early after debriefings; avoid talking to other people about anything besides work. I thought she'd come out of it, but months passed by and it only became worse.
He remembered himself listening intently to Hera.
You won't believe it, but it was Zeb who told me that I had to have a talk with her - I had never guessed because he always acted like an oaf even when he was promoted to lead his own squadron, but he told me how worried he'd been about her - but things were so hectic leading up to and after Endor that I didn't come around to it until just before we were about to leave for Jakku. I went to Ahsoka's shuttle when I finally had the chance, but she just clammed up. I couldn't get through to her. That's when I realized that she must have been in a bad place the entire time. Then at the end of the war...
"Sabine...", he couldn't help but say under his breath as he gritted his teeth, feeling regret most of all for not being by her side when she saw the shadows on the walls - the very same that he found on Mandalore, while retracing Sabine's steps - taking a moment to remember Ursa, Alrich, and Tristan. He had come here next to try to piece together how the bright light that he always felt inside the Sabine he once knew seemed veiled, shadowed, and chained when they were finally reunited.
All that Ahsoka would tell me was that it would be irresponsible of her if she continued to train her, at the state she was in. To tell you the truth, she had a point, even if I knew it would only make matters worse. Sabine was seeing red the whole time; she was out of control. I had no choice but to suspend her command, so instead of the victory parade at Hosnian Prime, she went straight back to Lothal.
Images of a triangular prism on his hand, glowing red, filled his mind at the memory of Hera's words. Both Hera and Ahsoka had been right to do what they did, just like what had been done to deal with him back then when he'd been in a similar situation - but the difference was that Sabine didn't allow others to help her like how they'd helped him get back to the light. "I wish I'd been there", he thought bitterly, then turned around towards Sabine's murals. "I'm sorry", he said intently to the shadows, as if he expected her to hear him through the vast expanse between them.
You were both too young to understand; you were too young to even be in war. You'd become someone special to her, Ezra, but she didn't quite know how to deal with that, and then you were gone. The way her family and her people had been taken away from her was horrific; then in her mind, her master and I left her too. There's only so much a person can endure.
Through the corner of his eye he spied a trunk under one of the tables. He realized that it had been the thing that was calling to him ever since he entered; he walked over to it gingerly, opened it, and took from it the holodisk he'd left for her all those years ago. He sighed, remembering how he recorded his message to her as if it was only yesterday. "You didn't mean for any of this to happen, but still, what a mess you've made", he said to himself, remembering the words he spoke then. "You were supposed to move on after watching that, you know", he quipped wryly as if she was right in front of him, taking the holodisk in his hand and breaking it in half. The realization, after that talk with Hera, that he'd been the beginning of a downward spiral for Sabine was a bitter pill to swallow, and had taken him some time to process.
He sat on his knees at the very spot where she had steeled her resolve - back then when she decided to finally leave Lothal on her quest to find him - and simply stayed silent for a while, focusing his attention especially on his bed, sensing years of anguish still lingering on it. Moments later, images of her spending countless nights over the years - tossing and turning without a moment of peace - filled his mind. When he'd finished reflecting, he took the still-brightly dyed tresses that she had left on the table in front of him, wrapping it in cloth and placing it carefully inside his chest pocket.
Ezra, please, get out of there!
He remembered the panic in her voice, even through the wrist comm, as she pleaded with him that day when he left. His thoughts then went further forward, during their first night together after she found him with the Noti on Peridea when they were both in each other's arms. He remembered how she had been wrestling with herself as they sat side by side, clasped together - and though he wanted, terribly, to help her, he knew that she had to sort her feelings out on her own. Then he felt the conflict ebb away, her finally giving in and turning towards him. Even now, he felt it, undimmed even after two years and a galaxy apart - the pieces of her broken heart slowly coming together, piece by piece, feeling like the cool spray of rain on parched land, or the comforting heat of a fire in the middle of a cold night.
He felt an overwhelming desire to be with her at that moment, to be there for her forever.
I love you too.
"So, you knew after all, did you?", he asked the shadows once again, amused at wondering how transparent or not he must have been throughout the years. A gentle warmth enveloped him, as he remembered Sabine as she was when they last parted. At that thought, he got up and went outside. "Get the Phantom up here, C1", he said to his wrist comm. "We're going back to Tatooine to pick up the ring", he said expectantly.
AUTHOR'S NOTES - Renamed this one ( you will notice that this has been significantly restructured and added to, but the concept remains the same ); part two of this chapter will come out soon - the "M" rating will be kicking in by then, this is a story about a romance between adults, after all. Nothing explicit though. Thank you for reading!