Disclaimer: All canon characters, places, plots and situations from the Harry Potter Universe belongs to J.K. Rowling. I make no profit from this.

Warnings: Rated M for language, violence and scenes of a sexual nature.

A/N: Today's chapter brought to you late courtesy of South Africa's electricity crisis, wonky wifi, and me – cause I love ya'll. Happy that reviews for the last chapter were so positive, glad you all enjoyed it!

chupeechan Mariverus! I love it. Well, it's definitely better than Sevietta, lol.

moremuseplease I'm actually cringing at the idea of a double-date with Sirius and Severus. I think it'd be like locking two tom-cats in a room together. Not to say it can't happen ;)

SuneID Fanfic Ginny as Hermione's go-to-gal kind of makes sense but I don't think it would be that way, really. They're such different people and they've never had that relationship, and while Mari is a lot like Ginny in some ways, she also has a lot in common with Hermione. Who did you think Mari's secret lover might be? And of course Sirius can make even the Cannons look good!

shealone Is it dorky that I squeed with delight when I saw your review? Hope your house is still in one piece.

gypsyfurface Thanks for your help with the whole labeling thing. I will definitely be earning my lemons though, I think... :D

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WARNINGS FOR THIS CHAPTER:

Please note this chapter may include scenes of a sexual nature, including implied sexual activity as well as highly descriptive language, so if that's not your thing, move along.

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Chapter Ten: Are We?

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"Join me for a drink, Pads," said Remus, glancing briefly at Hermione. Sirius looked from his best mate to Hermione and back. Was Moony being serious? Sirius went to Hermione, standing close to her and blocking Moony's view.

"Alright love?" he murmured, noting her flushed skin and shining eyes. Damn Remus for interrupting this! To his relief, she granted him with a small, private smile as she nodded.

"Late though," she said. "I should probably get to sleep. You go chat with Remus."

Sirius frowned. "You sure?" Hermione nodded before the both of them looked towards Remus, who then turned his face away, coughing politely. Good, thought Sirius. Cock-blocking mongrel. But then she was standing on tip-toe, her soft lips pressed to his cheek. Her breath was warm next to his ear when she said goodnight, and he was relieved when he managed to suppress a moan of frustration.

"Night, Remus," said the witch to his best friend, before leaving. Sirius watched her go, wishing he could have sealed the fragile bubble they'd just created around them with a kiss, a talk, something. Something more sure than a pash on the sofa. He sighed. He was just going to have to accept her response a few minutes before as a positive sign.

"This better be good," he snapped as he turned to his friend, but Remus was already pouring each of them a Firewhiskey in the dimly lit kitchen. "What's this about, Moony? In case you hadn't noticed, that was a bit of a delicate situation back there."

"How long has it been going on?" asked Remus

"What, the kissing? About ten minutes at a guess, I don't know, I wasn't watching the clock you know."

Remus granted him an unwavering look. Moony had always had that way of making sure he got your complete attention when he wanted it, and in that moment Sirius could completely understand how Professor Remus held his classes in check. He scrubbed his face with his hands before crossing his arms, and leaning against the breakfast bar. Something told him he was going to be here for a while.

"Mate, I hate to ask this but someone's got to. What are your intentions with Hermione?" Remus settled onto one of the tall breakfast stools.

Sirius was agog. "Pull the other one Remus, are you seriously playing dad after all the times you've been encouraging me to 'face my feelings?'"

"And what feelings would those be, Pads? Every time I've brought it up you've denied having feelings for her, said it was just physical attraction." Sirius opened his mouth but Remus held up a palm. "It's not that I think you don't have real feelings for her Pads, but if you really didn't, then it was fine as long as you weren't going to act on it. I'm trying to help you out here, I'm sure you wouldn't rather have this talk with Harry, would you?" Sirius grimaced at the thought. His godson was already his boss. He didn't think he could bear getting 'the talk' from him too.

Remus nodded. "So I need to hear it from you. You're my best mate but Hermione is like a sister to the rest of us and she doesn't need any more hurt in her life."

Sirius' heart sank. Moony thought he was bad for Hermione. No, that couldn't be right, Moony had insisted that Sirius and Hermione could be good together. He used his wand to hastily throw up some silencing charms. "What do you want me to say Remus? You know I can't tell you I love her."

"I'm not asking you to," said Remus. Remus knew that for Sirius, love was a loaded word that muddled things. "I still need to know what you feel."

There was nothing like traumatising your cousin with your genitals and your best friend taking the piss with you while simultaneously stopping you from having a rather nice time with a woman you liked, then pulling rank to question you about your intentions for said woman. In for a penny, in for a pound, thought Sirius. Bouncing his leg hard in thought, he came to a decision and with a quick nod, downed the not unsubstantial glass of Firewhiskey Remus had poured for him before chasing it with another large swig straight from the bottle.

"Pads, that's-"

Sirius held up his hand while the whiskey burned its way down his throat, leaving a warmth in his belly. "No, don't interrupt me, you wanted to hear flowery shit Moony, I have to work my way there somehow," explained Sirius, and Moony's mouth snapped shut. There was a silence in the kitchen, the fire crackling low while the flames sent flickers of golden light over their skin. It was a while, and another two swigs of Firewhiskey before Sirius got up the nerve to speak.

"Okay," he said, looking at the fire, the floor, the bottle – anything except Moony's face. "Okay." He was bouncing his leg again.

"Pads-"

"Moony, you were right, I'm crazy about that woman," said Sirius over Remus, jabbing a finger in the general direction of the living room. "She's the exact opposite of anything I've ever cared about in the past. When I make her laugh, I feel like a million Galleons. And if she cries, I'm a fucking mess inside." His voice wavered unbecomingly, but he soldiered on.

Now that he'd opened up, everything that had been brewing for the last few months between him and Hermione came pouring out of him. It was as though a dam wall had crumbled and now that he was talking, he couldn't stop. At that point, he wasn't even sure what was coming out of his mouth.

"Even when I make her spitting angry, Gods, she's beautiful," he said, shaking his head, laughing in disbelief at himself. "She's straight with me. Fucking clever, snarky and soft and she cares for me just as I am." He looked up at Remus. "Moony, when I see her with any of the children, I think…" He faltered. "I think, that maybe I want it, what you and Tonks have, what Harry has. Is that crazy? Me?" Remus shook his head, but Sirius was as much talking to himself now as to his mate.

"She's never tried to make me a better wizard, she's just believed that I can be from the moment she saw me. And now-" He smacked the counter with a fist, in frustration.

Remus, to his credit had not flinched, though he had never heard his friend speak this way before. He'd known that Sirius had feelings for Hermione, just not that they ran this deep, or that Sirius was so conflicted about them.

"Gods Moony, did I just fuck up in there? I swear it's the first time, it just happened. I just-" He swallowed. "I just couldn't hold back anymore. I couldn't. Gods I feel sick. I feel like I just caught the Snitch and like I've just been Avada'd at the same time. It's mental."

Remus chuckled, shaking his head. "I don't think you've messed up Pads. In fact I think you're doing just fine," he said, patting his friend on the shoulder. The werewolf yawned, stretching lazily. "Alright then, I'm off to bed. You should get some sleep too," he said.

"Is that it?" Sirius was confused.

"You told me everything I needed to hear," said the werewolf, with a secretive grin, before leaving the room.
Sirius sat by himself for a while, trying to process the last few hours, from what had happened with Hermione, to Remus' reactions, to his own words – some of which he could not remember – and the Firewhiskey and adrenalin.

Eventually he made his way to bed. From the second-floor landing Hermione's bedroom door called to him like a beacon, and before he knew it he was standing outside the door, his fist raised to knock. He hesitated, and then firmly turned away.

He realised that if he went into her bedroom now, the inevitable would happen, and as much as he wanted that – which was very much – he wanted more to do things differently this life around. This was Hermione. Moony, that sneaky bastard, he realised, had not just wanted to ensure Hermione's well-being but had at the same time stopped Sirius from doing something he'd known the Animagus might regret. If Sirius was going to do this properly, he needed a little time to think.

Hermione spent the day at her desk loaded down with paperwork but with a small, smile coming and going helplessly on her lips as she remembered. She'd barely slept a wink after Sirius had kissed her, but she woke up feeling like she didn't need the sleep. He'd kissed her. Being interrupted by their housemates had been unfortunate, though in retrospect they were lucky it was only them, and not any of the other Order members. Also, she was glad they'd had some time apart to think on what they were doing. She knew that if they hadn't been interrupted, with their track record she would not be thrilling herself with secret smiles all day.

Questions had flitted through her racing mind in the night, turning her stomach.
What were they doing?
Was it just sex to him?
Or did he want more?
Could she do more?
Could he?
Would he regret it in the morning?

The last question had been dealt with first, swiftly put to rest when he was there to capture her mouth in a kiss just as she was leaving her bedroom, showered and ready for the day. She'd been thrown off balance but this time, his hands on her waist and hers clutching his biceps had been remedy enough. His mouth tasted like mint toothpaste and the tickle of his stubble against her fresh skin had been heavenly. He kissed her like he was drowning and she was air, and for the first time in her life Hermione discovered that knees could actually go weak.

"Good morning", he'd said, his eyes soft on hers, glazed with pleasure. "Hi", she'd replied softly. He was here. He wasn't running.

Her mind drifted to the conversation they'd had in the kitchen that morning, just the two of them, well early before their housemates would be awake. She'd made the coffee while he'd scrambled eggs, stealing smiles throughout. And when they'd sat down at the breakfast bar, he'd taken one of her hands in his, rubbing a thumb over the soft skin on the back.

"I know we haven't spoken about this much," he said. "But I've never been in a proper relationship. I'm sure you could have guessed. I thought, for a long time, that it wasn't something I wanted. Hermione, that's changed with you." His stormy eyes on hers, coupled with his words made her breath catch. "Last night was… I only want to take our friendship further if we're both in it for more. This isn't just a physical thing," he reassured her. She tried to speak but he stopped her. "Just let me say this, will you?" His cheeks reddened slightly and her heart clenched even as she suppressed a smile. Sirius Black, vulnerable. "I can't promise you that I'll be the best at this because I've never done it before. I'm reckless and I say and do things I regret but I know I'd regret it more if I didn't tell you that I want to be with you. I want… if that's what you want too."

He'd looked so anxious then, like a school-boy waiting to hear if he was in trouble or not.

"Yes," she said simply, breaking into a wide smile of delight.

He frowned when she said nothing more. "What, is that it? After my whole speech?"

"I said yes, didn't I?" She rolled her eyes. "Yes, Sirius, I would like to try for something more with us."

"I rather think that after my splendid soliloquy that you could at least-"

Her lips silenced him when she leaned it and kissed him sweetly, one palm braced against his chest. She could feel the sure thump of his heart beneath her hand and had to pull away to laugh at the surreality of it. Luckily he'd laughed too, each of their delight infectious to the other, and they both sat there smiling like idiots at each other over breakfast.

By the time the Lupins had trooped down to the stairs to breakfast, the two of them were sitting beside one another, Hermione reading the newspaper while Sirius munched on toast. Although their housemates had seen them the night before, anyone looking at them in that moment would have only seen two close friends having breakfast together. Their silent agreement, simply by each knowing the other, was that for now, this was just between them.

And Mari, of course. She couldn't not tell Mari, and in any case, the moment her blonde friend had stepped into the office and seen her grinning at paperwork, the gig was up. "Lunch," she said. "You, me, and whatever delicious secret's got you looking like you swallowed a tank of Felix."

Hermione looked at her friend and burst out laughing. "You've got sex hair, by the way."

By the end of the week, Hermione was almost at her wits end. There were three things responsible for her current moodiness.

Firstly, she had new leads on her research that she was itching to get out and follow but the sheer amount of paperwork to complete before she did any of it was staggering. And boring. She remembered fondly the years of her youth, when research was something she did, not constantly prepared to do. Instead she had spent the week filling in meters of parchment with 'Aims' and 'Goals' and 'Outcomes'.

Secondly, she was a twenty-five year old woman with a thirty-seven year old boyfriend, and they were not having sex. In any other four-day-old relationship this would be a total non-issue for Hermione, but this wasn't just any relationship, this was them.

She'd just arrived home from work and he pulled her into the library, shutting the door behind them and pushing her up against it, kissing her hungrily. "We've got five minutes," he whispered in between kisses, referring to an Order meeting taking palce at Grimmauld that evening. His body, hard against hers in more than one way, lit a fire inside her she'd been sure she'd never feel again. She threaded her fingers through the soft hair at the nape of his neck, shivering as his lips feathered kisses down her neck to mouth that spot just beneath her ear that made her breath catch. That's when she realised that his hands on her waist were pushing her away, not pulling her in.

"Witch, you're going to be the death of me," he groaned. She was utterly confused and he must have seen in her eyes because he lowered his forehead to rest against her shoulder, breathing in like he could taste her skin that way. "Gods I want you," he said. "I just don't want to rush things. I've never done this before."

Personally Hermione felt that the two of them had danced around one another for long enough that it could in no way be misconstrued as 'rushing', but she'd recognised the vulnerability in his voice.

She'd learned to let Sirius speak in moments like that if she wanted to get more out of him, but she knew his reasons already. He wanted to be sure. He wanted her to be sure. Sex was easy for him, and this wasn't just about sex. She couldn't find fault in his reasoning, but wondered how long they could truly hold out before the fire between them threatened to consume them whole.

She tugged lightly at his hair until he pulled back from her shoulder so they could see one another. "Ok," she said. "We can try."

She'd promised him that they would take things slow, though her respect for his considerate approach to their relationship was quickly being overshadowed by her desire to push him into a dimly lit alcove at the Ministry and have her way with him. She smiled wryly at the irony of getting together with a wizard known for his sexual proclivities, only to be denied that aspect of their relationship.

She'd agreed with him that they wouldn't go anywhere near a bedroom. With that privacy eliminated, and people tramping through the house at any given moment, there hadn't been many opportunities for a good snog, let alone anything else.

And finally, her third problem was currently sitting across the office from her. Baric the Moron, as Mari had christened their fellow Unspeakable, was still trying to get Hermione to forgive him. There had been flowers on her desk every morning that week, and on Wednesday he'd even left a box of Honeydukes finest chocolates, as if she would be stupid enough to touch the thing let alone consume it. That too, had burned spectacularly before she vanished it, leaving a sweet, charcoal-ish scent behind.

"Not the chocolate," Remus had moaned when she told them all at dinner that same evening. Sirius was unusually quiet after they'd disagreed on how best to address the situation. He wanted her to report it – escalate it, as Madam Edgecraft had offered – and she didn't. It was frustrating and ridiculous for her to go complaining to her Head about flowers, especially since Baric had taken his order to neither speak nor approach Hermione very seriously.

"It's rather annoying, " explained Hermione. "But I know what will happen if I take it further." Things had a way of getting out the more people there were involved, and she knew that if her co-worker were to suddenly leave the Department there would be all sorts of ridiculous publicity around the issue. If there's one thing Hermione really wanted, it was to stay out of the papers. The one article, naming them both and calling it a 'lovers spat' was quite enough. "I've been through this before, Sirius, the harder you push back, the more they write about you, and usually more rubbish."

They'd argued about it; she'd told him to stop playing protector and let her handle her own shit, and instead of flying off the handle like she'd expected, he'd dropped it instead. That made her nervous.

Harry, who'd only heard about what had happened at the pub the day after Sirius' graduation, tended to agree more with the Marauders take on it than Hermione's, but the younger wizard knew when to back off and give Hermione her space. After all, Hermione's best friend was no stranger to unwanted publicity.

"Why's he so persistent?" wondered Mari when Hermione and her walked into work together that morning to see the fifth bouquet of the week on her desk. Baric seemed hell bent on getting her forgiveness. "Do you think maybe he really is sorry?"

"It has nothing to do with feeling sorry for what he did, believe me," said Hermione dryly. "At best, he's worried about how this will impact on his social life. At worst, he wants to get back into my good graces to get closer to my friends. I don't know why I didn't see it before. Either way, he's got to give up some time, " said Hermione as she flicked her wand and sent another bouquet up in flames before vanishing it.

A/N: Hope that wasn't too dreary for anyone after the last chapter – there's action on the way soon!