Woohoo! I updated in less than a week. Thanks everyone for your support on this! You all rock! I got over 10,000 views in May for all my stories (over 90% were for this one), which I literally never imagined happening, but it made me ridiculously happy. Plus I got over 20 reviews for chapter 22. I thought passing 20 was just going to be a one time occurrence for chapter 21.
This chapter is pretty important, even though I don't go over some of the stuff I promised to last chapter.
Random fact: I just realized that May 29th, which is the date I posted chapter 22, is Tony Stark's birthday, according to the internet. So if he were real, which he sadly isn't, he would have turned 46. But this story's taking place in 2013, so he's only 43. Also, I forgot to mention this last chapter, but if you've seen Age of Ultron, you can probably guess why Clint was somewhere else for Halloween.
This jumps back in time the tiniest bit so we get Tony's POV from when Jarvis reports what Loki's up to. Also, when the POV shifts, there's sometimes a slight jump back in time for the same reason of getting the other character's POV.
When Jarvis informs him that Loki is standing near the edge of the balcony looking like he's contemplating jumping off, Tony doesn't bother taking the slow route. He flies straight through the window of the floor he and the others are on, not caring at all about it shattering as a result, and heads up towards the penthouse as fast as he can.
The information Jarvis had relayed mere seconds ago had taken him totally by surprise, and it makes an icy feeling of dread form in his stomach on his flight up. What if Loki jumps? Tony tries to fly even faster. He can't be too late. He'll never forgive himself if he is.
Could Loki survive a fall from the penthouse? He'd survived landing on Stark Tower's roof, after all, and he'd fallen hard enough to leave a crater. He's pretty durable, to say the least, and he's probably still wearing his Iron Man suit, so that has to help. But still, it's a long way to fall.
The flight up to the penthouse balcony probably doesn't even take ten seconds, but it feels like an eternity as these thoughts swirl around his head. When Tony reaches the balcony, he's relieved to see that Loki hasn't jumped yet, and Tony's going to make sure he doesn't.
Tony's not at all surprised that he's able to knock Loki down when he hits him with a flying tackle. He's still in the Hulkbuster suit, after all. The two of them land on the balcony, Loki flat on his back and Tony crouching over him, though he's not really putting any weight on Loki. Out of the corner of his eye, Tony sees something tumble off the balcony, but it's not Loki, thankfully.
Almost before they've landed from his airborne tackle, Tony demands to know what the hell Loki thinks he's doing. He stares down furiously at the god. Was he seriously trying to off himself? Tony had never really considered that Loki might be suicidal, but considering what his life in Asgard was like, he supposes he wouldn't be too surprised if Loki had tried to kill himself there. That thought is so horrible, but of course once he thinks it, he can't stop thinking about it and it lingers in his mind even when he tries to get rid of it.
Up until now, Loki's given no indication that he might try to kill himself.
That's what he was doing, right? Why else would he be standing by the edge of the balcony, looking down? Well, Bruce had mentioned that Loki had talked about flying when talking to him on the roof that night Tony broke his leg, but they've already established that Loki can't fly. Still, maybe that's it. Maybe it's not as drastic as it seems.
The one problem with that explanation is that the video Jarvis pulls up in Tony's HUD shows Loki being too panicked and, well, sad for a harmless explanation like trying to fly as he walks onto the balcony. Scratch that, Loki still seems panicked, and Tony can hear him crying. Besides, Jarvis had prefaced telling Tony this information with saying that Loki had told him not to tell Tony. If it was some harmless explanation, why would Loki want to keep it a secret?
Something's clearly up. Something major.
He doesn't know why Loki would try to kill himself now, even if Loki potentially thinking about taking the drastic way out in Asgard has a morbid, horrible logic to it. He could sort of understand Loki doing it there, but here? Loki seems happy most of the time, and his life now has to be a million times better than it was before.
As he stares down at Loki furiously, Tony realizes that the spot he's tackled him isn't near the edge, but Loki had been there before.
Tony is livid. First of all, he won't have anyone committing suicide either in his tower, or by jumping off of it. But more importantly, he's furious about the idea of Loki offing himself. When he first met Loki, he wouldn't have imagined that Loki would become one of his best friends. He'd actually really miss Loki if he left, and if he killed himself, that would be terrible, to put it mildly. Not only would Tony miss him, but it also means he would have failed. Although he's certainly not a therapist by any means, he's been trying to boost Loki's self esteem and help him come to terms with his magic not being bad. But now it almost seems like they really haven't made any progress at all.
Loki still hasn't answered his question about what he was doing. Instead, Tony continues to hear him crying in his Iron Man suit. Said suit is frosted over, and the frost is slowly starting to turn into solid ice. One of Tony's first thoughts is that he really needs to get Loki to see that not-yet-released Disney movie, Frozen.
Wow. What is the world coming to, when Tony Stark's first thought is something about Disney?
Tony then mentally berates himself for not having thought of the problem of Loki's suits icing, considering the god's heritage. Now that he thinks about it, he feels like an idiot for not doing so earlier. He'd fixed the icing problem after the Mark Two suit froze when he first became Iron Man, but he hadn't even thought about adding that feature to Loki's suit. After all, they'd only had one incident with ice before now, and that was just Loki's hand being frosted after a nightmare once.
Oddly enough, the star-covered long coat that Loki's now wearing for some reason remains unaffected. Perhaps Loki's magic made it invulnerable to whatever's happening? Tony suddenly realized that he just thought of Loki's powers as magic as if it were the most natural thought in the world. It's so unscientific, and Tony's still itching to figure out the science behind it. As Pepper so aptly put it, it's probably some science that humans just haven't really dealt with before. Tony's always been a pioneer, though.
Tony's still waiting for an answer, which Loki doesn't seem willing to give. The god's arms are uncharacteristically empty, and Tony realizes the thing that tumbled over the edge of the balcony was Simba.
Great. Just great.
Loki's going to hate him when he finds out Tony accidentally knocked his beloved toy out of his hands when tackling him. Tony really hates the idea of Loki hating him. But there's no way he's chasing down Simba and leaving Loki on the balcony to have another chance to jump off. Not that chasing Simba would do much good, at this point. Unfortunately, Simba's certainly already hit the ground far below.
"Man of Iron! Why did you leave so suddenly through the window? Is there an enemy that needs to be vanquished?" A loud booming voice asks. Of course Thor is eager at the prospect of doing battle. Apparently Thor had followed him out the window on the lower floor, since he can fly with Mjolnir. Wonderful. Thor is literally the last person Tony needs right now.
Loki lets out a violent shudder and a scream, almost certainly triggered by Thor's voice.
"No, there's no enemy." Tony tells Thor, although he supposes with his sudden exit out the window, it might have seemed like there was something the Avengers would need to deal with. In response to the enemy comment, Loki makes a odd sound that Tony's unsure of the meaning of, but it sounds like a combination between a questioning grunt and a snort of disbelief. "Get the heck out of my sight, Point Break!" Tony tells Thor, barely sparing a glance up at the thunder god. However, in that brief glance, he realizes that Thor's holding Simba. Apparently, he'd caught the lion on his flight up here. Which is a little surprising, really.
Loki starts to scramble away, but Tony catches him and reins him in. He'd been heading towards the edge again. "No, not you, Snoopy. When have I ever called you Point Break?" Loki goes immediately, eerily still, and Tony sighs, glancing at Thor again.
"Seriously, Thor, go away. Actually, give me that first." Tony gestures to Simba. At least Loki won't hate him for letting his beloved lion fall to his doom, Tony thinks as he presses the lion into Loki's hands.
Loki immediately clings to Simba. Tony really hadn't wanted Loki to hate him, and Thor had just prevented that from happening. Tony grudgingly admits that to himself, although it doesn't really change anything. Thor's still in big trouble and Tony's still not done with him. Thor just looks at them as the elevator doors opens and Steve and Hulk emerge. Steve has his shield ready and Hulk looks ready to smash. Apparently, it really had seemed like there was something the Avengers needed to deal with.
He looks back and realizes Thor is gone. Thank goodness for small favors.
Tony scoops Loki up in the Hulkbuster's arms and and carries him into the penthouse. Loki's body is rigid, and Tony doesn't think it's solely because of the ice covering his suit.
Steve takes in Loki's frozen suit with an odd expression on his face. Steve probably doesn't actually remember being frozen in ice, since he was in suspended animation, but it's probably not pleasant to think about.
The other two Avengers seem to realize that there's no threat.
Pepper emerges from the elevator and makes a beeline towards them. "What happened? Jarvis wouldn't answer."
"Why the silent treatment, Jarvis?" Tony asks as he gently lays Loki, still in the frozen Iron Man suit, on a soft rug. There's no answer, not even in his helmet. Tony briefly puzzles over Jarvis' silence as he lets the Hulkbuster suit fold down into the huge box and then lets the circular frame that Jarvis controls remove the normal Iron Man suit. Maybe calming Loki down will be more effective without suits involved, Tony thinks as he watches Hulk and Steve chip away at the ice coating Loki's suit, after removing that bizarre coat Loki had made with his magic a while ago.
Jarvis still remains silent, which is odd. On a hunch, Tony says "Un-mute."
"Thank you, sir. I was wondering when I would be able to speak again." Jarvis says, before adding, a tad snarkily. "Do I need to spell out the reason I didn't answer, or can you figure it out by yourself?"
"Considering I programmed those commands-" Tony starts saying, before another thought suddenly strikes him. "Wait a minute, how did Loki know how to mute you?"
"Presumably from when he observed you muting me twenty-four days ago." Jarvis sounds exasperated. Huh. Tony only has a vague recollection of that happening, since it was pretty trivial. He's a little surprised Loki remembered the right command, because only the word mute totally silences Jarvis, and Loki sometimes seems to blank on words because of All-Tongue glitches or something. In a sense, Jarvis had sort of gone against his programming by informing Tony that Loki looked like he was going to jump off the balcony; but then again, Jarvis' loyalty is always to Tony first, and he obviously knew Tony would want to be informed of that sort of thing no matter what. Besides, one of Jarvis' jobs is to protect the tower and those in it, so he wasn't really defecting by informing Tony of Loki's worrisome behavior.
"You might like to know that Thor has left the premises entirely." Jarvis says. Tony is both glad and sorry to hear that. He's not done with Thor yet, and there are still a lot of unanswered questions. Like why the hell Loki was treated as a servant, or a freaking slave, and what Thor meant about telling Heimdall that Loki should be sent to Earth.
For now, Tony shoves those thoughts out of his mind. They need to focus on Loki, he thinks, turning to the god sprawled on the floor in an Iron Man suit, which is still being cleared of ice by Steve and Hulk.
He's wasted enough time already. Right now, nothing else matters.
Since he was going to start running, Loki hasn't been able to move the suit enough to make it walk. He wonders if it's because of the ice or something else. He's also lost Simba, and he'd already been panicking enough before. He has no idea where Simba is, but he'd realized the lion wasn't in his hands sometime after he was sent sprawling on the balcony. Did Simba decide to leave him, not wanting to be his friend anymore? He wouldn't blame him, but Simba says that they'll always be pals.
The holographic screen in his helmet that shows him what's outside the suit disappeared a little bit ago, cutting out Tony's face, and he can't see a whole lot through the eye slits. They're covered with something that just lets light and vague colors through.
He'd seen Tony furious at him before his screen disappeared, though. Tony had angrily asked what the Hel he thought he was doing. Loki wonders if he knows Hel had been with him just a bit earlier, along with his other friends that everyone says aren't real. He'll probably get tormented for that too, along with using his freaky Frost Giant powers. He'll certainly get a beating for using those. Before he even knew about his magic, he knew not to make ice or snow. Only savage Jotuns do that.
He has no idea how he should answer Tony's question. Should he admit he was trying to get away? He's not sure, but it doesn't really matter since his throat feels so tight that he's not even sure if he could speak even if knew what to say.
Just a couple seconds ago, he'd heard Thor ask if an enemy needed to be vanquished, which is terrifying. Surely the blows will start now, especially since Thor's here. He squeezes his eyes shut, waiting in fearful anticipation for the pain to start.
Tony says to go away, and Loki knows his life here is done. He has to move on. He scrambles towards the edge to jump to another building, but is reined in and told it hadn't meant him. He's terrified, but he knows better than to try to get away now that he's been pulled back. Clearly, Tony wants him to stick around, undoubtedly so he can be punished for the countless things he hasn't been punished for yet. Though he would've thought they'd take him out of the Man of Iron suit first. The blows don't come, and Tony says something really strange, about there not being an enemy. But he's the enemy, because he's a Frost Giant. So why aren't they tormenting him? Getting knocked down made sense, and getting a beating would too.
Instead of the blows he expects, something's placed in his hands. He immediately recognizes what- who- it is. Simba! Loki sighs in relief, and a bit of his anxiety goes away. Maybe Simba had just bounced out of his reach when he fell? He's really glad he has Simba, though. He squeezes Simba's right ear. "We'll always be pals, right?"
At least Simba won't turn on him, he realizes. Neither will Hel, Sleipnir, Fenrir or Jormungand. Loki mutters a brief affirmative to Simba's question. "Cool! My dad taught me how to pounce!" Simba replies as he always does. "Did you learn anything today?"
Yeah. He learned that his happy life here is over. Loki doesn't say that out loud, he can't admit it out loud. Thinking it in his head is bad enough.
Right now, someone's picking him up gently, like Tony did earlier today. But Tony's rightfully mad at him- actually, Tony hates him now- so it can't be Tony. Who's picking him up? Hulk? But Hulk's an Avenger too, an ally of Thor, so that would mean Frost Giants are enemies to him, too.
This had been his only chance to get away before they all let their newfound hate for him be known, and he missed it, Loki thinks as he's set down surprisingly gently. He'd half been expecting to be hurled to the ground. Now, he won't be able to think of his friends without remembering their hate directed at him.
He wonders what they're going to do with him. Are they going to kick him out, or are they going to keep him around and vent all their frustrations on him? He's not sure which would be worse. Being forced out would be a lot worse than leaving on his own, but he doesn't want to see them hate him. Though it's not like he has a choice in that now.
What if they decide to kill him? After all, Thor followed him to the penthouse and has convinced all his friends that he's a worthless, freaky monster. Why wouldn't they try to kill him? It's not like he has any use, and Asgard certainly doesn't want him. They'd tried to ditch him in Jotunheim after Frost Giants showed up during Thor's coronation, before Thor got banished to Midgard. What if they try to kill him again?
With that horrific thought, his panic skyrockets, even though he hadn't known he could be more panicked then he already had been.
He doesn't remember ever feeling this panicked in his life, not even when his lips- NO! Can't think about that! He squeezes his eyes shut even further than they already were, vaguely wondering if maybe his eyelids are going to crush his eyeballs with how tight they're squeezed.
Loki's not aware of anything but sheer panic until he feels it- a cold liquid is shooting out, flowing over his legs and drenching the front of his pants. It's pee, he realizes with horror, coming out of his equally cold body. When had his body gotten so cold anyways? He tries to warm up his body a bit.
He hasn't wet himself in ages, and now he's done it, just like a little kid. They already have enough reasons to hate him. They don't need reasons to mock him as well. His face, despite being cold, somehow burns with humiliation at the same time.
He hears the sound of something cracking, and something is brushing against the suit, and he lays still, frightened. He can hear voices outside the suit too.
"Hey, Snoopy. Glad you could join us." Tony says in a much quieter, calmer tone than when he'd asked what he was doing on the balcony.
Loki can see again. The screen's not up, but he can sort of make stuff out through the eye slits. Hulk and Steve step away from him. Tony enters Loki's view and leans over, looking down at him. He's not in his Hulk suit anymore, or even a normal Man of Iron suit.
Loki realizes he's in the penthouse now. It doesn't make sense. If they're going to kick him out, why would they have brought him back in? Well, they can't kick him out if he's already outside, but wouldn't they just not let him back in then? Maybe they really are going to keep him around to torment him. He'll have to try to escape again, but maybe they won't let him. He never managed to escape Asgard, after all.
So they've probably decided to punish him for everything. For all the magic he's done, for now knowing exactly what sort of despicable creature a Frost Giant is.
He's not safe here anymore! Panic flares again and he's unaware of anything.
But then he slowly realizes someone's speaking softly. Tony? Yeah, it's Tony's voice, but Tony speaking to him like that doesn't make sense anymore. "Thor's not here, so you don't have to worry about him." He's using that soothing voice he always uses. It's bizarre, that Tony's even bothering trying to reassure him about Thor when Loki needs to worry about him now, too.
"You're safe." Tony says, which sort of contradicts what Loki just thought. Tony's acting like nothing's changed, but everything's changed. Thor told them all how horrible he is and they all hate him! So why is Tony saying that?
Tony continues to talk as Loki's suit is removed by metal arms that Jarvis controls. Of course Tony wants his suit off of the monster. Or are they taking it off so it'll hurt more when they beat him? Both, probably.
Having it taken off is even worse than when the metal arms were putting it on. He's tugged and pulled and it hurts. He can hear Jarvis apologizing, but why would they care if he's hurt? He deserves it. He doesn't fight it.
Tony tells him something about Pepper walking in on him the first time he was getting armor removed and it not being the worst thing she caught him doing.
"Now, you never answered my question." Tony's voice isn't as gentle now. "What exactly were you doing standing by the edge of the balcony?"
Loki doesn't answer as his arms are tugged painfully again. Neither his gloves nor his boots have been removed yet.
Loki's not sure, but he thinks a shoulder piece of armor might come off with his magic. Yet another thing he's going to be punished for, to add to the mile long list of things that have gone unpunished since he got here. Tony's still talking but he has no idea what the man's saying.
Tony's rambling stops abruptly when the mask on Loki's mask is lifted. Then he speaks again.
"Huh. So this is what you look like in your Smurf form." Tony says, quirking an eyebrow. Loki suddenly realizes that his real form must be showing. There's no point hiding it. They already knew about it, and Thor's undoubtedly convinced them to hate him whether it's showing or not.
Hulk gives a snort and jerks his head back, as if surprised. Tony glances at him. "Hulk, you were great this evening, but I think it's time for you to go now."
Hulk grunts quietly and lumbers off to the side, where he turns back into Bruce.
Bruce is stark naked after transforming this time. He's not wearing the purple or blue shorts he normally has after turning back from Hulk. Instead, the ripped and tattered remains of his Captain America costume pants fall around his feet. Bruce doesn't look at anyone as he gathers them up like a loincloth, and his face is red, like Tinker Bell's when she gets angry. But Bruce turns green when he's angry, not red. So maybe it's something else. Embarrassment? But why would he be embarrassed? Nobody in Asgard tried to hide their body like he's doing, because nakedness is just natural. Bruce slinks away.
Loki shifts his gaze away from Tony's face when Tony leans into his field of vision, not wanting to see his best friend's expression darken with hatred or become a sneer of disgust. He knows he's already lost his best friend. His first friend too- at least his first friend that other people say is real, anyways. Loki tenses, burying his face against Simba as he tries to blink back the tears welling in his eyes. He sits there, waiting for the blows to come, along with the insults that are currently bouncing around in his head. Freak! Savage! Monster! Frost Giant scum!
Hearing them in his own head is bad enough, but Loki doesn't want to hear them come out of his (former) friends' mouths. Fortunately, as of right now, he's granted that small mercy, as they don't start spewing insults. Waiting is almost worse, though.
The armor over the wet patch- evidence of his accident- is pulled off, and Loki's face burns in humiliation. Now they know that he peed himself. He curls up into as tight of a ball as he can manage, even though it feels weird with the wet part of his pants, and starts rocking back and forth. His head still rings with unspoken insults. Imbecile! Idiot!
He's crying again, wike a baby, he finishes in the mock-baby voice Fandral liked to use. He tries to stifle it, but he only cries harder, his body wracked with sobs. Tony's never made fun of him for crying, but maybe he will now. He'll definitely make fun of him for wetting his pants.
Odin, and later Fandral, called him an Argr, too. Loki knows vaguely that that word has something to do with being unmanly. It makes sense, since magic is very womanly (even in movies, all the magic users are female, like Rapunzel, Esmeralda, and Mother Gothel). The first time Sif overheard Fandral calling him that, as well as declaring him a girl, Sif had unleashed her wrath on her fellow warrior. She'd even told Loki he wasn't a girl like Fandral said, but he already knew that. Of course he's not a girl! That was the only time Sif had objected to something someone had called him. She joined in other times.
"Loki," Tony says gently, crouching down next to him. "There's no reason to hide like that." Tony reaches out, and Loki flinches slightly, but Tony just gently wipes the tears away from his face.
"Yeesh, you're chilly." Tony breathes sharply in what seems like shock. "I think you just gave Capsicle a run for his money. You're like touching a Popsicle, or a snowman." Tony pulls his hand away. Only the first part makes any sense, Loki thinks as Tony mumbles something about being surprised it's not like touching dry ice.
Loki furrows his brow. Is his real Frost Giant form showing? It feels like it is, but his body isn't that cold anymore. He's succeeded in warming it up, and Tony's made some comments that make it seem like his Jotun skin is showing, like the one about him being chilly. But Tony's demeanor doesn't match at all, because he's being as nice as always. Loki brings a hand up to check if his skin's blue, but that armor hasn't been removed yet. It's icy. He'd forgotten about the ice. No, ice is bad! Bad, stupid savage Jotun monster!
Squeezing his eyes shut, he runs his armored fingers over his forehead, feeling the telltale ridges there. He's definitely in his real form, and he ducks his head in shame, tensing his body up.
He vaguely hears Tony murmuring soft nothings as he has a reassuring hand on his shoulder. It doesn't make any sense. He knows that they're seeing his real, hideous form. Why aren't they acting accordingly? Why is Tony touching him gently?
Bruce said monster lines aren't real, but what else can the ridges be? He's a monster.
"They're not monster lines, Loki. I told you that monster lines aren't real." Bruce says. He's back, wearing clothes now. Loki ducks his head even more when he realizes he must've said that part about monster lines out loud. "And you aren't a monster, Loki. You don't even look like one, and even if you did it wouldn't matter. I don't care what you've been told. It's wrong." He tells him sternly. Loki frowns in confusion, hesitantly lifting his eyes to meet Bruce's face.
But Thor just convinced them he's a monster and told them about Frost Giants, right? Thor's taken away his friends so he just has ones that nobody else thinks are real. Like how Quasimodo only had gargoyle friends.
"No! No face as hideous as my face," Loki quotes and runs a hand over his disgusting blue skin before wringing his hands wildly. He pauses, unsure, and starts mumbling nonsense. "No face, my face, hideous, no, hideous, no, my face hideous no face..." Quasimodo wasn't really hideous, but he is.
"No face as hideous as my face was ever meant for Heaven's light!" Loki says this loudly, flapping his hands angrily. He's not sure what Heaven is but Quasimodo didn't get its light at first. But unlike him, Quasimodo got it eventually.
"You're not hideous. I think the lines are lovely." Pepper stares at him for a bit and then looks at the ridges on his forehead without a trace of revulsion. Gently, she reaches out and traces a finger along them.
Why isn't she recoiling away in disgust? Touching his blue form is as disgusting as touching poop, and they wouldn't do that.
"May I express what a joy it is to see what you really look like, Mr. Loki?" Jarvis says, and Loki sees the holographic sphere that looks like a moon floating in the air. None of this makes any sense.
"Why...?" Loki murmurs, but he can't go on. He has so many questions. Why are they acting like this? Why aren't they hitting him instead? He's not even sure he wants to know the answers to them.
They really must be mind-readers, Loki thinks as Pepper answers his mostly unspoken question. "Why are we still treating you well? Because there's no reason not to, just because you look different."
"You know," Tony says, "This is actually kind of a letdown."
Oh. Here it comes. "With all the drama, I was expecting something a bit more alien-y than this. Maybe something awesome like horns or antennae or a tail, or maybe you'd change sizes like Hulk." So Tony really doesn't like his appearance. It makes sense, Loki thinks, and things start to line up in a logical way, even if he hates the logic. "But you look more like us humans than those Avatar aliens. Actually, you really look more like us than Hulk does."
Sending a quick glance at Bruce, Tony holds his hands up with his palms out again. "No offense intended, Brucey. I meant that in the best way."
Bruce sighs and gives Tony an unamused look before turning to Loki. "I don't know what you're complaining about, Loki. I'd much rather turn into that than... you know." Bruce waves his hands at his body vaguely.
Bruce must have lost his mind. Who would want to be a Frost Giant instead of the Hulk?
Loki's world is tipped upside down again and jumbled into a confusing mess of nonsense when Tony starts speaking again. "Don't get me wrong, Snoopy. You look great. I have to say, blue really suits you. The red eyes are pretty awesome too, although I thought your eyes were always green."
Loki blinks in confusion. This isn't how they're supposed to react. They're supposed to hate him and make his life miserable. It's weird enough that they don't seem to have anything against his magic (or didn't have anything against it. They probably do now). He never imagined in his wildest dreams that someone would say his real form isn't ugly, and they're all saying it looks good. They don't think touching it is disgusting.
Tony's acting like this is no different than when he changes Toy Stark, and he likes it when that happens for some bizarre reason. Actually, Tony's acting like this is better than when he changes Toy Stark.
Loki stares at them in awe.
This can't be real, can it? It's impossible. The only ones who didn't hate his real appearance are either monster friends he made up, Simba, or Heimdall, a man who sees everything and has seen so many ugly Jotun monsters that they don't seem to affect him anymore.
But it's happening, right? Isn't it real? Loki frowns as he puzzles over this.
Slowly, Loki manages to force his true form back down, running his fingers over his forehead again to make sure there are no ridges. He sighs in relief, since he's always more comfortable in his non-blue form. But they've seen it, and they were acting like it was nothing. Maybe, to them, it is?
"You don't need to hide your true self, Snoopy." Tony says, as the metal arms remove the boots and gloves of his suit. Thankfully, they're not blue.
No, this can't be real, a voice that sounds a lot like Hel says in the back of Loki's head. There's no way anyone would ever say that to him. More than anything in the Nine Realms, he wishes it were real, but it can't be. He laughs at the absurdity of it, even though he wants to cry at the same time.
An image of that servant boy pops up in his mind. That boy had just been pretending to like him and now his friends are just pretending, and any second now they're going to make fun of him for falling for it, for thinking someone would really like him despite knowing he's a monster.
He almost fell for it again. He's an idiot.
Idiot! Pathetic, hopeless piece of garbage! Why would the Avengers or Pepper be nice to him now, when even slaves called him things like that in Asgard? Slaves were basically the bottom rung of the social ladder, except perhaps for him. Loki's worked out that the Avengers are a big deal here on Midgard, so why would they look at him with anything but contempt and hatred now that they've seen his disgusting skin? Retard, as that boy at the clothes store had called him on his first morning here. He's still not sure what that means, aside from 'slow', but Tony had gotten mad at that boy for insulting him. He probably wouldn't do that now, though, since now he knows those taunts are right.
Even here on Midgard, people will call him names. He's still a freak here, still a monster. Why did he ever believe it would be different?
It had been different though. Even earlier today, before the thunder, they seemed to genuinely like him. But now they've heard everything from Thor. Why hadn't they known all that stuff before? They've known Thor for a while, so why didn't he tell them that stuff earlier? Why did they ever like him in the first place?
Loki paces back and forth, angrily flapping his hands and wringing them together violently, twisting his fingers in ways they normally don't bend as he hugs Simba tightly to his chest. "Stop!" He shouts. "Stop saying that stuff! You hate me!" He jumps up and down, stomping his feet and screaming wildly.
"No, Loki, we don't hate you!" Tony says sternly, almost intimidatingly. Loki flinches at the tone.
He can't detect any sign that Tony's lying, but he hadn't thought the servant boy was lying either. The servant boy had said he didn't hate him, but he'd planned the whole thing with the Warriors Three. What if Tony and the others planned this with Thor when he left the floor they were on earlier?
The memory rises up again, unwanted. "Come here. I'm not going to hit you... I like your magic... Want to be friends?"
"I knew he'd fall for it. HE'S AN IDIOT! HIS BRAIN'S MESSED UP... NOBODY'S EVER GOING TO LIKE YOU. I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU THOUGHT HE DID!"
Loki doesn't know how long it takes, but eventually he's no longer lost in the mem- the flashback. He must have fallen down, since he's now lying on the floor. Everyone is staring at him with unreadable expressions, and he's terrified.
It's deathly silent, so silent that it's somehow deafening at the same time, because he can hear his heart pounding in his ears. It dawns on Loki that he just said all of that out loud. Why does his mouth keep blurting stuff?
They're going to drop the act now, right? When they hadn't known he was a monster, they might have liked him, but they certainly don't now.
The silence is soon broken by Tony's furious voice, a voice that promises danger. "I don't know who told you that, but if I ever run into them, I am going to shove a missile so far up their butt it will knock out their teeth!" Tony's hands are balled into fists. Loki can't help backing away. "It wasn't Thor, was it?!"
Loki frowns in confusion as the words register in his brain. Well, except for missile... Miss Ill? He wonders who she is, and why she's ill. Maybe it's because she got shoved up someone's butt? He grimaces at the thought. That sounds disgusting, and you'd probably get sick because of it.
At least that's one thing that never happened to him. He never got shoved up a butt. It would have to be a huge butt though, for someone to fit in it. What if they decide to shove him up a butt for being a freak?! If Hulk comes out again, are they going to shove him up Hulk's butt?
"Could I fit inside Hulk's butt? Is it big enough?" Loki clamps a hand over his mouth when he realized he asked that aloud. He's getting some really weird looks right now, especially from Steve. He backs up a couple more steps, eyes wide.
He knows he just said something wrong. Even he know it's rude to ask about someone's butt size. Particularly women's butts, for some reason- he hasn't worked that out why it's worse to ask about women yet- but Hulk's male, so he didn't mess up that at least.
Tony is smirking with a raised eyebrow. "I had no idea you were that kinky, Snoopy, and-" Pepper whacks Tony on the head and he actually stops talking, rubbing the spot where Pepper hit him.
Loki vaguely wonders what kinky means. He'll have to ask Jarvis later, and maybe ask how to spell it too, he finds himself thinking, before remembering that things aren't like they are before.
After that thought, most of his mind is wondering and worrying about how long it will be before Pepper hits him.
"They should have never told you that." Bruce says quietly, going back to the main topic. He has his eyes closed and he's taking deep breaths. He does that a lot, Loki thinks as Bruce leaves the room.
"I D'SERVE IT!" Loki shrieks at the top of his lungs. Why don't they get it?! He thought Tony and Bruce were supposed to be super smart.
They're saying all the things he wants to hear from somebody besides Hel and the others, but they can't really mean it.
It's cruel, because it's really, really hard not to get his hopes up again, like he started to before Thor came. But they're going to tear those hopes away like the servant boy. It's like building a block tower, like that game he played the day he met Bruce, and then pulling out one of the bottom ones and watching the whole thing collapse.
"No! You don't deserve any of the torture they put you through. They had no right to tell you something like that." Tony protests.
It's too nice, and Thor told them otherwise. They know he's an enemy and people aren't nice to their enemies. But Tony had told Thor there wasn't an enemy, but he's their enemy. Everything is so contradictory, and mixed messages jostle each other around.
"Loki-"
No! He's not going to let them trick him like that servant boy! They're going to tell him they're joking and they really hate him, and they're going to beat him. He wonders why Bruce left, and then he wonders why Hulk hasn't come out again, because he seems better at beating people up than Bruce.
"STOP IT! I'M A MONSTER! MONSTER'S DON'T DESERVE FRIENDS!" Loki screams furiously. A blast of magical wind shoots outwards and he hears something shatter, but he barely registers it.
"We've gone over this a million times, Loki! You. Are. Not. A. Monster!" Tony yells back at him.
Loki backs up until he runs into a wall. There's no way to get to a table right now, since there are three people he'd have to get past. There's nowhere to hide. He's outnumbered, like he always is.
Without a doubt, this is when the beating is going to start. He just yelled at them, and he always gets punished for that. Not to mention, he just did magic.
He hasn't been beaten since he got here, which is really weird. It's probably going to hurt more now that he's had a break from it, now that he almost got used to not being beaten.
The fact that his friends are going to be the ones beating him just makes it a million times worse, especially since Tony said he wouldn't hit him. But that was before. Loki closes his eyes and waits miserably. Why couldn't Tony have been a minute later flying up to the balcony? One more minute, and he would have been able to slip away...
"I-I'm sorry!" He chokes out in a quavering voice. He sinks down onto the floor and huddles into a ball. "S-sorry! Don't hit. Please..."
"Crap..." Tony mutters. "Snoopy, I didn't mean to shout. I'm not angry at you. Hey, look at me." Tony says softly. It's so confusing because he just was really angry. He has to be faking this calmness. "You have nothing to apologize for, you hear me? Nothing. The only people who need to apologize are all those jerks in Asgard who hurt you. And you do deserve friends. You have them, too. Us."
Loki cocks his head to the side. This is too contradictory. It contradicts everything he knows.
Tony lets out a long sigh and slowly approaches him, but Loki shies away. Pepper pulls back on Tony's arm and Tony stops his approach, holding up his hands with his palms out again. Confused, Loki copies the gesture, which gets him a strange look. "Loki, I swear I'm not going to hit you. We pinky-promised, remember? You can't break a pinky-promise, so that still stands. I'm not going to hit you now, and I'm not going to hit you later. Just like how I don't hit Dum-E."
Tony sticks out his pinky but Loki doesn't move.
"What is it, Snoopy? It's like we're back on square one. I thought you knew that I'm not going to hit you. We went over this in your room."
"You're like THEM now!" Why are they acting like friends still?
Monsters don't deserve friends, so he's never going to have friends, once people find out what he really is. Quasimodo put it really well. He sings one of the hunchback's songs to himself he rocks back and forth, gazing down at Simba and feeling like he's going to start crying again.
"I knew I'd never know,
That warm and loving glow,
Though I might wish with all my might.
No face as hideous as my face,
Was ever meant for Heaven's light."
"Hideous hideous hideous HIDEOUS!" It's not Thor that ruined everything, Loki realizes. It's him, because he's a can never have friends, unless they're friends that nobody else thinks are real, like Sleipnir.
Nobody thought Quasimodo's gargoyle friends were real, and Quasimodo thought he was a monster. But Quasimodo wasn't a monster, and he is. They said it didn't matter what Quasimodo looked like, but he's not Quasimodo. He's a Frost Giant.
"We're not like them." Steve says.
"Yes you are. You don't mean any of it." Loki mutters. Why won't they admit that Thor convinced them to hate him, to trick him into thinking they don't? "You're faking."
"We're not faking about liking you, Snoopy. You deserve friends, and you have them. Us." Tony tells him firmly. "Trust me, if I didn't like you, you'd know. There's no way I could pretend to like someone for a minute, let alone almost a whole month. I still like you, no matter what you were told there."
The others are nodding in agreement with Tony, looking amused. They're trying to pull a joke on him, but it's not funny!
"Stop laughing! I'm not falling for it!" Loki stares at them angrily.
"Mr. Loki, there is nothing for you to fall for. They are not amused because they are deceiving you, they are amused because what Mr. Stark just said is entirely true." Jarvis speaks up for the first time in a while.
"I've been told I don't play well with others." Tony smirks.
Jarvis continues. "Your wish from before you went on the balcony is still true, Mr. Loki. I believe I can speak for all of us in saying that none of us hate you. I'm quite fond of you, actually."
"That's what this is all about, isn't it? You think we're faking being nice, that we don't like you anymore." Pepper states gently in an understanding voice. Loki stares at her, waiting for her to tell him that's right.
She doesn't.
"You got faked out before." Tony says, looking at him with something almost like pity. "That stuff you said had to be someone else, someone who betrayed you. You thought they were a friend, but they weren't, and they hurt you." There's something weird in his voice that Loki can't place, like Tony's talking about something else at the same time.
Not friends. Never friends. Never liked him, just hurt him, just wanted to hurt! HURT! He can't have friends, doesn't deserve friends, why would anybody want to be friends with someone like him?!
Loki doesn't even notice he's running until he crashes right into Steve. Without thinking, he grabs Steve's shield and hurls it across the room, screaming at the top of his lungs. He falls to the floor, still screaming, and writhes around on the ground. He's not their friend anymore, certainly they agree.
Oddly enough, Steve's foot doesn't connect with his ribs or his head. It doesn't make sense. All he does is go and get his shield from the other side of the room, not even seeming mad that he'd hurled it there.
Tony crouches next to him. "Loki, we're not like that! We're not going to turn on you."
But they already have, right? They're not acting like it, though. But they're just pretending! They're really like that servant!
It hurt enough when that servant betrayed him, but it will hurt a thousand times more when his friends betray him.
Loki notices that Bruce is once again back, but he hadn't noticed him return.
"That was what caused the whole thing in your room while we were eating pizza after your first therapy session." Tony says slowly as if he's just realized some cosmic secret. Loki very cautiously nods. What's going on?
"That's why you were on the balcony. By the way, if you ever think of trying to off yourself, don't mute Jarvis first." Tony blurts out, but he's dead serious now. There's a rather long silence.
Jarvis told them? But he told Jarvis not to tell them he was running away! Then again, why would Jarvis listen to him now?
"I am sorry I had to betray your confidentiality, Mr. Loki, but I could not let you jump." Jarvis says, actually sounding sorry.
"You were contemplating suicide?!" Bruce sounds shocked, angry, sad and disappointed all at the same time, as well as some other things Loki can't identify. The others are giving Bruce looks like the ones they sometimes give him, like there's something horribly tragic going on.
"Su... Su-i-side?"
"It means killing yourself." Pepper says quietly, before saying in a choked, horrified voice "Oh my god, Loki! You were trying to kill yourself...?"
What?!
He wasn't trying to kill himself! He was trying to run away in case Thor wanted to kill him, in case they wanted to kill him! If he was trying to kill himself, he wouldn't have been trying to get away! Why would he try to kill himself?! Trying to kill yourself to avoid getting killed is like jumping in a pond to avoid getting wet!
That idea is completely ridiculous, Loki thinks, laughing.
He doesn't want to die.
"Suicide is no laughing matter." Steve says sternly. Loki stops and casts a worried look at him. He still doesn't know what to think of Steve. Bruce said he was nice, but then tonight happened. Loki hadn't even been totally sure what to think before Thor came, because Steve's a warrior, right? He looks like one, except for the clothes and hair. And Loki's pretty sure he's actually a warrior, too.
"I wasn't!" Loki declares, clutching Simba tightly and bouncing anxiously. "I wasn't gonna su-cide. Wasn't gonna kill myself!"
"Oh really? Then what were you doing looking like you were going to jump off a balcony?" Tony demands angrily. "You know you can't fly."
Of course he can't fly! He doesn't have wings or a Man of Iron suit or Pixie Dust. Well, he has a Man of Iron suit, but that one doesn't fly because it doesn't have fire coming out of the hands and feet like Tony's suits do. No, he had a Man of Iron suit, he corrects himself. Tony's not going to let a monster in his suits ever again, even though that one was designed for him.
"You know what would've happened, don't you?" Pepper asks.
Tony answers before he even gets a chance. "You would have fallen all the way down to the ground, and I don't think even you would survive a fall from a tower!"
"Like Mother Gothel?" Loki asks quietly. She didn't really age much, same as him, but she still died falling from a tower. Or was it because she got really old all of a sudden when Rapunzel's hair was cut? Would that happen to an Asgardian without Idunn's Apples?
Mother Gothel isn't the only one who fell. "Frollo fell into fire."
Tony gives a long sigh and says "Yeah, like them. That would have happened to you."
"We'd miss you if you left." Pepper tells him.
"You would?!" Nobody's ever said that to him before, not even as a prank. The Asgardians were glad to get rid of him. Although maybe they miss beating him up?
"Hell, yeah. If you killed yourself, that would be horrible." Tony says, putting a hand on his shoulder, muttering something about that being an understatement.
"I wasn't gonna kill myself." Loki mumbles. "We were jumping."
"You just said you weren't jumping! And what do you mean, we?!"
"Me an' Simba an' Sleipnir an'..." Loki cuts himself off. He hadn't meant to mention Sleipnir. Quickly, he tries to say something else to cover it up. "We were jumping to the other building."
Bruce asks the next question. "You weren't jumping down?"
Loki wordlessly shakes his head no.
"So, why were you jumping to another building?" Steve asks.
"Getting away. Somewhere safe. Safe! Need'ta be safe!" He paces back and forth anxiously.
"You know you're safe here, right?" Tony asks imploringly, looking at him intently. Loki looks down at the floor, walking around in small circles. No, he doesn't. Not anymore.
"Loki, you are safe here. Thor didn't hurt you today, did he?"
Well, no, he didn't- he hasn't since being banished to Midgard- but he will sometime. They will too.
Suddenly, Tony gives him a very serious look. "What's going on, Loki? I don't think we're getting the full story about what happened on the balcony. Or in general. It's like we're back at square one. I thought we were making progress, and now..." He trails off, and Loki tilts his head to the side, confused.
"There's got to be some sort of misunderstanding. Nothing's different than it was earlier today."
Loki doesn't know what to say, but it's clear from Tony's expression that silence isn't an option. After half a minute, he opens his mouth. "But you saw- You know- He said-" Loki doesn't know where to start and he trails off after each attempt.
Tony looks as if he's just found the last piece to a puzzle. Somehow they seem to understand from that. They really must be mind readers. But if they're mind readers, why do they even need to ask?
"You really need to see this, Mr. Loki." Jarvis says. The holographic video of whatever happened with Thor after Loki fled to the penthouse once again appears in thin air.
Loki freezes. He doesn't want to watch Thor telling them that stuff, but the video starts playing anyways. "I was trying to show you this earlier, but you wouldn't let me. I wish you had, because I think we could have avoided all of this." Jarvis explains.
Loki goes to cover his ears but stops when he registers the words that the Tony on the screen is speaking.
"I don't give a crap that he's a Jotun, because it doesn't matter at all if he looks like an Avatar alien."
Wait, what? Loki stares at the holographic screen and glances at the real Tony, who's giving him smirk that's almost a real smile. But it's not a mean smirk. It's the one he always gives.
"The Aesir and the Jotnar have long been enemies." Thor is saying. "Frost Giants are-"
They know he's an enemy. He's their enemy, they hate him! Thor's their ally, and enemies of allies are enemies! What Tony just said seconds earlier doesn't apply!
But Pepper cuts Thor off. "Don't even think about finishing that sentence, because it's probably something racist again."
Steve jumps into the conversation with Thor. "You can't just write off a whole group of people with stereotypes. Haven't you guys learned that racism is wrong?"
Loki frowns. Tony had said under the table after Avatar that racism is bad, and that he thinks racist people are stupid. He said hating the Avatar guy was wrong, and now they're saying Thor's racist, to his face. But hating Frost Giants isn't wrong.
Steve seems to want to say something else, but Tony quickly inserts himself in. "I thought you used to think we humans were insignificant mortals, and you clearly changed that view, since your girlfriend is human."
Steve's speaking again. "So whatever you were about to say, which was probably something racist, have you every considered that might be wrong too?" The super-soldier stares accusingly at Thor.
Loki stares in shock. What is this? Wasn't Thor telling them all what a monster he is?! They're not even really letting him get a word in. He stares in amazement at the real people surrounding him.
They think Thor's wrong. He's not, of course, but they seem absolutely positive that he is. Just like they've always told him, before Thor came, that Asgard was wrong.
Pepper fixes Thor with a death glare, and Thor looks somewhat cowed. "You bullied him relentlessly for naturally being a different race, which is something he can't control at all. You taught him to hate his true form."
She sounds angry about it, but it's just a fact. Besides, he can control it. That's why his ugly skin is hidden right now.
"Okay, so here's what I don't get." Tony says, before Thor can respond. "You taught him to hate his naturally blue skin, which doesn't even seem that strange. I mean, this is basically what he looks like, right?"
Loki watches the Tony in the video show Thor a holographic image of an alien from Avatar. Thor obviously doesn't like looking at it, and he says something about Frost Giants he's killed being bigger.
Thor kills Frost Giants. He's going to kill him, right? But he's not here.
As if reading his mind, Tony says "Hey, I said I'd do everything to keep Thor from hurting you. We even beat him up while you were there, so why did you think we'd suddenly change?"
Loki doesn't know what to say.
"When he saw this, he seemed to think the guy deserved to be beaten just for looking like that." Tony says about the Avatar guy.
"He doesn't deserve that, by the way. We went over that, remember?" The real Tony says. Loki doesn't respond. His mind is reeling with all of this. He just thought he made sense of everything and now it's all being turned upside-down again.
Tony and the others all said Asgard was wrong, but once Thor showed up, Loki thought they'd change that opinion. Nobody's ever confronted an Asgardian about what they did to him, because he deserves it. Because they were right about him.
But Tony still said Asgard was wrong, even when Thor showed up. They even said it to Thor's face. Nobody tells Thor he's wrong (especially when he's not, like now). But they just did.
"Yet, I know Loki can change his appearance, and I know you guys tormented him for using magic or whatever the hell it is. So what did you do? Make him change his appearance when it was convenient for you and then beat him up the rest of the time?"
Loki finds himself nodding.
"Changing colors not bad!" Hulk glares at Thor and punches the floor.
Bruce changes colors too, just like him, Loki thinks. He notices Bruce glance at him right now, but he still has the surprised look he was giving the screen.
This is what like what they said about Quasimodo and Esmeralda, and they said it to Thor. This is so far from what he expected, from what makes sense.
If they said that stuff to Thor, that would mean they're not faking their kindness now. That somehow, despite seeing his real, ugly form, they still find it in them to show him the kindness they always have. The idea is so bizarre, so strange. So nice.
"See? We're not faking." Tony says decisively.
Loki frowns. Maybe they're really not faking. Maybe he was wrong about them hating him. That video he just saw makes it seem like he was wrong. If he really is wrong about them hating him, that would be the best thing ever!
"Did you think we'd hate you just because Thor showed up?!" Pepper asks incredulously.
Loki doesn't reply, but he can see they get that he had thought that.
Tony gives him a look and says "Thor didn't change anything. I like you just as much as before. Maybe more."
Loki doesn't know whether to believe it. He wants to believe that, he really wants it to be true. More than anything.
"Loki, you can trust us." Pepper says gently. "When have we ever done anything to hurt you?"
Loki cocks his head to the side. Never, really. Even now, after Thor. But people never like him after they find out what he is, except for Simba and his invisible friends and sort of Heimdall. But they didn't even hurt him when he threw the Captain America shield across the room.
"Hey, Snoopy, I'm not really the best person to talk about trusting people, but I swear you can trust us. I pinky-promise, cross my heart, all that stuff. We don't hate you. Remember what I said? Unless you go on a murdering spree or something, I won't hate you and I won't hurt you. I can't picture you doing that, ever, so we're good." Tony grins at him.
Tony pauses and asks "Seriously, why would I judge you at all, when I'm friends with Hulk?" Tony asks. Loki blinks, and Bruce looks very surprised.
"You are?" Bruce asks, as if not daring to believe it.
Tony gives Bruce a smirk. "What can I say? He's grown on me. He can't just be Loki's friend. After all, who doesn't want a big green rage machine with breathtaking anger-management issues as a friend?" Tony's smirk grows, and he adds "Besides, I've heard he gives amazing hugs."
Bruce stares at Tony, who tells him "By the way, don't you dare say he's a monster."
Shocked, Bruce glances between Pepper and Steve, who exchange a glance with Tony and nod at Bruce, like they're agreeing.
Bruce then turns to Loki. "I know you are." He says, smiling slightly. Then, glancing down at his feet, he mumbles "Thank you."
Loki smiles slightly at him. He likes Hulk, and Hulk didn't turn on him, it seems.
"Same goes for you, Snoopy." Tony looks at him pointedly.
"You really still like me?" Loki asks in disbelief. They've been saying it this whole time, but it's so hard to wrap his head around it. He thought they were lying.
"Why wouldn't I?"
Loki doesn't answer, but he knows why. The reasons are obvious. They have to know, too.
"Loki, look at me." Tony puts a hand on his shoulder without a hint of revulsion or disgust, even though he'd seen what he is. But then again, they'd touched him without any sense of disgust while he was in his hideous blue skin. "Thor didn't change anything. We're not faking you out. I don't think you're a monster in any way, just like Quasimodo's not a monster.
Loki tries to stop it, but his heart is starting to expand with hope again. Do they really still mean all the nice things they've said to him, and everything they've said about how you shouldn't hate people like Quasimodo or Esmeralda? Or him?
His gaze shifts to Simba. Should he believe this?
"You... you really think it means me, too?" Loki asks in a hushed whisper, rather like when Bruce had just asked about Tony being friends with the Hulk. Thor didn't turn them against him behind his back. This video shows him trying to, but they told Thor he was wrong...
"Think what means you?"
"The..." Loki pauses, unsure of how to describe it. "The... Quasiralda rule!" He claps his hands, liking the name he came up with.
"The what?" Steve asks.
"The Quasiralda rule!" Loki says again and pauses. "It means... you shouldn't hate people 'cause they're ugly monsters like Quasimodo. But Quasi's not even a monster! And you shouldn't hate people 'cause they're a gypsy like Esmeralda, 'cause Frollo was wrong about gypsies. They're not all evil!"
"Or you shouldn't hate someone because they're a Jotun, like you." Tony adds.
Loki frowns. It's not the same! Tony once again seems to read his thoughts.
"Loki, the whole reason I showed you that movie was to try to help you understand that stuff applies to you, just like it applies to Quasimodo and Esmeralda. So, yes, the Quasiralda rule applies to you. You shouldn't hate someone because they have blue skin or ice, and you shouldn't hate someone because they do magic."
But he's-
Tony gives him a look and says "Don't even think it, Snoopy."
"Do we need to go over this all again?" Tony quirks an eyebrow. "That movie applies to you. So does Aladdin. We didn't hate Genie either, remember? He has blue skin and magic, and he's awesome. Just like you."
Loki feels his eyes going wide. Tony just said he's awesome, and he doesn't seem to be teasing.
Tony goes on. "So let's see. I don't have anything against Hulk, or the aliens in Avatar, or Genie, or Quasimodo..." He ticks them off on his fingers. "So why on Earth were you so worried about what I'd think of you? Especially after I saw you in your alien form and didn't react badly at all. At least, I don't think I did. Don't say it's because you deserve to be hated, because you don't deserve it any more than any of them do. Which is to say you don't deserve it at all."
Loki stares at him with wide eyes. Once again, his world is being rearranged. Can this really be happening? Can he really be wrong about them hating him? Can they actually like him, despite seeing his real form?
"Hey, remember how in Monsters Inc, everyone thought Boo was a monster?" Tony asks suddenly. "That's ridiculous, right, because she's like a two-year-old kid. She's the furthest thing from a monster, and they were all acting like she was Godzilla or something."
Loki has no clue what a Godzilla is, but he nods hesitantly.
"Well, that's what Asgard was like. They think you're a monster, but you're not. Try this- imagine you're Boo, and everyone in Asgard is that weird purple lizard guy."
Loki giggles at the description and supplies the name. "Randall!" He scrunches his nose. He didn't like Randall much.
"Right, Randall. Ok, Asgard is Randall. You're Boo, because they see a monster when there isn't one."
Loki cocks his head to the side. No matter what Tony says, he's still a monster, right? "Boo was scared of Randall. And Randall thought Boo was dangerous, and he put her in the scream 'xtractor and she was really, really scared!"
"But Boo beats Randall in the end." Pepper says quietly. Loki looks at her, surprised. He didn't even know Pepper knew about Boo!
"She hit him!" Loki flaps his hands. "With a big wood thing and he changed his looks!"
He frowns, having forgotten about that. Randal's bad, and he changes his looks. Just like him.
"I do bad freaky things like Randall!" Loki blurts.
Bruce gives him a stern look. "He's not bad because he can turn invisible or put a pattern on his skin. He's bad because he wants to kidnap Boo." Bruce says. Loki wonders how they all know about Boo. Actually, Steve looks kind of confused.
"Asgard is also Frollo. You're Quasimodo, and Esmeralda." Pepper says. "The Quasiralda rule applies to you."
"The Quasiralda-Loki rule!" Loki wriggles his body, laughing at the name.
They really mean this! "I'm Genie?" Loki mumbles, very hesitantly.
Tony just grins at him. "You've got it. What's Asgard's role in Aladdin?"
Jafar? He wonders, biting his lip. No. The lamp! The lamp Genie was stuck in, and Aladdin freed him! He doesn't say it out loud.
"Guess who you are from The Lion King." Bruce says, glancing pointedly at who's in Loki's arms.
"Simba!" Loki squeals, giggling and hugging Simba tightly. He hops up and down excitedly.
"I hear you're both princes, too." Pepper says, smiling.
Loki realizes he's happy again.
This is way too good to be true.
They're not faking or lying, but it can't be true.
Maybe the whole day is some weird, wonderful, impossible dream, and he'll wake up in his bed in his room here. If he wakes up, Thor won't have come. But if this is a dream, this whole conversation about everything they've told him being real, no matter what Thor says, the whole part about them looking at his Jotun skin and not hating it... none of that would be real either.
This feels so nice, though, and he doesn't want to wake up and find out it's all fake, even if it means Thor wouldn't have come. Even though this situation is insane, it's what he's wanted his whole life, to have people who really like him even though he's a monster and a freak. But that's way too much to ask for.
Loki wrings his hands together anxiously, rocking back and forth as he stares into Tony's eyes. Tony doesn't break the eye contact.
If it's a dream, he wants to sleep forever. But he can't.
He starts to cry again. This had seemed so... real. But now his hope is torn cruelly away from him again.
The Norns must really hate him, like everyone else, to keep bringing his hopes up only to send them crashing down again.
Abruptly, angrily, Loki slaps himself across the face with an annoyed scream. He's stupid, he fell for it again, nobody will ever like him. It's just a dream!
Instead of waking up, he feels a stinging pain on his cheek. He blinks.
Pain means it's not a dream.
It's not a dream? Loki slaps himself again. Pain.
Not a dream!
"Loki don't hit yourself!" Tony grabs his wrist, but Loki jerks it out of his grip.
"Say them again! Say the nice things again!" Loki practically shouts as he flaps his hands wildly, happily. This crazy, wonderful, impossible situation is real! They've seen him at his worst, they've seen his real skin, and his magic, and despite everything, they still like him! Thor's visit didn't change that! They still say the opposite of everything in Asgard. Even if they're not right, they think it's right.
"You're my friend-" Tony starts, and Loki squeals when Tony says those words, those words he didn't think he'd hear once they saw him.
Loki slaps himself even harder, and he almost doesn't even feel the pain that lets him know it's real.
It's real! He giggles, and soon it turns into a full out laugh and he can't stop.
His best friend, his Tony, doesn't even see a monster when he looks at him, even if there's blue skin or red eyes or ice. His Tony, who lets him live here, who says he likes him and says he's smart, who's told him all these wonderful things, and despite all the evidence against them, actually means every word he says.
He's not stupid enough to think he's not a monster, but his friends don't see it. Which is crazy, but really, really amazing.
Slap! It's real! He hops up and down excitedly, squealing and flicking his fingers.
Tony grabs his wrists again. "Snoopy, don't hurt yourself." Tony's looking at him with something like... concern? Not disgust, not hate. They're all looking at him like that, like even something as small as a slap is something he shouldn't get, like they don't like seeing him hurt even that much, or little, he supposes. Slaps to the face are nothing.
He's still laughing, with relief, with joy. They don't want him dead, they don't even want him hurt, not even a little bit. Nobody's ever been like that before. He really does have friends that other people say are real!
His friends don't see a freak when they look at him, either, even if there's magic or crying or nightmares, or getting so scared he pees his pants. Thank the Norns that almost never happens, though. They haven't even said anything about that, though.
His friends don't even talk about him before- before the comments about what happened, can't take some blows to the head, before the slaves said they didn't end up like him.
His friends look at him and just see Loki.
So, at least Loki's whole misunderstanding about them not hating him got cleared up :)
I know a lot of fan art has Jotun Loki with horns, and I'm not sure if they have horns in the myths. But he didn't in the movies, so I'm going with that.
Hopefully I can update sometime soon. I'm also hoping to go see Civil War sometime. I think it's obvious which team I'd be on, considering the major characters in this fic.