Chapter 62: Lessons in Dumbledore's Office
There was indeed a lot of homework.
Severus and Quincey scarcely left the library or their common room in trying to dig their way out of their burial chamber made of piles of parchment needing to be written on for assignments. This Thursday evening was being spent in the common room. Severus was wishing he could spend the time with his beloved, and Quincey felt the same about Mary.
"Who gives a toss about the difference between Monkshood and Wolfbane?!" cried Quincey in exasperation.
"It's a trick question, really, to keep you up to scratch," said Severus in a quiet, humbled voice. "They are the same plant, also known as aconite."
"Oh. Well, thanks for the reminder, Severus. Which bit of homework are you on?"
"History of Magic. Binns really needs to be put up to date."
"Half the time, I wonder why Dumbledore bothers keeping Binns and his subject on."
"We all do, mate," sighed Severus.
Quincey eventually dropped his quill and parchment before him in exhaustion.
"Think I'll turn in, mate. You coming?"
"Not just yet. Got a few more pages left. I'll catch up. Don't worry, I'll be quiet."
"Just as you like, Severus, but don't stay in that chair all night, like that one time in first year!"
"It was Just Once!"
With a cheeky chuckle. Quincey went up to bed.
No sooner was he gone into their dormitory that Severus heard a tapping on the window across the room. From what he could see, it was an owl perhaps…no, Fawkes. He knew of only one red-feathered bird in Hogwarts.
Opening the window, Severus welcomed Fawkes, who had a small piece of parchment in his talon. He placed it before Severus with care and then flew off again after a quiet chirp of birdsong.
Feeling a little less stressed about his homework with that beauteous note, Severus unrolled the parchment and read Dumbledore's small correspondence to him.
Dear Mr Prince,
I wish for you to come to my office after dinner tomorrow evening under the pretence of doing your Prefect patrol early. We need to add in your extra-curricular subject starting this year.
I apologize for the fact that this adds on to your homework, but I'm sure you will still be outstanding in all you study, including this new subject.
Yours,
Prof. A.P.W.B.D
Severus grinned. He had been looking forward to finally learning how to discipline his mind once more. He spent so long living under the protection of Occlumency that when he had lost it in his rebirthed state, he almost felt exposed without it. That feeling yielded even up to today. Although he was hopeful that he wouldn't have half as much despair to hide from in this life, he still felt the desire to reacquire the mind skill. "
Finally."
He went to bed ten minutes later with a lighter heart than he had before even coming back to Hogwarts this year. Things were getting going again.
Friday evening couldn't come quicker.
Severus spent his final day of the week praying for his Double History of Magic, his Arithmancy and even his Double Potions to come to an end as quickly as possible. Slughorn and Binns, in particular, seemed to drone on and on, spewing either outdated or inaccurate drivel and he was more than happy to be shot of them both, so he could actually learn something significant and useful from Dumbledore.
Lily and Quincey could tell he looked impatient and eager.
"Wonder what's got his wand in a knot?" asked Quincey.
"Your guess is as good as mine," replied Lily, "he's not said a word to me of anything exciting going on, and we aren't planning to meet up after dinner. I have my Defence homework to do."
They both shrugged it off by the time Severus didn't mention anything he had on his mind after Potions had ended.
Severus and Lily shared an intimate kiss and he and Quincey chatted casually on their way to the common room to do some studying before dinner, but beyond that, no interactions were made.
Dinner came and went and after Dumbledore sent all students back to their dormitories for the night, Severus told Quincey he needed to stretch his legs and wanted to start his Prefect duties early this evening.
"If you say so, Severus," said Quincey, still confused what made Severus so jumpy all day and was somewhat disappointed that nothing exciting seemed to have happened.
Once Quincey was gone, Severus made a beeline for Dumbledore's office, striding with intent to the gargoyle.
"Alternate," he said quietly.
The gargoyle moved and Severus embarked onto the spiral staircase before knocking on his confidante's door.
"Enter, Severus," came Dumbledore's perky voice.
Severus did so and saw to his dismay that Dumbledore had the Resurrection Stone laid on the desk before him with an expectant expression.
"And what might that be doing in my sight?" asked Severus coldly.
"Don't you wish to communicate with your loved ones?" asked Dumbledore innocently.
"The dead should stay dead," said Severus half-heartedly.
"And yet here you are," remarked Dumbledore.
"And at what cost? My existence is why so much has changed in this universe. Peter may still be alive, my grandparents too!"
"You know as well as I that the world never revolves around one individual, no matter how remarkable that individual may be."
Severus stared longingly at the Stone; not so much for Lily Potter, but for his grandmother. He desperately missed her. He wanted to tell her how sorry he was for failing to save Septimus or even be there when he died. He just wanted them both to still be alive.
"Fine."
"Splendid. After you're done, we shall begin our Occlumency class."
Dumbledore and Fawkes vacated once more as Severus seized the Stone and turned it thrice in hand.
There before him, united at last, were his grandparents. Septimus and Desdemona looked radiant and elated to be able to hold each other once more. They even looked contented, for two people who were dead.
"Hello, Severus," said Septimus pleasantly, as if he was greeting him during a visit at the Manor over the summer holidays.
"Oh, my dear boy," said Desdemona with teary eyes, "I'm so proud of you. Septimus has explained everything. I am just so glad our daughter had a chance to reunite with us. I will forever loathe our counterparts from your first life for never finding you both. I hope you both forgive us for that."
"It wasn't you two," said Severus with a sigh of relief.
Clearly, Desdemona didn't resent the fact that he and his mother were reincarnated from an alternate universe.
"I'm sorry, Nanny, but we had to keep it a secret."
"I understand, love, I only wish we had lasted longer with you both. I'm so sorry I wasted away on you both. My poor Eileen…"
"She's coping," said Severus, "and once all this is over, I promise to bring her to you."
"That means the world to us, Severus," said Septimus softly, "and now to current matters."
He took on a sterner stance at that last half of the sentence.
Severus sensed what was coming.
"How long are you going to give this other Lily the cold shoulder?" asked Septimus. "You know as well as I that despite your respective choices and hurts, you owe her a great deal for even being here. And you also know that you need her to help locate those damned objects that Voldemort has hidden away."
"You can't really blame him, Septimus. She hurt him deeply. He loved her for so long and it brought him nothing but unhappiness. His being alive in our world is just a further testament to her rejection when you think about it."
"I realize that, dear, but if he doesn't put that aside for the time being, his second chance may amount to nothing after all."
"Please," murmured Severus, "I don't want to go through this."
"You need to sometime, lad," said Septimus stiffly.
"I agree that you'll have to choose between your grudge and your future sooner or later, darling," sighed Desdemona with a sympathetic look.
"Why can't I just…hate her?" asked Severus piteously.
It would have been so much simpler if he had stopped loving her all those years ago. But his love for Lily, in both universes, was eternal. He could never hope to abandon either of them, until Lily Potter pushed him over the edge. And even though he was continuing this front of disdain, he could never fully hate her, and he was also sure that he would eventually cave and reconcile, likely begging for forgiveness once again.
"Because you have no hate left to spare," said Septimus simply, "you used it all and focused it to the likes of that Potter character and the Dark Lord himself."
Severus sighed, wishing it was as simple as all that.
"If I must reconnect with her, I shall…but please…let me wait a bit longer. I have a lot ahead of me this evening."
"So we gather," said Septimus.
"It's very advanced magic you're learning so young, Severus. Are you sure you can master it this early?" asked Desdemona.
"I must," said Severus plainly.
He knew how much was at stake if he didn't keep his mind behind closed and bolted doors. If Voldemort ever targeted him before finishing his mission to end his reign, he would find out everything. He might even try to become Dark Lord of all universes, using Severus' memories of Heaven and the Higher Ones.
"And I've no doubt you will," said Septimus proudly, "you've accomplished more than any wizard I've ever heard of before."
"And we are so proud to call you our grandson," reassured Desdemona.
"We'll let you get on for now, boy," said Septimus, "keep making us proud, eh?"
"I promise."
With some parting smiles, Severus released the Stone.
"I'm finished," he called out.
Dumbledore appeared post-haste, Fawkes seemingly already back on his perch, head tucked into feathers, seemingly asleep.
"How did your reunion with your grandmother go, Severus?"
"The way you wanted it to, I'll wager," remarked Severus coldly.
Dumbledore had enough tact to look sheepish.
"So, you will reconnect with Mrs Potter?"
"Eventually," said Severus dismissively.
Dumbledore took that as a better reply than fifteen minutes ago, and let the matter drop, so they could get to the primary business at hand.
"In that case, are you ready for your first Occlumency lesson?"
"Yes, sir," replied Severus with much more enthusiasm since he came into the office.
"Well, as you are already aware of all the complexities of the subject matter, and therefore well-studied, I imagine you are more likely to want to get straight to the practical exercises and skip the studious side of things."
"Yes, sir, I'm well read on Occlumency and I still have memories of the mechanics in books, but I am definitely more prepared to learn the actual art…again."
"Nothing better than an eager student, I've always believed," chuckled Dumbledore. "Very well then."
He pulled out the Elder Wand which made Severus shudder as it was the very object he had died for.
"Are you sure you can face this wand, Severus?" asked Dumbledore in concern.
"It's a stick of magic, Professor," said Severus bluntly, "if I become scared of it, I may as well be afraid of all wands, and all of magic in general. I can handle it."
Dumbledore nodded slowly and then aimed for Severus' forehead, just as the young man himself had done to Harry Potter, albeit in a far less friendly way.
"Ready?"
"Ready."
"One…two…three…Legilimens!"
Severus braced himself and felt the first attack on his mind in so long.
Dumbledore caught flashes of detentions that Severus had handed upon some Hufflepuffs and a chubby boy with a toad…then he saw Lily's dead body-
"NO!"
Severus shut the image away from not just Dumbledore, but from himself. He couldn't bear to look at that scene again.
The sheer force of revolt against the memory not only blocked out from Severus' mind, but also knocked Dumbledore off his feet and he collapsed into his chair; Fawkes instantly waking and flapping to his partner's side.
"Severus…you truly are exceptional!"
"I'm sorry, sir," panted Severus, clutching his head and trying not to burst into tears.
"What for? You protected your mind! On the first go! I think you may have retained your Occlumency skills better than you thought!"
Severus pondered in silence.
"You developed your skills in a way others have not before, because the other Occlumens out there only want to keep their minds protected from intruders, but you, Severus, have managed to retain the ability to protect your mind from itself. You have shut out those terrible images of your former past that you just cannot bear to face, and so when someone enters your mind and tries to see such a memory, you have the capacity to eject them, as you just did, because you have already barricaded it from yourself."
Severus never thought of it before. He used to have those nightmares just after re-meeting Lily and Petunia on that day when his memories returned, but by and by on an unconscious level, the better his new life became, the less he dwelled on the horrifying memories of his former life.
"I suppose you might be right," he said softly, "I never…I just…"
"I understand, Severus," said Dumbledore with a tone of pride in his student, "as you are more progressive than we anticipated, would you like to call it a day this evening?"
"Please, sir," said Severus, slightly ashamed that he couldn't handle any further invasions.
"Not at all, I wasn't expecting our first session to last too long. That would be a surprise to me as much as the progress we already made had been. You may go and do your regular duties and then get some rest for the weekend. I'm sure Miss Evans and yourself have some ideas of what to get up to in the grounds, I daresay under that tree spot of yours."
Severus blushed. He and Lily did indeed have plans to study and kiss under the tree over the following days.
"Ah, young love is a beautiful thing. But nothing beats young true love in all its innocent perfection, eh?"
"You…think it's true love, sir?" asked Severus doubtfully.
"I do," said Dumbledore simply.
Severus never stopped thinking of those words from the moment he left the office to the last minutes before he fell asleep on his pillow that same night.
Author's end of chapter talk: Here is Chapter 62. Lots more to come. Hope this chapter was okay to those still reading it. Again, I am still Snily3838, just with a 2 on the end due to losing my password and email address for the original account. This is all legitimate from before I took my hiatus, having planned the remaining chapters in my absence.
What do you think will happen next? Well, in Chapter 63, we'll have a new Heaven subplot, and Septimus, Desdemona and Lily Potter will witness a special meeting and occasion take place. Please review! Thanks for reading.