"Donna," whispered Jay in horror, staring at the device that bore Donna's face upon it. The device stared blankly at them, uttering the same phrase over and over again: "Donna Noble has left the Library. Donna Noble has been saved." River nudged her back, trying to encourage her to move back a little as the Doctor scanned the device with the sonic screwdriver. His expression was one of rage and grief and guilt. "How can it be Donna?"
"Hey, who turned out the lights?"
Jay's head snapped around and River made a sound of alarm. She disappeared around a corner to check on "Proper Dave's" progress, and then came sprinting back with a concerned look on her face, hair bouncing with each step. "Doctor," she said, "we've got to go. Now."
He ignored her and gently touched Donna's face upon the device, slipping his sonic screwdriver into his pocket. River scowled, impatient, and ushered the others along. "Donna," he murmured.
"Hey, who turned out the lights?"
Closer. It was coming closer. So, Jay grabbed the Doctor's arm and hissed, "We have to go, or we won't be able to help her, Doctor. She's got to be alive. She's got to be." The Doctor glanced at her and then nodded, withdrawing slowly from the informational device. In one swift, smooth movement, the Doctor had turned on his heel and burst into a run, Jay hot on his heels. They caught up with the others and continued running.
Jay was heaving for air by the time they skidded to a halt, having reached a dead end. She rubbed her chest, flexing her fingers against the pins and needles in her hands in thought. Too much running, she thought with a grimace. Far too much running to make her comfortable. Not that not running would do her much good either. Just staring at the shadows was making her heart race.
"Jay, the gun!" shouted River, and Jay shoved her hands into her pocket with shaking fingers. Right. She still had that. She aimed it at the bookshelf that blocked their way and fired without hesitation. A panel disappeared, and River ushered them all through, clambering over after the Doctor had gone through. The room they climbed into resembled the skylight room they'd been in before Proper Dave had changed sides. This one, however, was decorated with red walls and would have been quite lovely if not for the danger surrounding them.
"Right in the center," River ordered as Jay clicked the safety back on and shoved the gun into her pocket. "In the middle of the light, quickly! Don't let your shadows cross, remember?" Jay eyed her own shadow suspiciously. She stood there uncertainly as she watched the Doctor swiftly began scanning the area for any signs of living creatures within those shadows.
"There's no lights here," River muttered to herself. "Sunset's coming. We can't stay long. Have you found a live one, Doctor?"
Jay wondered where her helmet had gone – when she'd removed it, or if she'd even ever put it on at the Doctor's demand. But she looked to the Doctor for his answer – only to find him frowning at his sonic screwdriver, tapping it against his hand irritably. "Maybe," he muttered. "It's getting harder to tell…what's wrong with you?" He continued to mess with his sonic screwdriver as River simply threw a chicken leg Other Dave gave her into a shadow. She winced when flesh was shredded away instantly. The Doctor made a face at the sound. "They won't attack until there's enough of them, but they've got our scent now. They're coming."
"What's wrong with your sonic?" asked Jay, trailing after him nervously as he began trying once more to scan the shadows. She huffed when he didn't answer her, too focused on what he was doing, and instead stopped and focused her attention onto what the others were talking about, pretending she couldn't hear. She pretended to be focused entirely on the Doctor, even as she listened with more intent to those behind her.
"And who," Lux was asking, voice distorted by his helmet. "Is 'the Doctor?' Or the girl, for that matter?"
River was quiet when she spoke."The Doctor is the only story you'll ever tell – if you survive him. And Jay? She's…so much more than what she appears to be."
Jay thought that such a thing was a little exaggerated for a moment, but quickly decided otherwise. The comment about the Doctor wasn't necessarily untrue. Wherever the Doctor walked, trouble followed. She was no different – except she didn't think "so much more" was anything good.
"You say they're your friends, but they don't even know who you are," pointed out Anita.
"Listen." River's voice became sharp and insistent. "All you need to know is this: I'd trust either of them and both of them to the end of the universe. And actually, we've been." Jay bit her tongue hard to avoid a startled sound of surprise. Had they? Interesting. She'd look forward to it. When Anita commented that the Doctor didn't seem to trust River, River nodded. "Yeah," she murmured, "there's a tiny problem. He hasn't met me yet." She abandoned her companions to join Jay, eyeing her with care. "Alright, Jay?"
"Everyone keeps asking that," mused Jay. "I'm fine – really. I'm not going to have an attack, nor am I any more scared than I would be elsewhere." Not entirely true. Something about this danger was different, unnerved her more than most things did. And she was worried, desperately, about the missing Donna Noble.
River patted her shoulder and then glanced to the Doctor when he huffed and put the sonic screwdriver to his ear, as if listening. "What's wrong with it, Doctor?"
"There's a signal coming from somewhere interfering with it," complained the Time Lord, coming to join them.
"Use the red settings – or the dampers," River suggested.
He glared at her. "It doesn't have a red setting, or dampers."
"It will one day." River sighed and offered him her own sonic screwdriver. The Doctor took it, frowning at the device. Jay leaned in to look with curiosity, fascinated. It looked exactly like his, except with additions put on it. She wondered if River had done those herself, or if the future Doctor had done so for her.
The Doctor ran his fingers along the sonic screwdriver and huffed again. "So, some time in the future, I just give you my sonic screwdriver?" She nodded. "Why would I do that?" He jerked his chin at Jay. "I haven't given her one – why would I give you one?"
Jay frowned, not appreciating what he said. "Hey," she complained, "don't drag me into your argument, Doctor."
"I didn't pluck it from your cold, dead hands if that's what you're worried about," River said quite coldly, glaring at him. "Listen to me. You've lost your friend – you're angry. I understand. But you need to be less emotional, Doctor. Right now." He sputtered, and she pointed to the people behind them – and then Jay. "There are six people in this room still alive, one of which is Jay. Focus on that. Dear God, you're hard work young."
"Young?" he spluttered, looking as if he was inclined to throttle her for making it all the worse for him. "Who are you?!"
"For Heaven's sake!" snarled Lux, storming over to stand before the three of them. "Look at the pair of you! We're all going to die right here, and you're just squabbling like an old married couple!"
The Doctor faltered, caught off guard, and snapped his eyes to River with a shocked look on his face, suspicion gathering in his gaze. River nixed the idea with a short, rough bark of laughter, a playful grin sliding across her face. She winked at Jay, which only served to confuse Jay further. "Doctor…one day, I'm going to be someone you trust completely. But I can't wait for you to find that out. So, I'm going to prove it to you." She offered him a soft smile, gesturing to Jay. "To both of you. And I'm sorry…I'm really, very sorry."
Jay opened her mouth to question what, exactly, River was apologizing for, but River ignored her and leaned in, placing her fingers gently on the Doctor's shoulders. She whispered something to him in a soft voice none of the rest of them could hear. When she pulled away, she searched his gaze. "Are we good? Doctor…are we good?"
"Yeah," he said softly, stunned by whatever it was she'd told him. "Yeah, we're…we're good." He cleared his throat, and she took the sonic screwdriver she'd handed him back. She turned to Jay, and Jay stiffened when she smiled at her, leaning in.
"You don't have to," Jay said, unnerved for some reason. She didn't want to hear what River had to say. Something about it frightened her. Instinct had her tripping back a step. "I trust you."
"No, you don't, and you need to," River said quietly. The Doctor watched with interest as River gently leaned in again, murmuring softly to her.
"Jayden O'Connors," River told so softly that no one else could have dreamed of overhearing. "The last time we saw one another, you told me what you fear the most. It's not death, or pain, or the darkness you face. It's not even the loss of the life you live now, or being alone. What you are scared of is being forgotten by those you care for most – and abandoned, as you were by the ones who were supposed to love you."
Jay ripped away from her, tripping back to stand closer to the Doctor. Her face was pale as she glared warily at River. River met her gaze evenly, a question there, and Jay nodded curtly. "Doctor, she said as River turned away, wondering what she'd told him if his response had been so very different from Jay's. "What did she tell you?"
Instead of answering, the Doctor flipped his sonic screwdriver in his hand and launched into a small rant, which was answer enough for her. "Know what's interesting about my screwdriver? Very hard to interfere with, practically nothing strong enough… Well, maybe some hairdryers, but I'm working on that. So, there is a very strong signal coming from somewhere, and it wasn't there before, so what's new? What's changed?" When no one answered, too taken aback, he snapped, "Come on, what's new?! What's different?!"
Jay thought it over with the others for a moment before suddenly gasping softly, her gaze locked on the dimming light overhead. "Doctor," she said, and he glanced at her when she spoke urgently, "it's getting dark." He snorted, annoyed, and she lost her patience with the attitude, snarling, "Shut up and listen, would you?"
He blinked at her, startled by her attitude, and muttered, "Donna's rubbing off on you."
She ignored him and said, "It's getting dark – nighttime. The moon's coming out, right? You told me that some planets have unnatural moons – moons that humans put there."
The Doctor stared blankly at her and then rounded on Lux for an explanation. "What is the moon?"
"It's a doctor moon. It's not real – it was built as a part of the Library. It's a virus checker; it supports and maintains the main computer at the core of the planet," Lux explained.
The Doctor lifted his sonic screwdriver back to his ear, fidgeting with it and frowning as he tried several times to get it to cooperate. Jay listened to the various sounds that the sonic could give off. "Well, it's still active – it's signaling, see? Someone somewhere in this library is alive and communicating with the moon. Or possibly alive and drying their hair. No, the signal is definitely coming from the moon. I'm blocking it, but it's trying to break through–"
Jay was so focused on what the Doctor was doing that she very nearly missed it. A short cry left her mouth when she saw the flicker of a projection that appeared the Doctor. "Donna!" she called, and the projection of Donna looked rather startled as she stared at them before disappearing again, just after the Doctor had whipped around to look. "That was – that was Donna! She's alive then, right, Doctor? We can get her back?"
"Hold on, hold on," he muttered, furiously fumbling with the sonic screwdriver once more. His brow was furrowed in serious thought, and Jay thought he was nearly vibrating with his desperation to figure out what was going on. "I'm trying to find the wavelength – ugh, I'm being blocked!" he snapped in fury.
"Professor…" When Anita spoke, Jay turned to look, and she faltered when she saw Anita staring at the ground. She followed her gaze and gasped softly, immediately double-checking her own shadows when she said softly. "I…I have two shadows."
River and the Doctor whirled around, horrified by the discover that what she'd said was entirely true. Anita did, in fact, have two shadows. Jay felt horrible for the other woman, wishing she could help her but not entirely sure as to what she could do. River told Anita to keep it together while they figured out what to do. "I'm keeping it together. I'm only crying. I'm about to die, you know. It's not an overreaction."
With great care, the Doctor picked his way over Anita's shadow and stood before her. "I'm going to try something, alright, Anita?" She gave the okay, and he began fidgeting with the controls on her helmet. There was the sound of the sonic screwdriver being used, and then River gasped.
"Oh, God. They've got inside!"
"No, no," reassured the Doctor, stepping back. "I just tinted her visor. Maybe they'll think they're already there and leave her alone."
"Do you really think that'll work?" said Jay with curiosity. She shifted anxiously, and the Doctor met her gaze with a small grimace.
He made a face that had her rolling her eyes. "Maybe. I don't know. It's a swarm – it's not like we chat." Jay sputtered, insulted with the snappy, sarcastic comment he'd made. Ignoring her response, he waved River over. Jay joined them. "Professor, quick word," he muttered. When she cocked her head in a questioning manner, he cleared his throat quietly and said, "You said there were six people still alive in this room."
"Yeah? So?" River challenged, even more confused than before.
"So…" The Doctor's voice dropped into a whisper. "Why are there seven?"
Jay whirled around in an instant, staring in horror at the suit that stood half-concealed in the shadows. River yelped as she realized the truth, and the Doctor stiffened as "Proper Dave" said simply, "Hey, who turned out the lights?"
"Run," ordered the Doctor, and everyone present bolted. The Doctor took the lead, charging ahead, and Jay spared a final look over her shoulder, pausing briefly in the doorway. "Sorry," she mumbled, not sure who she was apologizing to, and then sprinted after the Doctor.
"Here you are, Dr. Moon," Donna said cheerfully, ducking back into her living room with a cup of tea in her hand. She faltered when she found that the doctor was no longer there. She stared at the space he'd been in, absolutely puzzled by the matter. She was absolutely certain he'd been there not more than a second before…and they'd been discussing something important…something that had resulted in a flicker of an image she could not recall now.
"Mummy, I made you!"
Donna whirled around. The tea she had been holding was gone. She knelt before the young, red-haired girl that beamed proudly at her, showing her a humanoid figure made of many colors of clay. "Oh, that's nice, Ella," said Donna, smoothing her daughter's hair back. "Where's the face?"
"I don't know." The girl frowned.
"Did you see Dr. Moon? Did he leave?" asked Donna, puzzled still by the missing doctor. But the arrival of her husband distracted her, and she rose to her feet as her children ran to him. She found herself even more confused. Surely time hadn't passed that quickly?
She'd had a few moments similar to this over the last few years. Not that they always felt like years. Other times, they felt like a matter of minutes – a matter of hours, at most. Time shifted so weird now a days. No, everything was odd. When her husband, Lee, a dark-haired man with a stammer and a gentle demeanor, expressed interest in what she was frowning about, Donna asked, "Did you see Dr. Moon on your way in?"
"No," Lee answered, baffled. "Must've missed him…was he here?"
"Yeah, just a second ago. You must have passed him…" Donna wandered over to the window, confused. She peered through the window, cocking her head when she saw what looked like a woman in a black, old-fashioned gown suddenly stride across the street, a massive black veil trailing behind her on the ground.
Interesting, her mind supplied.
Shaking her head to clear it, Donna turned and hugged Lee tightly, frustrated. "It's been a long day," she murmured. "That's all. I'm just tired–"
It was another weird moment, in which she found time shifting without her notice. One moment, she was hugging Lee at the window, the next, she was standing in the hall, dressed in pajamas. She was bewildered as to how she'd gotten there. Lee peered questioningly at her, and she said slowly, "I said I was tired. And…and we put the kids to bed and watched television." Her confusion faded, eyes lighting when Lee nodded his agreement
A sound caught her attention, and Donna frowned over her shoulder in confusion. "Was that a letter?"
"It's midnight," pointed out Lee. Donna shooed him out to go and check what had been delivered through their mail slot, and Donna frowned to herself as she peered out a window, pushing a curtain aside. She faltered when she saw a woman in black walking across the street, much like earlier in the day.
"'The world is wrong.'"
Donna jumped when Lee spoke, turning to face him. "What?"
"For you," he said, "weirdly enough." Lee held the letter aloft and read aloud. "'Dear Donna, the world is wrong. Meet me at your usual play park, two o'clock p.m. tomorrow.'" He handed her the note, and Donna studied it with interest before looking back out the window again. Her fingers tightened around the paper, a decision already made in her mind–
And then again, between one moment and the next, things changed. Donna was dressed, clad in her coat, her two children with her. One was on either side of her, holding her hands. "Alright, you two," she said gently, smiling lovingly at them. "Off you go to play, no fighting."
Laughing, the pair bolted for the nearby playground, allowing Donna to focus on the woman she'd spotted nearby. It was the woman from the day and night before, clothed in black, old-style clothes with a massive black veil to hide her face. She was seated calmly on a nearby bench, her hands clasped in her light.
Scowling at her, Donna sat beside her on the bench. "I got your note last night. 'The world is wrong.' What's that mean?"
"No, you didn't," the woman said in an elegant, cold voice.
"I'm sorry, what?"
"You didn't get my note last night." The woman's veiled face turned towards her, and Donna faltered in confusion. "You got it a few seconds ago. Having decided to come, you suddenly found yourself arriving. That is how time progresses here, in the manner of a dream. You've suspected that before, haven't you, Donna Noble?"
"How do you know me?" said Donna defensively, angry in her confusion.
"We met before," the woman said, "in the Library. You were kind to me. I hope now to return that kindness." The woman lifted her chin proudly and declared, "I am what is left of Miss Evangelista. Walk with me." She rose to her feet, gesturing and with a shocked whimper, Donna rose, too. They began to walk along the edge of the playground. Occasionally, Donna would quickly check on her two children, worried. "I suggested we meet here because a playground's the easiest place to see it – to see the lie."
"What lie?" whispered Donna.
"The children," Evangelista said. "Look at the children."
Shaking her head, Donna tried to change the subject. "Why do you wear that veil? If I had a face like yours, I wouldn't hide it."
"You remember my face, then." Evangelista sounded pleased with this. "The memories are still there – the Library, the Doctor, Jay, me. You've just been programmed not to look." Donna flinched at the mention of it all, images flickering through her head.
One of a skeleton, strewn over a seat, caught her attention first and foremost. "Sorry, but…you're dead," Donna said softly to her, and Evangelista chuckled softly.
"In a way, we're all dead here, Donna. We are the dead of the Library." When Donna checked on her children again, unnerved, Evangelista said rather coldly, without much sympathy, "Your children were never alive."
"Don't you say that." Donna stiffened, blazing in her anger. She set her jaw and clenched her hands into fists. "Don't you dare say that about my children."
Evangelista gave a cold laugh and gestured to the children playing on the playground. "Look at your children, Donna. Look at all of them. They're not real. Do you see it now They're all the same – all of the children of this world, the same boy and the same girl and over and over again."
"Stop it!" cried Donna, fighting the urge to let the information sink in. She'd seen it – the same children, dozens of them, playing together. She didn't want to, though. She wanted nothing to do with it. So in an effort to fight off her thoughts, she cried, "Why are you doing this? Why are you wearing that veil?"
She reached out and yanked the veil off, revealing that the once pretty woman she remembered now possessed a face that had been distorted and warped – entirely unlike what she remembered, and Donna began to scream.
Air burned its way down her lungs when Jay decided there was no way in hell she could run any further. Not caring that they were in the middle of a massive sky bridge with nowhere else to go, she tripped to a halt, doubling over. She gripped her knees and heaved for air, wincing as pins and needles shot up through her limbs. She thought for a moment that she'd need a lot more than a simple break to recover as she tried to catch her breath.
"Jay?" River gasped, retreating. "Alright?"
"I need to breathe," complained Jay, frustrated.
The Doctor jogged back, too, the others in their group hovering ahead and waiting impatiently to go ahead. His gaze was firm as he said, "Professor, go ahead and find a safe spot."
"It's a carnivorous swarm in a suit," snapped River, looking ready to try and carry Jay if she had to. "You can't reason with it, Doctor."
"Five minutes," he barked. Jay eyed him warily; it was more than enough time for her to recover, but honestly, she wasn't sure she wanted to stay that long. Just a moment was all she needed. But…River's words clearly rang true; the Doctor intended to speak with the Vashta Nerada. Jay rolled her eyes, not excited about that. Maybe she should just go with River, she thought.
"Other Dave," ordered River, retreating backwards. "Stay with him. Pull them out when he's too stupid to live. Two minutes, Doctor!"
"Hey, who turned out the lights?" Proper Dave's body had arrived in the short time they'd taken to argue. The Doctor nudged Jay back a little, and she stumbled aside, still gasping desperately for breath. She still kept close, eyeing Other Dave anxiously over her shoulder to see what he thought. The helmeted man gave nothing away.
"You hear that?" the Doctor suddenly shouted at the swarm occupying Proper Dave's suit. "Those words? That is the very last thought of the man who wore that suit, before you climbed inside and stripped his flesh. That's a man's soul trapped inside a neural relay, going 'round and 'round forever. Now, if you don't have the decency to let him go, how 'bout this? Use him! Talk to me. It's easy, neural relay. Just point and think. Use him and talk to me."
The Vashta Nerada stumbled forward a few more steps and Jay retreated a step herself, nervous and ready to run despite the trembling in her legs. "The Vashta Nerada live on all the worlds in this system, but you hunt in forests. So what are you doing in a library?"
"We should go, Doctor!" called Other Dave warily.
"In a minute," the Doctor threw over his shoulder. He turned back to the Vashta Nerada, eyeing Jay for a moment to ensure she was safe. She smiled faintly at him in turn, and he returned his attention to the situation at hand. "You came to the Library to hunt. Why? Tell me why."
Jay didn't expect the creature to answer, so when it did, she gaped at it in surprise. "We…did not…we did not…come here."
"Of course you did," the Doctor argued. "'Course you came here."
"We came from here. We hatched here."
"We should go, Doctor!"
"But you hatched from trees – from spores in trees," protested the Doctor, frustrated.
Jay paused, something tugging at the back of her mind. A thought, a reminder. Something she should have known. And when the Vashta Nerada answered – a simple "these are our forests – it clicked. "Doctor," Jay whispered, grabbing his wrist and squeezing it lightly. "Doctor," Jay repeated softly. "It's the Library. The books…all those books, made from the trees they hunted in…all of those millions of books..."
"We should go, Doctor!"
The Doctor's eyes widened with understanding and he whirled around, running a hand through his hair. "The forests of the Vashta Nerada, pulped and printed and bound…a million million books, hatching shadows." Shaking his head, he turned a sorrow-filled look on Other Dave, studying the blinking green lights that signaled the remaining neural relay that was now ghosting. "Oh, Dave," he murmured, "I'm so sorry.
"Jay," the Doctor suddenly murmured, and she realized within an instant that they were in a bad spot. A Vashta Nerada on one side, and another on their other. She tightened her grip on him, horrified. "When I say run, run. Don't stop, don't look back, just run and find River."
"Doctor?" she whispered. "What are you going to do? Run with me."
He flashed her a grin that told her he felt guilty about something he was doing – something he wasn't telling her. Ignoring her question about what he was going to do, he pushed her forward a few steps, away from him. "Thing about me, I'm stupid," he said, casually tossing his sonic screwdriver in one hand. "I talk too much, always blabbing on and on and on. This gob doesn't stop for anything. Want to know the only reason I'm still alive? Always stay near the door." He grinned, and then flashed Jay a glare. "Run."
Jay tore off at a sprint in the direction River had gone, her breath hitching when she heard a sound. She glanced back just once to see a trapdoor open and the Doctor vanish into what she knew was thin air, lying beneath the door. A muffled sound of horror left her, though she had no doubt he'd survive somehow.
Jay focused on the situation before her, however. She dove past the swarm possessing Other Dave's suit, whimpering when it turned slowly on her. But, she didn't miss how no shadow seemed to chase after her. Instead, it seemed to recoil, as if scared of her. She made a note to question River about that when she found her; she got the feeling it'd be a long, hot minute before she was with her idiot friend of a Time Lord again.
She was sure the Vashta Nerada would come searching for the group, but she didn't hear them chasing after her as she ran. She bolted down a series of corridors until she emerged into a new room that resembled the other two domed rooms she'd been in earlier that day. This time, however, it was dark, and the only light came from the moon high above.
A shout of warning filled her ears and everyone there whirled on her. But River laughed in relief at the sight of her and came over to greet her. "You made it!" she said joyously, although she faltered when she realized it was only Jay. "Where's the Doctor? And Other Dave?"
"The Doctor…is somewhere," wheezed Jay, doubling over to gasp for air. She rubbed her chest, wincing at the thundering heartbeat beneath her fingers. "Coming." She pushed sweaty hair from her face as she straightened a little while later, grimacing. How did the Doctor run in his coat like this all the time when it wasn't even cold? "Other Dave isn't."
"The Doctor…he's coming back, right?" fretted Anita, helmet still on and tinted.
"He always comes back," Jay reassured, although she wasn't quite so positive about that herself. Did he? He'd always come back for her, or Donna, or Martha. But still… She'd heard of other times. Circumstances when that wasn't the case. Regardless, she trusted him to not leave the Library as it was. He'd figure something out.
Jay rubbed her chest a little more as River aimed her sonic screwdriver at the shadows and went to work on testing the shadows. She listened to the soft buzzing for a few moments, finding comfort in the sound, and then carefully picked her way over to River, cautious of any shadows. "River," she said, eyeing the moon above her head. She spoke softly, so only River would hear. "Why…why would I have told you what I did?"
Because what River had said regarding her biggest fears were true. She wasn't scared of death, or pain, or even being alone. What she feared was being abandoned, like she'd demanded the Doctor not do. She was scared of being forgotten by those who claimed to care, like her family had done. Excluding Lucas, naturally. Mark had not sought her out when she'd gone missing and though her mother had clearly suffered from worry, she'd not done much either. She never had.
She was absolutely terrified that one day, the Doctor would turn around and leave her behind, forgetting she ever existed. That one day, Martha would call her "this one girl I can't recall the name of." That one day, Donna wouldn't even remember having known her.
Jay felt that she could understand dying, even accept death. What other choice did she have, with the poison running in her veins? But being forgotten, left behind to suffer alone…that scared her more than anything.
River faltered, glancing at her. She debated how to answer for a long moment before softening and murmuring back, "Because you knew. The you I know from the future knew exactly what you'd be like when I got here. She knew that you'd be close to understanding something – something that makes you worry the Doctor will leave you behind."
Jay's breath hitched slightly. "Like?"
"Spoilers," chided River, and went back to work.
Jay was beginning to really hate that word, but she merely said, "River…you look so sad when you see the Doctor. Why? I mean, you know us. You clearly do. But if you know the Doctor, why do you look so sad to see him?"
River smiled ruefully and lowered her sonic screwdriver. "You know," she said sadly, "when you see a photograph of someone you know, but it's from years before you met them, and it's like they're not quite…finished? They're…they're not quite done yet? Well, the Doctor's here, sure. Yes. Oh, he's here. He came when I called. You both did, just like you always do. But…the Doctor's not my Doctor. You're not my Jay." She gave her an apologetic look. "Now, my Jay and Doctor…I've seen whole armies turn and run away, and he'd just swagger off back to his TARDIS, you right along with him and scolding him for something or another. He'd open those doors with a snap of his fingers. The Doctor and Jay, in the TARDIS. Next stop? Everywhere."
"Spoilers!"
Jay whirled around with a gasp of delight, her blue eyes alighting with relief. "Doctor!" she cheered, and he flashed her a quick smile before glaring warningly at River. Whatever she'd told him, he trusted her now, but he sure as hell didn't appear to like her very much. "Nobody can open a TARDIS by snapping their fingers. Doesn't work like that."
"It does for the Doctor," River told him, voice soft.
"I am the Doctor."
"Yeah," she answered with bitterness. "Some day."
Ignoring her, the Doctor strode across the room, looking more tired than normal. Jay wondered how the hell he'd gotten away from the Vashta Nerada – what he'd done, when that trap door had opened. She'd have to ask him later.
"Anita," he said as he approached her, stopping before her. He pushed his hands into his pockets, gaze sweeping up and down her. "How are you doing?"
"Fine, I guess. As fine as I can be. If they've taken Other Dave, why haven't they gotten me yet?"
"I don't know," the Doctor said, eyeing her two shadows. "Maybe tinting the visor's making a difference."
"It's making a difference. No one's ever going to see my face again. Hope you can get me an old age though. Anything you can do?"
"I'm all over it." He looked sorrowful, and Jay got the feeling he wasn't so sure he could do anything to help poor Anita. She carefully slid over, avoiding Anita's twin shadows, and offered him a small, encouraging smile that he returned quickly. Looking more confident, the Doctor returned his attention to Anita as she spoke softly.
"Doctor. When we first met you, you didn't trust Professor Song. And then she whispered something in your ear, and you did. My life so far…I could do with a word like that. What did she say?" The Doctor said nothing, even as Jay peered curiously up at his face, interested herself and making a mental note to ask herself later without expecting an answer. "Give a dead girl a break, your secrets are safe with me."
A bell rang in the back of Jay's head. "Hold on," she murmured, furrowing her brow in thought, mind racing a thousand miles a second. The Doctor glanced at her. "Safe. You said safe. Doctor," she continued, whirling on him with wide eyes. "The data fragment–"
Understanding lit in his eyes and he snapped at Lux, "The data fragment, what did it say?"
"'Four-thousand-twenty-two people saved,'" recited Lux with confusion.
The Doctor shoved his hands through his hair, eyes glowing with excitement as he rounded on River. "Nobody says 'saved,'" he said, speaking so quickly they could barely keep up. "Nutters say 'saved,' you say 'safe.' It didn't mean safe. It literally meant saved. Every person in this library was saved!" He flew to the nearest kiosk, typing furiously. Lux, River, and Jay crowded in to peer at the screen. "See?" he said as he found the information he was seeking. "There it is, right there! A hundred years ago, there's a massive power surge. All the teleports going at once. As soon as the Vashta Nerada hit their hatching cycle, they attack, and someone hits the alarm. The computer tried to teleport everyone out!"
"'Four-thousand-twenty-two people," murmured Jay. "It pulled out all those people…"
"But then what?" the Doctor questioned, tapping the screen. "Nowhere to send them. Nowhere safe in the whole Library with Vashta Nerada growing in every shadow. Four-thousand-twenty-two people, all beamed up and nowhere to go. They're stuck in the system, waiting to be sent like e-mails. So what's a computer to do? What does a computer always do?"
Understanding dawned on River's face and a smile appeared. "It saved them. To the hard drive."
Donna stared in shocked horror at the woman before her – the deformed face that could barely even resemble a face, like a glitch in a computer system. "What…what happened to your face?" she cried.
Evangelista didn't bother to so much as try grabbing her veil, instead saying simply, "Transcription errors. Destroyed my face, but did wonders for my intellect. I'm a very, very poor copy of myself."
Shaken, Donna looked around, her breath hitching in her chest. "Where are we?" she whispered. "Why are the children all the same?"
"The same pattern, over and over, saves an awful lot of space," she pointed out. "Your physical form is stored in the Library as an energy signature that can be actualized again whenever you, or the Library, requires." Donna fumbled, frustrated. How could this not be real? It felt real! Her love for her children was real, her husband, everything– "What you see around you, this entire world," Evangelista said quietly, "is nothing more than a virtual reality."
"So…" Donna said slowly. "Why do you look like that then?"
"I had no choice. You teleported, you're a perfect reproduction. I was just a data ghost caught in the wi-fi and automatically uploaded," explained Evangelista. She cocked her odd-looking head a moment later, thoughtful. "We're only strings of numbers in here. I think a decimal point may have shifted in my IQ, but my face has been the bigger advantage." Her voice became colder, sterner. "I have the two qualities your require to see absolute truth. I am brilliant, and unloved."
Donna's face fell, and sympathy crossed her face. No one deserved to feel so unloved that they could say it like that. "If this is all a dream, then whose dream is it?"
"It's hard to see everything in the data core, even for me, but…there is a word…" Evangelista faltered, considering. "Just one word. 'CAL.'"
A scream suddenly erupted behind them, and Donna whirled around, recognizing it immediately as her daughter Ella's. Ella began sobbing as Donna forgot everything she'd been discussing with the odd woman and rushed for her. "Oh," she cried as she knelt before her daughter, her son, Joshua, hovering beside them. "Look at that knee! Oh, look at that silly old knee…" She hugged Ella to her tighter than she normally would have, especially as Evangelista appeared behind them.
"She's not real," laughed Evangelista. "They're fictions. I'm sorry, but now that you understand that, you won't be able to keep a hold. They're sustained only by your belief." Donna scoffed angrily at her and began ushering her children away in a rush, refusing to believe what she was being told. "Donna, for your own sake, let them go!"
"Mummy," whispered Ella as they ran beside her. "What did the lady mean? Are…are we not real?"
"Where are we going?" Joshua echoed.
"Home," Donna said curtly. And between one moment and the next, they were just there: home, in the living room of their house. Donna bit back a sob, horrified. The room was cast in an odd red light, and she slowly turned to look out the window as Ella spoke.
"Mummy," Ella said softly, staring in terror at the red sky outside, "what's wrong with the sky?"
The Doctor was typing furiously on the kiosk when Jay, leaving the others to their own workings, said rather sharply, "Doctor." Perhaps it was the tone of her voice, but he glanced up at her and paused in what he was doing. "They were scared of me. The Vashta Nerada – they were too scared to try and touch me."
He straightened slowly, face grim. "I know."
"No, you didn't. Now you do, but you didn't." She curled her fingers into angry fists. She'd been thinking about the matter for some time now, as he and the others worked over ideas of what to do regarding save the four-thousand-twenty-three people trapped in the system – including Donna – and dealing with the Vashta Nerada. "I saw it on your face. You didn't know if they'd leave me alone, but you didn't think I'd survive the trap door, so you made me run."
She supposed that in all fairness, it had been the only option, and it had been her own fault she'd been stuck in such a situation, but honestly. She wasn't happy with him – not at all. He could have warned her that he had such suspicions, but wasn't sure about them.
She tapped her fingers, one right after the other, on her thigh as she thought for a moment. Finally, she said, "Whatever's wrong with me…it's not good, is it? If something like the Vashta Nerada are scared of me? I mean, look at me." She glared at her own feet, as if she could see the black veins through her shoes. "And then there's the voice in my head, and the Vespiform – it tried to kill me for some reason we still don't fully understand, though I'm willing to bet it was just simply scared of me. And–"
"Jay," the Doctor interrupted gently, running a hand over his head with a grimace. "We'll figure it out." She snorted softly in disbelief. They'd not figured it out yet, why should they figure it out anytime soon? She still wasn't happy about the fact that he'd not told her either.
She was admittedly a little disappointed. She'd have thought that he'd tell her such things after everything they'd been through.
Jay shook her wrists out tiredly and murmured, "That creature…do you think it came from something like the Vashta Nerada?"
"I did," he admitted quietly. "Not anymore. I think it came from something else, something worse."
She wasn't comforted at all by that. She touched her elbow, where the other black veins resided, in thought. "At least," she tried faintly, "they won't touch me."
"That we know of," he chided, a warning in his gaze. Don't even think about trying anything. She ignored that warning, knowing that he'd do it himself if given the chance. Still, she hesitantly opened her arms, craving the comfort of a hug, and he willingly offered it in return. She stepped into it with a relieved sound, burying her face in his shoulder. She let out a shuddering breath when his arms tightened gently before he released her entirely, pressing a fond kiss to the top of her head. "Now, let's get back to finding how to get Donna out–"
They both jumped when an alarm suddenly went off, blaring loudly in their ears. Jay winced, stepping away to put her fingers over her ears and block the sound out. "What is that?" she demanded as the Doctor whirled around to face the kiosk again.
The Doctor said nothing, and when she looked to him, he was staring in shocked horror at the screen before him. Jay nudged him aside to read it and felt cold dread sink into her chest. Auto-destruct enabled in twenty minutes. Distress flickered over his features. "Twenty minutes, and this planet cracks like an egg."
Lux bustled over, staring over his other shoulder. "No, no, it's alright. The Doctor moon will stop it – it's designed to protect CAL." But the computer shut off instead, and the Doctor hissed as he clambered to try and fix it.
"All library systems are permanently offline, sorry for any inconvenience," recited an automated voice as the Doctor struggled desperately to open the top of the computer.
Lux looked as horrified as the rest of them. "We need to stop this," he said urgently. "We have to save CAL." When the Doctor demanded answers, rounding on him, he met the Doctor's gaze with a fierce look that froze the Time Lord in his tracks. "We need to get to the main computer – I'll show you what CAL is."
"It's at the core of the planet, isn't it?" Jay fretted, biting her lip.
"Well then," chirped River, "let's go." She aimed her sonic screwdriver at a piece of the floor and Jay jumped when it slid open, revealing a massive beam of blue light. "Gravity platform," crowed River, ushering Anita over. "Ready?" She looked around at the others, grinning back at the Doctor when he smiled broadly at her, excited. She offered a hand to Jay when she saw the nervous look on Jay's face. "Come on," she urged gently.
Jay reluctantly took her hand, and together, the five of them stepped onto the gravity platform.
Donna fought the urge to cry as she hugged Ella and Joshua to her, seated on the couch in the living room. They clutched at her, and she held them tighter than necessary, terrified. Joshua claimed she was hurting him, but Donna sniffled and whispered in a choked voice, "You just – you just stay where I can see you. You don't get out of my sight."
"Is it…is it bedtime?" Ella whispered, and they found themselves in the children's bedroom an instant later. Donna couldn't help the sob of realization that escaped her.
"That was lovely, wasn't it?" she forced out, tucking in Ella and sitting on the side of her bed. "That was a lovely bedtime. We had warm milk, and we watched cartoons, and then Mummy read you a lovely bedtime story."
Ella stared sadly at her mother. "Mummy, Joshua and me…we're not real, are we?"
Donna sobbed harder. "Of course you're real. You're as real as anything! Why'd you say that?" She didn't want this other life she'd been told about. Not if it meant losing her children. She'd much rather have them.
"But, Mummy," Joshua said, eyes wide and earnest. "When you're not here, sometimes, it's not like we're not here. Even when you close your eyes, we just stop."
Donna found her heart breaking all over again. She kissed Ella's head shakily. "Well," she said, wiping at her eyes, "Mummy promises to never closer her eyes again–" Her voice broke when she realized that the two had disappeared right before her. "No," she breathed, rising to her feet. Within seconds, her voice had risen to a scream. "No!" Donna dissolved into broken wails and sobs, collapsing on the empty bed where Ella had rested, and mourned the loss of two children that had never really truly existed.
"Auto-destruct in fifteen minutes."
"This is like back when we were on that ship heading for the sun," grumbled Jay, adjusting the Doctor's coat so that it didn't fall so oddly on her. She fixed the collar at her neck and glanced up at the data core of the planet, her eyes narrowing. Four thousand plus souls resided there, and they needed to figure out how to get them out before the plan imploded – or whatever it would do in fifteen minutes.
"This way," the Doctor called, seeking a computer that could be used to get access to the core computer. He found one, and tapped at a keyboard, eyeing the core computer with wariness. "I can't wake it up, but I'm trying."
"Help me. Please, help me."
The sobbing voice drew her attention as River scanned the area with her sonic screwdriver, startled by the findings she came up with. "You'd think it was dreaming," she murmured.
"It is dreaming," said Lux, removing his helmet. He hurled it away, not caring what happened regarding his own status now. He guided them over to a cabinet, where he found a lever hidden behind some books. He pulled it and a door opened. "Of a normal life, and a lovely dad, and of every book ever written."
"Help me. Please, help me."
Jay didn't bother to wait for the rest of them. She bolted into the next room. She'd never been one for ignoring crying children, and this was no different. She ignored the call River gave of her name. "Oh, my God," she whispered when she tripped to a halt before an informational device that bore a child's face. The girl was crying without tears, her face filled with misery as she begged for help.
"It's the little girl. The girl we saw on the computer," Anita realized.
"She's not in the computer. In a way, she is the computer." Lux was staring at her, too – fondly at that. "The main command node. This is CAL."
"CAL is a child!" the Doctor cried, raking his hands through his hair and tugging at the strands in frustration. "A child hooked up to a mainframe – why didn't you tell me this?! I needed to know this!"
Jay found anger bubbling up in her gut. A child, hooked up to a mainframe?! Who could do such a thing? But Lux silenced that anger rather quickly. "Because she's family!" he nearly roared, silencing them all. He stepped up to the device, touching the cheek of the girl gently. "CAL…Charlotte Abigail Lux, my grandfather's youngest daughter. She was dying, so he built her a library and put her living mind inside, with a moon to watch over her and all of human history to pass the time. Any era to live in, any book to read. She loved books more than anything, and he gave her them all. He only asked that she be left in peace. A secret, not a freak show."
"It wasn't a patent or your pride you were protecting," Jay said softly, touching the paper still folded in her pocket. "You were protecting Charlotte."
"This is only half a life, of course, but it's forever," Lux said softly, sorrowful.
"And then…the shadows came," said the Doctor just as quietly, his gaze scanning Charlotte's.
"The shadows," whispered Charlotte, voice broken by her loneliness and fear. "I have to – I have to save. Have to save."
"She saved them. She saved everyone in the Library," the Doctor finished quietly. "Folded them into her dreams and kept them safe." His eyes widened a fraction. "She's forgotten though. She couldn't tell us because she's forgotten. She's got over four thousand minds chatting away inside her head. It must be like...well, being me, I suppose," he admitted, eyes widening as an idea formed.
"So…what do we do?" River questioned, looking ready to tear off and do whatever needed done.
"Auto-destruct in ten minutes."
"Easy!" The Doctor grinned and bolted back in the direction we come. They all scampered after him, and the Doctor didn't hesitate to dive to his knees and start fidgeting with wires of every kind, ripping into what he needed. "We beam all the people out of the data core; the computer will reset and stop the countdown. Difficult. Charlotte doesn't have enough memory space left to make the transfer. So…" He narrowed his eyes, grinning. "I'll hook myself up to the computer and she can borrow my memory space!"
Jay's mind blanked at that thought. "But…but Doctor," she said, and he stopped long enough to meet her gaze. "Wouldn't that kill you?"
River stopped dead to glare at him. "It'll burn up both your hearts," she realized aloud, and Jay's face paled at the thought. "And don't think you'll regenerate!"
"I'll try my hardest not to die. Honestly, it's my main thing," he retorted with a hint of sarcasm, then planted his sonic screwdriver between his teeth to grab something else. When he'd freed his mouth again, he ignored the attitude River was giving him in favor of snapping, "If I'm right, this'll work. Shut up! Now, listen. River, you and Luxy Boy. Back up to the main library. Prime any data cells you can find for maximum download, and before you say anything else, Professor…can I mention, as you're here, shut up."
She glowered at him and then turned and then rounded on Lux, indicating he should do as he was told. "I hate you sometimes!" she shouted, heading for the door.
"I know!" he yelled back, rolling his eyes.
"Mr. Lux, with me. Anita, Jay, if he dies – I'll kill him!"
And then, River was gone. Anita turned her attention onto the Doctor as he beckoned the quiet Jay to him. "What about the Vashta Nerada?"
He ignored Anita for a moment. "Jay," the Doctor said firmly, and she glanced at him, tears burning in her eyes. She wasn't sure if they were from rage, or fear, or something else. He smiled crookedly at her, reassuring. She could tell he had meant what he said about trying not to die – but still! Why couldn't he let one of them do it? "Hold these wires, would you? There's too many of them, and I only have so many hands."
She did as she was told, taking the wires he indicated. She knelt beside him, focusing on the task even as dread filled her when Anita demanded a little more harshly, "What about the Vashta Nerada?"
The Doctor clenched his jaw, ripping another wire out and pressing the tip of his sonic screwdriver to it. "These are their forests! I'm going to seal Charlotte inside her little world, and take everybody else away. The shadows can swarm to their hearts' content."
"You think they're just gonna let us go?"
He ripped a particularly big wire out and shoved it into Jay's hands. "Best offer they're gonna get."
"You're gonna make them an offer?"
"And they'd better take it, 'cause right now, I'm finding it very hard to make any kind of offer at all." The Doctor threw down one wire and glared viciously up at the suit hovering above them. Jay faltered, looking up at him questioningly. She followed his gaze and flinched when he suddenly aimed his sonic screwdriver at Anita's visor, revealing the skeleton that resided within. "Because you know what?" he nearly snarled. "I really liked Anita. She was brave, even when she was crying, and she never gave in – and you ate her. But I'm going to let that pass as long as you let them pass."
"How long has she been gone, Doctor?" Jay asked quietly, feeling horrible about the fact that she'd not noticed sooner. She hated when she missed such things.
"Not long," he whispered back so only she heard. "Just since we got down here. I counted the shadows," he told "Anita," "and you only have one now. She's nearly gone now. Be kind." He said it nearly pleadingly, begging the creatures to be benevolent.
"These are our forests. We are not kind."
"I'm giving you back your forests, but you are giving me them. You are letting them go," the Doctor said warningly, rising to his feet. Jay watched the nervously, remaining where she was – until shadows began to extend in various directions from the Vashta Nerada. Then, she jumped to her feet, moving closer to the Doctor as the Vashta Nerada claimed their forests, that those within were their prey.
"Don't play games with me," barked the Doctor. "You just killed someone I liked. That's not a safe place to stand." He lifted his chin proudly, daring the Vashta Nerada to try anything.
Jay watched those shadows creep closer and closer, and on a whim, found herself sliding between them and the Doctor. Her eyes burned as she glared at the skeletal remains of Anita. Anita had been brave when they'd infected her shadow, and Jay would ensure that her death wasn't in vain. "Don't touch him," she breathed, proud when those shadows paused, faltering at her presence. It unnerved her. Probably as much as they feared her, she feared them.
"Jay," hissed the Doctor in disapproval, but she didn't budge, even as her knees quaked.
"You're in a library," said Jay, continuing. She ignored the hand that grabbed her shoulder, trying to nudge her aside, even yanked free of it. She glared at the Vashta Nerada, letting herself sink into the pins and needles like she'd never done before. She wondered what someone else would have seen had they looked upon her face in that moment. "Look up what happens to those like you in moments like these, when you threaten innocent lives in the presence of the Doctor."
It was pushing it, perhaps. Somewhat hurtful to the Time Lord, who hated that death occurred everywhere he went. But it certainly worked. The Vashta Nerada retreated with care, not willing to go up against her challenge. "You have one day," the shadows warned, and then the suit collapsed, and they were gone.
"Jayden," hissed the Doctor a second time, this time using her full name.
She rounded on him in response. "It worked, didn't it?"
"Anita!" a voice called behind her, and Jay glanced back to find that River had returned, her gaze locked on Anita's suit in horror.
The Doctor threw Jay a final glare before focusing back on the situation at hand. He turned back on the wires, telling River over his shoulder, "I'm sorry. She's been dead a while now. I told you to go!"
"Lux can manage without me, but you can't," River said firmly. She made her way over to them, her eyes blazing with determination. "Jay," she said as the Doctor glanced over once more, bewildered.
"Hm?" Jay turned to look at her head on and then yelped in confused alarm when she was nearly thrown to the floor by the crack of a slap. She stumbled back hard and wheezed for air, staring at the ceiling of the Library in shock. The Doctor, naturally, whipped around to ensure she was okay, mouth already open to yell at River.
She simply decked him in the jaw, knocking him out in one blow.
"Doctor!" cried Jay, holding her cheek as she scrambled to her hands and knees and crawled over to the unconscious Time Lord. "River, what the hell are you doing?!" She knelt over him, checking on him anxiously. When River didn't answer, Jay looked up and found her standing over the pair with a guilty look on her face.
"Help me move him, or I'm going to have to drag him," River said bluntly. Jay spluttered, no more understanding than she'd been moments before. Jay didn't move, glaring up at her.
"What are you doing?" Jay demanded angrily as she prepared herself to push River back. She had no doubts that the other woman was stronger than she was. But she could sure as hell do her best until the Doctor came to, and knowing him, it wouldn't take very long.
"Auto-destruct in six minutes."
River's eyes burned as she stared Jay down. "I'll knock you out, too, if I need to, Jay."
Jay set her jaw stubbornly, even as she moved aside. She'd not help, but she'd not stop her. So, River did just that, hauling the Doctor to a space nearby. She knelt beside him, gesturing Jay over. With stiff movements, Jay clambered to her feet and walked over. "Why are you handcuffing him to the wall, River?" she demanded, even as she knelt beside the Doctor, checking to make sure he was okay. River pointed at something, and she bent to look.
River ignored the question, instead winding the handcuffs through. She snagged Jay's hand before Jay could think about moving away and clasped the other half around her wrist. Jay squawked, immediately uncomfortable and unnerved by the idea of being stuck in such a situation when she knew for a fact that the world was likely to go up in smoke any minute.
"River," Jay snapped, yanking at the cuffs in discomfort. She stopped when she realized that the Doctor was already beginning to stir; the last thing she wanted to do was bother him with the handcuffs, half of which were attached to him.
Ignoring her still, River went to work. Jay could only stare in horrified realization.
River was going to do the very thing the Doctor had planned to do.
She was going to become the memory space Charlotte needed in order to free all of those people saved to the hard drive.
Jay clenched her jaw and went to work, furiously trying to free herself. She didn't like being trapped, she realized quickly. She'd been trapped so many times since she'd come to join the Doctor, between the Master and the creature who'd poisoned her and such. She didn't like it at all. It meant nothing good.
"You know," River said suddenly as she worked, not looking up as she dragged a series of cables over to a nearby chair. She seated herself there and continued working, not looking up as she used her sonic screwdriver, the buzzing flooding Jay's ears. "I heard it – saw it. What happened with the Vashta Nerada. I saw how they feared you…and I could tell you why. I shouldn't, but I could."
Jay felt her stomach twist in fear, the very idea of simply knowing what was wrong with her so lovely yet terrifying. "Why don't you?" she challenged in a shaking voice, searching the pockets of the Doctor's coat in the hopes that she'd come up with something to help her. She paused when she found the psychic paper and what could have been – yes, that was indeed a full-blown banana she'd retrieved from her pocket. What the hell?
"Ah, spoilers," she chuckled in a shaking voice. "Other things must happen, or things would be different. For you, for me, for the Doctor, and I can't…I won't let that change."
"Auto-destruct in two minutes," reported the systems as she planted something she'd crafted on her head, her eyes full of agony. Jay looked over when the Doctor groaned quietly and began to stir. She fought the urge to prompt him awake faster than necessary. She knew it wasn't pleasant when you'd been knocked out.
But she couldn't help herself. Gently, she nudged him with her knee. Slowly, his dazed attention shifted to her, and she pointedly yanked at her own handcuffed hand to get him to realize what was happening. It worked, and within moments, the Doctor was shoving himself upright, somewhat dazed. River had certainly hit him hard.
He took one look at River and glowered, though the look was somewhat ruined by his disheveled appearance. He ripped at the handcuffs just once, but stopped immediately when Jay yelped, the action tugging at her painfully numb wrist. "No, no, no," he shouted, clambering to his knees to glare at River further. "What are you doing? That's my job!"
"What, I'm not allowed to have a career, I suppose?" River teased faintly.
He tugged at the handcuffs again, this time gentler to avoid hurting Jay. "Why am I…why are we handcuffed? Why do you even have handcuffs?"
This time, River laughed and sang, "Spoilers."
"This is not a joke," the Doctor snapped. "Stop this now. This is going to kill you – I'll have a chance; you don't have any!"
River lost her smile and continued working, ignoring his pleading. Jay, silent, let her gaze dart between them nervously. She felt that this wasn't her place to speak, even as she kept searching her pockets for something useful. "You wouldn't have a chance," said River firmly, "and neither do I. I'm timing it for the end of the countdown, Doctor. There'll be a blip in the command flow, which should improve our chances of a clean download.
"Funny thing is," she continued as the Doctor stared balefully at her. "This means you two have always known how I was going to die. All the time we've been together…you knew I was coming here. The last time I saw you…the real you, the future ones…well, that was on separate occasions, I suppose. Doctor, you turned up on my doorstep with a new haircut, and a suit. You took me to Darillium to see the Singing Towers. Oh, what a night that was. The towers sang…and you cried."
"Auto-destruct in one minute."
"And Jay…the last time I saw you, you couldn't stop. You cried and cried." River smiled ruefully. "You just couldn't stop. It was just like at the Byzantium. You wouldn't say why, but you simply kept crying. I suppose you knew it was my time. Time to come to the Library. You even gave me your sonic, Doctor, which should have been a clue."
Jay's gaze, bleared with tears that were quickly forming, shifted to the sonic screwdrivers that had been left just out of reach. They were resting neatly on River's filled diary. If she stretched her leg out just right, she realized, she could reach them. Jay slowly stretched her leg out, catching the edge of the diary with her toes–
"There's nothing you can do," finished River.
"Let me do this," begged the Doctor.
"If you die here, it'll mean I've never met you."
"Time can be rewritten–"
"Not those times," River barked, glaring at him with a viciousness that silenced them both. Tears trickled down her cheeks now as she settled in, finished with preparations. "Not one line, Doctor, don't you dare. It's okay," she added, softening. "It's not over for you. You'll see me again. You've got all that to come. You and Jay and me…time and space. You watch us run."
"River," he rasped, voice cracking, "you know my name."
Jay froze, snapping her head around to stare at him. What? She couldn't believe what she'd just heard. It wasn't something she'd ever really, truly thought about. Sure, the Doctor's title couldn't be his name. He went by fake names – mostly John Smith. But it had never really been something she'd wondered all that much about. But to hear that someone knew what it was…
Jay would be the first to admit she was somewhat envious.
The computer began counting down, marking seconds starting at ten.
"You whispered my name in my ear," the Doctor continued, "and I…there's only one reason I would ever tell someone my name–"
"Hush now," River said, another tear falling down her cheek. A final smile crept over her face. "Spoilers."
"One."
River slammed the cables together and Jay threw her hands up to protect her eyes, blinded by the flash that erupted from where River was seated. When the light faded, she reluctantly lowered her hands, shaking. Her lips parted as she stared at where River had been. Her heart broke and the tears that had gathered began to fall when she found that very little remained. It had broken her body beyond saving. All that remained were tatters of blackened cloth.
"D-Doctor?" stammered Jay, glancing at him. Her voice was hoarse with grief. She didn't know River well, but it hurt to know that the woman was gone. He was staring at where she'd been with grief, too, pained by the loss though neither of them truly understood it all.
Jay wasn't entirely sure how long it was before the Doctor turned his attention elsewhere. "Can you reach it?" he muttered, too tired to be kind. She blinked when he gestured to the diary she'd been trying to get before things had gone so badly. She nodded quietly and stretched out to drag it closer again. When it was within reach, she stretched awkwardly with her free hand. She winced, a spasm of pain racing up her arm when she stretched a little too far. But she grabbed it, nonetheless, and carefully swept up the sonic screwdrivers.
She handed the Doctor his, and then eyed River's with hesitance. Would it be wrong to use it? No, she decided. River would have wanted her to. She faltered before asking, "Point and think?" Her voice cracked.
"Point and think," he confirmed.
She did just that, carefully pressing the button, and replicating what the Doctor did to free herself from the handcuff. The Doctor was a lot quicker, of course, but Jay was proud of herself as he gathered River's diary. Jay rose to her feet, holding River's sonic carefully, and rubbed her wrist.
"I'm sorry," she croaked after a moment, refusing to look at where River had died. "I didn't try to stop her." Guilt crept through her. "I didn't know what to do."
He studied her for a moment. And then the Doctor looked back to where River had once sat. "Come on," was all he said, his voice gentle enough to reassure her. The tears spilled and she took the hand he offered gratefully, clasping it tightly in hers as together, they made their way towards the gravity platform, intent on finding Donna.
"Please be patient. Only three can teleport at a time. Do not state your intended destination until you arrive in our designated starliner."
Jay quietly listened to the person speaking over the intercom with a hint of sympathy for those that were leaving. One hundred years had passed; anyone these people had known were long dead, or incredibly old. They'd have one hell of a time adjusting to life after CAL.
Sighing softly, she leaned into the Doctor. The pair were waiting for Donna to come back. Having found her – and hearing her side of things – they'd agreed to wait and let her see if she could find someone she'd met in the dream world she'd lived in. Jay could tell there was something extra to what had happened there, but Donna refused to talk about it, so Jay wouldn't push her.
"Alright?" the Doctor murmured quietly.
"No," she truthfully said. "You?"
Rather than answering her, the Doctor straightened, nudging Jay. Donna was coming back, looking saddened and alone. "Any luck?" he said despite the answer they both knew would come.
"Wasn't even anyone called Lee in the Library that day," sighed Donna, rubbing an arm mournfully. "Suppose he could have had a different name out here, but let's be honest – he wasn't real, was he?"
"Maybe not," admitted the Doctor.
"I made up the perfect man – gorgeous, adores me, and hardly ever speaks a word. What's that say about me?" bemoaned Donna.
"Everything," the Doctor mused without much thought, and Jay snorted in exhausted amusement. She elbowed him pointedly as Donna glared at him, offended. He jolted back to the present and hastily tried to correct himself. "Sorry, did I say 'everything?' I meant to say 'nothing.' I was aiming for 'nothing.' I accidentally said 'everything.'"
"Uh-huh," muttered Jay sarcastically, and he shot her a hint of a playful glare.
Donna studied them for a couple of seconds and asked softly, "What about you? You alright?"
Jay shrugged, her face faltering. As she'd told the Doctor, she wasn't. Something about River's death…it rubbed her the wrong way in every way, shape, and form. She shouldn't have died – she was far too important to them to die in such a way. Donna immediately drew her in for a hug, looking at the Doctor pointedly as Jay clutched her, burying her face in Donna's shoulder.
"I'm always alright," the Doctor lied.
"Is 'alright' special Time Lord code for 'really not alright at all?'" Donna asked softly, resting her head against Jay's as she tried to hug Jay tighter. "Because I'm alright, too, then."
The Doctor studied his two friends with sad fondness, and when Donna finally released Jay, he offered a hand to Donna. "Come on," he said softly, and she took it. Together, they started forward with Jay a step behind them. She pushed her hands into the pockets of the Doctor's coat as they walked, removing the diary that was held there – and the sonic screwdriver, too. She debated asking him if she could keep it in River's honor, but decided otherwise. While useful…it was a part of their future, wasn't it?
They found their way away from most others and stopped at the massive balcony they'd visited in their first moments in the Library. It was beautiful, with people hurrying to leave the planet. Some were teleporting, but others were walking and rushing to get from one point to another. Within the day, Jay supposed the world would be empty again – forever.
"Jay," the Doctor said, holding his hand out, and she gave him the diary, letting him rest it gently on the balcony. He kept this hand there for a moment, and Donna studied that blue diary for a long moment before speaking.
"Your friend, Doctor…Professor Song. She knew you in the future, and Jay, but she didn't know me. What happens to me? Because…when she heard my name, the way she looked at me…" Fear crossed Donna's face, and Jay nearly swept her into another hug, deciding then and there she'd not let anything happen to Donna Noble if she could help it.
"Donna, this is her diary," the Doctor said, eyes locked on said diary. "My future. Our future." He glanced at Jay with interest, wondering just what he and Jay got up to in the future if she was around for such apparently important things. "I could look you up, Donna. What do you think? Shall we peek at the end?"
He wouldn't, but Donna got the point. "Spoilers," she said with a hint of a smile. "Right?"
He nodded. "Right," said the Doctor, and Jay gently placed the sonic screwdriver that had once belonged to River Song on top of the diary. The Doctor's gaze lingered on it for a moment, a puzzled expression suddenly crossing his face. After a moment, Donna cleared her throat pointedly, and he began to mutter aloud.
"Why?" he demanded aloud, grabbing the sonic screwdriver. He turned it over in his hands, confused. "Why would I give her my screwdriver? Why would I do that? Thing is, Future Me had years to think about it, all those years to think of a way to save her. What he did was give her a sonic screwdriver – why would I do…that…?" He trailed off as he found a small switch. He pressed it, and a grin shot across his features when it slid open to reveal none other than a gently blinking neural relay. Jay gasped when she looked over his shoulder and saw it, eyes lighting with excitement. "I'm good – very good!" He laughed, already walking backwards. He turned and ran without further explanation.
"What…where's he going?!" demanded Donna, stunned.
Jay only clapped her hands together, tears rolling down her cheeks. "She was saved, just like you," she laughed, pushing at the tears on her cheeks. She turned to Donna and took her hand, squeezing it happily. Gone was the grief and guilt. River would live on thanks to CAL, and things would be right. River would survive and forever at that.
"Come on, Donna," Jay said as they started walking. "Time to go home." She could practically hear the TARDIS calling for them.
And when the Doctor came to find them later, she knew simply by the look on his face that he'd opened those beautiful blue, wooden doors with a snap of his fingers – just as River had told them was possible.
Jay meandered through the TARDIS, seeking the infirmary with a heavy frown on her face. She winced when the expression drew a twinge of pain. River packed one hell of a punch; her face had bruised where River had slapped her, and she needed something to help with the swelling, if not the pain. She listened happily to the TARDIS's song as she walked, not minding that it was taking longer than usual to find the room she sought.
When she did, she ducked into the infirmary and immediately reached for the nearest cabinet. As usual, the TARDIS had supplied what she needed. She pocketed the small container, murmured a quiet thanks aloud, and began heading for the control room. She wanted to see if Donna, who'd not been in her room, was there. Maybe she'd help Jay apply the salve.
Donna wasn't, much to Jay's disappointment, but the Doctor was. And he was frowning at the screen attached to the console as she cleared her throat, making sure he knew she was there as she picked her way across. He'd been digging for something; the control room was a mess, with grates and items strewn everywhere. "Doctor?" she asked as she stopped beside him, peering at the screen curiously. "What are you looking at?"
She could tell by the look on his face he debated lying to her, or not telling her at all. She was relieved when he instead merely swung the screen so she could see better. She couldn't read the screen at all; it was all circular writing that he'd told her previously was Gallifreyan. She looked up at him for an explanation, stroking the console fondly.
She was amused just briefly to see that he, too, had a bruise on his jaw from where River had struck him.
"I was looking at new scans the TARDIS took," he admitted. "Of you."
Jay turned her attention back on the screen. "Of me? What'd you find?"
"Nothing new." The Doctor was annoyed by that. Very annoyed. He leaned against the console, running his hands through his hair with a scowl. "But something's changed. I don't know what it is, the TARDIS can't figure it out. But there's something that's changed." He tapped the screen gently, indicating one symbol that Jay couldn't read. "This. Something in your neurotransmitters."
Jay looked at the screen, puzzled. "Do you think the poison is...I don't know, changing me?"
His gaze snapped back to her, widening. "Mutating? You think there's a chance you could be mutating?"
"I don't know. Maybe?" Jay shrugged, not excited by the idea. "I don't know how that works, but it's a possibility, right?"
The Doctor nodded thoughtfully and then shoved the screen away when it went black, deciding he was done looking at scans. "There's been no usual signs of mutation though. Remember Lazarus? We'd have seen something by now. It could also be your body trying to adjust to the poison, so you can survive it."
"That sounds much better than mutation." Jay flashed him a grin and then cleared her throat, removing the salve from her pocket. "Hey, Doctor, want some?" she asked slyly, smirking as she gestured to his jaw. He grumbled and plucked the salve from her fingers, eager to get rid of the bruise that he clearly found embarrassing. "She got you pretty good," mused Jay.
"Oi," he grumbled, pointing at her in warning as he handed the salve back. She took some for herself and rubbed it over the sore parts on her face, feeling relief within moments. She sighed in relief. "Now, go rest up, and then find a beach with Donna. Or..." He paused. "I've heard of this place, a planet I've never visited before, made of diamonds. They've got a big spa. Think she'd like that?"
Jay flashed him a bright grin. "I'll let her know we're going there," she said in answer. Donna would love that idea. "Just be ready to fight her off whens he comes storming in. She'll be ready to leave now, and I don't know about you...but as you pointed out, I need rest. I am exhausted." With a final smile, Jay turned and skipped away.
Thoughtfully, the Doctor watched her leave and contemplated whether or not he was convinced by the idea that she was mutating in response to the poison. Entirely possible, but...
He wasn't sure he liked it any more than the concept of her dying. Mutation changed people sometimes. New instincts and the likes.
The Doctor quite liked Jay as she was.
ANOTHER! I'm on a spree with this mess. I've been so excited for these last few chapters (and the next one!) that I'm going nonstop. Also, I've been on a binge in which I watched five seasons of Doctor Who in a week, so there's that, too. I'm not complaining. I'm getting to stuff I've been wanting to write forever. ;)
Thanks to the ever wonderful reviewer as per usual (bored411) and those who favorited and followed! I do hope you're all enjoying this as much as I am. :)