Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts. Also, for as fun as it is, don't do drugs, kids!

Warnings: This fiction contains and is not limited to boy/boy moments, the use and abuse of stereotypes, hints at original pairings, very despicable people, emo-Riku, lustful teenagers, underage drinking, a mix of the last two points, questionable situations, morally ambiguous choices and a few, occasional and really shy attempts at humor.

Chapter 23: Scarred Hearts

Riku and Roxas were sitting around a small table, a pizza cardboard lying half-empty on it.

A small brunet, sitting between the two of them, was talking calmly. "So, let me put this straight. No pun intended". Both Riku and Roxas couldn't help but roll their eyes. "Riku, you like guys."

The silver-haired boy looked away, slightly embarrassed, but said nothing.

"You like guys..." Sora continued. "...and, one year ago, you told Roxas that you were in love with him."

Once more, Riku nodded distractedly, trying his best to hide the flush on his face.

Sora then turned his attention towards the other boy. "And you, Roxas, when Riku opened his heart to you like an innocent, pure maid..." That sentence earned him another glare from the upperclassman. "Sorry, couldn't help myself... So, when Riku confessed to you... you said nothing and ran away."

"...pretty much." Roxas admitted, carefully avoiding looking at anything else but his feet.

Sora took the last slice of pizza left in the cardboard and asked the question that Roxas was clearly trying to avoid. "Why?"

Conscious that he couldn't dodge the subject anymore, the blond boy was left with no other choice but talk. "Okay, first of all, I just want to clarify something." That managed to catch Riku's attention. "I didn't run away because I... hated you or something like that." Another brief pause. "I was... scared, I guess..."

"Yeah, sure, I could've raped you." Riku blurted out, unable to restrain himself, still bitter about the whole situation. Sora elbowed him slightly.

"I was not scared of you." Roxas precised. "I was scared of... something else."

"Wow, you totally convinced me there." Another glare from Sora. Riku rolled his eyes and made the gesture of zipping his own mouth.

Roxas wasn't intentioned to say anything else. Unfortunately, it didn't look like Sora was willing to let him have it his way. "Man, Riku was honest with you. I think you owe him an explanation."

Shit, Sora was right: he couldn't deny Riku an explanation. But that would've also meant admitting that he was... confessing that he liked...

No, he couldn't do it, Roxas knew that. Go on and straight up admitting that he had been in love with his best friend would have meant taking the risk of ending up like Riku. What if the he would've outed him out of spite?

No, Riku wasn't that petty... probably.

But Sora? He knew little to nothing about him. Sure, he seemed nice, but trusting him would have meant handing his whole life to him...

And just at that precise moment, Sora's voice interrupted the flow of his thoughts. "Just to give you some incentive to talk..." he smiled viciously, a kind of unusual smile on his face. "If you don't start talking right now, I may accidentally let slip around that you kissed me yesterday."

Both Riku and Roxas looked at him, shocked. Roxas was the first one to recover. "You wouldn't... You can't do something like that!"

"Try me."

"Sora, that's too far!" Riku exclaimed, all of a sudden.

Roxas didn't like that. "I don't need you to defend me!"

"What? I didn't mean..."

"I can take care of myself!"

"I was just trying to..."

"Well, stop trying!"

Riku and Roxas spent a whole minute glaring at each other. That staring contest would have kept on going, if not for Sora's voice interrupting them once more. Much to their horror, both boys quickly realized that he was actually sneering. Even worse, it looked like he was starting to sing.

"Roxas and Riku, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G!"

They both blushed, turning their head away as quickly as they could. Once more, Roxas was the first one to react. "Sora! This is serious!"

"No, Roxas." Sora answered, immediately dropping the mocking façade. "What happened one year ago is serious. How Riku felt when you ran away is serious. And discussing your own feelings on all of this is definitely serious." He paused for a second. "Bickering like five years old just to avoid the subject is anything but serious."

Roxas closed his mouth, unable to reply to that. Sora was right: that was only a pathetic attempt to run away from the truth.

"Listen." he added a moment later. "If you prefer to, I could leave the two of you alone for a moment." He then smiled, gently this time. "And should I hear the sound of one of you trying to strangle the other, I'll be back in a second, alright?"

He was already halfway through the dining room when Roxas called him back.

"Stay." he simply said. And Sora obeyed.

Roxas took a deep breath before talking again, this time facing Riku. "That evening, one year ago... I was scared that you were trying to deceive me." he finally admitted. "Actually, that's not accurate, you could say that I was scared of... my own feelings."

"What do you mean?" Riku asked bluntly, probably expecting another half-assed excuse.

"When I was younger... there were certain times where I thought... I mean, maybe sometimes... Not always, but..."

Riku yawned. "Uh, maybe I should warn my parents that I won't be back for a couple of days."

Sora elbowed him before Roxas could use his attitude as another excuse to stop talking.

Roxas paused for a second, took a deep breath... and then he finally said what he had never told anyone but his family.

"I... may have had a couple of doubts about my sexual preferences."

Sora was the first one to react. "Which means that right now you have no more doubts, right?"

"Absolutely."

"Fascinating." Sora observed Roxas, studying him carefully. "I find incredible how you keep on hiding your thoughts behind such basic tricks like answering with adverbs who mean nothing on their own." He grinned. "Absolutely yes or absolutely not?"

Roxas didn't get the time to answer, though, because Riku was already starting to storm him with questions.

"Just wait a second! Does that mean what I think it means? You like guys?"

Roxas reacted vehemently to the accusation. "I never said that!"

"Well explain yourself then, because the way I see it, it looks that way!"

"I've got nothing to explain!" The volume of Roxas' voice was starting to get higher, just like its pitch. "I'm here of my own volition, I don't have to explain anything if I don't want to."

"Fuck off, Roxas! You can't drop a bomb like that and pretend people didn't hear it!"

"Well, excuse me for not wanting to end up like you!"

And that was it. In a split second, Riku punched Roxas in the face.

The blond boy didn't react -physically speaking-, but shot a glare at the other boy that could've killed him. "What the fuck, Riku? That hurt!"

"Curious: I was going to say the same!"

"You're just lucky that I don't like to resort to fighting."

"You're just lucky that I didn't hit you seriously."

Sora chose that moment to intervene, putting himself between the two boys. "Okay, okay. Someone needs to chill out."

"Thanks a lot, Sora. I thought you were supposed to prevent us from hitting each other." Roxas complained, massaging the offended cheek with his hand.

"Yes, I was but... You have to admit that you deserved it, Roxas." Once more, Sora grinned. "Now, before any of you hotheads go too far, I propose to take it down a notch."

Both boys looked at him suspiciously, wondering what he had in mind. They observed carefully as he reached for the kitchen, from where he emerged just a few seconds later carrying a small box full of home-made brownies.

"Here, take one each." he offered, as soon as he had taken back his place between them.

Both boys looked at him suspiciously. "And that's supposed to make us chill out?"

Sora smiled innocently. "Sometimes, all you need is a little bit of sweetness." Riku and Roxas looked at each other, but they both took one of the chocolate confections and gave it a bite. Sora did the same.

Less than an hour later, the general mood had made a 180° flip. The three boys were laying on the ground of the dining room, their backs against the big sofa. Why they weren't sitting on it instead, was beyond anyone's guess.

"Alright, alright, I got one. When was the first time you drank alcohol?"

At Sora's question, Riku frowned, trying to sort memories from his old life. It seemed like an eternity that he hadn't visited those thoughts.

Roxas seemed a lot more reactive. "That's an easy one. I was twelve and I sneaked into my uncle's basement with my cousin Ven. Needless to say, we were caught half-drunk, but only because my cousin puked on the doormat while we were on our way back."

"You beat me there, Roxas." Riku admitted nonchalantly. "I was fifteen and got dragged to a party by Seifer. I... don't remember much, actually, but the day after I woke up with only my pants on. It looked like I had started... ahem... kinda stripteasing before Axel and Saïx dragged me away."

Sora laughed. "That was great, too bad I don't have such interesting stories to tell: one evening, when I still lived in Radiant Garden, my friends and I found someone kind enough to buy us a couple of beers. The end."

"Bo-oring. How old were you?" Roxas yelled, in a way that was kind of out of character for him, Riku noticed.

"Quite young." Sora answered elusively. "Your turn, Riku."

"Wait, I want to know more about..."

"When was your first kiss?"

Riku blurted out those words cutting Roxas mid-sentence, out of sheer curiosity, no double meaning behind it. Sora was the first one to answer. "It wasn't all that romantic. I got selected at a round of spin the bottle and got kissed by a girl."

The answer didn't seem to satisfy Roxas. "Oh, come on, tell us more! How was she?"

Riku noticed that the blond boy was acting kind of funny. Nothing particularly strange, but it wasn't like him to be so... spontaneous, as to say.

"Riku? You there?"

"Oh? Uh, sure. So, who was talking, again?"

He felt surprised at his own words, what the hell was going on with him? He was feeling kind of dizzy, finding surprisingly difficult to focus on what was going on.

Roxas seemed to be in a similar state, spacing as he was while looking at an imprecise point behind him, just before bursting out laughing, without an apparent reason. "Stop that, Riku!"

The silver-haired boy was as lost as someone could be. That wasn't funny: why was Roxas laughing that way? "Stop what, Roxas?"

"You were looking at me and laughing."

And Riku couldn't help but start grinning. A second later, he was laughing his ass off, just like the other boy.

"See? It's your fault, you made me laugh."

"No, you made me laugh, you were laughing before me."

The two boys had troubles sorting out the words, as intent as they were laughing hysterically. Sora was looking at them, clearly amused, but still able to retain some self-control.

It needed a whole minute for the two of them to calm down... only to start laughing once more as soon as their gaze met again. Only this time, Sora joined them too.

Riku forced himself to get serious again... only to miserably fail a third time.

That was definitively weird. What was causing their sudden hilarity? A doubt crossed his mind...

"Sora... what did you put in those cookies?" Riku asked in all seriousness when the three of them finally managed to get serious again.

"Oh, just a little souvenir from Radiant Garden." Sora answered calmly. "Some kind of... spice, one could say."

All the color drained from Riku's face when realization hit him.

"You're a fucking stoner!"

And off Roxas went, starting laughing again. Sora smiled.

"That's not funny, Sora!" Riku faced the brunet, despite finding incredibly difficult to stay serious. "Tuesday you made me drunk, yesterday you did the same with Roxas and now this. You had no right to put that stuff in our food."

"I just wanted to help you two relax a little. I didn't think you'd end up eating all of them..."

"You could've warned us!"

"But then you wouldn't have eaten them!" Sora answered, like it was a perfectly rational explanation. "By the way..." he grabbed Roxas' arm forcing him to listen. "You didn't answer your own question, when was your first kiss?"

The thought of answering back crossed Riku's mind, but he was feeling a little too light-headed to face a serious conversation. He sighed, resigned. "It was with Kairi, she assaulted me at a club, alright? Just start laughing again."

"Nah, I'll wait until I've heard Roxas." Sora smirked, somehow managing to stay serious. He couldn't avoid stuttering a little, though.

Roxas, who had finally stopped laughing and was now playing with a little piece of fabric from his shirt looked at the two boys. "Who, me? It's a secret."

Sora started poking on his cheek affectionately. "Come oooon, Riku really wants to know."

The upperclassman didn't have enough willpower left to rectify that statement. That, and he was actually curious to hear the answer.

"Oh, ok then." he finally gave up, the stupidest smile plastered on his face. "But you have to promise not to tell anyone."

Both of them nodded silently.

"It was you, Sora."

A moment of silence, then Riku talked. "Wait, you mean that you've never kissed anyone until now?"

"Nope, I told you I kissed Sora!"

"That doesn't count!"

"Of course it counts!" Roxas seemed amused by the bickering. "Sora, tell him that it counts!"

Sora, who appeared to have been lost in his own thoughts, answered calmly without leaving his eyes from the ceiling he was staring at. "Of course it counts!"

'It does?' Riku thought. His mind was starting to run through the endless possibilities that that sentence could mean but, somehow, every time he reached the end of a reasoning, he realized that he had forgotten the beginning. He didn't know how much it stood there, overthinking stuffs, but it ended when Sora shook him slightly.

"Man, you're doing a paranoia trip! Seriously, I thought Roxas was more the kind of guy to do that. Just empty your mind and relax, alright? "

Riku found those few words surprisingly... relevant. He breathed deeply, slapped his face and looked at his friends. "Alright then. Who's next?"

"Sora's turn." Roxas stated quietly. He was now laying on the sofa, staring at the ceiling, and it looked like someone had suddenly turned off the power on him.

"Fine. What is the thing you've done that you regret the most?"

"So serious, man!" Riku answered. "Does meeting you count?"

"You're hurting my feeling." Sora retorted, unconvincingly.

"Alright then. I guess dating Kairi may be my choice then."

Surprisingly, at those words, Roxas seemed to snap out of his trance. "Was it really that bad?"

"It was fake." he quickly answered, and for once it was the absolute truth. "It felt really... I don't know how to say it... wrong?"

"Poor Riku, I guess girls really aren't your thing." Sora grinned, his eyes peacefully closed.

"What about you?" he retorted. "There's none you're interested in?"

"Keep it for the next question. Right now, I want to hear what Roxas regrets the most."

There was a brief pause, during which Roxas seemed really focused on his thoughts. Or maybe he had just fallen asleep, who knew.

"Leaving you alone."

None needed more details to understand what he meant with those three words. An embarrassed silence fell upon the three boys, broken only by the ticking sound of the wall clock in the room.

"There has not been a single day I haven't regretted it." Roxas continued, and Riku was glad that from his position he couldn't face him.

"Come on, Roxas, it wasn't a big deal, you just shattered my heart." he joked embarrassed, trying to lighten up the mood.

"I know you hate me and you have every reason for doing so. I am an awful person who preferred to leave you all by yourself instead of standing by your side. But still..." Another brief pause, during which Riku could hear him breathing. "I swear: I never outed you, I could've never done something like that! Because I..."

"Roxas, it's okay." Riku tried to interrupt. Vainly.

"Because I like guys too."

End Notes: Eh, I'm not sure how this chapter turned out, I wanted to have a little bit of fun with it, but in the end I think it turned too... I don't know... kind of disconnected, I guess. ...or maybe it's just a feeling that I have, because for as much as I rewrite a story, I can never be satisfied with the result... Eh, one out of two I guess...

Preview: Time for another visit to the arcade, but... hey, isn't that Riku's mom?

Next Chapter: The Light at the End of the Tunnel