It was indeed a horrible night.
Sasuke woke up several times during the night.
He was sweaty.
He was shaking.
He was in pain.
His mind was racing.
All Sakura could do was be there for him.
*24 hours since the last dose*
Neither Sakura nor Sasuke had been able to get much sleep. Sakura was able to take Sasuke to bed at about 4:30 in the morning. At this point withdrawal was evident. Sasuke was too dizzy to sit up and kept shaking violently.
"I can't do it" Sasuke was saying as he was shaking.
"Do what?" Sakura asked as she was accommodating him in bed.
"Testify" he struggled to say.
"I know is hard, but I know you can do it" Sakura reassured him while covering him with a blanket.
"No, I can't" he said while shutting his eyes closed and breathing heavily.
"Hey, hey, it's okay" she said "what is wrong?".
"Pain" he said sharply "nausea, I don't know".
"It's okay, breathe" she said calmly.
"No, I can't" he said desperately as he started hyperventilating.
"it's alright" she said "breath with me".
"My heart…." He said in between labored breaths "my heart…" he kept on repeating.
"It's okay, you are doing good" she said calmly "what do you feel?" she asked while putting her hand on his chest.
"My heart is beating really fast" he said rapidly "I feel sick, I am sick…I am going to be sick" he kept on repeating.
"If you need to be sick, that's alright. I am here" she said comforting him.
"I….I…" Sasuke tried to say something but he couldn't. All he could do was breathe rapidly.
"Okay, Sasuke, I need you to breathe with me" she said.
"I…I can't" he said in between breaths "I can't" he managed to yell.
"In" Sakura took a deep breath "Out" she exhaled.
"I can't" he yelled.
"In, out" she kept repeating ignoring him.
He took a short deep breath and went back to hyperventilating.
"Good, keep going" she reassured him.
He was still breathing very fast but was trying to mimic her breathing. Eventually, they were both breathing together. He held her hand and she used her other hand to model how to breathe. They kept on repeating the same thing for a while until Sasuke was calmer.
"You did good" Sakura whispered "why don't you try to rest while I make some breakfast?" she asked.
"I don't think I can, my head feels so heavy" he said quietly.
"Sleeping my help, why don't you give it a try?" she insisted.
"I'll try" he said still shaking a little.
Sakura helped him lay down and accommodated him on the pillow.
"tsk" he complained while closing his eyes abruptly.
"What is wrong?" she asked.
"Dizzy" he said while trying to recover his balance. He slowly opened his eyes and gave Sakura approval to go make breakfast.
Sakura left the room and made some breakfast. She opted for plain toast for Sasuke as his stomach may not handle something stronger.
Sakura took him breakfast but decided to leave when she saw him sleeping.
She gathered a pen and a piece of paper and began to write a letter. Once she was done, she took it to an ambu outside and gave him instructions on what to do with it.
*28 hours since the last dose*
Sakura went to check on Sasuke several times and he seemed to be in a restless sleep. The next she went to check he was awake. He was shaking violently, and his hair looked wet from how much he was sweating.
"Hey" Sakura said sitting on the bed.
Sasuke didn't respond. he kept on shaking in a corner.
"How do you feel?" Sakura asked gently patting his shoulder.
"I've been better" he said.
"It will be over soon" she answered.
Sasuke closed his eyes and took a deep breath.
"What happened?" she asked.
"cramp" he answered with his eyes still closed slowly opening his eyes as the pain slowly got better.
"Can interest you in some toast?" she offered.
"Not really" he said still shaking.
"It might help" she said.
Sakura's remarks were simply met with Sasuke's gag as he made his way to the corner of the bed. She quickly grabbed a waste basket and put it close to his mouth. He slowly and painfully threw up in the basket.
Sakura did her best to stay calm. As the hours passed, Sasuke kept on getting worse. His tremors were almost uncontrollable. He was very anxious and panicked almost every two to three hours. His nausea and abdominal pain were getting much worse as well as his dizziness and headaches.
*Judge's chambers*
"Your honor, the people's request is a disrespect to you and to us" the opposing counsel said to the judge.
"I agree, Katsumi you better have a good reason for this" the judge said.
"My client is extremely incapacitated at the moment and cannot testify" Katsumi said.
"You honor, as far as we know we are not even aware that they still have the witness in custody" the opposing counsel mentioned.
"We do, your clients just left him so beat up that the kid is unable to stand trial. Your honor, we request at least a week for the client to be able to testify" Katsumi said.
"Your honor, my clients deserve a speedy trial, and the people are just making excuses to buy time and try to come up with an excuse to accuse an honorable organization. This man is dangerous and should remain in custody"
"your honor..."Katsumi began.
"Enough, you have until 8:00 am tomorrow to produce the witness. Failure to do so will result in his immediate arrest" the judge finished.
*36 hours since the last dose*
Sasuke's condition continued to decline. What started as mild stomach cramps had evolved into almost unbearable spasms. He was in pain, exhausted, confused, anxious, and desperate.
Sakura was doing her best to comfort Sasuke and stay calm. She received an answer from Katsumi informing her of their new schedule change.
Sakura knew she should have felt relief, but she knew that Sasuke would not be able to stand trial in his condition.
She quietly made her way into his room. He was in bed but not sleeping. He was simply shaking and his eyes were lost in the distance.
"Hey" she said sitting on his bed and gently touching his shoulder.
"Hey" he said in between shivers.
"You are doing great" she said to which he didn't respond.
"I talked to Katsumi, you can stay tonight. You don't have to go to court until tomorrow" Sakura said softly.
"I can't do it" he said sharply.
"Yes, you can, besides, I'll be there with you" she reassured him.
"No, I can't do it" he repeated.
"You got this; I believe in you" she said with a soft smile.
"I don't know what to say" he said.
"Just tell them the truth" she finished.
"That's not enough" he answered.
"Yes, it is, just be yourself" she told him.
"And how has that worked for me?" he said sarcastically.
"Don't say that" she added.
"It's true, every time I do anything it just seems to be wrong" Sasuke said agitatedly.
"That is not true" she said.
"Just tell me what it is you want me to say, and I will" he yelled.
"Sasuke, I want you to do what you believe is best" she said calmly.
"How am I supposed to know that?" he continued to yell.
"You are a smart person; you will figure it out" she added.
"It is so easy for you to say that. Every time I do something that seems right to me, it's wrong. The more I believe I should do something, the worse it seems to be. I don't even know if I should be doing this at all" he complained.
"Sasuke, I can't tell you what to do. I just hope you make the best decision for yourself" she continued to say calmly.
"You don't get it, do you? There is all this pressure for me to do what is right, and I don't even know what is right. How am I supposed to know what to do if no one has ever taught me what is right? I haven't had anyone to teach me what is it I have to do. Everything I have ever believed seems to be so wrong and I just don't know what to believe anymore" Sasuke said becoming more agitated "and all I am doing is finding excuses to justify myself. I mean, look at Naruto, he didn't have anyone to tell him what to do yet he figured it out" he continued to yell.
"What is wrong with me?" Sasuke said as tears began to build in his eyes "seriously, what is wrong with me?" he continued as he began hyperventilating once more.
Sakura abruptly hugged him, and Sasuke just pressed hard against her body. At this point, he broke into an inconsolable cry.
"I…just want someone to tell me what is right" he said between sobs "please, tell me what to do, what to say, what to eat, what to wear, what to think" he continued to sob "I need to wake up and know that I am doing the right thing and that everything will be okay" he stopped to catch his breath "I beg you, just tell me what to do"
Sakura just hugged him really tight and began crying with him.
"I am so proud of you" was all Sakura managed to say.
Upon hearing this, Sasuke began crying even harder and more loudly while burring his head on her shoulder.
Sakura had never seen Sasuke so vulnerable. She knew that the withdrawal symptoms could include anxiety, panic, depression, and even suicidal thoughts. She knew that it was not all the withdrawal though, deep down she knew that Sasuke was truly confused. He had no guide. He was lost. Everyone always saw him as someone who could manage on his own or simply a threat that had no saving. He was capable of so much more…. So much goodness.
*44 hours since the last dose*
Sakura was sitting on the bed with Sasuke laying on her chest. She was gently playing with his hair trying to get him to relax and get some sleep. His eyes were closed but she knew he was not sleeping. She could feel him tensing up every time the pain traveled through his body. He was clenching his jaw and burring his nails into his chest in a desperate attempt to alleviate his pain.
"Sakura?" he whispered.
"Yes?" she responded.
"How many hours do we have left?" he asked.
"About six" she said quietly.
"I can't do it" he said.
"Sasuke, you will be fine" she reassured him.
"I can't do it like this" he added "I know a way I could be ready"
"What do you suggest?" Sakura asked.
"I could take some of the stuff they gave before" he said "it would buy us some time" he finished.
"I don't think that is a good idea" she replied.
"It is the only way" he confirmed.
"Sasuke, that is just going to prolong this hell more than it needs to" she said.
"I might be the only option we have" he said optimistically "do we have the stuff here?" he asked.
"We have a pill cabinet in the kitchen, but I doubt any of it is in there" she added "besides, I am not going to expose you to those substances anymore. I know it seems hard now, but you just have to pull through a few more days" she comforted him.
"Sakura, please, I can't go back to that place. I need to be myself for tomorrow" he begged.
"I can't" she said.
"Sakura, I am begging you, please" he begged again "I can't take it anymore"
"Sasuke, I know it is hard, but it will only be a few more days" she said "it only gets better from here"
"Sakura, please" he said shaking.
"I am sorry" she responded.
"It's alright" Sasuke said and immediately turned around and fell asleep.
Sakura was extremely surprised by how quickly he had calmed down and fallen asleep.
Sasuke was deeply sleeping and had stopped shaking. His expression didn't indicate any pain and he looked relaxed.
Sakura felt like something was off. At some point, she felt like things seemed too good. Nobody could go from being extremely sick to complexly healed in seconds. She began concentrating and trying to decipher what was happening when she heard a retching sound in the distance. She activated her chakra and broke out of Sasuke's genjutsu.
Sakura never suspected Sasuke would do something like that. He must have been really desperate.
She ran to the kitchen only to find Sasuke on the floor throwing up about 20 pills and many others just scattered over the floor.
"I am sorry, I didn't know which ones they were" he said apologetically
"Sasuke, oh gosh" she said surprised.
"I am sorry" he said "I really need this"
"Sasuke you could have died" she added.
"I'll die if I don't find them" he said desperately.
"Sasuke, go back to sleep, those are your vitamins" she added.
"Where are the real ones?" he asked dragging his body closer to hers.
"Go back to sleep" Sakura said firmly.
He dragged his body to her feet and began hugging them "Sakura, please. Just once"
Sakura looked up trying not to cry and simply ignored him.
"Sakura, please, I'll do whatever you want" he began to raise his voice to which she continued to ignore him as tears rolled down her eyes.
"Give it to me" he yelled "please" he said as he was screaming and drooling onto the floor.
At this point, she was visibly in distress, but she knew that giving in would not benefit Sasuke at all. He continued to yell for several minutes, and the begging became cursing and screaming in frustration.
After about two hours, Sakura grabbed him and took him back to bed. He continued to yell, and she simply sat outside the door while he kept on calling her name and begging.
She was heartbroken but she needed to be strong for his own good.
At around 6:45 am, he fell asleep. Sakura had not slept at all. She was worried he would try to get to the pills again. She made breakfast for him and went to wake him up.
She was genuinely worried about how Sasuke would react.
"Sasuke, wake up, you have to get ready" she gently shook his arm.
Sasuke simply opened his eyes and nodded. He did not seem mad, and his craving was finally under control. She managed to get him to eat some breakfast and after that helped him to the shower. He showered sitting down as he was in too much pain to stand up. He kept on coughing and was running a fever.
At 7:00 am, there was a cart outside waiting for them. They aborded the cart and left for the Konoha's courthouse. They were followed by Ambu ninjas and were wearing hoods for their protection.
The trip was extremely difficult, Sasuke was in a lot of abdominal pain and his nausea was really bad. Sakura did her best to ease his pain while he simply suffered in silence. He was shaking and clear liquid was coming out of his nose and eyes.
Once they arrived, they met Katsumi and were taken to a waiting area.
"Sasukeeee" Naruto yelled as he hugged Sasuke "go kick some butt" he finished.
Naruto was trying to make conversation to avoid the elephant in the room: Sasuke's condition.
Katsumi kept on talking about what he was supposed to say. Everyone was just talking while Sasuke was just sitting there trying not to faint.
"Is that understood?" Katsumi said to which Sasuke simply nodded although he had not really heard what she was saying.
"Hey" Sakura said ignoring Katsumi "You are running a bit of a temperature, so I am going to give you a shot that is going to get that under control, okay?" she said gently.
Sasuke simply nodded softly. Naruto kept on pacing back and forth. Sakura gave Sasuke an injection in his arm. He didn't even react, he seemed lost.
*52 hours since the last dose*
"Case 475643213, you are up"
They read documents and use some big words. Sasuke was sitting next to Katsumi and Naruto, Sakura, and Kakashi were sitting with the rest of the people watching the pre-trial.
"The people may call their witness" the judge said.
"Uchiha Sasuke please approach the stand" Katsumi said.
Sasuke very slowly got up. He limped to the stand stopping several times before he finally made it.
"Have you ever been tortured?" Katsumi asked to which Sasuke affirmed.
"Did you collaborate with your interrogator?" Katsumi asked.
"Yes" he said quietly
"Yet they continued to torture you, is that correct?" Katsumi said.
Sasuke simply nodded.
"No further questions" Katsumi said "your witness"
The opposing counsel approached Sasuke.
"Is it true that you engaged in criminal activity before your arrest?" the man asked.
"Yes" Sasuke responded.
"How many people have you killed? 10? 20? 100?" the lawyer asked.
"I don't know" Sasuke said.
"Objection, relevance?" Katsumi shouted.
"Sustained" the judge said "get to the point" she finished.
"Do you believe you deserved to be tortured?" the man asked.
"Yes" Sasuke said.
"Objection, leading" Katsumi said.
"What exactly was done to you?" the man asked.
"I was tortured" Sasuke responded.
"Give me details" the man asked "what did they do to you that was illegal"
"I don't remember" Sasuke said.
"You don't remember? Were you beaten? Electrocuted? Perhaps, raped?" the man continued to ask.
"I don't know" Sasuke said becoming agitated.
Sakura signaled Sasuke to breathe from her seat in an attempt to calm him down.
"What did they do to you?" the man raised his voice.
"I can't remember" Sasuke raised his voice
"Objection, he is badgering the witness" Katsume said.
"What happened to you?" the man yelled.
"Son, answer the question" the judge said.
"I don't know" Sasuke yelled holding his head.
"You know what, I believe you are faking this. The limping, the lethargy, the sudden amnesia….it's all a lie" the opposing counsel said "this is a macabre plan to defame a prestigious organization" the man finished.
"You honor, this is disrespectful" Katsumi said.
"Save it" the judge said "Son if you don't give us an answer, I am going to have to dismiss your case"
"I can't remember" Sasuke said becoming very agitated and pressing his head very hard.
"Your honor, I would like to start a motion to dismiss the case" the opposing counsel said.
"In that case, I will have to…." The judge began saying when she was interrupted by Sasuke's head suddenly hitting the stand.
"Sasuke?" Katsumi said trying to lift his head.
Suddenly, Sasuke began shaking violently.
"He is faking, son this is not going to get you anywhere" the opposing counsel said in disbelief.
When Katsumi lifted his head, Sasuke's face had lost all its color and his lips were very pale.
"Oh gosh, help him" the judge said.
Sakura and Naruto jumped from their seat and ran to Sasuke.
Sakura moved Sasuke onto the floor and moved him onto his side.
"You can't fake that, can you?" Katsumi said.
"Sasuke, I am here" Sakura whispered to him.
There was no peace but fear.