"Oi Mom, whats up?" Shinichi wasn't sure how Kuroba treated his mom, so went with a neutral greeting and halfway bored expression. Kuroba struck him as the kind of person who would be easily bored. He was grateful for the dim lighting in the room and the low resolution camera in the old laptop that decreased the odds of Chikage-san noticing anything imperfections in his disguise. As long as he was careful, this could be his best opportunity to extract the information he wanted about Kid.
"Just calling to wish you luck tonight honey!" Kid's mother beamed over the video call. Shinichi discreetly checked his watch and wondered at Kid's mother's strange timing. The heist was supposed to start in about 20 minutes. Did she not know that her son always left early to prepare his tricks? Or maybe she just expected him to answer anyway? She did seem a bit eccentric, which he supposed was to be expected for the former Phantom Lady, so maybe she just did things according to her own timing.
Shinichi couldn't risk looking down at Haibara without being suspicious, since she had carefully positioned herself far out of view of the camera, but he made a gesture under the table for her to start recording and hoped that she got the meaning.
"Ha! You don't need luck when you're as good as me!" he replied with his best imitation of Kid's smirk.
"Oh? But isn't that little detective you're so fond of going to be there today?" She chuckled, hiding her mouth behind her hand. "I don't want you to come home complaining about soccer ball shaped bruises all week again!"
Shinichi was very proud of himself for hiding the self-congratulatory smirk he felt at hearing that. "Ah don't worry about him, I can personally guarantee you that he won't capture me tonight!" He smiled broadly at the little inside joke and felt like he could sense Haibara's eye roll from several feet away.
"Oh I'm not worried about that, dear! I know he can't do more than kick things at you-" Shinichi barely suppressed a huff of indignation "-but I do worry about your judgement when he's around. I don't want you to get injured or worse just because you want to show off for your favorite detective~"
"M- Mom! Sheesh, who do you think I am? And what do you think we are? He's just one of many many problems I have to deal with, I barely even know the guy!"
"Of course, of course, how could I forget?" She giggled for a moment then turned serious and said, "Ah, speaking of problems, the other reason I called was to make sure that you've had your bulletproof vest repaired like I asked you to."
"Of course I did," Shinichi answered on reflex, before the words could sink in. Bulletproof vest? Seriously? What gives? Why would Kid need a bulletproof vest? The Japanese police never shot at him, and most of Advisor Jirokichi's traps weren't that dangerous. So maybe it was just protection from his own explosive pranks?
"Good. Make sure you wear it tonight. I know you complain about it restricting your movement, but you promised me that you wouldn't hold another heist without it after that last incident."
"I know I know, Mom! I'm not a little kid you know," Shinichi was feeling a bit out of depth, his head spinning with this new information. He hadn't seen a bulletproof vest in the secret room and hoped that meant Kid had indeed taken it with him. But why would he even have one? What 'incident'? And how could Shinichi fish for information about it without giving himself away?
He quickly ran through a few possibilities in his head before settling on a question that he hoped was vague enough for Chikage to interpret however she expected. "But do you really think they will be at the heist tonight?"
"Who knows? Snake himself might not be, but they do usually send snipers to your heists, don't they? I wouldn't be surprised if they're always there and simply stay hidden sometimes. But of course, drawing them out was part of the reason you took up the mantle in the first place, dear, so it's hardly surprising."
"Well yeah, but…" he looked away a moment, floundering for a decent answer, and decided on a change of subject. "I guess I'm just feeling discouraged Mom. I mean, I don't seem to be getting anywhere with the way I'm doing things now, you know?"
Chikage chuckled dryly, and Shinichi thought he saw a heavy sadness cross her face for an instant before it cleared. Apparently the Poker Face ran in the family. "That's not surprising either. Finding a mythical jewel and taking down an entire criminal syndicate is a daunting task, to say the least. You were the one who decided to take it all on yourself when you found out about… well, I understand why you want to catch the people who did that to your father, and I'm proud of you, but please don't feel like you have to continue if it gets to be too much. You can always take a break if you need to, and of course your safety is the most important thing to me."
"…I… uh, yeah… I mean, uh, thank you…" Shinichi was reeling. A mythical gem? A criminal syndicate? Toichi's death was not an accident and snipers were after Kid? It was too much to process, but he had to continue while he had the chance and leave the understanding part for later.
"Don't get the wrong idea Mom, I'm not about to quit or anything-" he really couldn't imagine Kaitou Kid ever giving up on anything, so he assumed that was true "-it's just that I was just wondering if maybe I should try to change tactics a bit? For example, what if I—"
"Oh no no, please don't start this again! You cannot ask the little detective to team up with you. It's absolutely out of the question."
"Well why not? He's the best detective there is, possibly even in the whole world, and he's helped me out a few times before! We actually make a really good team, believe it or not."
"We've been over this, dear. He only cooperates with you under very special circumstances. How do you think he would treat you if he didn't need your help in that exact moment?" she snapped, then sighed wearily. "Kaito honey, you are a criminal and he is a detective. He works with police officers. He's famous for being your rival. What do you think is going to happen? If he finds out your identity, he'll arrest you without a second's hesitation! And if you give him enough information that he could help investigate the murder and the syndicate, he would have enough information to investigate you as well."
"I… I don't think he'll arrest me, Mom! I think if I explained everything to him, he'd understand—"
"The answer is no, Kaito! I've already told you, you can't trust your own judgment about the boy because it's too clouded with your own emotions. That's why Jii-chan and I both have to keep warning you about it every time. You must not trust him."
Shinichi slumped in the chair and let out a long angry breath. It was weird, and stressful, feeling insulted and defensive about accusations that he entirely agreed with. He did want to arrest criminals! He would be offended if anyone suggested otherwise. So why was he so offended by this criminal suggesting he wanted to arrest criminals?
"I know it's hard for you, honey," she continued more softly, misinterpreting his troubled expression. "I've felt that way before too and I know how tempting it is to want to throw caution to the wind and share your secrets with somebody. There's nothing wrong with your feelings. I got very lucky that it worked out for me, but this is different. And think about this as well: your entire story hinges on Pandora, a magical gem containing another gem that glows red in the moonlight and cries tears of immortality under a comet. It's what the organization wanted your father to steal, and what he was killed for, and what you and the organization are currently competing to find. So you would have to tell him about it if you wanted his help, but how do you think he would react? Would he ever believe you?"
"…no. No, I guess he wouldn't."
"There, you see? It's not safe and he wouldn't be able to help you anyway. I'm sorry dear, I really am. But you don't have to be so sad about it! At least you can still continue to see him and enjoy chasing each other at your heists, right?"
"Ah, speaking of the heist—" Shinichi made a show of checking the clock, seeing an excuse to end the conversation. "Gotta go - catch you later Mom!"
"Have fun Kaito~" she said, blowing a kiss, and he ended the call. Then he finally glanced down at Haibara, who ended the audio recording she'd been running on her phone. He sighed deeply, slouching down in the chair and running a hand through his hair.
"How fortunate. You're lucky that she didn't see through your facade. At any rate, I hope this has changed your mind about trying to go talk to Jii-san?" she asked him after a moment.
"Obviously."
"Then may I assume the investigation is complete and we can go home now?"
"Oi oi, have some patience. I'm still surprised by… everything. I need a moment to think."
"Hmm. I'll be waiting in the Professor's car. Please join us when you're done sulking."
"Sure sure."
"And don't forget to return the house key to Nakamori-chan."
"Right."
—
Even after several minutes of sitting in the silent still bedroom, Shinichi's mind still felt like war zone. Competing thoughts raged back and forth followed by long bouts of nothing where he simply felt numb. What was he supposed to make of all this? Would he still be able to think about arresting Kid now? Was there anything he could or should do with all this new information?
It was no use, he thought, shaking his head and standing up with a sigh. It was going to take days or weeks to come to terms with everything, not minutes. So he quickly pressed the house key into the mold they'd brought to copy it, then turned off the lights and left the house without a trace to go return the key.
"Come in!" Aoko called out when he rang the bell repeatedly. So he opened the door and toed off his shoes, hoping it wouldn't be obvious that he didn't know the layout of the house. But fortunately the flickering light from the first room on the right made it obvious that Aoko was watching tv in there.
"You're just in time," she informed him happily as he entered, and patted the sofa next to her. "The heist is about to start!"
Oh right, the heist. He'd been so overwhelmed that he'd almost forgotten. He sat down and realized belatedly that he was inadvertently giving Kuroba a perfect alibi to the inspector's daughter. Oh well, he'd worry about that later.
"Oh that's odd, I don't see the Kid Killer there today. Doesn't he usually come when Suzuki-san is there?"
"Maybe he caught a cold?" Shinichi suggested.
"Yeah maybe…" she shrugged, eyes glued to the screen.
They waited in silence for a moment, until Kid made his dramatic entrance and began his show. Shinichi was surprised to hear a faint gasp from Aoko. "Hey Aoko, are you secretly a Kid fan?" he asked incredulously.
"What? Of course not! How could anyone like that arrogant thief! Criminals shouldn't have fans in the first place!" she exploded
He laughed lightly and turned back to face the tv, but after a moment she added in low mutter, "Well, maybe it is kinda cool when he pulls impossible moves… but only because that'll make it all the more impressive when my dad finally catches him!"
Shinichi laughed again and agreed with her, which earned him a warm smile.
After a few moments of watching together, a question that had been circling Shinichi's mind and gripping him with an urgent desperation suddenly made it past his lips before he could even try to stop it.
"Aoko, am I a good person?"
"Eh? What? Why would you ask something like that bakaito?"
"Because, ahoko," he said, mentally patting himself on the back for enough cyber-stalking to know about their silly nicknames for each other, "somebody told me that I'm not. An acquaintance, I mean. They said I was just arrogant and disrespectful and that I cause more problems than I solve. But they barely know me, and you know me really well, right? So what do you think?"
Aoko stared at him blankly for a moment, tv forgotten in the background. Finally she said solemnly, "You must really like this person if you're this concerned what they think of you, huh?"
"…well? What's your answer, Aoko?"
"Hmm… let me think. Well, it is pretty true that you're arrogant and not very respectful, but I don't think you cause a lot of problems. Your pranks are annoying but harmless, and class is always less fun when you're not there. But Aoko knows that you're a good person. We've been friends for a long time, after all. And I know how hard it was to lose your dad, even if you never talk about it. Everyone loved him, including me, and I miss him too you know," she said the last part softly. He shifted uncomfortably, trying to decide if he should comfort her, when she continued, "but you've never been bitter about it, and you're still always so cheerful and I think that's amazing. You make everyone around you happier too. Especially when you're doing your magic shows, and trying to make people smile! You're really good with kids and animals and even if you like to annoy people, you would never actually hurt anyone and you always try to help when you can. You're kind, generous, thoughtful, and try to do the right things. I'd say that makes you a good person, Kaito."
"Thank you, Aoko," he answered with sincerity, feeling a sense of peace wash over him.
The peace only lasted half a second though, because Aoko added, as an afterthought, "I just wish you would stop flipping my skirt, then you'd be completely a good person."
"Fl-flipping your skirt?" Shinichi stammered, absolutely appalled and blushing bright red.
"Oh please, it's not like I'm asking you to give up chocolate, it's not that big a deal! I just really hate starting my mornings with you pulling some trick then posting the color of my panties on social media!"
"PO-Posting on - I -no!" he remembered just in time that he was supposed to be in disguise as a guy who apparently flipped ladies' skirts and posted the color online (so that's what those posts were about?) and that he therefore shouldn't be acting so surprised to find out about it. So he cut off the rest of his indignant denials and tried to take a few breaths to calm down.
"And also please stop peeking in girl's locker rooms and trying to sneak into the female sections of hot springs! And just being perverted in general, really."
Shinichi almost chocked on his tongue. A few more deep breaths and he managed to grit out, "You are so right Aoko, I really really really need to stop doing those things."
"Hmph, no need to be so angry about it! You're the one who asked anyway!"
Shinichi just nodded, and they took a moment to sit silently and watch the task force chase after Kid on the live broadcast.
"Hey Kaito?" Aoko broke the silence with a tentative sincere tone. "As long as we're being honest like this, can I ask you a question?"
"Hmm? What's up?" He had a bad feeling about this, but couldn't very well get out of it without breaking cover at this point. (He also had to appreciate the tragic irony that Aoko was having a rare moment of "being honest" with her best friend to a total stranger in disguise while the real one was busy running around being an internationally wanted criminal on the other side of the city.)
"Are you ever going to ask me out?"
"Eh? I - uh, I can't answer that right now!" He felt the blush returning in full force. This was not good - he had to escape before he ended up unintentionally messing with Kid's real life relationships.
"I know you used to like me, Kaito. I'm not stupid, I know what red roses mean. But lately… well, this last year you've only given me blue or yellow roses instead of red. That means you no longer see me that way, right?"
"I… uh, I…" Shinichi hated this. Absolutely hated this. Feelings were hard enough to deal with when they were his own, and now he was supposed to be expressing somebody else's deep heartfelt emotions? Sure, it was obvious in this case; someone like Kid was brilliant and intentional in everything he did. If he had switched from red to yellow roses, that was as clear as a verbal declaration of "I don't love you anymore" when it came from him. But that did not mean that Shinichi was going to be the one to say it for him, disguise or no!
"It's ok, Kaito! Really. To be perfectly honest, I've started to… well, it's already been long enough, and I actually have a small crush on someone else by now, but I wasn't going to say anything to him because I thought… heh, it sounds kinda silly now that I'm saying it for real, but I thought you were sort of, like, 'first in line' you know, and that I was supposed to wait for you to say something first!" Aoko gave a self-deprecating nervous laugh, and the atmosphere suddenly felt a lot lighter. "It's silly, isn't it? What sort of a couple would we have been anyway? This is the first non-violent conversation we've had in years and we basically just insult each other all the time instead of talking normally, right? Oh, but I don't mean it like that - I still love you as my brother, you know, and we'll always be like family of course, and don't you forget it! But… well, now that we've cleared it up, you wouldn't mind if I started dating, right?"
"Of course, Aoko! I just want you to be happy, as always. You are practically my sister, after all," Shinichi said with all the relief and warmth that he really was feeling. "Besides, if this boy you like doesn't treat you well, someone has to be there for you to teach him a lesson, right?" The fact that he could imagine Kuroba saying something like that made him briefly second guess whether it had been the right thing to say after all, but he pushed the thought aside. Mostly he was so so so glad the conversation had moved into easier territory, and he was impressed with how well Aoko knew her friend, even when it was only someone impersonating him. Kuroba really had some good friends.
"Oh good! I mean, thank you! I mean, don't go too hard on him with your pranks, ok? I'd beat you up if you scared him away from me!"
"Understood!"
She gave him a warm genuine expression, but just as Shinichi started to hope that they were done with all the feelings talk, she continued, "So… will you introduce me to her someday?"
"Huh? To whom?"
"The person you're in love with now, of course! Don't think I don't know you well enough to see that you've fallen for some unlucky girl!"
Well, Shinichi certainly didn't know Kuroba well enough for that. In fact, until about sixty seconds ago, he would've assumed it was Aoko. Who else was Kuroba close to? Who else did he even know? "Ah haha, might be best to forget about that, Aoko. It's one-sided, and I'm sure nothing is ever going to come of it." That seemed like a pretty safe lie that would excuse him from having to give her a name.
She eyed him critically for a minute, started "Ok is it…", then closed her eyes, took a deep breath, braced herself, opened her eyes, and blurted out "Is it Kid?"
He stared at her. Blinked. Blinked again. Then snorted violently and bent over, the sounds coming from him moving past the realm of laugher and into strangled wheezing.
It was several minutes before he was able to calm down enough to breath and try to clear his lightheadedness, and he looked up to see that Aoko had been enjoying herself and laughing heartily as well.
"I knew it!" she gasped out in between residual laughs. "I knew it, I knew it, I totally knew it! The way you're always defending him and talking him up and singing his praises! How excited you get every single time there's a heist! The way you read every single bit of news related to him! And that dreamy far-off look you sometimes have for days after he appears, it's unmistakable!"
Shinichi opened his mouth to correct her. He was going to correct her, he really was. Because while Kuroba was certainly a little bit insane, not even he was insane enough to be secretly pining for a person that was literally just himself in a costume. It would surely lead to untold embarrassment if that's what his best friend thought. But then… a brief reflection on all the many pranks that Kid had pulled on him over the course of their acquaintanceship, and all the frustration he'd ever felt when the smug jerk would pull some dirty trick and pretend that it counted as "outsmarting" him… and so Shinichi closed his mouth and smiled shyly at Aoko.
"Promise you won't tell anyone?"
"Your secret is safe with me! But can I just ask… why Kid? What do you like about him?"
This was the funniest thing Shinichi had done in years, possibly ever. He so wished Kid knew what he was doing right now.
"Hot!" he answered with the first thing that came to mind, and gave himself a quick mental high-five for his method acting skills that were apparently better than he thought. "He's hot! Totally hot! Like, really really hot. And smart and cool! And…" he tilted his head back, trying to brainstorm how to maximize the embarrassment to Kuroba, then said with a grin so wide it hurt, "and he's totally a better magician than me! Actually, to tell you the truth, the real reason I practice my magic tricks so much is because I secretly want to impress Kid and get him to notice me!"
At that, both of them broke down into helpless giggles for a few more minutes.
"Hey, I've got to go home now, I promised I'd call my mom tonight," he lied as soon as he could catch his breath. Kid shouldn't arrive here for a little while still even if he took his glider the entire way, but he didn't want to cut it close. "Thanks for talking to me tonight Aoko, but, if you don't mind, all of this was really embarrassing for me, so…"
"Pretend it never happened, got it!"
"You're the best!" Wow, Kuroba really had some good friends. He hoped Kuroba would hold on to Aoko. And stop flipping her skirt.
"Good night then, bakaito!"
"'Night, ahoko!"
He was halfway out the door before he remembered to turn around and actually return the house key to her.