Notes: Once again, my beta reader Hebiaczek deserves soooo much love for suffering through the first version of this chapter so that you all don't have to! 👏👏👏❤️❤️❤️ Now I get to pretend that I'm just naturally brilliant and came up with all of this effortlessly on the first try without any help, and nobody else has to know exactly how many emails and how much patience was required to help me understand basic concepts. 😅😁😄
Now, Chapter 3 was a little while ago, so as a refresher, Aoko is currently under the impression that Kaito has a crush on Kid. Keep that in mind during their conversation, or else things might get a little confusing. 😏😆
Three heists! For three heists in a row now, Tantei-kun had entirely failed to show up. After that conversation in the park, they had not seen each other once.
Clearly the detective had decided not to actively attempt to arrest him, as evidenced by the conspicuous lack of sleeping darts in Kid's back. There was probably a silver lining in there somewhere.
Kaito was not a huge fan of silver linings. Linings were not nearly silver enough for him. The whole cloud should be silver, then it should explode into silver, rain silver, and then turn into diamonds for an extra dose of amazingness. Point being, Kaito had strong opinions about what should be happening here, and this wasn't it. All he wanted was to be chased around, have a battle of wits, exchange some clever banter, maybe dodge a soccer ball or two. Was that really so much to ask?
Two of those three heists had been challenges from old man Jirokichi. Conan should have been there. He was not. Each time, Kaito had scoured the news for any mention of cases that might've kept him away, and found nothing. He'd sent some spy doves to check up on him after the heists to confirm that he was alright. Which he was. So he should have come to the heists.
It's not like they'd never gone a month without seeing each other before, though it was a little unusual. No, what bothered him was that it seemed intentional: Tantei-kun was deliberately not coming, i.e. avoiding him, i.e. Kaito might never get to put on another show for his favorite critic.
Was it because of that incident with the paintballs? Tantei-kun had looked genuinely disappointed in him for not being able to dodge them. Which was grossly unfair, Kaito thought bitterly, because who could be expected to dodge perfectly hidden motion-tracking heat-seeking bullet-like projectiles? Maybe it was all some sort of test that he'd failed, and now the little detective had decided it wasn't enough of a challenge and lost interest in chasing him? Ouch, right to the ego.
Or perhaps it was due to the moral dilemma Tantei-kun had been struggling with? Maybe he still hadn't made up his mind, or maybe he had decided not to arrest Kid but felt disgusted with himself for it. Now there was an unpleasant idea. Once again, Kid's existence was hurting the people around Kaito, and he could do nothing about it.
At least with Aoko, it had been his own choice to give her up, and he could still maintain their friendship afterward. This time, he'd known from the beginning that a relationship would never be possible. So, technically, it really shouldn't hurt this much. But it did. Perhaps because now Kaito was the one being rejected, because he wasn't fast enough to dodge bullets or morally upright enough to satisfy a detective. He wished (yet again) that he could just tell the guy everything, explain his reasons for being Kid, justify himself, and earn some respect back... but he couldn't. Even if he went back to talk to him in disguise again, or sent a letter, what could he say without exposing his identity (or his feelings)? Nothing. It sucked.
The secret was safe. His mother and Jii-chan would surely both be thrilled. Yay.
Kaito finally realized he hadn't been paying any attention at all to whatever garbage was on the TV, so he switched it off and leaned back on his couch with a long pathetic sigh.
"Bakaito!" Aoko's voice interrupted his spiraling depressive thoughts as she invited herself into his house with a plate full of freshly baked cookies to share. "Don't you know that if you keep making sounds like that, then people will think there's a dying animal in here? And then they'll call animal control and come and take you away, and then Aoko will have to go to the pound and sign lots of papers in order to get you back before they put you down for being rabid!"
"Don't be ridiculous Ahoko!" he grinned with forced cheer and a well-practiced Poker Face. "Nobody would ever believe you're responsible enough to sign papers like that! They'd send you to a daycare center and then your dad would have to come pick both of us up."
"Hmph, Aoko was just worried about you because you didn't come to breakfast and you're just inside watching TV alone on a Saturday. Now tell me what's wrong!" she nagged him as she sat in the armchair and set the plate of cookies down on the coffee table between them.
"What makes you think there's anything wrong?" He smirked and raised his hands to show off some of his latest coin tricks.
She rolled her eyes at him, not at all distracted by the magic tricks that had definitely been intended to distract her. "Uh, because it's obvious? So are you going to admit it or do I have to drag it out of you?"
"I have no idea what—"
"You're upset because of the person you like, aren't you?"
He stopped mid-trick. The coin disappeared back into his sleeve and he slowly put his hands down. How did she know he liked someone?
"I thought so!" She smiled triumphantly at his stunned silence. "I knew something must've changed recently! That's why you stopped flipping my skirt, right? Because of something to do with him?"
"...yes."
Ok, what gives? As nice as it was that she had somehow come up with her own non-suspicious explanation for the skirt-flipping thing, how did she know he liked someone and how did she know it was a 'him'? Was he suddenly an open book? Was his Poker Face getting sloppy? He knew he had never looked at any other guy that way, so how had she noticed? Jii-chan only knew because Kaito had confided in him, and his mother only knew because Jii-chan apparently didn't know what being told 'in confidence' meant. So how did Aoko know?
She laughed at his guarded and confused expression. "Don't worry, Bakaito! Aoko will be really careful not to tell anyone about it, pinky promise!"
"Uh… good. Thanks. So how… I mean, when did you realize I was…?"
"I suspected for a while now, even before you confirmed it."
Ah, right, he had just confirmed it by his response, hadn't he? Wait, so that whole thing had been a guess and he'd just fallen for it that easily, like some silly grade school prank?! Ok, WOW. He mentally kicked himself for apparently being so off his game today, though it seemed Aoko was determined to see through him regardless.
Well, at least this wasn't critical information that would endanger anyone. And who knows? It might be nice to talk to his best friend a little. Neither Jii-chan nor his mother had been particularly sympathetic about this issue.
"So?" Aoko prompted him. "Did something happen between you two recently?"
Kaito sighed. Was it really ok to tell her? He was shocked at how much he wanted to, how overwhelming the desire was to just have somebody listen to him. Weeelll... as long as he was vague, just answering a few questions should be ok, right?
"Did you get to talk to him, maybe?" Aoko asked again, reaching over to poke his knee for good measure. "Tell me! Aoko wants to know all the details!"
"It's the opposite actually," Kaito corrected her on reflex before he could debate it with himself any further. "He recently stopped talking to me."
"What?" Aoko gasped, sounding far more surprised than was reasonable. "Wait, when did you talk to him before?"
"I met him at a Kid heist, believe it or not!" he replied. Kaito basically never went out or socialized unless Aoko dragged him somewhere, where she would know everybody present. Heists were the only exception. She usually stayed home while he always went out (for obvious reasons, but he often told her he was going to mingle with other Kid fans as spectators, which was a popular enough pastime these days to not sound unusual). So if he wanted to claim that he'd met someone without Aoko's knowledge, passing it off as a chance encounter in a heist crowd was his best bet. Plus, it had the advantage of being entirely true.
"Right, that makes sense!" Ah good, she didn't even question it. Excellent. But then she smiled way too happily and continued, "That's amazing that you got him to notice and talk to you, isn't it? I knew you could do it! I'm so happy for you!"
"Thanks...?" Sheesh, did Aoko really have such a low opinion of his charm as to imply that he ought to be grateful that some random stranger would see fit to talk to him? Ouch. "But didn't you hear the part about how he stopped talking to me?"
"Do you know his name?"
"No." Things would surely get awkward real fast if he told her about the supposedly dead high school detective Kudou Shinichi, or the apparent six year old Edogawa Conan. So no, he wasn't going to tell her a name.
"Can you contact him?"
"If I could, do you think I'd still be sitting here moping about it?" he answered with a huff, crossing his arms defensively.
"Well, did he tell you that he didn't want to talk anymore?"
"Not exactly…"
"So couldn't it just be a coincidence that you haven't seen him recently?" she asked, in a tone that very much implied that she thought she knew better than him.
He gave her a flat look, raising one eyebrow to show his skepticism. "I know when I'm being avoided, Aoko."
"But how?"
"We got into a routine of going to a certain place after the heists to meet up and talk. But the last few times, he hasn't come no matter how long I wait."
"Maybe he's just been busy?" she offered, still obnoxiously optimistic.
"B-busy?!" Not according to his spy doves! Besides, the guy was currently living as a six year old child — what could possibly keep him so 'busy' that he couldn't make it to a Kid heist?!
"Hmm, maybe there are some clues about why he didn't come those times. What do you know about him?"
"Well, let me think..." he hesitated again, wanting to be very careful what he said here to prevent her from guessing the identity of his anonymous crush. But as everything he knew about Tantei-kun came to the front of his mind, he found himself smiling against his will and the words started pouring out of their own accord.
"He's amazing," Kaito began. Ah great, and now he was blushing. Then again, he didn't have to hide it this time, did he? He continued with a soft smile. "He's brilliant, and witty, and passionate, and loves challenges and riddles and magic. He's actually a detective and—"
"A detective?!" Aoko gaped at him with disproportionate surprise.
"Oi oi, what's so shocking about that? You of all people shouldn't judge me for liking a detective! And I promise you, he's nothing at all like Hakuba!"
For some reason, Aoko seemed to find that hilarious, and it took a moment for her to regain her breath. "No, of course I'm not judging you. It's just really funny to compare him to Saguru, that's all."
What, just because Kaito liked one and hated the other? He really didn't get Aoko's sense of humor sometimes. He rolled his eyes to make sure she knew it too.
"Still, it is surprising," she muttered thoughtfully. "I wonder why he's doing all... that if he's actually a detective?"
"What do you mean?" he asked cautiously.
"I mean, what is he doing at heists?"
"Ah." Right, that would be confusing, he reminded himself. Why would there be a brilliant detective attending heists only to hang out in the crowd instead of going inside to help the police chase Kid? He quickly thought up another half-truth to cover it. "I don't know what he's up to. He's working on an undercover investigation right now."
"Well duh! Of course he's undercover!"
Oh. Right. He did say that he didn't even know the guy's name after multiple conversations, didn't he? Damn, Aoko was sharp today.
"But if he's an undercover detective, maybe he stopped meeting with you because he got a lead on a case or something? Sometimes Saguru doesn't pick up his phone for a while when he's investigating," Aoko suggested with a half-shrug.
"Yeah, or maybe I'm right and he really did decide to stop talking to me, like I've been trying to tell you."
"Bakaito! Are you just being dramatic or do you have an actual reason for believing that?" she asked, cocking her head judgmentally.
How dare she accuse him of being dramatic?! "Of course I have reasons, Ahoko! For one thing, last time I saw him, we played a game, and I lost badly!"
"And that's relevant because...?"
Ok, again, ouch. And seriously, what the hell, Aoko?! Did she really have such a low opinion of him or such a high opinion of this mystery guy she knew absolutely nothing about?
"Of course it's relevant!" he insisted, then sighed wearily and rubbed the bridge of his nose. "I mean, it sort of involved magic tricks, so I really should've done better. He was disappointed in me. He doesn't want to play anymore. And that's not the only thing either!" he added hastily, when he saw from her expression that she was about to tell him how unconvinced she was. "We also talked about some hard topics. You see, even though we're both Kid fans, he's sort of... a different 'kind' of fan, you know? We have some differences of opinion about... the law, and how 'good' Kid's methods are."
He was interrupted by another burst of amused laughter. "You really are an idiot, Bakaito! That goes without saying, doesn't it?"
Right. Because Kaito was a known Kid fan, and he had told her that this person was a detective, so of course it would be painfully and laughably obvious what each person's stance would be, and how different the two of them were.
"Well, anyway," he continued a bit gruffly, trying not to feel hurt at the reminder, "he was clearly upset with me for talking about it, but I just walked away and haven't seen him since. Still think I'm just being dramatic?"
"Hmm, I see. I guess it does make sense that he'd be upset. But that doesn't mean you should give up! I bet he likes you a lot if he already decided to talk to you multiple times! Just give him a little time to calm down, I'm sure he'll come talk to you again!"
"Unlikely..." he muttered, pouting.
"I bet he will! And when he does, you can show him all the new magic tricks you've been practicing! Maybe you can even invite him to one of your magic shows in the park!"
"Eh? No way would he come to one of my shows! Didn't I tell you that he was undercover?" Well, technically, they were both undercover, and it was Kaito's cover that was getting in the way here, but eh, details.
"I know that! But, well, maybe he can come in disguise?"
"What's this about? Aoko, are you trying to figure out a way to get to meet him?" he asked her suspiciously, with a mock serious tone. She blushed slightly in embarrassment at being caught so easily.
"But I have to meet him someday!" she said in defense. "I'm your best friend, and therefore it's my responsibility to interrogate him to see if he's good enough to be Kaito's boyfriend!"
"What?! Oh, no, no, Aoko, no. I'm not going to date him."
"Huh? Why not? Because of his undercover work?"
"No! Well, I guess that would be part of it..." he rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. It was partially true, he supposed. If there were nothing else in the way, then the fact that Tantei-kun currently looked like a small child would in fact have been a problem. But no, there was plenty else in the way, and he couldn't tell Aoko about any of it. So, how could he throw her off? Lie to her pretending he was going to pursue a relationship? Pretend that he'd been explicitly rejected? What other options did he have?
"Then why?" she pressed, thoroughly confused. "If you like him so much, and if you find out he likes you too, why wouldn't you date him?"
Kaito still said nothing, trying in vain to come up with a plausible excuse.
As he hesitated, frowning deeply at the magic coin that he'd begun fidgeting with again, she squinted at him, her eyes narrowing more and more as she grew suspicious of something.
"No..." she muttered, a shocking amount of anger in her indignant tone. "I don't believe it! It's because your mother won't let you, isn't it?!"
"...what?" he gasped. It felt like all the air had been knocked out of his lungs. How did she know that?! Was Aoko the blackmailer after all? Did she actually know that he was Kid and that his mother—
"That is it!" she exclaimed, his reaction apparently confirming it for her. "Aoko thought your mother was better than this! I never would've expected her to be against you dating a guy!"
Oh. Right. Of course. The other possible explanation. So Aoko probably wasn't the blackmailer and probably didn't know about his alter ego. What a relief! Now—
Wait.
Wait wait wait, no, no, she seriously thought that about his mom?! But that wasn't the case at all! He had to correct her and—
...
...actually. He didn't really have any other ideas to fall back on if he corrected her. And this was a surprisingly natural excuse that would be powerful and long lasting enough for what he needed. Sure, it wasn't exactly 'true,' but it also wasn't completely a lie either, since his mom really was the one preventing him from dating. Hmm. Ok, screw it, why not? It's not like she was ever in town long enough for it to matter what Aoko thought of her anyway.
"Yeah, pretty harsh, isn't it?" he agreed solemnly, lifting his hands up in a shrug to show his disappointment. "But, Aoko, I recognize that trouble-maker face you're making, and I need you to promise not to talk to her about it!"
"But—"
"Really! If you ever mention it, she'll just turn around and yell at me for telling you, so please just don't talk to her, ok?" That part was true, actually. Chikage probably would be upset with Kaito for this. If she ever found out. Which she wouldn't. Because his childhood friend recognized the sincerity in his tone and relented, slouching into the armchair in sad resignation.
"It's not right," she murmured quietly. "You can't just let someone else decide your whole life for you like that."
"She's my mother," he reminded her. "She's way more important to me than some guy."
"Maybe for one relationship, but what about after that? Are you really going to be single for the whole rest of your life just to make your mom happy with you?"
Kaito froze. He must've already known that, deep down. But he'd never allowed himself to consciously acknowledge it. The pain had been too great, first letting go of Aoko and now being rejected by Tantei-kun. He'd been forcing himself to take it one day at a time, not allowing himself to think about the future. Especially not the distant future. He hadn't actually realized... was that really what this meant? Alone... forever?
"Not... forever, only until..." he managed weakly. But even as he spoke, he knew it was just empty words. If he didn't meet another thief mid-heist like his lucky parents had, didn't date anyone he had to constantly lie to, and didn't tell anyone his secrets, then didn't that mean he was going to be alone indefinitely? Even if he decided to compromise his principles a little and date someone after he'd finished being Kid (thus only lying to them by omission), that would still require him to finish Kid's mission first. Which, realistically, was impossible to know when that would be. It could take years, or decades, or lifetimes. It could even end for him the same way it had for his father.
Maybe he hadn't completely thought this through before. Back on that rooftop when Jii-chan had first revealed the truth about Kid, Kaito thought about it for, what?, maybe twenty seconds tops?, before deciding that he would do everything all by himself, consequences be damned. Well, turns out there were maybe a few more consequences than he'd initially realized.
He'd considered the possibility of arrest or injury, the time and effort involved, and the morality of the choice... aaaand that was about it. At the time, he had no clue that his mom was the Phantom Lady or that she would become complicit with the knowledge of his activities. He didn't anticipate Jii-chan becoming his assistant and active partner in crime. He had no idea how massive and powerful the organization was, or how impossible the task of finding Pandora would be. And he certainly hadn't considered the possibility of never being able to date or get close to anyone ever for what may be the entire rest of his life.
But Kaito refused to regret it! He couldn't. He had a rule for himself about not regretting things, which he reminded himself about now. He'd already decided he would deal with this, and he would, and that was that! And if it cost him his whole life... well, that was just too bad.
Once again his thoughts drifted to Tantei-kun, the insanely competent super detective with a reputation of being able to solve any case he put his mind to. Kaito had asked for his help in Singapore, and just look at how much they were able to accomplish together back then! Not for the first (or fiftieth) time, he wished he could ask for help taking down these criminals too. Surely if they worked together, they could resolve this so much faster than he could ever hope for from working alone. But his mom was right. How could he explain anything about the organization without revealing what he knew about Pandora and his dad's murder? Which would be practically the same as telling him his identity. Which is why he promised not to recruit anyone else to help him.
Maybe that was part of why his feelings for Tantei-kun hurt so much. It seemed he represented everything Kaito longed for but was prevented from pursuing. Romance, friendship, companionship, assistance. And now even their simple relationship as rivals was slipping away from him? No wonder it hurt!
He sighed again and rubbed a tired hand through his hair, but this time instead of comparing him to a dying animal, Aoko sighed too.
"I won't talk to your mom," she told him softly, "but you should."
"I can't. I just... can't."
"Think about it at least?"
He scoffed. "Yeah, as if this would be easy to forget."
She shifted uncomfortably in the chair, looking about the room with grief-filled eyes. He managed a smile for her.
"Hey, thanks Aoko. I actually feel better now that I got to talk about it with somebody."
"Of course! Don't be shy if you want to talk about it again, ok?" she smiled back at him, grateful for a change of topic. She reached for a cookie, and startled when her hand met only air and crumbs on the plate.
"Hey, what happened to all the cookies?!"
"Magic~~" he said, wiggling his fingers at her.
"They were to share, you jerk!"
And thus commenced yet another impromptu game of dodgeball, and dodge-book, and just general dodge things-within-Aoko's-reach. She was really good at cheering him up!
—
Even days later, that horrible reality of indefinite loneliness kept echoing through his mind in an endless loop, and he still couldn't face the thought without a shudder. To avoid having to deal with it, he decided to distract himself with a heist. And not just any heist, but a proper one where Kid would face off against the Kid Killer! Kaito may have had to give up all his other hopes regarding Tantei-kun, but that didn't mean he had to let go of their rivalry that easily. He'd find a way to get the little detective to chase him again, even if he had to fill the boy's entire house with so many heist notices that it would take days to remove them all!
But, well, maybe he'd start with just one personalized heist notice.
So when he saw a rumor in a tabloid suggesting that Advisor Jirokichi might've looked at a pendant with some random too-small gem, he didn't wait for confirmation before writing out a notice for it. He set the date for that Saturday at 6pm so that no excuses about bedtimes or school nights could be made, then donned his postman disguise to deliver both the notice and the personalized embossed invitation directly to Conan's door.
Next Up: Conan attends a heist only to talk to Hakuba and Aoko then leave early. Hattori still can't get his name right, but what else is new?