Precipice by shadowsong26

Part 4: Commander

Commander: Chapter 15

It was well after local nightfall before Obi-Wan and Ahsoka got to the farm. The house, too, was mostly dark and quiet, but for a dim light flickering out of the kitchen window.

Good-that meant a decent chance nothing else had gone wrong in the past few hours. They were expected, at least; he had made contact with Beru shortly after leaving Dr. Naar's clinic, to confirm that Anakin and Rex had arrived safely, and she'd said she'd wait up.

He tapped twice on the door, and leaned a little against the wall while they waited for Beru to answer. Ahsoka, beside him, bounced a little on the balls of her feet.

"I like this place," she said after a moment. "It's...nice. Restful."

"A haven," he agreed softly. One he wished he could visit more often. And already, it was starting to work on him, letting him relax a little. Despite that lingering pulse of Anakin-is-hurting-Anakin-is-not-safe at the back of his mind.

But Anakin was close, at least, and not doing anything else he shouldn't at the moment; Obi-Wan could sense that much. And of all the places he'd run off to and foolish things he had done or tried to do when deciding to ignore reasonable medical restrictions, this was far from the worst.

Six years ago, as with so many other things, still held that particular title.

And then Beru came to the door, forestalling any further conversation or maudlin thoughts. "Oh, good," she said. "I was starting to get a little worried. Come in."

"Thank you," he said, and slipped inside, followed by Ahsoka. Once the door had shut behind them, he added, "Beru, this is Ahsoka Tano. Ahsoka, Anakin's sister-in-law, Beru."

"Nice to meet you," Ahsoka said, with a brief bow.

"You, too," Beru said, and smiled warmly. "Ani's told us a lot about you. Sit down, you both look exhausted." She busied herself about pouring milk for the three of them-quietly, so as not to wake the rest of the house-while Obi-Wan and Ahsoka found seats at the table.

"How is he?" Ahsoka asked, once Beru had joined them; her hands wrapped tight around her cup.

Beru sighed, and set her cup down. "Not great," she said frankly. "He's fever's been pretty steady, at least, since we got him out of the suns, but it's pretty high. And he's...hazy, having trouble staying focused. He's been really dizzy, too, and nauseous, I think, but he hasn't said anything specific about that. I know he's-he's in a lot of pain. I don't have anything strong enough to help much, but I've done what I can. For that and the fever, and everything else."

"Which has probably at least kept things from getting worse," Obi-Wan pointed out.

"Fair enough," she said. She picked up her cup again, fidgeting with it for a moment. "I tried to talk some sense into him, a few hours ago. When he was awake and a little less out of it. I think I managed to get through to him, at least enough for him to realize just how bad an idea coming here like this was."

"I'm guessing he's gonna hear that from all of us, over the next couple of days," Ahsoka said. "Enough repetition might get the point across."

'Might' being the operative word there, as Obi-Wan knew all too well.

"Hopefully," Beru said.

"Yes," he agreed, then set his glass down. "I should-he's in his usual room?" Not that he necessarily planned to start on that immediately -it depended on what he saw when he got in there-but...

"Yeah," she said. "Leia's in there with him. They were both asleep, last time I checked. About a half-hour ago."

Good. "Is Rex in there with them?"

She shook her head. "He was camped out outside the room most of the afternoon. Trying to give the two of them private time together, I think, but stay close just in case. I convinced him to go get some sleep himself a couple hours ago."

Obi-Wan and Ahsoka exchanged a look-not quite as seamless as it would have been if he and Anakin were silently deciding who went where, but fitting back together nicely just the same. Because one or both of them should talk to Rex, too; make sure he knew that no one blamed him for this mess.

"I'll go look in on him," Ahsoka said, after a beat. Obi-Wan gave her a brief, grateful smile, which she returned before glancing over at Beru. "If that's all right. See how he's holding up."

"Sure," Beru said. "I'll show you the way."

She nodded and smiled again, taking care to hide her pointier teeth. Which, as Obi-Wan remembered well, could be rather alarming when one wasn't used to them. "Thanks," she said, standing up and stretching.

Obi-Wan rose as well, and Beru followed suit.

"Through the door on the left," she told Ahsoka. "I'll be right behind you. Just want to finish cleaning up in here."

"Right." She headed that way.

Obi-Wan started in the other direction, but Beru put a hand on his wrist briefly.

"How are you holding up?" she asked softly. Before we forget to ask, echoed in her thoughts after.

He considered dodging the question for a moment-there were so many other things to worry about that took precedence-but Beru's hand was, while gentle, utterly unyielding; matched only by the determination in her eyes as they met his.

He sighed, and looked away. "It's...been a difficult couple of days," he said. "But…" He closed his eyes. Anakin's presence was muted but there; making it easier to shake off the nightmare scenarios he'd been pondering on the way here. And the ghosts of the Tantive, and Polis Massa, six years ago, when he hadn't even-in those first few hours, he'd barely even had that.

In this warm, lived-in kitchen, this haven, with all the love and kindness a family could build up over the years soaked into the very walls, it all seemed as far away as it ever did. Despite the dire circumstances, and the time of year.

"I'm all right," he finished. "In the moment, at least."

"All right," she said, and squeezed his hand briefly before heading off after Ahsoka.

He waited until she was gone, to give himself a moment to recenter and brace for what he might find, then headed through the other door and slipped noiselessly down the hall, straight for Anakin's room.

Just as Beru had said, Leia was fast asleep in a chair at the foot of the bed. Or she had been, anyway; she stirred a little when the door slid open, blinking blearily up at Obi-Wan.

He held a finger to his lips, and she glanced over at the bed and nodded, before uncurling enough to hold out her arms for a hug. Which, of course, he was more than happy to provide.

"Glad you're here," she mumbled, half-asleep again already.

"Me, too," he murmured back, then kissed the top of her head and let go. "Back to sleep now, little one."

She nodded and yawned, settling back into the chair. He smiled softly and pulled off his cloak to drape over her-more for emotional comfort than anything else. She snuggled into it and, moments later, was completely out.

He adjusted the fall of the cloak over her shoulder, then turned to check on her father.

Anakin was sleeping, too, if nowhere near as peaceful as Leia was; caught up in shallow, fitful fever-dreams. Perhaps not quite bad enough to be called true nightmares, but certainly unpleasant; the Force was unsettled around him in response to his distress. He was very pale, face pinched with pain even in sleep. His hands were twisted up in the blankets, and there was a faint sheen of sweat on his forehead.

Obi-Wan reached out and rested a hand on Anakin's forehead for a moment, frowning a little internally at how warm he was. True, he wasn't sure how high it had been before, and Beru had said it had been high but consistent, not spiking. Still, that was something Dr. Naar had specifically said to look out for.

So, better not to wake him just yet. Right now, he clearly needed the rest more than a lecture on his failure to consider the consequences of his actions, not to mention his utter lack of a sense of self-preservation. Oh, it would have to happen before they were actually on their way back to Dr. Naar, of course, but there were a few hours yet before they were to leave.

With that in mind, he closed his eyes briefly, sending what strength he could along their bond; to at least dampen the pain a little; ease the stress it put on Anakin's body and help him fight the infection off. Not quite a Force-backed suggestion to stay asleep, just making him a little less uncomfortable so he would sleep better on his own. And, while healing had never been Obi-Wan's greatest strength, it did seem to help somewhat; the pulsing waves of discomfort in the Force around them had quieted, though not entirely stilled.

It was a technique he could perform even when half-asleep or more, easing Anakin's physical pain or nightmares; one he'd unfortunately developed as well as he ever could back during the war.

He sighed faintly, withdrawing his hand, pulled another chair up to the side of the bed with a gesture, and sank into it.

Oh, Anakin, he thought. I wish this all wasn't so familiar. I wish you wouldn't...

He wasn't entirely sure how best to complete the thought; but, as if in some kind of response to it, the pattern to Anakin's breathing shifted, and his eyelids fluttered a little bit.

"M-master?" he said, a little hoarsely.

"Shh, shh, easy; it's all right," he said, putting a restraining hand on Anakin's shoulder before he could even think to try and get up. "Yes, I'm here. Go back to sleep."

"No, m'awake now," he said, his eyes opening all the way; a little glassy. He blinked a few times, then frowned. "What-what happened to your arm?"

Of course that would be the first thing he noticed; despite his own, far more serious injury. "Dislocated shoulder, that's all," he said. "Nothing to worry about. How are you feeling?"

Anakin didn't answer right away. After a moment, he sighed faintly and admitted, "I've-I've had better days."

"I can imagine," he said, then paused, and added, "You left the clinic." There was no sense in putting it off, since Anakin was awake anyway.

He nodded, and closed his eyes. "I-I know it wasn't...wasn't the brightest move I've ever made."

Well. That was-better, less defensive, than he'd expected. A pleasant surprise; Beru must have gotten through to Anakin after all.

"But I needed to."

Ah. Perhaps not. Still, this was a step or two better than usual.

Obi-Wan sighed. "You and I," he said, "have a very different idea of what constitutes necessity, my friend."

Because he would absolutely admit that there were times when medical advice and common sense had to be set aside, but those circumstances generally involved someone shooting at him or someone under his protection, or other actual, imminent danger. Such had been the case at Geonosis, the second time, which Anakin always brought up. Besides, Obi-Wan had been unable to evacuate and seek care, and had stayed put and done everything he feasibly could to avoid damaging himself further until the droids were on top of them and it was either that or get shot and killed anyway.

"I know. And...and yours is...but I just…" Anakin glanced over at Leia, then sighed and drew the blanket a little tighter around his shoulders. "I needed to. Even if-even if it was a bad idea."

"I know how important she is to you, Anakin," he said quietly. "And that-and that our mission keeps you away far more than either of you deserve. But you cannot do this again. Forgetting, for the moment, the fact that being so far away from appropriate medical care and supervision has substantially increased the risk of complications, let alone the impact of the ones you were already experiencing. And leaving aside the potential damage stopping and starting treatment like this could cause, and the fact you should have been resting, and not spending energy you badly needed for healing on-on flight instead…all of that aside, you could have-"

He broke off and closed his eyes, trying to think of which of the endless stream of nightmare scenarios he'd considered was least likely to send Anakin into a paralyzing spiral of guilt. He was, Obi-Wan believed, close to the edge of one as it was.

"What if you had-if one of the patches on the Waterfall had failed, or something else had gone wrong, and you'd ended up stranded?" he finally asked. What if you had gotten separated from Rex somehow, and collapsed along the way with no one to help you? "I don't know how long it would...it would take me to find you, if that happened."

"I'm sorry," Anakin said, after a long moment. "I didn't-didn't mean to make you worry like that." He was hunched over, curled in on himself, and trembling a little bit.

He sighed. "I know you didn't," he said. And yet.

But it was late, and Anakin was ill. Obi-Wan had made his point, or at least the beginnings of it.

"Will you at least promise me to behave until the doctor clears you? Which means listening to him and staying there, barring the clinic actually being attacked or similar immediate danger?"

Of course, that wouldn't solve the problem completely. And perhaps Obi-Wan was backing down sooner than he should, but-Anakin was alive, and at least stable, which was such a profound relief, in the wake of the heightened tension of the past few hours, that a part of him was inclined to just...be relieved, and didn't particularly want to push the point anymore.

Besides, he didn't want to wake Leia, which might well happen if they continued their discussion then and there.

"I'll be good," Anakin said. "Promise."

"All right." And, having secured that promise, he told himself that was enough for now. Especially since they were both tired and stressed; and while the dull ache in Obi-Wan's shoulder was nothing compared to the pain still leaking out from behind Anakin's shields...it would just become something far uglier than it needed to be. They could revisit the subject when Anakin was a little less drained, and when Obi-Wan had a little more confidence that the probable shouting match wouldn't stress his brother to the point where it might do actual damage, and impede his recovery even further.

Which was probably nothing but paranoia on his part, but between how much physical distress he was picking up from Anakin, and Dr. Naar's warnings, still fresh in the back of his mind, he would rather not take the risk.

"All right," Anakin echoed, and closed his eyes again. For a moment, they sat there in a somewhat drained but mostly-comfortable silence, Leia's quiet breathing from her corner the only sound in the room, then Anakin cleared his throat and asked, "When-when are we leaving?"

"In a few hours," he said. "Around first dawn." They couldn't approach the clinic until after its local dark anyway, and this was a safer place to wait out the extra hours outside of travel time. Besides, early morning, before it got too hot, was probably the best and safest time to move Anakin.

"Mm," he said. "We...we got the keys. Rex and me. Did I-did anyone mention that yet?"

The-oh, right. Obi-Wan had nearly forgotten the mission that Anakin and Rex had been on before Specter had-

"No, you hadn't," he said. "I'll pass them along." He paused, then added, "I've-reached out to Senator Organa already. We haven't spoken directly yet and I didn't give him too many details; I wanted to see you first."

Anakin blinked, confused for a moment, then drew in a quick, sharp breath as comprehension dawned. "...oh," he said, staring down at his right hand and flexing it slowly. "S'probably faster than me building one, I guess."

"Yes," he said. If only because maintaining his arm was entirely different from building a new leg from scratch, which would require much more detailed knowledge of how to smoothly and safely integrate the machine parts with organic neurons. As such interfaces were one of the few related areas where Anakin lacked the needed expertise, that process would probably involve a fair amount of experimentation and trial and error. Once they'd managed to source some of the more delicate, specialized parts, which would be potentially even more difficult than the entire thing. And a new prosthetic was not something Obi-Wan would be willing to risk improvised substitutions in, and he doubted Anakin would be, either.

True, in the long run, the end result of Anakin's invention might well be better, but in the meantime...at best, it would be a long and frustrating process, and Anakin would be sidelined-well, he would be sidelined as long as he needed to be to heal properly, regardless, but it would be longer, with a correspondingly greater loss of momentum and opportunities in their fight against the Empire.

At worst, he might actually hurt himself if one of his attempts went particularly wrong when he tried to attach it. Better to go through their friends on Coruscant, and try to get a prosthetic already expertly made.

And if Bail couldn't help them find one-Hondo might be an option, though Obi-Wan didn't entirely trust his sources. Dr. Naar hadn't appeared to have what they needed on hand, but maybe he knew reputable suppliers. Although, that might draw unwanted attention, to both the clinic and to Anakin himself, so perhaps not.

Well, Bail would most likely come through, anyway. They could make it work if not, but none of the alternatives were very good ones.

Anakin was quiet for a long moment, then said, "It's...it's really gone, isn't it." Like it had all come crashing down on him and finally felt real in that moment.

"Yes," he said again; because what else could he say? "I'm so sorry."

He drew in a deep, shaky breath, and held his trembling left hand a few inches over the stump for a moment, not quite touching, before letting it fall to one side and closing his eyes.

"I'm gonna run out eventually," he muttered.

"What?"

"Maybe-maybe before the Chancellor runs out of apprentices."

Obi-Wan's heart sank. Anakin sounded equal parts resigned, despairing, and worried; almost as if-as if that was one more way he might, as he saw it, fail in his duty; as if it were the price he had to pay. A required exchange, for…

"Oh, Anakin…" he said. "It-" It doesn't work like that, was what he meant to say.

Anakin's eyes snapped open. "Did-did I say that-I'm sorry," he blurted, before Obi-Wan could finish. "Sorry, don't-it's-forget I said anything."

"No, Anakin," he said gently, taking his hand. Partly to offer comfort, partly to take it himself; partly to monitor Anakin's too-rapid pulse a little more closely.

He flinched a little, curling in on himself again, but didn't pull away.

"Anakin, look at me, all right?" he said. "I can't-I can't promise something like that won't happen." Because, as much as the idea horrified him, there was an outside that Anakin would be...would be seriously injured by the next apprentice. Not to mention the far greater danger when they finally faced Palpatine himself. "But I find it highly unlikely. You are strong and wise and remarkably skilled, and two incidents, no matter how profound, are not enough to make a pattern. Certainly not one set in stone. Besides, consider all the times you faced Dooku-or even Ventress- without being so...so badly hurt."

Anakin was quiet for a long moment, thinking that over. "I guess," he said. Not entirely convinced, clearly, but his pulse and breathing were a little more even now.

"And if it...if it does…" He closed his eyes against the mental image of Anakin in that much pain, with half of him hacked away. "If it does, we will deal with it. I will help you, in any way I can. I promise."

"Okay," he said, and gave Obi-Wan's hand a flickering squeeze. "Okay. Thank you."

He definitely seemed calmer now, at least; but he was trembling again-almost like…

Obi-Wan frowned, extracted his free hand from its sling with care, and brushed Anakin's forehead.

"You're warmer," he said, phantom worries of Anakin with even fewer limbs immediately replaced by worries about his very real and present infection.

"Sorry," he said.

"Shh, it's all right." He pulled back and let go of Anakin's hand.

Anakin caught his wrist as he stood. "Don't-I don't-I don't want to be alone?"

"I'll be right back," he said. "We've got to keep your fever down. I'm just going to check with Beru about what to give you."

"But-" Anakin hesitated for a moment, and Obi-Wan took the opportunity to gently pry his hand off and set it down on the bed.

"Why don't you keep an eye on Leia, until I get back?" he suggested. She hadn't moved or shown any signs of waking again since he'd given her his cloak, but that would keep Anakin occupied for a little while anyway, and remind him that he wasn't alone while Obi-Wan was gone, when pointing it out directly would have come across as dismissive.

"...okay," he said.

"Good," he said. "I'll be right back." He headed out the door before Anakin could marshall another protest, following the faint thread of Beru's presence back to the kitchen. Hopefully, it wasn't too soon for another dose of whatever she'd been giving him; if not, it should help. It would help. It probably had been so far.

And in a few hours, they would be on their way back to Dr. Naar, and Anakin would get the full treatment he actually needed.

He'll be all right, Obi-Wan told himself. He's not doing anywhere near as badly as I thought he would be already. And in a matter of hours, everything will be back on track.

It probably wouldn't make the next few hours any less stressful, but that light at the end of the scenario, the dim positive end to this detour, would sustain him along the way.

As long as it did the same for Anakin, he could make it through.

Original Author's Notes: Well, this is a chapter that's been building for a long while. Hopefully it doesn't disappoint 3

Also, the bonus I mentioned a couple weeks ago is up on my writing tumblr, if you want to check it out!

~shadowsong