Raven had been far away as she spoke, back with the ghosts of her past, shocked by how vivid that memory above all others could still be – the very last time she had known real peace. Only now did she come back to herself, turn to see how Maddy was taking her tale.
She was expecting to be judged, was almost eager for it, for the opportunity to repudiate it, to insist that she had nothing to be ashamed of, that she stood by all the choices she had made, even the mistakes, to drown the bittersweet ache of the past in righteous indignation. But Maddy's eyes held no condemnation. Raven didn't know what had happened to the younger girl to take away the innocence that had once been her signature, but she had retained her ability to accept people as they came.
Maddy had put a hand out hesitantly to her friend, and after a beat, Raven took it, tried not to squeeze too hard, to need it too much, even in this moment of weakness.
"Wow, Raven. A child. A son. I can't even imagine…" Maddy shook her head. "But they – but he's not-" She was groping for the words, Raven could see, but she wasn't ready for that part, not yet. She had been digging up this ground too often in the past weeks, after leaving it fallow for almost ten years; the soil of her soul was bleeding, crumbling. At least telling Charles had been quick. She hadn't had to find the words, explain. She headed Maddy off as quickly as she could.
"But that's enough of me; enough for now. What's been your deal for ten years, anyway? Like I said, we all assumed you were dead. What happened with Fiskel, with your sister?"
Maddy's face shuttered instantly, and not for the first time Raven wondered what it would be like to be her brother, to have the power to just reach out and take from the mind of another. Not that she would, of course. Everyone had their secrets. Even she had, even now, even from Charles.
"You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to. You're alive, and you're here. That's all that matters now. We've all got to make a new start, now. Me included."
Maddy smiled gratefully, but shook her head.
"No, it's OK, really. It's just – so long ago, now. Or it feels like long ago. It's like you said - I was a different person then. A better one, maybe. I thought I was doing the right thing, the only thing I could do – saving my sister. But looking back, I sometimes think I would have done better if I had never left that night at all."