"What do you need from us?" Santana asked, as they all laid in bed that night. She was running her fingers through Britt's hair, while Quinn rested with her head on Britt's stomach.
"First I need you not to kill her, S." Brittany said with no humor in her voice. Brittany was about 90% sure that Rachel was safe from Santana, S had a weird way of responding to things like this. If she was being honest she was mostly worried about Quinn in these times. Santana was more likely to get angry when a rule had been broken, but she had a quick hot temper that burned bright and was out fast. Quinn was slower to get angry and slower to forgive. Once she was upset that a core value had been disrupted it took Quinn a while to recover.
"I can do that." Santana promised. "She's grown on me…a little."
Quinn snorted, and smiled up at Britt who smiled back before plunging on. "I need you to check your temper too Quinn, I know that Rachel really upset you, but can you please try not to let that effect your relationship with her? She is going to need a friend, too."
Quinn scowled at that. "She has Amy."
"Quinn, can you just try?" Britt asked, sighing.
She looked back up at Britt about to object but caught Santana looking down at her. While she didn't say anything, Santana's face was daring her to object. In moments like this she wished that she could be like Rachel and say that S was the only person who had authority over her, but she knew that her girlfriend would blow a gasket if she even suspected Quinn was going to say something like that. "What else?"
"You were asked a question, pretend like you have a basic understanding of manners and answer." Santana growled.
"Santana…" Brittany started.
Santana wanted to point out that Britt's problems with Rachel probably stemmed from her being too loosey goosey. "Quinn. You were asked a question." Santana repeated.
"No, I don't want to talk to her right now." Quinn said.
"Lucy Quinn Fabray!" Santana hissed.
"No, you said to answer the question and I did. It's not my fault you don't like my answer." Quinn snapped.
What in the hell had gotten into her girl. "Are you experiencing your teen angst late in life? Eighteen is not normally the birthday it starts at. Apologize and answer correctly."
"I did answer correctly." Quinn said, shifting so she couldn't see Santana's face.
Santana just nodded while she thought of what her next move should be. She kissed the top of Britts head and sat up, looking around the room for anything that could be helpful to her. It was pretty slim pickings, unfortunately. "Quinn go over to the wall, you can wall sit until you can do what I asked you to."
Quinn swallowed the anger threatening to rise up in her throat, "I'm sorry Brittany. I will try my best." She knew that Santana wanted to challenge that but wouldn't because of her wording. "What else can we do?"
"I think that we probably just need space to figure some things out." Brittany said, honestly, quickly trying to gloss over the small argument.
"That's fine, I will email my professors that I had a family emergency, and spend the week in New Haven, is that okay?" Santana checked.
"Can you miss two days?" Quinn asked surprised. If she missed any of her math class, she would be screwed.
"Yeah, I will be fine." Santana told her.
"Okay, Frannie won't have a problem with it. I will text her in the morning before we head out. I do need to go back to the apartment to grab my backpack." Quinn said.
"Good, we have some things to work out too." Santana told her. She was already making a mental note to be the one to grab their things.
Quinn felt thrown off by this. She felt like Santana might be a little irritated with her, but was surprised to hear that they had 'things to work out.' She wanted to ask, but it wasn't about her right now.
"Thank you, guys." Britt said.
"Do you want to stay with Rachel?" Santana asked after a moment.
"Of course I do." Britt told her.
"This girl is crazy." Quinn added. She knew of course that Rachel had some culpability, but Amy seemed like a professional homewrecker to her.
"We've dealt with a lot of crazies, thanks to cheer." Britt said.
Santana laughed at that, thinking through their 13 years of cheering. She missed it sometimes, she knew that Quinn missed it a lot, but she hadn't complained about it. She looked down at Quinn and knew that she was trying to work out how their conversation was going go the next day. Honestly, Santana was unsure about how it was going to go as well. One word kept circling in Santana's mind, but she knew that it would instantly crush Quinn, so she tried hard to only use it in extreme situations. She honestly wanted to say anything else, but she couldn't help how she felt.
"Rachel wasn't wrong when she said that we've all had a chance to be with other people, and she hasn't." Britt said, after thinking for a moment. "Maybe that isn't fair."
"I think it's romantic to only have been with one person." Quinn said.
"I could see how it might be a little stock-holmesque." Santana said. Quinn looked up, surprised by that comment.
"That's a little extreme." Britt said, rolling her eyes at her best friend. "Just because I understand it, doesn't mean I know what to do about it."
"If…if she…" Quinn faltered, unsure if the question would hurt of help.
"Nothing you can ask will be too offensive." Britt told her.
"But maybe it will hurt your feelings…"
Tears came back to Britt's eyes, "I can't imagine hurting more than this moment. So, ask."
"If she wants to try things out with Amy, will you wait?"
"No. I'm not saying that I outright wouldn't take her back if we are both single, or that I'm going to go looking for a rebound. I guess it depends on how serious things get." Britt said. It killed her to think about.
"I don't think Rachel wants to leave you." Quinn said.
Britt smiled down at Quinn, "When you don't have any idea who you are, it's hard to know what you want unfortunately."
"That's true." Quinn said. She wasn't sure if maybe a consequence of providing a lack of discipline was having a lack of self-awareness. Britt had at least had her and Santana's parents to provide a small amount of structure when she was with them, Rachel really had nothing before Britt, and honestly, Brittany wasn't the pillar of discipline.
"Let's just see where this next week takes us." Britt told them. She closed her eyes knowing that the other two would know that she was done talking. Santana waited for Britt's breathing to level out, "Quinn?" Quinn bit her lip, she didn't want to answer. "I can see you blinking." Quinn shut her eyes tight and Santana laughed. "Get up, crazy."
"Are you going to spank me?" Quinn asked.
"Should it matter?" Santana asked. "I told you to get up."
Quinn thought about that, eyes still closed. "No, it shouldn't." She agreed, standing up.
Santana gently rolled Britt to the side and scooted over herself before lifting the quilt up so Quinn could climb in. Quinn dove in, grateful to not be getting spanked. "I'm sorry."
"Shh…" Santana said as she wrapped her arms around her, "You haven't been sleeping well. Close your eyes and get some sleep my love."
"San?" Quinn asked.
"Yeah Baby?" Santana asked.
"I know that I'm in trouble, but overall we are okay, right?" Quinn asked.
Santana could hear the anxiety pouring through her voice. "I think so, and I'm confident that anything that needs improvement that we will improve."
She felt Quinn's entire body relax under her. "thank you. Love you lots."
Santana kissed the top of her head, "Love you lots too. Go to sleep now."
"Yes Ma'am."
"Such a good girl," S mumbled sleepily.
The next morning, Quinn was dead to the world, so Santana let her sleep, she needed it after a weekend of tossing and turning. She went to the apartment with Britt to grab some things to spend the week with Quinn. She remembered to grab Quinn's backpack and set all the stuff by the front door. Britt had been standing in the kitchen making coffee and handed Santana a cup.
"Are you sure that you are going to be okay here?" San asked, worried for her friend.
"Yeah, but I will call every night to make sure you know I'm still okay." Britt said, leaning into her friend for support.
"I can come home whenever you need." Santana assured her.
"I think that it will be fine." Britt told her. "At the moment I'm feeling overwhelmed, so talking can only help with that right?"
"In theory. Overwhelmed by…"
"Even if we talk it out and she doesn't want to date someone else, things have to change. We can't all just be collateral damage in the Rachel show." Britt said, voicing a concern she had had since moving to New York. "What if I don't have it in me to correct?"
"If that's what is decided, then just baby step it, like you would anything else." Santana told her.
"Do you think you could help us? Quinn is so well behaved, and she doesn't even really complain. The pushback is the real killer for me. The second Rachel pushes back it doesn't feel worth it." Brittany told her.
Santana smirked, "I was planning on talking to Quinn about the pushback that she has been giving this last month when she wakes up. It feels like it is getting out of control." Santana told her.
"If Quinn saying no, and then almost immediately does what you say is pushback, I'd hate to know what you think when Rachel and I communicate." Britt said.
Santana leaned back against the sink to get better look at her friend's face. "Can I ask you something, that you are going to feel is a little harsh?"
"Now is a good time, I'm having to rebuild anyway." Britt said.
Santana thought about the best way around the question without sounding too judgmental. "Do you and Rachel really communicate?"
"What?" Britt asked completely thrown off by the question. "Rach and I talk all the time."
"Talking and communicating are different. You know that. I'm not saying that Rachel is in any way justified in the choices that she is making, but you, Quinn, and I can just look at each other and know what the others are thinking. We communicate so well without words because we put in a lot of time and work for it. Unconsciously at first when we were little, but it's something that has needed more work as we aged. Have we ever actually invited Rachel into that intimacy?" Santana asked. "It's not great that Quinn and I didn't work hard to build that, but you and Rachel are in a relationship…"
"I thought so." Britt said, wondering what they had missed.
"How do you and Rachel's dreams and plans for the future exist together, even more so, how do each of your individual plans help each other achieve what you want out of life?" Santana asked.
"I just figured that we would get there when we get there, do you and Quinn talk about all of that stuff? You don't just let it work out?" Britt asked. She always listened as Rachel prattled on about the future, but never gave much input. Rachel just wanted to be heard, didn't she?
"Quinn and I talk about that stuff constantly, marriage, kids, careers…it's important for us to be on the same page." Santana told her. "It makes it easier for us to know when we are heading off course when we know what the course is. Same with rules, have you and Rachel played a game of don't cross the line, or have you actually sat down and talked about what the rules are, why they are important, and what will happen if those lines are crossed?"
"No, we haven't done that." Britt's face reddened, because now it seemed so obvious. "But you didn't either you just spanked Quinn at camp one day!"
Santana frowned at her, "Quinn and I took several walks in those two weeks and talked about very specific parameters to this relationship, and we revisit those conversations often. Our relationship is a living thing that is constantly growing and changing."
Britt frowned, "I didn't know that you two had talked about it. I was just trying to do what you guys were doing."
"Britt, you haven't ever really been in a real relationship either, you've done flings. So, this is a really big learning process for you both, is it worth learning with Rachel, is the question you need to ask yourself." Santana told her.
"A lot to think about," Britt said.
Santana nodded. "You promise not to do anything crazy while you are thinking?"
"Like what?" Britt asked, shocked that S would even ask her that.
"Like leave the apartment without your phone or money and walk the streets of New York at night when you are crying and vulnerable." Santana said, allowing just a touch of disapproval to enter her tone.
Britt blushed at that. "Not my clearest decision."
"Not at all. And you know that I will kick your ass need be. In fact, maybe that's how I can help." Santana told her, nudging her slightly with a smile.
"I know." Britt agreed. "I'm sorry. I will do my best to think clearly."
Santana kissed her temple, "That's all I can ask."
"I'm gonna go shower, I will call you tonight." Britt told her.
Santana watched her walk down the hall. She still wasn't totally sure what she was going to say to Quinn yet. As she was thinking about it, Rachel appeared anxiously in the hallway. Santana grabbed another mug and poured out some coffee, "I'm not going to kill you. Come here."
"Because Brittany and Quinn made you promise not to?" Rachel asked, slowly approaching.
Santana set the cup down across from her, "Partially that. I want to talk to you though, sit down." She knew that Rachel wanted to instinctively say that she couldn't tell her what to do, and was surprised when Rachel walked over and sat down at the breakfast bar. Santana refilled her own cup and leaned on the bar. "How are you holding up?"
Rachel wasn't sure what she had been expecting but that wasn't it. The surprise splashed clearly across her face, but San didn't comment, waiting for an answer. She thought that she would want to rip Rachel to shreds when she saw her too, but as Rach sat in front of her looking totally disheveled all she could see was Quinn, and her heart broke for Rachel too. "Not great."
Santana nodded, "Want to talk about it?"
"I don't really know what to say yet." Rachel told her, honestly.
"Do you know what you want at the end of this?" San asked her.
Rachel had never been on this side of a conversation with Santana, usually the Latina was yelling or keeping the conversation light. Now, though, she felt like as Santana's eyes swept her face, she was searching her soul. "I just want to make the right choice for everyone."
"That's a tall order." Santana told the girl straightening, "Maybe just think about what's right for you first."
"What about Britt?" Rachel asked.
"Britt loves you; she will want you to figure out and do what's right for you. That's what loving someone is." Santana washed her cup in the sink and set it aside to dry before leaning back on the sink.
"Even if it hurts?"
Santana nodded, "Even then. Love is funny like that. I'm going to spend the week with Quinn in New Haven, but I will call and check in every night, I want you to answer your phone, can you do that?"
"Check in for what?" Rachel asked.
"To make sure you are doing okay. Like I told Britt, I can come home early if you need me." Santana told her.
"Aren't you furious with me?" Rachel asked surprised.
"Yeah." Santana said, walking around the side of the bar to leave.
"Then why do you want to check on me?"
Santana leaned in and gently kissed Rachel's temple, "Love is funny like that." She walked over to the door and picked up both her and Quinn's back packs. "Will you answer?"
"Yeah." Rachel said, too stunned to say much else. She was used to Santana being bossy, not asking her if she agreed.
"Talk to you tonight then." San said before leaving.