"I can't believe I let you all talk me into this…" Alice grumbled, slamming down a bag on the ground, the objects inside clinking against each other as they settled.
The Spartans were out in the woods. Different than usual because they were about to take part in one of the age-old rituals of mankind.
Camping.
And it wasn't their preferred sort of camping, either. Not the type of camping with a sniper rifle pointed at a band of bad guys, but the boring type of camping. Normal camping. It was Mike's idea and, somehow, the rest of the lot got pulled in as well, some more willingly than others.
"Come on, you guys." Naomi huffed, rolling her eyes as she helped them to unload the supplies, "Humans are the only known species in the galaxy that goes camping for fun! Celebrate our uniqueness!"
"Up until a year or two ago," Jerome began in retort, "Humans were the only known species in the galaxy at all."
"Exactly, so now, we have to celebrate what makes us unique even more!" Naomi replied with a shrug.
"Rubbish." Douglas pointed. "Camping is for hillbillies and luddites, and I don't see any incest happening and we all love our phones, so why the fuck are we out here?"
Naomi's smile dropped as she shrugged. "To spend time together?"
Alice snorted. "Like we don't do enough of that already."
Meanwhile, across the forest, Fred, Linda, and Kelly were testing something out.
In his hands, Fred held the paint sprayer that Halsey had stolen, only there was something… up with it. Bits of technology cobbled together almost haphazardly were stuck to the body of it, with a screen mounted to the back.
"Um…" Fred muttered, looking down at it. "It's humming, is it supposed to do that?"
"How should we know?" Kelly crossed her arms. "You're the one who took it out of Halsey's lab."
"Yeah, well, I wanted my paint-sprayer back, not… whatever the hell this is." Fred muttered, tapping the screen. It brought up a color wheel, and a selection of colors, and Fred frowned, tapping blue. "Okay…" He confusedly muttered, turning a clicking dial mounted to the side. "What the hell is this supposed to do?"
"Ask Halsey." Linda told him, causing Fred to shake his head.
"She doesn't even remember half of what she did in that state." He replied, frowning. "There's a trigger here…" He noted, turning to point it at a tree. "Maybe…" He squeezed it, and found the thing pushing back against him, as a thick stream of blue paint jetted out from the barrel of the sprayer, painting the entire side of a tree blue, before Fred let up.
"Oh my God…" Linda groaned, "Halsey invented a paint gun. That's what we were worried about exploding on us!? A paint gun!?"
Fred looked down at it with newfound excitement. "Oh, dude, this is cool!" He quickly switched colors, painting a different tree red. "Look at that! It flash-dries on what it touches, that's awesome!"
Kelly shook her head. "The secrets of an ancient alien race… and she uses them to make paint cannons." She suddenly frowned, wondering something. "Where does it get the paint?"
Fred looked down at it, suddenly curious about that too. "I don't know… there's a reservoir, but it's nowhere near big enough for that…"
He shrugged, and continued blasting, content to not worry about it.
Cortana sat by a fire, bouncing her leg with chittering teeth, as John sat next to her, roasting some food over the open flame. "H-H-How c-c-c-can I b-b-b-b-be thi-this cold?"
"Here," John turned to her, pouring something into a thermos, "Try this."
Cortana looked down at the steaming container, before she threw it back, albeit slowly, drinking it all down.
"Mmm…" Cortana's shivers calmed somewhat. "Frosty." She smiled at him, "Thank you."
John nodded, turning back to his fire.
"…still cold." She admitted, and he theatrically rolled his eyes, because he knew what was bound to come next as she hopped over, getting right in his personal space, cozying up to him to keep warm. "John, why are we out here? We could be at home, watching things, you could be painting…"
"Why do that, when I could be out here spending time with you?" He asked in response, blinking. "You and the rest of my friends, I mean."
"We can do that at home." Cortana rolled her eyes, before closing them. "There is a certain romanticism in it, I suppose. Just you and the world, no noisy technology to distract you… Surrounded by nature…" She felt something on her lips, and her eyes popped open, blinking in confusion.
Oh, John was kissing her.
"Hey, guys, I found the marsh-" Will stepped into the clearing, holding a bag. He blinked at the sight, before turning around, and walking away. "Honestly, if I could go one day without someone getting together…"
Jai let out a frustrated growl as his leg fell into a hole, night falling overhead. "This is bullshit."
"I know," Sam agreed, "Freakin' Mike, trying to make us all outdoorsmen… I hate camping, and I hate the woods." He stopped, seeing Guilty Spark floating in the distance, Mike's mountaineering tent hanging from a low branch, and he got an idea.
The next morning, the Spartans were gathered around, sipping mugs of coffee.
"So…" Adriana glanced at the tent, curious. "How long'd that take you?"
"Bout five minutes?" Sam asked in response, sipping his drink. "Spark will do just about anything if you promise to polish his casing."
"How long do you think it'll take him to realize?" Jai inquired.
In response, Sam checked his watch, watching the seconds tick by. "Any second now…"
The cloth fluttered as movement came from inside the tent, and Mike opened it. "JESUS!" He gasped, looking at just how high up he was. "SAMUEL!" He bellowed, looking down. "I KNOW THIS IS YOU! WHAT THE HELL, MAN!?"
"Hey, you were snoring, and we didn't want to ruin this lovely camping trip by forcing everyone to pack up and move!" Sam replied with a chuckle, looking up to the tent hanging near the top of a large tree. "Besides, if anything, I did you a favor! Look at that spectacular view!"
"The only view you're gonna be getting is my fist in your face!" Mike hollered back. "When I get down there!"
Sam checked his watch, looking at Jai. "What do you think, we got a head start for about ten minutes?"
"Probably." Jai nodded, watching as Mike slowly came down.
"I like those odds." Sam remarked, finishing the drink.