"How many times have I already told you to stop doing that, Azula?!" Ursa yelled, grabbing the young girl by the arm, as she tried to get out of her mother's grip.
"Stop it! You're hurting me!" cried out Azula.
"Oh, so now I'm the one who's hurting you," said Ursa, letting go of her hand, almost reluctantly. "You don't like pain, but you hurt others all the time! You were practicing your firebending on a turtle duck just now! Do you think he doesn't feel pain?"
"Father said I had to practice more of my bending to make my fire hotter," said Azula, lowering her gaze. "And he doesn't care if I attack those stupid animals…"
"Azula! How can you say such things?!" yelled Ursa. "They're living creatures! You can't treat them like this!"
"Father doesn't mind that I do!" yelled Azula again, avoiding looking at her mother.
"Well, clearly your father doesn't care to see his daughter is becoming a monster!" said Ursa harshly, her eyes blazing as she spoke viciously to the five-year-old in front of her.
Azula looked up at her mother now, eyes overflowing with tears. It was only then that Ursa realized what she had just said, and the harsh cruelty Azula had witnessed in her turned into remorse immediately.
"A… Azula…" she said, as the young girl gritted her teeth. Azula shut her eyes, trying to stop the tears from falling from her eyes, yet she failed to make it so. "Azula, I'm so…"
She refused to hear those words. She didn't want to hear them, she knew they were a lie. Finally, her mother had admitted it… this was what she truly thought of her. Ursa had always thought her daughter was a monster, and at last she had found the guts to say so. But despite she had suspected this was the case, hearing those words spoken aloud was still too much to take for the little girl.
Azula turned around and sprung down the hallway as fast as her short legs could carry her. The tears rolled down her cheeks, despite how hard she willed them not to. And her mother reached a hand out towards her, hoping to catch the girl before she could run away.
"Azula!" called out Ursa, trying to chase after her, but her large robes got in the way when she attempted to run after her daughter. "AZULA! Come back!"
The Fire Lord's granddaughter ignored her mother's pleas and continued running through shortcuts and hidden passageways of the Palace that Ursa wasn't aware even existed. Eventually, Azula jumped out into the garden again, yet she had headed in the complete opposite direction from where those damned turtle ducks lived. Upon her arrival, Azula ducked before a statue of a very imposing dragon, one that had been raised by Azulon's command, for it represented a dragon he had slain himself. The statue's horns were the dragon's actual horns. It wasn't a place many people frequented, and Azula knew as much because she used to hide here to get away from her mother. So far, Ursa had never found her there. She crawled right underneath the statue, between the dragon's talons, hoping that nobody else would intrude upon her until she was finally willing to come out of her hiding spot.
She hugged her knees and dropped head atop them, tears streaming freely down her face now. She had always known her mother didn't care much for her, that she preferred Zuko; that she didn't care if Azula was more talented in studies or in bending than her brother was, she simply liked him better. Yet now she knew why that was: her mother believed Azula was a monster.
What was so wrong about what she had done in the pond, really? She couldn't make any sense out of it: her father encouraged her to train this way, only for her mother to tell her otherwise later. It was confusing, extremely confusing for her young mind. She had always been quick-witted and smart, but this was simply beyond her comprehension.
She tried to stop the tears from leaving her eyes, knowing her father would disapprove of her if he knew she had been crying, since he considered emotions were a sign of weakness, but she couldn't help it, despite herself. She hated crying, Zuko did it all the time just to get Ursa's attention and it irritated her that he could earn their mother's love through feigned weakness… well, nowadays she wasn't so sure if he was faking it. It seemed to Azula he was truly just as weak as he acted.
Thinking about how he wasn't stronger or better than her in any regards only deepened her bitterness and sadness. What did Ursa see in that weepy boy? Was it the same she could see in those pathetic creatures that roamed the garden's pond? What was that ridiculous notion of having to protect those who were incapable of taking care of themselves? Nobody had to take care of her in most circumstances, and that had made her strong. She stood up for herself, without needing anyone to show her the way.
Her father would teach her what she needed to know, but he wouldn't always stay nearby to see if she was faring well whenever she tried to put his teachings to good use. He trusted she would be able to watch out for herself. On the other hand, her mother was always taking care of Zuko and sorting out all his problems when he came crying to her, so Azula had grown to think that she could prove to be a better child than he was if she showed she didn't need anyone's help. It seemed that Ursa thought differently, though. She thought she was a monster, no less…
"Well, well... what do we have here?" asked a familiar male voice, startling her.
Azula looked up quickly, wiping off the tears on her eyes with the back of her hand. Her cousin's bright smile almost blinded her when she looked at him. Normally she liked his kind grins: today she wanted nothing to do with them.
"Why, it's the pretty dragon lady," he said, chuckling. "Why is the dragon lady hiding down here, I wonder?"
"It's none of your business, Lu Ten," Azula growled, looking at the ground pointedly. "Go away."
"What's the matter, Azula?" Lu Ten asked, putting aside his playful demeanor and sitting at the foot of the statue, looking worriedly at his youngest cousin.
"I said it's none of your business! Leave me alone or I'll burn you!" Azula shouted, glaring at Lu Ten. Both of them knew her threat was completely hollow: not only would she be unwilling to hurt him, but even if she tried, she wasn't bound to succeed. Lu Ten was far stronger a bender than she was at her five years of age and stopping her fire wouldn't prove too difficult for him.
"Hey, no need to be so stingy," said Lu Ten, grimacing. "I'm trying to be nice and help you out with whatever bothers you! Bottling feelings up isn't good for anyone, especially for firebenders. If you're not calm and at peace, your fire might get out of control! And if you try to bend lightning while you're distressed you might find yourself in a nasty pickle..."
"I can't bend lightning," Azula growled, pouting.
"Not yet," said Lu Ten, smiling. "But I'm sure you'll do it one day. You can become the strongest firebender this nation has ever seen!"
Azula's eyes lit up as she watched Lu Ten flapping his arms around to give his speech more impact.
"B-but Father is much stronger than me..." she muttered.
"Well, my dad is also stronger than me," said Lu Ten, chuckling. "But that's okay. He's so strong it would be crazy for a guy like me to even think about beating him. But you... you're Azula! You're only five-years-old and you've already mastered six firebending forms! I tell you, at that age I was still picking my nose..."
"Kind of like Zuko," said Azula, laughing a little.
"Yeah, just like him," Lu Ten agreed, smiling. He didn't think so lowly of his cousin, but apparently making fun of Zuko was the easiest way to cheer Azula up.
Azula smiled, still hugging her knees, but she was no longer crying. Lu Ten beamed at her and placed his arms around her, lifting her with ease and placing her on his lap.
"So... care to tell your humble servant what was displeasing you earlier, dragon lady?"
"Humble? You're going to be Fire Lord, cousin Lu Ten. There's nothing humble about you," said Azula pointedly, making him laugh.
"In that case, young Princess Azula, the Strongest Dragon ever seen, ruler of the Western Earth Kingdom Provinces... Your Fire Lord commands you to tell him what is this foul evil that clouds your mind"
Azula giggled and smiled as she heard all the makeshift titles her cousin had granted her. They had always gotten along quite well. He had no qualms about playing with her even when she was a girl and he was boy, all the opposite to Zuko. He never showed any favoritism towards Zuko either, unlike Azula's mother and uncle. But all the same, he showed no favoritism towards Azula, unlike Azula's father. And even so, or perhaps because of that, Azula enjoyed his company the most. He was everything she wanted to be one day. Some people believed he had only attained his position as Captain in the army because he was the Fire Lord's grandson, but Azula knew much better than that. Lu Ten was strong, smart and skilled. He deserved his every title.
"Well, the thing is..." started Azula, her grin fading away from her face as she spoke. "I was practicing my firebending and my mom told me off for it."
"What, for practicing your forms? How come?" said Lu Ten, surprised.
"Well, it wasn't because of my forms," muttered the girl, biting her lower lip. "It was because of my targets..."
"Oh, no. Did you set a servant's robes on fire again?" asked Lu Ten.
"No, I… I wanted to try and evaporate the water in the turtle duck's pond," Azula admitted. "It would have gotten refilled with the fountain's water anyway, so it wasn't a bad thing!"
"But still..." muttered Lu Ten, grimacing. Now he understood why his aunt had told his cousin off.
"I was trying to see how hot my flames are now!" Azula insisted. "I'd be able to tell if I could evaporate water quickly, it's why I was doing it!"
"That actually makes some sense..." muttered Lu Ten, thoughtful. This girl was smarter than he had ever imagined, coming to that conclusion at such early age…
"But she caught me when I was starting out, and one of those stupid turtle ducks got his tail burned by my fire blast because I lost focus," Azula said, pouting. "She told me off and said I shouldn't attack living things… And then… and then she…"
"She what? What did she do?" asked Lu Ten, worried.
Azula took a deep breath before muttering the last part of her tale, her eyes filling with tears as she remembered the fierce glare her mother had given her while saying what she thought of her…
"S-she said I was a monster," she managed to say, before sobs and tears took over her body. She began crying uncontrollably, even when she didn't want to shed one more tear over this matter...
"She said what?!" said Lu Ten, aghast. The relationship between Azula and Ursa had never been smooth, but for Prince Ozai's wife to call her daughter a monster seemed beyond reason to Lu Ten. Perhaps Azula was far more ruthless than most kids her age, but deeming her a monster was unthinkable. She was just a child who needed to understand the error of her ways, and Ursa could resort to explaining it to her instead of insulting her and bringing her daughter to tears as she had. "Oh, Azula… It's okay, it's going to be alright. I'm sure your mother didn't mean to say something like that…"
"B-but she did!" squealed Azula. "She said I was a monster! She just wants me to be like Zuko, but I don't want to be like him! I'm smart and strong and Lo and Li said I was really talented… s-so why does she hate me? I-it's not fair…"
"Your mother… your mother doesn't hate you, Azula," whispered Lu Ten, hugging Azula tightly. "Why would a mother hate her child? It... it makes no sense."
"But she does… she does, cousin Lu Ten," Azula muttered between sobs.
"Your mother just said something really stupid, that's what happened," Lu Ten said. "You're not a monster, Azula."
"Y-you think so...?" the young Princess asked. "B-but then why does she think I am one?"
"Maybe an evil spirit came by and tweaked her better judgment," said Lu Ten, smiling a little.
"That's stupid," Azula retorted.
"Okay, okay, it is..." Lu Ten admitted, between chuckles. "I'll tell you what: I'll have a really good talk with your mother and I'll make sure she realizes you're not a monster, that you're the most wonderful girl in the world!"
"I am?" Azula asked, looking up at her cousin in amazement.
"Sure you are," said Lu Ten, beaming. "Your mother is just crabby because she didn't have an apple on her breakfast today."
"That makes no sense," said Azula, confused.
Lu Ten laughed again and shrugged.
"Maybe not, but it doesn't mean it's not true!" It made more sense for Ursa to be upset over an apple than for her to call her daughter a monster, from Lu Ten's point of view. No mother should ever say such a thing about her children. But she must have said so, or else Azula wouldn't have been so upset…
"Then... you'll talk to her? When?" asked Azula, looking up at the Prince.
"As soon as I see her again," said Lu Ten. "I'll make her see you're not a monster, Azula. I promise."
Azula's eyes lit up as she stared at her cousin with hope. This little girl in his arms was anything but a monster, Lu Ten thought, as he smiled at her reassuringly...
"Ah, there you are!" a voice called out, startling the cousins. "Lu Ten, I've been looking all over for you!"
"Dad..." said Lu Ten, smiling as he turned his head around and regarded his father. "What's the matter?"
"Your grandfather just told me we must take off right away," said Iroh, walking towards them. "A storm approaches the shores of the Fire Nation, and we ought to take our leave right now if we want to outrun it."
"What? You're leaving to Ba Sing Se today?!" Azula gasped, looking at Lu Ten, horrified.
"Yeah, I thought you knew. We were planning on leaving tonight, but…" muttered Lu Ten, downcast.
"B-but…" Azula mumbled, looking aghast. "What about…?"
Lu Ten smiled reassuringly towards Azula once again and patted her head.
"No need to worry. As soon as I get back, I'll talk to your mother," he said, grinning.
"But… you're going to fight in the biggest city of the Earth Kingdom," Azula muttered. "Won't the battle take too long?"
"It might," said Lu Ten, grimacing. "But I'll be back as soon as I can, I promise that too."
"Well… okay," said Azula, slightly disappointed regardless.
"Try not to burn any turtle ducks while I'm gone," said Lu Ten, playfully. "And take good care of yourself, Azula."
"You too," said Azula, looking at him worriedly. "I'm going to miss you."
"I'll miss you too, my wonderful dragon lady."
Lu Ten embraced her tightly, and Azula gripped his clothes as he did. Not often was she hugged by anyone: she was almost a complete stranger to any displays of affection. But her helplessness upon being hugged like this didn't matter to her cousin. He was the kindest person she knew.
Lu Ten pulled away and gave Azula one last smile before turning towards his father. Azula glared at Iroh begrudgingly, blaming him, on some level, for Lu Ten's departure. She knew it wasn't Iroh's fault directly, for it was her grandfather, Fire Lord Azulon, who had decided to send both Iroh and his son to wage the war in Ba Sing Se. Yet Iroh should have waited for her conversation with Lu Ten to end: he should have waited until his son had fulfilled the promise he had made to his cousin. Because Azula didn't know how long Lu Ten would be gone… weeks, probably months, and until he came back, her mother would continue to think she was a monster. But of course, that wouldn't matter to Iroh, would it? All he ever wanted was to drink tea and laugh at his lame jokes… and he probably thought she was a monster too.
Azula walked back into the Palace, her head low. She didn't know where she was going now. Maybe she ought to find Lo and Li and have them supervise her as she practiced her forms, but the thought wasn't too appealing. All she really wanted was to stay as far from her mother as she could be…
"Azula… oh, I've been looking for you all over the Palace."
Oh, such was her luck.
Azula cringed upon the sound of her mother's voice, and she didn't turn around to look at her. She felt compelled to run away from her again, but for some reason she stopped on her tracks. Surely her mother was planning on apologizing, on claiming she hadn't meant what she said… and it would all be a lie, of course. Azula knew otherwise.
"You shouldn't have run that way, Azula…" said Ursa, approaching with caution at the little girl. Azula looked at her over her shoulder, just as wary as her mother. "Please, Azula, I…"
"Mom! Mom, Lu Ten is leaving!" shouted a boy, Azula's older brother, Zuko.
All of what Ursa was going to say to her daughter was forgotten when she heard her son's voice. Zuko came running towards his mother, passing by Azula quickly.
"A guard just told me that Uncle Iroh and Lu Ten are about to leave to Ba Sing Se, mom!" said Zuko.
"Oh, my, so soon?" Ursa said, a hand going to her mouth as she thought about what her son had just told her. "Well, then, we must go with them to say farewell and wish them luck on the battlefield."
"Yeah, that's what I thought!" said Zuko, smiling and taking Ursa's hand in his. "Let's go, mom!"
Ursa beamed back at her son before turning towards Azula… to find she wasn't there anymore. Her eyes widened as she looked at the empty hallway, shocked. Where had she gone?
"Azula? Azula! Come back, you must say your farewells to your cousin and uncle!" Ursa exclaimed, but there was no answer.
"Maybe she went on ahead," said Zuko, shrugging.
Ursa sighed and clasped Zuko's hand tightly, leading him towards the Palace gates while hoping her son's guess would be correct. She didn't know, of course, that Azula had said goodbye to her cousin already. And the young girl was determined not to spend more time near her mother than what was absolutely necessary.
She had run off, again into one of the secret passageways, but this time she had gone deeper inside the Palace, headed for its lower chambers. She didn't want to be around anyone right now, not her mother, not her father, her brother or her cousin. She just needed to be alone. She was good at that.
She found her way into the Agni Kai chamber, and she stood on the center of the platform, performing her bending forms and yet also releasing fire thoughtlessly, carelessly. She just needed to pour out all her disappointment, all her sadness, and the only way to do that was by turning those feelings into anger, so that she could channel them through her bending.
And so, she kicked and punched the air around her, fire bursting from her extremities at will as she put her mind to the task of becoming stronger, of becoming better, of proving she didn't care if her mother thought her to be a monster…
Azula woke with a start, her chest heaving as she pulled away from the dream she had just had. Yet as the sweat rolled down her brow she realized it had been no dream… it had been a memory. Why had she relived that very moment now, so suddenly?
She sat up on the bed, rubbing her eyes with the back of her hand and frowning. Thinking about her mother was definitely the worst way to start off a day. And it just happened to be that very memory…
"Princess?" someone knocked on the door repeatedly. Azula hadn't noticed yet that it was already time to get up. She had to eat breakfast, to get ready for the day, to forget everything to do with her mother…
"Come in," she said, pushing the covers aside and climbing out of bed as a group of servants entered the room, some carrying silverware and food for the Princess while others hurried to prepare a bath and a change of clothes for her.
Yet one of them only approached her as Azula was about to head towards her room's dining wing, and the Princess eyed him with a frown. Shouldn't he be busying himself with something?
"What is it?" she asked, raising an eyebrow inquisitively as she guessed he would be a messenger.
"Princess, I was told to inform you…" said the man, nervous upon speaking to the Princess. "It has been finished. The dragon's refuge… it's finally finished."
Azula looked at the servant in surprise once she heard the news. She had been certain it would take several more weeks until the structure was complete. Well, these good tidings ought to help her forget about her mother indeed…
As soon as she had finished her breakfast, taken her bath, donned her armor and fixed her usual hairdo, Azula sought out Xin Long and, together, they headed towards the South Wing of the Palace. She had seen the foundations for the building several times already, but she hadn't known the refuge had been so close to completion.
The building was a tall, dark cylinder, with several panels placed in strategic positions that opened for the dragon's easy exit or entrance to the refuge. There were also gates through which people could enter the building on foot… namely, Azula. There weren't many people who would approach the dragon, for nearly any humans who came up to him, even if it was solely to admire him, would run away seconds after the dragon threatened them, either with smoke or actual fire, to burn their clothes off.
"It's quite large… and impressive," Azula noted, once they were inside the building. "You should be comfortable here. It's far more spacious than the cave you used to live in, I believe."
Xin Long agreed and nodded as he gazed about the refuge. The building was almost completely empty within, save for a central pole that reached all the way to the ceiling, where he could perch himself on with ease if he felt like doing so.
The builders explained to Azula how the building worked, namely focusing on how the panels could be opened and closed by the dragon himself if he pulled down the levers right beside them. The compound could be closed completely, to protect the dragon from the rain or in case the blowing wind might bother the dragon while he slept, yet it was easily opened as well. And as Azula heard the explanation, she sent her thoughts towards Xin Long so that he'd know what to do whenever he wanted to leave the refuge. Naturally, upon understanding the nature of the panel system, the creature jumped towards the first panel he saw and struck the lever beside it with his paw to make sure it truly worked. After checking it did, he decided that pushing the lever up and down repeatedly was rather fun, hence he proceeded to do that while Azula smirked, amused by his childishness.
The material with which the refuge had been built was virtually flame-proof, yet the builder recommended Azula to tell the dragon to keep from trying to set the walls on fire, for dragons' fire had special qualities to it. Azula merely smirked at that warning before dismissing them, as that was the last of their explanations. They did so with a bow, while Azula continued gazing about herself. Once they were alone, Xin Long hopped down to the ground beside her with a happy groan.
"You look pleased," said Azula. "You should be. It took them quite some time to get this finished… though I will say it's rather plain considering how long it actually took."
Xin Long groaned and moved around his rider, and Azula merely smiled.
"Yes, I know, you're too happy to care. You have a cave from where you can shoot out into the sky at ease. It's perfect for you."
Xin Long closed his eyes and seemed to giggle, though that was just another groan from the creature. Azula smiled and caressed his hair, her fingers sliding through the tangles of Xin Long's blue locks.
"The builders claim the building is fire-proof…" said Azula, and Xin Long snickered. "No, that isn't a challenge. They're not trying to put your fire to the test… so please don't try to prove them wrong, will you? If you do they'll take ages again to repair the refuge, and you don't want that, do you?"
Xin Long nudged at her shoulder with his nose and Azula just rolled her eyes, smirking at him.
"I've truly been the most terrible influence upon you," she said, her hand sliding over the scales of his neck now. "Who knew a dragon could be as competitive as you are?"
Xin Long seemed to take that as a compliment, and Azula didn't contradict him. It was no insult to compare him to her… though maybe it was.
She froze in place for an instant, as her dream and all implications of her being a monster returned to her mind suddenly. Xin Long noticed the change in her demeanor and frowned, turning towards her with concern. Azula returned to reality upon Xin Long's reaction, and she smiled at him, patting his back.
"Now, then, you have a home, and a good one," she muttered, changing the subject quickly before the dragon could ask any questions. "And there is a place for us to set down your saddle right over there, isn't there? It's quite a heavy thing to bear on your back at all times, so…"
Xin Long seemed startled when Azula began unbuckling his saddle. He had been wearing it non-stop for quite a long time, and thus he would appreciate getting out of it… but he was still concerned regarding whatever had bothered his rider earlier. Azula paid no heed to him, though, busying herself with this activity mostly to keep from thinking about her mother. She finished undoing every binding that kept the saddle in place before lifting it with some difficulty…
… Or perhaps with too much difficulty. She was no weakling, but the saddle was far heavier than she had taken it for. She gritted her teeth as she pulled it off Xin Long, and she struggled to keep her balance while holding the saddle over her head, fearing she might trip and fall on her butt, saddle included…
And that was when another pair of hands came out of nowhere, it seemed, and reached out for the saddle before Azula could fall over backwards. The Princess was astonished, but even more so when she felt herself crash against the chest of her helper…
"And what exactly are you up to now, Princess?"
Who was none other than Sokka, of course. She would have recognized his gloved hands anywhere. Yet she hadn't expected to end up with his body pressed against her back like this… all thoughts of the saddle faded from her mind as she processed just how close they were right now.
"Could you…?" Azula muttered, as Sokka stepped away from her, taking the saddle with him.
"Right," he said, grimacing as he struggled to hold the saddle by himself. It was good that he was as muscular as he currently was, else he wouldn't have managed to lift it. "Where do you… where do you want this thing?"
"Anywhere, just… drop it anywhere," said Azula, blinking a few times and keeping an eye on him while he tried his hardest to lift the saddle.
He stepped towards the nearest wall and placed the saddle beside it as carefully as he could, and he massaged his fingers after completing his task.
"Woah, that thing is way heavier than it looks..." he said, grimacing.
"It's mostly made of metals and leathers, so naturally, it would be," said Azula, shrugging as she smiled a little.
Xin Long looked at his rider, and he actually lifted his eyebrows as he did. She had been upset over something just a moment ago, he had sensed it but she had barred the matter from her mind too quickly for him to recognize what it was. Yet now, when Sokka showed up, she was as lively as ever…
"I guess so," said Sokka, still rubbing his fingers before turning towards Azula, with a smile of his own. "So, this is your dear friend's lair? Pretty big, isn't it?"
"Big enough," replied Azula. "I wouldn't have had it any smaller, and neither would have Xin Long. This way it won't remind him much of the cave he was stuck in before we found him."
"Does he think about it a lot?" Sokka asked, curious. "You see his memories and whatnot… do you think the darkness still bugs him?"
"It… it does, at times. But less so nowadays," said Azula, albeit her conscience betrayed her upon Sokka's question. He was asking about Xin Long's memories, not hers…
"Well, soon enough he'll forget all about it, I hope," said Sokka, smiling. "Once he has seen enough things in the world, that cave won't bother him anymore."
"We can only hope indeed," said Azula. "In any case, he'll never go back there. He'll be fine in his new refuge."
"Definitely," Sokka agreed, smiling. "So… what will we be up to today? Training? Eating? Keeping our pets far apart so that they won't keep conspiring against us?"
Azula rolled her eyes and shook her head at his suggestions, yet she was amused by them nonetheless.
"None of them," she declared. "And may I remind you, first of all, that Xin Long, as I have told you countless times, is not a pet. And secondly, he doesn't conspire against me along with your hawk. You're the only one who elicits that sort of behavior out of them."
"What?! You're not possibly suggesting I've asked for it…" said Sokka, sarcastically, and Azula chuckled.
"As if you really needed for me to suggest it to know it's the truth," said Azula, shaking her head again. "Anyways, we're not going to train today… at least, not yet. I was planning on having a look at our place in the ranking, and we ought to accept a challenge or two… perhaps send some of our own, if needed. We've lagged behind the Bandit despite how we fared in the event, so we'd better do something to remedy that."
"Not a second to waste, is there?" said Sokka, smiling. "Well, then, let's go! Those four hundred points should have sent us quite high anyways…"
Azula turned towards Xin Long, who was swinging his tail back and forth as he watched the exchange eagerly. Azula glared at him and placed her hands on her hips.
"Enjoying the show, are you?" she asked, raising her eyebrows, and Xin Long laughed. "Why, I'm glad I amuse you, though I fail to see what's so interesting. Entertainment is exactly what any rider would like to provide to his dragon, of course..."
Xin Long seemed pleased by her ironic tone, and Azula smiled at him despite herself.
"Anyways…" she continued. "I guess I won't impose on you today. Play around in your refuge as much as you want, just try not to break the levers by pushing them too much, will you?"
Xin Long groaned before hopping around Azula and proceeding to shoot up towards the ceiling. Azula smirked at the sight of him and turned towards Sokka again, gesturing at him to leave the refuge with a jerk of her head.
"He sure seems happy," said Sokka, smiling. "So I take it you're happy too, then."
"And that means you're in a good mood as well… for you think that means you won't have to face my wrath today, right?" said Azula, raising her eyebrows.
"Well, do you have any reason to feel any wrath today?" Sokka asked, looking at her inquisitively.
"You may never know," Azula replied, enigmatically, at which Sokka just rolled his eyes and smiled.
"You're one of a kind, truly," he said, at which Azula blushed ever so slightly. Whatever his intent had been by directing that very phrase towards her, it was hard to conceal just how much it meant for her to hear him say that.
"Oh, really? Do you say so because I can terrify you without even trying?" she asked, hoping to change the subject. She really wasn't up for sensitive matters today, of all days.
"Come on," said Sokka, smiling as they walked towards the Palace gates. "Azula, there simply is no one like you and you know it. And it has nothing to do with you being capable of scaring the hell out of me…"
Sokka didn't bother noting when she had scared him most, though. Much as she hadn't wanted to approach any subject that might bring out her feelings, neither did he. Yet recalling that night, when he had held her in his arms as he ran through the Palace hallways, worrying over whether she'd ever wake up again, filled him with a terrible sense of dread. He never wanted to fear for her life as badly as he had during that night.
"It speaks well of your mental faculties that you're able to notice that, I'll say," Azula stated, proudly. "Because if you actually believed there are other people like me out there…"
"Wow," said Sokka, chuckling now. "Just imagine what that would be like, more than one Azula. You'd team up with your other selves and you'd conquer the world in ten minutes, at most."
"Sounds like fun to me," said Azula, smirking.
"Uh… Azula?" Sokka asked, raising his eyebrows as they passed through the gates and headed outside on foot. "Won't you be taking your palanquin or something, seeing as we won't ride Xin Long?"
"Bothered by a little walk, are you?" said Azula, lifting her eyebrows. "It'll take ages for them to set up the palanquin, so we're going like this. Or would you rather I get it so you're reminded of your rightful place in the world, slave?"
She said the words teasingly, but Sokka furrowed his brow regardless, shaking his head while they entered the city.
"Yeah, I'd much rather not," he said. "Though I'll say… It may be true that I don't belong in your beautiful and imposing palanquin, but I seem to recall somebody pulled me aboard it once…"
"Oh, my, who might it have been? I shall remove their head for such slight," said Azula, sarcastic and proud. Sokka couldn't help but laugh.
"Come on, you're really not going to pretend you forgot about that, are you?" he asked. "The first time I fought the Bandit you pulled me into it, I'm sure of that."
"How would you remember, if you were nigh unconscious after the combat?" Azula asked, folding her arms over her chest as she looked at Sokka with a raised eyebrow.
"I was conscious all the way until you placed me in your palanquin and… and said some stuff I can't remember," said Sokka, grimacing. "It was just a little hard to think properly after getting pummeled like that. But I know it was your palanquin!"
"You got pummeled so hard your memory is faulty, it seems to me," said Azula, proudly.
"Why, yes, my memory ought to be faulty after getting smashed like that," said Sokka. "But you, on the other hand, should recall that moment perfectly! Or is it you have selective memory all of sudden, Princess?"
Azula frowned upon Sokka's question, something he took as a bad omen. The talk of memories brought back the dream, and the teasing and playfulness between them had faded from Azula's mind upon recalling her mother's words again. A monster…
"Azula?" Sokka asked, worriedly. "Did I say something…?"
"You… you didn't do anything," she said, shaking her head. "I'm fine."
"You don't look fine, though…" said Sokka, but Azula ignored him.
Well, that was typical. Just when he thought they were fine, it turned out they weren't. What had he done? Did it bother her to talk about her palanquin? That didn't seem right, though. Whatever it was, though, she could share it with him… couldn't she?
At that thought, he realized that he was getting ahead of himself, as ever. Their relationship was in a better place than it had ever been, Sokka believed… but that didn't mean she trusted him to the point of disclosing her innermost thoughts to him. To this day, Azula remained a mystery to him in most regards… a mystery he wished he could unravel, but he feared he never would. For she was right beside him, yet she would always remain far from his reach. A Princess should never entrust her secrets to a simple slave.
They were both unusually silent on the rest of the walk towards the Arena, both lost in their own thoughts. Sokka could only worry about her, yet Azula was too busy trying to quiet her mind to take notice of his concern. The more she tried to fight the memories, the more they sought to return to her mind at full force. She sighed and pushed the Arena's doors open by herself upon reaching them, at which Sokka, and the gatekeepers, were startled.
Yet Azula froze upon stepping into the vestibule, and not because of the people who turned to look at her and Sokka in awe. Her eyes went straight towards Shoji's counter, and the motive behind her grimace was to find two other people had beaten them to the boy's counter… two other people they knew all too well.
"Eh, look at that, it's Haru!" said Sokka, beaming and eliciting a glare from his sponsor. "Hey, Ha—AAAAH!"
Sokka jumped in one foot, rubbing the other one with his hand after Azula had stomped on him powerfully enough to keep him from finishing his sentence. The gladiator hopped in one leg, glaring with indignation at his sponsor.
"What the hell was that for?!" he asked, looking at her in disbelief.
"Don't approach them just yet," said Azula, sighing. "We have… a bit of an issue regarding Ty Lee."
"Well, if it's just Ty Lee then Haru is fine, right?" said Sokka, still rubbing his aching foot.
"You'll be sure to get her attention as well if you scream like that, moron," said Azula, rolling her eyes.
"What's your problem with her, though? Did you two have a fight or something?" Sokka asked, confused.
"Not quite… that's not really it," said Azula, frowning. "The issue is that… she saw us."
Sokka raised an inquisitive eyebrow, confused by Azula's statement. The Princess frowned, slightly bothered by his inability to understand what she was referring to.
"She saw us, in her house. Remember the last time we were there, Sokka?" she asked, trying to hold back the blush that threatened to spread over her cheeks.
At last, Sokka seemed to connect the dots. He grimaced, and unlike the Princess, he couldn't avoid flushing when he recalled he had kissed her… they had left that matter behind with such unusual ease that he had almost forgotten it completely. But now the recollection of how it had felt to hold her in his arms as their lips moved together had returned to him…
"S-she saw… oh, damn," said Sokka, grimacing and gulping. "Did she say anything…?"
"She pestered me plenty about it, in fact," said Azula, sighing. "I lied to her, of course, and claimed she was simply delirious, that nothing had happened. So, you'll do the same, if she asks you anything about it. Am I clear?"
"Ah… pretend she was delirious?" Sokka repeated, shocked. "And how exactly are we supposed to tell someone that she didn't see something that she really saw?"
"By being convincing, obviously," Azula stated, raising her eyebrows before walking towards the sponsor's counter.
Sokka wasn't sure if he could accomplish the deed as easily as Azula could. He had never been that great at lying, people could see through him with ease. Would Ty Lee sense it if he dared lie about what had happened between him and Azula? But he couldn't tell the truth, that much was obvious… else Azula would set him on fire, something Sokka knew firsthand how adept she was at.
Sokka followed the Princess, telling himself to put up a proper front while dealing with Ty Lee. If he was lucky, she wouldn't even ask him anything. He could simply busy himself with talking to Haru, couldn't he? That way Ty Lee would leave him alone…
"Then we're up against the Last Dragon in a week," Ty Lee exclaimed happily, as Haru smiled at her. "Are you ready for it, Haru?"
"I hope so," said the earthbender, slightly uncomfortable.
"Don't be so coy, you'll do just…" said Ty Lee, turning to look at Haru and catching sight of someone familiar approaching the counter. "Oh, Azula!"
"Ty Lee," Azula muttered, with hardly any enthusiasm. "What a coincidence."
"Oh, hello, Princess!" said Shoji from his counter, happily.
"It really is one!" said Ty Lee, beaming at first before her eyes were clouded by irritation, and she suddenly glared at Azula, taking everyone by surprise. "Though I'm sure you're not all that happy to run into me, are you?"
"My, my, is something bothering you, Ty Lee?" Azula asked, raising her eyebrows.
"Of course!" Ty Lee squeaked, her brow furrowed. "You owe me TWO apologies! Two of them, you heard me?!"
"Two?" Azula said, confused. "To my knowledge I didn't even owe you one. What do you expect me to apologize for?"
"First, for keeping me from cashing my bet!" Ty Lee squealed. "Mai kept saying I'm crazy, and then you went and lied and now she thinks I really am crazy, and she refuses to pay up! But we both know the truth, Azula! And not just us, he knows it too!"
And with that, she pointed at Sokka, who stared at her stretched finger as though it were compromising his very existence.
"Of course," said Azula, rolling her eyes. "And pray tell, what exactly is the other thing I should be apologizing for?"
Now Ty Lee's anger turned to sadness, it seemed, and Azula could only stare at her in utter shock. What on earth was the matter with this girl?
"Y-you… you went off to Fire Fountain City all by yourself and you didn't invite me!" she screamed, indignant again now. "Why didn't you tell me?! It would have been so much fun for us to go on a trip together! When was the last time we did that, huh?!"
Azula's face was a blank mask now that Ty Lee had revealed the reasoning behind her requests for apologies. Well, at least it wasn't anything serious… though she hadn't expected it to be anything serious in the first place anyways. Yet she wasn't planning on apologizing for either thing, not now, not ever.
"I can scarcely remember, Ty Lee, but I'm not here to reminisce on old trips," she muttered. "Shoji, where are we in the ranking now?"
"Oh, come on, don't change the subject! It's not fair, Azula! Why didn't you ask us to come with you?" Ty Lee continued. "Where's the fun in taking part in those events all on your own?"
"Why, I assure you, it would have been quite fun if it had been just us," said Azula, smirking. "That way all the points would have gone to Sokka…"
"Wha-…? Oh, I see," said Ty Lee, folding her arms over her chest as Shoji read the list of gladiators quickly. "So you didn't want us to participate because you thought Haru would beat you guys?"
"I rather doubt he would have been that efficient, really, considering his track record," said Azula. "And you should be glad you didn't attend, really. If Haru had been there, he probably would have been the one who knocked my father's statue over."
The earthbender blushed and lowered his gaze, quite embarrassed by the Princess's words. Ty Lee only grimaced, which told Azula that the girl was aware of what had happened to the statue.
"Right…" the girl muttered, finally speechless, to Azula's relief.
"You are currently in the 258th position, Princess!" exclaimed Shoji, happily. "That's quite the boost you got there, with those four hundred points."
"What, you're that high already?!" Ty Lee asked, scandalized. "You've left us far behind, then?"
"Well, not that far…" said Shoji, looking at the ranking with expert eye again.
"It's still a lot, though…" muttered Sokka, amazed. "We're almost on the top half of the ranking, Azula!"
"Indeed," she said, nodding. "And we'd better make it to the top half as soon as possible. What challenges do we have, Shoji?"
"Oh, uh, nothing that might interest you much…" said the boy, shrugging. "All your new challengers are beneath you in the ranking yet again… and then there's the Stingray. He's sent another one yet again."
"He never gives up, does he?" Azula noted, frowning. "Why on earth is he so insistent?"
"I have no idea," said Shoji, shrugging. "Maybe you could accept the challenge just to quiet him down…"
"Is that advisable?" Sokka asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Well, if you beat him he'd likely stop pestering you guys for a while," said Shoji. "That's the way it usually works with persistent challengers."
"Of course," said Azula, sighing. "When does he want to fight us?"
"In two weeks," said Shoji. "Though, well… if you're going to take it, I think I ought to advise…"
"Two weeks!" Ty Lee exclaimed, interrupting the boy. "That's perfect!"
"Perfect why?" Azula asked, frowning. What did her challenge have to do with Ty Lee's outburst?
"Because Haru and I will be heading off to Ember Island in a week for his next fight!" she stated, beaming.
"And that's relevant how…?" Azula asked, raising an eyebrow now. Oh, why did Ty Lee have to bring up Ember Island, of all places…?
"See, if you didn't want to invite us to that event, that's fine…" said Ty Lee, although it didn't seem it was truly fine to her. "But since I'm not as picky and mean as you are, then I'm inviting you two to come with us to Ember Island in a week!"
"Huh?!" said Azula, shocked. "Ember Island…? Why on earth, Ty Lee…?"
"It'll be fun, you'll see!" Ty Lee squeaked, excitedly. "Just as our last trip to Ember Island!"
"I don't think that was so much fun, if I'm to be perfectly honest…" said Azula, frowning.
"Oh, come on, you set Chan's house on fire!" Ty Lee exclaimed.
"Ah, well… that part was fun, I won't bother denying it" said Azula, with a proud smirk, while Sokka looked at her in disbelief.
"See?" said Ty Lee. "It'll be amazing! And Sokka surely wants to go, doesn't he?"
"W-well, I…" said Sokka, freezing for a moment as he considered the idea. "I guess it could be fun, after all."
"Wait, what?!" said Azula, startled. "You want to go?"
"My only visit to the island didn't end that well, if you might recall," he said, with a weak smile. "And there were plenty of places I didn't get to see. It might be fun to go again, we can take our time to enjoy the trip better now, don't you think?"
Azula looked at him in utter shock. She had no idea Sokka wanted to go to Ember Island again, and discovering as much wasn't going to help her cause in the slightest. She didn't want to visit the darned place, especially not when every little thing was leading her thoughts towards her mother lately… going to Ember Island promised she wouldn't be able to get Ursa off her mind at all.
"Oho, then it's perfect!" said Ty Lee, smirking, and Azula glared at her.
"Just a moment, now… what are you plotting, Ty Lee?" Azula grunted, angrily.
"Oh, nothing at all, I just want to spend quality time with my friends!" she exclaimed, but upon Azula's glare she decided to give up her actual thoughts. "… or maybe I want to prove I'm not crazy by catching you two red-handed?"
"Ridiculous," said Azula, rolling her eyes.
"Come on," Ty Lee insisted. "You can't keep denying it! And if you will, then at least he'll admit that I saw the real thing that night!"
"I… you… I don't think so, no," said Sokka, gulping and crossing his arms over his chest. "I don't know what you saw, but… but you must have been seeing things. It was pretty dark, so…"
Ty Lee frowned, looking at Sokka pointedly. Azula could be a convincing liar… but Sokka definitely wasn't. He wasn't being truthful, that much was obvious, and surely by Azula's command… for if nothing had happened, as they both kept claiming, Sokka wouldn't even know what Ty Lee was talking about. If he denied the kiss as he did, then it was probably because Azula had told him to. And Ty Lee could see in his eyes that he wished he weren't denying it at all. Something seemed to break within her at the sight, and she realized just why Sokka couldn't admit he had kissed Azula… and why Azula couldn't admit having kissed Sokka either.
"Huh, I… I see, then," she said, her eyes overflowing with tears, which garnered her another look of utter confusion and disbelief from Azula.
"What the hell? Why are you crying now?!" she asked.
"I-it's nothing, I just have something in my eye…" said Ty Lee, sniffing. "B-but alright, I guess I won't bother you two anymore. But still… don't you think going to Ember Island might be fun, Azula? I mean… it's the beach, and there are so many cute shops, and so many wonderful things to do…!"
Azula frowned. Even if Ty Lee's intent was only to spend time with friends, it didn't change the fact that she didn't want to travel to Ember Island, especially not now…
"I don't think so, Ty Lee," Azula stated. "Sokka and I just got back from another trip, and I wouldn't go to Ember Island unless I actually had a good reason to…"
She stopped on her tracks upon that thought. Maybe she did have a reason to go there… no, there was no doubt about it, she had a pretty good reason to accept Ty Lee's request. Ah, but she still didn't want to…
"I do think it could be fun…" said Sokka, sighing. "But if Azula doesn't want to, then I guess we're not going."
"Well, you could always tag along on your own…" said Ty Lee, shrugging.
"Uh… I don't think so," said Sokka, grimacing. He wasn't about to accept traveling as Ty Lee and Haru's third wheel, not in a million years. "It probably wouldn't be as much fun if she's not going as well."
Again Ty Lee stared at Sokka as though he had just made the revelation of the century. Sokka was startled by her reaction, all the same as everyone else… but they were about to be startled by something else.
"Well… if you're all this insistent on the matter, we might as well do it," Azula muttered, having ignored the exchange between Ty Lee and Sokka just a moment ago.
"W-wait… What?! Y-you're doing it just because he said it wouldn't be fun without you?!" Ty Lee squeaked, her hands going to her mouth as she looked at Azula in awe.
"Wha-…? No! Don't misunderstand!" Azula said, grimacing. "Of course not! I just… I remembered I have a reason to go to Ember Island, something completely unrelated to your ridiculous motives or to Sokka's random blabbering. Stop jumping to conclusions. I'm not doing this for his sake."
Sokka was surprised by her harshness, but he didn't miss the fact that Azula had blushed slightly. Perhaps she really had a reason to do this, he couldn't put it past her, for most things Azula did had an underlying motive… yet she couldn't help but react when Ty Lee suggested she might do it for him. He smiled weakly, but tried not to make himself too noticeable, much as Haru could do with such ease. The earthbender stood beside his sponsor, only looking back and forth between the two girls as they argued regarding this unexpected group trip to Ember Island.
"Sure thing," said Ty Lee, giggling. "Oh, well, never mind your reasons! Then we're going to do this?"
"I suppose..." said Azula, rolling her eyes and turning towards Shoji. "Accept that challenge from the Stingray, will you?"
"W-why, sure, I… I guess," said Shoji, gulping. There were a few things he ought to have explained about that particular fighter first, though…
"Well, then, I guess we're done here," said Azula, sighing and walking towards the door again, and the other three walked with her.
"So you'll do it? You'll do it, Azula?!" Ty Lee chattered, happily. "Oh, yes! This is perfect! It'll be the best vacation ever!"
"But I have a fight…" said Haru. It wasn't going to be much of a vacation for him, was it?
"Oh, don't worry, dear," said Ty Lee, smiling. "Your fight won't take too long, you'll see! We'll just have lots of fun the rest of the time!"
"That sounds promising," said Azula, rolling her eyes. She imagined just what sort of fun Ty Lee was looking forward to, and she was certain the only thing Ty Lee's fun would bring her was discomfort.
"Ah, I have to ask Mai if she wants to come!" Ty Lee exclaimed excitedly, breaking into a sprint as she headed outside. "Oh, and Zuko too, surely he's got nothing better to do!"
"Wha-…? Zuko?!" Azula exclaimed, grimacing. "Don't you dare ask him to come! Ty Lee!"
But by the time Azula had finished talking, Ty Lee had already jumped out the door, with Haru tailing her closely. The girl likely hadn't heard Azula's last demand… and even if she had, she was only bound to ignore it. Azula's eyebrow twitched as her hands balled into fists. Going on a trip with her brother sure would be oh, so fun…
"Promise you won't tell anyone where I hid her body if I kill her during this trip," Azula muttered at Sokka as they passed the doors together.
"Hide her body?" Sokka asked, raising an eyebrow. "Now, Azula… what's the point of doing that? Aren't you Fire Nation people renowned for burning your dead? If she's a pile of ashes, it'll be harder for people to find out she's dead to begin with. Isn't that way more convenient…?"
Azula even surprised herself by laughing at his response as they walked down the steps back to the streets. Sokka couldn't keep from smiling at her.
"I've broken you, haven't I?" she asked, still chuckling. "Instead of telling me not to kill her, you're advising me on how to do it?"
"Well, if you're going to do it, you'd better do it right, don't you think?" he said, smirking at her.
Azula shook her head in disbelief as they kept walking. It was truly impressive just how easy he had it to cheer her up when she was distraught or irritated.
"But, say, what's that reason of yours for going to Ember Island?" Sokka asked. "Were you serious about that or did you just agree because we have nothing better to do for now?"
"I do have a reason… though you don't need to understand what it is," said Azula. "I guess I'll explain after I do it."
"So secretive, really," said Sokka, biting his lower lip as he looked at her sideways with concern. "Say… Azula."
"What?" she asked, surprised by the sudden seriousness in his tone. She halted and looked at him, for he had also stopped on his tracks.
"I…" he started, gulping. What was the point in saying this, really? She wouldn't take it well, probably, and even if she didn't dismiss his concerns for her as if they were unimportant, it didn't mean she would open up to him just because he asked. But it was better to say it now rather, than swallowing his feelings and letting the matter slide, wasn't it? "I've just noticed you seem a bit… troubled, maybe? I don't know what it is..."
"Oh?" Azula muttered, looking at him with unjustified skepticism. Of course she was troubled… and it was quite a surprise that he had been able to pick up on that. "You think something's bothering me?"
"I… do," said Sokka, gulping nervously. "You're acting slightly different than usual today, so… well, if anything's happened to you, you can tell me about it. If you want to. I mean, I get it if you don't, but if you did, I… well, I'd be more than glad to hear you out."
"No matter what it is that bugs me?" Azula asked, a hand on her hip. "Even if you were the problem, you'd want to hear me complain about you?"
Sokka chuckled at that.
"I think you already do that every time you feel like it, and I've never failed to listen, or have I?"
"True enough," said Azula, smiling a little.
"Am I the problem, though?" Sokka asked, stepping towards her. "Because if I did something…"
"I told you already, you… you didn't do anything," said Azula, and Sokka didn't fail to notice she moved away, keeping the distance between them. "But I'll take your offer into account. If I ever feel like disclosing my innermost thoughts to you, then I might do so… well, so long as you can take them, that is."
"You think I can't?" Sokka asked, folding his arms over his chest again. "How many times have you underestimated me and regretted it, Princess?"
"Plenty, just as often as the times you've disappointed me completely," said Azula, shrugging carelessly as she resumed her walk.
"W-well, but that hasn't happened that often lately, has it?" Sokka asked, grimacing nervously as he struggled to keep up with her. Azula only smiled again.
"Then it's probably about time it happens again, don't you think?" she asked, and now Sokka pouted.
"Wow, you really don't trust me, do you?" he muttered, apparently hurt, but she only laughed once more.
She appreciated his offer, of course she did… and perhaps she would be inclined to share her load of problems with him, given that he had proven himself plenty of times as of late, but not when it was related to this particular issue. For Azula couldn't bring herself to speak about her mother easily with anyone, not even if it was the person she got along best with.
And it was especially because Sokka had once hated her… Sokka had seen the worst in her plenty of times already. His feelings towards her had changed now, apparently, and she wanted to keep it that way… she wanted him to remain her partner, she wanted laugh with him, to spend time training with him…
But that illusion was only bound to shatter if he discovered the secrets she concealed deep within herself. Every time someone saw the truth she disguised beneath her façade, they left her side to never return. Her mother, Lu Ten… both had known it, and both had left her forever upon understanding her true nature. And for some reason, the sole thought of Sokka abandoning her in the same way brought unparalleled dread to her mind. It produced an anxiety she couldn't placate… so she refused to open up to him, not when it came to this. Not when she feared he would side with Ursa if he knew… for what mother would ever come to hate her own child? The only reason why she would have treated Azula as she did was because Ursa had seen the truth about Azula, and Azula wouldn't bear it if Sokka as well came to discover said truth. She wouldn't know what to do if he came to believe she was a monster.