A jolt of pain awoke him, though it took him a moment to realize he wasn't asleep anymore. His right arm felt numb, somewhat. And yet again, it took him a moment to realize why that was.
His eyes opened slowly, and he would have rubbed them to make his eyesight less blurry, but both his hands were occupied, it seemed. But once he managed to focus his gaze on the figure before him, all his confusion was swept away immediately.
His heart began racing when he looked at her, sleeping so soundly in his arms. It wasn't the first time he had seen her sleep… yet it almost felt as though it was. He had been close to her before, but never like this. His numb arm was surrounding her waist, keeping her close to him all the same as her legs still held him close to her. They had fallen asleep in this very position, and it seemed they hadn't moved away from each other through the night. Sokka found he was glad for that, though. The last thing he wanted was for Azula to jump away from him because he had drooled all over the pillow or rolled around in bed, his limbs all over the place… thankfully, neither of those things had happened. He sure hoped it wouldn't happen the next time they…
The next time, though? He gritted his teeth and closed his eyes again upon that thought. There wasn't supposed to be another time… this one alone had already been too much, it was so much more than he should have ever had with Azula. It had been one slipup, one they both had agreed on because it was needed… because Azula had deserved to know the truth about herself. She needed to understand what an amazing person she was in his eyes…
He pressed his forehead against hers, sighing. He could see her beautiful features all too clearly now… it was already dawn. The sun was still rising, for the light that drifted into the room wasn't too strong just yet… but the night they had shared, that single night, was already over. And despite himself, he could only be disappointed. He needed more of this… even though this wasn't about what he might need. But being this close to her was fascinating, exhilarating. He needed to hold her if only for a little longer… if only until she woke up. By then he'd let her go, by then he'd do something about his numb arm…
Though he rather doubted he'd do something about what had actually woken him painfully in the first place. He grimaced as another shudder from his dissatisfied groin shook him. This little problem wasn't part of the plan… and he doubted he would get the solution he wanted for it. He tried to ignore it, for he could worry about it later, once Azula wasn't in his arms anymore…
Sokka's eyes raked her figure slowly, taking in every detail about her in this very moment. Her hair was quite ruffled after the night they had spent together, and her lips seemed chapped. He found himself smiling weakly when he realized they had fallen asleep in their clothes. He truly hoped none of the others had found out…
Well, chances were they wouldn't have. If someone had entered this room through the night, he probably would have noticed. Yet that didn't mean nobody could come inside later, and if they did, chaos would ensue if they were caught like this…
He gasped and shuddered again. The situation in his groin was becoming a lot less pleasant than he had expected it to be… He breathed heavily and turned his attention towards the Princess again. She hadn't woken up yet… for her, it was still night, wasn't it? For her, this wasn't over just yet…
Excusing himself with that idea, although he felt quite foolish by making excuses in the first place, Sokka leaned in again and caressed her lips with his own as softly as possible. He didn't want to wake her… but he really wanted to kiss her one last time before this was over. He didn't want to part from her, uncertain if he would ever have another chance to do this…
Kissing her was addictive, he simply couldn't get enough of it. He needed to keep doing it… he couldn't pull away. Nobody had ever held such power over him… nobody had the undeniable influence on him that she did. No other woman had ever made him forget himself and the world around him like this… for she was the only one he had ever come to love in this way, of course. And truly, was this love? He had cared for his family, and he had seen other people who claimed to be in love before… but the passion he felt for the woman in his arms seemed beyond everything he had ever deemed love before. Was it more than love, then? Had anyone even come up with a word that could come close to what he felt for Azula?
All he wanted was to touch her face, to slide his hands through her hair and to smile brightly at her as they woke up. He wanted to stay in bed with her, to talk to her more, to make her laugh one way or another…
Azula stirred slightly, and Sokka's illusions were shattered when her movements brought him back to reality. No, there was no chance that his wishes would come to happen. She wasn't his. She had never been meant to be his…
Azula grimaced as she woke, for her head was pounding powerfully. Ah, there it was, another reason why she hated crying…
As she came to her senses, she realized her hand was gripping another, and she didn't figure out what that meant right away. She opened her eyes slowly and found his, and she found herself looking at him, almost in disbelief. So last night hadn't been a dream… everything had been true, every last thing. He had promised her he would stay, and here he was…
"Morning," he said, with a weak smile.
Azula blushed slightly and nodded before shifting her position, releasing him from the grip of her legs. Sokka couldn't hide his disappointment, yet he pulled away nonetheless, rubbing his right arm once Azula's weight wasn't pressing down on it.
"How are you feeling?" he asked, as he felt warmth spreading through his now free arm.
"I… the headache's still there," Azula said, gritting her teeth. "I don't know why."
"I don't know if we slept that much, really…" said Sokka, glancing over at her quickly. "It's only dawn now, see…"
"I see," Azula replied, looking at him sideways as he continued massaging his arm. "Is it numb?"
"A little," he said, with a weak smile. "But I'll be fine."
"I'd hope," she said. "You've been through some awful situations, put up with terrible injuries and yet you'd lose your arm because you…?"
"Because you slept atop it? Well, considering just how whimsical my fortune is, I would hardly be surprised," he said, chuckling as she blushed at the memory of what had happened between them the night before. "In all honesty, losing a limb to you would be better than losing it to anyone else…"
"In all honesty, it's better you don't lose it at all," she said, as he smiled and sat up.
He flinched when he did, his groin sending him more unpleasant messages he couldn't suppress. Azula frowned when she heard him whimper weakly.
"What are you…? Are you alright?" she asked, pushing herself up with her elbows as well.
"I, uh, I'm fine…" he said, smiling in a manner that wasn't compliant with his words. "I just realized that, uh… that you had to sleep on a very small bed and with company, on top of it all! And when you're used to that bed that's so big you could fit a whole family in it…"
"Uh… a small bed and unexpected company are still better than sleeping on the ground in the middle of a forest, or than sleeping in a cave," Azula pointed out, at which Sokka looked at her with surprise.
"Oh… well, you're right about that, of course…" he said, blushing a little as he scratched his head nervously.
It was slightly amusing for Azula to see Sokka behaving in such manner. He was hardly ever shy or nervous… it seemed last night's developments had also been quite a surprise for him. Well, he deserved no less for being so foolish and pulling through with whatever felt right instead of thinking things through… but truly, Azula was glad he hadn't been thinking straight last night. She was glad she hadn't thought straight either. For the first time in her life she had allowed herself to be vulnerable before someone else… and surprisingly, it hadn't ended badly. If anything, it had ended exactly as she had needed it to.
Did Sokka have the slightest clue of what his actions from last night had meant to her? Azula couldn't help but wonder if he did as she watched him stretching, still sitting on the bed as he cast her nervous glances.
"Uh, well, I guess I… I ought to go to my room," he muttered, startling her.
"You… what?"
"Well… we took quite a big risk with this without even knowing it," he said, smiling with unease. "For all we knew, one of them could have walked in on us in the middle of the night..."
"Don't say it that way, you're making it sound as if we had been…" Azula muttered, lowering her gaze as her face flushed yet again.
"You know what I mean," he said, chuckling and climbing off the bed. "It's still early, so they're probably not up yet… but if I stay here, and they see us leaving your room together…"
"Misunderstandings will ensue," said Azula, nodding.
"Yeah… and I take it you don't want Ty Lee to make a fuss about us being together again, do you?" said Sokka, biting his lip.
"I sure don't… though if she wants to win that bet of hers, she'd never be closer to winning it than now."
"Bet?" Sokka asked, raising an eyebrow.
"I hadn't told you…? Why, Mai and Ty Lee have been holding a bet about us," Azula said, and a pleasant shiver went down Sokka's spine upon hearing her speak of them as 'us'. "It's why Ty Lee is so desperate to catch us… well, in the act, as she puts it. If she ever proves we're involved in one way or another, she wins the bet."
"Weird that your friends would bet on your love life…" said Sokka before sighing. "Though considering what your friends are like, I'm not really that surprised. No wonder you lied to Ty Lee about that kiss… you don't want her to win that bet."
"Well, to be honest, in what regards that bet… it's not my money she'd take," said Azula, shrugging. "She could win it or lose it, it's not my business either way."
"Really, now?" Sokka asked, surprised. Well, he knew Azula had more important reasons to keep them from being together than some simple bet between her friends…
"Why would it be?" Azula asked, pushing herself all the way to a sitting position.
"Well, that bet sounds like the sort of stuff that would displease you, so I just thought that maybe…" he said, as his eyes locked with hers.
They both fell silent for an instant, exchanging a glance that told them both just why Azula didn't seem to care about the bet anymore. Why she didn't care if Ty Lee won it or lost it. Why she was growing convinced the girl had already won it…
But the moment was brusquely interrupted when Sokka's wasted erection sent another jolt through his body. Azula frowned as he flinched again, and this time she realized what the problem was when she caught sight of the noticeable bulge between his legs.
"Sokka…" she said, her eyes widening.
"Ah, please, never mind that, I… this is really common with men, you know?!" he said, shaking his head. "We're disgusting and weird, I know you must think so…!"
"I didn't say… are you alright?" she said. "It looked like it was hurting you…"
"Uh… no, none of that," he said, smiling. "I'll be fine, Azula. I… I can put up with this, really. There's no need for you to worry about me."
Azula raised an eyebrow and looked at him inquisitively before dropping her gaze again.
"Whatever you say…" she said, shrugging. Well, she really wouldn't have known how to help him with his current problem in the first place…
"I, uh… guess we'll probably talk more about this later on, if you… if you want, or need to," he said, unsure if Azula's behavior meant she was shutting him off again, even after everything that had happened between them during the past few hours. "You'll be fine if I go, right?"
"Who do you take me for?" Azula asked, with a weak smile. "I'm better now. I get what you mean, it's probably better if you take off. I don't want any weird rumors spreading about what happened here… I'm sure everyone and anyone would assume we did what we didn't do, and if we can avoid that sort of trouble it'll be for the best."
"Yeah…" said Sokka, nodding. "At least if it really had happened…"
"Well, it didn't," said Azula, shaking her head and trying not to sound too disappointed. "So I'm not going to put up with false accusations of any sort."
"It won't be necessary for you to do that, don't worry," said Sokka, a hand on the doorknob. "Say, uh… get more sleep if you can. It might help with the headache."
"I'll try," Azula said, looking at him one last time.
Their gazes were engaged once more, and Sokka's heart thumped so hard he was sure Azula could hear it. Was it longing he saw in her eyes…? Could she see he bore the same wistful desire in his?
He dropped his hand suddenly, surprising her as he walked back towards her.
"I'm sorry…" he said, sitting again on the bed, right before her. "I… I really am."
"W-what are you…?" Azula said, unsure of what he was apologizing for.
"I know I said… I know it was only supposed to be one night, and I meant to keep it that way, but…" he said, gritting his teeth. "But I'm too weak, I think, I… I really am sorry, but I just…"
His hands cupped her face gently before he leaned in to take another kiss from her lips. Ah… so he was apologizing in advance for this, was it? Well… he might not know it, but she sure wouldn't mind accepting apologies before kisses more often.
Azula's hands fell on his chest again as she closed her eyes and kissed him back feverishly. Now there was no excuse… not at all. She wasn't crying, he didn't have to comfort her… and he didn't have to love her anymore, for he had promised he'd do it just for one night. So why was he kissing her now? Either it meant his feelings were true… or it meant he had enjoyed kissing her. Whichever it was, though, it hardly mattered to Azula. She pulled closer as their kiss deepened again, as it had so many times through the night. Sokka's hands moved down to her waist, and all he could have ever wanted was to keep going… but no, it wasn't supposed to be him, it couldn't be him… he wasn't a good enough man for her. He needed to become a better one if he was to ever deserve her…
They panted lightly as they parted, and Sokka caressed her face gently again.
"I… I'll see you later," he muttered, knowing that if he stayed one more second it would become impossible for Azula to deny having been deflowered by him… it was already taking up all his willpower not to push her down on the mattress to finish what they had started before.
"Right…" she said now, and somehow it seemed she wasn't so disappointed anymore. Knowing Sokka's interest in her had lasted through the night was beyond relieving for her.
He leaned in and pecked her lips gently one last time before moving away. Azula actually found herself smiling as he left the room. Her hand went to her lips and she closed her eyes, hardly capable of believing everything that had happened in such short notice. She sighed and dropped on the mattress again, thinking it was too early to get up anyways… she drew out plans in her mind to take a bath once she did, for she sure could use one after such a hectic day…
She turned on the bed and found Sokka's scent still lingered on the side of the bed he had slept in. Hoping deeply he wouldn't come back into her room to find her behaving so embarrassingly, she rolled over to where he had lain earlier, wishing to feel his presence with her even if only for a little longer…
Sokka rolled over in bed for hours, it seemed, and yet no matter which position he took, he was unable to fall asleep again. And it was probably because he found it impossible to ignore the irritating problem on his groin…
"Ugh, why was I born with a penis…?" he asked himself at a certain point, before his hands flew up to his mouth in horror. Thank goodness nobody else had heard that.
The bed he was sitting on – for he had ended up sitting with his back against the wall, once he gave up on his hopes to get any more sleep for the time being – felt too big even though it was smaller than his bed back at his house. It seemed a waste of space for him to be the only one to occupy it…
His thoughts couldn't stay away from Azula, not for a second. Everything she had told him last night, every expression he had seen on her face, it all played back in his mind repeatedly, filling him with an urge to run back to her room and tell her he couldn't have only one night… but it would be for the best if he didn't. It should be for the best. He may have to endure wasted erections for the rest of his life, but it didn't matter. He loved her… and loving her meant understanding her needs, to put her before him in every way. Whether she felt the same way towards him or not wasn't important… it never had been. His love for her wouldn't change, even if she didn't reciprocate his feelings. So long as he could remain by her side, he needed nothing more.
He had no idea how long he remained there, sitting with his back against the wall, watching the sun rising through the window at the other side of the room. It seemed that thinking about her was the best way to make him lose track of time. He was quite relieved when the stings down on his groin began dwindling, decreasing in strength, until they finally vanished. He sighed and smiled, hoping his arousal wouldn't come back any time soon. Yet it was really a miracle that he wouldn't spend his days with a constant hard-on while being around Azula, as shameful as it was to admit it to himself…
He heard sounds outside, in the hallway, and it didn't take him long to recognize the voices of their traveling companions. He didn't quite understand what they were saying, but it sounded as though they had gone down to the first floor… surely they were off to make breakfast. Sokka couldn't help but wonder if he'd have to go out to buy food for himself… after the punch he had landed on Zuko's face, chances were the others would want him to apologize… ah, but he didn't feel like apologizing for anything, let alone to Zuko. Let alone now, when he had discovered so much about Azula that he had never known before.
He resolved to wait a little longer before heading downstairs, though when his stomach began roaring he sighed and decided it was time to get moving. He dressed up quickly before heading out of his room, determined to keep his head held high. He was proud of what he had done! He had every right to do what he did…! Though, truth to be told, maybe it should have been Azula who had punched her brother for being so senseless towards her… but it had been up to Sokka to do it right then and there. And he didn't regret having done as much.
When he arrived in the kitchen, he found Ty Lee and Haru busy cooking while Zuko sat by a table, his jaw bandaged. Despite himself, Sokka gulped at the sight. The Prince was bound to try to get even now, he could see it happening…
But to his surprise, Zuko caught his eye and simply nodded curtly towards him. Sokka looked back at him, puzzled. That wasn't what he had expected, not at all…
"Oh, you're awake?" Ty Lee asked, biting her lip as she looked at him. It seemed she also expected a fist fight to arise between Sokka and Zuko now.
"Yeah, and hungry…" said Sokka, with a foolish grin. "When an empty stomach won't let you sleep, you've got to do something about it."
"True enough," said Haru, smiling at him as Sokka took a seat at the table.
Ty Lee and Haru muttered amongst themselves, likely about whatever it was they were cooking, and Sokka simply gazed at Zuko with concern. The Prince's eyes weren't full of anger, as he would have expected… there was something odd about him. Sokka frowned and crossed his arms over his chest, wondering if Zuko would tell him anything, but, oddly enough, it seemed there was nothing he wanted to say right now.
"It's odd Azula isn't up yet…" said Ty Lee, setting down the plates with food at the table. "She's always out of bed right on time, not a minute sooner, not a minute later…"
"Maybe she's sleeping in because we're on vacation...?" Haru suggested, shrugging.
"Maybe," said Ty Lee. "But… shouldn't we wake her up? Or do you think she's…?"
"She's what?" Sokka asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Well, she was… she was pretty upset last night, when we last saw her," Ty Lee muttered. "You followed her, didn't you? Do you think she's still mad at… well, us?"
"Uh… I… I really don't know," said Sokka, smiling a little and shrugging. "But you know what she's like. She just needed some time to relax and forget about everything… she might be feeling better now."
"Should we risk it, though?" said Ty Lee, grimacing. "I don't want to annoy her… maybe we should just wait until she gets up."
"Well… maybe I could go," Zuko muttered, his voice deep. "It might be better if I talk to her and not you…"
Sokka raised an eyebrow and looked at him in confusion. What had led Zuko to believe that Azula would rather talk to him than Ty Lee? And going by their reactions, it seemed the others thought the very same thing Sokka had.
"You?" Haru said, blinking in surprise. "Are you sure about that…?"
"Yeah, maybe that's not a good idea either," said Ty Lee, smiling weakly.
"You know what? I think I ought to do it," said Sokka, sighing and standing up from the table. "I'll be back in a bit, hopefully."
He didn't allow anyone to talk back to him for his decision, and it seemed nobody would anyways. The unspoken consensus amongst them now was that, out of all of them, the one who was closest to Azula was him, and thus, he was the one with a better chance at waking her up without ending up with his butt scorched for his troubles. Though he just might get it scorched anyways...
Yet as Sokka climbed up towards the second story of the building, he found himself gulping nervously. There was too much to talk about with Azula, and he wasn't sure if he was ready for it just yet. He wasn't sure if she would ever be ready, truth to be told. And if he found her asleep still he might just end up climbing into bed with her…
Sokka shook his head and breathed deeply. This was no time for being stupid. The chance that someone might come upstairs to check on them was even bigger now, and if they found him kissing her or doing anything else, they'd be in the middle of a serious crisis. So he had to stop thinking about her that way… if only for a few minutes, for he doubted he'd manage to restrain himself for much longer than that. He probably wouldn't even be able to restrain himself for that long anyways.
He reached her door and sighed. It was just knocking on the door and checking on her, nothing more than that…
But just when his knuckles were about to touch the wood, the door swung inwards.
Azula stood before him, carrying clothes and a towel under her arm, and she looked at him in surprise. Whatever was he doing before her door…?
"A-ah, so you're up!" Sokka said, jumping back and lowering his hand. "Good to know, they were worried about you downstairs, so…"
"They?" Azula repeated, with a raised eyebrow until she figured what he meant. "Worried about me? Why?"
"Well, they… they kind of figured you were still mad at them," said Sokka, shrugging.
"Oh? So they actually cared about me storming off? It wasn't just… you?" Azula asked, surprised.
"Ah, well… no, not just me, it seems," Sokka said, nervously. "And well, breakfast is all ready, so…"
"Huh… well, I'm off to take a bath first, if you don't mind," Azula said, stepping out of the room. "I can heat up the food myself if there's any need for that."
"Oh, right… firebender," said Sokka, smiling awkwardly still. "S-say… are you feeling well now? How about the headache…?"
"It's gone now, finally," Azula said, before her eyes went down to Sokka's groin. "And how about your little friend…?"
"M-my…?" Sokka said, blushing at first before frowning in irritation. "Now, wait just a minute, he's not little!"
His defensive attitude made Azula laugh, despite herself. Sokka seemed to be fuming now, looking at her in foolish irritation.
"If you say so…" she muttered, still smiling.
"Putting that mishap aside, though, Azula…" he said, his attitude changing again as he became a little more serious. "Are you really okay? After all that…"
"I'm… fine, actually," replied Azula. "To my surprise, I'm feeling fine. I probably shouldn't be. I should be angry beyond belief for all the things you made me spill last night, but…"
"Hey, I didn't make you spill anything," Sokka said, at which she smiled.
"True… I just began rambling," she acknowledged, shaking her head. "It must have been really weird for you…"
"Nah, it wasn't," said Sokka, smiling and shrugging. "I mean, it was unexpected that you'd finally talk to me about things you've never talked of before… because I take it nobody else knew about that, am I right?"
"Indeed," said Azula. "It's the first time I say anything about it, to anyone. I half-expected you to think I was crazy and to turn on your heels immediately, but… you didn't."
"Why would I have done something like that?" Sokka asked, with a weak smile.
"Well… you should know now why I expected you to do it." Azula said, shrugging.
"But I suppose now you know better than to think so lowly of yourself, don't you…?" said Sokka.
"What? Me, thinking lowly of myself? As if that were possible…" Azula said, lifting her head proudly and making him chuckle.
"Very well, then… so, we're good?" Sokka asked.
"Why wouldn't we be?" was Azula's reply, frowning. "If anything…"
"I mean, well… that deal we made a while back, I just keep breaking it time after time," he said, scratching his head and looking at her apologetically.
"Oh? Well, I'm almost getting used to it now, truth to be told," Azula said, smiling. "You're incorrigible, always have been and always will be. It's part of what I have to deal with for choosing you as my gladiator."
"You make it sound as if it were such a bad thing…" Sokka said, smirking.
Azula looked at him, unable to hold back a smile of her own. This was something she never expected to have… she had never even dreamt of it, for all along she had thought herself to be a monster. Yet here stood that irritating Water Tribe man, smiling in a way in which nobody else had ever smiled at her before. He had held her, kissed her and loved her as well… he had granted her a chance to believe she could be loved for who she was. And even if nobody else ever would… at least he did, once. At least he cared for her. And for now, that was enough for her. It was something she didn't want to discard, no matter what.
"Yeah… maybe it's not," she agreed, nodding towards him before walking off through the hall, heading towards the bathroom.
Sokka's heart was racing again after Azula's last words. He had almost expected her to threaten him into never telling anyone about what had happened between them… which would have been unnecessary, for there was little chance Sokka would tell anyone about this. He had also thought she would tell him not to look forward to anything else, that he had already gotten more than he deserved… but instead, she had simply smiled at him and agreed with his flirty comment. She hadn't stifled the possibility of something else being born between them… even though she should have. They both knew that, if they dared move on any further than this, their lives could easily turn into a living hell…
But maybe that was Azula's logic after all. Maybe she didn't plan on moving any further… she wanted them to remain as they currently were. And if Sokka thought about it calmly, that wouldn't be so bad… granted he might have to endure a few more wasted erections if something remotely similar to last night repeated itself, but the pain was definitely worth it, if it came to Azula.
He let out a happy sigh before shaking his head and trying to act normal. The others would pick up on his weird behavior if he was too happy… but it was hard to keep himself in check. Despite he had told her it was for one night, for he knew he didn't deserve more, Azula didn't want to stop at that…
He walked towards the stairs, his hands on his pockets as these thoughts coursed through his mind, filling him with unprecedented joy. Oh, well, he would come up with a good excuse for the others when they saw the stupid smile on his face…
After soaking in the bathtub for longer than usual, Azula had dressed up and headed down towards the kitchen, hoping it would be empty by now. She honestly didn't feel like dealing with her brother at the moment, and if Ty Lee was there, she'd probably tell her off for having stormed away through the beach last night. Those thoughts weren't too bothersome, truth to be told, for Azula was in too good a mood to care if her friend nagged her or not. And precisely because she was in such a good mood after being so irritable throughout the trip, Azula hoped to remain by herself for the time being. She knew Ty Lee would pry into what didn't concern her…
But her luck had been too good to last, it seemed, for Ty Lee was waiting in the kitchen, and she looked at Azula with guilt-ridden eyes when she saw her. Azula raised an eyebrow as she walked towards the table, where her plate awaited her.
"Hey…" Ty Lee muttered, sitting beside her once Azula had taken her seat. "I hope you like it. It's not exactly perfect, but I did my best with it…"
"It'll be good enough, I think," said Azula, casting confused glances at her friend. "What's the matter with you?"
"I… I think I should say I'm sorry," Ty Lee said, taking Azula by surprise again. "I saw how unwilling you were to come here, and yet I dragged you to Ember Island all the same, even if it would make you miserable. I'm a terrible friend…"
"You didn't drag me anywhere, I came here out of my own free will," Azula declared. "I had something to do. It's the only reason I agreed to this."
"But then I took you to the play, and then to the beach, and… and you were so mad and I didn't pay any attention to your feelings. I should have…"
"It doesn't matter, Ty Lee," said Azula. "There's no point in you apologizing to me…"
"I really think there is," the girl insisted. "I've been so inconsiderate towards you…"
"Oddly enough, I think I was the one who was always deemed an inconsiderate friend, wasn't I?" Azula asked, with a crooked smile. "It's amusing for our roles to be reversed for once… though it's odd that they are, I will admit. Why are you apologizing this much? Weren't you concerned about Zuko's misery instead of mine?"
"I was, but you were upset too," said Ty Lee. "And I care about both of you. I don't want either of you to be sad, for whatever the reason."
"Quite a hard feat to accomplish in Ember Island, I'll say," said Azula. "I can't recall the last time I came here without ending up miserable for one reason or the other at some point in time…"
"And that's why I'm sorry. I should have known better," said Ty Lee, sighing.
"Well, we're heading back today anyways, so you shouldn't have much to worry about anymore," said Azula, shrugging. "Forget it now so that I can forget it too, will you?"
"Uh… sure, but… are you alright now?" Ty Lee asked.
"I'm perfectly fine, Ty Lee," Azula replied, starting to eat her meal.
Ty Lee blinked blankly and looked at Azula in confusion. Was this her prodigious lying skill again… or was Azula actually telling the truth? Was she really well, after last night?
"Really? You're… better, really. You don't look half as angry as you did yesterday"
"I guess it would be because I'm not? Didn't I just say so?" Azula muttered. "But if you keep pestering me like that, I might just get as angry as I was again."
"R-right, I'm sorry!" said Ty Lee again, and Azula lifted an eyebrow once more before continuing with her food.
"Where is everyone else?" Azula asked, once she had finished a dumpling.
"Packing, I think," said Ty Lee. "After yesterday's shopping session, the guys have a lot of stuff to carry…"
"Huh…" Azula said, with a raised eyebrow, but she refrained from asking questions. She wasn't all that interested in knowing whatever Ty Lee had bought for them, no matter what it was.
"And I take it Zuko is probably doing something about that swelling, so…"
"Swelling? What swelling?" Azula asked, frowning. "Did he get a rash of some sort? It happened to him once when a bug bit him at the beach, I recall… he would have had it coming for heading out there in the middle of the night, honestly."
"Uh… no, nothing bit him," said Ty Lee. "Didn't Sokka tell you anything when he went after you? I thought… I thought he would have said something about it."
"About what?" Azula asked, confused.
Ty Lee looked at Azula blankly for a moment before swallowing hard. She had genuinely thought Sokka would tell Azula about this about that as soon as he saw her…
"Well… when you left, Sokka said we ought to go after you, but then Zuko said we didn't have to," Ty Lee explained. "He said you were incapable of emotions or something of the sort… he was being pretty mean with the things he was saying about you."
"Why doesn't that surprise me in the slightest…?" Azula muttered, rolling her eyes.
"And when he was in the middle of saying those things… Sokka punched him."
Azula's eyes snapped wide open and she looked at Ty Lee in shock, dropping her chopsticks at those words. Her friend simply gulped, waiting for Azula to process what she had just told her.
"H-he… he did what? Punched…? Why the hell did he…?"
"Well, he began telling Zuko off for the things he was saying about you… he said Zuko knew nothing about you, and he told him he was a horrible brother, in short. He was pretty angry, really… I'd never seen him like that. His eyes were somehow bluer than usual, for some reason… and he was just so furious. He said Zuko had spent his entire life thinking only about himself, and that he had never showed you he cared for you. He told him to grow up and be the brother you deserved, and then he turned around and went after you…"
"He… he actually did something like that? And what did Zuko do?" Azula asked, still too dumbfounded to continue eating.
"He protested a little at first, but then he stopped talking back," said Ty Lee. "As if he had never really thought about things that way…"
Azula's gaze went to her half-empty plate again, yet she wasn't hungry. All she could think about was of what Sokka had done… of what he had said to Zuko, what he had said to her. Long ago she had been pleased to see Sokka choosing her over Zuko… she never knew he would go this far to stand up to him for her, though. Nobody had ever said Zuko was a bad brother, she had always been the problem. She was the liar, the violent sibling, the cruel one… and Zuko was always her victim. And she had never really cared about people's perception regarding her relationship with her brother… she knew just how to make him miserable, and she'd exploit that as often as she could, it couldn't be denied. If that made her a terrible person, then so be it…
But Sokka had defended her. Sokka hadn't seen her as a monster, not when it came to her mother, not when it came to her brother…
"He was really terrifying, honestly," said Ty Lee, gulping. "It was odd that he would be so upbeat today. I expected him to still be beyond angry at Zuko for the things he had said… I think Zuko expected that too, truth to be told. But he was back to normal, somehow. Wasn't he still angry when he ran into you last night? Or was it you didn't meet up with him after all?"
"He… he was… he didn't look angry, at all," said Azula, eyes wide still. She would have never suspected Sokka had only just punched her brother right before taking her in his arms and saying he loved her…
"Really?" Ty Lee frowned. "Well, that's odd…"
Azula lowered her gaze towards the meal again, still unable to digest what Ty Lee had just said. Never would she have imagined the extent of Sokka's devotion towards her would go this far…
On some level, she had feared his words from the previous night had been whispered out of pity. She had expected him to only love her for one night because he was unwilling to love her for any longer than that. Because she truly wasn't worth the trouble… but if that were the case, why did he go so far for her when she wasn't even watching? Why defend her when he could have easily turned on his heels and left them, without trying to correct whatever they thought of her…? Why tell Zuko he was wrong about Azula when Sokka himself hadn't even known Azula's darkest secrets just yet?
That he had done such a thing could mean many things… some of them slightly misguiding and confusing, she guessed, for she shouldn't be hoping so badly for him to love her for longer than just one night. Those hopes could easily be shattered if they were ever proven wrong, and she didn't want to feel miserable over him ever again. Yet… yet this meant that, even before knowing that Azula thought she was a monster, Sokka had never seen her as one. Sokka had heard Zuko speaking against Azula, and he had instantly stood up to him for her, refusing to let her brother treat her that way…
Azula sank in her chair suddenly, a hand going to her mouth as she felt the same feelings from last night burning in her chest, as the wildest fire she had ever known. Ty Lee looked at her worriedly, a hand going to her shoulder.
"Azula? Azula, are you alright?"
The Princess didn't answer, for she had no idea what to say to her friend. How could she say she was fine when she definitely wasn't right now? There was no way she would be fine ever again… not after knowing this. Not after spending that night with Sokka…
For now she realized that trying to stop this was futile. She had fought it, she had resisted it in every possible way, but it was pointless. Casting away her feelings had been a mistake, for now it seemed they were stronger than they had ever been, strong enough to cause her physical pain, even. By now she knew it… by now she faced the reality she had been unwilling to admit to herself, even though she already had once before. Maybe Sokka had only loved her for one night… but she had loved him for much longer than that. And those feelings had increased to the point where she couldn't restrain them anymore. To the point where it seemed they would only continue to grow from here on…
Indeed, fighting it was pointless. Resisting was a waste of time and efforts. Maybe they weren't meant to be together… maybe the world would condemn them eternally if they were. But her heart was set on loving him… and after these revelations and unexpected developments, she had grown certain it always would be.
Sokka was surprised to find there was a balcony in the house. He had taken a quick bath after packing up: he hadn't brought too many things with him, but now, with everything they had bought at the Island's shops, his pack would be six times the size it was before. He was fine with that, actually. It hadn't been his money, after all, and now he had almost renewed his wardrobe completely. He always welcomed new clothing and accessories, no matter if he'd be teased for that behavior. And since Ty Lee had been so happy to indulge his enjoyment of shopping…
The view from here was quite remarkable, Sokka thought, as he looked on towards the distant horizon. There was still too much in Ember Island he hadn't seen… he had yet to visit the beach properly, and Ty Lee had spoken of hot springs, if he recalled correctly. It was a pity this trip had been so short, even though so much had happened in the span of a day…
He heard footsteps behind him, footsteps he would recognize anywhere. With a hand on the balcony's balustrade, Sokka waited until she reached him while wondering if his heart would ever stop beating this strongly around her… at this rate it would tear its way out of his chest, and if that happened it would drop down straight to the street below. And that surely wouldn't be a very nice sight for the Ember Island inhabitants to behold, a fiercely beating heart rolling down the streets…
Those ridiculous thoughts were slightly distracting for him, but not enough, it seemed. He was still far too conscious of her presence as she reached him. They both stood in uneasy silence for a moment, but before Sokka had a clue of how to break it, Azula began speaking:
"Back when I came here with Mai and Ty Lee, Lo and Li told us Ember Island would give everyone a clean slate," Azula muttered. "Apparently the beach has a way to smoothen even the most ragged edges…"
Sokka frowned and looked at her curiously.
"Supposedly, this place helps you understand yourself better," said Azula. "Or so people claim."
"Did it help you, then?" Sokka asked, with a weak smile.
"Up until yesterday, it never had," said Azula. "All my previous visits were less than helpful for me. If anything, they convinced me that maybe I really was just what I feared I had become…"
"Even when we came here last time?" Sokka asked, worried. It was Azula's turn to smile.
"Need I remind you how that trip ended? I believe you called me and my people evil and heartless quite a few times…"
"I… I did, didn't I?" said Sokka, sighing. "Well… you already know I don't think that way anymore, don't you?"
"If any of what you said or did last night is true, then I guess you really must have changed your mind about a lot of things," Azula said. "Sokka…"
"Yeah?" he said, looking at her warily. Azula frowned at that.
"What's with that look?"
"I'm just a little worried about what you might say next, that's all," he said, gulping and looking at her nervously. "See, uh… I know there were a lot of things I did that I shouldn't have, and I said plenty of things you may not have wanted to hear from me, of all people. That kiss before I left, that was… not intentional."
"Oh? Incapable of repressing your urges now, are you?" Azula asked, with a smirk.
"Terribly so," he replied, smiling weakly. "I'm shameful, I know."
"Well, I recall telling you just a while ago that you are also incorrigible, and thus, that shamefulness is never bound to be fixed," Azula said, shrugging. "But as I said…"
"Somehow, now you don't mind that so much," said Sokka, looking at her, almost entranced. "Why, though? All of sudden…"
"You really have to ask why?" Azula said, looking at him in disbelief. "After everything you've done as of late… after everything you did last night? Ty Lee told me of what you did to Zuko…"
"Oh… oh," he said, blinking a few times. "Well, I'm pretty sure he's endured worse injuries than what I gave him, so you probably don't need to worry about your brother…"
"You might underestimate your strength if only a little," said Azula, smiling. "You're only about eight slots away from reaching the top half of the ranking, aren't you?"
"Well, true," Sokka acknowledged, nodding weakly.
"And you're considered one of the strongest non-benders in the League. With that… well, I do wonder how long will it take for his jaw to heal."
"Considering the assortment of crap he was spouting about you, it better take ages," Sokka grunted.
"So you… you don't regret it?" Azula asked, surprised. "Here I thought your conscience would kick in…"
"Heh, I haven't been acting without my conscience's leave, I'll have you know," said Sokka. "Everything I've done, I've done because I've wanted to. Don't ever think otherwise, will you?"
Azula looked at him in mild disbelief before lowering her head and shaking it, a smile on her face.
"What?" said Sokka, frowning. "You don't believe me?"
"That's not it. It's just… people talk ill of me behind my back, Sokka," Azula said. "That's what they do. That's what they always have done. That's what most Fire Nation people do, really, be it about me or about anyone else. But you… you, on the other hand, went all out to defend me instead? What would you have done if Zuko had attacked you as well?"
"Keh, I would have been able to take your brother up in a fight any time," said Sokka, crossing his arms over his chest.
"Right. You were unarmed, he's a firebender… and you're sure you could win?"
"Well, if he's not half as good as you are…"
"Nobody is half as good as I am, Sokka," Azula said, proudly, at which he found himself laughing.
"Right. Of course not," he said, smiling at her.
"Still… you stood up to him for me," Azula said, looking at him in confusion. "And then you came to me and… and you did and said all those things. Did you even… did you have a clue of what you were doing? Or were you just making things up as you went?"
"The latter, truth to be told," said Sokka, chuckling. "You've always told me off for that, I need to plan things out better… but I really didn't know what I was doing at first. I just wanted to keep you from spilling more tears somehow."
"And kissing me was the best idea that came to mind?" Azula asked, raising her eyebrows.
"Hugging you came first, but since that proved not to be enough…" said Sokka, shrugging as she laughed next to him.
"You're unbelievable, truly" she said, shaking her head "Do you even…? Do you have the slightest clue of what…?"
"Of what that meant to you?" Sokka asked, looking at her kindly. "I… I think I do, at least to some extent…"
"Do you really?" Azula asked, her gaze finding his.
"Azula…" he muttered. "If you're wondering if I really meant the things I did and said last night… then yes, I did. Every word. All of it."
Azula looked at him with an odd glint in her eyes now. Was it… hope? Sokka didn't think he had ever seen such a unique shade of gold in them before…
"All of it, then?"
"Even if I wasn't supposed to," Sokka said, smiling weakly. "I know this isn't something to take lightly… last night was a big deal and not only for you. You can rest assured, I'm taking all this to the grave if I have to… both what happened, and everything you told me. I promise I won't tell…"
"Ah, don't even bother," said Azula. "You jinx everything when you turn it into a promise."
Sokka froze and she just chuckled at his reaction.
"W-well, that is true, I guess…" he said, gulping.
"Though, honestly, don't tell anyone. Nobody can know, no matter what you hear them say about me," Azula said. "If they think I'm a monster, then let them… what matters is that you know the truth of it."
"And you know it too," said Sokka. "That's what matters most."
"Right," Azula muttered, her eyes drifting towards the ocean now. "In any case, though, Sokka… I…"
"Yeah?" he said, looking at her eagerly.
Azula turned towards him now, and her eyes found his again.
"Thank you," she said, and the words were more heartfelt than ever before. It wasn't the first time she showed him gratitude… but it certainly was the first time Sokka felt so elated to hear the words.
He looked at her, his intense gaze as alluring for Azula as hers was for him. Soon enough she had closed her eyes and the short distance that separated them, and he let his own eyes flutter close as he felt one of her hands land on his abdomen. Their lips found each other once more, and Sokka's hand went to her waist while the other kept gripping the balustrade tightly. He kissed her intensely, hoping to show, without words, that his feelings wouldn't last for one night only. Every second he spent near her strengthened them, and every time he kissed her, he reaffirmed them. She should have never done any of this… the hawk should have never dropped to the ground again to give the turtle a second chance. But she had. And he was determined not to waste it.
Her hand moved up to his chest as her body pressed against his. She didn't know why she had succumbed to the urge to kiss him yet again, but if he had done it earlier, surely she had every right to do it now. It hardly mattered if the others might see them… though she sure hoped they wouldn't, but if it happened it couldn't be helped. She would just have to find some way to silence them… but right now she was too invested in this kiss to genuinely care about anything else. This man could become her undoing and she was sure she wouldn't find it in herself to regret that at all, not so long as she could continue to kiss him like this…
A couple of hours later, the group was boarding the ferry again to return to the Capital. It wasn't until they were on the deck that Azula saw Zuko again, and she raised an eyebrow at the bandaging on his jaw.
"What?" he said, when he caught her looking at him. "Are you thinking my left isn't my good side, Azula?"
"Now, now, do me a favor and keep in mind it was you who said that and not me," said Azula raising her eyebrows.
"Of course. Uh, say, are you… mad?" Zuko asked, looking at her worriedly. Azula looked at him in confusion.
"Why, I thought you were convinced I was, but if you're going to start a campaign to make me admit it, you're not going to be in luck…"
"I don't mean it that way," said Zuko, rolling his eyes. "Are you upset because…? See, you stormed off last night, so…"
"So did you, in case you don't recall," Azula replied. Zuko sighed in exasperation.
"I mean to ask… are we alright?" he muttered.
"Curious," said Azula, raising an eyebrow. "I don't think we ever have been. Why would we start being alright now?"
"W-well… because I don't want your boyfriend punching me anymore, maybe?" Zuko said, with a crooked smile.
"Huh? My boyfriend? And just who might that be, pray tell?" Azula asked, raising her eyebrows inquisitively as the others finished boarding with their immense packs.
"Dang, this is a lot of stuff, really…" Sokka said, wiping the sweat off his brow after dragging the last of his bags on board. Azula looked down judgmentally.
"I hope you don't expect me to pay back Ty Lee for all your junk…"
"Hey, it's not junk!" he squeaked, irritable.
"Now, Azula, don't tease him, it's so rare to find a guy who admits he enjoys shopping!" Ty Lee said happily, as Haru dropped all his bags and Ty Lee's right next to those of the rest of the group.
"Well, who doesn't like having new stuff? People just don't appreciate the small things in life nowadays, they really don't," Sokka declared, folding his arms over his chest.
"But don't you think you appreciate them too much…?" Haru asked, and Sokka gasped, indignant.
"What, you too, Haru?! What is this, peer shaming?" he exclaimed, as the other gladiator laughed.
Azula couldn't help but smile at the sight of Sokka arguing one-sidedly with the earthbender, who simply held his hands up and smiled uncomfortably, hoping Sokka would quiet down. Ty Lee seemed amused, and Zuko wasn't paying much attention to their banter or to her, to Azula's relief. If her brother had caught sight of her right now, if he had seen the way he was staring at the Water Tribe man, he surely would grow convinced Sokka really was Azula's boyfriend.
Which he wasn't, Azula was certain. Yet he wasn't her friend either, for he was so much more than that. She honestly didn't know what he was for her just yet: if anything, now she was more confused about the nature of their relationship than she had been before going on this trip. But as she watched him acting so stubbornly, behaving in such a foolhardy manner before everyone else, she realized she had no clue what the proper label for their relationship was… but at last she knew what she wanted it to be.