Chapter 22

When Raiden took command the following morning, the overnight guards informed him that the Fire Lord was in the library.

"She stayed there late last night, just reading and reading, til she almost fell asleep in her chair!" One of them marveled at this unusual behavior.

"And as soon as she got up, she went straight back! Even skipped breakfast!" Another guard continued, dumbfounded at the regent's neglect of this vital meal.

Intrigued by this turn of events, Raiden walked into the library. The first thing he saw was Azula seated at a large table covered with books, papers, and scrolls.

She looked up at him and smiled. The beautiful shape of her upturned lips almost kept him from noticing the dark bruise around her eye.

"Captain! Did you know Avatar Szeto invented lavabending?"

"I….didn't know that," Raiden answered, dazed at the change in the Fire Lord. "That's fascinating. Have you read his memoir?"

"Not yet. I started last night with the biography from the royal historical society, but it's next on my list." She patted the tall pile of books on her right. "Have you made a personal study of Szeto?"

"I've always appreciated the golden age," Raiden answered vaguely, a bit unsettled by her interest. No matter how pretty she looked with that inquisitive glint in her good eye, he still felt wary about delving too deeply into his thoughts on national history, as that might lead to a potentially risky discussion of his politics. Aware that he was blushing, and determined not to take her curiosity as personal interest, he decided instead to see how far down this road she would let him push her. "You know, my father teaches at Caldera University, and one of his colleagues has written several books on Szeto and the Fire Lords he advised." He didn't say that he had met Professor Rekishi through the White Lotus, and only later discovered she taught at the same institution as his father, in a different department. "Would you like to—"

"Of course I'd like to meet this scholar," Azula answered, her words clipped and brisk. "They must be invited to the palace. How about tomorrow?"

Raiden was taken aback by the question. Of course he didn't know the professor's schedule, and he wasn't used to being treated like a secretary. But the Fire Lord was accustomed to having every whim fulfilled immediately, and he certainly wanted to encourage her to meet with Rekishi as soon as possible. "I–I'll find out, my lord." He bowed and left to do exactly that.

For the next three days, Raiden watched the Fire Lord work diligently in the library, devouring and discarding books, taking piles of notes, and drawing up plans. She didn't train, perhaps because she was still injured, and she sometimes forgot to eat. He had to whisper to a servant to bring a tray of finger foods at least once a day. When he went off duty at midnight, she was still working.

"My lord, that was the twelve o'clock bell," he observed.

"Oh, yes, I suppose it is. I didn't realize it was so late." She stretched her spine, and he averted his eyes from the way her movement pushed her chest out.

"Professor Rekishi is coming tomorrow," he reminded her.

"That's exactly why I've been preparing a list of questions." She sighed and looked away, murmuring, "I know I should rest, but I don't sleep well."

He walked her to her room and had a serving girl bring her a soothing tea. He wished he could do more.

The next day, Azula's private luncheon with the scholar lasted over two hours, which Raiden took as a good sign. He took the opportunity to pull Rekishi aside for a hushed conference on her way out.

"She's eager to translate Szeto's philosophy into concrete plans and quick solutions. When I started to point out complications, she got frustrated," the professor reported. "Nevertheless, I count it a success that she invited me here in the first place! I never imagined anyone in the palace would care about my research, and now the Fire Lord is asking to set up a regular weekly meeting!"

As soon as he said goodbye to the scholar, Naoki got his attention, and he followed her to a private alcove, where Takeo was waiting to join them.

"We need to talk." Naoki began, hands on her hips like a disapproving mother.

"About what?" Raiden wrinkled his brow.

"The massive crush you have on the Fire Lord," Takeo answered, his tone similarly parental.

"What crush?" Raiden's neck felt uncomfortably hot, the way it always did when he was blushing. He cursed his body, wondering how he could ever be a passable spy with a tell like this. When he got promoted, he had promised his friends they could still treat him with their usual casual closeness in private, but now he wondered if he shouldn't have taken advantage of his elevation to avoid conversations like this.

"You think we haven't noticed the way you look at her?" Naoki made her eyes big and moony. The thought of appearing so clearly lovesick in public made Raiden cringe.

"You made us serenade her, dude." Takeo reminded him of the anthem in the arena.

"I didn't make you—" Raiden protested, suspecting it was useless.

"We all know what that look of yours means, Captain. Singing was not optional." Naoki argued, a bit of resentment behind her words. She hated singing.

"Obviously, I don't blame you." Takeo shrugged. "The Fire Lord is very pretty. And she appeals to your…..sense of adventure."

"You mean his lack of self-preservation instinct." Naoki muttered with a resentful edge.

Raiden crossed his arms and glared at her.

"What?" She held her hands up innocently. "I mean, it's not like anything can happen…

"You think I don't know that?" Raiden snapped, then caught himself. He hadn't meant to be so harsh. Of course his friends only had his own best interests at heart. He sighed, running his hand nervously over his hot face, realizing he'd given himself away.

"Is this why you and Akane broke up?" Takeo wondered, his voice softer.

"No. I told you it was the long distance." He frowned. His ex had no place in this discussion, as far as Raiden was concerned.

"Do you think it's a rebound, then?" Naoki pushed.

He shook his head. Didn't a "rebound" imply he had been high, and then low, because of Akane, so that a quick new relationship could bounce him up again? That didn't fit because the breakup hadn't been that dramatic, and he certainly didn't feel high now, in any way. He prayed that would be the last inquiry.

But Naoki's prying was endless. "Did it start before or after?"

That was an impossible question to answer, so he just gave an honest shake of the head. "Both? But like I said, nothing's happened."

"Well, crushes come and go." Takeo patted his shoulder with manly sympathy. "All you have to do is stop feeding it. And maybe, like, think about what a nightmare it would be to actually date the Fire Lord."

Raiden chuckled. He couldn't help thinking his friend had a point. The interrogation finally concluded, the three returned to duty.

Did he have a crush? The captain wondered. He was physically attracted to Azula's beauty, of course. That was just natural. So was his intellectual fascination with the puzzle of her. He felt sympathy for what he thought had made her the way she was. Most of all, he was intrigued by the change he could sense taking place inside her.

Some of his feelings for the Fire Lord were caught up in his mission, he believed. Whenever she agreed with one of his suggestions, he got a heady rush of power more potent than the first time he'd commanded men to march. People would spend large sums on bribes for this kind of influence over a monarch. He also felt a sense of loyalty, almost reverence, for the queen he hoped she could become. But he knew that trying to change someone was unethical, usually impossible, and in this case, probably dangerous. These parts of his crush were doubtless unhealthy, so he decided to keep himself in check.

Yes, he supposed "a crush" was a good enough word for what was going on. He'd never really had one before. Whenever he got interested in someone, he just asked her out. Either she said yes and they dated until she got boring, or she said no and he stopped caring instantly. He'd never had this interim period of intense proximity with a girl he was attracted to, without just making a move. A crush implied a certain amount of clandestine pining, and he'd never liked anyone enough to pine after them. He found the sensation uncomfortable, not to mention embarrassing.

Despite his lack of experience with crushes, Raiden was sure Takeo's advice for getting rid of one was good. Stop feeding it. Get some distance. Focus on Azula's bad qualities–there were plenty.

He turned the corner, and saw the Fire Lord seated at her desk, reading a thick book. The tendrils of hair on either side of her face fell forward, cutting into his view of her profile with surgical precision. Instantly, something tightened in his chest. Why did he have a feeling it was already too late?

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