Accessing Global Security Satellite System
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Accessing Grimm Horde Approaching Nowhere Kansas
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Accessing Sectors:
13 – Darklands
8 – Wilds
4 – Nowhere
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Estimated Time to Arrival in Nowhere: 6 days, 8 hours, 49 minutes, 10 seconds.
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Evacuation Protocol For Sectors 8 and 4 In Effect
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Logging Off Global Security
Xxx
"So your name is Peter Parker but you go by the name Spider-Man and you are from another dimension, sent here by someone who watches over the multi-verse." To some this would be a story born of lunacy but to Phil Ken Sebben this was just another Monday.
"Yeah." Spider-Man nodded, sitting down on a chair across from the Mayor of GrimmFall. "I'm here looking for someone that was taken and I think you have an idea who it might be."
"Indeed I do." Sebben nodded. "Van Kleiss has been notorious in abducting people with extraordinary abilities from other dimensions. I knew the situation was growing bad but to know he's gotten the attention of beings meant to watch over the multi-verse is a bad sign. He must be becoming more dangerous than we feared."
"So it's not just Mary Jane." Spider-Man muttered to himself. "He's doing this a whole bunch of people?"
"Yes and its affects have been showing. Some beings brought here are of a benign nature like yourself while others…"
"Aren't so nice." Spider-Man finished for the mayor. "Yeah, Madame Web mentioned something like that. She's worried it won't be just one universe that suffers. Actually she implied one or two might already be in trouble."
"Then that is a sign we have to hurry and stop him. We were just gathering the teams meant to go and stop Van Kleiss when you arrived which I see as both a good sign that help is coming and a bad sign that we might have bigger trouble than we thought. No offense." Sebben said quickly at the end.
"Hey, I'm all for a day when me showing up doesn't mean something bad is about to go down." Spider-Man waved it off. "So you got room for one more on this team?"
"…What do you have in mind?"
Xxx
Share a smile!
Mabel picked snails off the sidewalk and puts them on large grass.
Dream a dream!
Xxx
Doing some good deeds!
Mabel dug a hole and Grenda put a tree in it. Luckily this was Toby Determined's house and since he was not in Gravity Falls at the moment, he didn't have to worry about the tree blocking his house.
Share a smile!
Xxx
Plant a tree!
Mabel puts a giant smiley face sticker on Stan's face. Stan screamed and broke his lamp in the process.
Doing some good deeds!
Xxx
Halt! And smile!
Mabel donated three pints of blood, then fainted.
Love them tight!
Xxx
Mabel stopped traffic for some ducks to cross, paints glitter on the statue of Nathaniel Northwest, filled Lazy Susan's tip jar, and she, Candy, Grenda, Frida, Zoe and Wendy helped a woman with her groceries.
Doing good deeds!
Xxx
Mabel looked at a checklist of good deeds as Candy, Grenda, Frida, Zoe and Wendy cheered. " Boom! A thousand good deeds. When that unicorn scans my heart, she's gonna say I'm absolutely, one hundred percent, bona fide-"
Xxx
"Not pure of heart."
"Booyah! Wait, what?" Mabel cheered at first but then the last park clicked.
"How is that even possible? Mabel's a straight up saint, you judgmental hoofbag!" Wendy scoffed.
"Yeah, our cousin is so sweet she makes everyone barf rainbows!" Zoe protested.
"Please, tell me what I'm doing wrong!" Mabel cried.
"Doing good deeds to make yourself look better isn't good at all. Not to mention you're crushing, like, ten dandelions right now. Those are basically children's dreams." Celestabellebethabelle said haughtily.
Mabel got off the dandelions and gasped.
"I'm sorry, Mabel. It's not my fault you're a bad person." Celestabellebethabelle said but it didn't sound sorry at all.
Candy, Grenda and Wendy gasped as Mabel ran off crying. "Mabel, wait! Come back!
"Now if you'll excuse me, I have a 3 o'clock posing in front of a rainbow." Celestabellebethabelle said, posing in front of a rainbow. "NeigheighEIGHEIGHeigheigh."
Zoe and Frida glared before walking away, both swearing to take revenge on the pompous unicorn for breaking their cousin's heart. Meanwhile Mabel was lying down outside the castle as Candy, Grenda and Wendy walked up to her.
"Come on, Mabel. Don't beat yourself up about this." Wendy said comfortably.
"Yeah, that unicorn wouldn't know a good dead if it came up and slapped her in the face. Which is what I might do." Frida said, throwing a harsh look over her shoulder at the entrance of the castle. "She's obviously faking."
"Let's forget about getting that dumb unicorn hair." Candy suggested.
Mabel sniffed. "It's not about the hair anymore, guys. It's about me. Being kind and sweet is what makes me who I am. If I'm not a good person, who am I? I'm not leaving this spot until I think of a deed that makes me as good as Celestabellebethabelle."
"But, Mabel..."
"Just leave me be."
"Pst." Wendt ushered Candy and Grenda away as Zoe and Frida met up with them. "Guys, if you ask me, this whole thing is a serious load. Mabel's like the best person I've ever met. We tried getting that hair the good way. Now it's time we try... the Wendy way." Wendy punched and rubbed her left fist against her right hand as a way of signaling a violent gesture.
"Are you suggesting violence? Sabotage?" Grenda asked.
"About time." Zoe smiled.
"Mabel's not going to like that." Candy cautioned.
"Mabel doesn't need to know. Look, it's time we stop trying to be so 'perfect' and be who we really are. We're crazed, angry, sweaty animals! We're not unicorns, we're WOMEN! AND WE TAKE WHAT WE WANT!" To prove her point, Wendy punched a tree so hard it fell to the ground. "Damn, those workouts really worked."
Candy and Grenda were in. "Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!"
Grenda even smashed a rock on her head, stunning the rest of the group. "Too much?"
Frida whispered to Zoe. "Okay, we form a band of either rock stars or criminals, Grenda's in."
Zoe nodded in agreement.
"Here's what we're gonna do."
Xxx
Turns out Wendy's plan had brought them to the Gnome bar known as Gnasty's Gnome's Tavern.
"Get me a flaggon of your daintiest honeysuckle, please." A Gnome said.
"I'm gonna need to see some ID." The Bartender said.
The door was then kicked open by Wendy.
"It's the cops! Hit the deck!" Another Gnome flings himself out the window while the rest panicked.
"I'm lookin' for someone who knows how to take down a unicorn! No tricks or games!" Wendy shouted as Frida and Zoe unsheathed their claws to make sure everyone got the point.
Candy smashed a bottle and held up the sharpened end. "We are human! We take what we want!"
"Yeah!" Grenda nodded.
A Gnome stood up and answered. "Fairy dust. A whole magic bag's enough to put a unicorn out cold. But if I do you a favor, you gotta do somethin' for me."
"Just, spill it, half-pint!" Grenda slammed her fist against a tree stump.
"Butterfly trafficking is illegal in this part of the forest, but I like butterflies. They tickle my face and make me laugh. Bring me a bag of butterflies and we got a deal." The Gnome answered.
Grenda and Wendy nodded.
Xxx
It took just moment to capture enough butterflies for the deal. The girls arrived back to Gnasty's and Grenda approached the gnome and gave him the bag of butterflies.
"Two bags of fairy dust, just like we agreed." The Gnome said, sliding over two pouches.
"Where do you get this stuff?" Grenda asked.
"Everyone likes sausage, but no one likes to know how it's made." The Gnome smirked as he opened the bag of butterflies.
"You disgust me."
"You got your poison; I got mine; we made a deal."
"Yeah, well, the deal is OFF!" Grenda shouted just as several policemen gnomes run out of the bushes.
"Freeze! You're under arrest! Get down! Get down!"
"These butterflies aren't mine! I swear! I've been framed!"
"Tell it to the adorable owl we've dressed as a judge." The police Gnome turned to Grenda. "My cut."
Grenda gave him one of the bags.
Xxx
Mabel was still outside the unicorn's castle, writing in her notepad. "Good deeds. Good deeds. Aww that's not good enough! Come on, Mabel, you can do better than that!"
Meanwhile, Candy, Grenda Zoe, Fridaand Wendy entered Celestabellebethabelle's house, making sure Mabel did not spot them.
Inside, Celestabellebethabelle was reading Whinny, Pray, Trot and did not notice them enter. "Oh sure, sure, I wish I could travel, but it's just not feasible in this economy-"She was cut off in mid-sentence when she was hit in the face with the fairy dust. "What the hay?!" (Faints)
Her attendant Faun nervously played S.O.S in morse code on the pipes as the girls surrounded Celestabellebethabelle.
Frida and Zoe grinned as they both pulled out electric razors while Grenda put a towel over its mouth. "Sleep now! Sleeeeep."
She pulled the faun away as it lost consciousness.
Wendy took scissors and some of Celestabellebethabelle's hair as Mabel entered the fortress. "No wait! Stop!"
Wendy quickly hushed. "Mabel! Shh! You'll wake her up!"
Mabel took the scissors. "But this is wrong, guys!"
"But protecting the Shack is good." Wendy argued.
Celestabellebethabelle woke up and saw Mabel with the scissors. "What? Doth mine eyes deceive me? Thief! You shall never be pure of heeeaart!"
"No! You don't understand! I just want to be good like you!" Mabel cried in horror.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, you gotta be kidding me."
The group turned around to see two more unicorns, one red and one blue enter the castle.
"Yo, C-beth, are you seriously pulling this 'pure of heart' scam again?"
"That is messed up, man." The red unicorn said in a tone of disapproval.
"Wait, scam?" Mabel slowly asked in confusion.
"Kid, unicorns can't see into your heart. All our dumb horns can do is glow, point towards the nearest rainbow and play rave music." To illustrate, the blue unicorn's horn flashed and the sound of music was heard. "Yeah, the whole 'pure of heart' racket is just a line we use to get humans to leave us alone."
"Guuuyys. Shut uuupp." Celestabellebethabelle quickly and quietly said before the humans could catch on.
Too late.
Mabel began to shake as she crushed the notepad in her hands. "All this time. All this time I thought I was a bad person. But you're even worse than I am!" She threw the notepad that was labeled 'Mabel's Sins' written on it to the ground, Candy, Grenda and Wendy gasp while Ze and Frida smiled.
"Okay, fine. So you learned our secret. We're jerks, okay? We have more hair than we know what to do with, and we keep it to ourselves just to tick humans off." Celestabellebethabelle said mockingly. "What are you gonna do about it, huh, huh? What are ya gonna DO?"
POW!
The answer was Mabel punching Celestabellebethabelle right in the face. "Oh!"
Candy, Grenda and Wendy gasped and then cheered.
"WHOO! Go Mabel!"
"Join the dark side!"
"It's way more fun anyways." Zoe held up her razor. "Let's shave these guys down and take all their fur!"
"I've been waiting for this." Frida held up her own razor. "No one makes our cousin doubt herself and gets away."
Mabel growled and tore the unicorn image off of her sweater as the other girls cheered. "Fight! Fight! Fight!"
Wendy grinned as she pulled out her axe. Zoe and Frida unsheathed their claws while Grenda and Candy got ready.
"Oh. So it's a fight you want. Well, then it's a fight you're gonna get!" Celestabellebethabelle growled, she and the unicorns getting ready to attack.
With that, unicorns and humans charged at each other in an all-out brawl.
Xxx
"Doc, those Cryptids, t-there's a pattern here."
Drew had a DNA sample from the Cryptids that had attacked her son under a microscope and what she saw was concerning.
"There's a pattern to all of them. And we're going to see it once I enter this one last sequence." Doc said, his work almost done. "So what did you find out?"
"Doc!"
Doc turned away from the main computer and walked over to Drew, holding her shoulder as she looked at red glowing screen.
"Why does it say 'Remote Access Authorized?'?" She asked with a worried look on her face.
Doc turned back to his computer, noting that he couldn't do anything to stop the final sequence. "I'm locked out! Someone just hijacked my system!"
Drew rushed over to the door, opening it in the hopes she would see her sons, biological and adopted still there.
They weren't.
"Doc! The boy, they're gone!"
Xxx
"Saturday's work is uploaded. Fire up the machine."
Zak perked up at the last word. "Machine? What machine?"
"Now, I thought for sure you were smarter than that, son." Dr. Lee grinned down at the boy. "I'm talking about the machine you're sitting in right now."
The men all laughed as they moved to activate the machine…
Until a green blur fell down and slammed her feet into Dr. Lee's face. The scientist fell down onto the ground as Huntress Wizard spun around, pointing a knife as the nearest scientist.
"What the-"
"Despicable." The green skinned woman spat, grabbing Dr. Lee by the collar. "So you're the ones responsible for those fakes existing. And even worse, you are aligned with him."
"Well, if it isn't the daughter of the great Tsul' Kalu." Dr. Lee grinned, despite the bleeding lip. "I'd thought you'd be dropping by."
Huntress Wizard narrowed her eyes.
"It's a good thing we came prepared." Dr. Lee then snapped his fingers.
Huntress Wizard was suddenly lifted off the ground an invisible force, earning a surprised gasp from her before she was slammed several times into the wall. The containment unit opened, releasing the other green skinned woman as she held up one hand that was focused on Huntress Wizard while her eyes glowed.
"I forgot to mention…When Van Kleiss sent this little lady our way, he also made sure to inject her with nanites. They spread through her central nervous system to allow complete control and react on voice command from yours truly." Dr. Lee explained as he got up. "We were interested in her ability to shape shift, meaning we could create an army of shape shifting cryptids that would increase the value of our project."
"GAH!" Huntress Wizard was again slammed into the wall.
"Now don't be too rough with the little darling, Miss Martian." Dr. Lee nodded to the young woman. "After all, the daughter of the great Tsul' Kalu is perhaps more valuable than any other cryptid in the world."
Zak had been left to watch Huntress Wizard be held up in the air by the woman who was apparently a Martian. "Wait…Tsul' Kalu? As in the Hand of Tsul' Kalu?"
As in his treasured Claw that he used his to focus his power?
"Well, isn't this a surprise. Legend had it that Tsul' Kalu took the hand of a woman in all that is holy. And when she was with child, they disappeared into the wilds, never to be seen again." Dr. Lee walked up to the woman as Miss Martian telekinetically pinned her arms and legs. "So you must be the child from the legend."
Huntress Wizard simply glared at the evil man.
"I am sure we can use you to bring your daddy out of hiding but until then you're much more useful to us. In the meantime, fire up the machine!"
Huntress Wizard managed to turn her head, watching as the tubes attached to the capsule holding Zak, Komodo and Fiskerton broke away and the floor beneath them started spinning at a very fast pace. "NO!"
"Hey-What's-NO! LET US OUT!" Zak screamed, the spinning making him dizzy very fast but that was the least of his problems.
All of them screamed as bright light engulfed them. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
Xxx
"ZAK! FISKERTON!"
Drew and Doc ran out of the house, looking frantically for their boys.
"Doc, what's going on here?" Drew looked at her husband.
"I don't know." Doc answered honestly. "You said you had a lead with the Cryptids."
Drew held up her scanners. "Just a distribution pattern, an explosion of humanoid-Cryptid sightings in the southern states over the past thirty years. Greene Goon, Kinchafoone Creep, Bishopville Lizard Men. But it doesn't explain why-Oh no." Drew's eyes widened in shock, realization and horror. "You said Lancaster's DNA project was the building blocks of all Cryptids."
Doc stopped them in front of another desolate building. "You think Lancaster was actually building Cryptids?"
"Well, now I wouldn't give the good doctor all the credit." A voice made them look up, seeing a bunch of men in white lab coats standing atop the stairs with a green skinned woman holding out her hand with Huntress Wizard being held in the air above her.
"Who are you?!" Drew pulled out her sword.
"I-I recognize them. They used to work here." Doc said in confusion. "Handymen, hired laborers."
Dr. Lee chuckled. "Is that what Dr. Lancaster told you?"
"You're gonna tell me where my boys are, now!" Drew growled.
"Of course I am. But first let's discuss compensation." Lee replied. "Lancaster got us shut down before our hard work was rewarded. Now we got a machine worth billions to whatever rogue general or petty dictator is in a buying mood. You're gonna have to load that machine onto your airship. Then you're going to give us that airship."
"And why would we do that?" Drew harshly asked.
"Because we're the only ones who can turn your boy Zak and his little pals back to normal." Dr. Lee said, snapping his fingers.
From behind them came a Cryptid unlike any the two Saturdays had seen before. It was built like Fiskerton, had the green scaled skin and tail of Komodo, and the air and torn clothing of Zak.
Drew and Doc's eyes widened in horror.
"Now, about our traveling arrangements." Dr. Lee grinned.
STOMP!
Something crashed into the ground behind Drew and Doc, creating a large crater and kicking up dirt. Everyone had to cover their eyes and cough as they wiped the dust away and when it was gone they saw what…or who had made the crater.
Superboy who placed Artemis back on the ground after carrying her through the air. "I believe you have a friend of ours."