Chapter 48

The old man came into the Fire Lord's office to find her anxiously pacing the floor.

"I was surprised when you summoned me. It's not our regular day to meet," Chibi began.

"I needed your counsel urgently," she declared, throwing herself on the couch.

"You've seen the news, then?" he asked, wincing.

She frowned. "What news?"

Puzzled, he reached into his bag, where he found a magazine, and handed it to her.

She surveyed the cover, where a smiling Aang held his pregnant wife. "I already knew he was married."

"But the rest of the world didn't, until this story was published." The therapist sat in his regular chair. "You hadn't seen it yet?"

"No. Does he tell everyone what I did to him?" She opened the magazine, flipping impatiently through the pages to find the article. If the whole world heard the details of her relationship with Aang, from his point of view, she would be humiliated. And she knew she would deserve it.

"He doesn't mention you at all."

She sagged in relief, then tossed the magazine aside. "In that case, I don't care. Good luck to them. I want to talk to you about something entirely different."

"And what is that?"

"Is it ethical for an employer to have a romantic relationship with an employee?"

"It depends," Chibi answered carefully. "Why do you ask?"

"It's purely hypothetical," she lied. "What does it depend on?"

"The employee's feelings, mostly. And the way the employer approaches it."

"How should the employer approach it, in order to be ethical?"

"Considerately. Without any hint of pressure. Most importantly, with complete willingness to accept rejection amicably," the old man ruled.

"That's exactly what I did!" Azula exclaimed, as if proud of herself for guessing the right answer.

The therapist smiled knowingly. "I thought it was a hypothetical question."

She told him how she had traveled with Raiden to see the dragons, how she kept snapping at him until he finally snapped back, and what she had learned about firebending. She analyzed the kiss he had dropped on her hand that night, and laid out her calculations concerning her next step. And then she described their conversation over dinner the following night, repeating the questions she'd asked him, and his exact responses. Recalling the details was easy; she'd been analyzing them ever since.

Chibi was impressed enough to give her some mild praise. "It sounds like your approach was very considerate. You put Raiden's comfort first, and asked him what he wanted, in an open-ended way,"

"But it didn't work!" she burst out.

He tilted his head to the side, the way he did when he thought she was being obtuse, but was too polite to say so. "Just because you approach a potential relationship ethically doesn't mean that you are guaranteed to win the other person's affection. It has to be all right for him to turn you down."

"Of course it's not all right!"

"Are you going to retaliate in some way?"

"No!" she spat, as if offended at the suggestion.

"You mean it's not all right because you feel so wretched?"

"Of course I feel wretched. I've been rejected! Again!" She sighed miserably. "I should just give up, shouldn't I?" she grumbled. "Raiden doesn't like me."

"I don't think you can know that for sure just yet," Chibi cautioned.

"Of course I can. If he liked me, he would have said he wasn't content to be just my top advisor, but also wanted to be my boyfriend," she answered rationally.

"You didn't lay your feelings out directly enough."

"What should I have said?"

"'I like you, Raiden. Do you like me?'" the old man answered simply.

Azula scoffed. "That's childish."

"You could also ask him to do an activity with you that is clearly romantic, like escorting you to a ball. But you must be direct, or you won't truly know his feelings."

"How can I be direct without harassing him?"

"Harassment implies repeated requests. If you ask the question one time, directly and clearly, that's not harassment."

"But then if he says no, that's it. I get one shot."

"Yes. If he turns you down, you will have to move on. You've had some practice with that lately."

Chibi's words reminded the Fire Lord of her ex, and how hard it had been to let go of him. "The last time you were here, we discussed my relationship with Aang, and the way we were unequal."

"Yes. And the way you used his vulnerability to your advantage."

"Right. That's the real problem here," Azula declared. "There is no one who is my equal. No one whom I could not easily destroy with either my firebending or political power."

The therapist put aside the arrogance in the statement and focused on its reality. "I suppose that's true, at least in a sense. In all the world, there's only the Avatar, and I suppose Toph Beifong, who could physically defeat you. King Keui and the Northern Water Tribe Chief are your only equals in political terms."

"There is no way for anyone to protect themselves from me, no one else to keep me in check," the Fire Lord asserted. "Aang could have, but nobody else."

"Then you must become the kind of person who would not threaten anyone."

"The kind of person who gets what she wants without threatening," she amended.

He shook his head sadly. "Who accepts when she can't have what she wants."

She crossed her arms and slouched, hating that answer. "If Raiden were the Avatar, I wouldn't have to be so careful. But I am not only his monarch, I'm also his employer and commander in chief. He's not even a firebender."

"Why did you pick him, then? If he's so helpless?" Chibi challenged, with a knowing gleam in his eye. "Why not date the strongest person you can find instead?"

"We've already discussed how that's not possible. Aang is taken." Azula reminded him. Then she reflected for a moment, and made a startling realization. "Besides, I think at this point I may actually prefer Raiden."

Surprised, the old man sat up a bit straighter. "What do you like so much about the captain?" he wondered.

"He's absolutely gorgeous, first of all." She pictured the young man's thick black hair, and his broad chest in that open vest on Ember Island. The mental image made her fingers flex, reaching for someone who wasn't there. "He's saved my life, so I respect his martial skills, even though I know I could defeat him with my firebending. I like his practicality, the way he approaches problems, and how he always keeps his knife sharp. It's thanks to him that I've changed my approach to leading the Fire Nation." Her voice softened as she spoke. "When I need him, he helps me. He's my best friend."

"If you told him all that, he may be persuaded to give you a chance," the therapist suggested gently.

"He already knows most of it."

"How does he know?"

"I told him he was my best friend," she reminded him.

Chibi held up a finger. "Which may have misled him into believing that's all you want from him."

"Fair point. The rest, he knows through my actions," she argued. "Obviously I wouldn't ask for his opinion if I didn't value it. I wouldn't have him around so much if I didn't enjoy his company."

"But those are actions a monarch might take for any advisor. He doesn't know you're attracted to him."

She frowned. "Maybe he doesn't."

"Do you want to tell him?"

"Only if he likes me, too."

"You don't want to make yourself vulnerable."

She wrinkled her nose. "Of course not. That would be terrible strategy."

"Why do you need strategy? Your position is so powerful that you find it a burden and a hindrance to this relationship," he reminded her. "You can afford vulnerability."

Azula paused, her forehead ridged with confusion at the word, which she had only ever used in a military context. "What does that mean?"

"Opening yourself up. Telling your secrets. Putting yourself in a position where the other person can hurt you."

Azula thought for a moment. The idea of revealing herself to Raiden had some appeal. She trusted him implicitly, and had already told him quite a few of her secrets. But he didn't know everything she'd done. What if he looked at her the way Aang had, with revulsion?

"That sounds terrifying," she whispered.

"Oh, it is. But you can handle that," the therapist assured her.

"I'm not just scared of getting hurt, I also want to make sure I don't hurt him," she informed him quietly.

"That's because you care. And that means you won't hurt him, because it would be like hurting yourself," Chibi assured her.

That made some sense to her. At the height of her rage against Aang on the night he'd fled, she had attacked him, but she now recognized the impulse as essentially self-destructive, an externalization of her inner pain. If she had succeeded, her agony would have been unbearable, and never ending. Now, it was hard to imagine doing such a thing to Raiden. But Chibi spoke with a confidence that she just could not feel; she could not trust herself.

"I don't know what to do next," she admitted.

"Keep spending time with him. Enjoy yourself. Be open to whatever may happen. There's no rush," Chibi held his palms up, as if it were simple.

"That's pretty vague," she grumbled.

"You could play to the captain's strengths, to put yourself on a more even footing with him," the therapist suggested. "Perhaps there is some way in which he has an advantage over you."

"He's older, I suppose," Azula mused. "And more experienced. He knew more about history than I did at first, but I think I've caught up. If we fought hand-to-hand, and bending wasn't allowed, it would probably be a close match. He's a master archer, and I've never even tried to shoot a bow."

Chibi raised an eyebrow at her, and one corner of her mouth pulled up in response.

"You're a genius, old man."

"You wished to see me, my lord?" Colonel Karai entered the Fire Lord's office tentatively.

"Yes, Colonel. Take a seat." Azula gestured to the chair on the other side of her desk, then pushed a folder of papers across it. "I would like to offer you an early retirement. Your full pension, five years before you are eligible."

He made a dumb, puzzled face. "I don't understand."

"The nation is grateful for your service, but it is no longer required. You may have noticed the recent reductions in forces."

"Yes, but that has been achieved through soldiers volunteering to leave service, or nonrenewal of contracts. No one else has been offered a full pension five years early. Have I done something wrong, my lord?"

"If you had done something wrong, I would fire you, not offer you extra money," she answered reasonably.

"I'm not interested in your money," Karai declared. At her surprised face, he elaborated. "You may not be aware that my father is the head of the Saowon clan. My salary has always been inessential to me. If I wanted to live in comfort, I wouldn't need your pension to do it."

Azula knew she had to tread carefully, to avoid offending. The Saowon clan was powerful, and she needed its support.

"If you don't want money, then why did you join the army?" She wondered, stalling.

He shrugged. "I enjoyed war, when I was allowed to wage it. I like ordering people around, and making them obey. The war is over, but I still want to share my wisdom and wield influence. I wish only to serve my country." He ended with a supercilious simper that disgusted her.

The Fire Lord took a long pause, as she assessed him and her options. She was more sure than ever that she wanted this man off her council and out of the capital, to keep his toxic ideas as far from the seat of power as possible. She felt annoyed with him for invoking his connections, and even more irritated at her own dependence on powerful old families like his. She refused to let him force her into a corner. If he wants to be a loyal soldier, then I'll be happy to let him, she decided, with a hint of vicious satisfaction.

"If you refuse this generous offer, then I'll have to reassign you," she finally declared. "Since you're so patriotic, I'm sure you'll relish the chance to serve in an area of great need. I would like to give you the opportunity to impose your authority on the prisoners at the Boiling Rock. I'm sure the Warden will appreciate your administrative experience."

He gaped. "Are you punishing me, my lord?"

"Of course not. I just said you've done nothing wrong."

"My lord, first you offer me early retirement, then place me at the most dangerous and dishonorable post in the nation. Are you trying to get rid of me?"

She sighed, and admitted, as politely as possible, that she simply did not like him. "Colonel, you clearly don't support my agenda. Your voice on my council is more disruptive than helpful. However, you've served honorably, so I am willing to give you a nice send-off. You refused it on grounds of patriotism, so I merely offered you an outlet for that admirable sentiment. Given your disposition, I truly think you might enjoy this post, despite its reputation. Take either option, I truly don't care which."

"Did Captain Raiden put you up to this?" he challenged, his face reddening.

"Excuse me, Colonel?" Alarm bells rang in Azula's head at the mention of her crush.

"It's clear that the Captain exerts an undue influence over policy."

"Captain Raiden's counsel has been invaluable to me," she objected, hand on her heart.

"When he served under me on Crescent Island, Raiden was insubordinate. I believe he may currently be involved with a group of seditious conspirators," he informed her.

She scoffed at his paranoia, and loyally stuck up for her friend. "You know that Captain Raiden saved my life. I'll not hear a word said against him."

Karai stood. "Fine. I'll go to the Boiling Rock, because I'm a good soldier who takes orders without complaint, unlike Raiden." His tone was self-righteous; he clearly felt himself a martyr.

"That's quite enough, Karai." She dropped his title in warning, just as he'd done to her Captain.

"My lord, have you heard about the way Raiden treats young women?" Karai put on an air of concern. "He goes through them like hankies. I would hate to see him take advantage of you."

Ire rose in Azula at the presumption that she could ever be vulnerable in that way. She stood as well, the better to intimidate. "Your daughters may need your protection, Karai, but I don't. Patronize me again, and it will cost you dearly," she warned.

"I just hope he doesn't break your heart, my lord." The colonel bowed and left.

Azula met with Raiden again for dinner; she hoped it would become their routine. She wasn't looking forward to talking to him about her meeting with Karai, but knew she owed Raiden the truth.

They enjoyed their meal together, as they had the previous night. They had spent the day apart, attending to various duties, so they updated each other on all they had done during the hours apart.

After the servants had cleared the dishes and left the room, Azula brought up the colonel. "Karai refused to retire. He invoked his powerful family. I ended up reassigning him instead."

"I understand. I'm not surprised he made it difficult for you." Raiden looked down.

She refused to let the captain make himself responsible for Karai's unpleasantness. "He's a difficult man. I'm thrilled to have him off my council."

He raised his glass to that, and she clinked it.

"Where did you send him? Some cushy post with a country club?"

"The Boiling Rock."

"What?" He paled.

"He said he enjoys exerting his will over others, which makes him a perfect fit for work in a prison. And he went on about what a great patriot he is, so I thought I'd make him prove it," Azula justified her decision, then spoke more softly. "I may have lost my temper a bit," she admitted.

Raiden was silent for a moment, and she began to worry she'd made a mistake. "Did I—"

"No, it's fine. I'm sure he won't be able to retaliate. It will be fine." He assured them both, waving away her concern. Then he grinned. "It's so satisfying to think of Karai on the Boiling Rock, even if he'll be an administrator instead of an inmate."

Azula returned his smile, her heart flipping a bit at the thought that she'd made him happy. She wondered if she should bring up Karai's insinuations about Raiden's love life, but that felt like passing on the harassment. It was curious, though, the way Karai had spoken as if the two of them were dating.

She put aside those thoughts, and made the proposal she'd been contemplating since her meeting with Chibi. "I was wondering, Raiden, if you'd like to teach me archery."

"It would be my pleasure," he answered, with a surprised tilt of his head. "Why did you decide you wanted to learn?"

"When I lost my firebending, I realized how much I depend on it. I need to diversify my skills."

"Your aim in firebending is so perfect, I'm sure with a little training, you'll be a master archer."

"Tomorrow morning, then?"

"Bright and early," he promised.

Author's Note: Thanks for reading! Please leave me a review if you're enjoying the story! Next chapter up in a week.