Chapter Four:
The Release Party

APRIL 15TH, 2022

1900 EST
CHEGWIDDEN RESIDENCE
RESTON, VIRGINIA

"You two look so cute!"

"Thanks…"

"Did you guys match on purpose?"

Nikki turned to look at Adam, who was wearing a light blue polo, and Adam turned to look back at Nikki, who was wearing a light blue dress. The two of them exchanged strained smiles.

"No…" Nikki answered slowly, turning to look at Mac with wide eyes. "We didn't."

"It's just a coincidence Mom, I promise," Adam said.

Mac, not listening to either of them, pulled out her phone from her back pocket. "We need to get a picture-"

"No we don't."

"That's…Mom, please."

"C'mon, you kids never want to take pictures any more!" Mac held up her phone. "Smile!"

Nikki and Adam turned their painful smiles towards Mac's phone. There was a strict space of six inches between them.

"We're really not helping the dating allegations, are we?" Adam murmured through clenched teeth."

"We're really not."

Meanwhile, other party-goers were having a much more relaxing time. Even though the party was being held at AJ's house; he made it clear that he was not the host. He was sitting out on the front porch, enjoying the evening breeze and the peace and quiet. He enjoyed the company of the Rabbs and Roberts, but found that they often brought a lot of noise along with them that he'd grown unaccustomed to in his retirement years.

Sitting on the front porch swing, AJ watched the street in the twilight. It was unseasonably warm for mid April, and the sun had gradually been going in later and later each night. One of the things about retirement that he enjoyed was being able to notice the small things, like the days gradually getting longer.

When he was JAG, he didn't notice something unless it was three feet in front of him. Maybe it was his old age talking, but he didn't know how he did it. He did know how Harm was doing it.

Then again, he was always the best person to work under extreme pressure.

Over the sound of the conversation inside, AJ was just able to hear the screen door latch shut and soft footfalls walking up to the patio chair.

"What are you doing out here?" Clara asked as AJ looked up. "The party's inside."

AJ smirked. "I was just getting some fresh air."

"Can't blame you, it's a little stuffy in there," Clara walked around him, leaning against the porch railing.

AJ watched her closely. Francesca had decided not to have any children, so Clara for all intents and purposes was still his first grandchild. She was very much a combination of both her parents, something that had made watching her grow up very interesting for AJ to observe from the peripheral - and occasionally get involved with, whenever he thought it was necessary.

"How have you been?" AJ asked. "Let me see the new tattoo."

Clara's eyebrows shot up. "Did my mom tell you about that?" she asked.

"No," AJ shook his head wryly. "Your dad did."

Clara pulled up the hem of her shirt, revealing her new tattoo that wove its way down her ribcage.

Taking off his glasses, which he now had to wear for more things than reading, AJ looked at the tattoo, the edges of which were still peeling and irritated. "A tiger," he observed, looking up at Clara for confirmation. "Any significance?"

"No reason," she shrugged. "I just like them."

"How much did it hurt?"

Clara shrugged again. One thing AJ was still getting used to when talking to this new generation was their constant shrugging. "Not that much."

AJ raised an eyebrow. "How much did it really hurt?"

Clara smiled ruefully as she sat down in the chair beside him. "Like a mother."

"I bet."

AJ looked over at Clara and she gave a grin that was exactly her father's.

"How have you been?" AJ repeated, hoping to get a more substantial life update than the newest body modification.

Even though it had been nearly seven years since the Mackenzie-Rabb family had moved back to Virginia, AJ still very much felt like he was making up for lost time. That "lost time" being the decade the family spent in California. Of course AJ had visited a handful of times over the years, either staying with Trish and Frank or in the Rabb's renovated basement, but it was a stark contrast to how he watched the Roberts children grow up. He was able to see them on a nearly daily basis, whereas he only saw the Mackenzie-Rabb children once in a blue moon.

When Clara moved to California, she had been a bubbly and precocious toddler. When she moved back to Virginia, she was a young teenager who had just gotten her braces off six months prior, hadn't yet grown into her stubborn nature, and had a chip on her shoulder the size of a small aircraft carrier.

A little voice in the back of his head told AJ that he would have to keep a particular eye on her, and like with most things that little voice said, it had been right.

The chip on Clara's shoulder had shrunk, and she had made progress, but she was still struggling to grow into her stubborn nature.

It had taken her parents having her for them to finally learn to give in sometimes, and AJ was hoping that it wouldn't take Clara until her mid thirties to stop having such a hard head.

"I've been holding up," Clara responded frankly, sweeping her long brown hair over one shoulder. "Finals are coming up."

AJ had learned that school was a topic that shouldn't be brought up unless the young person he was talking to brought it up first. And career plans. And internships. And overall life goals. He knew never to bring those up. Sore topics. All of them.

"Oh. Should I just not ask about those?"

Clara smirked. "They're going fine. There's one class I kind of might fail, but I'll just retake it. It's not like high school, Mom and Dad won't find out."

AJ nodded. "That's true," he said, though what he really wanted to ask her was, "Shouldn't you tell your parents? Shouldn't you be more concerned about this?

But then AJ had to reel himself in. He had to remind himself that he wasn't Clara's parent, or her commanding officer. It wasn't his job to nag her, or anyone else, these days.

He'd also discovered something with the Rabb and Roberts children that he'd wish he'd known when Francesca was growing up: young people will often open up and tell you things if you actually give them the room to do that.

Clara bit her lip, leaning farther back in the patio chair. AJ had gotten them a couple of years prior as a tactic to force himself to relax more often.

AJ watched Clara carefully, fighting back all the questions that were rising up in his mind. The first place his mind went, before he could stop it, was the state of her sobriety - something he immediately felt guilty about. It was where his mind went every time he saw Clara worried or bothered (not that he saw her all that often these days, but still), and each time he felt more guilty about it. He knew that one of the main things an recovering addict needed was a good support system, and part of what made that support system good was trusting the addict to stay sober.

AJ definitely trusted her; knee jerk reactions were just that: knee jerk reactions.

"I also…"

Please don't say you relapsed - Wait, God, don't think that.

"I also think I'm going to move out soon. Or try to - at least."

Maybe he was imagining it, but AJ felt tension leave his shoulders. "Oh. Oh well that's - I think that's a good -"

Suddenly, there was a knock on the screen door. Mac poked her head out. "Hey, we're about to sit down for dinner. Did you two want to come in?"

AJ often marveled at Mac's sixth sense, but particularly so when it came to her children. He remembered one time specifically, a very long time ago, when Clara had been playing in his office back when he was still JAG before her father was. She knew how to walk, but was still wobbly and had fallen the second AJ had his back turned. Mac had been in the office before she even started, crying, somehow, sensing all the way across the bullpen that something was amiss with her child. He can only assume that the senses have gotten more to do over the years with Mac being able to sense when the slightest things are off with Clara, Adam, or Lily.

This was one of those times.

"Sure," AJ placed his hands on his knees before lifting out of his seat. He liked to think that the rest of him was still young and spry, but the state of his knees told a different story. He headed into the house ahead of Mac and Clara, unable to help overhearing some of their conversation.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah Mom, why?"

"I was just wondering."

"I'm fine."

"Okay."

For it being a release party, it didn't feel like one, mostly because any time someone brought up the book, Harriet would act like she had been stabbed. By hour two of the party, everyone had learned to just stop mentioning it. The dinner was spent with everyone tip-toeing around the reason why they'd all gathered at the Admirals, while Harriet was trying her best to act like she wasn't freaking out - and doing a terrible job of it.

For large family gatherings, there was always a particular seating chart that almost always got followed. It was purely unofficial, but after years of habit it seemed very official.

The Admiral would sit at the head of the table, with Harm and Mac sitting to his right and Bud and Harriet sitting to his left. The kids took up the rest of the table. On the right was AJ, James, and Clara, with Clara sitting between the two brothers. On the left was Adam and the twins. Lily got the other head of the table. However, since AJ was not in attendance for this

The room was silent except for the sounds of utensils scraping against plates and the occasional glass clinking. Everyone was trying to avoid eye contact with Harriet, who was concentrating way too hard on the state of her grilled chicken.

After a few minutes, Mac decided to take charge since she was technically the host. She cleared her throat, smoothing her hands over the napkin in her lap. She briefly exchanged a glance with Harm before speaking.

"So…." She looked around at everyone. "Why doesn't everyone share one thing from their day?"

Mac's comment hung in the air for a few moments, with everyone exchanging glances instead of answering the question. Harm felt a pair of eyes on him, and turned to see his wife giving him a pointed look.

"Oh, um…." Harm broke away from Mac's gaze and looked out at the table. "I finished revising the budget with my Chief of Staff today."

"That's great, honey," Mac leaned forward, looking past Harm and making eye contact with Clara. Clara's eyes widened.

"I….I didn't get stuck in rush hour while driving here after picking Lily up," she turned to face James, who promptly turned to face Lily.

"Uhh…I didn't get stuck in rush hour traffic either."

Everyone went around the table, answering Mac's question. Harriet gave a very tense, avoidant answer, plainly stating that she was "happy" to be there.

"Did everyone answer?" The Admiral asked after he spoke, and once again the table was engulfed in an awkward silence.

Clara turned to her right. "James didn't go," she said, looking at him wryly.

He quickly looked down at his plate. "Yes I did."

Clara laughed. "You literally did not."

James shrugged, keeping his eyes trained on his plate. "I don't know, I don't really have much going on right now."

"What about school?" Bud asked. "Anything exciting going on at James Madison?"

"Ummm…" James chewed his lip. "I uh ... decided that I'm not going back to school next semester, if that counts as exciting."

Due to Harriet giving off the same energy as a ticking time bomb, the dinner had overall been a quiet affair, but James' comment drove everyone into shocked silence. He quickly looked back down at his plate, trying to ignore everyone's stares - especially his mother's stares.

Harriet was completely frozen, her fork paused halfway from her plate to her mouth. She was staring at James unblinkingly, her eyes wide.

"Well that's…." Mac scrambled to try and find something good to say. "That's…."

"An interesting choice," the Admiral said, looking over at Harriet.

"That's not all though," James answered hastily, desperate to share Harriet's wrath with someone. "AJ has something interesting going on too - he called me today and said he's been seeing someone in Australia."

Harriet dropped her fork.

"Hey, can I catch a ride with you back to my place?"

Clara looked up, car keys in hand. "Yeah sure. You just might have to sit in the back seat."

James shrugged. "That's fine."

Clara turned back to the house. "Lily, we're leaving now! Are you coming?"

"I'm riding back with Mom and Dad," Lily called from inside.

"Okay," Clara turned back around and walked down the driveway to her Jeep, which was parked at the curb. The party had ended not long after James' revelations…and Harriet subsequently losing her mind.

James followed a couple of steps behind Clara, much like he had always done. "Thanks," he said. "Does Lily not coming with mean I get shotgun or -"

"Wait, I'm coming with you guys!" Adam called, also from still inside the house.

"Alright, then hurry!"

The younger kids had gotten roped into helping the adults with cleaning up, whereas Clara had merely slipped out as soon as Mac's back had turned. James had merely slipped out after her - once again, much like he had always done.

The three oldest cousins had always done things in a linear manner, with Clara following after AJ, and James following after Clara. Though Clara and James were undoubtedly closer than Clara and AJ, and even AJ and James to some extent, Clara had always been more interested in what AJ was doing ahead of her rather than what James was doing behind her. Much to James' past dismay and current acceptance, the only thing Clara would ever view him as would be something adjacent to another younger brother.

AJ, Clara, and James often silently wondered, too afraid to ever bring it up, that maybe the dynamic would be more equally skewed if their missing fourth wasn't missing.

The hole left in Sarah Roberts' wasn't something that was lost on anyone. With her, there would've been an even split between the older and younger cousins. Two sets of four kids, with two girls and two boys in each set. Clara would've been able to have a break from playing with boys all the time and hopefully at least some of the gap between the brothers would've been bridged - not to mention Nikki would've had a sister.

But in her absence she was also definitely there. At the end of the day there would always be eight cousins - one of them had just never been around.

"Hey," Clara turned to look at James when he caught up to her. "What the fuck was that?"

James stiffened. "It was….I don't know what it was."

Clara looked at him with raised eyebrows. "When did you decide?"

He shrugged. "A few weeks ago?"

"A few weeks ago?" Clara stopped walking. James kept walking ahead of her - something that was known to happen but rare. "And you didn't tell anyone?"

What she meant by that was "you didn't tell me," but neither of them were going to acknowledge that.

"When you tell one person something everyone ends up finding out," he continued walking ahead to the passenger side of Clara's car. His sandy brown hair was almost bright in the darkness - out of all of the Roberts children, he looked the most like Bud. "We can't keep any secrets in this family," he tried to open the door, but Clara hadn't unlocked the car yet. "You tried once, remember? We all know how that turned out."

Clara's eyes narrowed. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"You know," James looked at her as he tried to open the passenger door again. This time Clara wasn't unlocking it on purpose.

"I don't, actually."

"As you told me earlier - you literally do."

Clara rolled her eyes as she heard footsteps approaching behind her. "What the fuck is wrong with him," she murmured under her breath.

Adam suddenly appeared at her side. He looked at his sister and cousin. Not breaking eye contact with James, Clara finally unlocked the car door. "Sorry," she told him," Sibling's get shotgun, that's the rule."

"That's fine," James replied coolly, opening the passenger side door to the backseat.

As Clara and Adam climbed in the Jeep, Adam turned around the look at James in the back seat. "Hey, what was that earlier?"

James shrugged. "I don't know, it was - something."

As Clara was waiting for her phone to connect to the car's bluetooth, a text popped up, the name "Mom" with a green heart beside flashing up on the screen with the message. It wasn't that Clara thought Mac was undeserving of a red heart, it was just that green was the color Clara most associated with her. Marine green. Mom green. Harm's contact was "Dad" with a blue heart - symbolic of the Navy blue, of course.

What was that about? Do you know?

Clara rolled her eyes again.

I have no clue. He doesn't talk to me anymore.

By the time Clara had turned the car on, Mac had already responded. Okay…

Another text.

Do you know anything about AJ's girlfriend?

Clara sighed, quickly typing out a response so she could finally get out of there. Not a thing. He doesn't talk to me anymore, either.

As she was shifting her car into reverse, her phone lit up again.

"What the fuck-"

"Do you want me to read it to you?" Adam asked, trying to do his best co-piloting duties.

"No, it's fine. Hang on," Clara shifted the Jeep back into park and picked up her phone. This time, it was a text from her father.

Drive safe. Leave your keys on the counter so I can check your oil tomorrow morning.

She saw the texting ellipses, so she waited for his second text.

I also need to check the tire pressure.

Sure thing, Clara texted back quickly, sticking her phone back in its holder and driving off before anyone else had anything to say to her.

I'm not going to give the spiel I usually give about being busy and having writer's block, because I feel like that can be implied by my absence. Real life had to take the wheel for a little bit - I started a new job and I'm planning another trip abroad, but I'm glad to be back in the Fanfiction world, working with characters I love and sharing my silly ideas with you all. Hope you enjoyed this update! I'll try my best to be more consistent!

Thanks for reading.

-Harper