Gladiator

by Seyary-Minamoto

In a world where the Avatar wasn't found, the Fire Nation took over two nations and they strive to overcome the last one. Water Tribe warrior Sokka seeks to fight for his people's rights, but he's captured by his enemies. His life is no longer in his hands as he fights as a Gladiator, and his fate will eventually depend on the Fire Nation Princess, who needs him for her own ends...

261. Chapter 261: U Attack-Child of Two W 2

Under Attack/Child of Two Worlds

2

Normality tugged at Sokka on every new day. It seemed to nudge him, to beg him to succumb to it, to simply allow things to run their course and accept his fate: he'd stare at his old hunting gear every morning and he'd ponder taking off to use it. His father had kept his blades sharp during his long absence… perhaps, at first, as a rite to honor the son he thought had been killed by the enemy. Later, Sokka suspected, he had simply done it to feel closer to him. He hadn't talked about it with Hakoda yet, but Kanna had explained his father had often done as much… thus, his heart churned at the sight of that pack on one corner of the room, waiting to see proper use by the hand of the fully grown man who had crafted most of those weapons and hunting materials when he had been but a boy.

He almost reached for them today… almost. His hand stopped short of wrapping around his old spear, and he sighed before leaving the room empty-handed. Suki's lessons wouldn't begin for a few more hours, so he didn't quite need to watch her daughters yet… but he'd do best to be nearby when the time came. Maybe he'd fetch Zi right away, hike around the tribe just to stretch his legs, sharing his many, repetitive musings with the baby…

Sokka stepped outside his family's igloo, huddled safely from the cold inside his new, thick parka Kanna had sewn for him. He climbed the steps out of his childhood home, lost in thought… but the noise outside quickly forced him to set aside his plans to take a walk with the Tribe's youngest member.

Rows of large, dark spheres stood in the middle of the village, surrounded by many warriors who looked them over, some proudly, others approvingly. At their center stood Hakoda, the renowned artificer of explosives within the Southern Water Tribe, whose expertise with his inventions had inspired his son, since his youth, to follow on his father's footsteps.

Sokka stopped cold for a moment, catching the eye of a few warriors before he restarted his walk, his feet guiding him towards his father. Hakoda noticed his approach and smiled at his son from over his shoulder.

"I was about to go fetch you, Sokka," he said, arms folded over his chest. "I know they may not look like much, but…"

"The tangle mines," Sokka cut off his father's modest remark as he reached a stop right beside him. "They're finished?"

"We couldn't make more than these forty," admitted one of the older warriors, grimacing as he gestured at the cluster of bombs, grouped together by the vacant fireplace – only lanterns lit up the location right now, a necessary choice in order to ensure the tribe's safety while the warriors handled the delicate explosives. "We don't have enough materials for more, these days."

"If we manage them properly, this will help plenty," Sokka nodded, his gaze raking the men responsible for the crafting of the mines, his father included. "Thanks for all your hard work. I can't really predict how things will turn out, but these mines might turn the tides of the battle to our favor."

"Quite literally, too," Hakoda said, sighing as he cast a glance in the direction of the shore, distant as it was. "It always worried me to think of what effect they'd have on the environment and the sea… but I'll hope the spirits forgive us for slighting them, if we do, by using them."

"I'd think it'd be reasonable that we'd defend ourselves by any means necessary… but spirits don't quite understand human reason, as far as I know," Sokka said, casually. Hakoda raised an eyebrow, puzzled by his skeptical son's words: had he met spirits? On top of every wild adventure he'd already revealed, had he even found corporeal spiritual beings during the years he'd spent outside the Tribe? "At any rate, we'll have to wait for the waterbenders to set them up, right?"

"Right," Hakoda nodded promptly.

"We should bring them to the shore, though," said one of the warriors, rubbing his hands together. "Might as well store them in that bloody settlement, huh? If any of these went off by accident, I'd rather they wreck that building than our homes."

"Good point," Sokka nodded, with a weak smile.

"And they'll be stored close enough for Katara and Aang to set them up too, this way," Hakoda smiled. "Alright, then…"

"No need to worry, Chief. We'll take care of it," Nanuk said, patting Hakoda's shoulder as he stepped towards the mines. "You've worked harder than anyone in building them, after all."

"But…" Hakoda blinked blankly, finding himself outnumbered by his dutiful warriors, who appeared determined to work out the transport of the buoyant mines by themselves.

Within an hour or so, they'd set up the largest sleds of the Tribe, carried by Nanuk's dogs, for the dangerous duty ahead. Once the mines were loaded safely as the sleds' cargo, the men climbed at the back of the vehicles and took off, keeping the dogs jogging at a safe, slow pace, lighting their way forward with the better lanterns available to the Tribe. Sokka and Hakoda, as well as a few others, watched their progress into the icy tundra with a mix of excitement and trepidation.

"Might be we won't need to use them at all, if we're lucky…" Hakoda sighed, hands on his hips. "But if we're not so lucky, they might be decisive factors in whatever battle we wage."

"We have to be ready for anything," Sokka said, nodding emphatically. "I don't think that Ozai would be stupid enough to send his whole navy here just to catch me… but if he does, we're taking down as many of them as we can."

"I must admit… it's quite something to hear you talking about defeating the Fire Lord's forces with such sobriety," Hakoda said. "Not unwelcome, of course, but it's a far cry from, well…"

"The reckless fool I once was?" Sokka finished, with a weak smile. "If I hadn't learned anything in all those years… well, I'd be an even bigger idiot than people keep assuming I am. If I had a choice, Dad, I wouldn't fight them at all. I don't want to. But I know what they'll do if I don't… and I know they won't stop until he's had his fill. Which, considering what Ozai is like, he never will."

"The Fire Nation's strategies in the war were never quite so clever," Hakoda commented, breathing deeply. "They would be basic often, even simple. But the main difference between them and us was the willingness of the higher-ups to sacrifice the soldiers at the frontlines just to gain footholds, little by little. As far as I'm concerned, it's a horrible strategy… but it won them many battles all the same."

"We won't let that be the outcome this time, if all goes well," Sokka whispered, frowning heavily. "If he expects immolating countless lives will be a sure-proof method to attain victory, he'll be in for one hell of a rude awakening."

"Then you intend to win… and to survive their attack, at all costs?" Hakoda asked, smiling a little. "That… is good. Quite good."

"You expected I wouldn't want to?" Sokka asked, softly. Hakoda chuckled, shaking his head.

"I expected you to admit you're prepared to die if it's what it takes to keep the Tribe safe," Hakoda said. "But if what the Fire Lord seeks is revenge on you, it means the success of their operation hinges on keeping you out of their clutches. It means keeping you alive."

His words were reasonable, logical, perhaps even obvious: they struck Sokka suddenly, though, as he realized his willingness to sacrifice himself hadn't been quite as immediate now as it often had been, in the past. Yes, he would give up his life if that were the only way to keep his Tribe safe, there was no question about that… but his plans were designed to ensure he and his people would live on. To ensure he'd take down Ozai's forces, as difficult as it might be…

His heart tightened upon realizing that, subconsciously, he abided by Azula's wish: he'd live on, even if in sheer agony without her by his side, but he'd keep going. He wouldn't sacrifice himself unless it truly was the only choice… and truth be told, he doubted it would be if they played their cards correctly. Their strategies might be limited by their supplies and resources… but they could work. They would work.

"At any rate, son…" Hakoda said, patting Sokka's back gently. "Got any big plans for today?"

"Uh… not really. Thought I'd check if Suki needed me to babysit already, but that's all I had in mind right now…" he said, swallowing hard. "Thought about going hunting, but… it's too late to start now, isn't it? And I'm out of shape, so…"

"We'll go hunting together one of these days, then. To get you back into shape," Hakoda grinned. "Whenever you're ready, of course."

"Well… if you really don't mind," Sokka smiled a little. "I don't want to weigh anyone down, hunting in winter is bad enough as it is, a party member who hasn't been hunting in over half a decade isn't much help in that situation, right?"

"We can go alone, then," Hakoda smiled too. "The others can and surely would handle themselves fine without me. You can join the hunting parties once you feel you're up for it, Sokka."

"If you say so…" Sokka sighed, but he grinned gratefully at his father. "Thanks."

"Nothing to thank your old man for, I'm here to annoy you by inserting myself into all your duties until you get mad at me and shove me away," Hakoda declared, prompting Sokka to laugh quietly.

"Not sure that's going to happen… though you can keep trying anyway, if you're curious about how patient I might be, these days," Sokka said.

"Eh, I can tell you're far more patient than you used to be… but you cannot underestimate a meddling father's abilities to pester his children," Hakoda smiled, prompting his son to laugh again.

"Guess that asking me what I'll do for the rest of the day is part of that meddling?" Sokka asked, amused.

"Why, of course. Part of the package, we both know that," Hakoda grinned. "You're going to train the warriors today, too?"

"Yeah, once Suki's done, as usual," Sokka nodded, though he recognized the spark of mischief in his father's azure eyes, so very similar to his own. "Got any particular reason to ask that question, Dad?"

"Oh, not really. I was just pondering if I ought to join in…"

"Oh, what, to humiliate me by dueling me and kicking my ass in front of every other warrior of the Tribe?" Sokka asked, and Hakoda roared with disbelieving laughter.

"Me? Humiliating you? You are such a flatterer, my son, truly!" he laughed, patting Sokka's shoulder affectionately.

Sokka smiled warmly, a strange tug of anticipation surging in his gut: his father had bested him in combat in each fair sparring session they'd ever had, when Sokka was younger. Sometimes, yes, Hakoda would let Sokka win… but Sokka wasn't quite so foolish as to believe that was his father at his best. He had always been a remarkable, superior warrior… and frankly, through all those years of training as hard as he had while partaking in the Gladiator League, it hadn't even occurred to Sokka that he might have outdone his father where combat was concerned.

"I'll admit, I thought about joining in mainly to hear about whatever tactics we could expect from the Fire Nation soldiers…" Hakoda said, guiding Sokka back inside the Tribe, an arm wrapped around his son's shoulders. "But all things considered, you must be ten times as experienced in battle as I am, at this point."

"No way," Sokka answered reflexively: yes, it was possible, but he wasn't sure he was ready to admit it. Hakoda chuckled, looking at his son questioningly.

"The more you refuse to acknowledge your own strength, the more you make me wonder about it," he said. "How about a quick bout, then? One duel with your old man, for old times' sake, maybe? I do believe Katara says you've made a proper recovery, so you could use your weapons again by now… if you wish to."

Sokka gritted his teeth, mulling an answer quietly: he hadn't attempted to touch his weapons since finding the necklace hidden in his pack. A stupid choice, he knew so… but whenever he trained the warriors, he'd borrow weapons from his students to show them how to perform certain movements rather than using his own. He wasn't going to borrow a weapon to defeat Ozai's forces, that much went without saying… but if he kept allowing their very presence to hurt him, if they continued to serve as reminders of a life beyond his reach, he might even fail to wield them properly when the moment of truth arrived. However hard it might be, he couldn't be caught with his guard down. He knew his weapons, he knew just how to use them… and he'd be ready.

But the best way to be ready would be by easing himself into using those weapons once more, after almost two months without doing so.

"Well… I won't use my sword, that's for sure," Sokka said, startling Hakoda before explaining his reasoning, matter-of-factly. "It can cut through most materials, even solid metal. We don't have so many weapons to spare, I don't want to risk cutting through them in training."

"Right," Hakoda smiled, pleased to hear his son hadn't found his suggestion outrageous or unacceptable, regardless of the pain that still dwelled in his heart. "Your boomerang would be fine, though. And your club, and your knife…"

Sokka nodded, trudging towards the center of the Tribe with his father by his side. They stopped by the now-empty fireplace, in the area where Suki would surely begin her training for the women eventually, a short walk away from the Chief's home.

"You sure about this, Dad?" Sokka asked. Hakoda smiled and nodded.

"I'm sure I'll learn much from you yet, my son. I always do."

His kindness, his encouragement… they were a gentle balm on Sokka's weary soul, one he had needed far more direly than he wanted to accept. He couldn't help but smile back as his heart seemed to jumpstart for the first time in ages: trading blows on a training duel with his father had been the highlight of any day for Sokka since his youngest years, and as much as countless things had changed since then, it appeared that genuine excitement hadn't vanished after all.

So he clasped his father's hand, the one over his shoulder, and squeezed his fingers gently with his own before finally complying fully with his father's idea.

"Alright, Dad… let's try this."

---

The once clear shores of the South Pole now sported a maze of tall ice spikes, walls that surged from the depths of the ocean to protect the frozen landscape. It had been the work of weeks, but as far as Aang could tell, he and Katara had crafted a resilient defensive mechanism that even the strongest of the Fire Nation's ice-breaking ships would struggle to overcome. Colliding head-on with any of the walls would still hinder their approach to the shore, littering the metal ships with shards of broken ice and potentially damaging their hulls too. Katara had been adamant about crafting extra spikes underwater, in hopes that they might halt the enemy's approach before they reached their doorstep.

Her idea had taken Aang by surprise but he had agreed to it, despite his apprehension. The Fire Nation ships might be sturdy enough that, even upon clashing into such solid, firm ice, the damage would take time to sink any ships, enough that the soldiers and crewmen aboard would have a chance to rush to safety. Perhaps they'd be able to jump ship and climb onto another ship of the fleet, once they escaped upon realizing the Water Tribe would not be taken without a ferocious fight… however willing to obey Fire Lord Ozai as they might be, even the soldiers from the settlement had backed down and fled when faced with a fight they couldn't win. The ones Ozai sent next should be no different, Aang hoped.

He bent himself back onto Appa's saddle right after ensuring the furthermost spiky walls were as tall and threatening as they were meant to be.

"I think we're good now," Aang announced to Katara, who sighed in relief as she surveilled their surroundings.

"We've done a lot of bending lately," she smiled: she wasn't sure if they'd bent their defenses a whole mile into the water, but it certainly looked like it, from these heights.

If the Fire Nation approached with catapults and siege weapons of the sort, they would likely have to waste most their ammunition, if not all of it, on tearing down these walls to access the South Pole safely. The ice underwater, however, would still be sure to do a number on any approaching warships. They still had one more weapon to place within the water too, of course… one last weapon that Katara hoped would do enormous damage, if it worked as it was intended to.

"Yeah… I guess we finally can take a break?" Aang said, with a shy smile.

Katara swallowed hard but nodded, unsure of what to say next as the Avatar steered the sky bison back towards the shore. Truth be told, she found herself in strange, unfamiliar waters with Aang these days. Her whole world had taken a tumble or twenty ever since Sokka had returned: her relationship with Aang hit an abrupt stop in the wake of so many changes, and as much as they'd had plenty of time to talk things over while working on the Tribe's defenses, they somehow hadn't done it at all. Katara's innards twisted with anxiety as she wondered if he'd bring up what they'd been talking about that very day, just before they were called to help the near-frozen Sokka…

And maybe he did intend to talk about his almost-proposal, but Aang's intentions were thwarted quickly when he caught sight of a group of warriors by the shore.

"Oh? What's going on with them?" he said carelessly, startling Katara, who glanced over the side of the sky bison's saddle, seeking whatever had caught Aang's attention.

The warriors on the sleds had stopped at the settlement's entrance, carrying some sort of luggage with them, which they were taking inside the metal building. Aang frowned, glancing at Katara with confusion… only to find that she wasn't quite as puzzled as he was.

"Do you know what they're doing?" he asked. Katara nodded.

"Guess they thought to store the tangle mines in the settlement for now," she explained. "We'll probably distribute them little by little, so it's for the best if-…"

"The tangle-whatsit, now?" Aang said, staring at Katara with raised eyebrows. Katara mimicked his confused expression.

"You… didn't hear? Not even in passing?" she asked. "I mean, I know I didn't bring it up because I figured you wouldn't like it, but…"

"I wouldn't like what, exactly?" Aang asked, his brow furrowed. Katara breathed deeply before eyeing him matter-of-factly.

"They're bombs," she said, point-blank. "Of my dad's invention. He used similar ones when he was fighting in the war. They're dangerous, they're effective, and they'll serve as yet another line of defense against the Fire Lord's armies if they really come down here, so…"

"Wait… Hakoda wants to blow up their ships?" Aang asked, frowning as Appa descended towards the settlement, gradually. "That's…! No! That's going too far! So many of their soldiers would die, Katara! We can't just do something like this…!"

"We can't?" Katara repeated, raising her eyebrows. "So… defending our nation, our territories, isn't alright because we'll kill some of their soldiers?"

"You can defend them without killing them needlessly!" Aang exclaimed, frowning heavily before turning to steer Appa carefully, away from the bombs that were carried inside the settlement. "They may be soldiers, Katara, but they're people! They're like Kino, like Zuko…!"

"Right, and while you're busy trying to find their humanity, they'll be more than happy to butcher us!" Katara exclaimed, throwing her hands up in the air as Appa finally landed.

The warriors had been working tirelessly, flowing through their motions without any trouble. The sky bison's descent hadn't appeared to be bad news, but the raised voices, a most unusual occurrence between Aang and Katara, brought the warriors to a halt as they waited to understand whatever was wrong with the two benders.

Aang dismounted quickly, faster than Katara. He strode towards the cluster of bombs, eyes wide with disbelief: this wasn't what he'd expected, what they'd told him of their plans… nobody had told him because they thought he would react adversely. Had Kino known? Had Zuko known? Had Sokka…?

"You're telling me Sokka is fine with this?" he asked, turning towards Katara, who had only just jumped on the ice. She scowled at him, and Aang took the expression as a sign of his suspicions being spot-on. "He's going to be furious when he knows that you guys are…!"

"Sokka was the one who proposed this idea, Aang."

After those words, silence. Tense, unnerving silence.

The Avatar's expression betrayed how profoundly confused he felt, how distressing he found the notion of blowing up thousands of ships. Katara clenched her fists, waiting for him to react, knowing, too, that he wouldn't be likely to change his mind for the better, once he did. As much as she had grown to love him, Aang's understanding of the world, as well as his immense compassion, seemed utterly incompatible with these war-torn nations after over a hundred years of war.

"Why?" he finally said. "He… he has Fire Nation friends, more of them than we do. He's known their soldiers, he… he can't want to kill them!"

"Who says he wants to?" Katara retorted, startling Aang. "You think any of us would be fighting to the death for the fun of it, really? The ones who started a war to dominate every other nation weren't the Water Tribes, Aang. This is defense. This is retaliation. They've killed people for a hundred years, and they'll keep going for a hundred more if nobody stands up to them!"

"I… I'm not saying you shouldn't defend yourselves, but I can't believe the only answer is to kill them all!" Aang said, gritting his teeth. "There has to be another way, Katara. I'm not being gullible, if that's what you think, I know the Fire Nation has done horrible things…"

"And you expect that we'd be just as bad as them if we respond in kind?" Katara asked, raising her eyebrows. "Considering we'd even save other people from the Fire Lord's soldiers if we kill them, I don't think that argument would stand. They're attacking us because they can, we're defending ourselves because we must…"

"It's not about who's bad or worse, Katara, but those people have families too. They have friends, they matter to someone!"

"Do they?" Katara asked, skeptically. "Well, damn: we never got Fire Nation raids attempting to find and reclaim Kino after he chose to stay behind with us, they even misconstrued his image and name on the wanted poster they made for him. He's never even said he wants to go back, because none of them ever even acknowledged his existence, while we do. Then, Zuko? He got half his face burned by his father, was treated like crap by the man for all his life, and he found a home, safe and sound, for himself and his family, right here. To this day, the Fire Lord has done nothing to find him…"

"His uncle did try," Aang said, frowning reproachfully.

"And would his uncle think Zuko should go back to the Fire Nation just for his sake, if he learns that Zuko built a home for himself and his family here?" Katara asked, stretching a hand towards the Pole. "A home and a family he never had, back in the Fire Nation? Suki keeps saying it, he's never been happier! He has a purpose, a life he's proud of, a life his rotten bastard of a father wouldn't let him have. And beyond this… I still don't know if I can believe everything about my brother's story, but look at what happened to his Princess, huh? She'd be better off away from that disgusting monster they have for a father, but she chose to go back to him anyway because she hoped to minimize the damage to us…!"

"Which proves there's good people in the Fire Nation," Aang huffed. Katara shrugged.

"And there's good people in the Water Tribe too," she said. "That didn't stop their soldiers from killing them. It didn't stop them from coming after my mother. And the good people from the Fire Nation? The ones we've known? They're better off away from that accursed nation anyway! So, am I torn up over the idea of killing Fire Nation soldiers, when I know their whole lives are just meant to be lived as goons for Fire Lord Ozai, whose whole purpose is to force them into doing his bidding while he doesn't even move a finger? No, Aang, I'm not. And I barely see why I should be."

"So, you're telling me you've learned nothing in all these years of knowing Zuko and Kino?" Aang asked, eyes wide. "Katara…"

"Oh, I've learned a lot, Aang," Katara said, scowling. "More than anything, that the Fire Nation's going to immolate their own, toss them aside like they're useless, destroy them if they so much as dare stand up for what's right, unless someone puts a stop to them. And that's what we're trying to do. If you disagree with that notion…"

"I don't disagree with it, I just think there has to be another way!"

"Well… great. Share it with us, if you can come up with something," Katara said, scowling as she stepped backwards, towards the silent, awkward warriors. "Go back to the village and talk to Sokka yourself. Maybe he'll have a better chance at making you see things from our point of view than I do… but before you go, I want to ask you something."

Aang tensed up, eyeing Katara with unease: she took a moment to compose her thoughts before finally speaking them aloud, a stern scowl on her face.

"What did you plan to do, when you tried to return to the Southern Air Temple upon hearing the Fire Nation had attacked them?"

Aang's brow drew, though not with anger. He hadn't expected such a question… a question he had long stopped pondering, seeing as he had failed to save his people. That Katara would ask such a question couldn't be gratuitous, she had always held back from making him think too much of the past, or of his mistake – which, in her eyes, had only been an accident – that resulted in Aang being trapped in ice for far too many years. It didn't hurt any less that she'd asked it, however…

"Katara…" he said, almost pleadingly, but she didn't appear to be ready to stand down.

"If there had been no storm… if there had been nothing to stop you from reaching them on time, what would you have done?" Katara asked, firmly. "Would you have used your bending to force the Fire Nation soldiers to stop attacking, perhaps? Maybe you could have frozen them over, I don't know, though with the Comet's influence they might not have been easily stopped with just ice… even then, I'll just pretend you could have done it, and kept the casualties to a minimum on both sides: what about the other Air Temples? The Fire Nation attacked them all. They killed countless of your people and got away with it, to next to no consequences. They destroyed a whole culture, and they didn't even show the slightest bit of remorse for it. For most people, airbenders are completely gone, have been for over a hundred years. They're a thing of the past… and it's because the Fire Nation made it so. You… you tried to go, to stop them, but you have to know they wouldn't have stopped. That they would have returned as soon as they had the chance, as many times as it might have taken, even if it meant defying the Avatar. They didn't stop, not for a hundred years, when trying to conquer the Earth Kingdom and the Water Tribes: compassion may be a choice you can make once you've won a war, but you can't hope to win it unless you're willing fight it in the first place."

Aang gritted his teeth, lowering his head as Katara turned towards the warriors once more. She asked what their orders had been and they explained them. Within instants, it was as though Aang had already left even if he was still standing right there.

He did understand Katara's reasoning… he did know she had a right to fight, to defend her people as best she could. But were there truly no boundaries, no extremes they wouldn't stoop to? He had been taught to protect every life, to respect them… couldn't they simply disable their enemies, defeat them without killing them? Wasn't there something else they could do?

He gritted his teeth as he leapt onto Appa's saddle again. Impulsive ideas surged in his mind, ways to put a stop to a violent battle before it could grow any worse than it would be already… yet even before taking off, Aang suspected the Water Tribe wouldn't be likely to respond well to his ideas on how to defend their territories. Katara's words had cut into him, deeply: he had failed to defend his people. He wanted to think he could have saved them, prevented the genocide of his nation… but Katara wasn't wrong to ask him how, exactly, had he intended to do so. Even without a storm raging, he might have been too late to save his friends, his mentors… and then what? How could he have fought and saved whoever was left when those powerful firebenders surely had been sent with orders to hold nothing back when laying waste on the world Aang had grown in and loved for all his childhood…?

He held back the tears, urging Appa to fly quickly. Katara had been frustrated when she had heard Hakoda and Kanna didn't want him to take off and to fight blindly in the war against the Fire Lord… it felt like eons ago. For some reason, he had thought that meant Hakoda was weary of the fighting, hoping to live life as peacefully as possible rather than letting the fury of revenge take hold of him. But maybe he didn't quite understand… maybe he didn't truly know how far the Water Tribe might go over their ferocious love for their community, and their willingness to defend it.

Yes, he'd seen their training, he'd witnessed as Suki taught the women how to defend themselves, how Sokka helped trained warriors learn how to read an opponent better, how to make the most of the openings left by a foe… somehow, it hadn't crossed Aang's mind that they were training to be able to kill before they were killed. And as sickening as that thought was… wasn't it right? Wasn't it fair, even? He clenched his fists on the reins as Appa landed inside the Tribe, settling in his large hut.

"I… I'm sorry, buddy," Aang said, as he climbed off Appa's neck, patting one of his large horns gently. "I know I said we'd have some fun once we were done with the ice walls and all, but… I can't right now. I'll come back in a bit, okay?"

Appa responded with his typical, gentle-mannered grunts. He pressed his head to Aang, who sighed and embraced him for a moment that felt much shorter than it was. His hand ran through the creature's fur, finding companionship and comfort in him… he knew, no matter what happened, that Appa would understand him. He had been his companion throughout his life in the good times and the bad, and he stood by Aang's side no matter what. Even if he couldn't see eye to eye with the Water Tribe, he'd never have such fears with his faithful sky bison.

"See you later, buddy," he smiled, reassured by his gentle friend, although his soul remained distraught.

He trudged out of the bison's home with heavier footsteps than usual, kicking snow lightly on his way to the center of the village. Suki's teaching hours would begin shortly, so the likelihood was that Sokka might already be by the training area, at the center of the village. If he wanted to talk to him, he'd do best to catch him before Mari started her typical demands to hear more about Princess Jing's adventures…

His ruminations were interrupted when the sound of cheers and hoots reached his ears: Aang perked up immediately, puzzled by whatever might have stirred the Tribe's spirits so much. Had Sokka started the storytelling session already, and most the warriors had joined in, going by the chorus of male voices? Though there was female laughter as well… perhaps they had been distracted from their lessons today?

Aang's confusion wasn't dispelled when the center of the village came into view: it seemed everyone had gathered there, watching something at the center of the crowd. The Avatar pushed himself up on his toes to look over the tribespeople that cheered and laughed…

His jaw dropped upon glimpsing Hakoda brandishing a spear, circling carefully around Sokka, who matched his movements perfectly while only holding a knife.

The jovial attitude of the townsfolk suggested this was no violent scuffle, no actual conflict between the father and the son. Hakoda, in fact, seemed to be smiling when his face came into full view for Aang, and he wondered if Sokka was returning the gesture or not…

Hakoda stepped forward and jabbed at Sokka: the quick-paced, younger man stepped out of the way evenly, his movements perfectly timed and controlled as he swung his knife at his father. Hakoda swept the spear towards his opponent, but Sokka ducked underneath it quickly and dashed in: the knife was at Hakoda's throat before he could so much as blink in surprise.

Another deafening roar of cheers and hoots thundered in the village, and this time Aang could see it was accompanied by the laughter of father and son. Hakoda raised his hands in surrender instants before Sokka withdrew his weapon, shaking his head.

"Didn't I tell you? Of course you could beat me with just the knife!" Hakoda chuckled, patting his son's shoulder. "Curses, Sokka, you move faster than lightning…"

"No, I don't!" he rebuffed, amused and flustered by the flattery. "Come on, Dad…"

"You've beaten me on even grounds, beaten me at a disadvantage… if I told you to tie a hand and a leg behind your back, you'd likely get me too," Hakoda snickered. Sokka's laughter had something of shyness to it, but it was genuine, just as when he laughed while telling stories to Zuko's daughter.

"Come on, Dad… you're just not used to my fighting style nowadays, that's all there is to it," he concluded, shaking his head. "Give it a few weeks and you'll wipe the floor with me, like you always did."

"A few weeks? Sokka, you could give me ten lifetimes and you'd still beat me…"

"Hell, no! No way…!"

"Do you guys have time for another bout?" Kattan asked, excitedly, gazing at Hakoda and Sokka in wonder as he stood at the front of the crowd. "Just the one…!"

"This was supposed to be the last one, wasn't it?" Sokka asked, smiling a little. "Pretty sure Suki won't be long…"

His attempt to spot Suki, however, led his eyes towards Aang instead. Sokka's smile waned at once, replaced by a crooked eyebrow that most his admirers seemed to take as ominous, or at least, worrisome. All their eyes fell upon Aang, who tensed up underneath their stares. Never before had he felt more like an outsider to the Water Tribe… but as daunted as he might feel for a moment, he needed to speak with Hakoda and Sokka at once.

"Everything okay by the bay?" Sokka asked, immediately pinpointing trouble, judging by Aang's semblance. The Avatar didn't respond, electing to step closer instead.

"Can we… talk, for a moment? I guess you were busy, but as you said this was the last bout…" Aang said, quietly.

Sokka blinked a few times before nodding, glancing at the lingering crowd. As much as they might have wished to witness Sokka's fighting prowess one more time, the change in mood upon Aang's arrival had been a more effective deterrent than anything else would have been.

"Sure thing," Sokka said, clasping his shoulder to guide him away from the center of the village. "The lessons should start any moment now, so whatever you have to say… best say it before it's time for Jing and Wentai."

"Right," Aang smiled, glancing back at Hakoda. "Uh… maybe I should speak to both of you, actually?"

"Both of us?" Hakoda repeated, raising his eyebrows. "Well, now. That sounds intriguing."

Aang smiled weakly but said nothing: if Hakoda was hoping to hear a request for his daughter's hand in marriage, he'd surely be disappointed. To think he had been moments away from proposing to Katara properly, not so long ago… and now he found himself wondering if theirs was still a romantic relationship, for starters. They hadn't kissed a single time since that day… all their conversations had versed around Sokka and all efforts to defend the Tribe. Even while working together, by themselves, Katara had kept him at bay, as though wanting no distractions from their duties…

Once they stepped away from the training area, standing between Hakoda's igloo and the next one – the tribe's newest warriors had started gathering for their upcoming lesson already, though Suki fortunately hadn't arrived just yet –, Aang breathed out and looked at the father and son with a distraught frown.

"I only just learned about the bombs. The… tangle mines, whatever Katara called them," he said, gritting his teeth. "I… I understand her reasoning. I know why she thinks this is necessary, but I'm surprised to find either of you think so too. I'm not gullible, I know the Fire Nation won't show us mercy… but I'm surprised to find the Water Tribe doesn't intend to show any, either."

"Mercy?" Hakoda repeated, a hint of confusion and disbelief in his voice. "You may be thinking too much of it, Aang…"

"I'm not. Those are still lives that will be taken by the explosions of those bombs, soldiers who have homes and families, just like yours," he said, glancing at Sokka in particular. "You know it better than I do."

Sokka gritted his teeth, averting his gaze from Aang. The Avatar thought he recognized guilt in Sokka's countenance… yet he took for granted he understood its source mere instants before Sokka spoke.

"Yeah. They had homes… they had families. They had reasons to live on and fight for everything they believed in. And I killed them anyway."

His words floored Aang and gave Hakoda pause as well. The Avatar's eyes widened upon finding that the vacancy in Sokka's soul had reared its head once more: it wasn't the storyteller speaking now, or the instructor of the warriors…

It was the Gladiator.

"I've taken many lives, Aang. Far more than you have… far more than I hope you ever will," he said, his voice deep and earnest. "They… they did not deserve to die either. I simply was… faster, cleverer, stronger. I outsmarted them… I did whatever I could to survive. They were doing the same thing. There was an unspoken respect between us because of that. And every fight that left a scar across my body was a reminder of that respect. Of the fact that I carry countless deaths on my conscience… and so, I also carry the wordless promise that I'll make something of myself to prove worthy of my survival."

"S-Sokka…" Aang gritted his teeth: he felt as though he'd swallowed a whole block of ice. Where he had tried to jog Sokka out of his misery weeks ago, now he found himself struck by a blast of wisdom he wasn't sure he knew what to make of. "I… I don't mean the people you had to fight were worth less than these soldiers, if that's what you thought. It's only…"

"Aang… I know," Sokka said, cutting him off with a strange, gentle firmness that startled Aang: it almost felt as though he were speaking to Hakoda, instead… "I know why you're against it. I know why you're disturbed by the idea of us blowing up their ships. Even if the damage weren't severe, the likelihood that all of them would survive is poor, at best. They don't deserve to die… and if I can avoid killing them, then I will. If we can defeat them without going too far, I assure you, I'd choose to do that, without any doubt. Compassion isn't worthless, none of us thinks that… but that we can so much as wield compassion is already a privilege most people aren't granted. In fact… it's a privilege the Fire Nation army has long been denied. They fight to their best, to the death if they must. They… they might get blown up, drowned, buried alive, even set on fire, and they'll still never think of surrendering against the enemy. It's what they're taught to do… it's what the Fire Lord demands they do. They've been told that the world is theirs for the taking, and they're wielded as weapons, far-reaching and destructive weapons, to enforce their Fire Lord's will. They… they aren't free to make a choice, Aang. And because they're not, they'll march headfirst into death for the sake of a nation that will sacrifice them, one by one, until the Fire Lord gets what he wants."

Sokka breathed deeply, his chest rising and falling as his father placed a hand on his shoulder. Sokka gritted his teeth, glancing at Aang pointedly once again.

"If you can defeat them without killing them, I'd be thrilled for it. If you can win this war for us without even fighting it, we'll all be grateful. But… I don't think even the all-mighty Avatar can stop a massive force of Fire Nation battleships on his own. Your past lives… they seem to have taken their responsibilities onto their shoulders and shared them with very little people, if any at all. You don't have to do this. In fact… I did think you could be a great help in the battlefield, but I won't demand that you're there if you refuse to fight."

"I won't refuse to fight," Aang said, looking at Sokka pleadingly. "It's just…"

"These bombs are necessary," Sokka said, shaking his head. "Trust me… they won't stop just because of them. And even if we win the first bout, more are bound to follow afterwards. He will never tire, he will never stop… not until I'm dead, and even then, he might do his best to destroy the Tribe afterwards just for the sake of it. I won't allow him to get away with that. The Fire Lord has taken too damn much from me as it is, and I'm not going to let him take anything else."

"I understand that," Aang whispered, breathing deeply. "I just was raised to… to cherish and respect life, in all circumstances. He's the descendant of the man who destroyed my people, but… but so is Zuko. I can't condemn them for the actions of their forebears…"

"And for the actions they take now?" Hakoda asked, raising his eyebrows. Aang gritted his teeth. "Fire Lord Ozai wants to kill my son. He would destroy my whole world if I don't fight back. Where Zuko has chosen to learn better, his father never did. I understand your apprehension, Aang, but…"

"You once said you wouldn't send me to fight a war on my own," Aang said, looking at him reproachfully. "I… I thought you didn't wish to fight anymore."

"To pick fights? Certainly not," Hakoda said, nodding. "I didn't wish to sacrifice you to the war either, Aang. But if things go the way they probably will… the war will come to us, whether we want it to or not. I don't fight for vengeance anymore, Aang… but I will fight for the living. For those that remain. For those whom I might yet be able to defend, even if it takes me my last breath. I may not be as spry as I once was, and my son here is certainly the better warrior now…"

"Dad, really…"

"But my willingness to fight for my people has not changed, Aang," Hakoda assured him, gazing at him intently. "I would not make choices for you. I did not wish to send you to certain death in the Fire Nation' clutches, thus, I ensured Katara would set aside her grandiose ideas and wishful thinking: she had no plans, no information, no means through which to attain victory if she took off alone with you to fight this war. The situation now is different… vastly different. But as Sokka said it… if you can't bring yourself to fight alongside us, you don't need to do it. Your strength and talent would certainly come in handy… and you could even have a hand at ensuring a fair number of those soldiers don't meet their deaths, outright, by defeating them yourself. But if you do not wish to face these battles, Aang, there isn't a single soul in this Tribe that will drag you into it against your will, I swear it."

"But we will fight," Sokka said. Hakoda nodded.

"We will fight," he confirmed. Sokka's fists trembled at either side of his body.

"That's the main reason why I came back," he admitted. Both Hakoda and Aang gazed at him with uncertainty. "Because… because Ozai would attack, sooner or later. I'm here to help defend the Tribe at all costs. I know the value of a life, of any life… thus, I don't take any fight for granted. But with all the lives the Fire Lords have already cost every nation, including those of their own soldiers… letting them win without resistance would only result in more violence in the end. I won't pretend that they'll surrender immediately if we win this battle… but there's even less of a chance that they'd do that if we don't fight back.

"I always believed there were other ways to stop a reign of violence… peaceful ways. It was one of the reasons why I… why I stood at her side, without any doubt in my mind or heart that she'd change this world for the better. I didn't… didn't want it to be through violence, through death, and it wouldn't have been, if only…"

He couldn't finish that sentence. He felt choked up again, and he took a deep breath in hopes to chase away the unwanted sensation. The other two remained silent before he finished his thoughts.

"This wasn't the only way. Ideally, none of this would have had to happen," Sokka whispered. "But these… these are the lives we have to lead. As much as we wish things could be simpler, they're not. Wasting away, wishing for time to turn back and for the chance to do things over, to change fate… it will do no one any favors. We're the ones who get to choose who we want to be. I could just continue to grieve, in all honesty I still do, every damn day, but if I don't stand up and fight now, there's a chance I never will have the choice to fight again. I already have to live with the consequences from enough bad choices I've made… I refuse to make the wrong one this time, too."

Aang gritted his teeth, in silent surrender. Sokka did understand… Sokka didn't wish to do this, just as Katara had said he didn't. But he had no choice, or at least, he thought he didn't have one. Whether he was right or wrong, though, Sokka was willing to respect his stance enough to let him sit out the battle while the rest of them waged war on the likely invaders who would reach their shores sooner than later…

"If I could think of something else to prevent more casualties, a plan we could set in motion…" Aang asked, anxiously. "Do you guys think we could do it? Would you… would you agree to that?"

"Hmm. Well… I'd think so, yes," Hakoda said, nodding as he glanced at Sokka. "While a few of our warriors are quite bloodthirsty, whether because they're old and vengeful or young and resentful, I know I would welcome a peaceful solution."

"Just, don't turn yourself in to the Fire Nation forces by striking some sort of deal to keep them outside our waters," Sokka said, eyeing Aang pointedly. "It'd be a seriously bad idea, so don't even think about it, alright?"

"I… wasn't thinking about that. But I'll keep that in mind," Aang said, smiling sadly. "I… I guess I'm sorry for not really understanding you guys earlier. I know neither of you are eager to kill anyone, but I was afraid that… that you might be going too far without thinking of the consequences, I guess?"

"Trust me… once you kill people without wanting to, there's no chance you'll ever kill again without thinking of the consequences," Sokka said, with a heavy frown. "I've fought Fire Nation soldiers before. I've stood against and beside them in battle. I know how single-minded they can be about victory… I know all I need to know about their willingness to sacrifice themselves for a wretched Fire Lord who could spend the rest of his days tortured and locked in a dungeon, eating nothing but festering moosow shit, and it'd still be too good for what he deserves. He doesn't deserve their loyalty, their faithfulness. He doesn't deserve his own nation. He certainly doesn't deserve his daughter or his son. If it was in my power to do so I'd target him, and him alone… but this is all we can do for now. I don't really know what to expect after the first battle ends… but I guess we'll have to wait and see if a first battle happens at all, for starters."

"It's bound to. But until it does, we have time to prepare… time to plan," Hakoda said, glancing at Aang earnestly. "We know who the true enemy is. You needn't fear we'll lose our way. Like Sokka said… compassion is a privilege, and I certainly hope we'll have a chance to exercise it."

"But there's no chance you'll exercise it if you don't fight, first," Aang finished, echoing Katara's earlier words. Hakoda nodded as the Avatar sighed in defeat. "Alright, then… alright. I'll give this more thought. I will be there, and I will fight alongside you if I can't find another way. But I do hope that… that the Princess succeeds at keeping the Fire Lord from sending soldiers at all. Your people deserve to live in peace… to not have to worry about fighting wars against the Fire Nation. Just as theirs deserve to be set free from their horrible tyrant's clutches."

He was the Avatar, after all. Wasn't it supposed to be his duty to deal with these sorts of problems? The idea felt gargantuan, immeasurably large… but perhaps that was why he had a lifetime to make it happen. He didn't think he knew where to start… but perhaps defending this beautiful village and Tribe was a good starting point.

"Alright, then… if that's settled, I think someone needs Sokka's attention," Hakoda said, smiling a little as he patted his son's shoulder.

One glance at the center of the village revealed that Mari, who had arrived along with her mother by then, seemed quite distressed upon not spotting Sokka nearby so far. He couldn't help but smile and shake his head at the child's concern, glancing back at his father and Aang as he started to step back into the light.

"If you need to talk more about this, we can do it over dinner, maybe," Sokka suggested. "For now, though… my babysitting duties beckon."

Aang offered him a half-hearted smile as he approached the child: Mari's eyes brightened immediately, and she took to chanting Wentai and Jing's names happily while Sokka reassured her he had a great story for her today, yet again…

"I know it can be hard to wrap your head around changes often… it is for everyone. Don't let all those legends about the Water Tribe's adaptability fool you," Hakoda told Aang, patting the young man's shoulder now. Aang sighed but nodded, bowing his head in defeat. "You get to choose who you want to be, however… just as my son said you did. It's astonishing how wise he's become over the years, you know?"

"You must be very proud of him," Aang smiled a little. Hakoda nodded.

"Of him and Katara, of course… of this whole Tribe. You included, naturally," Hakoda grinned, squeezing Aang's bony shoulder gently. "I know the dark moments make the brighter ones feel… well, dim and weak in comparison. But those bright moments are the ones that make life worth living… the ones that fill you with the strength to fight at your hardest whenever dark times arrive. It isn't easy, of course… but once you find something so beautiful, your heart just beats to protect it, right?"

Aang gritted his teeth but nodded, feeling tears burning in his eyes, his jaw tight as he gazed out at the Tribe: the same people who had cheered earlier while watching Sokka dueling his father… the same people who now laughed and chatted as they waited for Suki's lessons to begin. The same people who had welcomed him when he had fallen out of time, right into their laps… the same people who decided to protect him from the Fire Nation and to give him a place among them.

Building his resolve to fight back felt a lot easier when he allowed the better moments to shine the brightest in his soul… maybe he'd waver and hesitate again when the moment of truth arrived. But for now… for now he could only accept that they were right, all three of them. Katara, Sokka and Hakoda… they were right to protect their beautiful home, no matter what it might take.

---

It was Zhao who'd had enough of "living in muck", and Zhao who had decided to do something about it. Devoid of any form of motivation, Azula had simply laid in bed silently, offering no input, no opinions, no opposition or agreement to his grand decision to find his maid and bring her to clean the room, for none of the servants seemed willing to do so. Their refusal made perfect sense: over half the previous staff had worked for Azula in some capacity and their services had been terminated for no other reason than that. They would cook for her, but even entering the Princess's room to deliver the meal was too much of a risk, apparently: thus, Renkai took to bringing her meals himself, dutifully ensuring she wouldn't starve to death… or at least, that she'd have the means through which she could prevent starving to death, if she could be bothered to eat at all.

Her dragon wasn't much better off: the guards pushed food towards his jaws carefully with a large pole through a barely open door. He would refuse to eat unless he thought he wasn't being watched, but at least he seemed more willing to feed himself these days, surely because his body's energy reserves were much too weak to resist the temptation of food anymore. He had spat plums of fire out of the refuge upon every attempt to feed him, but his weakened flames couldn't achieve much more these days other than scorching his meal lightly.

It was a miserable existence for the two connected beings, as physical and not-so physical trappings seemed to hold them down in captivity. Azula climbed out of bed only on occasion, only when Zhao wasn't around. She would do it to eat, or to drink, or to wash herself slightly…

Or to hurl, at times. It kept happening throughout the weeks after the wedding, but she did her very best to contain the urge if Zhao was nearby, only giving into it in his absence. So far, he seemed to credit her sickly appearance to her depression… and he wasn't entirely wrong to do so, truth be told.

Sometimes, the bed was her only comfort. Then, some other times, she wanted to set it, and the whole room, on fire. It matched the flames that kept popping up in her dreams lately… fire, swirling and rushing, overwhelming and powerful, consuming everything. Consuming the man with the metal limbs until he was nothing but ashes, consuming a whole building until it was nothing but its foundations… consuming the men immolated on those pyres, screaming in righteous fury, a final act of defiance against a world that had granted them no mercy. Consuming a twisting weapon, one that exploded in a burst of blood, corrupting everything in its wake. Consuming her brother's face as he screamed, kneeling before the Fire Lord who refused to acknowledge him as his son… the Fire Lord whose wrath now turned to her.

But his fire did not burn her, for he had aimed above her… he had aimed at a two-story house, so familiar and comforting, a safe place where there was nothing to fear, where she could crawl into another bed and find true belonging, happiness…

And it was on fire. The flames licked the walls and the roof, the crackling of every collapsing column, of the building slowly crashing unto itself, seemed to destroy and consume her at the same time. A shape in the fire, a humanoid shape, extending a hand towards her, and she reached for it: they could get out, he could get out, if she could save only him, him alone…!

She couldn't. The flames engulfed her too. Fire had never hurt her before… but it did now.

The first time it happened, she'd woken with a start. She'd climbed out of bed, scrambled to her desk and perched there, refusing to close her eyes for another moment. The darkness of the room in the middle of the night had done little to chase away her nightmare… neither had the shape that laid beside her, breathing calmly and easily. Either he hadn't woken when she leapt out of bed, or he had… and he'd also decided to do nothing about it. Which, frankly, was for the better. His very presence felt like a nightmare of its own, and it would do nothing to chase away the dreadful, singed feeling digging into her gut, even now.

So she'd taken her seat there, and she'd poured out her sorrows for a night. The result of said surrender had been stuffed away quickly, safely, so no one would see it… but no one would, as nobody wanted to clean this place anyway. Her mostly untouched desk had been lined with dust except where she had perched herself, and as far as she could tell, it would remain that way forever.

On her birthday, she'd stayed in bed for most the day. She wasn't sure if Zhao's grand gesture of finding and bringing Rei to serve them was intended as some sort of birthday present, but the way he behaved suggested he either didn't remember the date or didn't care to acknowledge it, if he did. Rei, of course, hadn't known what day it was… but to Azula's surprise, the young woman, daunted as she appeared to be, hadn't seemed genuinely scared of her. She hadn't judged her… hadn't looked at her like she was a hazard of some sort, a bomb waiting for ignition or so: Zhao did. The soldiers who had brought her to the Palace on that airship did, too. Even her father did, on some measure, though his behavior suggested he intended to stop said ignition by any means necessary.

Not Rei, though. She seemed to be perfectly happy around the bomb… hell, it was as though she didn't even realize there was a bomb in the first place. After watching the young woman work on the days following her arrival, it seemed she truly didn't think the Princess represented any form of danger. She dusted every piece of furniture, swept the carpeted floor as thoroughly as she could, then she proceeded to clean the solid marble floors by pressing a wet rag to the floor and running from one end of the room to the next… Azula had no idea if that was how all the servants cleaned, for she was never present when they did it. But there was something childish and innocent, to Rei, a purity that might be attributed to her youth. As far as Azula could tell, she might be around a decade younger than herself, give or take… the circumstances surrounding Rei's very existence were rather mysterious for someone who appeared as straight-forward and kind-hearted as she did.

Today marked a week after her first day on the job. She had cleaned the room thoroughly for the seventh time in a row, and she had been thrilled when lunchtime arrived – Renkai now brought food for the two of them, perhaps under Zhao's orders? Azula wasn't sure, but she suspected as much. Then, Rei had taken to her duties again, cleaning the bathroom next. Azula heard the noise as she returned to the bed from the dining room after eating her meal, watching the closed door with undeniable curiosity. How many times a week did anyone need to clean a bathroom? Was it supposed to be done daily? For Rei certainly had done as much… did she expect that to be necessary for a royal, perhaps? Had Zhao somehow given her an order to do so? Part of her wanted to ask Rei… but at the same time, she didn't dare. The young woman appeared profoundly nervous whenever she addressed her, no matter if Azula had no ill intent towards her.

After two hours of devoted work, Rei finally left the private bathroom, brushing her sweaty brow with the back of her hand. Azula blinked a few times as she watched her walk across the room, towards the water jug that rested on one of the pieces of furniture near the dining room, a set of cabinets where many valuables were stored. Upon noticing Azula's gaze on her, though, Rei glanced back at the Princess warily.

"C-can I… have some water?" she asked.

Azula eyed her with a slight frown for a moment before nodding… though she didn't respond with that nod alone.

"You don't have to ask that every time. Drink as often and as much as you need to," she said, simply. Rei flinched, blushing and nodding.

"Yes, Princess," she said, her voice soft and small… as though she'd been scolded. Had she truly lived her life feeling guilt for even something as simple and vital as requesting a drink of water? Her behavior certainly suggested as much.

The girl triggered far more reactions in Azula than she ever expected to feel again, especially towards someone she'd barely known. She remembered Rei fairly well, as her awkward reverence had always lingered in her mind as one of the silliest, and most endearing, somehow, that she'd ever received. Even then, two years ago, Rei had seemed remarkably nervous… but that had been the normal behavior of a servant, in Azula's eyes. Maybe now, upon falling from grace, she had far more compassion for those in Rei's role than she'd had before. Maybe, after everything she had cost to her own staff, Azula found herself wishing she'd been better to them… wishing she hadn't assumed, blindly, that her father would be sensible enough to focus the brunt of his rage on her rather than burning down everything around her and forcing her to watch it, to live on with the knowledge of what her choices had cost to everyone else.

Rei, Azula suspected, was utterly unaware of all those things… for her behavior hardly reflected the horror that should manifest upon knowing that her job might be a death sentence, or at least, a slavery sentence. In fact… her behavior reflected nothing but the anxious eagerness to do right by a respected figure of authority.

Everything indicated she had no idea what had happened to Azula: Zhao hadn't told her anything.

Water trickled on the cup, and Rei drained it quickly before refilling it anew. She released a happy sigh after she had her fill, and now she turned a grateful smile, and performed a small bow, towards Azula.

"Thank you for your generosity," she said, a twinkle of genuine happiness in her voice. Azula raised an eyebrow as she stared at her, pointedly.

"This isn't generosity. It's… normal. It's only right," she said, simply. Rei blinked blankly before that same hint of nervousness struck her, but this time, Azula caught notice of it quickly. "And no, you didn't do or say anything wrong. You have no reason to apologize."

Rei's mouth opened, then she closed it, and then she blushed. Clearly, she had been about to apologize again, but the Princess's last sentence stopped her on her tracks. It seemed she was predictable enough, regardless of how mysterious she could be…

"I'm not trying to say it's wrong…" Azula continued, biting her lip. "None of what you've done is wrong. This room was… well, not cleaned at all for a very long time, so cleaning it many times over can only do it good. Were you given orders to clean everything so thoroughly every day, though? It seems it exhausts you."

"I…! I'm fine," Rei assured her, still very much red in the face. "I can clean every day, I promise. I am still learning how to polish the gold embellishments properly, but I'll do better…"

"That's… not an answer to my question," Azula pointed out. Rei flinched. "Did Zhao tell you to do this? Did… d-did the Fire Lord?"

Rei shook her head: she betrayed no surprise, no confusion, upon hearing Azula referring to her father through his title rather than through their filial connection. Again, more small mysteries that Azula suspected painted a much more complex picture than she dared unravel just yet.

"Admiral Zhao… wanted me to clean. But he didn't say how often, s-so… I assumed it was to be every day," she admitted, hands behind her back, once again acting like a scolded child. "I… I can come by less often, if you like. If you prefer it…"

"I'm not saying this for my sake," Azula said, eyeing Rei with uncertainty. Rei blinked blankly. "I just… I can't help but think you could probably use some time off, whether resting or reading a book, or just… anything, really. I don't mind if you take breaks when you need them… if anything, I'd rather you do. You shouldn't overwork yourself."

"I…" Rei said, gritting her teeth. "I don't know if… if that's allowed."

"What? Breaks?" Azula asked, frowning. "You're trying to say Zhao never gave you any breaks at his estate…?"

"No! I… I did have them, I did," Rei answered quickly, though she still seemed to shrink in place. "I mean… I don't know if I'm allowed to have time off here, if… if that makes sense? If you say I am, t-then I guess so, but… I don't know what I'm allowed to do."

"I just told you to read a book if you wish. You can borrow any of them, I have plenty," Azula said, gesturing carelessly at a bookshelf near the window. Rei's cheeks reddened further. "What did you do in your free time at Zhao's estate, if I can ask?"

"I… I shouldn't say," Rei mumbled. Azula raised an eyebrow.

"That's a bad answer," she said. "I'm going to start imagining rather outlandish things unless you clear up whatever it was."

"Outlandish…?"

"You switched the salt and the sugar, so whenever Zhao drank tea, he'd pour salt into it and then be disgusted upon taking the first sip," Azula suggested. Rei gasped in horror. "You threw secret parties for your friends whenever Zhao wasn't home…"

"No! I didn't!" Rei said, shaking her head vigorously, but Azula continued.

"You doodled funny shapes in the mirror so that, when Zhao looked at his reflection, he'd have spiky hair and a mustache thicker than his sideburns…"

"That…! I wouldn't do that!" Rei said, though she seemed to be somewhere between mortified and amused, by now.

"Ah… I know. You snuck all the sweets in the kitchen and ate them before dinner. Then he arrived and found you weren't hungry, and he told you off for having dessert before you were supposed to…?"

"I…! No!" Rei laughed at last, shaking her head vigorously. "He wouldn't have noticed if I had, and… uh…"

For a moment, it seemed as though time had stopped: the Princess was smiling.

It didn't last very long, but she saw it. In that whole week, it hadn't happened once. Unbeknownst to Rei, it hadn't happened in far longer than that. Even if the slight curve of her lips returned to its natural form quickly enough, her amusement had been real… Rei had made her smile, somehow.

"Well, it's a bit strange if he wouldn't have noticed," Azula said, taking a deep breath. "I did that a few times when I was a child, and… and my mother never failed to be outraged by my gluttony. Mochi is much too addictive, you see… if the kitchens ever make mochi for you, refrain from offering me any. The next thing you know, I'll have nicked all of yours in a heartbeat."

"I… I wouldn't mind sharing," Rei said, with a shy smile. Azula scoffed.

"If the day ever comes, I assure you, you will regret saying that," Azula said… and again, she smiled a little. Just a little.

This had been their longest conversation so far: Rei found herself more and more intrigued by the Princess, unaware that the Princess felt the exact same way about her. Still, the implication of the Princess's words just now lingered, unspoken, until Rei suddenly grasped for it. Her brow drew slightly as she gazed at Azula, warily.

"Y-you… you said your mother would be upset if you ate all the mochi?" she asked. Azula nodded. "You expected… Admiral Zhao to feel that way too, if I did anything like that?"

"I… guess so," Azula admitted, frowning at the young woman's unexpected, sharp assessment. For an innocent, quiet maid, Rei wasn't half as meek as she pretended to be, Azula suspected.

"W-why…?" Rei started, but she lowered her head quickly. "I… I mean, well… never mind. I'm sorry, I…"

"Don't apologize when you've done nothing wrong," Azula said, curtly. Rei flinched. "And don't apologize now for apologizing too much, either. I swear, I thought no one was…"

No one was as bad as Sokka at apologizing excessively. Yes, she thought that. But how to utter those words? Her heart pumped pain through her system immediately, and she fell silent without finishing her sentence…

Which left Rei to make guesses to complete that thought by herself.

"Y-you thought no one was… bound to have a child with Admiral Zhao?"

Her sudden admission revealed the young woman wasn't unaware of her identity, something Azula had wondered about so far. Her willingness to give away the information, however, implied she had either deemed Azula worthy of knowing that truth, or determined Azula had already learned it, through any other means. The Princess clenched her jaw, studying the girl before her with uncertainty.

"Well… I didn't quite expect it until I learned of it, it's true," Azula admitted. Rei flinched, eyeing Azula with a strange glint of hope. What was that about? "I'd never known the Admiral to have a relationship with anyone… he never spoke of looking forward to settling down, and, well… he didn't want a wife. I'm well aware of that, it doesn't change my circumstances in the least. Thus… I was surprised when I realized what your connection to him was."

"He told you…?" Rei asked, uncertain: her eyes widened when Azula shook her head. "No?"

"Well, he confirmed my suspicions after I guessed it correctly, I'd say," Azula whispered. "It… ugh, it must have happened well over a year ago. I'd forgotten all about that so far…"

"About…?" Rei asked, biting her lip.

"About Hahn," Azula said the name with spite, and Rei flinched upon hearing it again. The Princess turned a remorseful, compassionate gaze on her. "He was already harassing you when we first met, wasn't he? And then… then he did something bad enough that you fled from home. Zhao said you'd run off to your mother's place, that it was where he'd found you, and that you were safe… I guessed you were his daughter after that."

"O-oh… I see," Rei said, softly. Her large eyes still raked Azula's own in quick glances that drew back to the floor, shortly afterwards.

"Zhao said Hahn hadn't done anything to you," Azula whispered, gritting her teeth. "I don't know if that's true… though I hope so. It's hard to believe a disloyal piece of shit like him could be Water Tribe…"

"He didn't do anything, no…" Rei said, breathing deeply. "He tried, but… I got away. I rode away, rather…"

"Rode away?" Azula repeated. Rei blushed and nodded.

"T-that's… what I liked doing most, in my free time," she confessed, as the conversation seemed to circle back to its initial point. "The dragon moose in the estate's stables… I liked riding him if the Admiral wasn't home."

"Huh…" Azula blinked a few times. "That's… not even a little mischievous."

"I wasn't allowed…" Rei mumbled. Azula, however, smiled again.

"You weren't allowed, or you never asked if you were?"

"U-uh… well. I… guess the second thing," Rei admitted. Azula snorted, shaking her head.

"You've spent your whole life assuming everything's out of bounds, seems to me," Azula said. "Well, you can set aside those concerns when you're in here, at least. If you're planning on cleaning everything thoroughly every single day… the least I can do is give you freedom to do whatever you wish to once you're done. Or to ask for permission to do whatever you wish to, that is…"

"Really? But… huh," Rei swallowed hard. "Is there a dragon moose I can ride…? If there are stables, they'll think I'm a nobody and won't let me ride them, but…"

"If things were any different, I'd say I could give you written permission to get whatever you wanted, but… my word's not worth much, these days," Azula admitted, with a sigh. "And the truth is we don't have stables in the Palace. Only… a dragon refuge. And nobody's going to be riding Xin Long… for a fairly long time, I fear."

"That… is that your dragon?" asked Rei, softly. "I heard that, back when I was… a-at my mother's place? That a new dragon was found and that it was yours… i-is he sick? Is that why no one can ride him…?"

"Sick, huh?" Azula repeated, with a deep sigh. "Maybe that's not the right word, but it'll have to do. We both are."

Rei remained perplexed by Azula's odd answer. Could dragons and riders share a sickness? It was odd, though… for, as sickly as the Princess appeared, she seemed relatively healthy sometimes, such as right now. Perhaps it wasn't quite the kinds of sicknesses Rei was used to hearing about…?

"Either way… I'm sorry. Under any other circumstances, I'd have seen to it that you could ride a dragon moose whenever you wished to… but I guess at best you'd have to ask Zhao. Maybe he could pull some strings…"

"I-I'd rather not inconvenience him…"

The words sank ill in Azula's heart: the shy girl before her offered an unwanted mirror, a reflection of who she was now, a broken woman who had once been proud and strong instead. Curses, Rei didn't call Zhao her father either… much as she wasn't allowed, apparently, to call Ozai anything but Fire Lord, these days. She didn't want to inconvenience him… she didn't want to get hurt. She didn't want to lose whatever privileges she'd earned…

"Has he ever been… cruel to you?" Azula asked. Rei's eyes flew wide open in surprise. "Has he hurt you somehow?"

"No! No, of course not!" Rei answered quickly. Too quickly, perhaps… yet Azula detected no dishonesty in her words. The nervousness, the fear… they seemed to have another source, not necessarily Zhao. Her mother, then…? Who was her mother, in the first place? "Admiral Zhao has been… he has been kind to me. He never hit me even if I did things wrong, he… he gave me a room of my own, and he always bought food so I'd have enough to eat while he was gone. He has never done anything to hurt me…"

"Hmm. Good to know," Azula muttered, breathing deeply. Maybe the problem was more complex than she realized… she shouldn't pry, for she suspected Rei didn't quite appreciate being poked and prodded at in this manner. "Well, at any rate, riding certainly is a fantastic feeling, but you can resort to smaller means of entertainment instead, for now. I suppose you're not comfortable with the other servants yet, but maybe they'll have a few ideas on what you can do with your time off? I doubt they spend every waking moment panicking about their duties… well, I doubt they did. Maybe they do now, come to think of it…"

"It's fine, Princess. I… I don't mind cleaning every day," Rei said, softly. "I don't mind at all. But… is it a problem for you, if I'm here? D-do I… inconvenience you?"

"What? No," Azula scoffed. "You're the first person I've talked to since…"

Since the damn wedding, that was right. She was the first person she'd actually felt like talking to… because Rei seemed lost, much like she felt. Because Rei didn't seem to understand any of what was happening right now… because Rei couldn't possibly judge her a rotten, disgusting excuse of a human being, at least not until she learned the truth. Zhao had refused to share it with her, so far… her innocent behavior implied as much. Maybe, by the time she started looking at her with that reproachful disappointment so present in the eyes of Rei's own father, Azula wouldn't feel like talking with her anymore…

Though, for now, Rei remained happily oblivious, and now she was utterly flattered by Azula's second, interrupted confession. Her eyes widened, her cheeks flushed, and she stood in place, fiddling with her fingers awkwardly.

"I… I'm sorry. I didn't know that," she said, smiling a little. "I just… thought maybe I was a bother, b-but I'm glad I'm not. I… like it better here than in the rest of the Palace. The other servants are… w-well, strange. And there's soldiers everywhere, and… and it's all so dark. A-at least in here, it… it feels better. Safer? I guess…"

It wasn't safe here, though… it hadn't been for well over two months. Azula shivered, her downcast eyes shifting to the floor as pangs of unwanted memories struck her: the guards holding her down, caring nothing for how they might hurt her… then the whole slew of men positioned within her room, forced to watch over her at every given moment. Even Renkai's presence, once he helped her back here… and Zhao. The man hadn't done anything intent on hurting her, and yet…

She shook her head rapidly, enough to make the world spin for a moment. It wasn't safe here… but if Rei still felt safer in this room than outside it, Azula certainly could understand that.

"Well… you're free to stay all you want. But you don't have to overwork yourself to have an excuse to be here," Azula clarified, resting back against her pillow. "You can just… sit around and do nothing. Doodle funny pictures if you want… there's still enough ink and paper in those cabinets, if you feel like making use of them."

"I-I know… I put them away, yesterday," Rei said, with a small smile. Azula froze.

"You… huh. I guess I left them sitting out there, did I…?" she mused, frowning. Curses, she was losing her mind, truly. Had she left everything lying out there in the open…?

Oh, yes. Because she'd had an ungodly urge to puke halfway through writing, and she'd rushed to the bathroom. She'd stayed there for hours… then she'd found Rei was back, already working on cleaning up the dining area once she stepped outside the bathroom. She hadn't remembered to put away the papers before getting into bed.

Which meant Rei had seen them and stashed them away herself, hadn't she?

"It's alright," Rei said, smiling. "I put it all away, I found the ink cabinets… and I also found a stack of papers in another cabinet? I'm not sure if that's where they should go, but as they were also scribbled on…"

"You… you really did see that, did you?" Azula asked, her heart tensing, racing, all at once. Rei blinked blankly and nodded.

"I… I wasn't supposed to?" she asked, before shaking her head. "Oh, don't worry! I didn't read any of it!"

"I… I suppose you didn't, you don't strike me as an eavesdropper, but…"

"Well, I wouldn't be a very good one, if I tried to be," Rei admitted, with a weak grin. "I can't read."

For the second time that day, it seemed as though time had stopped. It was a truth the girl admitted without a shred of guilt, of self-awareness or inadequacy… she simply blurted it out in hopes that this, somehow, would serve as the ideal reassurance for Azula.

Naturally, it wasn't.

"You… you can't?" Azula repeated, blinking blankly. "You never… never went to school? Your mother didn't teach you? I'm assuming Zhao was too busy in the war at the time, so I guess he couldn't have, but…"

"Uh…" now it seemed Rei wasn't quite sure what to make of the Princess's reaction to her confession: wasn't it better for servants not to know how to read? Didn't it make them more trustworthy if they couldn't pry into the content of their masters' letters? "N-no, I… I didn't go to school. Nobody taught me, but it's alright! I… I think it's alright. Servants and maids don't… don't really need to read, as far as I know. I may not be the best at my job but… I haven't done it poorly just because I can't read, or at least, nobody's said as much…"

"Rei…" Azula frowned, clenching her jaws. "It's… it's not quite like that. You did your job just fine so far, I'm not saying you would've done better if you could read… heck, it's probably good for me that you couldn't read if you've been through my cabinets, but it's not good for you that you can't do it."

"It… it isn't?" Rei asked, uncertain… and she jolted upwards, her hair standing on end, when Azula suddenly made a move to climb out of bed. "Oh! Y-you don't have to…! I won't go through your cabinets again, I promise, I…!"

"You don't have to make any such promises," Azula sighed, sitting by the edge of the bed before rising to her feet, tugging her sleeping robe into place properly.

She rose to her feet, walking towards the cabinets in question, right by Rei. The girl was at least half a head shorter than Azula, though her hunched shoulders and willingness to make herself as small as possible certainly made her look smaller than she was. The Princess approached the desk and tugged the cabinet open to find the papers she'd forgotten about… the ink was in the right place, but these papers certainly didn't go there. She bit her lip before fishing them out, leaving the cabinet open as she pulled another one below it: it was empty, and it wouldn't host these papers for long. She'd put them someplace safer later, for as much as Rei seemed to be the most harmless being ever – and she couldn't read, on top of it all –, Azula couldn't trust her blindly. She couldn't trust anyone, plain and simple… let alone a girl whose loyalty surely belonged to her father, no matter how distant their relationship might be.

After closing the other cabinet, however, Azula rose to the open one and drew out blank paper, several brushes, and a set of black ink. She closed the cabinet with her hip before reaching for the water jug, pouring just a little water on the inkstone before rubbing the ink stick delicately against the solid stone. Rei watched the process with wide, intrigued eyes, as though such a simple process were the most enthralling sight she'd witnessed.

Then, Azula picked up a brush and dipped it in the ink delicately. It dripped slightly at first: she weeded out the excess ink first before bringing the brush to the paper.

Rei watched intently, appreciating the detailed, controlled motions of the Princess's hand as she dragged the thin brush delicately upon the paper. It seemed as though there were always more and more lines to place upon whatever she was writing… then she stopped. She breathed in before starting again, dipping the brush on the ink once more… and this time, she drew something else entirely. It was another figure with many strange lines, puzzling but intriguing to Rei nonetheless… and she continued to do so for about five minutes, until the paper was fully occupied with symbols Rei couldn't make heads or tails of.

"There we are. The ones I can think of for now, at least," Azula said, looking at her pointedly. "All these are… are different ways to write your name, Rei."

The young woman's eyes widened. Her mouth fell open for an instant, then she closed it again. How on earth was it possible to write her simple name in so many ways? It was so simple, too…

"It can mean… 'wise', here," Azula said, pointing at the right ideogram with her index finger. "Then there's 'small bell', 'beautiful', 'order', even 'oyster' and 'whetstone', 'manners' or, maybe, 'honor', 'plant' or 'mushroom', 'inspire' and…"

"T-that's…! M-my name doesn't mean anything!" Rei exclaimed, blushing crimson and shaking her head. "I-it's just Rei… it's just Rei."

"Oh?" Azula smiled a little, watching the flustered girl beside her with compassionate amusement. "Do any of these make you uncomfortable? Or maybe the idea that your name can represent something is what makes you uncomfortable, instead? I… I think you're rather lucky, you know? Maybe your parents had some reason to call you Rei, a reason beyond my understanding… no idea if they shared it with you. But me? I'm burdened with being named after my grandfather, Azulon. A horrible man, whom my father hated, and yet he named me after him because… well, I suppose in a pointless bid to gain his favor, a bid that didn't even pay off. I've done my best to make my name my own in spite of that, and I'd hope I've succeeded, but…"

A voice echoed in her head… the voice of a memory, calling her name with affection, with longing, with true devotion. He had every reason to hate her name… but he had never let Azulon's shadow hinder her worth in his eyes. Just one more of many generous, kind gifts Sokka had granted her… gifts she grew to appreciate now, more than ever, when she barely had anything left to be grateful for.

"At any rate, unless you know the intended meaning of your name, if you were ever told it had one, you can choose whichever you prefer," Azula said. "In fact… you can pick one meaning right now, if you wish. Maybe you'd rather ask Zhao what your name means, but…"

"He didn't pick it," Rei whispered softly. Azula raised her eyebrows. "He… he wouldn't know what it was supposed to mean, if it was supposed to mean anything, to begin with…"

"Huh. Then… short of asking your mother, I'd think you can just pick one and use that ideogram for yourself," Azula said, shrugging. "It's definitely better than having no choice at all, as far as I can tell."

"I guess…" Rei said, biting her lip before smiling. "One was… mushroom?"

"Really? That's the one you like?" Azula asked, amused. Rei giggled and shrugged.

"It's better than oyster," she said.

"I'd have thought 'wise' was the best call…"

"Oh, no! I'm…! I'm not wise, I don't know…" Rei said, shrinking again as Azula smiled gently at her.

"You don't need to know how to write or read to be wise. Just so you know," she whispered. Rei's cheeks were aflame once more. "How about order, then? Or honor?"

"T-they're too… too important. I'd have much to live up to…" she mumbled softly. Azula shrugged.

"That's fair. Is it easier to live up to 'mushroom'?" she asked.

To her surprise, Rei nodded immediately. Azula smiled again, shaking her head but pulling up another paper, setting it before the young woman.

"Then… let's write mushrooms, shall we?" she said. Rei flinched.

"Y-you'll write it again…?"

"And you'll write it with me. No idea if this is the right way to learn… but it's all I can think of doing right now," Azula said, picking up the brush and dipping it in ink before handing it to Rei. She shook her head promptly, flustered still, and Azula sighed. "Come on. Do you have anything better to do? Want to clean the room a second time?"

"M-maybe…!"

"Cleaning it so thoroughly every day is already more than I'd expect, and you want to do it twice a day so long as you can avoid learning how to do this?" Azula asked, raising an eyebrow. "Come on. It's not going to be as hard as you think it will be."

Rei gritted her teeth: she raised a hand and then withdrew it quickly. Azula sighed, shaking her head.

"If a mushroom could learn how to write, don't you think it'd give it a shot?" she asked. Rei pouted a little.

"Maybe they tried and were no good at it…"

"That still means they went further than you have, so far," Azula pointed out. Rei sighed, and she raised a trembling hand again.

"Y-you're sure it's… it's okay if I do this?" she asked. Azula nodded.

"As you can tell, I don't have anything better to do with my time either. So… try," she said, nodding towards the paper. Rei grimaced but surrendered at last, taking the brush into her hands carefully.

Azula picked up another brush, dipped it in ink and stepped forward. She ushered Rei to follow her lead and trailed one horizontal line on the paper.

"Your turn. Do what I do," Azula said.

Rei swallowed hard and raised her trembling hand towards the paper. Her shaky pulse saw to it that the line was effectively unsteady, nothing like Azula's own smooth one, and Rei grimaced immediately… but Azula didn't say anything. Instead, she continued line by line, placing two short vertical lines around the middle of the first one. Then, a roof-like shape below it, as an incomplete triangle, followed by one smaller horizontal line, then another one that dipped down, with a slight curve, and the final stroke was vertical, right below the final horizontal line.

Rei did her best to follow along… only for the outcome of trembling, wobbly strokes to look next to nothing like Azula's. She groaned and hung her head in disappointment, only for Azula to smile sympathetically, even if Rei didn't notice it.

"Try again," she said, hoping it'd sound encouraging to say so. "You'll only get it right if you practice."

"I… I'll try," Rei sighed, collecting herself and starting anew.

It was no surprise that she tried another order of strokes: Azula corrected her whenever she recognized that intent, and Rei continued to work while utterly flustered, no matter if Azula wasn't harsh in her teachings. Rei's second attempt looked better than the first, but the third was worse, in her opinion. She grimaced but continued, on and on until the paper was full of mushrooms… the idea brought a small giggle out of her lips as she glanced at Azula with uncertainty.

"Is it… better yet?" she asked, softly.

To her delight, Azula nodded, with a small smile of her own. Rei rose up to her full height, gazing at Azula in wonder.

"There's a lot more for you to learn, of course… but if you want to keep practicing mushroom, that's fine too," Azula said. "I… I've never really taught anyone how to do this. I barely remember how I was taught, it was so long ago…"

"Y-you don't have to go out of your way for me… t-this is enough. It's plenty…" Rei said, bowing her head towards her. "I'm grateful that you took your time if just to teach me this one…"

"I have nothing else to do with my time, like I said… teaching someone how to read and write seems better than anything else I've been up to lately," she said, releasing a breath. "At least it's… something to do."

Thoughts had crossed her mind, throughout her conversation with Rei. Heartbreaking thoughts, no doubt… but thoughts that she'd been able to set aside while helping the girl as best she could. For the first time since the initial catastrophe had struck her, Azula finally had something outside of herself to focus on… and it had never even crossed her mind that this, perhaps, would be the best way to live on, at least, for now. Whatever might happen in eight – no, it would be seven months soon –, it was far away enough that, if just for now, teaching Rei how to read might be the best way to pass the time.

"You're sure…?" Rei asked, softly. "It… it's not wrong? Or an inconvenience? I… I'm probably too old to learn anyway…"

"Now that is utterly wrong, for certain," Azula smiled. "I… helped a group of people, who used to be homeless, with readapting to society. Those who didn't know how to read and write learned from scratch and many of them were older than you. Maybe you didn't have a chance to learn earlier, but that doesn't mean you can't learn now. It may be a lot to learn in one go, but… we'll figure out a way to make it smoother for you."

"Y-you… you're much kinder than, w-well…" Rei said, gazing at Azula with unbridled admiration before pulling her eyes away. "Than anyone else I've met so far…?"

"In the Palace?" Azula asked. Rei took a moment to shake her head. Azula gritted her teeth. "Well… this world is messed up, so I can't say that's entirely surprising. I… wasn't always so kind either, truth be told. But… I guess I've changed a lot. Grown a lot, perhaps… and I'm sure you can do the same, if you set your mind to it. Teaching people how to read and write… it allows them to learn about countless things that are written into books. You can even question the contents of a book, if you read it yourself… if you want someone else to read it for you, would you know for sure that they're reading it in its entirety? Would you truly understand and interpret things in the way only you can, if someone else is there to filter content out for you if they feel like it?"

"I… I don't really know," Rei said, blinking blankly. Azula smiled and shrugged.

"Guess you'll understand once you learn to read a bit more," she said. Rei gritted her teeth.

"I may… not learn very fast, though? I'm not that smart…"

"You're not? Why do you say that?" Azula asked. Rei lowered her head and Azula huffed, reading her silence perfectly. "Someone or another told you so, once? And you thought they had to be right?"

"M-maybe…" Rei mumbled. Azula shook her head.

"People who refuse to open their minds and hearts to the possibilities, who can't find any value in that which everyone else already dismisses, people who just follow the beat someone else set for them, without thinking of what anything means… those aren't all that smart," Azula said. "Typically… those are the kinds of people who call others stupid. The people who make horrible decisions and land themselves in a world of trouble for it, while acting like everyone else is the problem. I don't know you all that well, but… you don't strike me as someone who'd be like that, Rei."

"I… I don't want to be like that," Rei whispered. Azula nodded. "I… should learn to read so I won't be?"

"Well, some people who know how to read are that stupid anyway," Azula smiled. "It's about your mentality… about who you truly are, deep down. Reading, however, should serve as means through which you'll acquire more knowledge and discover more about the world. It may make you dangerous, surely I won't be able to leave my nonsense writings lying about without risk anymore… but I don't think it's fair for you to live out your life without learning how to do it just for my comfort. If Zhao's fine with making you live like that… well, I disagree entirely."

"D-do you think he'll be mad if I… if I learn?" Rei asked, softly. "Should we keep it… quiet?"

"A secret?" Azula said, breathing deeply. "Heh. I don't know. Those can certainly bite you in the ass if you're not careful about hiding them well…"

"We'll hide it well… I think," Rei said, swallowing hard. "Or, well, I will try? I-it's not like I can learn so much so fast, can I…?"

"It might take time, sure… but I guess we'll see how fast it goes over the next few days," Azula said, smiling a little at Rei, who grinned back with innocent, blissful enthusiasm.

"Thank you… f-for taking your time. For… talking to me and… and letting me stay here," Rei said, nodding towards her. Azula's eyes narrowed.

"Huh… come to think of it, I forgot that one," she mused, turning towards the first of her papers again.

Rei watched silently as Azula scribbled another ideogram, perhaps simpler, yet still tricky enough, to her untrained eye… upon finishing the second element of it, a single line that curved to the right and slanted upwards slightly, Azula smiled and set down the pen.

"Another possible meaning for your name," she said. Rei raised her eyebrows. "This one… means 'thank you.'"

Rei's cheeks flushed: suddenly, the mushrooms seemed a very silly practice idea when there was a much more beautiful meaning, still humble and yet honest… a meaning that encompassed her feelings for this strange, unexpected moment she'd shared with Princess Azula. A brighter smile than before spread over her face as she nodded in Azula's direction.

"I… I like this one best. Thank you… hehe, thank you!" she grinned. Despite herself, Azula's smile gained strength as she gestured at Rei's brush.

"Go ahead, then. Practice it as much as you need to," she said, and Rei nodded enthusiastically, no longer hesitating to do as she was told.

Her genuine innocence hid so much more than Azula dared imagine just yet: something told her the young woman beside her had seen strife of sorts she never had endured. Much as Rei hadn't pried and asked questions she shouldn't have, though, neither would Azula. The boundary, invisible as it appeared to be, still stood there, between them… and Azula found she was in no hurry to breach it. At least, not beyond the progress they'd made so far.

Azula stepped back to her dining room, where the empty trays from lunch still waited to be taken away whenever Renkai dropped by. She ignored them, however, picking up a chair instead and carrying it silently to Rei. She had already drawn the symbol twice by the time Azula arrived, setting the chair behind her.

"Try some more," Azula requested, and Rei did as she was told. Azula nodded appreciatively, once Rei was done. "It's easier than the other one, right?"

"Yeah," Rei giggled. Azula smiled.

"You have the right stroke order. Keep it up. And… you can sit here, too," she said, patting the chair behind Rei. The young woman gasped at the sight of it.

"I… I can stand…!"

"You can, but you don't have to," Azula said, simply, before making her way to her bookshelves without another word. Rei blinked a few times, smiling again at the Princess.

"T-thank you…" she said, turning brightly towards the sheet of paper before her… and taking her seat, regardless of her previous, flustered attempt to reject the gesture.

She continued to work on writing her new, chosen form for her name for much longer this time. Her strokes weren't as shaky as they were at the start, and she performed them more quickly each time. Maybe she hadn't needed to read and write to be wise, as the Princess had said… but something inside her heart jolted with pride every time she finished that ideogram on paper.

Azula, in the meantime, scanned her books with a frown, finding no content for a beginner to read. Her childhood books had been removed long ago, in all likelihood… she couldn't remember seeing them in storage anywhere. She did remember, however, an old book Lo and Li had used to show her the meanings of many words through beautiful, artistic depictions of each ideogram's meaning… she closed her eyes, forcing herself as best she could to remember the artist responsible for it. Perhaps she could still track down a copy, if she remembered it…

A knock on the door caused Rei to jump on her seat. Azula glanced at her from over her shoulder, finding the girl appeared struck by panic now. Did she truly expect Zhao would be upset if he found out that she'd been learning to read and write…? The notion seemed more than a bit outrageous to Azula: if he truly found any fault in his own daughter learning how to read, she'd have no problem confronting him about it. It'd be their first argument after the damn wedding… it might even make their relationship feel less stiff and fake, Azula guessed, though it would never feel genuine, regardless of the efforts either one might make… and neither one, as far as she could tell, wanted to make any in the first place.

"Keep going. I'll get the door," Azula said, though Rei seemed uncertain about carrying on for now.

She gazed at Azula warily as the Princess stepped to the door, pulling it open without a second thought… with confidence far more suitable for the woman she had been well over three months ago.

Renkai nearly fell over upon glimpsing her by the door. Rei had opened it for him lately, and he had taken to knocking as a courtesy for the young woman who served the Princess these days. The Princess who, last he'd known, had been bedridden by choice, isolated, unresponsive and depressed.

"Princess…" he uttered, and Azula raised her chin.

"Picking up the trays again?" she asked. "I suppose the kitchen staff won't do their jobs still, will they?"

"I don't mind… I'll be quick," Renkai said, nodding in her direction as he strode inside the room silently.

Rei shrank in place still, self-aware and insecure, no doubt fearing the guard might scold her for sitting on the Princess's chair, writing with the Princess's ink, on the Princess's paper… but Renkai simply trudged on to the dining room, and he scooped up the empty trays that he carried carefully on his way back to the door.

"Renkai…" Azula called him, startling the man just before he could leave the room. "I have a request to make."

"Oh? To me?" he asked, puzzled. Azula sighed.

"Yes, it's just as shocking for me as it is for you," she admitted, guessing Renkai wouldn't appreciate the dramatics, but that might see him taking off faster, and she wouldn't mind if he did that. "I need you to find a book, or rather, several books. Namely, books to study writing with. A few easy ones, at least… maybe a couple of complex ones, if it's not too tricky to find them altogether."

"Books on…?" Renkai repeated: his helmet angled towards the young maid, sitting quietly, nervously, with a brush in her hand… and with a familiar set of papers where the same ideograms had been repeated several times. He had a few recollections of writing many ideograms just like that, back in his younger years… he tensed up immediately before nodding at the Princess. "Any book in particular?"

"There's one I can't quite remember… it was illustrated, is all I know," Azula sighed. "I don't know if there's a copy of that someplace, maybe it's nowhere to be found anymore. But if you do track down any illustrated books, I'd appreciate it."

"Very well," Renkai said, bowing his head down. "I shall do so."

Azula breathed out softly, relieved by his compliance. It still struck her as odd, but this time, she could be grateful for it.

"I'll get you some money, give me a moment…" Azula said, but Renkai jolted upright anew.

"No," he said, firmly. Azula raised an eyebrow, questioningly. "I mean… I'll take care of the purchases. If it's more costly than my monthly commission, then… I'll let you pay me back."

"And if it's not?" Azula asked, looking at him skeptically. "Really, Renkai? Keep this up and we'll end up braiding each other's hair before you know it."

"I… don't know how to braid hair. You'd have to teach me."

She almost laughed at his response. It was a scoff instead, and she shook her head at his unexpected, insolent response.

"Alright. That's… an image," she said, jerking her head towards the door. "Take those trays where you're supposed to, then. And… thank you, I guess."

"You're welcome… I guess," Renkai responded, walking backwards in that same, mechanic rhythm the guards ever used. Azula's eyes sharpened at his clever response, and she continued to glare at the door after he closed it behind himself.

"He… he made a joke?"

Azula turned towards Rei slowly at that question. She appeared to be utterly confused by the notion that any of those guards might possibly have a sense of humor… normally, Azula would reassure her that none of them were half as serious or dangerous as they appeared, but Renkai's weird sense of humor had certainly caught her by surprise ever since she had returned. Either he was a nightmare of a man, trying to earn her goodwill by innocuous jokes to lower her guard… or he was genuine about them, and she wasn't sure, to this day, which option sat worse with her.

"A lot of guards are much less uptight than you'd ever imagine… though I never thought Renkai would be one of them," she said, breathing out slowly as she stepped closer to Rei's workspace. "Those are looking quite good by now. Nicely done."

Rei set aside the matter of Renkai as she smiled brightly, thrilled by the compliments. She returned to her dutiful work, quietly writing her name once more, newly comfortable with wielding the brush carefully. Azula watched over her quietly, offering occasional ideas – such as decreasing the size of the ideogram little by little, as most books had smaller text than what she'd practiced so far. If she ever had the need to write a letter, perhaps, it wouldn't do for Rei to be utterly inexperienced writing smaller ideograms.

The young woman left by dusk, reiterating how grateful she was, and promising she looked forward to coming back on the next day. Odd as it was, Azula still felt slightly invigorated once she'd left… and that feeling returned when Rei did, too, by the next morning. She still cleaned up, as she always did, but this time Azula wasn't in bed, to Rei's surprise: instead, she was writing down important ideograms on different sheets of paper, intending to teach those to Rei today.

The same process continued for the rest of the week: Rei cleaned, then sat down to study. Her ability to write increased gradually, and Azula even took to asking her which words she wanted to learn next – it came as no surprise that her very first request would be. "dragon moose."

Zhao didn't drop by very often – he hadn't before bringing Rei, typically taking off early in the morning and only returning by night. When Azula asked Rei just how often she saw the Admiral, Rei shrugged: she hadn't seen him over four times since he'd brought her to the Palace. Rei assumed he was busy… Azula wondered just how much. Her heart clenched, for she had no true understanding of what her father, and Rei's father, were up to anymore. If there had been war meetings, if there had been grand decrees and outlandish decisions… she was entirely unaware of it. Perhaps, if she chose to go out and meet Mai and Ty Lee, she could ensure the Fire Nation wasn't in any worse trouble these days… but she couldn't do it. Her friends might not have been there, they might not have witnessed the wedding… but she felt no less ashamed because they hadn't seen it. Her heart twisted unto itself just to think of letting anyone of her past see her as broken, as lost as she was right now…

So she didn't do that. Instead, she taught Rei how to write and, in the process, how to read. Renkai hadn't delivered the books yet, despite still bringing their every meal, but Azula made do as best she could in her lessons to the young woman, and it seemed to her that Rei made quite a bit of progress in a single week. She couldn't read full sentences yet, but she recognized many important ideograms by now: Azula counted that as a victory.

But it wasn't the only victory she'd claim that week. An important date approached, slowly and surely, filling her heart with a drumming, tense anticipation. She had done everything for this moment… she had endured everything, just for this. So when she laid down that night, crouched unto herself, feeling Zhao's unwanted presence behind her – their backs towards each other, for fortunately, the man hadn't crossed any boundaries again since the wedding –, Azula had lain awake, knowing the time was right… knowing the rules of this game would change on the next morning, whether her father liked it or not.

Rei almost skipped happily on her way to the Princess's room. To think she had been intimidated once before… but the Princess was nothing like Rei had feared she might be. She might even be the first friend she'd ever made – and imagine that, she had a friend! Of course, her dragon moose still counted, but this was new territory for her. Her anxiety constantly reminded her not to take things too far, to give the Princess space, to never breach any limits that Azula would find unacceptable… though so far, she found a lot of surprising things acceptable. How odd that the royal had less punishing standards than Rei's mother did…

She was surprised, though, to find that the guard who frequently brought them their meals stood by the door today… carrying a large package covered in brown paper, from the looks of it. He didn't seem all that tense for a moment, no matter how much armor he wore. He released a deep breath, slouching on himself for a moment before rising to his full height and making to knock on the door… though he stopped suddenly, turning towards where Rei had been walking, perhaps far more noisily than she realized.

"O-oh… sorry," Rei said, reflexively: darn it, the Princess told her not to apologize for no reason… but maybe there was a reason, this time. Had she disturbed the guard?

"Ah. It's you," Renkai said, simply, before showing the package to her. "I thought you and the Princess were displeased by my lateness in bringing these? But I suppose she's… indisposed?"

"You've knocked and she hasn't answered?" asked Rei, blinking blankly. "Huh… w-well, she didn't use to answer before. I guess, maybe… maybe she's feeling sickly. Or she's still asleep?"

"Maybe," Renkai said, shrugging. "Should we go in, then?"

"I… I don't think she'll mind," Rei said, biting her lip as she reached the door. "You brought the books she asked for, so… it might cheer her up to see you."

"Doubtful…" Renkai said, waiting for the young woman to turn the doorknob.

The room, however, was empty. Renkai frowned immediately, stepping towards the cabinets and setting down the package of books there. Rei bit her lip as she glanced at the dining room, but the Princess wasn't having breakfast. She wasn't in bed, either… but the door to the bathroom was ajar, she noticed.

"Oh. She's probably in the bathroom, then," Rei told Renkai, with a shy smile. "I'm sure she'll thank you once you come back at lunchtime. If you have other duties…"

"I should take my leave, then," Renkai nodded, turning towards the door…

The sudden, guttural sound that drifted from the bathroom caused him to freeze on his footsteps. Rei's placid smile dwindled immediately, too.

It was followed by something dripping… a gross, liquid sound that Rei was all too familiar with. She winced before rushing towards the bathroom, nervously, and to her surprise, Renkai stood beside her once she stopped by the door.

"P-Princess…?" Rei called softly.

The answer she received was yet another round of retching.

Renkai grimaced before pushing the door open fully, knowing he might risk the Princess's wrath for his insolence, but also knowing he couldn't ignore this situation, uncomfortable as it might be.

The spacious bathroom looked larger yet that day, when the Princess lay crouched by the privy, pale and sickly, wearing her crumpled sleeping robe. Her hair was in disarray, and her hands trembled as she clung to the edge of the privy, her whole body wracked with unwanted, uncontrollable shivering.

"Princess…!" Rei gasped, hands on her mouth as Azula raised her gaze, with difficulty, towards them.

"P-please…" she spoke, her voice rougher than it had been in weeks. "S-send for… for the physicians. Please…"

Renkai didn't need to be asked twice: he knew exactly where to go, whereas Rei didn't. The young woman stood in place, watching Azula in utmost helplessness, her excitement about learning to write new words quickly fading into nothingness.

"I can… I-I can help, if you need me to do… w-whatever you need, I…" Rei offered, anxiously, but Azula shook her head.

"Don't… don't worry, Rei. I'll be… I should be fine. Everything's… going to be fine."

Her words carried far more conviction with them than Rei could detect. Morning sickness had plagued her every day, although she had done her best to accustom her body to releasing all such toxicity and flushing it away, cleaning up as best as possible before Rei could see any signs of it. Finally, she could stop hiding it… finally, the damn plan could be enacted. Zhao would be kept at bay for the next seven months, at least… her father would have no right, no reason, to think she wasn't abiding by his demands and doing exactly what he wanted from her.

Seven months. If all went well, if the Head Sage did as he had sworn he would… she'd have seven months of tranquility. Seven months to regain her center, to plan forward, to set Xin Long free… and to see to the safety of the child who, starting today, would become a reality for many more people besides herself. She still didn't quite know what she'd do, going forward… but at last, she was in control again. At last, she made a move that didn't devastate her. At last, Fire Lord Ozai would be the one forced to back down, even if not quite surrender: for now, that would amount to a considerable victory for the fallen Princess Azula.