Hey guys! Here I am again with a new chapter. So sorry for the delay, I had a business trip. Which was really fun after months of home office. Anyway, in this chapter Peter is sharing his thoughts with us. His really, really chaotic thoughts. So this chapter will be mostly rambling, which is one of Peter's talents, right?
By the way, some of you pointed out that he removed the tracker in his suit pretty fast. He will also share his reasons, okay?
I hope you'll love the chapter. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: no, I don't own Marvel. I wish.
It's the middle of the night and Peter is sitting on his mattress in the warehouse, his left arm stretched out, as he's trying to stitch a cut that he has just got during his latest patrol. He's nearly done but he's far from satisfied: the ugly zigzag is a clear proof that no matter how many times he has done it, he'll never be able to improve his stitching skills. Thanks to his healing ability, though, his wounds never scar. If they did, they would look horrible.
And this cut? It doesn't even hurt anymore. It's not that bad. Really. But worse is the suit probably has a cut, too. What should he do? Sew it? Can he do that? The fabric seems way too thick to pierce it through with his small needle.
Should he pay a visit to Mr. Stark then? He said Peter could come to the Tower if the suit needed to be fixed. But wouldn't Mr. Stark be disappointed that Peter damaged it only after like six days? Wouldn't Mr. Stark be mad that Peter ruined the suit that he had worked so hard on? Okay, it's not exactly ruined; it's not such a big cut but still.
And the suit is so awesome! No criminal mocks him anymore; they seem much more scared when Spiderman arrives to stop them. Peter doesn't know if he seems more intimidating because of the cool suit or because he feels much more confident wearing it. Probably both. Not that he had any problem with his old suit. He always knew it wasn't nearly as cool as the suit of any Avenger, but he thought it didn't really matter what he was wearing. The only thing that mattered was what he did as Spiderman: fighting crime, helping people. It wasn't important what he was wearing while he was doing that. His old suit had basically one job to do: to hide Peter's identity and it was capable of that.
But his new suit? Man, it's so cool! It looks amazing! And Mr. Stark has been right: it gives him better protection; Peter has far less injuries now. Just like Mr. Stark said: it's tough but flexible. Sometimes Peter swings around in the city in his new suit just for fun.
Anyway. The cut. He sighs and continues working on his wound. His thoughts keep taking him back to the Tower, though. He thinks about Mr. Stark's offer. Bed and food. He thinks about it all the time. He often decides to take it, just one night, just one dinner. And then he always changes his mind. Sometimes even at the very last moment.
Like two days ago. He was so hungry. Practically starving. And it had been raining for three days nonstop. Okay, the warehouse he stays in has a roof, but that roof has a lot of holes. Like plenty. And it was so cold…
So he came to a decision. He would drop in the Tower, he would accept Mr. Stark's offer and have a warm meal. Just this one time. A soup would have been really nice.
So he swung over to Manhattan; he could already see the bright lights of the Tower. Just a few more blocks.
But then… he stopped. He can't go there! What was he thinking? Mr. Stark is a very busy man. A superhero and a successful businessman. He attends meetings all day and works in his lab or saves the world all night. He has no time for Peter. Mr. Stark was very nice to him, yes, he helped him a lot but that offer? That offer was just a courtesy of a polite man. That was a good-mannered gesture. Nothing more. Like when people ask how you are but they don't really want to know, it's just a figure of speech. And he shouldn't think more of Mr. Stark's proposition.
Plus, he doesn't need help. Peter is a superhero on his own right. And superheroes don't go begging for food or a place to crash. Yes, he might have some problems right now but he manages. He's okay. He just needs to put a brave face on and tough out. He has done that so far. Why should he give up now? Winter is over, it's not even that cold anymore and who knows? Maybe by next winter he'll have a place to stay. He'll figure it out somehow.
Still. It would be nice to visit Mr. Stark. Maybe just for a talk. Because he's the only one who might understand Peter. No, he wouldn't. But at least, he understands Spiderman. Their conversations about superhero stuff were so awesome. The best that happened to him lately. He could forget about the miserable life of Peter Parker, he could forget about the lonely orphan kid and pretended that only the cool, strong Spiderman existed. Mr. Stark is the only one who knows about his alter ego, the only one Peter could talk to about that stuff. And it felt so liberating to discuss Spidey things.
And Spiderman has always trusted Mr. Stark. His spider sense never warned him whenever the man showed up. Not in the Tower when he first woke up and didn't know where he was and not in the street, when they met after school a few days ago. And that sense of his has always been right; it has always told him who he could trust.
So yeah. It would be good to talk. Even better than sleeping in a real bed or getting enough to eat.
But talking has never been on the table, right? Just accommodation, meal and repairs of the suit. Mr. Stark might not even be in the Tower if Peter dropped in. He must be on a business trip all the time.
Why would Mr. Stark care about him anyway? Why would he care about the miserable kid under the mask? No one does.
The boy can still remember the utter shock on the man's face when he figured out Peter was homeless.
He winces. The word still feels so weird. Odd. He knows it fits. He just can't get used to it. And he has a home, right? It might be an old, abandoned warehouse, way worse than his previous home was, he can't even compare the two but for now? This is his home.
He just feels so ashamed. He feels ashamed about what his life has become. He knows, yes, he does know it's not his fault. It's not his fault that Aunt May died, it's not his fault that he has no other living relative left and it's not his fault that he's still a kid who couldn't stay by himself in their apartment. None of this is his fault. He can't help feeling ashamed, though.
And yeah, maybe Mr. Stark doesn't care about Peter, but if he did? The boy wouldn't go to the Tower anyway. Because the man would look at him with pity in his eyes like all the adults do. And they don't even know the half of it. They feel sorry for Peter because he lost his aunt. They don't know how much more he lost. They don't know that he has no home or family anymore. Only Mr. Stark knows. If Peter went to the Tower, the man would surely take pity on him. And Peter doesn't need pity.
Anyway. Cut. Stitches. It's too dark and the needle is so small. He really doesn't want to stab himself more times than necessary. He might as well use the new mask. It might have some kind of function that could help. Because the suit has tons of functions. Peter believes he still hasn't found most of them since he first hacked it.
Unlike the tracker. When he first hacked the suit out of simple curiosity (it's so awesome, he just wanted to know everything about it), he was very surprised when he found a tracker. Why did Mr. Stark put a tracker into his suit? Did he want to keep track of Peter? Why was it important to him to know where Peter was? Or was it there only for emergencies? Anyway, he quickly decided to disable it. Before Mr. Stark could have found him here. Yeah, that would have been just nice. Mr. Stark appearing in this warehouse. He would have called CPS right away.
Actually, it's kinda surprising that he hasn't called them yet. At least, that's what Peter had thought until he figured out the reason. If Mr. Stark believes Peter can make it even under these sad circumstances, he definitely will.
Going back to the cut again. Right. The mask. Plenty of functions. Mr. Stark doesn't do anything halfway, right?
Peter has connected the suit to the battered computer that he built from parts from his old room and stuff he found in dumpsters. It's perfectly fine to go through all the settings and protocols of the suit. It still amazes Peter how much time and effort Mr. Stark put into it. Into the suit for him. The boy can't understand why Mr. Stark did it. And he didn't ask Peter for anything in exchange. Probably he will. Mr. Stark must have some kind of ulterior motive, right? He seems really nice; he has been always very kind to Peter but the suit? It's too much for a gift.
Of course Peter is very grateful. The suit is awesome. Has made his life so much easier. And not just the crime fighting part. When he discovered the heater in the suit... Gosh, one of the best days of his life.
Peter puts on the mask and tries to find a way to make the rest of the stitching easier. Maybe some more light? Still stunned, he goes through the many functions, aimlessly trying out settings he has absolutely no idea about, when suddenly a female voice breaks into his thoughts.
"Hello, Peter. How may I help you?"
When Peter thought there was no cooler thing in the world than his new suit, he was wrong. So wrong! Because obviously, there's no cooler thing in the world than his new suit with his personal AI in it!
His life has dramatically changed since he accidentally discovered Karen. Yes, the suit Mr. Stark gave him made his patrolling way more effective, but Karen has brought it to a whole new level. She has helped him find his way around the many settings of the suit (even though they still have some arguments about choosing the most suitable ones) and she's provided him tons of information to stop criminals. Like camera feeds, police reports, access to practically every known database in the world. She's like an awesome sidekick who can always help out Spiderman.
And sometimes she can also help Peter. Like when she helps him with his homework. (That's not cheating, right?) But she helps the most when she's the only one Peter can talk to.
He knows it's pathetic. Karen is not a real person, she's just an AI; she hadn't even had a name until Peter gave her one. And Karen cares about him only because it's her job. That's how Mr. Stark programmed her. She's not real.
Yet sometimes she sounds very real with all the hovering. Like a parent.
"Peter, may I suggest going to sleep now? You have to get up early for school tomorrow," Karen says while Peter's sitting in a broken window of the warehouse after patrolling.
He's staring at the black sky numbly. He needs some time until the adrenaline from patrol runs off. He had a busy night with stopping muggers and drug dealers. And two of those dealers were lurking around Peter's school, so he was extra mad at them. What if they approached some kids from school?
"I know, Karen, thanks," he sighs. "I just don't think I could fall asleep now."
"And why is that, Peter, if I may ask?" the AI probes.
The boy smiles. Whenever he uses one of the amazing features of the suit, he always thinks of Mr. Stark fondly. And he does the same whenever his AI is this nice to him. Because Mr. Stark has made Karen not just functional and efficient but kind, too. Yeah, he still remembers she's not a real person. But she's very kind for someone who is not real.
"You know, Karen, today is Aunt May's birthday," Peter explains sadly.
Yeah, that's the real reason why he can't sleep just yet. Not the adrenaline rush. But he has tried his best all day not to think of it. Not to think how they would celebrate if May was still here. Just the two of them. They would go out for Thai. And that waiter who had a crush on May would bring her a dessert on the house. And then they would go home and watch a movie or two. It would be a really nice evening. Just May and him.
Instead here he is, sitting in a creepy old warehouse always hungry and exhausted and what's even worse, always on the verge of tears. He's getting tired of this. Of how shitty his life is. He honestly doesn't know what he would do if he didn't have Spiderman as an occasional getaway from this misery.
And all because someone was careless and stupid and hit May. They made a mistake that cost a life. And they got away with it. They just drove off never looking back. Never trying to help. Never seeing what damage they caused. That they actually killed someone. They took away a kid's only family. Made him an orphan. Ruined his life forever. Here is Peter alone, cold, hungry and devastated, while they can go on with their happy lives forgetting what harm they did. Took a life and ruined another one.
Peter's sadness turns into anger. He lets out a frustrated cry and punches the window. The glass instantly shatters and plenty of tiny shards scatter the ground, glistening in the moonlight. The sharp edges around the new hole in the window are stained red. Stunned, Peter stares at the ruby-colored glass and then glances down at his hand. Connecting the dots takes longer than usual. Weird.
"Peter, the cuts on your hand require medical attention. They should be examined if there are glass shards in them and then properly dressed," Karen informs him.
The boy sighs. He gets up and unenthusiastically grabs his medical kit from beside the mattress. He sits down, pulls out some bandage and haphazardly dresses the cuts.
"Peter, that's not good enough," his AI complains. "May I suggest calling Mr. Stark for help-"
"And may I suggest searching for the police report on May's death?" Peter all but snaps.
Gosh, it's so frustrating that Karen keeps offering to call Mr. Stark, whenever some kind of problem arises! As if he couldn't handle some little cuts by himself. This is obviously Mr. Stark's doing, he programmed the AI like this. But Peter doesn't need help!
"As you wish, Peter," Karen replies willingly, though.
The boy flops down on the mattress, glancing up at the dirty ceiling, at the abstract pattern of wet spots. He hits his forehead with his fists. "I'm sorry, Karen. So sorry. I didn't mean to yell at you. It was rude," he mutters.
"It's okay, Peter. I have found the police report for you."
Does this count as a cliffhanger?
I hope now you can see how confused poor Peter is. How his genuine optimism and pure heart are fighting with his negative, depressive thoughts and all the bad things that happened to him.
And yeah. Next, we're going to look into May's death. We're staying with Peter for now to see what he's going to do next. Will he meet Mr. Stark again? I would love to hear your theories! And I would love to know if this story is going into a direction you expected. I hope not, I would love to surprise you :)
So yes, this is me begging for reviews. Please. I love reading them, so so much.
Thank you for reading!