Chapter 17 - The Art of Winning Hearts

It was a sunny day, typical of late spring in Academy City. Kamijou Touma savored the pleasant weather at a table outside a restaurant. Occasionally, he glanced across the street, letting out a sigh. His attention was divided because something significant was unfolding at another table in a different restaurant.

"She's all stiff over there," he muttered, taking a sip of his pure black coffee. "Things are going to get interesting soon."

It turned out that there were two people at the other table whom he was watching cautiously. One had long blonde hair and was undoubtedly the most beautiful girl he had ever met. The other had brown hair and an air of elegance. His mother. However, in the eyes of his girlfriend, she appeared more like a monster draped in sophisticated women's clothing, judging by the discomfort evident in her subtle squirms when subjected to an intense gaze.

"By the way," said Touma after a long sigh. "Don't you have anything better to do than spy on my girlfriend?"

"Huh?"

The response came from a girl, or rather, several girls. There they were, varying in sizes, hair colors, and levels of beauty. Not all of them were in plain sight; some were covertly positioned, as if on a secret mission.

"Kind of hypocritical of you," retorted Mitori, seated at the same table as Touma, nervously adjusting the black suit she wore. "After all, you did arrive before us."

"You sound rather angry, Mii-chan." Touma glared at her while smiling derisively. "Don't tell me Misaki didn't actually call you here, and you came on your own?"

"Wasn't that obvious? How could I miss that, hehe."

"Hey, you two," Kobayashi interjected, leaning over from the adjacent table on the left. "They're moving."

x-2-x

"But already?" Misaki asked hesitantly, observing the woman pick up her bag and rise from her seat. "It's a beautiful day. Wouldn't it be better if we made the most of it?"

"I don't have much time here in the city, Shokuhou-san," Shiina said, checking something in her bag. "That's why I want to explore as much as I can and then spend some time with my son. I'm counting on you to show me points of interest."

"Eh? Of course, of course. Count me in. I've got plenty of guiding ability."

A feeble, unconvincing laugh escaped Misaki's lips, and she almost choked in that moment.

'Points of interest? Does she already have something in mind or does she expect me to suggest it? If the latter, where should I take her? She looks like a high-class maiden, so a tea house would suit her.'

Today was the day Shokuhou Misaki employed her Level 5 brain to its maximum capacity. Merely impressing wouldn't cut it; she had to stir up trouble, shake things up, rebuild, and then dismantle it once more. If she failed to secure her boyfriend's mother's approval after yesterday's blunder, she wouldn't be able to face him with the same confidence as she did before.

She sighed.

'Something tells me that being nervous like this is exactly what he wants. Well, I started it, so now I have to endure his revenge. I wonder if he's around.'

There was a teahouse in District 7 that Misaki really enjoyed. She used to visit to escape the summer heat, and in the past, before they started dating, she had brought her boyfriend here. Nostalgia washed over her as soon as she walked in. It was even the same attendant from those summer days.

"Oh, this looks like an expensive place," Shiina remarked, putting her bag aside and settling into a lavish wooden table. "Tell me, Shokuhou-san, are you the kind of girl who can't live without luxury?"

"Um... ehm..."

'What do I say? Misaki began to freak out inside, looking away and shifting uncomfortably in her chair. 'It's not like I can't live without luxury but... I really am always consuming expensive things. But she understands, doesn't she? Wait, is she really a high-class maiden?

"Not exactly," said Misaki, gathering her thoughts. "While I've grown accustomed to having everything, I don't consider a simple life to be a bad thing."

Misaki prided herself on being adept at reading people, even without her powers, but what on earth was that enigmatic expression on the woman's face?

'Did she like the answer? No, it was too simple. I should have provided more details. I can still salvage it.'

"Excuse me," said a waitress, promptly delivering their drinks.

"Thank you," Misaki replied with an unnatural smile. Seriously, what was this pressure she was feeling? She took a sip of her tea without adding sugar, attempting to shake off the tension. "So, as I was saying—"

"What are your plans for the future, Shokuhou-san?"

'Another question? I didn't even have time to elaborate on the first one. Breathe, Shokuhou, breathe.'

"Future plans? Are you asking about my career aspirations ability? I have a variety of talents, so I might end up pursuing multiple professions."

"So you're the 'workaholic' type?" Shiina fiddled with something in her bag, briefly hiding her expression. "Well, apparently things will be reversed in this generation then."

Misaki had no idea what it meant, but she hoped with all her might that it was something positive. Perhaps this was the opportune moment to impress this woman.

"I wouldn't label myself as a 'workaholic,'" Misaki started, gracefully brushing a lock of hair from her face and adding a touch of elegance as she poured milk into her bitter tea. "As I mentioned, I possess a range of talents. I attend Tokiwadai Middle School, and my education ability is already at a college level. With proficiency in multiple languages, securing employment in any country wouldn't pose a challenge."

"Oh, interesting. What else have you got?"

'Yes! I have her attention. Of course I do. I don't even know why I was nervous, what mother wouldn't want me as her daughter-in-law? Look at me and all my queenly ability.'

"I also have some hobbies. I'm a decent dancer, and I frequently engage in community work, among other things."

"Hmm... to be honest, that's quite an impressive list." When the woman looked at her contentedly and smiled, Shokuhou felt a wave of relief. "You nearly meet the criteria for the perfect match for my son."

"Eh?"

'Nearly? She said nearly? Is she joking? The talent for making me feel like this must run in the family.'

It took about five seconds for the girl to come to terms with the straightforward comment that had caught her off guard. She tried to mask her insecurity with a smile while adding an excessive amount of sugar to her tea. If she kept up like this, she'd have diabetes by the end of the day.

"I see, you're one of those mothers who makes a mental list of the perfect girl for your son," said Misaki, attempting a joke. She shook her head and continued in a pleasant tone, "Something very cute, by the way. I think I might be like that in the future."

"Ara, Ara. At least we have that in common. But it's not a mental list, I actually took the trouble to write it all down."

'At least we have that in common. Why does everything she says sound like a caveat? Damn, I guess I'm thinking too much... wait, what do you mean she wrote it all down?

"Do you have a list? Like... a physical list?" Misaki sounded astonished.

"Of course. I never leave home without it. Would you like to take a look?"

"Why not?"

Things were kind of getting out of hand, so the girl was just going with the flow at this point. But no matter what the list of things was, she had every confidence that she would get an excellent score. After all, it shouldn't be that much.

"Here it is," said Shiina. She had a rolled-up sheet of paper in her hand.

A gentle gesture later, the sheet unfolded. It looked just like those old contracts, or even like a piece of parchment. 'Piece' wasn't the right word really, not when the giant thing unfurled across the table, fell on the side Misaki was standing on, and continued rolling across her lap, and then across the floor for a few meters.

Misaki shivered in her seat.

"Um..." The queen touched the list with her trembling hands and put a nervous smile on her face. "What?"

x-3-x

"Hehehe."

A certain spiky-haired boy was thoroughly enjoying the scene displayed on a tablet. It turned out that Mitori possessed impressive spying skills, using a camera on one of her dolls to observe everything happening in that teahouse.

"Look at her face, Mii-chan, that's the best part," Touma remarked, lightly elbowing the girl holding the tablet.

"Yes, yes. Misaki-chan is dealing with forces beyond her comprehension, hahaha."

"Why are you two smiling like villains from a Saturday-morning cartoon?" complained Kobayashi, shaking her head in disappointment. "And since when are you two best friends?"

"Hey, Kamijou-sama, sorry I'm late," Hokaze's young voice sounded from the side, causing Kobayashi to turn to her. "Did I miss something important?"

"Huh? Hokaze-san, what are you wearing?"

In Hokaze's hands were two pom-poms, the same color as her hair. Not only that, but the girl was dressed like a classic cheerleader, complete with a too-short miniskirt that didn't suit her. What had happened to the world?

"Hey, Hokaze-chan, you're just in time!" said Touma, standing up and showing her the tablet. "The queen needs your support, show Kobayashi what we've taught you."

"Sure, Kamijou-sama, here goes." Hokaze took a deep breath and began waving her pom-poms while performing a lively dance, shaking her legs. "Give me an S, give me an L, give me an A, give me a Y. Slaaaaay queeeeeen!"

All the girls in the group exchanged glances, their mouths forming perfect triangles. Kobayashi couldn't stand it and slapped her own forehead, then turned her gaze towards the two seemingly responsible for this embarrassing scene.

"Kamijou-san, Mitori-san... what the hell?"

"Don't react like that, Kobayashi," Mitori chided, wagging her index finger disapprovingly. "Hokaze-chan is just offering her unconditional support to her queen. Go on, show her the dance I showed you in that manga, Hokaze-chan."

"Sure, Mitori-san, here goes—"

"Show me later," Kobayashi held her hand out, handing over a banknote. "Here, pay our bill; we're leaving."

"Are we?" complained the other girls in the group simultaneously, but they shrank away from Kobayashi's cold stare.

As Hokaze entered the establishment, which made Kobayashi sigh with relief that she didn't make any complaints, she glanced at Mitori and Kamijou who were whispering to each other.

"What do you two think you're doing?"

"Us? Just having fun, of course," replied Mitori.

"We're showing Junko-chan some nonsensical comedy manga scenes and telling her that this is actually how it is," added Kamijou, then giggling a little. "We told her that this was the best thing to do to support Misaki, and she believed us, hehe."

"Amusing, isn't it?" Mitori turned to Kamijou. "Next time we should show some scenes from an indecent manga. I bet we could convince her that this is how romance works in real life."

"Mii-chan," said Kamijou, his expression completely blank. His hands even shook slightly. "My God... you're a genius. How did I not think of that? Give me a five!"

"Yay!"

Kobayashi slapped herself on the forehead once again when she saw the two of them exchanging wild ideas while laughing. They had even forgotten that they were also spying on their queen.

"Why do I always have to deal with eccentrics?"

x-4-x

Meanwhile, Misaki's chin was on the floor. Metaphorically, of course. That wasn't a list, it was a death sentence. Everyone there could see her sitting calmly, but in reality she was dead on the floor.

At least part of her.

"Is something wrong, Shokuhou-san?" asked Shiina. Her eyes had a strange glow, red like blood. Not really, it was just Misaki imagining things.

"Eh? No, nothing."

'What the hell is this list?!' She freaked out. Internally, of course, a high-class maiden never loses her composure. 'There's something here that fits me, of course.' Misaki turned her attention to the handwritten list in beautiful calligraphy. 'Beautiful, nice, elegant, intelligent, speak at least 7 languages fluently, good at dancing, statuesque body... hips ready for childbearing?! Depending on the angle, I guess. But what's the rest? The athleticism of at least national champion level? Good at swimming and skydiving? An expert in martial arts and firearms? What about all that weird stuff? Nobody reads the Kama Sutra these days, and why would I be an expert in sensual massages? And this thing isn't even a third of it... I'm afraid to read the rest. Does this woman want a damn unicorn for a daughter-in-law?!'

"Don't worry, Shokuhou-san," said the monster woman in front of her. It wasn't her imagination, there was something glowing red there, she could have sworn it was. That woman was out for blood. "If you're not suitable, you can always improve over time until you fit all the parameters."

'Of course, if I were a vampire with eternity ahead of me.'

As she thought this, she had the purest smile anyone could put on their face. It wasn't even crooked, no, it was just the imagination of anyone who looked. The queen had perfect composure.

"Could you give me a minute?" asked Misaki, still with a smile as natural as a diet Coke. "It's hot in here, I need some fresh air."

"No problem, I'll wait here until you get yourself together."

Still with all the naturalness of a penguin surfing in the desert, she walked to the entrance of the store, pushed open the door, stared at the horizon and then almost burst into tears as she disturbed the flow of people on the sidewalk.

"I think this is a good time to stop being an atheist." She put her hands together in prayer. "Lord in heaven, I've been a good girl for the last few years, so—"

"I wouldn't say years. Months at most."

"Yes, I know but... wait a minute." She turned in the direction of the voice that had interrupted her, which wasn't God by the way. "Touma? What are you doing here?"

'No, wait. This is perfect! As always, he's here to save me!'

"Touma-chaaaan!" Misaki threw herself into the boy's arms and sank her head into his chest. "Please get me out of here. I beg you."

"Huh? What's the matter Misaki? " He stroked the top of her head, something she greatly appreciated in this moment of life and death. "You should be spending quality time with my mother—"

"I refuse to spend another minute with that monster. Taking on my dorm manager with just my bare hands and winning seems like a less intimidating task compared to appeasing that... entity. Please... please!" She drew back slightly, creating a cute pout, and gazed at him with her watery, starry eyes. "I'll do anything you want, anything at all."

"Anything, hmm?"

"Literally whatever you want. Just don't leave me alone with that cosmic abomination from a higher plane. That woman is beyond human comprehension. Have you seen that 'list' she carries around? It's like a demon collecting souls with a contract. There's no way in hell I'm going to fit in with half of it, but somehow she'll guarantee it, I'm sure." Misaki suddenly stopped talking when she noticed his eyes quickly change direction. "Wait... no... no... please don't tell me she's right behind me."

"She's not right behind you."

"Oh, thank God."

"Shokuhou-san, what's taking so long?"

She was, in fact, right behind her.

Misaki put on another of her smiles as natural as an esper's powers and turned to see the elegant woman standing there with the most relaxed face and posture in the world. That woman took such pleasure in watching her suffer, but the way she treated everything so naturally was frightening. If it hadn't been for that strange glint in her eye, some would have thought she was human.

"It's all his fault ability," Misaki decided to put her smile aside and hide behind Touma like a frightened child.

"Um... Misaki, deflecting the blame for me like that is—"

The boy was instantly silenced by a sharp blow to his ear, a gentle breath from Misaki that sent a shiver through every strand of his hair. Misaki had a knack for playing dirty in moments like these. What a troublesome girl.

"Listen to me, Touma," she whispered in the sweetest voice she could manage. "Help me out here and I'll show you my sexy dorm manager outfit that I bought for a special occasion."

"Tempting, but no."

What? How could that boy resist such an offer? And right after she hit him with the famous sudden blow technique?

'Trying to be tough just now? Come on, Touma-chan, I know all your weaknesses.'

"Then I'll let you choose what I wear for a week. Anything embarrassing included."

"The answer is still no."

"I have a maid's outfit with cat ears."

"No."

"And I can act like I'm a cat for as long as I wear the clothes. Wouldn't that be purr-fect?"

It did make him think, but the girl's time was up.

"What are you two whispering about?" asked Shiina. "Are you so comfortable that you don't even mind flirting in public?"

"What do I have to do to convince you? Name your price," Misaki continued whispering desperately. A cold sweat was forming on her neck.

"Nothing. Now go on and entertain me. "

"Tou—"

She stopped talking abruptly when she saw the devilish grin on Touma's face. Entertain him? Misaki imagined he was enjoying watching her squirm, but why was he talking as if...

'Was he spying on me? Wait... there's something else here. This is his revenge, isn't it? Could it be...'

"Shiina-san, I'm ready to go back." Misaki moved away from Touma and began to alternate her gaze between the two of them. "I want to take another look at that list. Come with us Touma, since you want me to entertain you."

"That's fine with me."

The three of them returned to the tea store, and as the two settled into their chairs, Misaki swiftly removed her glove. With a delicate touch, she pressed her fingertips against the demon list and then aimed the remote control at her own head.

The truth unfolded before her eyes.

And she almost boiled over.

"You... You..." Misaki was almost blowing smoke out of her mouth as she looked at Touma, but she managed to keep her composure. "You tricked me!"

"Hahahahahaha! Did you finally realize?"

Touma's laughter was contagious, as his mother also started laughing in her own elegant way, covering her mouth with the back of her hand like a true Ojou.

"This was written just today," said Misaki, checking the memories contained there. "And you were there when it was written."

"Exactly. But using your powers is cheating. I bet you wouldn't be able to deduce that I was the villain behind all this on your own. Hehehe... my genius scares me sometimes... hehehe."

According to the memories, Touma actually asked his mother to handwrite that list of absurd things he was thinking at the moment. All this while shaking his head with his hands together and a smile on the corner of his lip like a villain in a spy movie. He'd set the whole thing up as revenge.

And worst of all.

"Shiina-san, I can't tell if this is even more evil or not on your part," said Misaki tiredly, taking a seat at the table next to them and putting down the list. "Did you really agree to something like that? And you still put on an Oscar-worthy performance. The entire Kamijou family are masters of the art of embarrassing someone?"

"Ara, Ara, Shokuhou-san. What kind of mother would I be if I didn't support this kind of healthy play between my son and my future daughter-in-law?"

"Future daughter-in-law?" Misaki's eyes lit up. "Does that mean Shiina-san approves of our relationship?"

"How could not, Shokuhou-san." The woman elegantly took a sip of tea and then held the girl's hand gently. "To be honest, you're amazing. I don't think there's a single mother in the world who wouldn't be happy to have you as a member of the family."

'Am I amazing? I mean, of course I am. That's it! I've got the family's approval now, there's nothing else standing in my way. Way to go, Shokuhou Misaki!

"Touma-san, could you leave us alone? There's still something I want to ask Shokuhou-san."

The marathon of patting herself on the back was interrupted by that unusual request. What was that? Did the final boss have a secret second phase?

x-5-x

It had been a fun day in Kamijou Touma's new life. Of course, only someone with at least a little tendency to be sadistic would find all this amusing.

"What did you two talk about there?" asked Touma. He and Misaki were now walking through the city streets hand in hand, heading towards the sleek black car the girl had called.

"Nothing much." She shrugged, her expression neutral, giving nothing away. "Just some girly stuff."

"Hmm..." In the end, Touma decided it was best to put all those questions to rest. He opened the car door for the girl. "My mother is leaving tomorrow. I plan to spend the day with her, so I guess I'll see you the day after tomorrow."

"Or we could spend the rest of the day together today." She tugged on his arm to get him into the car with her. "I'm full of stress after everything. Let's go for a drive."

Touma still had to cook for his two freeloaders and the calico cat, which made the offer rather tempting. He also had something else in mind.

"Hey," he said, his tone a little nervous. "Do you have the night off the day after tomorrow?"

"Not really, but I'd be happy to do something else, depending on what you have in mind, of course."

"How about a dinner date? I'll cook."

"Oooh... interesting." She smiled as she sat down on the car seat, patting her side to get him to accept the offer. "But I don't know if it's enough interesting ability to cancel my appointment. You'll have to work hard to convince me."

The way she moistened her lips sometimes drove him crazy. It was a good thing she refused to read his mind, because if she found out that if she asked for anything before or after that seductive gesture, it was basically an automatic yes coming her way.

"Okay, you win," he said, sitting down next to her and closing the door. "Where are we going?"

"Nowhere... I have you exactly where I want you."

Then she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him to her. Closing his eyes, he waited for that soft sensation on his lips, but nothing came. But another, much more intense sensation came soon after.

"Ouch!"

His ear was throbbing now, while the girl looked at him with a devilish grin on her face.

"Misaki, did you... bite me?"

"Remember the punishment ability I promised you?" She leaned towards him to whisper in his ear. "That's just the beginning. I hope you enjoy the rest of the trip, because I certainly will."

Her evil laugh should have intimidated him, but Kamijou Touma knew how to deal with adversity. Instead of trying to back down, he simply looked at her seriously and put on an expression that meant something very simple.

"Bring it on," he said, accepting his 'punishment' like a man.

"I'm game now." Instead of punishing him, she actually slid her gloved hand down the boy's chest and brought her mouth within millimeters of his. "I think I have to cancel that appointment; so much determination ability has to be rewarded. I wonder what you're up to with that date. Can I expect anything interesting?"

"Have I ever let you down?"

"Confident. I like that." She brushed her lips lightly against his.

The two of them couldn't wait to see each other again, even though they hadn't even parted yet. There was a bit of pressure now on the boy's shoulders, but he certainly wasn't going to let her down.

So, my dear readers, how are you doing? It's been a while, but here's another chapter.

Misaki did very well impressing her future mother-in-law, don't you think? She didn't even know she had this one in the bag before she even started. But of course, our protagonist wasn't going to let the opportunity to make her squirm as revenge pass him by. And we also had our queen giving the king a love bite, just like she did in GT2, she's probably been waiting a long time for this moment.

Shiina is a classy lady, but she is certainly always ready to support her son in his mischief. But what kind of conversation did she have with Misaki alone at the end?

Let me check your reviews:

Aezrock: Thank you very much for the detailed review. It's really nice to know that you like the way I tell the story. From time to time I still mess up writing in English, so it's always nice to hear that the writing is interesting enough to stand out despite the mistakes I sometimes make and don't even realize. Regarding the balance between moments of drama and fluff, lately I've been tending more towards the latter, I think people have been preferring it that way. I wish you luck in your quest to discover new ships and good stories. Thank you again for your kind words.

Guest: This will probably take a long time, since Misaki gives the impression that she would confess to Touma as soon as possible, and Kamachi doesn't like writing romance, so if we get a KamiSaki ending, their conversation will probably be at the very end of the series. Such Misfortune. Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed the new chapter.

Dasgun: :)

Mem: It's always good to know that there are people who liked my story enough to reread it. And also that you have this moment so high on your list, thank you, it puts a smile on my face.

Mrui2002: Thank you for reading. The good old misunderstanding never fails LOL Luckily for Misaki, she's simply an excellent suitor for her daughter-in-law, but that doesn't mean that Shiina won't be sure that she's the perfect girl for her beloved son.

Guest(2): Indeed, quite a lot.

SuddenBetrayal: Thanks, I hope you had fun reading this one too.

5queso: Shiina wreaking havoc LOL. Misunderstandings played for laughs are the best, aren't they? Thank you as always.

Blackshock: Glad you liked it. We had almost that here, and a bit of Mitori too, who is a troll just like Touma.

Markoz89: Shiina giving her future daughter-in-law a surprise attack, xD. I wanted more details on how Touya managed to land this beauty, it seems that charisma runs in the blood here, hehe.

Cainabel201X: I'm glad you liked the characterization, thank you.

Jose Blas: Thanks!

See ya!

This story has been going on for over a year. How quickly time passes, eh? It's great to have all of you here following this romantic comedy of these two unlucky people for so long. That's all for now. Moon leaving.