I opened my eyes, and it was noon. My job starts at 3, I still have two hours before I go to work. I went to the bathroom, I took a shit. And I took a 45-minute bath. 30 minutes of the whole shower was just me staring into the wall though. I got out of the bathroom, I put on my work shirt and my day jacket and I got out of the house. Who could've predicted that a once top records rock star with millions of dollars is now working at a fucking a gas station in the middle of a town that has three apartment buildings, a gun shop, a liquor store, a diner, a department store, an abandoned theatre and a convenience store that sells off-brand shit? I know who can fucking predict that. Me. And I didn't fucking take heed.
As I walked downhill to the gas station, I saw the local kids playing some songs outside the abandoned theatre. They were having fun. I wanted to smile, I really want to, but I can't. It hurts too much. I got in through the back door, and I saw my boss, Jimmy. He's around 60, I guess around dad's age now if he was still alive. He's a friendly guy, the whole town likes him, and he owns the place, I guess you can't help but be nice to the guy that provides the entire fucking town with gas. "Good afternoon Luna! You're early today." He said with a chippy tone. "You look a bit sad today, are you alright? Do you need to take the day off?" He asked. He's a nice person, and if I was who I was back then, I'd take advantage of that personality of his.
"No, I'm alright," I sighed as I punched in my card. Who would've thought that someone like me ended up working as a gas station clerk? Not me. It's paying though, so I'm not complaining. I opened the storage room door and I grabbed the carton of Gatorade out. I punctured the plastic, and I arranged it in the fridge, this town, albeit small, consumes so much Gatorade.
"Look at the progress you made, I'm so proud of you Luna," He said with glee. "It's like seeing my own daughter grow up,"
"What the hell does that mean?" I asked as I continued arranging the damn bottles. I didn't even look at him.
"When you first came here two years ago, your anger would make a bear piss their pants," Jimmy commented. I guess I softened up a bit. No, I don't want that. Hah, making progress with your social life when it's already reaching its coda. That takes the cake as one of Luna Loud's most shitty transformations. "Now look at you, you're actually replying to my comments."
I grabbed the empty cardboard and plastic and went out the back door. I threw it in the large dumpster and I went back inside. For the most part of my life here, it had been pretty quaint. Peaceful even. But I suppose my mistakes don't stop polluting my mind even in a place where the only pollution is from the World War 2 era trucks used to send cherries and fucking tomatoes. I sat behind the cash register and I put my cap on. "I'm going home now, bye!" Jimmy said as he gave me the keys to the shutters. "OH yeah, before I forget, I heated up a Hot Pocket for you in the 'wave. They're bacon, egg, and cheese. Buh-bye now!"
"Thanks, Jimmy," I sighed. I got up and I entered the break room. I opened the microwave door, and I grabbed the plate. I brought it to the register, and I slowly took a bite. Fucking hell, it's good. I was just about to finish it when someone entered the station. I stood up, I didn't want to stop chewing on the Hot Pocket in my mouth, so I held my hand out, telling him to wait. I looked down, trying to chew faster. He was in front of me already. Fuck. Quickly, I swallowed it all. I pulled my face up, and just as I was about to say the programmed line of "Hello, welcome to Anchorman's Food Fuel and Fineries" I saw the barrel of a gun in front of me. I'm getting robbed, am I? I'm gonna die anyways, at least I'm not doing it myself.
"Empty the cash registers," He ordered through his black motorcycle helmet. I didn't put my hands up. "Your money or your life!" He shouted.
I don't have time for this. "Fucking hell, will you let me finish my Hot Pocket at least?" I sighed. He looked confused. I mean, if I was a robber, and I point a gun at someone's head and they just ask whether or not they could finish their hot pocket, I'd also be pretty fucking confused. I grabbed the last remaining chunk of Hot Pocket on the plate and I shoved it in my mouth and began chewing. I held my hand up again, telling him to wait as I chew it. I swallowed it. And then I said, "My life please," as I grabbed the gun's barrel and shoved it into my skull. "I'm ready now,"
His hands shivered. What the fuck is wrong with this robber? Can't they just do their fucking job? "W-What?" He stuttered. So fucking unprofessional.
"I don't have all day, come the fuck on, just shoot me! SHOOT ME! SHOOT ME! SHOOT ME!" I yelled at him. I don't have the patience. I suppose that fiery impatience caused me to still be alive. He panicked. He let go of the gun and ran out the front door. Fucking hell. I took the gun and walked to the front door. I waved for him. "YOU FORGOT YOUR GUN!" I yelled. Fucking coward. I don't have the mood to give it back to him. I went back inside, went to the register, I grabbed the landline, and dialed my boss's number.
"Hello, Luna! You alright? Anything happened?" Jimmy asked. He still sounded chippy.
"We got robbed," I said in a dead tone.
"WHAT?! ARE YOU ALRIGHT?! I'LL GET THERE ASAP! I'LL CALL THE COPS!" He said before I sat the phone down on its house.
"I'm too repulsive that even the Grim Reaper doesn't want to take me with him to cross the River Styx." I sighed. It wasn't even five minutes when two cop cars arrived in front. I opened the door. Just as they got out of their cars, Jimmy arrived in his truck. He rushed out of his car and ran up to me. "He didn't take anything-" I couldn't finish my sentence, he jumped on me and hugged me tightly. The way dad once did. I could feel my eyes starting to bubble up, so I pushed him off. "He didn't take anything. The cash register is fine by the way," I told him.
"Thank God you're safe Luna," He said as we got inside. The cops came in.
"You said that the station got robbed?" The deputy asked. Nothing was out of place.
"Yeah, I got his gun." I said deadpanly as I gave him the Glock the robber aimed at my face. He put on a pair of latex gloves, grabbed the gun and he looked at me.
"Can we see the CCTV footage?" The deputy asked. His face said that he was shocked.
"Yes, yes, it's right over here," Jimmy brought the deputies to the break room. The place isn't that big, so the break room doubles as his office too. I didn't follow them. I took out a rollie from my pocket and walked outside. I sat on the curb and I lit it up. One puff and I saw the thin gray smoke flying.
"Wait, wait, I know you," A young deputy pointed at me as he got near, I guess one cop stayed outside too. "You're Luna Loud right?" He stood in front of me.
"And what of it?" I asked. I don't have time to talk to someone that wants to curse at me for what I did in the past, I'm already good at it I don't need someone to say it to my face anymore.
"Holy shit, you were my idol! I can't believe I'm seeing the Luna Loud!" He grabbed his cap in excitement. "Can I have your autograph?" He asked.
I didn't want to look at him. "It doesn't worth much now anyways," I said. I want to push him off. I don't want to relive that point in time again.
"I don't care, your music was the best!" He took out a pen from his pocket and handed it to me along with his notepad. "Please?" He asked. He's the type that won't fuck off until we give them what they wanted. I don't want to have a cop following me around all day.
"Alright, just don't tell anyone about it," I said, I looked at his nametag "Crown," it said and I signed it and gave it back to him.
"Thank you! I'll tell no soul!" He motioned his hand over his face as if he were zipping it. Just as he left to get something in his car, I heard the other cops laughing as they got out of the station.
"Holy shit! Girl, you're a dang badass!" The deputy I handed the gun to laughed hard. "You have more balls than Deputy Crown over there!" He pointed at the cop who asked for my autograph. They got in their cars and left. Jimmy stood behind me.
"They said that they will contact you later to get your statement," Jimmy sighed. He sat down beside me and grabbed my cigarette. He threw it on the asphalt and he squashed it under his boot. I was about to tell him off, but he said something first. "That's not good for your health Luna." Jimmy continued. "Please don't do that thing again, I don't want you to hurt yourself."
"Why do you even care? I'm no one to you," I said. I didn't want to get attached to anything and anyone anymore.
"You're just like my daughter," He gave a light laugh. "Hell, you look just like her... minus the freckles and the brown hair, you both look exactly the same." He continued. "Just promise me that you won't put your life at risk over chump change anymore," He looked at me.
"Alright fuck, I'm going back to work!" I stormed inside. I left him outside. He sat there on the curb, I guess he sighed before getting up, and going inside the station.
"Don't overdo it alright," He told me before going to the break room. I heard him moving some stuff around. He got out, and he sat a revolver pistol on the counter. "If worse comes to worst, use it, and keep it with you, I trust you enough to not use it for stupid shit. Good night Luna," He left. I saw his red truck start up and he drove off. The town is still so quiet. I sighed. I shoved the gun in my pocket and I continued to stare in front of me as if I was a brain-dead mule. I don't have anything to live for. I don't have any goals, so for now until my death, I'm just gonna live my life like this. Waiting around to die. It's either from a drug overdose, or a stray bullet. Definitely going to die alone though. Or maybe I'll live long enough to see my- No. I don't want to think about that.
2 years ago...
"Sam, what the fuck is wrong with you?" I remembered that fucking day. The day I learned that people really change, and sometimes for the worse. "Sam answer me!" I remembered trying to pull her arm, I wasn't even being rough. She fell and made it look as if I did that to her. Mazzy and Sully fucking believed her, or maybe they were already scheming against me in the first place. I remembered Mazzy and Sully pulling me back and throwing me out of the studio as if I was trash. Sam didn't even care. She spat on me more.
"I already called my lawyer, Luna, our marriage is over," That was what she said to me as I got myself up from the wet asphalt of New Jersey. And before I knew it, my marriage was off. My old friends suing me for my money, my ex-wife reaping everything that were rightfully ours together. I had nothing there anymore. It was like getting your life reaped away from your grasp and seeing it getting burned to ashes and made into a sludge for me to drink. When I got out of court that day, I saw blinding lights flashing at my face. Asking me a millions of questions. I didn't answer any. I just left. With whatever money they left me in my bank account, I got on a bus. Fuck that place. Fuck those lights. Fuck the music.
I heard someone coming from the door. It's getting dark. "Hello, welcome to Anchorman's Food Fuel and Fineries!" I said. It was him. Coward motorcycle helmet guy. He went to the register and he asked. "Where's my gun?" Is he actually that stupid. I stared into his darkened visor. "I'm asking you a question woman, where the fuck is my gun?" He banged on the counter. I felt a bit jittery not gonna lie. I need a shot.
"Are you actually that fucking stupid or is there a hidden camera somewhere?" I looked around. I'm just done. Fuck this guy.
"I'm not playing around here bitch. Do you have it or not?" His leg started jittering. Look who's nervous. This guy is making me feel better about myself. He raised his right hand readying a punch. "I'm gonna count to three before I bash your fucking head in, WHERE THE FUCK IS MY GUN?!" I didn't want to die like that. I want to die with a bit of good, I'm pathetic my whole life, I deserve to die after at least punching him five times. "ONE!" I punched him in the helmet. That fucking hurts, but it was effective enough to give him a headache.
"TWO!" I pulled his head into a chokehold. I learned that move from Lynn. I guess I'm missing them more than I could admit. But fuck that now, this is my chance to fucking die. I pulled him hard. I guess it was hard enough to make him take his helmet off the moment I let him go. I got out of the register den, and I stood up in front of him. I saw his face. No wonder he couldn't take a fucking hit. He's so fucking young. How the fuck is he going to kill me. I'm angry now. Fucker gave me false hope.
"YOU FUCKING BITCH!" He tackled me and pinned me to the register. With my left hand I grabbed the landline and smashed it on his head and he fell to the floor flat. Who knew I was strong enough to break early 2000s plastic, those are non-biodegradable. I guess I hitted him too hard because he passed out cold. Just as I was about to walk to the break room to get to the other landline, I tripped on his arm and fell, hitting my face on the fridge handle. Fuck that hurts.
The police came, their sirens were loud, and Jimmy came. He nagged at me a bit before checking for the damages. I don't want to say that his nagging was making me feel at home, but yeah, I'm glad he was like that. It was dark already. I was eating a Hot Pocket on the curb with my other hand putting a plastic bag of ice to my face when the deputies came out with the robber. I didn't finish it, so I folded the pocket up and I stuffed it in my pocket. I stood up. My back aching for the couch.
"You took out a robber alone without anyone's help, and the thing that gave you a black eye was a fridge, God damn!" The deputy laughed. "Anyways, good job on your part, I on the other hand have to tell Patrick his son robbed the gas station and got beaten up by a skinny clerk, have a nice one Luna," He said before entering his patrol car. I was about to leave too when Crown came.
"Luna- Jesus that's a mean bruise." He jumped as he got in front of me.
"What do you want Crown?"
"Oh you remembered my name- Ahem... Oh yeah, your boss is asking for you in the break room." He said. Fuck. I sighed. I turned around and I got back inside.
"What is it Jimmy?" I asked.
He didn't reply immediately, instead he handed me a cheque. "Think of it as a bonus," He smiled. I looked down and I saw the number of zeroes on it, $3000 dollars. I looked back at him and he looked at me. "That's not included in your pay, don't worry, you'll still have your usual pay. And you don't have to come to work tomorrow, just rest up, you had a long day. And keep that bruise iced!" He said as he patted my shoulder before going to break room. No wonder everyone in this town loves him.
"Thanks, Jimmy." I said. I got out of the station, and I walked uphill. Crown offered me a ride, but I rejected. I just want to die. As I walked up, I heard the kitten meowing again today. At least it's not raining. I went to the kitten box, and I saw the kitten, the mother's corpse is starting to rot. Fuck. I took my hot pocket out of my pocket, I bit onto it, and I used the cardboard pocket to grab the dead cat by the leg. It was hard, the entire thing was like a wooden board. I wanted to puke, but then I'll lose my Hot Pocket. Fuck it. Quickly I threw the dead cat into the bush behind the shop and I got back to the kitten. It was meowing loudly. I grabbed the hot pocket on my mouth as I bit it.
"I'm sorry buddy, I had to," I sat down beside the box. I know the floor is fucking disgusting. But I'm fucking tired. "Here," I gave it some of the eggs inside. It was hungry I suppose, because it didn't take him 10 seconds to finish it all. I smiled. I guess I still have a bit of humanity in me. I ripped the Hot Pocket open and I poured the insides into his box. "If we're gonna spend every night like this, you're going to need a name bro," I told the skinny kitten as a I patted its head. "How about... Gee, as in Gerard?"
The kitten meowed. I take that as a yes. I sat down for another few minutes, looking at it as it finishes the food. I just ate the shell. I guess if he's hungry, I'm gonna be hungry too. "See you tomorrow Gee," I said before leaving the kitten there.
When I got home, I flicked the lights on. It works. Fuck yeah. But still, it's not like anything I'll do will amount to anything anymore. I locked the door, I grabbed a can of beer and I sat on my couch. I took out a rollie from my container, and I took a long puff. God damn that's good kush. I smoked the entire thing and finally I squished it down on my ashtray. I don't fucking care about my life anymore. I wish I still had those Colombian coke. Fuck I took the last shot yesterday. Fucking hell. Wait, was it yesterday? Fuck it. Fuckers that say that drugs don't help never tried drugs. I opened the beer can and chugged it down. I can get absolutely fucked, I'm free tomorrow. HAH!
I laid down on the couch and just as I was about to shut my fucking eyes, someone rang my doorbell. I didn't even know that shit works. With anger, I rushed to the door. I opened it and outside I saw a blonde teenage girl with a buck tooth. I am too familiar with her face, I know her. What the fuck is she doing here?
"Hey Luna," She said.
"Hey Lily," I said.