Throttle turned the water off, grabbed a towel then stepped inside and wrapped me with it. He picked me up and carried me to the bed and sat me down. He sat down next to me and rubbed my back. He also dried me off with the towel, too.

It saddened him to see me this way and no way to help. All he could do was rub my back and hope I start to feel better. He lifted my head up and asked what was wrong.

I looked at him with blurry, red eyes. After seeing the look in my eyes, it dawned on him that I had heard everything on his end of the phone call.

"I am so sorry, honey. I didn't even think about the fact that you could hear my side of the conversation."

I managed to stop crying enough to speak. "Our kids hate me. All I did was make sure they had a roof over their heads, food on the table and clothes on their backs. I bust my ass for them and this is what I get? Charley and Modo can have the boys. I'll just live in Chicago since they don't want me around anymore. I have to stay there anyway. The hockey season starts soon."

Throttle had nothing to say. What could he say that wouldn't piss me off more?

"I'll come see the home games and maybe the games in California. Just send me the season schedule."

"I will." I sighed.

"I know you don't like this, but its what the boys want."

"I know it is, but I just don't understand why. Everything they have is cause of me."

"I know that. I will keep you updated on their growth and how they're doing in school. I'll email you everything. This way you're in their lives, without being at the house."

I smiled a little and nodded. "Thanks."
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

10 yrs. go by and I'm still abiding by my twin boys' agreement to stay away. Even after all this time, I thought they would have reconsidered and let me back in their lives. Throttle has hated what its done to our marriage. The twins have taken Modo's last name. I reluctantly signed the papers that allowed him and Charley to legally adopt them. I did ask that they take good care of them and to call me if they need help.

Even though the boys don't want me in their lives or see me around town, I stayed in their lives whether they liked it or not. I don't call the boys. I call Throttle to see how he is and how his mom is doing. He asks about the hockey season and he asks how Nosedive is doing.

"I hate this, Throttle. I hate what its done to us and our marriage. We're not a family any more. I want my boys back."

"I know you do, babe. Even after 10 yrs., they still don't want you around. What are you doing in the off season?"

"Absolutely nothing. I've been too damn depressed to do anything in the off season."

"Has Nosedive been keeping you busy in the off season?"

"Sorta. We've gone skating. The one thing that keeps me from doing myself in is when I get to see you during the season. I'm so thankful that you make it to the games."

"I'm glad to see you during the season, too. How do you like managing the Blackhawks?"

"Its great! Bunch of great guys. They welcomed us with open arms. Nosedive even brought the playbook that Wildwing had for the seasons. We've been using them."

"That's why you're winning your games. I thought some of those plays looked familiar in the final game."

There was an awkward silence for about 5 mins. We both knew what was going to happen eventually.

"I'm surprised you haven't sent me the paperwork to sign."

"What paperwork?"

"You know what paperwork I'm talking about. Its been 10 yrs., Throttle. We might as well go our separate ways."

"If you wanna get technical, we've been married for 14 yrs., but we've been "separated" for 10. I know its not what you wanted to have happen, but I'm sure as hell not going to send you the divorce papers. The boys may not want you in their lives, but I'm damned determined to make what we have together, work. I understand why you don't want any more kids. You don't want them to turn on you like the boys did. I will try to get Tyrone to call you and talk. Tony is another matter. He's very adamant about you staying out of his life."

"Have you talked to Tyrone and explained why I was gone all the time?"

"Yes, I have."

"And…?"

"We're gonna talk more later and he'll decide if he wants to talk to you. I'm hoping he does. I've seen the look in his eyes every night after dinner. I'll be working on my bike and he'll come out to the garage and tell me how much he misses you. He doesn't mention it around his brother for obvious reasons."

"I'm glad he misses me. I miss him too. I miss Tony, too. I'm glad they're doing good in school. What have the teachers said when you go to parent/teacher meetings? Cause I know that's the one thing Charley and Modo can't do since you're still in the boys' lives."

"They ask where their mother is. All I can tell them is that its complicated. I did give them your number and your email address if they're really interested in why you're not around. I figured, if anything, you should tell their teachers. I told them that, too."

"You made me feel a little better knowing that at least one of my boys misses me. If Tyrone wants to do a video chat with me, that's fine with me."

"And if he wants to come live with you? And is Nosedive living with you by chance?"

"I would love to have Tyrone come live with me and no, Dive isn't living with me. Christina is allowing him to live in the loft above the garage. He's also been helping out during the off season."

"Do you have an opening for an assistant manager?"

"What do you know about hockey?"

"Not a whole lot, but I can learn."

"Let me send a mass email to the team and see what they say. It has to be a unanimous vote."

"I understand. Let me know either way."

"I will."

While we were talking, someone came out to the garage. Throttle was sitting in the Lambo where it was nice and quiet. He looked at who came into the garage. It was Tyrone.

Tyrone lightly knocked on the window. Throttle rolled down the window.

"Dad, I miss mom. I was wondering if I could call her?"

"I happen to have her on the phone right now. Wanna talk with her?"

"Yeah, I do."

"Then come around to the passenger side and get in."

"Is this where you go so Tony doesn't find out that you talk with mom?"

"Yeah, it is. I wish your brother wasn't so stubborn about keeping your mother out of his life."

"Me too, dad." Then he came around the passenger side and got in. Throttle handed over the phone to his son.

"Hey mom. I miss you so much."

"I miss you too, Ty. I'm glad you're doing good in school. Is Tony doing good in school, too?"

"He's failing a couple of his classes. Uncle Modo and dad have gotten on him about it. Thank you for helping me with the research paper from English class."

"I'm glad you had reached out to me. Does your brother know that you have been emailing me?"

"No. He has his own computer and I have mine. I'm only a Maverick on paper, but I'm a Thornboy by blood. I will always be your son no matter what, mom."

"You have no idea how happy that makes me to hear you say that. What about your brother?"

"I don't want you to get more upset, mom."

"Its been 10 yrs., Ty. I don't think I could get any more upset than the day I signed you and Tony over to Charley and Modo."

"Ok. Tony has been calling Aunt Charley and Uncle Modo, mom and dad. He's been slowly pushing dad out of his life."

"Have you told your father this?"

"No, I haven't."

"Don't you think you should? Even if it might hurt his feelings, he needs to know."

Throttle looked at his son. Tyrone looked back at his dad and saw the look in his eyes.

"Dad looks pissed, mom."

"Better tell him right now. Put the phone on speaker."

Tyrone did that, then explained to his father about Tony.

I heard the feral growl coming from Throttle.

"Calm down, Throttle. Getting pissed isn't going to help the matter. Be thankful we have a son that loves us still."

"Mom, I wanna come live with you. I know you have hockey season during the winter."

"Your father wants to become my assistant manger for the Blackhawks. How can we take care of you when we would be on the road all season?"

"Homeschooling. I can learn while on the road with you and dad. There's a lot in hockey besides hitting a puck around on the ice. There's math and science involved, too."

"And it would be a season long field trip for you, Ty. Its also up to your father, too."

"We're both moving back to Chicago, babe. Tony has made it clear that he doesn't want me in his life any more. I will let Charley and Modo know of this news and I will also see if my mom would like to come with us."

"Throttle, I'm living in our one-bedroom place. I would have to turn the sofa into a bed and they can share it. I can't afford a new place."

Throttle looked at his son and nodded to him.

"Mom, dad looked into a 4-bedroom house near the beach there in Chicago. Dad had already been thinking about bringing me there along with grandma."

"Who plans to drive the Lambo if your father is riding his bike?"

"Grandma wants to ride on dad's bike and dad wants to drive the Lambo."

"While we've been talking, I sent that email to the team and already got some answers back about you being my assistant manager."

"And…?"

"They love the idea of you being my assistant manager, Throttle. Talk to your mom and see if she's up for one more, final move. I would suggest that you take her aside and explain everything. Maybe even talk to Charley and Modo, as well."

"I plan to. We better get inside. I'll text you later, babe. I love you."

"I love you too, honey. I love you as well, Ty. Be good for your father and your grandma. Give your grandma a big hug for me."

"I will mom. I love you and can't wait to see you."