Chapter 13

Christian

This week was fucked from the start.

Well, quite honestly, the last few have been.

I wish I could say I wasn't sure why I've been in such an unshakably foul mood, but self-awareness is a curse. Ana drunkenly kisses me, in an elevator of all places, brazenly undresses in front of me, and then doesn't remember a thing. Part of me wonders if she's faking it to avoid confronting the issue. But she was in and out of consciousness, so it is plausible that she was blacked out. And I really don't know how to feel that those actions appear to be what came out of her losing all control.

I've also been thinking about how things went that morning. I felt myself shut down as soon as she said she didn't remember. I don't know what she thinks now. She hasn't tried to reach out to me, and I haven't either. What would there be to say? Sorry for being weird, I was upset that you forgot that you tried to jump me in the elevator. Besides, after that, I'm feeling a bit… used. And I'm not used to feeling that way.

Flynn, having finally returned to America, will need another vacation by the time our next session ends.

A knock sounds at my office door. "Come in," I snap. I don't moderate my tone because he's late and he knows it.

"Mr. Grey," Riedel says, keeping his eyes down.

"You're late. Get to the point."

"Yes, sir, about that…" He clears his throat. "I'm sorry for my delay, but we had some new information come in. I wanted to review it before we met because I thought you might be interested."

"Spit it out, then."

"It's no longer suspicion, sir. We have evidence."

I pause, taking in the gravity of this moment. I should be feeling victorious, but I'm starting to wonder how this will complicate things that are already ridiculously complicated. And I idly wonder how Ana will feel. "Is the contact willing to talk?"

"Our lawyers are reviewing the validity of the NDA. This isn't my area of expertise, but from what I understand, it seems like the finer details of it may have been rushed."

"Meaning it leaves room for loopholes."

"Potentially."

"It wouldn't matter if they were sued. He can't beat us, especially once this comes to light."

"Of course."

"You're doing a fine job of manning this. I know it's turned into more of a can of worms than you expected." He was supposed to be here to innovate how we use artificial intelligence. Now he's stumbled upon career-ending scandal.

"Thank you, Mr. Grey."

"Compile a briefing for me on everything we know. I want to have a meeting in an hour."

"Yes, sir." I have to say, I like this guy. He's respectable, shows me the appropriate deference without kissing my ass, and he's done wonder in this position. I think he'll be a permanent addition, but no need for him to know that yet.

I dismiss him and return to my work, my mood slightly lightened. But it's also not lost on me that minimizing Ana as collateral damage in what is soon going to be known to the world is at the forefront of my mind.

"I don't know where we stand, but I know she doesn't deserve this."

"Where do you want to stand?"

"I don't think that matters."

Flynn taps his pen against his chin. "I think that matters a great deal in the context of our work."

I've just finished recounting the chain of events that have ensued since Ana's return to Seattle, and truly, I should have known this was coming. Obviously, even I can tell that I'm fixated on her in a way I'm never fixated on anything else. "Of course I want her around. I always wanted her around. She's the one who wanted to leave."

"If I recall, she didn't want to. It seems that she felt she had to because you wanted different things."

"We didn't as much as she thought we did."

"I know that. But she doesn't."

"And now she never will," I mutter.

"Is that so?"

"I'm not sure how that organically comes up."

"I think Ana is showing neon signs that you're on her mind, too. For heaven's sake, Christian, she kissed you in an elevator. Our truest thoughts tend to come out when our inhibitions are lowered, and that's what came of her no longer holding back. And from what you've described, her engagement is not a prosperous one. Why would she have called you for help if she still saw you as a monster? I'm not saying she did feel this way, but I know that's how you've interpreted her absence all these years."

"We've both expressed wanting to be friends. Maybe her reasoning is just to remain civil."

"And your reasoning?"

I pause, running my tongue over my teeth. "I wanted her in my life however I could get her. I wanted to be close to her again." I have yet to say any of these things out loud, and they give me shivers.

"So, why are you ignoring her?"

"I'm not."

"You haven't reached out."

"Neither has she."

"From how you described her demeanor when she was leaving that morning, do you really expect her to?"

Fuck me. "I don't know what to say to her. It seems like I always end up being something she regrets."

"Maybe Ana is just having trouble facing her reality."

"What reality?"

"She missed out on an opportunity with you in the past, and now she may wish to explore one, but she's trapped in an unhappy relationship with someone who's apparently up to no good."

"I hate to think how his stupidity will backfire on her." I really need a Westerley-shaped punching bag.

"Well, Ana can talk about that in her own therapy. Let's get back to you. The way you speak about her is so protective."

No shit. "And?"

"And… is it just protectiveness you're feeling?"

"I loved her then." He knows this.

"And now?"

"I… would like to say no." That would complicate things even further.

"That's not the same as no."

"I know."

"So?"

"Can we not do this now?" I can barely allow myself to think about this, let alone say it.

He arches a brow. "We can table it, but it's not going away."

"Not now."

"As you wish. Then, what are you going to do next?"

"About what?"

"Anything. What happens when you leave here?"

"I go home and go back to work." Strangely, today, that sounds depressing to me.

"Is that all?"

I pause, noticing where my mind is wandering. "I might check in with Ana."

"What do you think you'll say?"

"I haven't gotten that far yet. But I think a conversation is warranted."

"I hope that goes well. Next week okay?"

"Yes."

"Call if anything comes up. Though I imagine you won't, since all of this occurred in my absence, and it never occurred to you to drop a line."

I shrug. "I thought you could use the vacation I probably single-handedly paid for."

He chuckles and shakes his head. "Goodbye, Christian."

I slide into the car Taylor already has waiting outside and pull my phone out of my pocket. I'm surprised to see among the work communications I missed is a call from Kate. I don't think she's ever called me. Out of sheer curiosity and some mild concern, I call her back.

"Hi, Christian," she answers sheepishly after four rings.

"Kate. Is Elliot okay?"

"What? Oh, yeah, he's fine."

"Everyone else in the family?"

"As far as I know."

"Then respectfully, what the hell do you want?"

She's silent for long enough of a moment that my irritation almost overflows. "It's about Ana. I think I fucked up. Maybe I'm fucking up right now."

My scalp prickles with anxiety. "What about Ana? And what has this to do with me?"

Another extended silence. "I have a bad feeling that she's not happy with him and he's isolating her. Has she said anything to you? Have you talked to her?"

"I haven't since she stayed with me. Why?"

Her voice is quivering. "I met her there the morning after when she came home, what, like a couple weeks ago? She said some things about how their relationship has been and it's not good. I'm supposed to be her best friend, and I had no idea. So, anyway, we tabled the conversation being that we were both hungover and went to take naps, and when I woke up, Cam was getting home and I gave him an earful. That I knew something was up with them and he needs to get his shit together or he'll lose her. His reaction was like… he just looked at me blankly this whole time I'm yelling at him. And then he just said thanks for letting him know and he'll go talk to her. We were supposed to talk about it and she's completely clammed up again. She says she's busy with stuff and she's getting the business together, but… this just feels so ominous to me. I don't even know why I'm calling you, really… it just seems like you care about her. Do you?"

I swallow thickly. "I do."

"Like… how? Obviously, there was a thing…"

The audacity of that question doesn't move me. This is Katherine we're talking about. I ignore it. "I think you're right to be concerned about him. My company has been looking into some things and we've learned some startling information about the way he conducts his business."

"You… what?"

"He's embezzling."

"Are you kidding me?" she yells. "All these years, I thought this motherfucker was what she needed. A nice nerd who really liked her. Then the second he becomes relevant, he turns into a giant slimeball who ignores her and does this? I'm going to kill him. I'm going to write an exposé myself. I'm—"

"As much as I share your enthusiasm for wanting to take him down, pump the brakes. We're gathering information to leak to the press. This was just confirmed today. There's more that needs to happen. Though it might not be a bad idea to have you on our side, especially concerning Ana. I worry how this will affect her."

"She has no idea. There's no way. She's never given a fuck about money, and she said she barely sees him."

"I don't doubt she doesn't know."

"So, then, what do we do?"

"Is she set to come to any events?" If she's not answering calls, something in-person would be helpful.

She snorts. "Ironically, Mia mentioned that Cam RSVP'd for two to none other than the Coping Together gala next week."

That's the most disgusting thing I've heard in a while. "Who invited them?"

"Your parents, I guess. No one has filled them in on the drama."

"Fine. Let him come. Ana will need to see that she has allies."

"I'll call her again tonight."

Then I should probably leave it for now. The thought saddens me. I had been almost looking forward to reaching out to her. "I'll see what I can do to get the details straight on what's happening at Westerley Tech."

"Wicked witch of the Westerley," she mutters.

We've just arrived in my garage. "Call her. I have work to do."

"I will. Thank you, Christian. You're… not so bad."

I roll my eyes. "Likewise."

I hang up as I make my way to the elevator. It's strange to have an ally. Especially Kate. The things you do for love… My breath catches. Yes… alright. I suppose that is what it is. Love. I love Anastasia Steele. The rules are always different for her, and they always will be. Maybe I never stopped.

A/N: I'm sorry this story has been longer between chapters than you guys are used to from me. I know where the story is going already, but sometimes the motivation to sit down and write it just isn't there lol. It does spur me along when you (lovingly) yell at me in the reviews though! I promise I'm trying!

Someone said that this Ana is kind of acting like an idiot and they're not a fan, so confession: that's how I felt about book Ana. Especially now that I'm older. I can't read the originals lol. I suppose that's part of why I do this. So honestly, I think she's being dumb too, but I think she has a lot yet to learn and go through.

That being said, I expect this to be a longer story (won't be wrapped up in 20 chapters). You'll be stuck with me for a while!