DAY 2: LEXA | ALICIA

"You might want to change your Grounder memento for something more comfortable," I suggest while I watch Clarke maneuver herself into her sturdy coat. She turns around, a smile lighting up her face when she realizes I had my eyes on her. "The summer sun will make you die in there," I smirk.

"Good thinking! Did you happen to see a shop around here?" she winks, "Or a trading post maybe?"

I snort and shake my head. Pulling my backpack towards me, I take one of my own jackets out and hand it to her. "Here, take this one."

She accepts the light garment with a smile and tries it on.

"It fits," she cheers, spinning around on her feet. She looks stunning, and hot, and she makes my heart go crazy.

"Perfect," I smile, "You look—" I fall quiet, realizing I'm only making things harder. "—perfect," I mumble beneath my breath.

I leave the tent before she can respond. There's no need to postpone this any longer.

Clarke follows me outside. Trying to catch up, she pulls my sleeve. "Wait? You're not taking any of your stuff?"

As I turn around to face her, I notice the confusion in her eyes. "Why should I?"

"I don't know, because you might need them?" she shrugs. "You are... You're coming with me, right?"

When I blankly stare at her, she gazes back at me in anticipation. For a moment everything around me seems to turn still.

"N-No," I stammer. "I'm just bringing you back. I won't stay there. I-I can't stay there."

Clarke steps closer, closing the distance between us, then takes my hands into her own. "But you can't leave me. Not again. Please... you can't!" she begs.

I take a deep breath, but before I can say anything—anything at all—someone clears their throat behind me, drawing my attention away from Clarke's pleading eyes. I look over my shoulder. It's Al.

And John. And June. And Wendell. And Strand.

It's an audience.

"You can use my truck," Al smiles, suggestively raising her eyebrow, "You know, if you guys want some privacy?"

I look at her, then back at Clarke, then at the small group around us, before I return my gaze to Al and show her a small yet grateful smile.

"Yeah, okay."

Grabbing Clarke by the hand I bluntly drag her along with me, up and into the SWAT truck. "Get out," I tell Charlie, who's still in there. Once we're alone again, I turn towards Clarke.

"I'm sorry, I just assumed—"

"No, I assumed," she cuts me off, "I assumed you would want to be with our people. That you would want to be with me."

"I do want to be with you!" I cry out, throwing my hands in the air in frustration. "But those people, they are not my people anymore. And I sure am not their Heda anymore. Yet we both know they won't see it like that. They will expect things from me that I can not offer."

"But why not? If anyone can lead us in this new world, it's you!" There's desperation in her voice. I'm afraid I sound just the same though.

"Because I don't want to," I answer as calmly as possible. "Being a Commander, it's been such a burden. I realize that now more than ever. Now that I remember, and now that I can compare. Now that I can actually choose." Slowly exhaling, I gently lay my hand on her upper arm. "Clarke, this is my life now. And even though things turned to hell, I'm free. I am free! And I'm not trading my freedom for anything."

Clarke swallows and lowers her head, not saying anything anymore.

"You uhm... you can stay with me, though?" I quietly, almost cautiously suggest. "We could be free together?"

She shakes her head without looking at me. "I can't," she sighs. "It's not just my people..." She looks up at me through her lashes. "It's my kid."

"You have a kid!?" I exclaim, unintentionally provoking a laugh from her.

"Kind of, yeah," she grins. "Hey, a lot can happen in over a hundred years."

Unwillingly, a soft chuckle escapes me and for a second the air feels a little less heavy.

"Okay, well, you both come with me then? We won't be traveling much longer. We're actually on our way to a community not that far from here, a place where we might be able to settle down. We're not in yet, but two more shouldn't make a difference to get asylum or not." I look at her expectantly, unable to hide the hope in my eyes.

"She'll never come with us," Clarke murmurs, rubbing her temples.

I frown. "Can't you just tell her? I'm no expert here, but isn't that part of your job as her... as her mother?"

"Ha, you've clearly never met her," she scoffs. "First of all, remember that she's got me as an example - at least for most of her life. Secondly, she's a Nightblood. Born headstrong! And last but not least..."

She doesn't finish. Instead, she drops herself onto a crate, her back partly towards me.

"What?" I frown impatiently. Seriously, what could be more shocking than the Nightblood revelation?

Clarke heaves a heavy sigh. "She's the Commander," she continues. "Madi has the Flame. She became Heda, shortly before we left. Before we went back into space, and into cryo sleep."

Okay, I did not see this coming. Speechless, I just stare at her. Clarke goes on.

"So she will want to stay with the others, I'm pretty sure of that. She feels very responsible. And I need to be at her side."

She doesn't move. She just sits there, with her eyes fixed on nothing. I squat down next to her.

"Hey, I get it. She's your kid. I would never ask you to choose. Never!"

"I know," she nods. "It does feel like a choice though. Even more than... back then."

There's nothing left of the bliss I felt last night. Seeing her this upset, I suddenly feel like I'd rather never had seen her again, than to make her go through this.

"I wish I hadn't come after you," I confess, "I only made things complicated."

She finally looks at me again, her eyes boring into mine. "Are you kidding me? You saved my life!" she exclaims. She tenderly rests her hand against my cheek. "You give me life."

I bite my lip, trying to keep it from trembling. "But so does she," I whisper.

Clarke just nods. There's nothing left to say.

I take her hand and scramble to my feet, pulling her up with me. "Come," I just say, "You have to go."

She takes a deep breath, nods again and follows me outside. By now my friends are busy with more important things. They probably want to leave soon. I ask Clarke to wait for just a second and hurry to my tent to get my gun barrel. On the way out I walk into Al.

"You're leaving?" she asks me.

I shake my head. "No, I'm not. I'm just bringing her back."

"Good," she smiles. "Cause you owe us one hell of an explanation about that rocket ship - or whatever that thing was. Plus, you know... you're one of us."

I return her smile. "Don't you forget it! I'll be back in about two hours. Wait for me, okay?"

She promises me that she will, then narrows her eyes. "You stay safe out there, will you?"

"Of course," I nod, then remembering it's not just me, "You don't happen to have an extra knife, do you? For Clarke?"

Al pulls a butterfly knife out of her camera bag. "She can take this one. It's a bit rusty, but I assume she won't need it for dinner."

"Let's hope she won't need it at all," I sigh, as I thankfully accept the small weapon and stow it away in my back pocket.

"So, a girl huh?" Al goes on, making me look up at her again. Her smile has grown into a full-blown grin. "If only I'd known..."

I snort and playfully push her away from me. "Bye Al," I call over my shoulder, "Don't go anywhere without me!"

... ...

It's about a three mile walk back to the ship.

When we cross the woods I tell Clarke about the walkers - quietly, since I don't want to attract any attention. I give her Al's knife and explain how to defeat them—"Hit them in the head. Always in the head!"—and why you should avoid bites at any costs. I tell her about the Whisperers, who often pretend to be walkers, but are more dangerous since they actually do have working brains. (Although one might question that...) I reassure her that there are good people too, you just have to be careful who to trust.

I tell her everything she needs to know in the short time that is left. It's not until we're almost there, that I bring up our current situation again.

"Just talk to her, okay?" More nervous than I'd like to admit, I force my lips into a weak smile. "Who knows how she reacts?"

Clarke narrows her eyes. "I can tell her about you?" she asks.

"Just her," I nod, "No one else." By now we can see the ship through the trees. "I'll wait right here. Just in case you..." I don't finish my sentence.

She nods as well, understandingly, then takes a step away from me.

And another one.

And another one.

Right then, just when I think she won't look back, she turns around and rushes back to me. Without saying a word, she cups my face and presses her lips against mine.

One kiss.

We share one kiss before she lets go and starts running to her ship. To her people.

To her home.

... ...