DAY 5-6: LEXA | ALICIA
It's still dark when we meet at the gate, right where we left the car the other day. Magna and Yumiko are already waiting for us. And they're not alone. They brought two horses with them.
"These are yours?" I ask in surprise.
"We borrowed them," Yumiko explains while stroking the horse's neck, "With the promise to bring them back. Whenever that will be."
Clarke steps forward. "How's your leg?" she checks like a true physician.
"Much better, thank you," Yumiko smiles at her. Magna lays her hand on her girl's shoulder.
"Although she's healing well, we figured more rest can't harm. So Miko will take the car until it runs out of gas. To avoid overburdening the leg, and friction from the saddle."
"Then again, riding is still better than walking," Yumiko adds. "So as soon as the car turn useless, I'll jump on."
Magna looks at me. She winks. "You still remember how to ride?"
I scoff. "I remember quite well. My butt on the other hand..."
We all laugh, and with that it seems decided that Magna and I will ride the horses for the first part while the others take the car. Magna shows us the map she asked Tara to draw. With the amount of gasoline left in the tank, we reckon we can make it halfway. Those first forty miles aren't exactly a straight line though.
"Looks like Magna and I can take a lot of shortcuts. Which is good, cause it means you guys can actually drive with normal speed. I'd say we wait here, here and here for each other," I suggest as I circle soms junctions on the map. "When it takes over half an hour to meet up at these points we start looking till we're complete again."
"Sounds like a plan," Al nods. "Let me draw a copy."
While Al duplicates the map, Magna, Clarke and I load the car with our backpacks, tents and blankets. When everything is in place, we're ready to go.
I turn around and gently pat the horse that will be my companion for the next two or so hours. It's my way of getting acquainted before we can give each other our full confidence. A habit that has stuck from my past, I guess. However, before I can mount the animal, I feel a pair of arms wrap tightly around me from behind.
"Stay safe... baby," Clarke tells me in a whisper, her lips close to my ear.
A giggle bursts out of me and I quickly turn around to face her, smiling from ear to ear. I lean in and kiss her. "I will," I promise with my lips still close to hers.
She returns my smile, lets go of me and starts to walk towards the car.
"Hey," I call after her. She spins around. "It's gonna be alright, you know?"
Her forehead creases. "What is?"
"Everything. We'll find a place. Build a home. Our people will join us - if they want to. Heck, I might even marry you."
"You love me that much, huh?" She takes a step closer, her eyes twinkling as they meet mine.
"Nah... I just really want you to become Clarke Clark," I tease before suddenly pulling her in and locking our lips again. "Yes, you moron, I love you that much!" I tell her as soon as we break apart. Moving my lips to her ear, I whisper, "I always have."
... ...
"I really appreciate you helping us, joining us all the way there. Especially since you're leaving a great place behind."
I look to my side, where Magna is riding right next to me. She turns her head and smiles with a nod.
"Well, in all honesty, it's not all just for you," she confesses. "This whole previous-life thing, it's... overwhelming. To say the least. All the emotions, and all the questions on top of that. It just seemed wise to be around someone who's going through the same."
"Makes sense," I agree, "But for that you actually could have stayed right where you were."
She glances at me with a questioning look. I lift my shoulder in a one-sided shrug. "Why do you think Jesus sent me away?"
Her eyes could not have grown any bigger.
As we cross an open meadow, I tell her all about Aden, who she got to know as Jesus, but who's actually both of them - in the same idiotic way as we are one with our past. I tell her about our connection back then, and how it's now firing back at me.
"I still haven't figured out why all this is happening to me - to us. But the encounter with Jesus got me thinking... maybe it's some kind of karma? You know, what goes around comes around?"
"Hm, I don't think that's what it is," Magna murmurs. "If it were, I'm pretty sure I would have returned as a woodlouse."
I want to laugh, but I stop myself when I see she isn't joking.
"I don't know," she goes on, "It feels like we've been given a fresh start. At least that's what it looks like. Don't know about you, but my life ended with a giant hole in my torso, yet I was born again without a scratch. I'm not even a Nightblood anymore. Are you?"
I shake my head. I'm not.
I let her words sink in. It's true that we left a part of ourselves behind. But it feels like I took the bigger part with me.
"How about the memories," I muse out loud. "The fact that we recall who we were? And what we did? That doesn't sound like a common reincarnation thing - which I'm not even sure I believe in. And it definitely doesn't feel like a fun bonus, since it wasn't exactly all beer and skittles back then."
"You think we remember it all for a reason?" she wonders, raising her brows.
"Maybe? What if that's what it's actually about? Having to deal with the bad stuff - the memories, the darkness, the consequences of our choices? We never got the chance to make things right, as our lives ended all so abruptly. We never got to feel it... to live with it."
"That wouldn't explain Aden's comeback though, would it? He sounded pretty innocent to me?"
A sigh escapes me. "You're right. I can't think of any reason why he would deserve this... this... punishment."
We reach a stream and stay quiet for a moment while we cross it, as it turns out to be a little deeper than it looked like at first sight. We make it to the other side with dry feet though.
"Maybe it doesn't have to be a punishment," Magna continues when we're back on the shore. "Maybe there's not even a higher purpose? It might just be about second chances. About coming to terms with whatever we need to deal with, whether as a perpetrator or as a victim, so we can move on after all."
"So we can actually live this life without any burden?"
She shrugs. "Well, dwelling in the past never helps. The sooner you can leave it all behind..."
"You think it really works like that?" I question, "Like, when you decided to distance yourself from Luna, to simply state she's gone, did that help you to turn that switch?"
Moving her eyes to the path in front of us, she draws in a long breath, then blows out her cheeks. "No," she admits. "As much as I want to stick my head in the sand, I know there are a few things I have to face. I just don't know how yet. Also, I can't help but wonder..."
She falls quiet.
"Wonder what?" I cautiously ask.
She looks at me again, briefly. There's this sadness in her eyes I haven't seen before.
"Do you... Do you think my brother is somewhere out here as well?"
Her question surprises me. I hadn't thought about the possibility yet.
"Honestly? I don't know. But yeah, maybe. I mean, it's three of us already. All ending up in the same area. So, sure... who knows."
"Guess it would be impossible to find him though," she sighs. "He might be aged, like Jesus. Or—" Her eye catches a walker, tied to a tree and deliriously biting into the air. "Or look like him."
As we pass the undead I smash his brain with my gun barrel, releasing him from his inhumane, endless sentence.
"No, let's not go there! If he's here indeed, and he's anything like you, I'm sure he's doing alright," I tell her. "But I think you're right, looking for him would be useless. This world is too big, and he could simply be anybody."
She nods, and as our eyes meet again, a small smirk appears on her face. "Plus there's the fact of us heading towards an all-female hideout."
"Plus there's that," I grin in response.
"Or at least that's the plan," she goes on as she points in the distance, where a four feet high wall is blocking our way. She looks at me defiantly. "You think you can handle that one?"
I answer her by spurring on my horse and galloping straight towards the barrier.
"Meet you on the other side," I call over my shoulder, and when I make the jump, I realize that's exactly what happened with us - and I'm really, really glad it did.
... ...
We were right: the car runs out of gas when we're almost halfway. As soon as it does, we put the blankets and tents on the horses and strap our backpacks on. The easy part is over.
Forty miles by foot takes about six times as long as it does by car. So we're up for at least twelve to fourteen hours, more if we run into trouble. We walk with hardly any breaks and cover a large part all together, but when darkness is about to fall we're all happy we can stop - admitting that our legs (and butts) are done with it.
Luckily we find an abandoned building that has once been a small shop, which offers us a safe place to sleep (and also—finally—some new, more fitting clothes for Clarke).
After a good night's sleep, we start part two early in the morning.
Just like yesterday, Yumiko rides on one horse and the rest of us takes turns riding the other. That is, the rest of us except for Al. She refuses to climb on it because, as it turns out, she once fell off one.
Thinking back of the moment when she confessed her fear yesterday, I can't help but laugh again.
"You know Al, I kind of thought you weren't scared of anything," I chuckle as I look at my friend, who's walking in front of me. She holds her pace so I can catch up with her, then looks at me. She knows what I'm talking about without asking.
"I'm not scared of horses," she sets me straight, "I'm just not riding them."
"Sure, whatever," I laugh. "It's funny, isn't it? We've met years ago and there's still so much I don't know about you."
"Ha, and that's coming from you!" she snorts.
I narrow my eyes. "What do you mean?"
"Are you ever going to tell me about her?" she grins, bobbing her head towards Clarke, who's now riding the horse, about ten yards away from us. "Your instant girlfriend who came falling out of the sky just like that?"
"I can imagine it looked like that," I chuckle, understanding her curiosity. "But we actually go far back. We were together before."
"Before the outbreak? I thought you had a boyfriend back then?"
"I did, yes. Matt..." I smile. A feeling of melancholy hits me. It's been a while since I thought of him. I sigh and focus on my friend again. "No, I actually met Clarke way before that. We were in some kids club together. Like the Girl Scouts. That's where we met Magna, too."
She looks at me, her eyes full of questions. The journalist in her wants more. Fortunately, knowing her longer than today, I prepared myself for this moment.
"We lost touch during high school, but ran into each other again shortly after the world fell apart - but before I met Strand," I start to tell. "We weren't exactly kids anymore, and we uh... we really hit it off. So to speak. Sadly we lost each other soon after. I only learned just now that she'd been taken by the army. She's been with them ever since."
I can't believe I'm lying to my friend like this. Especially because Al is always in for a good story and I'm positive she would really love the original one - if she could ever believe it. I'm just glad that she at least seems to be digging this alternative version as well.
"Those people she was with, they were soldiers?" she asks eagerly, yet with some understandable skepticism in her voice.
"Yes. Well, no, not soldiers like any soldiers we know," I go on, trying to remember the story I made up in my head. "They were part of some special division. After the US army had fallen, they kept going on, now adjusted to this new world. Fully undercover, they aim to do good by going after the bad. That's why they chose this area, apparently. They're here to fight the Whisperers. That's all I know. I can't tell you anything more, since Clarke claims she already said too much. It's a secret mission."
Al nods. "I get that. How about that spacecraft... rocket ship... whatever that thing was? How did they get it?"
I put my hand on her shoulder and pull her a bit downwards to get closer to her ear. "Dreamland," I mumble beneath my breath.
"No way!" she gasps, wide-eyed. "Area 51? For real?! They got in there?"
I wiggle my brows. If I have to come up with a story, it might as well be an entertaining one. Nevertheless I swear to myself right here and right now that one day I'll tell her the truth, and make up for lying in whatever way I can or need to.
"You know what, forget that I even asked," she cries out, "Hearing these kind of stories, now that my camera broke down... it's too much!"
I can't help but laugh. "You can always consider reviving the written press," I joke, bumping my shoulder against her arm in my failed attempted to hit her shoulder.
She playfully pushes me back aside. Frolicking like this, we reach the bridge where the others are waiting for us.
"Time to get out those white flags," Magna tells us.
Unlike us, she isn't joking. Tara explained how Oceanside manages to keep the enemy out: they simply kill every stranger that gets to close. And although they are supposed to be on better terms with some other communities these days, we don't want to take any risk.
With white rags in our hands, we cross the bridge and leave the road to follow the dry river to the east. Somewhere between these trees and the ocean should be a place we might call home. If we make it there alive...
We walk through the nullah in silence, all five of us, with the horses right behind us on their leashes. Despite the fact that we must be getting closer to the coast, the forest around us is getting thicker with every few hundred yards, making it more and more difficult to see through the trees. Which is why the young woman in front of us seems to be coming out of nowhere.
"Stop right there!" she tells us in a clear, steady voice.
Magna immediately waves her flag, and we all follow her example. You'd think I'd feel silly, but the rifle she's holding stops me from thinking anything at all.
"We're friends of Tara Chambler," Magna starts to explain. She makes sure not to make any unexpected movements. "She wrote a note for Cyndie. You know her?"
"I do," the woman nods, "I am her."
Exhaling in relief, Magna forces a smile. "Great! I've got it right here in my pocket. Can I take it out for you?"
"Yes. Show me from over there, then bring it to me. The rest of you stay there!" Cyndie orders, continuing when Magna slowly walks towards her, "I told Tara to never ever tell anyone about us. That seems to be going well."
She might be pointing a heavy shotgun at us, but somehow I like her already.
Cyndie takes the note from Magna, who quickly takes a step backwards, and reads it without giving us the chance to pull a trick on her. When she's done, she lowers her hand with the small piece of paper and the one with the rifle.
"Alright," she nods again, "Any of you know how to fish?"
... ...