DAY 13: AL

After our somewhat unconventional meeting, a week ago today, Cyndie took us to her settlement without further questions. Evidently Tara's letter was that convincing. Or maybe she owed her something? Whatever it was, for once it finally felt as if luck was on our side.

And that feeling only increased when we actually got to Oceanside, which turned out to be some former beach resort, or campground. I don't know, something fun and recreational. Of course by now its holiday days are far over. They've turned it into a small village over time, with people actually living and working in the various cabins, and with the old swimming pool now serving as a vegetable garden, but despite all that, the whole place still has this cozy, holiday ambiance. A homey atmosphere I wasn't aware I needed until I set foot there. Me - the restless, always yearning for excitement, metropolitan (yet you-can-send-me-anywhere-for-a-story) news reporter.

Then again, even without the disastrous outbreak, my young and fearless fresh out of college days would be far behind me by now, so who knows, perhaps the adventurous missions and bar hopping nights would have been, too. Who knows what my life would have looked like these days if things hadn't gone to hell?

Anyway...

We made it to the compound, where they happened to have one cabin left. The poorest one - of course. Between you and me, a shack would be a better word. But it was still a whole lot more than anything we've had for the past year. It has a roof, some decent beds and a small kitchen with a stove. It even has running water.

So far for the good part. It's also the size of a shoebox, while we have to share it with the five of us. And sharing with two couples... not that great.

Cyndie and her friend Rachel, the two leaders of Oceanside, didn't ask us for much in return, except for our contribution. No one stays in Oceanside without a job - with the exception of the few kids that grow up here; they actually go to school. So the question was: what did we had to offer?

Unfortunately for me they didn't need a journalist. In retrospect it might have been better not to have asked them what they did need, because now I'm part of the fishing team. And unlike Magna, who joined me, I'm not doing great in, on or even around the water.

Where Magna dazzled everyone with her natural fishing skills from the first minute on (I am starting to suspect that she's secretly a mermaid), I've been failing on every level. We've been out there five times by now and I still haven't caught anything. Instead, I got seasick twice—barfing and everything—and fell off the boat once.

I really don't know why they haven't fired me yet.

In the meantime, while I've been making a complete fool of myself, Alicia and Yumiko both joined the hunting squad, and Clarke started to help out at the small clinic. Alongside all this, all five of us started helping to guard this place, just like everyone else who lives here.

So, I guess it's safe to say that we've all been pretty busy since the day we arrived here. Which is certainly something I needed to get used to again, but to my own surprise I have to admit it feels good. For the first time in forever, things seem as they used to be in what now feels like a previous life... Well, except for the lack of Friday nights out that is.

But tonight it turns out they even found some kind of alternative for that as well. Cause tonight it's party time in Oceanside!

To celebrate Rachel's birthday they built a bonfire on the beach, and although we have to do without Jimbo's Beerbos, they managed to organize some good snacks and drinks. With lots of laughter, chit-chat and even a few songs, the night really isn't that much different from a night in a bar. A beach bar instead of a Hell's Kitchen one, but still.

It's not just funny tales though. Tonight we also get to hear the sad ones.

We learn why there are no grown men around here, and how it has nothing to do with rainbow flags. They used to have plenty of brothers, husbands, fathers and sons around. Until a couple of years ago this group called the Saviors decided to kill every male over the age of ten. Which is why the few boys left are now all between five and fourteen.

The truth about their history leaves us speechless for a bit. Now that the evening is turning into night and with most of the attendees gone (or on watch - like Magna and Yumiko), we're only left with a handful of people, so our sudden silence is quite dominant. For a short moment the air is filled with nothing but the crackling sound of the fire and the rolling roar of the waves.

It's Cyndie who lightens the mood again.

"Anyhow, enough with all the misery!" she blurts out, cracking a smile as she looks around at us. "How about you guys? You've always been friends?"

A snort escapes me before I can stop it. "You wanna tell how we met?" I ask Alicia. She's sitting on the other side of the fire, whose flames are now less than two feet high.

"You mean how I pretended to be hurt, before I almost pierced your throat?" she grins, "I'm not sure if I should, Al."

I mirror her grin. "I also remember some serious wrestling in my truck. Actually still got a scar from that!"

"Ah, the classic foes to friends story," Rachel laughs. "Those are always hard to beat."

Alicia's smirk grows even bigger. "How about the enemies to lovers tale? I'm not the only one putting knives to throats." She wraps her arm around Clarke and pulls her close against her. "This one almost slit mine once!"

"You might want to mention how you betrayed me not long before that," Clarke mumbles in a quasi-defensive way, yet unable to hide her amusement.

"Yeah, that also sounds like a better-not," Alicia sniggers. She wiggles her brows at her, which seems to be the start of a silent conversation between the two of them I don't necessarily need to witness.

Averting my eyes, I poke a stick in the fire to stir up the flames and watch the sparks fly up in the sky.

"Well, I think we can all agree that not always going for the kill works out sometimes. Right, sis?" Cyndie winks at her young companion. "We wouldn't be sitting here with new friends if we had stuck to our rules and killed Tara back then."

"You mean if you hadn't stopped me?!" Rachel scoffs.

Cyndie spreads her hands. "Well, I didn't want to say it..." Without waiting for her mate's reaction, she raises her glass. "To new friends! And to old one's adding another year to the list!"

We all toast and congratulate the birthday girl.

"Now tell me," Alicia asks laughing, "how do you even know it's your birthday?"

Rachel grins. "I don't. I mean, no one has a clue what day it is, right? But that doesn't mean we shouldn't celebrate anymore. So whenever we decide we deserve some fun, we pick a night and the next person on the calendar, and we have a party. And hey, as long as it doesn't snow it could be my day... I'm born in June, you see."

Clarke shakes her head. "I'm really starting to wonder why they got us thinking you're all rough and tough, and not to mess with."

"Because we are!" Rachel exclaims. "Believe me, you don't want to fight us! This, what you see here, this is just us behind the scenes."

The sound of laughter rises up again. Nonetheless I can still hear Alicia quietly asking Clarke if she's ready to move behind the scenes as well. I can only assume Clarke's giggle means yes, especially when they both stand up, together as one.

Mary and Deb, two of my fellow fishing mates, follow their example, as does Rachel. After wishing everyone goodnight, the whole bunch leaves the small beach. My gaze only follows my own friend though.

"Does she know?"

Cyndie's voice coming from beside me startles me. For some reason I thought I was the only one left.

"What? Who?!" I stammer.

"Alicia? Does she know you're into her?"

"I-I'm not..." As I stop myself from talking a heavy sigh escapes me. I look heavenward, cursing myself, and shake my head, slowly. "No, I don't think so."

Cyndie shifts in her spot. We'd be facing each other now if I would do the same - which I don't. I do look at her though, from the corner of my eyes. There's a soft, friendly smile on her lips, and despite the fact that I would do anything to lure a potential deadly herd right now, just for the sake of distraction, I catch myself briefly smiling back at her, then make some hopeless, half-shrug gesture.

"So, what's your story?" she asks.

"I thought there was no place for journalists here?" I scoff, though laughing.

Her brows arch and she keeps staring at me with those big, brown eyes - eager yet patiently. A dangerous combination.

Feeling more uncomfortable by the minute, I clear my throat and shake my head again, before surprising the both of us by suddenly pulling my beanie down, covering at least half of my face. Her laughter sounds warm and genuine, like she actually thinks I'm funny, which is why I don't fight her when she pulls it off my head. I don't look at her, but I can tell she's still smiling when she speaks up.

"Isn't it weird that no matter how old you get, there are just some things in life that will always make you feel fifteen again?"

I nod in understanding, then turn my head, facing her again.

"I used to be cool, you know?"

"Weren't we all?" she laughs, and I can't help but chuckle along. She tosses the beanie into my lap. "For what it's worth, I still think you're cool. The whole world went down, but you're still standing. You survived. You did that. Nobody else. And not just by depending on others. I heard about your skills—"

"From whom?"

She cocks her head.

"Alicia..." I mumble.

Leaning forward she pats my knee. "I'm just saying you're more than a chick with a crush. And way more than a chick who can't fish."

I moan. "You heard about that too, huh?"

"I hear everything," she grins. "You want me to find you a better job?"

A deep, relieved sigh falls of my lips. "I think that's best for everyone!"

"Consider it done," she shrugs with casual authority, "... if you tell me about Alicia."

"Oh, come on!" I cry out, throwing my head back in despair. "Why would that even interest you? It's just more misery. Weren't you done with that for tonight?"

She shrugs again. "I don't know. Perhaps I just hate how the pandemic wasn't just the end of civilization... it also robbed me from my beloved telenovelas. I guess after all this time I'm just dying for a juicy love story - even if it's a tragic one."

I roll my eyes. Hopeless. This girl is hopeless. Even more hopeless than me!

On the other hand... she does sound sincere. And would it really be so bad to let my guard down for once? To trust someone a little? It might actually be nice to have another friend here. One that isn't her.

I take a deep breath and turn towards her, mirroring her cross-legged position.

"I don't think there's a real story to tell here. Alicia and I, we've been friends for quite some years. Just friends. We're real easy around each other. Always goofing around, cracking jokes - at least that's what I want her to believe. Sure as hell don't want her to know I was actually flirting with her now and again! Even though once in a blue moon she gave me this feeling, this spark of a hint, that maybe it wasn't just me. That there might actually have been some sort of vibe between us."

I pause for a moment to catch my breath. When I continue I lower my gaze, picking a piece of lint from my ragged jeans.

"Whether I was right or not, I always kept telling myself it was all in my head. Because it didn't make sense. Because I knew her - I knew her well enough to see that it couldn't be real. Yet of course I knew myself even better. I knew I wasn't just flirting a bit. I was falling for her. I couldn't deny those feelings. I could shove them to the background though. Which I did, obviously, as I decided that acting on them would only jeopardize our friendship."

My shoulders sag and I exhale. "You know, I simply believed she wasn't an option. I really never knew she was into..." I raise my hand and give a vague wave. "I just never knew. And when I found out that I was wrong, I was too late."

Cyndie narrows her eyes. "Are you really?"

"You've seen them, right?" I sigh.

Slowly nodding her head, she pouts compassionately. "Must be tough, watching them together all the time."

"Watching them, listening to them... living with them! You know the worst thing is that I'm doing this to myself. I could have let them go—let her go—and just stay behind with the others. Out of sight, out of mind, right? But I reckoned I'd rather be around her knowing she would never feel the same, than..." I fall quiet for another moment. "Clearly I am my own worst enemy."

"Well, you couldn't know you had to live in a frat house here," she laughs, before quickly resting her hands on my knees again and adding, "Sorry, that's not funny!"

An unexpected but very welcome chuckle bursts of my lips. "It kind of is, actually... when you think of it. The five of us cramped in there together."

"I'd rather not, but I'm glad to see you laugh again," she joins my snickering. "And you know what?"

I break my stare, which I was unaware of till now, and move my eyes from her hands on my knees up to her face. The warm glow of the campfire illuminates her caramel-colored skin.

"What?"

She scooches closer, our knees now practically touching, and leans in as if she's about to share a secret. "I think it's her loss."

Accepting the lie for once, I feel my lips curve into a grateful smile.

"And if you ever need a place to stay..." she goes on.

My eyes grow wide. "You got an extra bed?"

She lifts her hand and gently brushes the lock of hair from my forehead to the side. Our eyes lock.

"No," she answers.

Her voice is dead serious, as is her stare. It makes me freeze, then swallow, and finally cracking up laughing - nervously, so basically like an idiot.

It doesn't unbalance her though. She doesn't look away, startled by her own words, or by my embarrassing reaction to them. She doesn't even blink. Instead her mouth slowly forms a small, seductive grin. The most beautiful one I've seen in a very long time. The most tempting one, too.

And yet...

"I-I'm flattered. I am!" I murmur, averting my eyes to the darkness of the ocean. "But I... I can't. It wouldn't be fair. To you, I mean."

She gets up, wiping the sand of her jeans. "Who says it needs to be fair? Who says it needs to be anything at all? Anything but some well deserved distraction?!"

She reaches out her hand to me.

Subconsciously my eyes wander to my cabin, half hidden behind the trees. The lights are out, but I can still see the outline of it. I press my lips together.

Cyndie doesn't say anything. She doesn't move either. She just waits, patiently, as she watches me - with her hand still open like an invitation. I look up at her and catch the sparkle in her eyes. A sparkle that somehow brings me back to that other life.

Ten years ago I would not have thought twice about this. Eager for life I took every chance I got, always, and I didn't allow myself any regrets over lost opportunities. Why would today be any different?

I mean, come on... look at her!

Fighting another chuckle, I shake my head.

"It's been long enough," I smile to myself as I lay my hand in hers and let her pull me up, "It's time to live again."

... ...