DAY 18: RAVEN
As soon as my words are out, Clarke stumbles backwards, gasping for air and vigorously shaking her head.
"No! No! No!" Her frantic eyes move rapidly between me and Echo. "Tell me she didn't—"
"I'm sorry—" Echo tries to comfort her, but she doesn't even get the chance to explain; when Clarke collapses to her knees, a gruesome cry escapes her lungs - louder than every other sound around us. Louder than I ever heard before.
Despite everything that happened between us, everything she did to me, it breaks me to see her like this. No single soul should have to go through this pain.
Aware that every second of this unmeant torture is one too many, I speed towards her, with Echo right behind me. We both kneel down on the ground, close enough to make her really see us, but far enough so that Lexa, who's holding her tight and looks more protective than ever, can't lash out at us - physically that is.
"Clarke, no, wait! It's not like that. It's... Hey, look at me!" I pant, desperately trying to reach her, and relieved when her eyes finally find mine. "Madi is okay," I slowly go on, making sure she gets every word I say. "You hear me? She's sick, but—"
"What's wrong with you?!" Lexa cries out, her voice raised and her blazing green eyes spitting fire. "This is how you tell someone her child is about to die? Picking a fight, then casually mentioning that sh—"
"She's not!" I manage to interrupt her. "She's not dying!"
"Don't fool yourself! She got a bite? She dies! Just like everybody else," Lexa snarks, while pulling Clarke even closer into her arms. "You just got here. You have no idea. Or maybe by now you do, and you're just lying to yourself. But don't lie to us - to her. It's her kid you're talking about."
Echo shuffles closer and rests her hand on Lexa's shoulder. I wouldn't call myself a wimp, but I'm not ashamed to admit I'll never be as brave as her.
"Lexa, we're not lying. I swear. Just... try to calm down. Breathe. Take a second, both of you, and we'll try to explain."
Without checking at each other Echo and I both move backwards again, giving them some space to catch their breath. From a short distance I watch how Clarke tries to control her breathing, while Lexa gently strokes her hair, wipes away her tears and talks to her in the softest voice.
A zillion questions cross my mind.
How is she here? Both Clarke and Murphy watched her die... didn't they? Did she trick them with some macabre act? Was she never really gone? But she has hardly aged... Was she in cryo-sleep, like us?!
My biggest question though is how this young woman I'm watching right now is the same as the merciless army commander I once met on the battle field.
As soon as Clarke is able to talk again, she looks at us and nods, telling us she's ready. We all move from the middle of the road to the side of it, even though I have the feeling not a lot of traffic drives by. Once seated, two pair of eyes, full of expectation, meet ours again.
"The day we arrived here, Diyoza got bitten," Echo starts. "Madi told us you know about that. That you were actually the one explaining to her how to handle it. How to... end it. Madi was stubborn though. She wanted to see what would happen. She did however lock her in a storage room at the Gagarin, for safety reasons. Within the next two days, Diyoza got sick."
Clarke narrows her eyes. "Sick how?"
"Sweating, shivering. Everything that comes with high fevers, basically. Could have been a delirium as well," I answer, trying to paint the picture. "That's when we came up with the plan of bringing her back to the Eligius. To the lab, where we could run some tests - and hopefully find a cure. Or put her back to cryo-sleep in case we had to. We—Abby, Jackson and me—left shortly after you guys did, so we learned. By that time three others were bitten as well. So we ended up back in space with four people being infected with God-knows-what."
"In the meantime people on the ground started to run into these monsters by daylight and realized what we're actually dealing with. Not just some wild animals indeed," Echo adds.
Remembering the vivid horror stories they reported to us, my face twists. "Up in space we kept hearing these horrible examples of what would happen if we acted too late, while in the meantime Abby and Jackson didn't get any further. With all questions unanswered, they had to admit that they couldn't help any of them. All they could do was putting all four of them to sleep. So we made sure to get them in those pods before they turned into... I don't even know what to calm them."
"That worked?" Lexa asks, raising her brows in marvel. "They didn't turn?"
I shake my head. "They didn't. But it didn't resolve anything either. We had no clue if we could ever wake them up, so this was hardly any better than death. Plus I was already called back to get the next victim. Imagine my shock when I got back to the ground and found out it was Madi who got a bite."
By the mention of Madi's name Clarke gulps for air again. Lexa gently strokes her back and rests her other hand on her knee. She nods at me to go on.
"I brought her up to the mothership and we prepared ourselves for the worst, especially when the fevers started. But to everyone's astonishment she stopped getting worse after a while. On the contrary, she seemed to be doing better. She is doing better. Clarke, you have to believe me, she really seems okay."
Clarke looks straight at me. The fear in her eyes is indescribable.
"Then why are you here?"
"We got worried that maybe we'd acted too hastily. That we'd misunderstood. That those bites might have caused some serious infections, hence the fevers, but had nothing to do with those gnawing creatures on the ground. So we decided to wake one of them - Brell, a former Grounder. I don't know if you— doesn't matter..." I take a deep breath. "Point is, we shouldn't have... She turned before our eyes and we had no other choice than stab her brain."
"Told you," Lexa remarks with a shrug.
Clarke keeps her eyes on me. "And with all that you're still saying Madi is fine?"
"Because she sure as hell looks fine! She's healing, pretty quickly actually. I'm telling you, that kid is anything but dead!"
"So she's the one exception?" she frowns. "Why?"
"That's what we're trying to figure out. What's the difference between her and everyone else? What are the variables? A question we asked ourselves once before, as you might remember. Yet this time we came up with not one but two things. Nightblood, once again, and—"
"—the Flame," Clarke beats me to it.
"Exactly," I nod. "Now it could be both, it could be neither, we don't know. But we sure as hell want to find out. Correction: need to find out. Cause maybe, just maybe, this could save us all."
Lexa pulls a face. "You're here less than three weeks and you found a cure for human kind? I knew you space guys are cocky, but this beats everything..."
"I won't take it that far, but we found something. There's no denying there. We just got stuck already."
"How?" she asks.
Now I'm the one to shrug. "We can't take the next step. If we take out the Flame to try it on one of the others, we might harm Madi. Cause if it is the Flame protecting her, what will happen to her when we take it away?"
"Besides, no one can bond with the Flame, since no one besides Madi is a Nightblood," Echo further explains.
Clarke exhales. She still looks beaten, though slightly less upset. "So start with the blood," she suggests.
"That's what we figured," I smile without joy, "but we can't do that either. Turned out Madi's blood is contaminated by the bite. She does carry the virus - if that's what this is. It just doesn't affect her."
"Yet," Clarke corrects me, her voice thin and fragile. "It doesn't affect her yet."
I slowly nod, not wanting to raise any false hope. Or being called a liar again.
"Abby thinks she can heal her with a full blood transfusion. That's why Madi sent us. To get you, and the others. The last part being quite the riddle, but I'm starting to understand," Echo goes on, her eyes now on Lexa.
Lexa sits up, straight and with her hands now back in her own lap - radiating authority without even trying. The lack of warpaint really doesn't make her any less of a commander.
"We're not Nightbloods anymore," she says.
Echo subconsciously mirrors her pose. "We?"
Clarke and Lexa exchange a brief look. When Clarke faces us again, she inhales deeply and rolls her shoulders, as if tension suddenly hit her, "Well, yeah... Lexa is not the only familiar face around here."
Confused, I sit back, blink a few times as I try to wrap my head around this, then look up at Lexa again. "But I don't know any Nightblood other than you. Except..." I falter for a moment. "No, that can't be. She died."
"I died," she shrugs with a small, lopsided smile.
"That's what I believed until a few minutes ago," I scoff, "But you look very alive to me. So unless you came back from the death in a much prettier way than everyone else around here..."
"I'm sorry," Echo's voice drowns out mine, "Who are we talking about here?"
As I look to my side, I notice she looks just as puzzled as I probably do.
Lexa and Clarke share another glance, most likely trying to decide what to do. Shaking her head, Clarke lightly shrugs. "There's no going back now," she quietly mumbles.
Lexa turns to Echo again. "Luna," she sighs, and although I was waiting to hear that name, it still shocks me.
"The Floukru Nightblood!" Echo exclaims. "That's who was with you when I followed you here. I knew she looked familiar!"
Lexa cocks her head, a curious look on her face. "You two met?"
"Well, we didn't exactly shake hands or anything, but yeah, I saw her once," Echo nods. "At the final Conclave. Not the finest moment for either of us, let's keep it at that."
"She's got any reason to rip your throat?" Lexa questions.
"Not that I'm aware of, but I think we're about to find out."
Echo points towards two women, standing at the other side of the road, about a hundred feet behind Clarke and Lexa. I follow their gaze as they look over their shoulders, feeling slightly embarrassed that I hadn't noticed them yet, while they're pretty much right in front of me.
They're observing us from the distance, seemingly at ease, which makes sense since by now our gathering looks more like a family picknick than a threat.
I force myself to look better. To actually look at her. That's when our eyes meet. Even though this isn't my first inexplicable rendez-vous today, and I already learned she'd be around, my heart still skips a beat.
Surreal. It's just... surreal.
Echo's voice right next to me makes me break my stare.
"They followed you?"
Clarke faces her, a hint of a smile on her lips. "Wouldn't be the first time."
She turns a second time, waves at them and calls them over, before quickly glancing at us again with a sudden, more serious look in her eyes. "One more thing: Luna is Magna now. And Lexa goes by Alicia these days. If you wanna avoid any trouble, go along with it!"
Before I can even response, Luna—or whatever her new name is—and her friend join our little group.
"You guys okay?" the unknown woman asks.
Clarke nods. "Yeah, we're fine. These are Raven and Echo. They're friends of mine from back home. Raven, Echo, these are Magna and Yumiko. Also friends, but from around here."
The almost official way of introducing us tells me this Yumiko, probably together with everyone else, doesn't know about Luna's shared history with them, let alone with us.
When we all stand up, I do as I feel is expected: I play along. I shake hands and share polite smiles, while doing my very best not to show any recognition, curiosity and excitement. I'm feeling it though, with my pulse still racing and a huge smile trying to sneak onto my face. Standing eye to eye with my dear friend feels like a spacewalk!
"You followed us again?" Lexa asks them.
"Don't flatter yourself," Luna grins. "It wasn't till Miko needed her bow back that we noticed you were gone. That's why we started looking. For the bow, that is. But hey, it's always fun to find out how you're getting yourself in trouble again. Couldn't know you were having a little reunion here. What's going on?"
"They're here for me. I need to come home with them," Clarke tells her. "Won't be till tomorrow morning though. The sun is about to set. I'll ask Cyndie if they can stay for the night."
Yumiko squints her eyes. "Two more after the five of us?"
"It's just for one night," Clarke waves the issue away. "Besides, Cyndie seems to be walking on sunshine these last couple of days. I bet she can't even remember how to say no."
Easily convinced, Yumiko gives her a nod. "Alright, let's go then!"
Without further questions Echo and I quickly get our stuff from the car and follow the others into the woods. Wherever we're going, we do need a place to crash.
It doesn't take long before Echo and Yumiko are deeply engaged in some conversation about archery, with Echo gushing over Yumiko's bow. Clarke and Lexa are walking in front of them, leading the way, while I stay a bit behind, my leg not working with me the way I want to when we have to climb over some fallen trees.
"Hey there, stranger," Luna cheers in a soft, but exciting voice, as she suddenly pops up next to me. "Need a hand?"
She offers me her hand for support, which I gratefully accept. As soon as I'm over the barrier, I let go and show her a bright smile instead. "Thank you," I grin. Then, after a swift glance to the others, estimating the hearing distance, "I can't believe you're here!"
"Honestly? Me neither. Don't even ask me about it, cause I'm afraid I can't give you any answers," she sighs. I look at her as we keep following the others. Searching for... what exactly? Proof that it's her, or proof that it isn't?
"It's really you though, isn't it? Not some distant descendant?" I ask her at last.
"It's really me," Luna laughs. "But also really someone else."
"Magna," I state, showing her I actually paid some attention.
"Exactly," she grins. "So how about you? Is it really you?"
To my own surprise, I laugh full-heartedly. "Why wouldn't it be me?"
"I don't know. People change. Especially when life gets rough. Clarke told me some things. About Praimfaya destroying the world as predicted, and what happened after."
"She told you about me?"
Luna shakes her head. "Not a thing."
I wonder what she did tell her. I bet there are quite some different versions of the same story, depending on the narrator.
"Well, whatever she shared with you, she's been right about life not being easy on us. But yes, I do believe I'm still me. Despite the horrors. Or the fact that my brain got an actual upgrade - as you partly witnessed. But all of that only affected my head. In the end it's still the same heart I'm listening to."
"And such a heart you have," she smiles, and I don't feel any need to fight her on that.
Besides, we just reach a small beach that seems to be our destination. Clarke and Lexa both turn around. "You guys wait here. I go and try to get you in," Clarke says.
"You can go with her," Luna tells Lexa, "We'll stay here with them."
As the two of them wander towards what looks like a gate to some kind of camp or settlement, leaving us on this strip of sand, Yumiko turns towards Luna.
"Mind if we split for a bit? We wanna shoot some arrows over there, switch bows and all."
The moment Luna returns her smile, I spot a twinkle in her eyes I've never seen before. That's when I can finally pinpoint the difference I noticed, but couldn't define yet: the old Luna wasn't happy. This Luna is.
Unaware of my little epiphany, she still has her eyes on Yumiko. She grins from ear to ear. "As long as that's all you're switching..."
A wink. A laugh. A kiss.
There you have it. The source of said happiness. Go Luna!
We sit down next to each other in the sand and watch Yumiko and Echo exchange their gear, before giving each other instructions and making some shots about thirty feet away from us.
"So you found someone?" I break our surprisingly peaceful silence, nudging her shoulder with mine. I turn my head to look at her, witnessing the almost endearing smile on her face as she looks from her girl to me, then back to her girl.
"I'm afraid I did," she nods, a small chuckle falling from her lips. "Would've waited for you of course, had I known we'd meet again. Too late now. My heart is sold."
I snort and shake my head.
"Idiot," I hiccup, more sheepishly than intended. As I feel my cheeks turn red, I can only hope she thinks it's from laughing. She might be kidding, but they say there's a grain of truth in every joke, which in this case I think I can actually understand, maybe even relate to. Super brain or not, till this very day I've never been able to define that instant, almost spiritual connection between us.
"How 'bout you?" she pulls me out of my thoughts, "Anyone special?"
Just thinking of my man makes me beam. "I'd say so, yeah. His name is Shaw. He's a real good guy. From space... but even you would like him!"
She tilts her head. "Does he make you happy?"
It's the easiest question ever. "Yes," I nod with conviction, "he does."
"Good," she smiles, "Then I don't care where you found him."
We stay quiet for a bit, our eyes now on the horizon in front of us, with its pink and orange glow. I never hated space as much as the people around me did, but so far both planets I set foot on turned out to be even more magical.
A blissful sigh escapes my lips. "Seems like everything worked out, huh?"
"Sure does," she nods, smirking.
I shift in the sand, turning towards her.
"I'm really glad that it did. And that I got the chance to find out, before leaving again tomorrow. About you, I mean, and the fact that you're okay."
She doesn't say anything. She just watches me with a patient smile on her lips. Like she knows I'm not done yet.
"I never got the chance to tell you this, but I want you to know you meant a great deal to me," I go on. "And you still do."
"Ditto," she answers with a single nod, but that same calm smile. "It's too bad we're already parting again."
"It is. But to be honest, I don't think this is our final goodbye. I still have to give myself to the miracle of the sea, remember?" I lower my head, just a little bit, making sure to keep our eyes connected. "So I'd say, if we ever find ourselves on yet another planet, which I'm sure we do, let's meet again. After all..." I wink, "they do say three times is a charm!"
And with that the score on making each other blush is equal again.
... ...