Sadie's POV

As I stood, getting undressed for the evening in the upstairs bathroom, I could hear the cheerful rambling of Alex's small voice going on about his day to Gareth, as they came up the stairs and passed the bathroom to go to Alex's room.

I smiled to myself as I listened to him ramble about the ride up to Hilltop, about the animals at Hilltop, about Maggie….about baby Hershel.

...and the more I thought about that part of the trip, specifically, the more I started to get emotional about it all over again…

I started thinking about how good he was with him, even at how little he still is….and how things might've been with our little family if any of it had worked out for us before shit hit the fan.

Why hadn't it?

—

I'd become so lost in the idea of it that I was startled when Gareth, even with as gently as he had, knocked on the door.

—

I chuckled to myself and glanced over my shoulder at him after giving him the okay to come in and join me.

"Need a break?" I teased.

"Very funny." He chuckled, slipping his hands down to my waist as his head slipped over my shoulder. "Mmm as much as I love hearing about every detail of every animal he saw before you left Hilltop or how Mommy thinks aunt Maggie's baby has an old man's name…"

"Hey, she knows I was joking about that." I interjected. "...although I do stand by what I said."

"Anyway." He laughed. "...that being said he's just asking when Mommy's gonna come say Goodnight to him."

"Oh." I chuckled, slipping one of my sleep t shirts on over my bare chest. "Well, in that case, tell him I'll be right there."

"Already did." He chuckled. "Better not keep him waiting."

"You're such an asshole, you know that?" I teased.

"Yeah, the worst." He chuckled, sneaking a kiss on my neck. "Don't keep me waiting too long either."

I picked my jacket back up and smacked him playfully with it, just before he left.

"Ow, ow!" He laughed. "Alright. I'm going, I'm going. I'm gone."

I snickered to myself as I turned my head to watch him go, shaking my head to myself after he'd shut the door behind him.

After Alex was finally asleep, I quietly snuck back out and shut the door behind me to go meet Gareth back in our bedroom for the night.

—

—

"Hey, you." He greeted when I opened the door. "So, do. I get to hear about your day now?"

"As promised." I smiled back at him as I crossed the room to get to the bed, kissing him after I'd reached it and crawled my way across it to my spot beside him.

—

"It was nice, as usual. Felt good to really catch up with Maggie, after everything, you know?"

"Yeah, I'm sure….so, just like usual huh? She didn't mention anything about this big run she wants us for?"

"She got to you already?! I blurted out, probably sounding a little more shocked than I'd intended. "She told me she was just going to talk to Sasha about something when she left!"

"Not her." He chuckled. "Ahh, what's her name? …..Tara mentioned it when she was helping me out with your office earlier.

"Ohh...right."

"I don't think it was that deep, babe." He chuckled. "She probably just knew Tara was over and radioed her about it or something."

"No, I know…..I know. I didn't mean it like that, I just…" I shrugged.

"You just…..are thinking about the run, itself?" He guessed.

"Well….well, yeah I mean aren't you? Like…" I chuckled, a little more humorlessly. "...what, just because we wanted the same man dead and I wanted to help out someone who was nice to us, we're supposed to be all buddy-buddy with them now?"

"No, you're right. I did mention that to Tara when she was here."

"And….?"

"And….she seemed pretty understanding."

The way he said it felt like he was fibbing about her reaction to some degree, but I just let it slide anyway. It's not like it matters what any of them thinks anyway.

I just nodded. "Yeah, well, not that it's any of her business anyway…..and besides, what about….."

"...What about...what?" He finally asked when I didn't finish that sentence.

I sighed. "...I mean, what about us, Gar? ...I mean, the whole point of coming here was to try to assimilate some sense of normalcy, right? And especially now, now that Negan's dead and everything's finally settled with the saviors, and everyone else is getting on with their lives, they have to know that we expect to do that too, you know?"

"Of course I do, and you know I want that too." He reminded me sympathetically. "...and besides, since when do you care about what they think, anyway?" He sort of chuckled.

"I don't, it's just…" I sighed. letting my face sink into my pillow.

"It's just…". He repeated back with a soft, sympathetic chuckle as he lovingly stroked his hand across my shoulder. "...might this just have something to do with your little visit with Maggie and her kid?"

I lifted my face back up from the pillow, my head rested on top of my hands which laid across the pillow beneath me, to look back up at him.

I sighed. "It's….it's more than just that, it's just…" I sighed again. "I don't know I guess with everything settling down enough to think for more than two seconds, and seeing and seeing how much Alex really lit up with the baby just….got me thinking of how things could've been….before, you know?"

He smiled back at me again. "Yeah, I do…..and if I'm being totally honest here, I can't say I haven't been thinking the same…" He chuckled softly again. "..mostly when you make another mark on Alex's little measuring wall, the way my mom used to with me and, well, other Alex."

I smiled back at him. "I remember that."

"So….what are we saying, here?" He asked

"I don't know….what are we saying here?"

"I don't know, why don't you tell me?"

I chuckled. "...Well I was thinking about…..you know, how when we were talking about having kids before, before Alex, before….well everything….we were talking about more than one."

His smile got a little wider. "Is that what we're talking about now?"

"Yeah, I…" i chuckled nervously. "...i think we are…..i mean….the timing's certainly not bad, I'm not saying it'd be easy, but I am saying we have a chance at a fresh start here, things are….quite a bit more stable than when we had Alex…." I gave a little shrug of my shoulders. "...Why not?"

"You mean that? You...you wanna have another kid."

"I'm saying I at least wanna think about it…" I clarified. "..put it on the table, you know?"

He reached over and kissed me. "...it's on the table."

I smiled at that, just before letting out another sigh.

"So what should we do about that run?"