Bart and Frink's Almost Excellent Adventures IV Bart 2.0 Bart makes a computer virus in his image and it destroys everything. Also Rosie O'Donnell sings...
Plot
Frink's neighbourhood. Bart and Oscar are walking about.
Oscar is singing Man I feel like a woman by Shania Twain.
(Singing)
Bart groaned and wept into his palms embarrassed.
Balthazar, Frink's flying Monkey flew past.
Oscar got out his Mypod and played the flying monkeys theme. from The Wizard of Oz.
Bart sighed annoyed.
"I wonder where he's off to..." Oscar said about Balthazar.
"Probably trying to get away from you..." Bart sighed.
Oscar frowned at him.
"PLULAKUGFALO…" He rasped in gibberish.
Bart sighed and groaned rubbing his temples agitated.
Meanwhile The Super Friends nerds are getting extra tuition aka giving themselves extra homework, They are studying in the school library.
"Okay chums. Let us commence boning up on our physics!" said Martin.
"Myaaaaaaah! Yes on with the physics! There's a test next Tuesday." said Database having a verbal tic.
E-Mail, the ginger haired nerd bearing a great resemblance to Woody Allen was reading his physics text book.
"Now Gentlemen, we study the cosmos!" said Martin in a voice quite like Minnie Mouse's. "And we start-" He smelt a bad smell, the stench of rotten fish.
Hugo was eating hid fish heads from his fish head bucket.
"Hugo! Food is strictly forbidden from being consumed in the library!" Martin lectured Bart's crazed twin.
Hugo sighed and put his fish head bucket away.
"Now where was I..." said Martin flicking through his physics text book.
Heading towards Frink's lab, Bart and Oscar are still talking.
"I was just thinking, every day you wave that wand, and yet nothing magical ever happens." said Oscar pointing his magic wand from the Springwarts episodes at Bart's magic wand.
"Look I suck at magic just like I suck at No-maj school okay!" Bart sighed.
...
They come across Nelson who is at Frink's house and adjoining laboratory hurling eggs at a Delorean on Frink's drive.
"Have an omelette you stupid car!" Nelson yelled.
"Hey Nelson." said Bart.
"Hey Bart." said Nelson.
"Kallae Kistnaaaaaaaeeee..." Oscar rasped in gibberish. Bart elbowed him in the gut and frowned at him.
"What ya doin'" Bart asked offhandedly as he didn't mind Nelson causing trouble, unlike his bossy sister.
"Hurling eggs at this dork's car... Wanna join me?" Nelson asked.
"Well uh..." said Bart. A dream cloud appears. Marge is in the dream/thinking cloud.
"Bart! Don't you dare think about hurling eggs at Professor Frink's car!" Marge in his imagination yelled.
The cloud vanished. Bart gulped. "I better not..."
"Eh... suit yourself... More eggs for me!" said Nelson.
Oscar got out a frying pan, a portable stove and took an egg from Nelson's boxes of eggs. He cracked the egg into his frying pan and held it over the portable stove that was glowing with blue flames.
"Dweeb what are you doing?!" Nelson asked annoyed.
"Frying an egg... got any bacon?" Oscar asked.
"Hey! These are my hurling eggs! Get your own!" Nelson yelled.
Bart sighed exasperated by Oscar cooking on the street for some reason.
"Hey you! Glavin! Stop hurling those ovum of Gallus Gallus!" Frink came out yelling.
"Let's cheese it!" Nelson yelled as the three kids fled.
"Okay! Stilton or Gouda?" Oscar asked.
Bart groaned as he ran.
The hospital. A man is groaning.
"Ahehehehe! what seems to be the matter?" Dr Hibbert chuckled as he examined the man.
"I swallowed a frisbee..." said the man.
That's a really stupid thing to do...
...
Frink's lab
Bart is mopping the floor. He is annoyed to be assigned this task as possibly a punishment for some prank or so on...
"This bites... Why do I have to clean your lab?! Nelson's the one who egged your car!" Bart groaned.
"I tried to get Nelson to clean it up! But he is always with the kicking and the punching and oh god! The wedgies are chafing my buttocks!" Frink sighed.
"What's that do?" Oscar asked poking a Van de Graff generator.
"That-" Frink sighed. Oscar yelped as be got zapped. "That's a Van de Graff generator..."
"What's this button do?" Oscar asked. He switched off the lights plunging the laboratory into near darkness. With only faint light from computer monitors lighting the room.
"That's the light switch..." said Professor Frink.
Bart in the darkness sighed. Frink eventually turned the lights back on.
"Hyiven..." Frink sighed.
School. Martin is being geeky.
"You take the probability for human error, add general incompetence, divide by two... multiply according to technological advancement, carry the three, subtract pi..." He is writing a complex calculation on a chalkboard in the school library.
"I LIKE PI!" Teddy, Oscar's living teddy bear creature yelled.
Martin sighed rubbing his temples agitated.
"Ted seriously..." Hugo sighed.
Frink's lab.
"What's this do?" Oscar asked about to press a button.
"No!" Frink yelled.
A ray cannon zapped Oscar turning him back into a baby.
Oscar promptly soiled his diaper.
Frink sighed.
Bart grumbled while mopping up.
"Please Bart, we agreed on this comprise." said Frink.
"At least pay me!" Bart ranted.
"I'm sorry but my money in my research grant barely covers the cost of this mink coat and the diamond encrusted wind tunnel..." said Frink.
There was a diamond encrusted wind tunnel. Bart winced wondering why the professor wanted that built.
"That research grant is for funding research... not your wardrobe..." Oscar frowned. He was suddenly his normal age again.
"Now if you'll excuse me, um, I'm about to answer the question scientists have been pondering for years... can you still kick it old school in zero gees?" said Frink. Zero g force.
"That's the question scientists have been asking?!" Bart grimaced.
"I thought it was, Can jet fuel melt steel beams..." said Oscar.
"Uh... no..." said Frink as he left them to their own devices.
Bart winced at Oscar.
...
Frink was in his diamond encrusted wind tunnel.
"Mow he can't hear us, I say we skedaddle." said Bart.
Oscar nodded.
suddenly they pass a computer.
"Ooooooooh!" Bart sits at it. He gets into the computer easily. "And it's not password ptotected..."
"Go on porn..." said Oscar.
"Ugh... no Oz..." said Bart.
Wind tunnel.
"Kick it old school.. And what scientist wants to know that..." said a female computer voice.
"The one's that get science grants from Kid Rock..." said Frink.
"Kid Rock?! Didn't he go crazy slapping people in a a Waffle House?!" Oscar asked.
"How did you get in here?!" Frink asked.
"I am omnipresent..." said Oscar.
Frink sighed.
Back at Bart.
He is on the computer.
"Are you supposed to be playing on his computer?" Oscar asked.
"Are supposed to be pressing every button you find?!" Bart retorted.
"Ah, touché..." said Oscar.
"Now find something to play with..." said Bart as he played with the computer.
"Ugh no i don't want a timeshare on a condo..." Bart sighed as he browsed the internet.
School, Martin was being beaten up.
"Give us your lunch money dork!" Jimbo yelled.
"Please have mercy!" Martin cried.
"Only when you've scrubbed all the floors in Hyrule-" said King Harkinian.
"Narrator no! No Phillips CD-I memes..." Lisa groaned.
"My cat's name is Mittens..." said Ralph.
Lisa sighed.
Frink's lab.
Bart was still on Frink's computer.
"I wonder if Frink has any video games on this thing?" Bart pondered. He clicked on something.
"Brain scan complete." said a computerised voice.
"Brain scan eh? Must be like Bloodstorm!" said Bart.
"More like Bonestorm..." said Oscar wearing a salad colander gadget thing.
Bart sighed flustered.
...
In the wind tunnel.
Diamonds pinged off of the walls of the wind tunnel and flew at Frink.
"Ow! Glavin! Ah! How could this be worse..."
"Well..." said Zao from Die Another Day after getting diamonds embedded in his face...
"Oh Moyvin Voyvin!" Frink gasped.
Also being horribly disfigured by diamonds being embedded in your face is apparently sexy... According to People's Magazine...
In the lab.
"No I don't want 1000 free hours of AOL... stupid pop ups..." said Bart.
"I dreamt my Furby was trying to seduce me, by singing Madonna's Like a virgin..." said Oscar.
"Okay..." said Bart freaked out. "We threw out all our old Furbies after they went feral..."
"Oh yeah that was a laugh seeing Furbies growl..." Oscar chuckled.
Bart saw the helmet near the computer. "Hmmmmm... Virtual Bloodstorm..."
"Virtual Bonestorm..." Oscar corrected him.
"Shut up..." said Bart.
Oscar frowned.
School Library. Martin was studying.
A cartoon bookworm with glasses was reading a book. He had a husky voice. "I like looking up words in the dictionary!"
"Me too!" Martin smiled.
"Oh god! More nerds!" Nelson groaned. "I like to spit in the books that's why I am in here..."
Bart decided to wear the helmet that was wired up to the computer to play Virtual Bloodstorm.
"Virtual Bonestorm..." said Oscar.
"Oz we already did that scenario... You kept putting me in a diaper and had annoying cartoon slime monsters bothering me..." said Bart.
"Yeah that was funny..." Oscar chuckled.
Bart sighed. He put on the helmet.
"Oh no! Not the brain scan synaptic helmet!" Frink saw what Bart was doing.
Data was extracted from Bart or zapped into him.
"Wow! Feels like the entire Internet is being pumped into my head... Hmmmm sure are a lot of girls on this Internet..." said Bart.
Oscar moaned aroused.
Frink was trying to get out of the Wind Tunnel.
He got out to find Bart stunned and his brain um fried.
"What a rush!" Oscar quoted Jim Carey as The Riddler.
"Oh who are we to play Bill Gates!" Frink lamented heading over to them.
"Error! Error!" said the computer.
"Yes?" said Error from Zelda II on the NES.
"Glavin!" Frink made his weird noises again.
The computer exploded sending Bart flying, "Oof!"
"Bart! Are you alright?!" Frink asked.
"Cooooool! Let's do that again!" said Bart.
"No! You already blew up my computer and wrecked my Neils Bohr mouse pad!" said Frink.
He sent them home. Bart and Oscar were pushed out the laboratory hastily by the professor. Bart shrugged and walked Oscar home.
Plot 2
Meanwhile in the mainframe that every computer is wired up to...
A CGI Bart arrived.
"Cooooool man!" said the virtual Bart. Suddenly he frazzled and glitched out. He mutated into a monster...
The Bart Monster, hunched over with razor sharp claws and almost a foot in length fangs laughed evilly.
Frink sighed unaware of the virtual monster Bart created.
The Bart virus multiplied out of control... as computer viruses do...
The Mainframe, city.
Bob was on patrol. Ie in case Megabyte was up to no good again...
Several Bart monsters ran past laughing evilly. They wrecked the city and corrupted things with their malicious code.
The diner. Enzo is slurping a virtual soda.
"You know if we're gonna make computer term puns all the time, We should have a coffee bistro called Java. Hehehehe... Java..." said Enzo.
Dot sighed while cleaning the dishes.
Several Barts flooded in growling and uttering his inane catchphrases.
"Grrrrrrrr! Eat my shorts!"
"Ay Carumba!"
Enzo grimaced concerned.
MegaByte's Tor Fortress.
"Mwuhahahaha! And now for my latest evil plan for total domination of the Maiframe!" The cartoon supervillain gloated.
"Uh boss, looks like another virus is causing trouble already..." Hack explained.
The Mainframe was flooded with Bart Simpsons.
"Grrrrrrr! I wanted to corrupt the Mainframe!" Megabyte seethed thumping the computer terminal in his evil lair because he was so outraged another virus was causing trouble. "There won't be anything left to dominate and enslave!"
The Diner.
"Guys why are you messing with us?!" Enzo whined.
"No reason... Just fun to cause trouble..." said a copy of the Bart Simpson Virus.
A web portal opened. The Barts poured into it.
"Oh no! They're on the Web!" said Dot.
...
Springfield, Bart and Oscar head home.
"Oz why is there Reboot in this story..." Bart sighed.
"Because that's what the inside of the computer looks like..." said Oscar.
Bart sighed.
They go inside.
"Stated out of trouble I hope today, Bart..." said Marge.
"Yes Mom..." said Bart.
"Ballae Nic no Dallae!" Oscar yelled in gibberish.
"Mmmmm..." Marge sighed.
Elsewhere in Springfield.
The Bart Virus spreads and causes trouble...
The power plant. Homer passes a vending machine and is peckish.
"Ooooooooh! Mmmmmm... candy..."
He looks at the candy bars and packets of M&Ms etc in the machine.
"Choco-chocolate-choc-chip-fudge. Mmmmmmm... redundant..." Homer drooled.
He put his money in the machine.
A Bart virus that had infected the machine laughed maniacally. "Bwuhahahaha!"
"That's odd... I swear I heard this vending machine laugh..." said Homer.
Clunk! A candy bar fell out.
"Ooooooh!" Homer screamed. "Aaaaaah! A fruity diet cereal bar?! These shouldn't be allowed!"
"That's all ya getting, Fatso!" said the machine. It laughed.
Homer growled and shook the machine violently.
"Simpson stop fighting with the vending machine!" Smithers told him off.
Homer groaned.
Lenny was on his phone buying flower seeds.
"Stop buying stupid flowers!" said a Bart Virus in his phone.
"Gah! My phone is possesses!" said Lenny.
"Uh I think you mean infected..." said Carl.
The Mainframe.
"And then they all ran about, knocked over the paper towel dispenser and one of the yellow dudes gave me a wedgie..." said Enzo.
Bob sighed concerned by sightings of another troublesome virus.
...
"And the Bart virus multiplied at ab alarming rate..." said Frink.
"Yeah... um Viruses do that..." said Oscar.
Across the world.
An apartment in Japan.
A guy goes to the bathroom.
The toilet explodes as Water violently shoots upwards in a geyser.
The guy screams and flees back to his bedroom he shares with his wife.
The virus laughs from the speakers of any devices that have speakers.
Outside water pours out the windows of a sky scraper. Godzilla is baffled by this.
"He seems distracted by that flooded apartment block..." said a Japanese guy.
"Now if it could distract the other monsters..." said another.
Rodan was fighting Mothra.
Across to London.
"And you're shopping total costs today are ... one billion pounds?!" said the shopkeeper. "That is some expensive chocolate.
The customer looked concerned.
An apartment in Japan. Izzy and Tai are looking at Tai's computer. A virus was infecting it.
"Diaboromon?" Tia sighed.
"No worse... Bart Simpson..." said Izzy.
Tai grimaced.
France, Itchy and Scratchy Land.
The curators of the park fled as the Itchy and Scratchy robots chased them.
"Eat my shorts! Eat my shorts!" The robots repeated.
"Sacré bleu! If this place was full of customers we would be in serious trouble!" said the French curators.
"Mercy!" Another cried.
"Why are you saying thank you?" The first asked.
North Korea. Matt forgot to draw Kim Jong Il's glasses.
"I'm to scared to caricature him!" Matt yelled.
Oscar sighs and illustrates Kim Jong Il.
"Okay, let's try this peace thing to unify Korea..." Kim sighed.
"Yes sir, perhaps it is best." said his um "Smithers".
"Oh a message from South Korea!"
The message read... "Dear North Korea, YOU STINK! from South Korea."
Bart virus chuckled as he sent the message.
"What?! How dare they insult my body odour?!" Kim Jong Il yelled.
"I sir for one appreciate your perfume..." said Smithers.
"Now there can never be peace!"
Nice going Bart Virus.
...
Androids Dungeon.
Bart played on an arcade machine in the comic book store while drinking a Squishee.
"Damn dirty Radioactive Ape!" said Oscar browsing the Radioactive Ape comics.
Bart sighed exasperated.
Cellphones rang out with his distinct laughter as the viruses infected them.
Skinner was arrested.
"I keep telling you! I am not El Barto! I would never vandalise my own school!" Skinner protested.
"That's not what your criminal record on the database says..." said Wiggum arresting him.
The virus had infected the database.
Bart virus laughed evilly.
Back at Android's Dungeon
Comic Book Guy was in his office on his computer.
"Oooooooh! Liv Tyler from Lord of the Rings in a French Maid outfit..."
Eeeeeeeeeew! Perv...
However he got something else back...
"Gandalf in a speedo?! By the ring my eyes!" Comic Book Guy is disgusted.
Bart in the store front winced.
"Is there are manga in here..." Oscar browsed the comics.
"No... Comic Book Guy doesn't sell Manga..." said Bart.
Oscar pouted.
Nelson's house.
"Stupid slow computer Mom had to steal..." He sighed browsing something on a very old computer.
The Bart Virus sent him a rude message.
"U R DUMB."
"Stupid computer! I hate you!" Nelson yelled.
Mrs Muntz sighed.
The Mainframe, Ring token port.
The Rebbot characters and Digimon and Tron and Megaman Battle Network Megaman gathered.
"He said my robo suit looks stupid..." said Megaman from Battle Network, where he is an executable data file instead of a robot.
"He hijacked a Light Cycle..." said Tron.
"This is terrible!" said Bob.
"Yeah! I wanted to do all that!" Megabyte whined.
...
It was soon the apocalypse... again.
"Goodbye cruel world!" A guy was about to jump...
"No Jonathan! Don't!" said a woman.
The Mets finally won.
"On second thoughts! I don't wanna live in a world where the Mets win!" the lady cried as she jumped...
"It's Judgement Day!"
"It's the Apocalypse!" People lament.
"It's Raining Men!" Oscar yelled with glee.
Frink's Lab.
"But Mr Rock! The tests were inconclusive! I really need the funding to test the experiment in a solid gold wind tunnel!"
Um...
Waffle House, Atlanta. Kid Rock is brawling with someone.
"Brah... what are you going on about... And I am currently fighting some schmuck for some reason..." said Kid Rock.
"Let's waste this Beeeee-yaaaaatch!" said Joe C the midget.
Waffles were thrown about and bottles of syrup.
Frink in his lab sighed.
Then all Hell broke loose outside his lab.
"Great Glavin!"
Balthazar the flying monkey flew in screeching.
"No Balthazar! I am not going to the store to buy you some bananas!
Balthazar hooted annoyed.
"Oh my Goovin Foovin! A terrible computer virus! Bart must have caused this!" He noticed his computer was infected by Bart Simpsons.
Plot 3
Simpsons house.
"Mr Simpson! Mr Simpson!" Frink arrived.
"Ah an egg head. Can you help me with a Coaxial cable?!" Homer asked.
"Mr Simpson there's no time! The world id ending! North Korea is at war with South Korea!" said Professor Frink.
"Tell me about it! The candy machine called me fat and the soda machine told me to go home and install cable in Bart's Treehouse." said Homer.
Frink sighed.
"Is your wife home..." Frink sighed.
"Yep." said Homer.
Frink explained what happened.
"So my brother created a computer virus..." said Lisa.
"That's the gist of it..." said Frink.
"And it's out of control and has caused the end of the world as we know it..." Lisa sighed.
Frink sighed.
"Boy?! What Have I told you about dooming mankind?! Go to your room..." said Homer.
"Ah nuts! I'm not ready to die yet..." Oscar whined.
"And in other news, Rosie O'Donnell is singing again..." said Frink.
"Oh god no!" Homer screamed horrified.
"And Kid Tock is fighting in a Waffle House..." said Frink.
Oscar laughed.
"The end of the world eh? I noticed the sky looking rather red..." said Hugo.
"Yes and buildings on fire Hugh..." said Lisa.
Hugo started scratching himself because of fleas.
"This virus, can't it be reasoned with?" Lisa asked.
"No I tried and it destroyed my credit rating and legally changed my name to Rosie Buttcheeks..." said Frink.
Oscar screamed with laughter.
Bart chuckled.
Homer seethed.
"Well we need to do something..." said Lisa.
...
Outside. They get in Frink's car.
Frink's car drives itself into a ditch.
"The virus infects every machine professor..." said Hugo.
Frink sighed.
They walk.
Traffic lights fire lasers at them.
"Cooooool!" said Oscar.
"This reminds me of Treehouse of Horror X's third story..." said Hugo.
"I think that's implied given the rampaging computer Virus..." said Lisa.
"Imply or Implode..." said Homer.
"Dad enough..." Lisa groaned.
"What shall we call the virus?" Oscar asked.
"Bart 2.0." said Frink.
"No we are calling it Bart Jr. It's my virtual pet..." said Bart.
"Call it Sir Poopsalot Chesterfield esquire!" Oscar yelled.
"Uh... no..." said Bart.
Oscar frowned.
They travel about town.
Squeaky Voiced Teen was being strangled by a computer mouse.
Oscar laughed.
"Oz that is not funny..." said Hugo.
Lady Remington shavers zipped about mowing the town green.
The Duff Blimp's message lights read the word "Fart". In block capitals.
Oscar laughed.
Bart smirked.
Milhouse then fled an arcade. A light gun game was chasing him.
"Aaaaaaagh! help me!" Milhouse cried.
"Let's see how you like being the target!" Bart the virus laughed.
"This is dire! The virus is attacking Bart's friends. Something even Bart would never do!" said Lisa.
"Well actually... I sabotaged Milhouse's fanny pack today and..." said Bart.
There is an explosion.
"Ow! My fanny!" Milhouse cried.
Oscar laughed hysterically.
Bart sighed.
Milhouse is a girl now..." Oscar laughed.
"Oz... Fanny means butt in the States... Not Lady Parts..." said Bart.
...
Frink's lab.
They arrive bruised.
"Well, here at last..." said Frink.
"We would have arrived sooner had someone not taken us in the car wash..." said Bart glaring at Homer.
"But the sign said free beer... I'm only human..." Homer cried.
Bart sighed.
"I want to goof off with the Professor's things..." said Oscar.
"No! We need to wire Bart in to reason with the virus." said Frink.
Bart puts the helmet on. wires strangle Frink.
"Gack!"
"Yes I'll have my Gagh live and squirming please..." said Hugo.
"Hey there!" Bart talks to the virus.
"Hey cool dude. Who's there?" said the virus.
"Well I created you. I'm sorta your Dad." said Bart.
"Oh. Well you never called your dad, Dad. So we won't either, Bart." said the virus.
"That's my boy..." Bart smirked.
"Now what?" Lisa asked.
"Noe the virus is sending an army of Itchy and Scratchy robots to TP the UN building..." said Bart.
"I need TP for my Bunghole!" Oscar started talking like Cornholio.
"Uh..." Bart winced.
"Do you have TP for Cornholio?" Oscar asked.
"Oz stop..." Lisa groaned.
"Hey dude I like fun as much as the next cool dude, but what if it hurts people?" Bart asked the virus.
"FUJUUUUUUN!" The virus yelled.
Mudboy winced.
"That's it! How did your friends tame their mud thing?" Lisa asked Oscar.
"They made him a bossy older sister..." said Oscar.
"Or... A Mom anti virus!" said Lisa.
They plug Mom in instead.
An Antivirus resembling Marge is created. She is is telling Bart virus off.
"Now that's quite enough young man!" said the virtual Marge.
...
"Well that's the end of that chapter..." said Homer.
"Dad the world is ending..," said Bart.
"Look I want a happy ending!" said Homer.
The End.