A Real American Wiggle
A.N. This story was based on a Discord roleplay between me and BigMoose01, whose caricature from his debut Wiggles fanfic, "An Anniversary To Remember", makes an appearance in this story.
A.N.2. Recently, with encouragement from BigMoose01, I watched the whole G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero series, and boy, to say I liked it is an understatement. I enjoyed it just as much as the 80s Transformers cartoon. 20/10, would recommend.
A.N.3. This may as well be my longest oneshot ever, and I don't see myself writing another one this long in the future. Nevertheless, I hope you enjoy it.
One day at Wiggle House, Princess Grace, Jimmy Wiggle's wife, was coming into the room she shared with her husband with a basket of clean laundry. Just as she came into the room, her ears detected a strange racket that sounded like a mixture of scratching, humming, and crinkling, as if someone was rubbing cellophane against the wall.
"What in the world is that?" she thought out loud.
Grace then turned her head towards the open door.
"Jimmy!" she called. "Can you come here, please?"
Jimmy, who had been playing Transformers: Devastation on his Xbox 360 in the living room while Jeff slept in his Alarm Clock Chair, paused his game and went to see what his wife was calling him for.
"What is it, love?" Jimmy asked.
"Can you hear that?" Grace replied.
Jimmy cupped his ear with his hand and could clearly hear the same sounds Grace had heard.
"Yeah, I do." he said. "It sounds like it's coming from the wall."
Jimmy approached the wall, and as he did, the sound became louder. Putting his ear to the wall confirmed his suspicions.
"Yep, it's definitely the wall." he said. "Hey, Greg! Come here!"
Greg immediately came into the Green Wiggle's room.
"What's up, Jim?" Greg asked.
"Listen." said Jimmy. "This section of wall is making some funny noises."
Greg put his ear to the wall, and, just like Jimmy and Grace, was able to hear the sounds coming within clearly.
"You're right." said Greg. "Something must be back there, but what?"
"Well, there's only one way to find out." said Jimmy.
Jimmy then pulled a sledgehammer out of his pocket and swung it at the wall. That quickly turned out to be a big mistake, because just as the hammer broke a hole in the wall, a swarm of yellowjackets flew right out.
"OH, JEEZ!" shouted Jimmy. "YELLOWJACKETS!"
"HOW DID THEY GET IN THE WALL?!" cried Greg.
"I don't know, but we gotta get out of here!" Jimmy said as he scooped up Grace bridal style.
With that, Jimmy and Greg booked it towards the front door while Grace held onto her husband. Their quickened footsteps, along with the buzzing of the yellowjackets, alerted Murray, who was in his room putting new strings on his guitar. The Red Wiggle came out of his room to investigate.
"Jimmy? Greg? Grace?" he called. "What's going on?"
Just then, Murray saw the growing swarm of yellowjackets, and his eyes widened with fright.
"Never mind!" he gasped. "Wait for me!"
Murray then ran towards the door with the others. They were soon joined by Anthony, who was getting ready to prepare lunch in the kitchen, as it was his turn for Chef Duty at Wiggle House at the time, and Jeff, whom Greg woke up by sounding the alarm bells on the Purple Wiggle's chair. Soon, they all made it out of the house, slamming the door shut behind them.
"Phew!" Jimmy sighed as he set Grace down. "That was a close one."
"You said it." agreed Greg.
"Well, I certainly don't feel like cooking now." said Anthony. "In fact, I'm not going back into that kitchen until we get the place fumigated."
"But where are we going to stay while Wiggle House is being gassed with pesticides?" asked Jeff.
"I have no idea about that." shrugged Jimmy. "But I do have an idea for something else. Why don't we discuss this over lunch at Simon's?"
Everyone else had to agree, and soon, the group was discussing their problem over hamburgers, fries, and milkshakes at the counter inside Simon's Drive-In. Jimmy was on the phone with the Wiggles' manager, the Managerial Moose, whom he had asked if he and the other Wiggles, plus Grace, could stay at his home.
"Sorry, Jim, no can do." said Moose. "I have some friends from the university staying here for the weekend."
"Oh, okay." said Jimmy. "Thanks, anyway."
Jimmy then hung up.
"Bad news, guys." he said as he sipped his vanilla shake. "Moose isn't able to help us."
"Well, that's unfortunate." replied Greg.
"And Mom and Dad have the guest house booked for some of my other relatives who are visiting, so that's out of the question." added Grace.
"Hey, maybe Sam, Lachy, or Emma could help us." Murray suggested.
"Maybe." said Jimmy.
Jimmy then called the Wiggles' friends Sam, Lachy, and Emma, and he asked if either of them would be willing to let him and his comerades lodge with them, to which they all said they couldn't, as they all had things to do. After hanging up with Emma, Jimmy reported this to the others.
"That's just great." Greg sighed. "With Dorothy the Dinosaur on vacation and Captain Feathersword out on a treasure-hunting voyage with Wags and Henry, where else are we supposed to stay?"
"I guess there's only one thing to do." said Jimmy. "We'll have to stay at the Wiggle Town Hotel until the wasps are gone."
"Yeah, I guess that's all we can do." agreed Murray. "But who knows how long it will take the exterminator to get rid of the wasps?"
"Chins up, guys." Anthony chimed in. "Let's not give up just yet. Besides, there still might be someone who will be able to open their door to us."
"You're right, Anthony." Jimmy agreed with a nod. "But who?"
Just then, out of the corner of his eye, Jimmy spied two people, a man and a woman, entering the restaurant.
"Is that who I think it is?" the Green Wiggle asked himself.
Greg was quick to notice this.
"What's up, Jim?" the Yellow Wiggle asked. "You see something?"
"Not something, Greg." Jimmy replied. "Someone. Specifically, that looks like my friend Duke from my billiard league I go to every other Saturday."
"You don't mean the same Duke from G.I. Joe, do you?" asked Murray.
"The very same, Murray." nodded Jimmy. "And if I'm not mistaken, that's Scarlett with him."
Just then, Greg had an idea.
"Hey, maybe they can help us." he suggested.
"Good idea, Greg." said Jimmy. "Let's ask them."
Jimmy then turned to the two individuals, identified as First Sergeant Conrad S. Hauser and Sergeant Shana M. O'Hara, commonly known by their respective code names as Duke and Scarlett, members of the elite covert special operations force known as "G.I. Joe", and waved to them.
"Yo! Duke! Scarlett!" Jimmy called.
Duke and his companion heard the Green Wiggle calling them and began making their way over to him and his friends.
"Jimmy Wiggle." said Duke. "What a surprise to see you here."
"Right back at you." replied Jimmy. "You too, Scarlett."
"Hello, Jimmy." said Scarlett. "Nice to see you again."
"You too." said Jimmy.
"Dang, Jimmy, are you sure you only know these guys from a billiard league?" asked Jeff. "I mean, the way you know their names, it's almost as if you're one of them."
"Well, sometimes, Duke brings his fellow Joes to matches." Jimmy explained. "So I've gotten to know quite a few."
"That makes sense." said Anthony.
Jimmy then introduced Duke and Scarlett to his fellow Wiggles and his wife.
"It's nice to meet you all." said Duke.
"You too, sir." Grace replied.
Just then, Jimmy remembered the original topic of discussion.
"Say, Duke, there's something we need to ask you and Scarlett." he said.
"Sure." agreed Duke as he and Scarlett sat down next to the Wiggles. "What do you need?"
Jimmy then explained the situation about the yellowjacket invasion at Wiggle House. The two Joes grimaced as they listened to the story.
"Ooh, that sounds rough." said Duke. "You know, we had a situation like that once."
"Yeah, a colony of yellowjackets made a nest in one of the barracks." Scarlett explained. "Gave the Greenshirts in that barracks a real scare."
"Yikes." winced Jeff.
"Thankfully, Airtight took care of them." said Duke.
"And that brings us to what we want to ask you." said Jimmy. "Do you think you can help us find a place to stay while our home is being fumigated?"
"As a matter of fact, I think we can." nodded Duke. "Right, Scarlett?"
"Of course, Duke." said Scarlett. "Anything to help a friend."
The Wiggles all heaved a sigh of relief.
"Thanks, guys." said Jimmy. "You're lifesavers."
"We'll talk to our fellow Joes back at headquarters and see if any of them have any ideas." added Scarlett.
"Great." smiled Greg.
Before the conversation could continue, the Wiggles' friend Simon, who owned the restaurant that shared his name, came over to Duke and Scarlett.
"Excuse me." he said. "I don't mean to interrupt, but are you two ready to order?"
"I believe so." said Duke.
"Alright." Simon nodded as he got out his order pad. "What can I get you?"
Duke ordered a chili cheese dog with root beer and crinkle-cut fries and Scarlett ordered a BLT with waffle fries and a Coke Zero Sugar.
"I'll have your orders ready in a jiffy." said Simon.
"Thank you." said Duke as Simon went back to the kitchen.
"So, Duke, you really think you and your friends will be able to help us find a place to stay?" Grace then asked.
"Of course we can." Duke reassured the princess. "We've helped a lot of people out with this kind of stuff."
"Wow." said Grace. "And I always figured almost all your efforts would be focused on fighting those "Cobra" people."
"Actually, this does have to do with our ongoing struggle against Cobra." Scarlett pointed out.
"It does?" asked Murray. "How so?"
"You don't think they were the ones who put the yellowjackets' nest in our house, do you?" worried Jeff.
Nobody could help but chuckle at Jeff's comment.
"I was referring to us helping people find new homes." said Scarlett.
"Oh, right." chuckled Jeff. "Silly me."
"Besides, Jeff, why would Cobra go through so much trouble to put a yellowjacket nest in someone's house, ours in this case?" Jimmy then questioned. "They're terrorists, not practical jokers."
"Quite right, Jimmy." Duke agreed. "But like Scarlett was saying, we're used to helping people with situations like this. See, sometimes, Cobra's heinous plots to take over the world leave several people homeless, so whenever that happens, everyone in the G.I. Joe team, us included, does what they can to help them find new homes."
"Well, that makes sense." said Grace.
"So, yeah. If we can help victims of Cobra's schemes find new homes, then this shouldn't be any different." Duke went on.
"Awesome." said Anthony. "Thanks."
"But until then, you may want to consider checking into a hotel or something like that for the time being." Scarlett added. "Because we're not sure how long it will take us to find you guys a place."
"We've already got that covered." said Greg. "In fact, we decided on that before you two got here."
At that moment, Simon came out of the kitchen, holding two plates that had Duke and Scarlett's orders on them.
"Order up!" he said.
"Thanks." said Duke as Simon placed the plates on the counter.
"No problem." replied Simon, who then recognized the G.I. Joe logo on Duke and Scarlett's uniforms. "And, it might interest the both of you to know that we have a 75% discount for all active servicemen and veterans."
"Really?" asked Scarlett. "Wow."
"That's a deal to end all deals." Duke agreed. "Thanks a bunch."
"It's my pleasure." said Simon, who then did an army salute. "And thank you two for your service."
"Thanks for that, too." replied Scarlett. "We really appreciate it."
Simon just smiled and nodded as he went back to the kitchen. Soon, after both groups finished their meals, they paid their respective checks and left the restaurant.
"Like I said, me and Scarlett will head back to G.I. Joe Headquarters and speak to our comerades about finding you guys a place to stay." said Duke. "We'll call you if and when we do find something."
"Sounds great, Duke." said Jimmy. "See you soon."
"You too." replied Duke.
And with that, they got into their respective vehicles and drove their seperate ways. When the Wiggles arrived back at Wiggle House, Jimmy pulled six beekeeper suits out of his pocket, which he and the ithers quickly donned. Then, they ventured into the house and packed plenty of spare clothes and pajamas, as well as a few personal items and their toiletries. Then, they drove to the Wiggle Town Hotel, where they checked into a three-bedroom suite. The next morning found the group having breakfast in the hotel's dining room.
"I sure hope Duke and Scarlett were able to help us find a place to stay." said Jimmy as he ate a forkful of scrambled eggs.
"That makes six of us." agreed Greg.
At that moment, Jimmy's cell phone rang, and when he checked it, he saw Duke's name on the Caller ID.
"Jimmy Wiggle speaking." Jimmy greeted. "What's up, Duke?"
"Good news, Jimmy." Duke replied. "We found you guys a place to stay."
"Really?" asked Jimmy. "That's great! Where at?"
"You're not gonna believe this, but we managed to find you guys a place right here at G.I. Joe HQ." said Duke.
Jimmy was surprised to hear this, yet pleased all the same.
"Sounds great, Duke. I'll tell the others." he said.
"Great." said Duke. "Can't wait to see you."
"You too." Jimmy replied before saying goodbye and hanging up. "Well, guys, I've got great news. We're gonna be staying at G.I. Joe Headquarters."
His fellow Wiggles and wife were indeed pleased to hear this news. But then, Greg thought of something.
"How are we supposed to get there?" he asked. "We don't know the way."
"Hey, he's right." said Murray. "We've never been there before."
"I'm sure Duke will be able to help with that, too." Jimmy pointed out.
Right as the Green Wiggle said that, his phone dinged, and it turned out to be a text from Duke saying that he sent someone to pick the Wiggles up. After Jimmy relaid this late bit of information to his comerades, they finished their breakfasts, then checked out of their suite, got their things together, and went outside to wait for their ride.
"I wonder who Duke sent to pick us up." Murray wondered out loud.
Just then, a truck's horn sounded.
"Looks like we're about to find out." said Jimmy.
Soon, a G.I. Joe APC (short for "Amphibious Personell Carrier") pulled up. Once it stopped, the driver, G.I. Joe heavy weapons specialist Staff Sergeant Marvin F. Hinton, code-named "Roadblock", exited.
"Hey, Wiggles." he said. "Need a lift?"
"Oh, yes, please." Greg replied.
"Alrighty, then." said Roadblock. "All aboard!"
With that, Jimmy and the others, with some help from Roadblock, climbed into the back of the APC, and Roadbloack got back in the driver's seat.
"Next stop, G.I. Joe Headquarters!" he announced as he started the engine.
And with that, they were off. During the ride, Jeff decided to take his mid-morning nap. His comerades, on the other hand, were enjoying the ride.
"Man, this thing really moves!" said Greg.
Eventually, Roadblock arrived at G.I. Joe Headquarters and pulled into the motor pool, then stepped out of the driver's seat.
"Here we are." he said. "Everybody out."
As the Wiggles got their bags, Jimmy noticed Jeff was still asleep.
"We might have a problem, Roadblock." he said. "Jeff's still sleeping."
"Don't worry, I know just the thing to help with that." Roadblock replied.
"Oh?" asked Greg. "Do you?"
Roadblock nodded. He then proceeded to take out a bugle and play "Reville" on it, which woke Jeff up.
"PRIVATE JEFF WIGGLE REPORTING FOR DUTY, SIR!" Jeff shouted as he stood erect and did an army salute.
Jeff's reaction to the bugle caused Jimmy and the other Awake Wiggles to start belly-laughing.
"At ease, solider." a voice then said from outside the truck.
"Who said that?" asked Jeff as he and his friends exited the truck.
The Purple Wiggle's answer came soon enough, for as the group was exiting the truck, they saw Duke standing there. At his side was the commander of the G.I. Joe team, General Clayton M. Abernathy, code-named "Hawk", who turned out to be the one who issued Jeff the "at ease" command.
"Greetings, Wiggles." Hawk greeted. "And welcome to G.I. Joe Headquarters."
"Thank you, sir." Grace replied with a curtsey.
"Yes, thank you, General Hawk." Jimmy added.
"My pleasure." smiled Hawk as he shook hands with his guests.
"So, Jimmy, what do you think of G.I. Joe HQ?" Duke asked.
"It looks so much bigger in person." Jimmy replied.
"And I can't wait to see the inside." added Grace.
"Then allow us to give you a tour." offered Hawk.
The Wiggly Group agreed, and soon, Hawk and Duke were giving them a grand tour of G.I. Joe Headquarters, from the equipment hangar to the conference rooms and finally the sleeping quarters, where they showed the group a room that was set up with six beds total, three on one side and three on the other.
"And here is where you'll be staying." said Hawk. "I know it's not exactly like your bedrooms back at your old house, but it's the best we can do."
"It's perfect." said Jimmy. "Thanks, Hawk. You too, Duke."
"And if there's anything we can ever do to repay you for this favor, just name it and it's yours." Greg added.
"We appreciate that, Greg." said Hawk.
"Well, we're gonna let you guys get settled in now." put in Duke. "If there's anything else you need, let us know."
"Thanks, Duke." said Jimmy.
With that, Hawk and Duke left, and the Wiggles began unpacking their stuff. Aftewards, Jeff tested out the bed he had chosen to sleep in.
"Well, like Hawk said, it's not like our beds back at Wiggle House, but it's better than nothing." he said.
"And besides, the important thing is that we have a roof over our heads until the wasps are gone." said Grace.
"And that we're together." added Jimmy.
"Quite right, Jim." agreed Greg.
Just then, the sound of a bugle playing "Mess Call" came over the intercom, followed by Roadblock's voice.
"Come and get it!" Roadblock boomed.
"Looks like it's time for lunch." Jimmy said. "Come on, guys."
With that, Jimmy and his group left their room for the mess hall.
"I wonder what we're having for lunch." said Anthony.
"We'll never know unless we get to the mess hall." said Jimmy.
They soon arrived at the mess hall, and when they entered, they saw Duke with a tray of food.
"I see you guys are just in time for lunch." he said.
"That we are, Duke." said Jimmy. "So, what's on the menu?"
"Chicken and dumplings with green beans and carrots on the side." Duke replied. "And homemade whoopie pies for dessert."
"Sounds delicious." said Anthony with a generous rub of his stomach.
"Well, grab a tray and get in line." said Duke.
And so, the Wiggly Group got a tray and their food. They then proceeded to look for a seat.
"So, where should we sit?" asked Grace.
Duke, who had seen the Wiggly Group trying to find a seat from where he was sitting, came over.
"How would you guys like to sit with me and the other G.I. Joe commanders?" he asked.
"Really?" replied Jimmy. "We'd be honored."
"Great." said Duke. "Follow me."
Duke then led the Wiggly Group over to the table he was sitting at with Hawk and the other three G.I. Joe commanders; Chief Warrant Officer Dashiell R. Faireborn, code-named "Flint", Staff Sergeant Wayne R. Sneeden, code-named "Beach Head", and Gunnery Sergeant Robert Remus*, code-named "Sgt. Slaughter".
"Thanks for letting us sit with you guys." said Jimmy as he and his friends sat down.
"Anything for our special guests." replied Duke.
"So, you guys are the Wiggles, huh?" Sgt. Slaughter asked.
"That's right." nodded Jimmy.
"And I'm Princess Grace of the Taliton Kingdom." Grace added.
"A pleasure to meet you, Your Highness." said Sgt. Slaughter.
"Please, just call me "Grace"." giggled Grace.
"Oh." said Sgt. Slaughter. "Okay, then."
"Why would a princess prefer to be called by her actual name instead of "Your Highness" or "Your Majesty"?" asked Beach Head. "That just doesn't make any sense."
"At ease, Beach Head." said Hawk. "I'm sure there is a reason for that."
"There is." interjected Murray. "It's because Grace and her family aren't quite like your typical royal family in the sense that they consider themselves as normal as everyone else."
"Well, now it makes perfect sense." said Beach Head.
"And it's also a good trait for someone of their stature to have." added Flint.
"Say, that reminds me." put in Duke. "How did you meet Jimmy and his friends, Grace?"
"Brace yourself, Duke." said Jimmy, answering for his wife. "Because this is quite a story."
And so, the Wiggles told the G.I. Joe commanders all about the the time they mey Grace, from the initial purse thief chase to Jimmy's exposure of the plot to overthrow Grace's father, King John.
"Well, now." said Hawk as the story ended. "That is quite a tale indeed."
"Sure is." nodded Greg.
"Two young folks falling in love and getting married." Hawk went on. "It reminds me of when I met my wife."
"Oh, really?" asked Murray.
"Yes." replied Hawk. "But that's a story for another time."
"Ah, okay." said Jimmy.
"So, how are you Wiggles liking the food?" Flint then asked.
"It's delicious." said Greg. "In fact, it's probably the best chicken and dumplings I ever tasted."
"You have Roadblock to thank for making it taste this good." said Beach Head. "Not only does he come in handy with a heavy machine gun, but he's not too shabby with a spatula or a frying pan, either."
"As a matter of fact, his secondary MOS is being our cook." added Duke.
"In that case, my compliments to the chef." said Anthony. "Also, tell him that if he ever needs help in the kitchen, I'll be more than happy to oblige. After all, it was my turn for Chef Duty at Wiggle House."
"I'll be sure to pass the message along to him." said Hawk.
Next to talk was Grace.
"Say, Hawk, I had a question about the shooting range you showed us." she said. "Is there a certain time frame you Joes do your training? Or can it be accessed at any time?"
"Good question, Grace." said Hawk. "And to answer it, anyone is permitted to use the shooting range any time they choose."
"In that case, may I use it?" Grace asked. "My older brother, Prince David, Deputy Chief of the Royal Police back in my homeland, taught me how to shoot when I was younger, and I'd like to see if I've still got it."
"I don't see anything wrong with that." said Hawk. "Go ahead."
"Thanks, General." said Grace.
"But I better go with you, Grace." said Jimmy. "You know, in case someone tries to woo you."
"Husband's instincts." quipped Greg to Hawk.
Hawk nodded.
"I understand." the G.I. Joe commander said. "I sometimes get that way with my wife. When I'm on leave and she goes places, we have this pact where if some other man tries to win her affections, all she needs to do is call or text me and I'll drop everything and come to her aid, no matter what I'm doing."
"Wow." said Jeff. "You two sound like you have a great relationship."
"That we do, Jeff." said Hawk. "I love my wife, and she loves me."
"And let me tell you, Hawk, the world could sure benefit from having more husbands like you." put in Greg.
"You know, Flint gets defensive of Lady Jaye at times, too." said Beach Head.
"Does he?" asked Anthony.
"Yep." nodded Beach Head. "And they're not even married."
Flint was annoyed to hear this.
"Beach Head..." he scowled.
"What?" asked Beach Head. "It's true."
Flint just rolled his eyes. Soon, Jimmy and Grace finished eating.
"Where can we put our trays?" Grace asked.
"Just put them over there." Hawk replied as he pointed to a counter near the kitchen window.
"Okie-dokie." said Jimmy.
With that, Jimmy and Grace took their trays to the counter. Then, the husband and wife duo made their way to the shooting range, his hand in hers. They soon arrived, and were met by two other Joes; Gunnery Sergeant Wendell A. Metzger, code-named "Leatherneck", a Marine, and Petty Officer Second Class Brian M. Forrest, code-named "Wet-Suit", a Navy SEAL.
"Afternoon, gentlemen." Jimmy greeted.
The two Joes looked at their visitors.
"Hey, look, Leatherneck, it's Duke's billiard pal, Jimmy Wiggle." said Wet-Suit.
"And his wife, Princess Grace." added Leatherneck. "What brings you two here?"
"Well, I'm here to practice shooting." Grace replied.
"I'm just here to make sure nobody tries to make any moves on my woman." her husband added.
"Ah, I gotcha." said Wet-Suit before looking at Grace. "There's a box of shooting glasses over there."
"And an earplug dispenser next to it." said Leatherneck.
"Thanks, guys." said Grace.
Grace grabbed a pair of shooting glasses and placed some earplugs in her ears. Wet-Suit held out the rifle he was using to Grace, who took it, aimed at a target, and, once she felt she was ready to take the shot, squeezed the trigger. She, Jimmy, and the two Joes with them watched as the bullet plowed right into the bullseye of the target.
"Bullseye!" she cried.
Grace then shot at some more targets, hitting the bullseye on each one.
"Yep, I've still got it." she said.
"Good shooting, love." said Jimmy.
"Thank you, dear." replied Grace with a smile.
Leatherneck and Wet-Suit, on the other hand, said nothing. They just stood there, staring with their eyes and mouths wide open. All they could really do was nod in agreement. At that moment, Jimmy thought of something.
"Say, Grace, why don't we go see what the other guys are up to?" he asked.
"Good idea, Jim." his wife agreed as she took out her earplugs and shooting glasses.
And so, the Green Wiggle and his wife left the shooting range in search of the other Wiggles. Leatherneck and Wet-Suit watched them leave, still dumbfounded by what they saw.
"Dang, she's good." Leatherneck finally managed to say.
"I actually agree with you on this one." said Wet-Suit.
Meanwhile, Jimmy and Grace were walking down the hall, searching for their comerades.
"Greg?" Jimmy called. "Murray?"
"Jeff? Anthony?" added Grace. "Where are you guys?"
At that moment, they walked past Chief Warrant Officer CW-4 William S. Hardy, code-named "Wild Bill", who served the G.I. Joe team as a helicopter pilot.
"Well, howdy, folks." he greeted. "Is there something I can help you with?"
"Yes, sir." replied Grace. "Have you seen our friends Greg, Murray, Jeff, and Anthony by any chance?"
"As a matter of fact, I have." Wild Bill replied. "Last time I saw 'em, Duke an' Flint were takin' 'em to the rec room."
"Thanks, Wild Bill." said Jimmy.
"'Tweren't nothin'." smiled Wild Bill. "Just happy to help, is all."
With that squared away, Jimmy and Grace went on their way to the rec room. In the rec room, Greg and Murray were having an eight-ball match against Duke and Flint while Jeff took a nap on the sofa and Anthony sat in an armchair and read a book. For the eight-ball match, Greg and Murray were playing the solid balls and Duke and Flint were playing the striped balls. Greg took a shot at the "5" ball and watched as it rolled across the table and into a pocket.
"Boom!" he cried. "There it is!"
"Not bad, Greg." said Flint. "Not bad at all."
"Thanks, Flint." said Greg. "Okay, Murray, it's your turn to shoot."
Just as Murray was getting ready to take a shot at the "8" ball, Jimmy and Grace entered.
"There you two are." said Duke. "How was the shooting range?"
"You should've seen it, Duke." Jimmy replied. "She got a bullseye on every target."
"Yep." nodded Grace. "Seems I've still got it after all this time."
"Wow." said Duke. "I'm impressed."
"Me too." agreed Flint. "You're probably on the same tier as some of the other Joes."
"You think so?" asked Grace.
"Sure." said Duke. "We've got plenty of guys who are great with a rifle."
"Nice." said Grace. "But you may want to pay attention to what's happening right now on the pool table."
"What do you mean?" asked Flint.
Right as Flint said that, Murray fired the cue ball at the "8" ball, and dropped it into the pocket.
"Ha!" the Red Wiggle cheered.
"Dang it." said Duke. "You're better at this game than I first thought."
"How about a rematch?" asked Greg.
"Perhaps another time." Flint politely denied. "For right now, Duke and I have to return to our duties."
"Sure." said Greg. "See you later."
With that, Duke and Flint left the rec room.
"So, this is the rec room, huh?" Jimmy thought out loud as he and Grace looked around.
As Jimmy was saying that, Chief Petty Officer Hector X. Delgado, code-named "Shipwreck", a sailor for the G.I. Joe team, entered the room, and he overheard Jimmy.
"It sure is." said Shipwreck.
"Shipwreck, I presume." greeted Jimmy.
"The one and only." Shipwreck nodded.
"So nice to meet you at last." Jimmy then said as he held out his hand.
"You too." replied Shipwreck as he shoot Jimmy's hand. "I've heard quite a bit about you guys from the orphans at the Sunnydale Orphanage."
"Oh, yeah." Grace put in. "I heard that you entertained the kids with a story while your fellow Joes were rebuilding that orphanage."
"Yep." said Shipwreck. "And defeated Cobra while I was at it."
"Say, how did you come up with that story, anyway?" Anthony then asked.
"I couldn't really think of a good children's story, so I just made it up as I went along." Shipwreck explained.
"Oh, I see." said Grace.
"Did the kids still like it, though?" asked Murray.
"Well, some of them made some comments about certain parts of the story not making sense, but they still enjoyed it, anyway." said Shipwreck.
"And that's all that matters, really." said Greg. "Not everything about a story has to make sense all the time."
"That's right." agreed Murray.
"Say, Shipwreck, how about a round or two of nine-ball?" asked Greg.
Just then, an alarm went off.
"Maybe later." said Shipwreck. "Right now, it seems like something's up."
With that, Shipwreck raced out of the rec room. Jeff, on the other hand, heard the alarm and woke up with a start.
"What the...?!" the Purple Wiggle gasped. "Where's the fire?!"
"I don't think it's a fire, Jeff." said Murray.
"Yeah." agreed Jimmy. "If me being friends with Duke is anything to go on, it's probably something far worse than a fire. Come on, let's go see what's up."
With that, the Wiggles left the rec room, and soon found the Joes inside the garage getting into a wide assortment of vehicles as Hawk, Duke, Flint, Beach Head, and Sgt. Slaughter watched on.
"Hawk!" Jimmy called as he and his group raced over to the G.I. Joe commander.
"Ah, Jimmy." said Hawk. "I see you and your friends heard our alarm."
"Yeah, I'll say we did." huffed Jeff as he crossed his arms.
"I do apologize your sleep got disturbed, Jeff." Hawk confessed. "Anywho, allow me to fill you in on the situation. Mainframe, our computer expert, picked up word of a Cobra attack."
"I figured that's what was up." said Jimmy.
"We're deploying every Joe we've got for this mission." Hawk went on.
"This, of course, means the base will be left unguarded." Duke put in.
"Don't worry, we can stay behind and watch over things." Jimmy offered. "Besides, seeing as we're only civilians and not official G.I. Joe team members, this logically leaves us as the only ones who are able to keep an eye on things here while you guys are fighting Cobra."
"I'm not too sure about that." said Beach Head. "You guys have little to no knowledge of what Cobra is really like. I'll order a squad of Greenshirts to stay behind with you."
"At ease, Beach Head." Flint commanded. "I think we should give them a chance."
"Flint's right." agreed Sgt. Slaughter. "Besides, who knows? They might actually be able to hold their own."
"I'm all for that." said Duke. "Plus, I trust Jimmy."
"Then so be it." Hawk nodded.
"Oh, alright." conceded Beach Head.
Hawk then looked at the Wiggles.
"Okay, Wiggles, here are your boundaries." he began. "For the most part, you are free to access areas such as the rec room, the mess hall, the shooting range, and the training area any time you choose. However, any and all areas marked "Authorized Personnel Only" are off limits. Although, I don't believe that will be a problem with you."
"No, sir." laughed Jimmy.
"And don't worry, we'll make sure you guys come back to find this place still standing." added Murray.
"And even if we do end up causing any type of damage, just send us the bill." continued Anthony.
"Got it." nodded Hawk.
"Also, if things start to look too rough for you Wiggles, don't be afraid to send us a distress signal." said Sgt. Slaughter.
"Sir, yes, sir!" the Wiggles chorused.
"Good." said Sgt. Slaughter.
"Well, we better get going now." said Hawk as he and the other commanders boarded a nearby helicopter piloted by Wild Bill. "Alright, people, let's move out! Yo Joe!"
"Yo Joe!" repeated Duke, Flint, Beach Head, and Sgt. Slaughter as the helicopter took off.
"Well, there they go." said Jimmy as he and his group watched the Joes fly off to battle. "Off to save the world from Cobra once again."
"So...what now?" asked Greg.
"How about we head back to the rec room and watch a movie?" Murray suggested.
"Sounds good to me." said Jimmy. "But remember, guys. We need to be on alert, in case any bad guys do break into Joe Headquarters."
"Right, Jim." nodded Greg.
"Alright, Wiggles, back inside!" Jimmy then said.
With that, Jimmy led his group back into G.I. Joe Headquarters, unaware that from a distance, they were being watched by a group of mercenaries known as the Dreadnoks, a militarized biker group affiliated with Cobra led by an individual named Zartan, a master spy, assassin, and master of disguise. The group's other members included Zartan's younger twin siblings; brother Zandar and sister Zarana, and thugs Buzzer, Ripper, Torch, Monkeywrench, and Thrasher. The group was currently stationed on a hill away from G.I. Joe Headquarters, which Zandar was looking at through a pair of binoculars.
"There it is, brother." Zandar said. "G.I. Joe Headquarters."
"Excellent work, Zandar." said Zartan. "If the rumors about the Princess of the Taliton Kingdom staying with G.I. Joe are true, then we may have struck a golden opportunity."
"Yeah, that wimpy king and queen will pay a fortune to get their sweet daughter back." saud Buzzer.
"And once they do, we'll be set for the rest of our lives." added Ripper.
"And we won't have to work for that faceless freakshow Cobra Commander anymore." continued Monkeywrench.
"Who knows?" Torch thought out loud. "Maybe we Dreadnoks will end up being the ruthless terrorist organization determined to rule the word while Cobra becomes the lowly band of mercenaries.
"Now wouldn't that be something?" finished Thrasher. "Us giving out the orders instead of Cobra."
"Well, nothing like that will ever happen if we don't kidnap the princess first." Zarana pointed out.
"Zarana's right." said Zartan. "We best get a move on if we are to succeed."
With that, Zartan began leading the Dreadnoks towards G.I. Joe Headquarters. Inside, while Anthony was in the kitchen rounding up some snacks, Jimmy and the other Wiggles were browsing through Netflix in search of a movie to watch.
"So, what do you guys wanna watch?" asked Jimmy.
"How about that Munsters movie that came out last year?" asked Greg.
"Why not?" shrugged Jimmy.
Jimmy soon found the movie in question, and just as he was about to start it, Anthony came into the room pushing a cart that was loaded with a bowl of popcorn, a bowl of fruit salad, a 2-liter bottle of Minute Maid lemonade, five plastic cups, and five paper bowls.
"Just in time, Anthony." said Jimmy. "The show is about to begin."
"Sounds great." said Anthony as he set the goodies on the coffee table. "What are we watching?"
"The Munsters movie." replied Jimmy.
"Awesome." said Anthony. "By the way, as I was leaving the kitchen, I found this tacked to the bulletin board in the mess hall."
Anthony handed Jimmy a sheet of paper that turned out to be a flyer for a picnic event the Joes were hosting, and it advised anyone to see Hawk, Duke, Flint, Beach Head, or Sgt. Slaughter if they had any questions.
"Hey, I don't know about you guys, but I think we may have our ticket to repaying the Joes for letting us stay here." said Jimmy.
Jimmy's fellow Wiggles voiced their agreement, and once Anthony was seated, Jimmy started the movie. Outside, Buzzer, Ripper and Torch were up on the roof of G.I. Joe Headquarters, and Buzzer was using his diamond-toothed chainsaw to cut an entry hole.
"Good on ya for disablin' the security system, Ripper." said Torch.
"Hey, who knew it would be so easy?" asked Ripper. "I mean, for America's daring, highly-trained special mission force, you'd think they'd have something like that much more advanced in terms of wiring."
Soon, Buzzer was finished cutting the hole. However, before the three Dreadnoks could have a chance to remove the segment of roof they had cut, it dropped like a stone and to the floor with a loud clang, which the Wiggles could hear all the way from the rec room.
"Hey, what was that?" asked Jeff.
"I'm not sure." said Jimmy as he paused the movie. "We should probably check it out."
The others agreed, and they all rose from their seats and left the room. Meanwhile, Buzzer, Ripper, and Torch were sneaking down the hallway, having simply jumped through the hole Buzzer had cut.
"She's around here somewhere, lads." said Ripper. "Keep quiet."
"Just think what'll happen if we find that princess." said Torch. "Zartan will be so proud of us."
"Yeah." agreed Buzzer. "Hey, maybe we could even turn on him and ransom her ourselves. Then we'll get all the money to ourselves."
"Oh, yes!" nodded Torch. "And maybe we could take over the Dreadnoks, with me acting as our unquestioned leader."
"Says you." huffed Buzzer.
"That's right, says me." grinned Torch.
"And what makes you think that I can't be leader, eh?" Buzzer then asked.
"Because you don't have the brains for the job." teased Torch.
Buzzer was very annoyed at this.
"Don't have brains, do I?" he growled. "I'll show you!"
With that, Buzzer and Torch started brawling. Ripper was having none of that, and he attempted to break the two up.
"Hey, cut it out, will ya?" he snapped. "Do you want someone to hear us?"
The only response Ripper got was a punch from Buzzer, which caused the former to fall to the floor.
"Okay, that does it!" Ripper growled.
And with that, Ripper joined the brawl. Elsewhere, the Wiggles were making their way down the hall, and could hear the ruckus from the brawling Dreadnoks.
"Listen." Jimmy commanded as he cupped his hand with his ear. "It sounds like a fight."
"Hey, I hear it, too." said Greg.
"Me three." added Murray. "It's coming from that way."
The group then began making their way towards the sound. Elsewhere, in their part of the hall, the Dreadnoks heard the Wiggles approaching.
"Oh, great." groaned Torch.
"Someone's coming!" said Buzzer. "What are we gonna do?"
"We gotta get out of here and fast!" decided Ripper.
The three Dreadnoks got up and tried to make a run for it, only to run into each other instead.
"Oof!" cried Buzzer.
"Ouch!" shouted Ripper.
"I'll be feeling this one in the morning." said Torch.
At that moment, who should arrive on the scene but the Wiggles?
"Hey!" Jimmy shouted.
Buzzer, Ripper, and Torch turned around and saw the Wiggles staring at them with stern faces.
"Uh-oh..." gulped Torch.
"Who are you?" asked Greg. "And what do you want?"
"Us?" asked Buzzer. "Well, you see...we're...uh..."
"We're the new recruits for G.I. Joe." said Ripper.
"Yeah, that's it." Buzzer grinned nervously.
Needless to say, the Wiggles were not buying this.
"Uh-huh..." said Murray.
"And we're The Cockroaches." added Jeff.
"No, really." said Torch. "We're transfer members from the Australian Army."
"Well, those two are." Buzzer pointed out. "I'm from the British Army."
"Funny, Duke never told us about any new recruits coming today." said Anthony.
"Yeah, well, you see..." Torch began.
But Torch couldn't think of anything else to say.
"Oh, forget it." he said.
Torch then took out his flamethrower while Ripper took out his blade-tipped rifle and Buzzer his chainsaw.
"Whoa, whoa, hold it, guys." said Jimmy. "Let's just talk about this. There's no need for violence."
"Quite right, my good man." said a voice. "There is no need for violence at all."
The voice belonged to Zartan, who was come up behind the group with Zarana, Zandar, Monkeywrench, and Thrasher, all of them brandishing their weapons.
"Don't move, Wiggles." he ordered. "Raise your hands."
The Wiggles complied.
"What do we do, Jim?" Greg whispered.
"We do that he says for right now." Jimmy whispered back. "Then, when I give the word, we rush 'em."
Greg gave Jimmy an "OK" sign with his right hand.
"Oi!" Zarana snapped as she aimed her rifle at the Yellow and Green Wiggles. "What are you blokes whispering about?"
"Look, lady, we don't want too much trouble from you and your friends." said Jimmy. "Just tell us what you want and we'll give it to you."
"Though, I should warn you that my father is a very powerful man." Grace added. "If you so much as lay just one finger on me, he'll make you wish you were never born."
"I wouldn't be too sure about that." said Zarana.
"Indeed." said Zartan. "Once he sees that we've taken you hostage, I'm certain he'll pay almost anything to get you back safely."
"Typical..." Grace thought to herself.
"And as for the rest of you, just leave is with the princess and nobody gets hurt." said Zandar.
"And what if we don't?" asked Jeff.
"You get hurt." Thrasher chuckled evilly as he held up his spiked lacrosse stick. "And then some."
"As if I had to ask..." Jeff gulped.
Jimmy exchanged a wink with Grace, then they both looked at Zartan.
"Okay, Zartan." said Jimmy. "You want the princess? She's all yours."
"Excellent." smiled Zartan. "I was hoping you'd see it my way."
"I wasn't." grunted Monkeywrench. "It means we don't get to mess up these bozos."
"Quiet, Monkeywrench." said Zartan.
Grace then began making her way towards the Dreadnoks with her hands still raised.
"That's it." said Zartan. "Now, just come with us."
Zartan then looked at the Wiggles.
"And whatever you do, don't even think about following us." he ordered.
"I wouldn't dream of it." said Jimmy.
"Good." nodded Zartan. "Come along, then, Your Highness. We have much to do."
"Your wish is my command, sir." agreed Grace.
"Right this way." said Zartan.
Zartan and his gang then began leading Grace away. This was the opportunity Jimmy had been waiting for.
"Okay, Wiggles, it's Go Time!" he said.
"Charge!" all the Wiggles shouted as they charged at the Dreadnoks.
Needless to say, this caught the Dreadnoks completely off guard.
"What?!" gasped Zartan.
Anthony ran right up to Zartan and plowed into him like a football player, causing the Dreadnok leader to come crashing down.
"That's it!" snarled Zartan. "Dreadnoks, attack!"
With that, the Dreadnoks charged at the Wiggles with their weapons drawn. Buzzer ran up to Jimmy, only to be met with a well-aimed punch by the Green Wiggle, which sent him falling backwards onto the floor as Jeff took Torch out by head-butting him in the stomach. That move sent Torch flying into Zarana, knocking both of them to the ground.
"Hey, watch it!" she snapped.
Meanwhile, Anthony, who was sitting on Zartan's back tokeep him on the ground, had pulled up his (Zartan's) leg and was twisting his ankle.
"Say "uncle" or I'll shove your boot in between your butt-cheeks!" he barked.
"Uncle!" Zartan cried. "Uncle!"
Upon hearing that, Anthony let go of Zartan's leg and put his knee on the latter's spine.
"I didn't even know you had an uncle." he said smugly.
Zartan just rolled his eyes and crossed his arms on the floor. As for Murray, he was duking it out with Monkeywrench, and the Red Wiggle slugged Monkeywrench so hard that he ended up shattering Monkeywrench's sunglasses as his opponent tumbled down.
"Gee, I sure hope those weren't prescription lenses." Murray grimaced.
Grace, meanwhile, was fighting Ripper, who swing his rifle's blade at her, but she ducked.
"Hey, didn't your mother ever tell you not to play with knives?" she asked.
Ripper just growled as he got ready to take another swing, only for the princess to kick him in the knee.
"Yow!" Ripper cried as he dropped his rifle.
Jimmy then took a boomerang out of his pocket and threw it at Ripper, who ducked.
"Ha!" laughed Ripper. "You missed me!"
Jimmy then saw the boomerang turning around mid-flight and flying back towards Ripper's head.
"Think again, bucko." said Jimmy.
A confused Ripper turned around, only to be hit in the face by the boomerang, and falling down as a result, much to the Green Wiggle's amusement.
"Stupid Dreadnok." he chuckled.
Just then, Jimmy felt something hit him in the face and knock his glasses off. That turned out to be a punch from Zandar, who watched with glee as Jimmy got down on his hands and knees and began probing around for his glasses.
"Aw, poor Jimmy Wiggle." he taunted. "he can't see anything without his glasses."
Grace, on the other hand, was furious as she watched Zandar bully Jimmy like this.
"Hey!" she snapped. "That's my husband you're picking on!"
"So what?" scoffed Zandar. "What are you gonna do about it?"
In response, Grace raised Ripper's rifle and aimed it at Zandar's head.
"I do know how to use this thing, you know." she said coldly.
Zandar went pale upon hearing this. Jimmy, after locating his glasses and putting them back on, used this to his advantage, and he delivered a karate chop to the back of Zandar's neck, causing him to fall.
"Seven down, one more to go." said Jimmy.
That "one more to go" was Thrasher, who was battling Greg. Thrasher swung his lacrosse stick at the Yellow Wiggle, who ducked.
"I'll get you, you yellow-belly!" said Thrasher.
"Just because I wear a yellow shirt, that doesn't mean I'm a coward." said Greg.
"Well, when I'm done with you, that shirt of yours won't be yellow anymore." Thrasher went on. "It'll be red from all your blood!"
"We'll see about that." replied Greg.
Greg then saw Buzzer's chainsaw on the ground and made a dive for it.
"Oh no, you don't!" said Thrasher as he made another attempt to attack Greg.
Luckily, Greg managed to grab Buzzer's chainsaw just in time and, after shutting his eyes tight, used it to cut Thrasher's lacrosse stick in half. Thrasher just stood there in shock as he looked at the two halves of his weapon.
"Now, where were we?" asked Greg. "Oh, that's right. You were surrendering."
Thrasher just dropped his broken lacrosse stick and threw up his hands.
"Good choice, sir." said Greg.
The other Wiggles then collected the other Dreadnoks' weapons.
"Okay, Zartan, we've played your game." said Jimmy. "Now, it's time for you to play ours."
"I must say, I'm impressed." said Zartan as Anthony pulled him to his feet. "For a group of children's entertainers, your performance was pretty good. You actually managed to defeat us. Not too many people who aren't part of G.I. Joe can accomplish such a thing."
"Why, thank you." said Jimmy. "Alright, for this game, you and your friends will need to do exactly as we say."
"Very well." agreed Zartan. "What would you have us do?"
"First, put your hands on your heads." Jimmy instructed.
The Dreadnoks did as they were told. Then, they were led outside G.I. Joe Headquarters, where they were then told to sit down in a circle. Then, once their prisoners were seated on the ground, Jimmy took some rope out of his pocket and the Wiggles tied the Dreadnoks together, making sure the knot was secure.
"Do you really expect these ropes to hold us?" asked Zartan.
"At least until Duke and the other Joes arrive, yes." replied Jimmy.
"Besides, we have all your weapons." added Murray. "So, really, what more can you do?"
"Think again." sneered Zartan. "You colorful fools failed to confiscate our secret weapons."
Zartan then used a knife he had managed to grab hold of to cut the ropes, thus freeing himself and his gang.
"Ah, nuts..." grumbled Jimmy. "I should have anticipated that."
"Monkeywrench, now!" ordered Zartan.
Monkeywrench set a timer on a bomb and dropped it, causing the Wiggles a great deal of fright.
"Well, it's been fun, but we really must be going." said Zartan. "So long, Wiggles."
The bomb, which turned out to be nothing more than a smoke bomb, then detonated, covering the Wiggles and their surroundings in a thick cloud of black smoke and causing them to cough. The smoke eventually dissipated, and once it was gone, the Wiggles noticed that Zartan and the Dreadnoks were nowhere to be seen.
"Rats!" growled Murray. "They got away!"
"And we were so close, too!" added Jeff.
Just then, Greg spotted the Joes approaching in their vehicles.
"Well, that's good news, at least." he said.
Eventually, the Joes arrived, and Hawk, Duke, Flint, Beach Head, and Sgt. Slaughter jumped out of the helicopter they had ridden into battle, as did Wild Bill, and while Wild Bill went back inside with the other Joes, the G.I. Joe commanders approached the Wiggles.
"Well, as you can see, we're back." said Duke.
"Welcome back, Duke." said Jimmy. "And now that you are, we've got good news and bad news."
"Let's hear the good news first." said Flint.
"The good news is that the Dreadnoks did actually break into the base." Jimmy began. "They almost made off with Grace, but we managed to get the drop on them and defeat them."
The G.I. Joe commanders, needless to say, were very surprised to hear this, especially Beach Head.
"Well, blow me down." he said. "I guess I might have misjudged you Wiggles at first."
"Hey, don't sweat it, Beach Head." said Anthony.
"Well, we've heard the good news." Hawk put in. "Now, what about the bad news?"
"The bad news, as you probably guessed already, is that the Dreadnoks managed to slip through our fingers at the very last minute." said Jimmy. "We're really sorry about that."
"Don't worry about it, Jimmy." said Flint. "Besides, whenever usually when we battle Cobra, the more notable members manage to escape our grasp."
"That's right." added Duke. "In fact, we almost had Cobra Commander himself in this latest battle, but he and his buddies got away."
"Figures." said Jimmy.
"But don't you worry, Wiggles." said Beach Head. "Next time we fight those Dreadnoks, we'll make sure we give them an extra hard beating just for you guys."
"Thanks, Beach Head." said Jimmy.
"You know, now that I think about it, I did actually take this." said Jeff.
Jeff then showed the group a photo he took of the tied-up Dreadnoks.
"Nice job, Jeff." said Murray. "We may not have had total victory over the Dreadnoks, but at least we have something to help us remember our achievement. And maybe we could have two copies of it made; one for us and one for the Joes."
"I like your thinking, Murray." said Hawk. "After all, it only makes sense for you Wiggles to have a momento of your triumph. And we'll be sure to find a special place for our copy here."
"Thanks, General." said Jeff. "So, what do we do now?"
"Well, that battle with Cobra sure has gotten an appetite worked up." said Hawk. "And I'm sure you can say the same about your skirmish with the Dreadnoks."
Right as Hawk said that, Anthony's stomach roared like a lion.
"You're right about that, General." the Blue Wiggle chuckled. "Say, I got an idea. How about I cook dinner?"
"Be my guest." agreed Hawk. "What have you got in mind?"
"I'm keeping that under wraps for now." said Anthony. "But I can promise you'll like it."
"Yeah, sometimes when it's Anthony's turn to cook back home, he does this thing called the "Chef Anthony Surprise"." Jimmy said to Duke.
"Sounds cool." said Duke. "I can't wait to see what he has in store for us."
"And Roadblock, if you want to help, by all means." Anthony then offered.
"Thanks, but no thanks." said Roadblock. "I kinda wanna see what the master can do on his own. But maybe another time, alright?"
"Fine by me." nodded Anthony. "Prepare to be amazed."
"You got it, my man." winked Roadblock.
Soon, the other Wiggles, plus the Joes, were all seated in the mess hall, waiting for Anthony's surprise meal. Jimmy, Greg, Murray, Jeff, and Grace were even seated at the same table they had eaten at with Duke and the other G.I. Joe commanders earlier that day.
"I wonder what the Chef Anthony Surprise for tonight is." Jimmy thought out loud.
"Knowing Anthony, I bet it's something scrumptious." added Greg.
"I speak for all the Joes when I say that we've tasted Roadblock's cooking, but this time, we're really in for a treat." said Duke.
"I'll say we are." agreed Flint.
At that moment, Anthony, wearing a white chef's hat and apron, came out of the kitchen, pushing a cart that had a cloche on it.
"Ladies and gentlemen, dinner is served!" he announced.
"So, Anthony, what's the Chef Anthony Surprise for tonight?" asked Greg.
"I'm so glad you asked." said Anthony. "Tonight's Chef Anthony Surprise is..."
Anthony then lifted the cloche to reveal what he had cooked.
"Duck à l'orange." he said. "With steamed asparagus and oven-roasted potato wedges."
"Sounds good to me." said Flint.
Anthony then carefully picked up a carving knife and fork and handed them to Hawk.
"General Hawk, would you like to do the honors of carving the bird?" he asked.
"It would be my pleasure, Anthony." said Hawk.
With that, Hawk began carving up the duck, and everyone got a piece of it, along with their portions of the potato wedges and asparagus. Jimmy then whispered something to Hawk, who nodded.
"Go ahead, Jimmy." he said.
"Thank you." replied Jimmy.
Jimmy then stood up and whistled to get everyone's attention.
"Okay, everyone, before we start eating, I'd like to say a word of prayer, so I need everyone to bow their heads." he announced.
Everyone did exactly that, and Jimmy started to pray.
"Heavenly Father, thank you for this meal that you have provided for us to eat this evening." he began. "Bless the hands that made it and bless the food to the nourishment of our bodies. And most importantly, bless everyone in the G.I. Joe team for their kindness in letting us Wiggles stay here at their base until we can return to our true home, Wiggle House. All of this we ask in the name of your Son Jesus, amen."
"Amen." everyone else repeated.
"Alright, people, let's dig in!" Sgt. Slaughter then said as Jimmy sat back down.
Soon, everyone was enjoying the delicious dinner Anthony had prepared.
"So, what does everyone think?" Anthony asked.
"This is amazing, Anthony." praised Duke.
"Yeah, you really knocked it out of the park." added Flint. "This is probably the best duck I've ever tasted."
All the other Joes voiced their enjoyment of Anthony's cooking.
"Glad to hear it." smiled Anthony. "And be sure to save room for the dessert I made in advance while waiting for the duck to cook."
"And what might that be?" asked Scarlett.
"That's another Chef Anthony Surprise." winked Anthony.
"Well, if this dinner is anything to go on, then dessert is truly bound to be just as good." said Hawk as he ate some potato wedges.
"Yeah, I'll be honest." said Jimmy. "Me, Greg, Murray, Jeff, and Grace are pretty great cooks, but I think Anthony is the best cook out of all of us."
"He sure is proving it tonight." said Roadblock. "Cooking with the Blue Wiggle will definitely be a delight."
"Anthony's even won prizes at the Wiggle Town Fair for his cooking." Greg then said.
"Has he now?" asked Hawk.
"That's right." nodded Anthony. "I've also thought of starting up my own cooking show."
"Well, if you do, I'll be sure to watch it." said Roadblock. "Who knows? I might learn a thing or two."
Just then, Anthony remembered something, and, after exchanging a nod with his fellow Wiggles, he looked at Hawk.
"Say, Hawk, there's something we want to ask you." Anthony said.
"Sure, Anthony." replied Hawk. "What's on your mind?"
"It's about this." said Anthony.
Anthony showed Hawk the flier for the picnic he had found earlier, and Hawk looked it over.
"We've been wondering if you guys thought of entertainment for it of some more." Jimmy said.
"Actually, yes, we have." Duke replied, answering for his superior. "On our way back to headquarters, we decided to ask if you guys would be interested in doing a show at the picnic."
"We'd love to." smiled Jimmy. "After all, we were thinking this could be our way of repaying you Joes for letting us stay here."
"Then it's settled." declared Hawk. "We look forward to your performance, Wiggles."
"Thanks, General." said Jeff.
Soon, everyone was finished eating, and Anthony stood back up.
"Okay, who's ready for the Chef Anthony Dessert Surprise?" he asked.
All the Joes announced they were, so Anthony left, and soon came back with another cloche on the same cart he had used to serve the duck.
"Here it is!" he said.
"And exactly is "it"?" asked Flint.
"Instead of telling you, I'll show you." said Anthony.
Anthony then lifted up the cloche to reveal a birthday cake pie.
"Holy stars and stripes!" gasped Hawk. "That looks delicious."
"I'll say." agreed Jimmy.
Anthony then picked up a cake knife and began cutting the pie and serving it up. It wasn't long before everyone was enjoying the scrumptious dessert.
"You've done it again, Anthony." said Duke. "This pie is absolutely scrumptious."
"You bet it is, Duke." agreed Beach Head. "This tastes like something straight out of Heaven."
"I'll have to send the recipe to Aunt Sarah." said Roadblock.
"In that case, I'll be sure to get a copy for you." said Anthony.
"Thanks, man." replied Roadblock.
"You know, I will admit that it is nice to have you Wiggles here at G.I. Joe headquarters." Hawk then said.
"Really?" asked Greg.
"It sure is." nodded Hawk.
"And I speak for all of us when I saw we're looking forward to more good times with you guys." said Duke.
"So are we, Duke." said Jimmy. "So are we."
A few days later, the Wiggles were back in the rec room. At least, Jimmy, Greg, Murray, Jeff, and Grace were. Anthony was in the kitchen with Roadblock. In the rec room, Murray and Greg were having another eight-ball match against Duke and Flint while Jimmy played Battleship with Shipwreck. Grace, on the other hand, was engaged in a game of Go Fish against Scarlett and the two other female Joes; Corporal Alison R. Hart-Burnett, code-named "Lady Jaye", and Specialist Courtney A. Krieger, code-named "Cover Girl". Jeff, being Jeff, was sleeping on the couch again. At the pool table, Greg and Murray were playing the striped balls and Duke and Flint the solid balls. Greg aimed his cue at the "13" ball and fired, and while that ball did go into a pocket, the cue ball ended up falling into another.
"Darn it!" grumbled Greg. "I scratched it*!"
"My, my, Greg." Duke teased. "You don't seem to be losing your streak already."
"Oh, yeah?" scoffed Greg, playing along with Duke's teasing. "Well, surely you and Flint can't do any better."
"We'll be the judge of that." said Duke, taking aim at the "7" ball.
Duke then shot the cue ball at the "7" ball, and watched as it dropped into a pocket. He then took a shot at the "2" ball, but that didn't go in. This meant it was Murray's turn to shoot, so he aimed the cue ball at the "15" ball, and when he shot, he watched as the "15" ball struck the "14" ball, which went into a pocket, followed immediately by the "15" ball, which fell into the same pocket.
"What were you saying about our streak, Duke?" the Red Wiggle asked smugly.
"Hmm, not bad." said Duke. "But don't start celebrating just yet. Flint and I only have two balls left on the table."
Grace looked over at the scene of the pool table with the Girl Joes.
"Men." she sighed with amusement. "Am I right?"
"Tell me about it." said Lady Jaye.
"At least you don't have to put up as much of them as we do." added Scarlett.
"Yeah, true." giggled Grace.
"But I guess it's not all that bad." shrugged Cover Girl. "I mean, to tell you the truth, there really is never a dull moment around here with them."
"I can pretty much say the same thing." said Grace. "By the way, Lady Jaye, do you have any tens?"
"Go Fish." denied Lady Jaye.
With that, Grace drew a card. Back at the Battleship game, it was Jimmy's turn.
"B-5." he said.
"Hit!" gasped Shipwreck.
Jimmy put a red peg on the "B-5" square on the upper grid of his board, and he quickly noticed that one more hit on Shipwreck's side and the Green Wiggle would be the victor.
"B-4." Jimmy said.
Shipwreck, knowing he had just been defeated, buried his face in his hands in embarassment.
"You win..." he conceded.
Jimmy grinned triumphantly as he placed a red peg on the "B-4" square.
"I guess that's why they call you "Shipwreck"." he chuckled.
Shipwreck was not amused by this at all.
"Very funny, Greenie..." he muttered.
Just then, Jimmy heard his cell phone ringing, and when he answered, he discovered the caller was the exterminator whom the Wiggles had hired to take care of the yellowjackets. After a short conversation, Jimmy hung up.
"Well, guys, I've got some great news." he said.
"What's up, Jim?" asked Greg.
"That was the exterminator on the phone." replied Jimmy. "The yellowjackets are gone!"
Greg, Murray, and Grace all rejoiced upon hearing this news. At that moment, Anthony entered with Roadblock, the former carrying a plate of Crunchy Munchy Honey Cakes. They had heard the commotion from the hallway.
"What's all the excitement about?" asked Anthony.
Greg excitedly relaid the news to Anthony, who contributed to the celebration by offering the snack he and Roadblock had made to the others present in the room, an offer that was greatly accepted.
"Man, these are just as good as that pie you made earlier in the week, Anthony." said Duke.
"Thank you." said Anthony.
Just then, Anthony noticed that Jeff was still asleep.
"Guys, we have a problem." he said. "Jeff's still sleeping."
"I guess we better wake him up." said Jimmy before turning to Duke. "You guys wanna help?"
"Sure, Jim." nodded Duke. "What do we need to do?"
"First, I'll count to three." said Jimmy. "Then, we'll all yell "Wake up, Jeff!"."
"That's it?" asked Flint.
"Yes, Flint." nodded Jimmy.
"Then let's do it." said Duke.
"Alrighty." said Jimmy. "Here we go. One, two, three!"
"WAKE UP, JEFF!" everyone shouted.
Upon hearing those three little words, the Purple Wiggle woke up.
"What did I miss?" Jeff asked.
"You missed Jimmy's big announcement." said Shipwreck.
"The wasps are gone, Jeff!" Jimmy said. "We're going home!"
"Oh boy!" Jeff grinned.
"And that, in turn, means you Wiggles won't be needing to stay here any longer." Flint pointed out.
"Nope." said Jimmy.
"Don't get us wrong, we did enjoy staying here, but it sure will be nice to be back home at Wiggle House." added Greg.
"Don't worry, we understand." said Flint.
"Yeah." agreed Scarlett. "Us Joes feel that way sometimes with our hometowns."
"Especially Hawk." said Lady Jaye. "Whenever he goes home on leave, we always see him in such a good mood."
"Yes, sir, there really is no better feeling than that of going home." added Duke.
Everyone had to agree.
"Come on, Wiggles." said Jimmy. "Let's get ready to leave."
With that, the Wiggles left the rec room. Once they were out the door, Duke turned to his comerades.
"Okay, Shipwreck." he began. "You, Roadblock, and Flint go get Hawk and tell him to meet us in the conference room."
"What for?" asked Shipwreck.
"We're going to give the Wiggles a send-off they'll never forget." replied Duke.
"I like the sound of that." said Lady Jaye.
"Consider it done, Duke." nodded Flint.
"Great." said Duke. "Jimmy and the others have no idea what we have in store for them."
Later, the Wiggles were in their room packing the last of their things into their bags.
"Well, that's everything." said Jimmy as they finished packing.
Just then, there was a knock at the door.
"Come in!" said Greg.
The door opened and in walked the G.I. Joe team's commando, an individual known only by his codename "Snake Eyes".
"Oh, hey, Snake Eyes." Jimmy greeted. "What's up?"
Snake Eyes, since he was incapable of speech, simply made some signs with his hands that told the Wiggles he wanted them to follow him.
"What's he saying?" Jeff puzzled out loud.
"He wants us to follow him." said Jimmy. "Come on."
With that, the Wiggles followed Snake Eyes out of the room, and eventually reached the mess hall. The Wiggles were confused about where Snake Eyes had taken them.
"The mess hall?" asked Murray. "But we just had lunch."
Snake Eyes opened the door to the mess hall and pointed inward.
"I guess he wants us to go inside." shrugged Jimmy.
The Wiggles entered the mess hall, followed closely by Snake Eyes, who closed the door behind them. It didn't take the Wiggles long to notice that the room was pitch black.
"Hey, what's going on here?" asked Greg.
"Yeah, who turned out the lights?" added Murray.
Right as that question left the Red Wiggle's mouth, the lights came on, and all the Joes jumped out.
"SURPRISE!" they shouted.
The Wiggles, needless to say, were indeed surprised about this.
"Whoa!" gasped Jimmy.
Hawk then walked up to the Wiggles.
"Hello, Wiggles." he greeted with a friendly smile. "Glad you could join us."
"Uh...we're glad too, I guess." said Greg.
The Wiggles then noticed that the mess hall had been decorated for a party of some kind. Balloons and streamers in each of the Wiggles' signature colors had been put up everywhere, along with a banner that said "So Long, Wiggles!" in all-caps lettering, each letter painted in one of the Wiggles' signature colors according to this pattern; green for Jimmy, yellow for Greg, red for Murray, purple for Jeff, and blue for Anthony. There was also a pink heart on each side of the wording, obviously representing Grace. There were also some tables decked out with trays of finger foods.
"What the heck is all this for?" asked Murray.
"I can answer that." said Duke. "Since you guys are moving back to your place, we thought we'd throw a little something together for you before you left."
"Aw, how nice." smiled Grace.
"Okay, Roadblock, bring it in!" Flint then said.
Roadblock then came in, wheeling a huge rectangular cake that was coated with white icing with pink rosette borders on the top and bottom edges and "Thanks For Staying, Wiggles!" in pink icing. As Jimmy laid his eyes on the cake, his tongue dropped out of his smiling mouth, and images of the cake danced in his pupils.
"Cake..." he moaned happily.
"Yeah, Jimmy's a bit of a sucker for cake." Greg told Duke.
"So I see." said Duke.
"And you Wiggles ain't seen nothing yet." Roadblock then said. "Feast your eyes on this."
Roadblock then cut a piece of the cake and showed it to the Wiggles, who were able to see that there were five layers in the cake, one each in one of the Wiggles' colors; green for Jimmy, yellow for Greg, red for Murray, purple for Jeff, and blue for Anthony, and in between each layer was strawberry icing.
"Well, that makes perfect sense." said Murray.
"Making this cake was no easy feat, but it sure was worth it to give you Wiggles one last treat." said Roadblock.
"Man, Roadblock, you sure are good at rhyming." said Greg.
"Thanks, Greg." said Roadblock. "I like to bust a good rhyme whenever I think it's the right time."
"You know, you should think about taking up poetry." said Murray. "I mean, the way you come up with all those rhymes, you must might make a good poet."
"Thanks for the idea, Murray." said Roadblock. "I'll keep an open mind to it. For right now, let's dig in!"
With that, everyone got a piece of cake and began eating it, along with all the other party food.
"Boy, this is a great cake, Roadblock." said Jimmy.
"Glad you like it." said Roadblock.
"It's our way of saying thanks for spending the past few days here with us." added Hawk.
"It was actually Duke's idea." continued Beach Head.
"Was it now?" asked Jeff.
"It sure was." said Duke. "We really enjoyed having you guys here with us."
"Hey, thanks for having us." said Jimmy as he and his friends shook hands with Duke.
Just then, Flint came over, carrying a stack of six shirt boxes, each one wrapped in wrapping paper that matched each of the Wiggles' colos.
"And here is a gift from us Joes to you Wiggles." he said.
Each Wiggle took a box from the stack.
"Can we open them now?" asked Grace.
"You sure can." said Flint.
the Wiggles opened their gifts, and found that each of them had received an M-1965 field jacket in each of the Wiggles' colors with a patch in the form of the G.I. Joe logo on the sleeves and their names above the right breast pocket. Obviously, while Jimmy, Greg, Murray, Jeff, and Anthony's jackets were men's-style, Grace's was a women's-style.
"Wow." gasped Grace. "These look awesome!"
"Well, what are you waiting for?" asked Duke. "Try them on!"
The Wiggles did, and found they were a perfect fit.
"Boy, these are sure gonna come in handy when it starts getting chilly." said Greg. "Thanks, Joes."
"No problem." replied Hawk.
"And, hey, if any of you happen to be in the neighborhood, feel free to stop by our place." Jimmy offered.
"We just might take you up on that." agreed Lady Jaye.
Later, it was time for the Wiggles to go home, so they loaded their bags and themselves on the same APC that Roadblock had used to bring them to G.I. Joe Headquarters, and all the Joes had gathered together to see the Wiggles off.
"So long, Wiggles." said Hawk. "Until we meet again."
"Right back at you, Hawk." replied Jimmy as he and the others saluted the Joes.
The Joes saluted back. Then, Roadblock climbed into the cab and started the engine.
"Yo Joe!" the Joes resounded as the APC rolled away.
"Yo Joe!" replied the Wiggles.
Soon, the APC was rolling down the road back to Wiggle House, eventually arriving.
"Here we are, Wiggles." said Roadblock as the truck came to a stop. "Home sweet home."
"Thanks for the ride, Roadblock." said Jimmy as he and his fellow Wiggles disembarked.
The Wiggles said goodbye to Roadblock as he pulled away, then stepped into Wiggle House for the first time in days.
"Man, it feels so good to be home." Jimmy sighed happily.
"Yeah." agreed Jeff. "I'll get to sleep in my own bed and in my chair."
The Wiggles all voiced their pleasure to be back home at Wiggle House, which they celebrated by going out for pizza. A few days after the Wiggles' return to Wiggle House, it was the day of the picnic, which was being held at a park not too far from Joe Headquarters. Hawk was standing on a stage addressing the crowd that had gathered.
"Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen." said Hawk. "And welcome to this year's annual Get To Know G.I. Joe Picnic. This year, we have a very special treat for you, especially for the children. We have booked a performance by a group a lot of you may be familiar with. So, without further ado, ladies and gentlemen, allow me to present The Wiggles!"
The people, especially the children, cheered as the Wiggles walked up onto the stage.
"Hello, everyone." Jimmy said. "We're the Wiggles. Before we begin our show, I'd just like to take a moment to thank the members of G.I. Joe for not only allowing us to perform here today, but also for opening the doors of their headquarters to us during a time of need. Ladies and gentlemen, let's make some noise for G.I. Joe!"
With that, the Wiggles and the crowd erupted in cheers and applause for G.I. Joe before Jimmy called for quiet.
"And now, we're gonna start off our show with a new song we picked specially for this occasion." he said. "Hit it, boys!"
With that, the Wiggles began singing the theme song for G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero, with everyone clapping along. As the afternoon went on, the Wiggles felt ever grateful to G.I. Joe for giving them shelter while their home was being liberated from a yellowjacket invasion.
The End
A.N.4. I had Sgt. Slaugher's real name be "Robert Remus" because that's the real name of the wrestler whom he is based on and even voiced by.
A.N.5. In cue sports terminology, "scratching" is the term used to describe the pocketing of the cue ball.