WHAT KIND OF DARK MAGIC FUCKERY IS THIS?! TWO CHAPTERS IN ONE DAY? To be fair, I've got the creative juices flowing.
Shh, don't question it, just enjoy the story!
TQ out!
Meeting a Dragon
I'm not going to lie, I was terrified when I saw the dragon. Dragon Handler had told me to wear the dragonhide robes before entering the enclosure and I hastily changed in front of her watchful eye. I'd never actually seen one in person before, and I'm sure as hell not going to go hunting them for trophies or some such shit. This particular dragon was a Swedish Short Snout, a young one at that. Its scales were still a brilliant sky blue and its claws were relatively short. The dragon was about the size of a small house. When it caught sight of us, its eyes widened.
"Stay right here, boy." Dragon Handler instructed.
"Ok." I nodded.
I watched as Dragon Handler slowly made her way towards the dragon. My breath hitched as the dragon let out a warning growl, smoke coming from its nostrils.
"Easy." Dragon Handler soothed, "It's ok. I'm not going to hurt you. See?"
I let out a soft gasp as Dragon Handler began to scratch the dragon under the chin, causing the beast to purr and nuzzle the woman affectionately.
"See? I'm your friend." Dragon Handler said, "That's a good girl."
"Wow." I breathed.
"You see this, boy?" Dragon Handler called, "This is how you tame a dragon. You show it love and kindness, and they'll be like putty in your hands. Just watch."
The dragon's eyes flicked over to me and its pupils widened, and it began to growl again. Dragon Handler immediately held up a finger.
"Ah, ah, ah, no growling. Bad girl." Dragon Handler scolded, "This is my apprentice. He's gonna be working with me and you need to get used to him. Understand?"
The dragon stopped growling and stared at me, its eyes unblinking. I was suddenly struck by the realization that I was staring into the eyes of a very powerful beast. The thought was enough to make me want to turn tail and run. Or shit myself... whichever came first, really. But I stood my ground and stared right back at the creature.
"See?" Dragon Handler grinned, "I knew you'd be a natural at this. Just give me a moment."
Dragon Handler pulled out a wand and tapped her temple, causing a set of glasses to materialize over her eyes.
"Hmmm, looks like our friend here is sick." She noted idly, continuing the gentle scratches under its chin.
"What?!"
"Don't worry, it's not contagious."
"Oh. Well, what's wrong with it?"
"It has a mild case of a parasitic infection. A few potions should cure her up in no time."
"And that's good, right?"
"Well, yeah."
"Then what are we waiting for?"
"You're not a healer, boy. You bloody well don't even have your NEWTs done!" She pointed out tartly.
"Hey, don't look at me! You were the one that took me out of Hogwarts all sack-o'-taters style." I pointed out bluntly, scowling at her now.
Dragon Handler merely smirked at my words.
"Fair point." she admitted, "Now come on, let's get started."
With a final pat on the dragon's snout, Dragon Handler got up and began to walk towards a shed not too far away from where we were.
"Where are you going?" I asked.
"To get the potions. You stay here with the dragon."
"Why?"
"Because she's your responsibility. And besides, I don't need any distractions. Dragon Handling is dangerous business and very hands on. The program Charlie Weasley has created will see you acquire your NEWT results without having to continue your education at Hogwarts based on an agreement between himself and Headmistress McGonagall."
"I still can't believe that she went and hired you." I said incredulously, "And then Charlie Weasley had his say. Now here I am, an uneducated 16-year-old boy who's supposed to handle a bloody dragon!"
"Well, she didn't really have much of a choice." Dragon Handler shrugged, "Charlie insisted. Besides, it's not that bad. I was 16 when I got started. Most Dragon Handlers since Charlie start out this way. It builds character and it allows for you to be immersed in an environment that will teach you how to handle yourself from a very young age."
"Yeah, but still."
"Besides, it's not like you have much of a choice now. If you were any other boy, you'd be in the program, period. But, since you're my apprentice, it's not so bad. You can be a part of the program without actually taking the program."
"I guess."
"Besides, you get to hang out with dragons and not have to pay an arm and a leg for the privilege. And hey. The program costs about that much."
"About how much?"
"An arm and a leg!" She replied, grinning wide, as if she'd cracked the funniest joke in the world. I rolled my eyes. This would be a long year.
"Now, remember. Don't move. Stay calm and don't startle the dragon."
"Yes ma'am."
"Good. Don't go anywhere. I'll be right back." And with that, she entered the shed and shut the door, leaving me with a rather irate juvenile Swedish Short Snout.
"Hey, little fella." I called, "Come on, big ... boy? girl? You're ok."
The dragon snorted and glared at me, smoke curling from her nostrils. I gulped.
"Easy. Easy." I said, holding out my hand, "See? I'm not going to hurt you. Come here. I'm friendly."
The dragon tilted its head and sniffed at my hand, and I took a step closer. Then it sneezed. I yelped and jumped back immediately, barely missing the gout of flames that spewed out of its nostrils.
"Oops." I squeaked.
The dragon looked at me and growled.
"Sorry!" I yelped, "It was an accident!"
The dragon narrowed its eyes and then did the most unpredictable thing it could think of, because of course it did. It licked my face. Imagine an enormous slimy, pink, wet thing. Like a dog's tongue, but giant. Actually no, wait scratch that! Imagine fucking Clifford licking you. That's what it was like. Ew. Ugh. Gross. I was absolutely covered in Dragon spit.
"UGH!" I grimaced, "You're disgusting! I can't believe you did that!"
The dragon snorted and began to nuzzle me, pushing me down.
"Hey, cut it out! What the hell?" I muttered, wiping the spittle off my face.
Then the dragon made a high-pitched sound that sounded remarkably like a whine.
"Aw, what's the matter, you big scaly baby?" I cooed, rubbing its chin, "You like the cuddles, huh? You like being scratched? Who's a good dragon? Yes, you are. Yes, you are. Who's a good scaly baby? Yes, you are."
"That's adorable."
I turned my head and saw Dragon Handler watching me with a smile on her face.
"Yeah." I shrugged, "I guess she's kind of cute."
"Careful." Dragon Handler pointed out. "Dragon spit is flammable."
"Huh."
"And it's also poisonous."
"Oh. Ew."
"And highly corrosive."
"Double ew."
"So, yeah. Don't let her lick you again. It's probably best that you stay away from her drool. Just in case."
"Well, no shit. What else is flammable?"
"Your clothes, your skin, the shed, the ground, you name it."
"So, what happens if the shed catches on fire?"
"Nothing."
"What?"
"The shed is warded."
"Warded?"
"Yeah. The wards around the shed protect the contents within. It's kind of like a giant Portkey."
"I didn't know wards could do that."
"There's a lot of things you don't know."
"Hey!"
"Oh hush. You still have to get your NEWTs done. You're lucky Professor Tern sent me your OWL results. There're not many students that want to be dragon handlers but she told me that you have been vocal about your choice of vocation ever since you got to Hogwarts." She pointed her wand at me and a torrent of water spewed out, bowling me over, but cleaning me of the dragon spit in the process. "There, much better. Now, let's get started, shall we?"
"Alright." I said, shaking my head, and wringing my robes for a moment before remembering that I was, in fact, a wizard and using an overpowered warming charm to dry myself up. "So how come I never got melted by the dragon spit?" I asked her, curiously.
"I'll explain things as we go along. Now, first thing's first. We're going to have to give our dragon some medicine. As for why the spit didn't melt you where you stood, the reason is a simple one."
"I'm a wizard."
"No."
"Then what?"
"It's the fabric."
"The fabric?"
"Yep. It's dragon spit resistant. To be fair, it is dragon hide, after all. All Dragon Handlers' robes are, otherwise we wouldn't have a job."
"That... actually makes a lot of sense."
"Of course it does. I'm a genius, what'd you expect?"
"Right. Of course. Silly me."
"Alright. Now, come here and I'll teach you how to give our friend here her medicine."
"Her? That's a she?"
"Well, duh. I checked the anatomy, what'd you think?"
"I didn't want to presume."
"Oh, just shut up and let me do the talking."
"Yes, ma'am."
"Good boy. Now, this is a fairly straightforward potion, but the trick is to not to let her swallow the potion in its current liquid state. It needs to be mixed in with her food." She explained. "Otherwise she won't drink it at all. Now she's still growing so she likes her mixture of brandy and blood, so it shouldn't be too bad except there's one problem. The potion reacts badly to alcohol. What do you think is the solution, then?" She asked me now.
"Mix the potion into the blood instead?"
"Well, it's not the only thing you could do, but yeah. That's a pretty good option. I'm guessing that you're a Hufflepuff."
"Uh... Gryffindor actually."
"Ah, well, close enough."
"Um, thank you?"
"It's an expression, boy."
"Right. Of course. Silly me."
"You keep saying that, you're gonna hurt someone's feelings. Now, let's get mixing."
"Right."
"We have a bit of time to kill anyway."
"And how exactly do we do that?"
"It's simple, really. You mix the blood into the potion and then you boil the whole lot until it's reduced to a syrup."
"Alright."
"Good. Now, here's the potion. You're on stirring duty. I'll be prepping her to boil the potion."
"Wouldn't it be easier to just boil it in a normal cauldron?"
"Sure, but dragon fire is imbued with the magic of the specific dragon we're trying to heal, which then keys the potion to that dragon." She explained as I began to pour the vat of potion into a rather large trough which I now realized was filled with hog's blood. "Now, once the potion's boiled, I'll feed it to her. Then we'll wait a few minutes and I'll take a look inside her mouth."
"That easy, huh?"
"Of course not. I have to make sure she doesn't close it when I put my head in her mouth." She pointed out brusquely.
"Wait, WHAT?!"
"Don't worry, it's completely safe."
"But what if she eats you?"
"She won't. Trust me. I've been doing this for a while."
"You sure?"
"Positive. Besides, I have a Portkey in case of an emergency. I'll be fine."
"If you say so..."
"I do. Now, get to work. And so I got to work, mixing potion with blood, quietly thinking that the six years of me wanting to be a dragon handler did NOT prepare me for this.