After adamantly denying my muse permission to play when we saw a meme on TikTok that was perfect for the one-braincell partnership that is Steph and Lester, I eventually had to relent when Debra8652 sent me an idea for a sequel to Piggyback. I hope I've done it justice.

Piggyback 2: Baby Koala Behind Bars

The roster had been giving him grief. With several men out sick, he and Tank had been chasing their tails to try to keep patrols going and still have enough men available to cover the other aspects of the business. Recently, Ranger had been getting Steph to step into as many roles as possible around the office so she could sub in wherever needed. She'd always done well enough in the skip tracing despite her late start to training, and her searches were second to none. These were known truths. Tried and tested. And with her innate ability to get people on her side, no one was surprised she ended up excelling in client relations. Sales figures and overall customer satisfaction had been boosted since she started regularly attending client meetings and partnering with the guys on site visits and call outs.

And as a bonus, it meant that Ranger didn't have to outright tell her that her previous working partnership with Lester had to be terminated for their own good, as well as the mental well-being of himself and Bobby.

The piggyback incident had been the last straw, proving that common sense seemed to fly out the window whenever they were together, and he'd agreed with the medic that something had to change. But knowing how much Steph loved working with his cousin, he was reluctant to be the bad guy and outright forbid them from partnering together. Instead, he'd approached his Babe with a plea for help on the business end of Rangeman, citing her business degree and general likability as evidence to win her over. And in the meantime, he'd instructed Tank to start rotating the partners as they tended to do every now and then, just to avoid suspicion.

Except now, with staffing so tight, they were faced with the only option left being a resurgence of the Steph and Lester show. Tank had tried to work around it, doing rostering gymnastics to avoid putting the two together, but as soon as he showed Ranger the latest version, he knew it wasn't going to work.

"Putting Steph and Santos together solves the whole problem," Tank explains, clicking a button on his laptop and watching as the names reshuffled to the version where Steph and Lester were partnered on several shifts and every other logistical nightmare they'd been contending with disappeared.. "It's like the missing puzzle piece."

A heavy sigh fell from Ranger's lips and he nodded gravely, already feeling a headache brewing at the thought of what trouble the pair would find themselves in this time around. "Send it out," he conceded. "And you better warn Brown."

Probably, it was time to confess to his crimes and beseech his girlfriend to be more careful while partnered with her best friend. He could only imagine how well the conversation would go.

*o*

In the end, he'd called both of them into his office, along with the medic, to calmly and maturely discuss the matter, and hopefully come to an understanding that Steph and Lester would endeavour to use the brains they all knew they had in their heads. Neither of them were stupid by anyone's standards, but they could certainly act that way when left unsupervised.

"I'm sure you've seen the revised roster by now," Ranger started, looking from Lester to Steph. "You'll notice that you have been paired together for a number of shifts over the next month."

They nodded, smiling at the news as they shared an excited look. "Bones and Booth together again!" Lester exclaimed, extending a fist to Steph for her to bump. Ranger thought a better comparison would have been Larry and Curly from the Three Stooges, but he kept that thought to himself. He valued his life, after all.

"I thought this would be a good opportunity to discuss your behaviour in the field," Ranger went on, inwardly wincing when his Babe's face contorted into a frown. That expression on her face was probably why he decided to throw his medic under the metaphoric bus. "After the Bourgardi case, Bobby came to me with some startling evidence indicating the correlation between the two of you partnering together and the occurrence of incidents, particularly those resulting in injury. As an experiment, I decided to keep you separate for a time to see if these incidents lessened in frequency. And they have. However, with the current staffing crisis, Tank brought it to my attention that reinstating your partnership solves a lot of headaches. Which brings me to the reason I called you both here today."

"No shenanigans," Lester said solemnly, placing a hand over his heart. "You have my word."

"Cross my heart and hope to die," Steph agreed, mimicking Lester's position.

Bobby let out a groan at her choice of phrasing. "That's actually something we're trying to avoid, Bomber," he pointed out. "We're trying to keep you both alive."

Steph was thoughtful, looking from Bobby to Ranger and finally Lester, her frown deepening with every passing second. "What can we do to reassure you both that we can be trusted together?" she asked.

Ranger hadn't thought that far. He knew he wanted to make the pair aware of the situation so that they would have it in the back of their minds, influencing their decision-making while they were out on the streets, but he wasn't sure there was much more any of them could do to affect the outcome of their time together.

"They could check in with their plans before they leave the building?" Bobby suggested, but he didn't sound convinced, which was nothing on Lester's apparent feelings on the matter.

"No way!" he exclaimed. "Like a newbie?! That's not fair!"

"What's not fair is the amount of stress Ranger and I are subjected to every time you drive out of the garage and come back with those guilty puppy dog eyes," Bobby countered, crossing his arms over his chest. "The last month has been almost blissful not worrying about what you were getting yourselves into."

"If it was that much of a problem, why didn't you talk to us about it sooner, instead of just shuffling the roster to keep us apart?" Steph asked, and the hurt apparent in her face and voice did not bode well for Ranger's heart, or his plans for that evening. He had a feeling he was due for a blast of her Italian temper instead of a visit from her Hungarian hormones as he'd been banking on.

"If we knew you had concerns we could have done something to fix it," Lester added, matching her tone, though the effect was not as compelling coming from his cousin.

"I didn't want to put a damper on your friendship," Ranger admitted reluctantly. He hated acknowledging his softer side, even to those close to him. Seeing the joy that hanging out with Lester brought her made it almost impossible to tell her no. Even now he was second guessing whether he'd made the right decision in bringing it to their attention, although admittedly, that could be because of the aforementioned Italian temper he was predicting to arrive as soon as they were alone.

"So what can we do?" Steph asked again, her hurt seeming to have mellowed some with Ranger's admission. Maybe he wasn't in the doghouse after all?

"Aside from stopping to think about the consequences before jumping with both feet into your first off the wall thought?" Bobby said. "I'm not sure."

"We've only just published the roster," Ranger pointed out. "And your first shift together isn't until Friday. I suggest we all think about what can be done between now and then."

*o*

Friday morning, Steph and Lester were ready and raring to go, but neither had had any further ideas on how to ensure they stayed off the idiot list to prevent injury. It was certainly a difficult condition to create a contingency plan for, and Ranger, being the master strategist he was, was frustrated by this occurrence. He liked to be sure, to have plans and back up plans and in-case-of-emergency, break-glass options in place to avoid life's unexpected ugly consequences wherever possible. Especially when his Babe was involved. But all they had to show for the last two days of brainstorming, aside from six hours of Steph giving him the stink eye until he could sufficiently apologise, was Brown's rhyming pledge.

Ranger struggled not to let the sigh building up in his chest past his lips as the medic handed Steph and Lester each a slip of paper with what he expected them to say on it. How had it come to this?

It took only a few seconds for them to cast their eyes over the script, at which point they turned simultaneously, single raised eyebrows to Bobby. Well, Lester raised a single eyebrow, and Steph's expression was the exact one she always bore when she was trying to do the same.

"Seriously?" Lester asked, waving the paper. "This is all you could come up with?"

Bobby crossed his arms over his chest. "Do you have a better suggestion?"

Their expressions said they did not, not that anyone was surprised. Ranger wouldn't have agreed to this farce if there was a better option.

"I just figured someone would have come up with something a little more…"

"Foolproof," Lester finished for her when she trailed off with a vague hand gesture.

Ranger's watch buzzed with a fifteen minute reminder for his first meeting of the day. He didn't have time to rehash the same conversation a twelfth time this week. "It is what it is," he said succinctly. "We're not letting you out into society until you've said it."

"And I'll add verses every time you return to the office with tales of idiocy or an injury," Bobby added.

With a sigh, they both lifted their pages and started to read in the same bored and stilted tone one would expect from elementary school children being forced to read aloud from a textbook.

"If I see danger, I should run," Steph started with a roll of her eyes.

"Breaking things should not be fun," Lester continued.

Steph huffed out the next line: "Fire is bad."

They finished off the last line, each making eye contact with the men exerting the power to force them into reciting this ridiculous poem, Steph with Ranger, and Lester with Bobby. "If I get hurt you'll be mad."

"Can we go now?" Steph whined.

"Babe," Ranger said, his lips twitching with the suggestion of a smile. He knew how eager she was to spend the day with LEster even with her new awareness of how the combination of their personalities tended to result in less than desirable outcomes. Her little frown was endearing to him, as most expressions she made were, and he almost laughed when she crossed her arms over her chest. It was nearly impossible to say no to her, which is why he'd created the rostering work-around in the first place.

Lifting his hand barely an inch in Steph's direction, Ranger was rewarded when she automatically stepped forward to clasp it in her own, allowing him to pull her into a one-armed embrace and press a kiss to the top of her curls. "Don't go crazy," he murmured, and before she could chime in with her usual response, he added, "And don't get shot."

She squeezed his waist briefly, a silent promise in her eyes that she'd try. Everyone knew getting shot at rated lower on her list of favourite things to do than working out. Unfortunately, though, Lester was in a shithead mood.

"No promises!" he called, grabbing Steph's hand and tugging her away toward their assigned vehicle. "Come on, Steph! The Nikkinovs are expecting us." And with that, they were off to wreak their unique brand of havoc on the world.

God help them all.

*o*

Ranger was in the middle of reviewing manager reports from the other Rangeman branches when his phone started buzzing at the same time a jolt of warning stiffened his spine. He scowled at the name on the screen before sliding the green circle across to answer the call.

"Yo."

"Thought you'd want to know, Steph and one of your guys have just been arrested," Joe said without greeting or preamble.

It was all Ranger could do to suppress a sigh. Not again. Unbidden, the memory of the last time his employees had landed themselves in lock-up passed through his mind, recalling the ridiculous circumstances that resulted in a midday brawl at the Cluck-in-a-Bucket and landed Woody and Hal behind bars. "What are the charges?" he managed to ask, keeping his voice free of all emotion.

"Larceny. They stole a diamond tennis bracelet."

He highly doubted that, and the tone in which the cop relayed the information suggested he agreed with Ranger's gut instinct.

"Arresting officer?" he asked, locking his computer and making his way out of the office.

Morelli's tone told Ranger everything he needed to know about his opinion of the man when he uttered, "Gaspick."

And there it was. Not only was Gaspick an arrogant ass, renowned for arresting first and asking questions later, but he seemed to have a vendetta against Rangeman. He took every opportunity to exert whatever power he could clutch in his meaty fist over Ranger and his men.

"Thanks," Ranger said, hanging up as he reached the stairwell door just as Hal popped up from behind the monitor stations like a meerkat and started racing toward him.

"Sir!" he called when Ranger didn't wait to hear what he had to say, instead just continuing down the stairs at a steady pace. "Control just received a call from Santos, he and Bomber -"

"I know," Ranger cut him off impatiently. "I'm heading to the station to sort it out now."

"Then you'll want this," Hal said, catching up to him at a landing and holding out a USB memory stick. Ranger raised an eyebrow, accepting the thumb drive without breaking stride. "It's security footage that proves they were framed."

Ranger nodded and pocketed the drive. He lifted his gaze to make eye contact with Hal as he rounded another corner and the man remained on the previous landing looking down. He didn't need words to ask the question: Anything else?

Hal shook his head briefly and turned on his heels, disappearing back up the stairs to return to his post.

Ranger's phone was buzzing again as he exited the stairwell, this time accompanied by a pleasant tingle of awareness at the nape of his neck. He knew who it was before he'd even looked at the screen, a smile tugging the corners of his mouth upward despite his growing ire at the situation.

"Babe," he greeted, sliding behind the wheel of the Cayenne.

"It wasn't my fault," she said. "We-"

"You didn't even last half a day," he cut her off, but couldn't help the smile creeping onto his face. Despite the worry and the propensity for injuries, the fact that her partnership with Lester could go so spectacularly wrong in a matter of hours was amusing.

"You already know?" she sighed forlornly.

"Morelli," he explained where he'd heard her latest exploit. "And the guys on monitors while I was on my way out the door."

Another sigh crackled over the line. "Yeah, Les used his phone call to get the guys on control to check the feeds for the Nikkinov's house," she said. "Did they find anything?"

"Hal is confident you were framed," Ranger assured her. "I'm bringing the footage over now. We'll have this sorted out in no time."

The relief was clear in her voice when she thanked him, but it quickly morphed into what sounded to Ranger like embarrassment when she spoke again. "When you get here, can you bring in the spare sweats from the emergency kit in the trunk?"

"Babe?" He wanted an explanation, but a voice in the background was hurrying her off the phone.

"I'll explain when you get here," she said. "I've gotta go."

Ranger broke several traffic laws on the way to the police station as he employed every short cut and defensive driving skill he knew of to reach his Babe. At one point he narrowly avoided running over an ancient woman who was crossing the road at a snail's pace with her walker. Luckily, though, there didn't appear to be any cops around to pull him up on his recklessness. A good thing, too, because knowing his reputation, he would probably have been given the same treatment as Steph and Lester, and land himself in a cell alongside them.

And can you imagine the headlines?

Three Rangeman Employees Behind Bars After Crime Spree.

Tank and the PR team would give him an earful. Not to mention his mama.

So, it was with mild relief that he pulled into the parking lot without incident several minutes later. Striding purposefully to the trunk, he pulled out the duffle he kept there just for Steph. All Rangeman SUVs carried an emergency kit that included sweats in a size that would generally fit any of his men, and sure, Steph probably would have made do with those, but he preferred her to be comfortable, which meant sweatpants that didn't pools on the floor around her feet because the legs were too long. Surprisingly, though, he'd discovered that Steph's preference was usually for Ranger's own sweatshirt when she was dealing with a crisis, so he'd just doubled up on his own size for the kit in his car.

Morelli was leaning against the intake counter when Ranger entered. He lifted his wrist to glance at the time, then sent the man in black a raised eyebrow that seemed to say, "I hope you were actually nearby, but I suspect you flew across town ignoring every speed limit and red light in the process." Thankfully, though, they had come to an agreement some time in the last year or so, that when it came to matters concerning Steph's wellbeing, no questions should or would be asked.

"This way," Morelli said, jerking his head toward the door as he straightened and led the way. "Santos mentioned you provide security for the couple accusing them of theft?"

Ranger nodded and held up the thumb drive Hal had handed him. "Got the footage. They're innocent," he replied, silently hoping that today would not be the day his men let him down. He had a lot of faith in the guys he hired and their ability to quickly and accurately assess situations, both in person and in security feed relays, and come to an accurate conclusion. If Hal was sure they'd been framed, he had to believe it too until he could review the footage for himself.

Morelli nodded and thumped on the door they'd just reached. Gaspick's voice drifted out. "Got Manoso here to see you," Morelli informed him as he swung the door open.

"Bail is paid at intake, Morelli," Gaspick retorted, a sneer of a smile on his face. "You know that."

"I don't need to bail them out," Ranger intoned, brushing past Morelli to approach Officer Gaspick's desk, sliding the thumb drive across the surface toward him, slowly and deliberately. "You're about to drop the charges."

Gaspick's hackles were clearly raised as he shot to his feet, one hand on the weapon at his hip. "Is that a threat?" he demanded, eyes flashing.

Morelli executed a perfect Burg eye roll and rounded his colleagues desk with a barely contained sigh. "Just play the file," he muttered, jamming the drive into the USB port on the side of the computer and leaning over to take control of the mouse, blatantly ignoring the other man's protests. Once the video was on the screen and ready for playback, Morelli stood back and gestured for Gaspick to do the honours.

With a grumble, he sat back down and clicked the mouse, grumbling a little more when Ranger moved to stand behind the desk with the cops so he could see for himself what was happening.

On the screen was rolling footage of what appeared to be the foyer of one of his well-to-do private residence security clients. Ranger catalogued the empty space quickly, his eyes flicking over the details and noting from the presence of Steph's messenger bag on the side table, and the time stamp in the corner of the screen that the footage was recorded during her and Lester's visit this morning.

"What is this?" Gaspick demanded, his head swivelling from one side to the other to peer at the men looming over him.

"Rangeman provides security for the Nikkinovs," Ranger explained. He didn't have all the details of who had accused Steph and Lester of stealing, but he was a quick study, and if Hal had determined this footage proved their innocence, then Ranger had to guess that it was the Nikkinovs pressing charges. "My employees attended the residence this morning for a routine walk through and to discuss changes in their security needs. This footage appears to be from the internal camera posted above the front door." It was all about confidence. Sell it, and they'll believe it.

With another huff, Gaspick clicked the play button and the time stamp began to roll forward. After about a minute, the officers had everything they needed to lead Ranger through to lock up and release Steph and Lester from their custody.

"You're free to go," Gaspick said begrudgingly as he unlocked the cell. "Turns out the couple's own grandson planted the bracelet in your bag while you were otherwise occupied. I'll drop the charges against you, but if I catch you associated with this kind of crime again-"

"Got it," Lester assured him, nodding and herding Steph out of the cell in front of him. "Best behaviour, we promise."

Ranger swallowed back the urge to snort at his cousin's oath, given the results of a similar one he'd made just hours earlier. It's a good thing Officer Gaspick wasn't privy to that, or he'd march them straight back into the cell as a precautionary measure. As it was, the officer just gave them each a long hard glare before striding away, grumbling under his breath. Morelli lingered long enough to assure himself that everything was resolved before giving Ranger a courteous nod and disappearing back into the bowels of the station.

Lester kept himself practically glued to Steph's back as they approached Ranger, but not in the usual protective manner he was used to. No, this was different. Odder. Especially when combined with the way Steph's hand clutched at something behind her, her cheeks reddening when she realised Ranger had noticed.

"Did you bring the sweats?" she asked, the blush spreading across her chest when they came to stand in front of him.

Ranger held up the small duffle of her clothes in reply, willing himself to remain calm, but unable to keep the concern from his voice when he asked, "Are you okay?"

"Fine," she assured him, unzipping the bag and pulling out the pants inside. "Just had a minor mishap with a fence while we were chasing after a skip."

His eyes narrowed. "You weren't supposed to be skip tracing today," he pointed out, watching carefully as she kicked off her low heels and pulled the sweats on, shimmying them up underneath the skirt she wore, securing it, and then tugging the skirt off. Ranger and Lester both shifted to shield her from view of the rest of the room when a catcall drifted from the far cell. The skirt and heels definitely weren't appropriate for skip tracing. She could have broken her ankle.

"We weren't," Steph assured him, passing him the skirt automatically when he held out his hand to take it from her. As he examined the jagged slit running from the hem almost all the way to the waistband that definitely wasn't there this morning when she'd gotten dressed, she explained, "After we left the Nikkinov's we were driving down the street and I spotted an FTA that's in Rangeman's files. We pulled over and gave chase."

"Beautiful was ahead of me," Les continued as they started toward the exit. This earned him a sharp look from Ranger. They all knew that even with all the training Steph had undergone in the last year she wasn't a fast runner. Certainly not as fast as Santos. So the question in Ranger's arched brow was how she could have beat him.

Steph grabbed Ranger's hand, pulling him along while she fought a smile. "He had to call control for back up, and then he tripped on the curb and faceplanted," she explained. "By the time he caught up I already had the skip."

Lester snorted, trailing behind them through the intake area and out into the parking lot. "That's a bit of an exaggeration," he said. "When I caught up to you, you were clinging to the skips back while he tried to scale a chain link fence to get away."

She rolled her eyes, but didn't deny it as Ranger ushered her into the front passenger seat of the SUV and ensured she was buckled in before closing the door and moving to the driver side to get in.

"Anyway," Les continued from the back seat, leaning forward so his face was practically between the front seats as Ranger started to back out of the space. "Steph's hanging on for dear life. I'm yelling at her to let go of him so I can stun him and that's when Officer Picky turns up yelling that we're under arrest."

"I was so distracted that the skip managed to shake me off," Steph said, shaking her head. "My skirt got caught on the fence and ripped on the way down."

"Then they searched Steph's bag, found the diamond bracelet and we were wrongfully taken into custody. And you know the rest," Les finished.

Ranger could feel a headache coming on. The return of their partnership was supposed to solve some of his problems, not create more. He'd specifically kept Steph on customer service oriented tasks in the roster to avoid the possibility of her usual FTA fiascos, but apparently the universe wasn't feeling very charitable toward Ranger at the moment, because it had dropped an FTA fiasco on them anyway. Taking a deep breath, he let it out slowly before glancing from one to the other. "The skip?" he questioned.

"Junior and Manny arrived just as everything was going down," Santos explained. They gave chase when Steph dropped and the skip made it over the fence."

Ranger nodded. He hoped the other men had caught the FTA, but he didn't have the wherewithal to be mad if they didn't. He was tapped out at the moment. "Injuries?"

"Les has a graze and the start of a bruise on his chin," Steph said.

"Steph has a nasty scratch the length of her thigh," Les countered.

A sigh almost broke free of Ranger's chest as he acknowledged that once again he'd let the pair out into society and they'd manage to damage themselves. He hit a button on the steering wheel to connect his phone and commanded it to call Bobby, warning him that he'd have two patients in his infirmary in five minutes. Then he reached over and grabbed Steph's hand, bringing it to his lips. "What am I gonna do with you, Babe?"

"I can think of a few things," Lester replied helpfully from the backseat, the grin evident in his voice.

Ranger glared at him in the rearview mirror. "You better hope that chin graze is worse than it looks, because unless Bobby says otherwise, you'll be meeting me on the mats at oh-five-hundred," he seethed.

Lester chuckled. "I kinda assumed that's where I'd be tomorrow morning anyway after how today turned out." Then he put on what Ranger and Steph both recognised as his 'impersonating Ranger' voice to add, "You had one job, Santos!"

"To be fair," Steph said, turning in her seat to face him. "When the one job was to not do anything stupid or let me do anything stupid, it's a bit of a tall ask."

"I bet Bobby's already writing a new verse to our Leaving the Office oath," Lester said as they turned onto Haywood a couple minutes later. "I wonder how he's gonna fit 'don't get arrested' or 'don't hitch a ride on a skip over a fence and then fall ripping your skirt open' into a rhyme."

Ranger just shook his head and pulled into the parking garage, seriously rethinking the roster once again. If they couldn't even go a full day without landing themselves in some kind of strife, how was he supposed to relax knowing they'd be spending more time working together over the next few weeks while they were short staffed. Maybe he could call in some men from Boston or Miami.

Bobby was waiting for them in front of the elevator when they all climbed out of the vehicle, arms crossed over his chest and looking as stressed as Ranger felt, if not more. Maybe he should invite the medic to join him for a drink.

"I've received a SitRep from Hal, Junior and Manny, and I have to ask, did you pair just forget to pack your brain cells when you were getting ready this morning?"

"Actually," Lester said, tucking his hands into his pockets and using an elbow to hit the call button for the elevator, "We decided to donate brain cells to kids in need. They were running a charity drive at the local school." He grinned in that winning way and even Ranger wanted to laugh at the idiocy of the statement.

"I told Les we had to keep some for ourselves, but you know how big his heart is," Steph said, beaming as she added to the joke. "He'll do anything for kids in need."

"Babe," Ranger groaned, tugging her to him, wrapping his arms around her waist and dropping his head onto her shoulder.

She turned her head to press a kiss to his hair. "We really tried to be good," she sighed. "I just spotted the skip and knew we had to get him and then everything went to shit. I'm sorry. I'll take a look at the roster and see if there's a way to work it so Les and I aren't partnered together."

"There isn't," he replied, though he'd let her look at it and try to work her magic anyway. "Believe it or not, even with you two causing chaos at the drop of a hat, what we have now is the best combination possible until we can get back to normal staffing ratios."

"Better the devil you know," Bobby agreed solemnly as the elevator arrived and they all piled in. "I'll get the new verse to the oath drafted tonight so it's ready to go in the morning. Might need to clarify the first verse though. Where it says "If I see danger I should run" I actually meant you should run away from the danger, not jump on it's back. What is it with you and piggybacks lately?"

Steph shrugged. "Grandma brought me back a koala toy from her trip to the zoo while she was in Florida. Did you know that Koala babies ride on their mother's backs after they leave the pouch?"

Lester snorted. "Koalas were a good choice, Beautiful," he intoned, leaning in close so that only Steph could hear, if he hadn't been speaking in a stage whisper, that is. "They're cute. No one can be made a koala baby. Possum babies ride on their mom's backs too, but I don't recommend telling people you're like a possum. Not even these two could justify risking rabies to save you."

"Santos," Ranger growled.

"Yeah, yeah," his cousin said, waving him off as the elevator doors dinged open. "Mats. Oh-five-hundred."

End