Chapter 16: All Along the Watchtower

"To fuck around is human. To find out is divine."

— 32 —

The Boy: Yeah I thought so

You: The wheel in your head is turning but the hamster is dead

You: U there?

You: heyyy

The Boy: SEND HELP NOW FUCKER TRYING TO KILL ME

The Boy: BLAKE GET EVERYONE

You: What?

You: Jaune

You: Who?

Blake showed them the texts, scrolling up and down to quickly show them what she needed them to see. Everything inside her hurted. Ached for her to go now. Act fast. Do it quickly. But she knew, like Jaune always said, she couldn't do this alone.

Didn't mean she couldn't push things along.

"Now!" Blake said. "We have to go now. He was in the CCTS tower before; he's still there!"

Weiss was shaking her head, eyes wide. "Hold on, Blake. What's even—what?"

Blake waved her scroll quicker. "Stop arguing, Weiss! Please."

"I'm not, I just—what's even going on?"

"I don't know but it's serious!" She grabbed Weiss' sleeve and pulled. "C'mon!"

"What's that line there?" Coco asked, pointing at Blake's scroll.

"You!" Blake said, ignoring her question. "You're also here. You're helping us too, got it?"

Coco nodded. "I mean, if he needs help, yeah of course. But what's happening? You sure he's just not, like, angry about being lonely and working late tonight?"

"Don't be a dumb bitch, Coco!" Blake snapped.

Coco blinked, stepping back in surprise. "Whoa, cool it there, Blake."

"Yeah, that was…" Weiss paused uncomfortably, looking out towards the window into the cold February night.

"If none of you are helping me, then I'll do it myself!" Blake said, waving her scroll. "Screw all of you!"

"We're not going to not help!" Weiss said, high heel clicking as she stomped. "Just, we don't know what's going on."

Blake growled. "Well, something's wrong, and I can just tell, and—hey, you brat, give that back!"

Ruby had snatched Blake's scroll, flicking the text upwards to the one line Blake had been trying to obscure by moving the log up and down so quickly.

"Give that back!" Blake said, flushing, angry, embarrassed. "Don't you—stop that!"

Ruby squinted, and then her face fell. Her eyes looked distant as she nodded to Blake. "I'm with you. Let's go."

"What? What did you see?" Coco asked.

Ruby turned the scroll around, holding an arm out to keep Blake from snatching it and read Jaune's actual last message.

The Boy: I'm sorry I couldn't love you like you love me

Everyone saw it. Everyone understood it. A single line of text with all the finality of a guillotine. Meaning itself. A quiet deathbed admission. Blake felt her cat ears under her hairbow folding over, as if trying to look smaller and hide herself in her everything.

Ruby didn't resist as Blake took it back.

Weiss hugged herself, looking around. "I'll get Shamrock. You guys go outside. I'll be quick."

Blake looked around, eyes pleading. Ruby and Coco didn't seem to want to hold her eyes, but they nodded.

Team BASS plus Ruby Rose and Coco Adel. Blake didn't know those last two very well. In fact some abstract part of her disliked Coco for various reasons she couldn't emotionally articulate in a way that didn't make Blake sound completely insane. But if they were going to help Jaune, that was good enough for her.

"C'mon," Blake said, almost prancing in place. Leg muscles burning to start sprinting. To get going.

To stop holding things up.

Only to nearly freeze solid in the night air outside. Her breath misted even before it left her mouth, feeling like icicles on her teeth. Like one harsh bite and everything would shatter.

Weiss didn't keep them waiting long. But even in the seconds it took Blake had paced a hole in the snow.

"Uuuuugh!" Shamrock was half-screaming, half-grumbling as Weiss dragged her out with them from the ballroom.

"I didn't even get to say so long or anything!" Shamrock said.

"Look, I'm sorry," Blake said, waving her scroll. "But this is really important."

Shamrock sighed, rubbing her face. "I was in the middle of something!"

Ruby rubbed her shoulders. "You can just pick it up again later. 'So long' doesn't have to mean goodbye. It can also be a snake compliment."

Blake made a harsh face at Ruby, who shrunk in on herself.

"Be pretty cool if it was, not that I'm going to find out," Shamrock said pointedly, adjusting her hat.

"Shut up. Look!" Blake held her scroll up again. "Stop bitching, all of you. Let's. Go!"

And that was it. Everyone assembled. She didn't check to make sure they were actually with her, trusting in them to follow her as she ran towards the lights of the tower at Beacon's heart. Floor upon floor upon floor, a dark silhouette against the shattered moon.

Just run.

Don't look back.

Don't slip on the ice.

Cardio, right? Jaune always liked dragging her out running. Now it was coming in useful.

Just don't stop running.

Ruby nearly tripped. "Lady stilts, agh!"

Coco caught her before she fell, and Ruby just kicked her heels off. Barefoot in the frigid weather. Sharp heels, too. Could stab somebody with those.

"Weapons!" Blake said suddenly.

"What about 'em?" Coco asked.

"We don't have anything!"

"Are we gonna need them?" Ruby asked.

Blake gave Ruby such a harsh look that she actually flinched. "If he does and we don't have any, that's on us! If he doesn't, then we can shoot him for making me worry!"

"Rocket lockers," Coco said. "Have them launch to the CCTS tower. We'll pick 'em up there!"

Weiss was running strangely, holding her hands up like she was trying to pinch something. "Wait, that's actually real? I thought that was just a joke."

"No!" Coco took in a breath, teeth grit. "I've seen it in action. Just, be careful. They're very dangerous."

"Okay, how?" Blake asked.

The campus was passing by. Dorms. Library. Classrooms. Buildings she'd never been inside. The student center. Beacon was big. And it was little more than a blur, the giant CCTS tower creeping closer down from the horizon.

"Unlock your scrolls and gimme," Coco said. "I've done it before. Trust me!"

Blake tossed her scroll to Coco and kept going. Beacon's fountains had all iced over for the season and she went over them instead of down the long streets of campus. Tower, tower, closer and closer.

There was a distant hissing noise in the distance. A flash of light from the direction of some of class buildings. Blake couldn't see any rockets or other bright flames, but Coco still tossed her scroll back.

"They'll be there," Coco said.

They got to the foot of the CCTS tower and skidded to a halt outside the doors. The interior was dark at this hour. Blake looked up until she saw the locker racks coming down in parachutes. She saw the stickers she'd put on her own weapons crate in a fit of boredom so long ago and jumped up to catch it and pull it down.

"I thought they were supposed to be faster," Ruby said, twirling a folded up Crescent Rose through her hands. She clasped it onto her back.

"They're adjustable," Coco said. "Long story. They can blow things up if you click the panic button."

Blake went for the front door and pulled. They didn't open. She didn't have time for this! "I don't have anything to pick it with!" she said. "They're locked!"

Ruby looked up, up, and up towards the windows near the top of the tower. "Does anyone else have gravity Dust, or…?"

Shamrock sighed and stabbed her weapon through the lock, shattering it. "I am helpful, am I not?"

Blake flung the doors open. "Inside, let's go. Elevator! Jaune was up high!"

The tower's first floor was almost like a tourist center. A large kiosk was the centerpiece, typically manned by up to a half dozen people who could help connect calls, give information to new students, or just other generic work. Tables, vending machines, and couches. Plus an indoor fountain filled with metal coins. Blake hadn't paid much attention to it on her few times here.

There were a few elevators here in a row, but only one had the active lights on at this hour of night. She hit the call button on the lift and…

That was it. Her heart rattled her side to side. She couldn't even fully look at the women arrayed around her, too many spots in her eyes. Though some weird part of her felt a little off-put that it was a bunch of girls coming to his rescue. Again, for reasons she couldn't articulate. She had sudden doubts about calling them all to help. Thinking maybe she could have done it herself. Rode solo and helped Jaune out with… whatever was wrong.

"What do you think is happening?" Weiss asked, staring at the floor button. Watching the lift lower and lower from the skyward floors.

"There's Army guys up there, right?" Coco suggested. She kept trying to gesture to sunglasses she didn't have anymore.

"They're his friends," Blake said.

"Then why aren't they here?" Coco asked.

Blake shuddered. She didn't like the idea of having come so far from the White Fang only to face down the Royal Army again. She looked out the window and didn't see any gunships at least. So she shook her head. "They like overwhelming force. They'd be dumb to fight a Huntsman."

"Then what?" Shamrock asked, adjusting her—their—weapon. They gave Blake a meaningful look. The change in Shamrock's body, subtle, was still enough to get a confused doubletake from Coco. But it didn't matter. Not compared to whatever threat they were facing.

Blake's mind's eye flashed to Ozpin that night only two weeks ago. She'd warned Jaune he seemed sketchy. But, what, was their headmaster some murderous pedophile or something? That seemed weird. Same kind of weird that made her uncomfortable with all these other women coming to help Jaune.

Finally the lift dinged and she darted inside. She took out her student ID and hoped she was still on the access list or whatever. But nothing happened. Like, nothing at all. Not that she wasn't on the list, but the scanner was down and unpowered.

"Someone killed the panel," Blake said in a panic. She looked up at the ceiling patch and wondered if she could climb the cable rope up. Y'know, for like thirty stories or whatever.

"Hold on," Ruby said, forcing the panel up. "Yeah, it's short-circuited. I think I can fix it."

"With that?" Blake asked.

Ruby beamed. "What kinda loser doesn't carry her gun tools with her at all times? I got this."

Weiss was staring straight up. "Actually, Ruby, you said you have gravity Dust?"

Ruby took out a little magazine. "Yeah, in the bullets. Not enough to share. Don't think you even use my caliber."

Weiss kept staring, her rapier in hand. "Coco, your Semblance. Hype, right?"

Coco was rotating her hips, hand on her lower back like she was in more than a little pain. "I call it that, yeah."

"Gets extra leverage out of Dust, right?"

Coco nodded. "Depends."

"You only needed a little to burn Jaune pretty badly."

With a grimace, Coco was nodding. "Yeah. Why?"

Ruby was using a bullet as a screwdriver in the panel when Weiss snatched one from her.

"I'm going to need a few of these," Weiss said. "Blake, Shamrock, here. Uncap the grav Dust."

"What are you thinking?" Shamrock asked, catching the bullet.

Weiss held her sword up to her face, as if divided it between her sword. "Something crazy."

"Oh I like crazy," Coco said, rubbing her hands together.

"Touch me and get Hype," Weiss said with a little smirk. "The Dust please?"

Coco did. Shamrock and Blake tossed her the opened bullets.

Weiss took a breath, focusing, making a gesture with her free hand. She touched her sword to the floor, a fire behind her blue eyes. A purple snowflake glype spread out beneath their feet over the floor. Coco lit up with Aura, focusing her Semblance.

Weiss exhaled with focus, and the elevator thrust upwards. Hard enough Blake stumbled, clutching the little railing to keep on her feet. Her stomach lurched into her feet, knocking aside a scattering of organs. The floor indicator was darting floor by floor, the number flashing too fast to read.

The lift screeched, metal protesting as it dragged up the shaft. Enough to make Blake's ears hurt. Higher and higher into the air. She grit her teeth, scrunching her eyes shut to bear the audible pain.

Coco and Weiss kept together. Ruby kept playing with the panel.

Blake willed herself to watch the floor counter, white-knuckling her weapon. Counting the seconds as it climbed. The snowflake on the ground pulsed to Weiss' heartbeat, reflecting in Coco's eyes as she watched in awe.

Until it lurched to a stop, sending almost everyone scrambling. Weiss was sweating.

"We're here," Weiss said. "I don't know if we're floating or if the cables will hold us, so get through the door!"

Something flicked. The panel sparked.

"Got it!" Ruby said. She pressed the open button, and the elevator opened to the floor door. It had a massive dent from the other side, like something had tried breaking it open from within.

Blake surged forwards, jamming her sword through the door and trying to pry it open.

"Hurry!" Weiss said. "There really wasn't much Dust!"

Shamrock jammed their spear into the door and helped pry. Until Ruby unfurled her scythe and asked everyone to get clear. She swung the incredibly heavy weapon into the gap between the doors. Everyone with free hands helped her to lever open the door. Ruby's fingers went for the trigger and she fired, the heavy recoil jerking the weapon and prying the door ajar.

Blake saw just enough of a gap to slide through. She felt for her Semblance and forced out a Shadow clone, using its momentum to push her through the gap. Everyone else came in behind her.

She rolled into the room, breathing hard, weapon in hand.

"Jaune, are you smoking again!" Blake snapped without thinking.

Before she saw everything else about this whole scene.

And Jaune was laughing.

— 33 —

Every part of my body returned blood of a different temperature. Gravity pushed against and retracted from my extremities like a spasming nerve. The edges of vision itself were dull hazes, with countless blood cells rushing through my eyes like buckshot.

But that didn't matter. I held onto my sword and used it like a cane, until I was holding myself up on it. A mirror of how Ozpin was standing. I was disheveled, damp despite the frigid air of the comm center. And I couldn't keep the ferocious grin off my face.

Ozpin wasn't any more put together. I had him on the backfoot and something about it felt hot and nice.

His expression shifted, from a determined coldness to something more angry and apprehensive as the rest of the girls pushed through the lift and formed ranks around me. Whatever façade of control he had vanished into a slithering hidey-hole when Ruby and Coco finally entered the room.

"Like time no see, kemosabe," I said.

Blake threw her hands towards me. I winced. And she slapped the cigarette from my hands.

"Luh ya too," I said. "But, y'know, help me."

"What the hell is going on here, Jaune?" Blake asked. I felt incredibly warm where she touched me, helping me properly get to my full height. Only leaning on her a little for support.

Ozpin stepped back. The gravity quaking my knees vanished. I exhaled, surprised my breath wasn't misting.

"Old man is trying to murder me," I said. "Happens sometimes around me, y'know?"

"He's what?" Ruby asked sharply, eyes wide. She tightened the grip of her scythe. "Why would—huh?"

Ozpin had a very distinctive I-don't-know-what's-going-on-here look. "Don't be ridiculous," he said.

"No," I said, leveling my finger at him. "You show up out of nowhere, acting all secret and creepy, shoot yourself with my gun, and chase me while monologing about nothing. Then you force me to my knees. So unless this is a sexual assault, you were trying to murder me!"

"Why would he shoot himself?" Coco asked.

I gestured vaguely. "Iunno. Proving I can't hurt him. He's invincible. That I should give up and let it happen. Dude's into some weird kinks for all I fucking care."

"You can't believe this," Ozpin said, barely keeping an even tone.

Weiss took a deep breath and held out her sword. "I'm willing to."

"Same," Blake said, giving me a little wink.

"Sure, I guess," Shamrock said mildly. "Wouldn't be the first time some creepy old man turned out to be a rapist."

Ozpin's expression was hard to read. Mental gears grinding. A faint tremble in his hands. He gripped his cane tighter, holding himself up straight. He was silent, staring at Ruby and Coco.

Ruby just held her scythe tighter. She took up position alongside me, silver eyes intense. "Get your own boywife, Ozpin!"

Coco was just slowly unfurling her purse into a weapon. Just glaring at Ozpin. "Trusting you here, Jaune," she said. Ruby made an agreeing noise.

But all I could do was grin. "What's there to trust? This ain't about what is and what could be. This is."

Shamrock titled their head. "Does is mean he's gonna kill you and us now too?"

I blinked. "Oh, uh. Y'know, I didn't really, uh…"

Ozpin swallowed, holding his cane in both hands. Pressing the tip into the ground in front of him. A face off between himself and everyone else. I knew that look in his eyes. An attempt to keep control of things spiraling out of control. A desperate flick to the side. Not trying to escape. Looking for a weakness. An opportunity.

Slowly, he raised a hand. His tongue ran over his tooth. And he let out a breath. "I was trying to kill him."

"Wait, you're just gonna admit it?" I asked. "Not even a token denial at this point?"

"What would be the point, child?" he said. "You're a danger to everyone on Remnant. I'm doing this to protect them all. None of you know what he is."

My eyes narrowed. Blake's hand on my arm tightened.

"That thing isn't a boy," Ozpin said. "Not even a human being, not really. I suspected for so very long. But he tipped his hand. Pulled on too many strings. He started getting cocky."

"What?" I asked. "No, for real—huh?"

Ozpin pointed at me. "Ruby, Coco, BASS, he is the danse macabre made flesh. I know that's hard to believe, but what other choice would I have? It is my mission to protect my students. To nurture and nourish you. I do not murder people for its own sake."

Weiss scoffed. "What does that even mean?"

He let out a long, shuddering breath. "I'm not surprised he hasn't told you. Creatures like him abhor the truth. Semblance and seeming are their weapons. He isn't even Jaune Arc. He's just the parasite wearing his skin, and he's had you all fooled."

Coco, without any sunglasses, was staring at me. "Are you telling me he's a skinwalker?"

Ozpin shook his head. "Worse. Skinwalkers merely mime the flesh. They use stolen tongues to lure in victims. He's something worse. Something from beyond the Pale. Not from this world. It's hard to believe, but this is why I alone had to act. And I hoped to keep it a secret to protect you."

Ruby was shaking her head slowly. "Wait, wait, wait, what? He's not Jaune? Since when?"

Weiss grit her teeth. "Since before any of us met him."

Ozpin blinked.

"So, he wasn't replaced by a Grimm or something?" Ruby asked.

"Not as long as you've known him," Weiss said.

Shamrock sighed. "I met the old Jaune. It's whatever."

"So the Jaune who put broccoli in my lunchbox and this one are the same?"

"Pretty much," Shamrock said. "He went weird before we all really met."

Ozpin's mouth moved. Nothing came out. He put a hand to his face, as if trying to keep his eye from falling out. "You… you knew?"

Blake took a sharp step forwards. "Yeah, for a while now."

"You knew!?" he shouted, loud and sudden enough that almost everyone winced.

Everyone except Blake, who kept herself halfway between him and me. "Yeah. And it doesn't matter. How do you know?"

Coco waved her hand. "Wait, wait, can someone explain what's going on?"

Shamrock looked over their shoulder. "Jaune's basically some thing made of souls. He didn't want to be here, but he is, and he's pretty harmless. Yes, I know, this has enormous theological implications, but it turns it doesn't matter. It's actually super lame."

"So no one killed Jaune?" Ruby asked.

Weiss shrugged. "I actually think this Jaune and the old one are still in his head. We've met. The old Jaune hits on me. The current one just sends Blake mixed signals."

I gasped. "Hey! Low fucking blow."

Blake cringed. "Yeah, Weiss, can we not?"

Weiss sighed. "Look, at least you're talking now. But you're both weird. You're weird about each other."

"Jaune?" Coco asked warily.

I shrugged at her. "It just never came up in conversation. Just trust me on this one, okay?"

"You'll explain later, right?" she asked.

"Do I have to?"

Our eyes met. I felt something pass between us. From meeting her in the gym, to her standing up to Ozpin to bring me with her to Montluçon, to holding her in my arms with Ruby as she kicked and screamed. As we were together through her worst, most ugly moments, staying by each other, supporting each other.

She sighed. "Oh, push your panties and your pride to the side."

I snerked. "Hate ya too, boo."

"Later, yeah?"

"In the back of your car?"

She charged her weapon and threw a bullet at me, rolling her eyes.

But Ozpin was still staring. Just staring. Eyes darting back and forth between all of us. When he shifted, I saw the damp lakes beneath his arms, soaking through his shirt and suit. He sloshed, sweat running down his face. Onto his chin. He lips his lips and drank sweat.

"No," he whispered. "No, that's… no."

"Are you happy, old man?" I asked.

"No."

"No?"

"No!" he screamed, thrust his cane into the ground. "None of you get it. You don't, you can't, understand! I see what he's doing. You're young, I don't blame you for ignorance, but I know what he really is. No matter how he's wormed his way into your hearts, he's lying. You're being manipulated and you don't even know it! Ruby, he knows why the world needs you, and that's why he's done all of this with you. Coco, he understands how important you are, and so has nestled into your bosom. He is not a person! He's a thing. A monster! A parasite! Undermining me at every opportunity out of spite. Trying to wrestle control of the narrative to his ends. Making himself needed so you can't get rid of him. I know what he is. Why he's doing it. And I won't let him hurt anyone ever again!"

Blake hesitated. "How do you know?"

"Because like recognizes like, Blake!" he screamed.

"You keep her name out your mouth with that fucking tone!" I shouted, hefting my sword and standing beside Blake.

He stepped towards me, teeth grit. Breathing heavily. Until he broke out into a little laugh, spreading his hands. His arms quavered. "I know what you are, child. You're just like me. That's how I know what you're doing. That's why whatever happens, I'll stop you. But you've always known that, haven't you?"

The collective noises of surprises cascaded. People realized what Ozpin meant. My heart was racing. All the blood going to my limbs. And only belatedly reaching the mess of neurons between my ears poorly masquerading as a brain.

"Wait, you're a—" I held up a hand. "Timeout, timeout. Did someone isekai you too against your will? Since when?"

"Don't you play stupid with me, child!" he hissed. "You can't lie your way out of this one. You might have fooled them, but I'm not so naïve! You've been playing a game this entire time, trying to put me into check. Countering everything I've done to suit your inscrutable ends. This isn't a coincidence. This is premeditated, all of it!"

"The fuck have I even done?" I asked, shaking my head. Sneering in confusion.

He leaned in forwards. Blake tightened her grip. Everyone tensed for violence. There was a scent of cigarettes on his jacket.

"Ruby Rose and her silver eyes," he said, voice low, as if just for us to hear. Barely above a growl.

"That precious little minx just started following me around one day and screamed at me and I couldn't get rid of her," I said. "What the fuck is the deal with silver eyes, anyways?"

He scoffed. "Like you don't know."

"Wait, what about my eyes?" Ruby asked.

I gestured vaguely. "I think it's some weird eugenics thing. Ozpin sounds like he subscribes to advanced race theory."

"Because you know what she can do; why she's important!"

"I'm important?" Ruby asked with a sense of awe.

"Please," Ozpin said. "I've seen the texts between you two. Why else do you think he wants to sleep with you?"

I coughed. "Jesus, fuck, no. She's like—oh god, that's disgusting. Look at her. Look at her. She's the least fuckable person in the goddamn world. Why does everyone keep thinking that?"

"You're spying on my texts!" Ruby gasped.

Ozpin looked around. "You're not?"

"We shittalk each other and that's it!" I said. "Pretty sure she just talks like that because she's a fucking weirdo raised by, like, two womanizing fathers."

"I'm trying to collect parents so I get more Long Night gifts," Ruby said awkwardly. "Like Coco."

"Yes, Coco!" Ozpin said, suddenly desperate. "You knew I had my eye on Coco as a future headmaster and so you slithered into her life."

"You did?" I asked with genuine surprise.

"That's why you convinced her to take you to Montluçon."

"Because I adopted him and you were implying my pet project sucked," Coco said with a huff. "He didn't have any say in it. He never did. He's mine."

"And that thing under Montluçon, the river of Grimm?" he asked. "He didn't do that? All of those people dead, the complete collapse of the royal government?"

"I…" I hesitated, remembering Simone and the feather.

Coco grunted like she'd been punched. "That was my fault," she said, voice oddly shaky. "He didn't do anything. I brought us down there. He didn't want to be there. I did. And I fucked up."

Ozpin hesitated. "You made yourself needed for the networks. The soldiers need you now. They demanded your help to keep things running. You're at the heart of my CCTS systems. That's why you're here now, even."

"You banished me here and because fuck those guys, I just did a better job than them," I said, folding my arms. "You should be thanking me, by the way. Your IT security practices suck. I fixed them up. For free, by the way. Because, again, fuck them guys. You think I want to be here? Fuck that, dude."

"And the reason you ingratiated yourself to Weiss Schnee, the heiress to the largest, most powerful corporation on Remnant?" he asked, almost frantically.

Weiss scoffed. "Headmaster, that was your fault. My partner was Shamrock. You had the bright idea to put us with Blake and Jaune. Do you know much work I had to put in as a person just to tolerate them? Jaune stops eating for days for almost no reason, Blake thinks punching people is how you make friends, and Shamrock just stands there silently creeping on people until you drag them into a social interaction. I've become a full time team mom to these idiots."

"Huh, what?" Shamrock said in a daze. "Someone say my name?"

"My point." Weiss sighed.

"You're really reaching, Oz," I said, shaking my head. "You sound desperate. What the fuck are you even on anymore, man?"

His breath hitched. "That feather you had. That wasn't normal!"

"My psycho ex gave it to me and I really don't want to talk about her because I'm constantly surrounded by girls," I said. "And girls hate it when you talk about other girls."

"Wait," Blake said. "So you kept all that stuff to yourself not because it was traumatizing but because of, what, casual misogyny?"

"I mean, yeah?" I said with a shrug. "You never did make good on your promise to make me drink 'respect women' juice."

Ozpin made a noise in his throat. "Oh, look at you two, Blake and the boy. I see the way she hangs off your every word. Your codependent little bond with Blake Belladonna, daughter of the Ghira Belladonna."

"I told you!" I snapped. "You keep her name out your mouth."

Ruby gasped. "Actually, wait, who is that?"

"Leader of the White Fang," Coco said. "Former, I think. I'm not up to date."

"Oh." Ruby gasped again. "Wait, Blake is a faunus?"

Blake glared. "Yes. So what?"

Ruby just stared. "Wow. I… huh. I mean, she does really like tuna. How come you don't get along with Velvet, then?"

"Holy shit that's so insensitive, you little twerp!" Blake snapped.

"Enough!" Ozpin snapped. "You've been working against me from the very start. You knew what I was. Why else did you hate me from the very start? You're a creature of petty spite. Everything you've done, that was your motivation."

I stared at him. "Dude. You insulted me that one time in the Fishery. 'I expected better of you.' Like, fuck you, man. You basically gave me a pathological hatred of authority figures. That was it."

He laughed. "You expect me to believe that?"

Blake sighed, looking to the side. Seeming more annoyed than anything. "No, that tracks. He is so stupid and so petty. I almost wish he was lying. It's pretty much his last non-women-related character flaw."

Ozpin just stood there, leaning over. His face so close to mine. He said nothing. Just breathed, hot air against me. Soaked and damp with his own bodily fluid.

I sniffed.

"Is that bourbon on your breath?" I asked.

He just stared at me, standing back up. He trembled. He had trouble staying still.

I swallowed. "My friends taught me something, Ozpin. I can't do this alone. It's like you just spent months in your head, convincing yourself I was evil or something, when you never even talked to me. I mean, yeah, fuck you, I wouldn't talk to you either. But why would I? You seem to know something about me. I don't know anything about you. If you'd just been upfront, this all could have been avoided.

"But now we all know you're a monster yourself. You'd kill me to protect whatever lies and secrets you have in your head. I've told my friends. Or will, now that it matters. Because what the fuck do I gain from keeping it to myself? I don't know what's going on. Not just with you. I mean my own situation. All of this. I just know the people around me are my best friends in the world. When I had no one, that stood up for me. They listened to me. Blake, Weiss, and Shamrock suffered because of me and gave me a second chance.

"And when I needed them here, tonight, they showed up. I can't do this alone. I don't know what the fuck you're on about. Your secrets are out, though. You're something different too, aren't you? You admitted it; you can't hide it anymore. So maybe it's about time we got some answers too."

"Yeah!" Ruby said. "I mean, yeah. What was that bit about my silver eyes?"

Weiss made a face, rubbing her scar. "I'm actually a little offended he didn't have anything better about me. I feel like I'm worth more crazy conspiracy theories."

"Those are mostly on the radio," I said. "Ruby probably knows them all."

Ruby nodded. "Big Schnee is putting estrogen in the water!"

Coco nudged Ruby. "Stay focused."

"On what?" Ruby asked. "Jaune is apparently some soul thing. So is Ozpin. But one of them is my boywife friend and the other is a creepy old murder man. I just had my entire understanding of the world changed and then got told 'haha, it doesn't really matter' and everyone just seems to accept that! Sor-ry if I'm a little overwhelmed right now!" She huffed.

Shamrock was looking around. "At least I wasn't involved in any of that."

"You don't exist," I said.

Shamrock gestured me away. "Just the way I like it. You guys can have your conspiracies. I just wanna graduate and go on with my life. This is all too stupid and crazy for me. Ozpin, just explain everything so we can go home. I am so done with this late night."

We all turned our attention to Ozpin.

He was still staring. Same as he'd been. Barely holding himself together. Shaking a little, even.

"So, what?" I asked. "You look like shit. Whatever you thought, you were wrong. Gonna say something? Explain yourself? Maybe shit yourself and cum?"

Blake sneered. "God, what the hell is wrong with you?"

"That's a complicated question with an unsatisfying answer," I said. "Ozpin, whatcha think?"

His breath hitched. No words came from his mouth as he tried to move his lips. Teeth scraping the air. Tongue twitching in his mouth like a dying worm.

Behind us the elevator dinged.

We all turned to see a woman in a tight black outfit standing in the lift, crouching as if to remain hidden. Despite her domino mask, her eyes widened like saucer pans as she saw all seven of us standing there in the room staring at her.

"Hey!" Ruby snapped. "It's the stupid slow rooftop lady! What are you doing here?"

I blinked. "Wait, I'd recognize those poorly animated legs anywhere! Cinder Fall!"

Cinder gasped, rapidly poking the elevator panel. "Whoops, wrong floor. Wrong floor. Wrong floor! Close, damn you!"

The doors slowly shut. The floor indicator lazily counted down the numbers as it descended downwards.

"Hey," I said, drawing out the word. "I think we broke Ozpin. And—just a feeling, y'know, but roll wit' me here—I think we should go get that woman."

Nobody moved. Not even Ozpin.

I grabbed Blake's arm and, with one last glance to make sure Ozpin wouldn't do anything, I tugged her along with me. "Like, now."

The End

a/n: I have nothing more I can say with my own self-discovery and improvement blog poorly disguised as a RWBY fanfiction. The impact on the fall of Beacon (or lack thereof) is left as an exercise for the reader. Or where this group of friends might now go.

I just know I've said my piece. I've had my fun. I like to think I am a better man than the drunken waste of flesh who first began this story. And I dragged you all along with me because I guess I'm a self-improvement exhibitionist.

But… y'know…

The story doesn't technically end here. Aside from the Doki Doki Literature Club sidestory, sugar honey ice & tea, there is a moral sequel to this story of sorts. I write a lot of stuff to try to apply and reflect upon life-lessons and things that bother me.

Check out the ongoing Down by the River and say hello!

See you later, space cowboy.

No I totally didn't only come back to finish this story just to plug my other works fr fr