The Black Bulls were looking at Yuno who was doing push ups more than he can handle by the window from what they have heard from Noelle and Luck by the time they were done with the Dungeon that was between the Clover and Diamond Kingdom.
It was supposed to be a mission with Yuno, Noelle and Luck with two more Golden Dawn members into the mix, but it soon turned into a battle between those five and the Shining General Mars from the Diamond Kingdom.
They managed to defeat the man with Yuno getting a scroll and them getting some treasure from it, but not before Mars came back to the fight, almost ready to kill The Black Bulls in front of Yuno and what he said shocked them.
"I am… I AM NOT LOSING ANYONE IN MY LIFE EVER AGAIN!" which was then when Mars' massive sword in one massive gust of Wind.
Losing someone in his life, again? Something about that intrigued them to no end as they wondered, what did he mean by that?
Yami knew something was up with the kid when he felt his Ki being off from any other kid that was in there.
It was anger, sadness, regret and hatred. Not to anyone.
But to himself.
Which is why it shocked him, Gordon and Finral when Yuno chose The Black Bulls other than any other Magic Knight squad, as he did say it was what he wanted.
Yuno was a strange kid.
He was cold, but at the same time warm and welcoming.
He was mean, but also nice to talk to.
Almost everything about him was an almost contradiction, which was interesting. Why was he like this? They need to know.
Magna even told them how angry Yuno looked when they were at Saussy Village when Heath attacked, calling the villagers nothing but beasts.
Why was he like this? They wanted to know what happened, so they can help him, so he doesn't feel anything empty like now. They wanted to make sure that Yuno knows he can let his guard down and relax as they can see how tense he was.
Once he finally stopped, he dropped to the ground as he then looked at the sash that he always kept around his arm, like it was a good luck charm rather than the amulet around his neck.
He then stood up as he began walking towards the base as they wouldn't try to seem like they weren't watching him since they wanted to talk to him.
Yuno walked in and saw the Black Bulls looking at him and all together as they were different from usual.
Vanessa was actually wearing her uniform, Luck wasn't smiling, Magna was calm, Finral is flirting with someone, Yami isn't smoking, Gauche was focusing on someone that wasn't his sister, Charmy wasn't stuffing her face.
Yuno knew something was up, "Uhm, is something wrong?" He asked, getting nervous for some strange unknown reason.
"Oh? Nothing is wrong," said Gauche as he looked at him.
"Then why is the base unusually quiet and you guys look like you have to ask me something?" Asked Yuno as Luck looked down.
They all glanced at each other, as Gordon was mumbling about something.
Finral sighed, "We just want to ask you something if that is alright with you?" He asked as Yuno raised an eyebrow as he looked around and he felt that it was about him, which made him concerned about this.
He gulped as he looked around his squad as he then nodded, "Sure. Go ahead." he said as the tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife.
There was silence as they looked at each other, to which one will ask that question, the question that have been in their mind for hours now, as Magna was the one who let his thoughts win.
He sighed, "Have you… ever lost someone important to you?" asked Magna as then Yuno felt the world go quiet.
He widened his eyes as they darted towards his sash, but then back to his fellow Black Bulls. "Why do you ask?" Yuno asked as Noelle could see through his eyes that he was trying to hide his emotions from what he was thinking, and she didn't want that. She wanted to help him.
"Well, when we were attacked by that Shining General and the second he threw that massive sword of his, you looked like a deer seeing light as you were frozen and when you yelled that you don't want to lose anyone in your life again, that sentence never left Luck or my head, so we just want to ask…" Noelle looked at him as Yuno tried to not look at her in the eyes, "Did you lose someone important to you?" she asked him as the boy with a 4 Leaf was quiet about it.
They all looked at each other, wondering if they have done the wrong thing, as they never wanted to hurt him, but rather help him, but from the looks of it, it wasn't working.
Vanessa stepped forward, "Kiddo, I am sorry if that made you upset, we ju-"
"No, no, it is fine Vanessa," Yuno sighed as he looked at everyone, "I will be honest with you guys, but I just," he swallowed his saliva that was in his throat, "I need to sit down for this one, I don't think I can handle this while standing." he said as everyone agreed to that.
Yuno was sitting on the couch with the rest of the Black Bulls standing beside him with Grey behind all of them as they were all spread out.
He looked at everyone, they were ready to hear the truth of Yuno's past.
He sighed and then took a deep breath, "To answer your question, everyone, the answer is: yes. I did lose someone important to me, the person that was the most important person in the world to me, my brother, my rival, Asta." gasps were filled in the room to hear him say that.
To hear Yuno, or anyone of that matter to lose their own sibling was heart crushing. Finral gripped his fist.
The image of him losing Langris, even while being a jerk to him, was something that he couldn't even imagine as the thought of losing his baby brother almost sent him to tears.
Yuno continued onwards as he looked down, "Sure, he wasn't my real brother, as we were raised in the same church like we were brothers, but even then to me, he was my brother, the person I cared for the most, the person that I considered to be my rival, and even the person that inspire me to pursue the idea of me becoming the Wizard King." he said as he remembered that night.
That was the night were he thought he could've died to an old drunk man's wrath if he didn't give him the amulet around his neck as he was defenseless to stop him, but then Asta came crashing through, making the old man stop what he was doing as Yuno had to see his brother being pummelled into the ground several times, but no matter what, Asta never gave up, which inspired Yuno.
To never give up.
He even promised that he will never cry ever again.
"Sure, he was loud, annoying, unable to read the room, impatient, but he was also someone I can go to when I need to talk and no matter what, he was always my rival." he said as he smiled at the memories of his brother, but then it quickly dropped. "But that all changed one day."
They could hear the anger, the sadness and the fear in his voice when he said that, "The day when I got this Grimoire was the day that it changed forever. It was the day: I lost him." he said as his breath hitched, but he continued, "Once I got my Grimoire, I was held hostage by a man named Revchi, and while I was mostly going to be safe, my Grimoire and amulet weren't going to share the same fate, but if that would have happened other than other result, I would take that happening to me every single day of my life."
He gripped his pants as he gritted his teeth, "I would rather have everything taken away from me, then what I saw. That man, that bastard, killed him." They all looked at him in shock, "That piece of shit killed my rival, my brother, and when that happened, something snapped inside of me as I broke to the chains and I gave him the beating that he fucking deserves, making him wish that he never picked up a Grimoire in the first place. I wanted to kill him, I wanted him to suffer, I wanted him to feel the same amount of pain that he caused me, but…"
Yuno took a deep breath.
"I couldn't. I couldn't do the one thing that he did to Asta, but I couldn't stop to not think about what would happen if I did as I let him live, but that didn't stop me from looking at him." He remembered the look of Asta's eyes when he picked his body up.
Those eyes that could shine brighter than the Solar System and full of life, and now… they were cold, without life and were darker than that of the Night, as the sun falling down didn't help the mood.
He remembered what he heard from Asta, his last final words that he ever said to him.
Yuno was almost crying looking at the defeated body of Asta, apologizing for him being weak and unable to save him from that man, he apologized for not being able to repay him, he apologized for how he treated him when they were growing up, he apologized… for everything.
But he looked at Asta's eyes and he saw, even with the almost dead eyes, saw a gentle side of him that showed that he was never mad at Yuno, not once, and he forgave him for something that he shouldn't have ever apologized for, as in his dying breath, he asked him something. A promise.
To become the Wizard King and make everyone around you feel safe.
Tears nearly ran through Yuno's face as he nearly gave up on everything, as he didn't see how the Black Bulls were handling this, "That day, my brother died. Asta was no longer with me and I was all alone for those 6 months. Sure I had my foster brothers, sisters, Sister Lily and Father Orsi to help me, but they never were like Asta to me, and I just… don't think I belong here with the Magic Knights." Everyone looked at him in shock.
"I don't belong here. I don't deserve to be a Magic Knight member, I don't deserve any of this! I shouldn't have ever gotten this 4 Leaf Grimoire! If I didn't get it, Asta would still be alive! He would be here, with people he deserves to be around, people that care about him, but I don't deserve any of this, not you guys." Yuno said as he placed his hands over his eyes as he didn't hear them coming near him, "Why did I survive and not him? I shouldn-"
"Yuno, don't say something like that to yourself," Yuno felt a hand over his shoulder as he looked above to see Finral placing his hand over his shoulders with a smile on his face, "Yuno, I understand the feeling of someone you care for and the feeling of losing them never leaves you away." he said as frowned remembering his past.
"But that doesn't mean you should feel at fault for thinking of being the reason why you were the reason why they have died," said Vanessa as she walked over to her junior, knelt down to his level and placed her hand under his chin so he can look at them while they are talking to him.
"Sure, there are times that you think otherwise, but that you should learn that the reason why they have passed away were not because of you, but for entirely different reasons," Noelle said as she looked at her comrade as she shook the memory of her siblings.
"Death comes naturally or even at the worst possible times where you don't expect it," said Gauche as he remembered the time where he and Marie were living in the House of Adlai.
Grey transformed into Yuno as he walked beside him, "Even the ones you care about passing away, they would never be angry at you, not in a million years." Grey said.
"That is right. The ones that love you will never blame their death on you, natta, as they are still happy that you are safe, so you can live another day." said Magna as he gave Yuno a pat on the back to cheer him up.
"No matter what, someone close to you and that care about you will always be glad that you are alive, so you can enjoy your life." said Luck as Yuno was shocked to hear something like that coming from Luck.
"enjoying life with friends, spending time with them, doing the things you love, having hobbies." smiled Gordon as he mumbled.
"We want to say that, we are here for you, Yuno and it doesn't matter what happens to you, as you can count us in to help you with it." said Charmy as Yuno looked at all of the Black Bulls.
He was shocked to hear all of that, about them giving him advice and genuinely sounding like they wanted to help him out, which brought a smile on his face and he nearly cried.
"You guys…"
"But… there is something else that I want to tell you." they all turned to Yami as they all walked away as he walked towards him and knelt down to Yuno's level, "Kid, I want to tell you that what you said about being here is wrong. You deserve to be in the Magic Knights, the fact you went out of your way to help them is proof enough that you want to help them, and do not think anything other than that."
He sighed as he remembered his past, "Being someone that survived something that I should've died in, the feeling of survivors' guilt never washes you out, feeling that you should've died as well, or the feeling that surviving a traumatic incident is something to be ashmead off, which is stupid to think about. You are here after that traumatic incident, stronger than ever, which proves that you are strong, someone that people can count on, people that they know that they can trust, surviving a moment like that and still go on, proves that you are stronger than anyone here."
Yami got closer to Yuno, "So I will tell you that you don't feel like you deserve to be in the Black Bulls is bullshit. All of us are here and do not think for a second that you think you don't deserve to be around them. And for the last thing I want to tell you is…"
The Black Bulls were shocked to see what Yami did.
Yami wrapped his arms around Yuno, as Yuno's head was over his shoulder, "I know what you are feeling right now. Sadness, anger and regret, and I want you to do one thing. Let it all out. Every last drip. Let your emotions go wild kid and just know one thing: We are here for you."
Yuno was silent as they all looked at him.
As then he sniffed.
And then, he finally let everything he had in him. What he held back for months.
He cried for the first time in years. He wrapped his hands around Yami's neck and began bawling out all of his emotions as from his nose began drooling.
Every Black Bull then ran towards him as they created a group hug as Yuno continued to cry as he said something like "I miss him so much."
After several minutes go by, they felt that Yuno stopped crying as they looked at him with some tears in his eyes, red eyes and face, but he looked happier and relieved.
Finral wiped the tears from Yuno's eyes and Vanessa reached to Yuno's forehead and kissed it.
"Hope that makes ya' feel better, kiddo." She said as Yuno smiled at her.
"It does, thank you." Yuno said. He then turned to everyone, "Everyone, I feel better. Thank you all." He said.
"Anything for my junior."
"i am always to make my best friend happy!"
"Whatever, it is not like I care which I definitely don't."
"Come on, you don't need to thank us, here! A cupcake just for you!"
"Wow, slow down there! He first needs a drink then something to eat."
"If this would've made Marie happy, then I will be glad that you did become happier."
"You act like we won't do this again."
"Yeah! Think of this as a surprise attack but with a hug!"
Grey transforms back into the form before.
Finral looked at him and smiled. He then had an idea, "Hey guys, how about we make this night as fun as possible?" They all looked at him, confused, "Come on guys, we need to bring the mood up, so how about a game night?"
They turned to Yami, who shrugged, "Eh, why not? Just don't make a big noise or I will kill ya', got it?"
"YES, CAPTAIN YAMI SIR!"
"That is what I thought, so come on hop to it, the Games aren't gonna be here by themsleves." He clapped his hands together as Luck looked at Magna.
"Betcha I can get the board games before you!" He yelled as he ran faster than him.
"LIKE HELL YOU WILL!" Magna began to chase after him.
Gauche sighed as he turned to Noelle and Grey, "Those two bumbling idiots are gonna get lost, come on you two, let's go find them."
"Hpmf! Fine! Only because you told me to, but before you talk like that, I am Royalty." Said Noelle as they began looking for some games to play.
"I will bring the snacks!" Yelled Charmy as she ran into the kitchen.
"Come on, Finral! Let's get some drinks!" Said Vanessa as she threw her arm around Finral's neck as they walked into a place with drinks.
As Yuno stood up, Yami pushed him back onto the couch, "Woah! You are not going anywhere, mister! You are going to relax for an entire week. You have nearly destroyed your body, you deserve a break. Got it?"
Yuno looked at his Captain as he then nodded.
"Good. And I better not see you work out once during this entire week, or I am going to kill you." He said as Yuno nodded as he could see death in his eyes.
"Understood sir."
"Good. Anyways, I am off to change, my tank top is dirty, you know? So catch ya' later." He said as he walked off, but not before smiling at him. "Hope you have fun, Yuno."