A/N sorry for the huge delay this time around – I've had the worst couple of months – behind me now. I won't go into it because we're here to enjoy Merlin stories.

Destiny Begins

by Milui Elenath

Chapter Eighteen

Merlin sagged against the shovel and sighed as his eyes travelled the dirty stables. Of all the jobs he did for Arthur this one bothered him most. It took time away from Arthur's protection and it was tiring and tedious and unlike most of his other jobs, this one seemed without purpose – in the greater scheme that was. He straightened and looked for the best spot to begin. Merlin frowned harder as he heard horse hooves approaching and knights' armour clanking. The royal stables were reserved for the royal horses and household only. Merlin had left Arthur pouring over maps and council notes and Uther rarely went for rides these days so there was no reason that anyone armoured should be coming this way. Merlin waited anxiously, hearing the horses halt at the entrance though he could not yet see who it was.

"Thankyou Sir Leon, Sir Hernley for the escort." Merlin relaxed as he heard Morgana's voice. "I'm sure you must think me terribly silly," she continued. "I feel quite embarrassed and not at all afraid now. I hope you will not hold it too much against me."

"Not at all milady. We are glad to be of service." Sir Leon responded.

"The woods will soon be rid of their kind," said another – perhaps sir Hernley.

Merlin didn't like the sound of that. Were they talking about magic users?

"Yes, of course." Morgana seemed to be conceding and though there was nothing but sweetness in her tone Merlin was sure she could not feel that way. "I'm quite fine now," Morgana continued, "thankyou again sir knights."

"Milady," Sir Leon and Hernley spoke one after the other and Merlin heard their horses' shoes clattering against the cobbles before the sound retreated but the soft clinking of a single horse got louder and the doorway of the stable darkened as a horse and figure moved across the threshold.

Merlin had time to worry and develop feelings of irritation before Morgana fully entered. What was Morgana doing with the knights? What had their conversation meant? Were magic users in danger? What was Morgana up to now or what had she gotten herself into?

The lady in question was leading her horse but halted suddenly as her vision apparently adjusted. "Merlin!" She said in surprise. "What are you doing here?"

Merlin didn't respond to her question. Did it really need answering when he was surrounded by manure? "What's going on with you?" he retorted instead. Perhaps he should not have been so blunt. His destiny, was, after all, apparently also to ensure that she remained on good terms with Arthur but Merlin was feeling the weariness today of so many errands and the stables were making him grumpy. He was tired of playing it coy and careful and besides so much was already exposed between them.

"Oh," Morgana said softly, "er . . ." she looked around, Merlin guessed to ascertain if it was safe to speak. "Where's the stable hand?"

Merlin shook his head impatiently. "Not here."

Morgana's eyebrows raised dramatically, "not here? What do you mean not here?"

Merlin didn't see why she should be so shocked, "he had an errand."

"It's not that I care," Morgana continued dismissively, "Elack is a poor hand, I never let him touch Pandora," Morgana stroked the neck of her horse soothingly. "I so much prefer when Tyr is working, he's much better with the horses. . ." she trailed off as if some thought disturbed her, "he's good to them."

Merlin had noted the difference between the two stablehands himself. Tyr took care in all his activities, with the tack and the horses but Merlin couldn't say much about Elack at all. Elack took off to run errands whenever Merlin arrived. Merlin didn't think he'd seen the man do much work at all. Tyr did puzzle Merlin though, the lad always seemed so awkward whenever Merlin came into clean. Tyr would busy himself with other jobs and seemed quite embarrassed by Merlin's presence yet he was much more relaxed when Merlin merely came to fetch something.

"You're kind to him aren't you Merlin?" Morgana said suddenly seeming with great concern, "To Tyr, I mean. I'm sure you are. Do you think Elack is unfair to him or perhaps it's Uther?"

Merlin didn't know what had brought about this sudden concern for Tyr, was Morgana just trying to avoid telling him what she'd been up to? "I haven't heard him complain. Are you going to tell me what happened out there with Leon?"

Morgana seemed to shrug off whatever was bothering her about Tyr. "Oh, it's silly really" Morgana dropped her eyes back to her horse and began to fiddle with the saddle. "I was visiting M-." She looked around again and lowered her voice obviously thinking better of stating Morgause's name aloud. "My sister."

"She's still around then?" Merlin said unable to keep the disapproval out his voice.

"Of course," Morgana said firmly. "She's not a threat Merlin, I promise. It's good of her to be nearby, I still need much guidance but it is risky." Morgana seemed to ponder this for a moment. "The patrol saw my horse, they were coming to check the caves. I had to do something to ensure secrecy and everyone's safety so I feigned fear of the bandits and insisted on an escort back. I am afraid I had to resort to pretending to feel faint at one point to ensure they took me all the way to the citadel. I can't imagine how pathetic I must have seemed," she gave an embarrassed laugh, "but I hope it gave my sister enough time to relocate." Morgana bit at her lip a moment. "I'm afraid you were worried for nothing. Thanks for your concern though," she added, a small smile gracing her lips.

"Of course," Merlin stammered, he felt mildly ashamed. He hadn't been concerned for her. His demands to know what happened were suspicion, it had never even occurred to him to be worried for her, though he supposed her travelling off to see Morgause did expose Morgana to possible bandit attacks and even with her abilities there was the risk of being caught unawares. He was still finding it difficult to trust her although she didn't seem to be aware of it. Merlin didn't quite understand his own reasons but he had noticed he couldn't seem to settle in her presence.

Morgana had unstrapped the saddle from her horse and was struggling to lift it off. Merlin stepped forward automatically, servant instincts kicking in. "Here let me."

"Thank you," she said softly, her eyes skittered over his briefly before she stepped back and sat down on the nearest bale and dropped them to the hands in her lap.

Her movement was graceful but slow and Merlin suddenly noticed how pale and tired she looked. Had she been that drawn last time he'd seen her? "Are you alright?"

"Yes," she said with a dismissive half laugh, "I guess I haven't quite regained my strength from my time with the bandits. It's not been an easy few weeks."

Merlin recalled that Gaius had kept her holed up with Uther. It couldn't have been pleasant.

"Have you had any luck with Gwen?" Morgana asked quickly diverting the subject.

"No," Merlin answered, he could see how genuinely concerned Morgana was. "Gaius tried but she passed it off as nothing. We'll keep trying though."

Morgana sighed. "I'm thinking of telling her everything."

"What!" Merlin cried. "No, you can't."

Morgana lifted her head, her eyes large. "Why not?"

"You need to keep your powers a secret. It's too dangerous." Merlin recalled the many times Gaius had said as much to him. It was strange to hear it coming from his own voice.

"I can't think of myself when Gwen's life might be at stake Merlin," Morgana declared distressed. "I spoke to Morgause she said I've had these seer trances before in times of warning. If I tell Gwen the truth it might help her."

Morgana had given him a warning too long ago. Still, Merlin shook his head, instantly able to articulate his reasoning. "You can't. I understand you wanting to but you won't just be putting yourself in danger but Gwen as well, even if it helps in the short term. It's a difficult secret to bear. I don't think Gwen should be put in that position."

"Do you feel that way?" Morgana asked suddenly, sounding more concerned than hurt.

Merlin didn't know if he'd ever had Morgana's compassion resting on him so openly, it was unnerving. Those gentle green eyes that somehow also probed. "No, it's different for me," Merlin answered offhandedly, it was only as he saw her expression move towards puzzlement he realised his mistake. "I'm from Ealdor," he hurriedly added to cover.

"Oh yes," Morgana said sadly, "Your friend, Will."

That hadn't been what Merlin meant but he was touched she remembered Will and his name. "Ealdor didn't exactly welcome magic but it was removed from a lot of Camelot's beliefs."

"I'm sure it must have been still difficult for him, all alone," Morgana said thoughtfully. "He was lucky to have you."

Merlin grimaced internally. "I was the lucky one, to have him as a friend."

Morgana's eyes were glassy as they rested on Merlin full of sympathy and something that looked like admiration. He certainly didn't deserve that. Will did. Will had been the courageous one, keeping Merlin's secret until the end. Will had been the one who accepted magic and Merlin so easily. Merlin coughed and moved towards the horse brushes and began to work on Pandora.

Morgana remained where she was and pushed her hair back over her shoulder. "I don't know if you can understand Merlin but having someone to share that secret with is such a comfort. I used to feel suffocated, like I couldn't escape and so alone but just knowing that you and my sister know about me, it helps somehow. Even still there are times . . ." she sighed as she trailed and shook her head helplessly. "But you're right. I shouldn't put Gwen in that position. I'm sorry it fell to you again Merlin, especially after Will."

Merlin could feel the guilt squirming away inside him. Now Morgana was making out as if he was carrying a burden of her making as if keeping the secret of her powers was some sort of heroic act he was doing for her. It wasn't. It was true that she had caused difficulties recently but the facts were they were both victims of circumstance. Of Uther's unjust laws. He suddenly felt angry. "No," Merlin said firmly, "It's not your fault and I'm glad it was me." He softened his tone. "Really."

She smiled. "That's very good of you to say. I know you haven't always agreed with my choices."

"No," Merlin admitted "but I do understand them." He did and he wanted to tell her how much but perhaps that would be adding to Morgana's burdens. If he told her of his own powers she would have two secrets to bear. What sort of man would he be if he did that to her for his own ease?

Her eyes had been resting on him, watching. He saw something for a moment in them. Some sort of yearning and he felt his heart quicken as she stood and walked towards him. He did nothing not sure why he felt a slight urge to ward her off or possibly not. A passing thought, that irritated his pride in some way due to the indecisiveness but was dismissed as soon as she reached past him to take another horse brush. He relaxed again as she joined in brushing Pandora.

"I just wish I knew what to do about Gwen," Morgana sighed. "I'm so worried for her."

"I'll look out for her," Merlin reassured. "You, me, Gaius and Arthur between the four of us I'm sure she'll be fine. We'll make sure she is."

"Arthur?" Morgana raised her brows incredulously.

"Well, I'm sure he would if we needed him," Merlin shrugged.

"He did go after her that time she and I were kidnapped," Morgana said thoughtfully.

Merlin hoped he hadn't said too much. Arthur's confidence was important.

"Against Uther's judgement too," Morgana was thinking a lot about it.

"He's not like Uther," Merlin pointed out.

"I hope not. Time will tell."

Merlin could see Morgana was still unconvinced on that score but at least he'd diverted her thoughts from Arthur and Gwen.

They continued to work in companionable silence for a while until Pandora was looking clean and content.

Morgana gave the horse an affectionate pat before encouraging Pandora towards the stall. Morgana stood a moment looking uncertain and reluctant. "Well, I better get back. I have more to do for the melee preparations. You're welcome to walk with me Merlin if you're finished here?"

"Uh, no." Merlin grimaced gesturing about at the filthy surrounds.

Morgana pulled a face. "No, I suppose not. Arthur shouldn't be sending you all the time to deal with this anyway, he really should do it himself once in a while."

"The stables?" Merlin half choked, half laughed at the outrageous suggestion of Arthur mucking stables.

"Certainly. It's his kingdom after all." Morgana did not miss a beat and seemed entirely serious. "He ought to be seen by the citizens not only to assert his authority and command their respect but by being a part of their lives from time to time. Hearing their complaints, rebuking their bad behaviour, praising them for their work. A strong kingdom is something people want to be a part of. A prince who can't even be bothered to check if his stable hands are doing their jobs does not inspire loyalty or pride."

"I guess," Merlin acknowledged the latter part. He puzzled over her statements not entirely seeing how cleaning the stables fitted into things.

Morgana sighed, "I haven't been a good role model either I suppose. When I had nightmares, I was so tired and weak that I let Gwen do too much but not anymore. Now that I'm well I intend on inspecting the laundry and the kitchens myself to see their done to standard and to praise those doing a good job. Incidentally, who did Uther send to do that when I was gone? Was it Gwen? You?"

Merlin shook his head. "I don't know." His mouth had gone dry as he listened to her. He realised she thought his role here was to check the stables were being cleaned – not to actually clean them but the worst of the implication was that Merlin started to wonder if she was right.

Morgana was about to say something more when they heard a sound from the door. It was Elack.

"Milady Morgana," he said in shock, horror in his tone, looking exactly as someone might if they had just been caught not at their post. Merlin found his suspicions about Elack's duties and his own, getting stronger. The lazy stablehand's eyes darted to Merlin worry clearly displayed.

"Elack," Morgana returned unenthusiastically. "Well, thank you again Merlin."

"Milady," Merlin bowed slightly and watched her depart. He turned back to Elack. It was time to clarify a few things.

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Merlin hummed a little as he flipped through a few of Gaius books.

"You're here early," Gaius commented. "Is Arthur in a meeting?"

Merlin shook his head. "I just finished my duties earlier. Did you know I wasn't supposed to be cleaning the stables?"

"No, should I? Did you mention something about that?" Gaius said as he put his satchel away.

"No, that's not what I mean," Merlin said. "It turns out, Gaius, as a castle servant and personal servant to the prince, my job is to go down to the stables and see that the stable hands are doing their jobs, not do it for them. In fact, it turns out that I don't need to do Arthur's laundry either. Pretty sure I do have to keep polishing his armour though."

"You've been doing his laundry?" Gaius raised his one brow in surprise or perhaps lowered the other in a mild scowl.

"Nobody told me otherwise," Merlin pouted. "Half the kingdom think I'm such a useless servant that I'm being punished by Arthur to do jobs beneath me and the other half have just been taking advantage of my ignorance and slacking off in their tasks!"

Gaius grimaced slightly, "I see."

"I feel like an idiot," Merlin stared down at the books in front of him miserably. He didn't know who fit into what category but it didn't really matter.

"You're not an idiot Merlin."

Merlin lifted his head. "I've been cleaning the stables for two years."

"Perhaps a little bit," Gaius gave him a sympathetic smile.

"Well at least now I'll have a bit more time on my hands to study magic," Merlin tried to look on the bright side and it was some solace.

"Good, then you can go down to the library and see if Sir Geoffrey has a copy of the bestiary." Gaius instructed.

Merlin sat back with a groan, "Tomorrow. Please Gaius. Let me just enjoy doing nothing for a bit."

"Alright," Gaius wagged his finger, 'for tonight."

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Morgana walked tiredly towards her chamber although she had done little since her horse ride and visit with Morgause. She had spent the rest of the day scribing letters in preparation for the melee forcing herself to focus on tasks rather than on the worrisome problems of her mystery predictions involving Gwen and Morgause. The door to her bed chamber loomed ahead. She'd put off returning to it as long as she could knowing that tonight she must remove her bracelet and face the nightmares. She pushed against the heavy door, her eyes on the floor, when she heard a sound from the far end of her chamber. Her eyes shot to the source. "Gwen!" She exclaimed seeing the young maidservant standing solemnly. "You're back. I'm so glad to see you." Morgana stepped forward intending to embrace Gwen but there was something reserved in Gwen's stance. Morgana halted. "You are back, aren't you? You are well?"

"I'm fine," Gwen replied stiffly. "I hope you were attended appropriately while I was . . . ill?"

They both knew Gwen had never been ill but Morgana was willing to keep up the pretence if that was what Gwen wanted. "No one attends me as well as you Gwen," Morgana said genuinely, "But yes sufficiently attended."

Gwen took a deep breath. "To be frank, milady. I didn't know if you would want me back after I ran out like I did or after what you said."

For a moment Morgana weighed the odds of letting Gwen go as her maidservant, this was the opportunity she supposed, to play fickle and evasive and send Gwen to a position that was safely away from the dangers of learning of Morgana's magic. . . that was if Gwen didn't already know or suspect. But Morgana couldn't do it, even if it was selfish. But she also felt it was important to keep Gwen with her - some other reason. "Of course, I want you back," Morgana said sombrely, "I didn't blame you for running out, I know I said something upsetting, I wish you would tell me what it was."

Gwen remained stoic and thoughtful. "You still don't remember?"

"No. I'm afraid not." Morgana answered truthfully.

Gwen bit her lip, seeming to decide something. "You mentioned a bandit or bandits."

"Bandits?" Morgana gasped. Bandits did keep coming up today.

"I don't really remember the exact words," Gwen explained her eyes darting away for a moment, "just something about a bandit coming – you don't know what you might have meant?"

"Bandits are coming?" Morgana gulped failing to hear the almost clipped tone that Gwen used. "And I said that to you? Was I warning you? Think Gwen did I say anything else?"

"Why should you warn me?" Gwen demanded.

Morgana snapped her eyes to Gwen, the maidservant's stance was tense as if ready to attack. Perhaps Gwen did suspect magic and she thought Morgana's warning was a threat of some kind. How could Morgana explain without outright confirming her magic? "I – I, don't know Gwen. I don't know why I said it but I only want you to be safe. I mean, you are safe from me - with me." Morgana felt she was botching her assurances badly. "I'm sure I don't know what I'm talking about half the time, then or now." She laughed attempting to dismiss it all as frivolous ramblings. "I just want you to be safe."

Gwen was still unyielding, not a smile passed her face. "I see. I thought perhaps you were just thinking of your time with the bandits. Perhaps you saw something that made you think of me and or vice versa."

It was a question more than a statement. A strange one. Morgana shook her head. "Nothing I witnessed or experienced in that place would make me think of you, Gwen."

Gwen looked uncomfortable with the response and that was very perplexing. Surely Gwen didn't want to be associated with bandits! Was it merely that Gwen was looking for absolute solid excuses for Morgana's strange outburst? Was Gwen so determined to assure herself that Morgana did not have magic before she would even think about properly returning to Morgana's service? Or was she hoping Morgana would admit to her seer's magic? Morgana tried to remind herself that Merlin was right, it was too big a risk and too big a secret to impose on someone. "To be honest Gwen," Morgana said wearily, "I don't have any answers I can give you and I really would rather not remember my time with the bandits."

"No," Gwen said, "of course not. I'm sorry."

"You have nothing to be sorry for."

"Still I'm sorry for what you've gone through. Things will be better now."

"Yes," Morgana wasn't sure about that at all. Everything was different since she'd returned. Merlin, Gwen, Gaius, Uther. Even Camelot . . .somehow. The only person who'd remained the same was Arthur. The one person she'd hoped to find changed! Still, there was hope . . . wasn't there?

"Would you like me to help prepare you for bed?" Gwen asked.

"Yes, thankyou Gwen," Morgana assented. A smile passed between the two women. It was not with such ease and warmth of the past but it was something. At least Gwen was back in her position where Morgana could keep a lookout for her.

Morgana removed her outer garment as she stepped towards the screen. She looked down at the healing bracelet and with reluctance slid it off. Gwen's revelation that Morgana had warned her of bandits was not much help. It still did not make sense and then there was the warning she gave Morgause of pyres. Morgana was not at all relishing the possibility that her dreams would contain either set of imagery but she needed to understand these visions, for those that she loved. She only hoped they would not be so terrifying as to evoke her magic.

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Morgana felt she had been lying there for hours. Every time she began to feel close to sleep she jolted awake again too aware of the nightmares. She'd tried Morgause's chants but they were for helping the visions be recalled. Any kind of sleeping spell was going to counter visions. She turned onto her side. The castle was eerily quiet, her mind drifted to thoughts of the melee, the provisions, the rooms assigned. Suddenly she sat up breathing hard. She'd been imagining the rooms, letting herself drift down corridors when she'd felt it. "Camelot ensnares me," she whispered aloud feeling herself tense. She'd said that to Morgause, it was true but she had a little more clarity now – destiny was ensnaring her, it had been trying for a while and it was here. Not just destiny. Something or someone. She threw back the covers and fetched her cloak and silk slippers that really didn't do much against the cold flagstones.

She padded out into the corridor, down one and then another until she reached the stairs. She wanted this, her heart or her powers said. That frightened her enough to make her stop. She should go back to bed, this was madness. No, it was magic. She bit her lip. Yes, she was beginning to understand whatever it was had been affecting her since she'd returned and worse before then. It had woken her powers in the first place, latent powers that might never have manifested. She was furious with it, how dare it drag her into whatever it had planned. She walked onwards, determined she was going to find whatever or whoever was responsible for it.

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A/N Next chapter should be up MUCH quicker - I'm definitely onto it, thanks for your patience thus far and I hope the excitement is still there for this story and chapter.