Losing Control
Swat. His hand flew past his own ear as he flinched nervously, his vision flying around the room as he looked over the other students in the class. He was convinced they were all staring at him, that they had been all day, indeed, all week. Ever since the spell had been cast Mydnight had become increasingly paranoid, his new alter ego constantly itching to be let out.
He hadn't anticipated that it would be this difficult to control himself, nearly regretting his decision daily. His entire body itched. But it was an itch he seemed incapable of scratching. His head buzzed and his nerves and emotions were all over the place. People were beginning to take notice that something was wrong with him as well. He hadn't been able to focus on the lessons at all in each class and had already managed to let his grades begin to slip.
Of course, Ozpin would never dream of punishing Mydnight in his current state but the fact remained that some of his teachers were unaware of the change that had been made to their student. Mydnight had always figured that most of the teachers working for Ozpin knew about Salem, but he had never had the opportunity to find out which ones.
He had only been able to change a few times, and even when he could he hadn't been able to be near any people. Qrow had walked him out into the emerald forest so he could change but shortly left after the change had been made so as to not antagonize the wolf. Mydnight had been simply left to wander the forest in a haze, his mind barely able to break through the fog of heightened senses and emotions that came with the transformation, certainly not able to control most of his actions.
Back on school grounds, Ambur had been doing her best to be there for him and help him through it but in truth, there wasn't much she could do for her partner. She began to feel a bit more useless in fact as she watched from the seat next to him as he flinched and seemed restless day in and day out, unable to explain to their teammates what was wrong with him.
After a day of Mydnight acting strange Ambur and he had simply lied and told everyone that he was feeling sick. It explained the sweating and seeming distant, but the lie couldn't last forever. Ambur reached over, softly speaking to him as she put her hand on his wrist. He jumped a bit in surprise before calming down and tried to take deeper breaths. "Just breathe Mydnight...class is almost over okay? I'll walk you out to the forest if you want," she said softly, trying not to let her emotions get the better of her.
She felt horrible as she sat back and watched him losing control day in and day out. It made her feel like a bad partner. Like she should have expected this kind of magic would harm him in some way even though everyone had said it wouldn't.
"...Sorry," he breathed out softly, again trying not to disrupt the lesson.
"Don't be," she said breathlessly back to him as her pity spread across her face. However, she heard his scroll vibrate in his pocket before he slowly and secretively pulled it out, hiding it from their professor and opening up a text that Ambur could see was from Rosa. Ambur, in turn, looked down to the row in front of them in time to see Rosa set her scroll down on her lap, looking up to Mydnight with concern on her face as well.
Ambur fumed. It had become more and more obvious over the past several days that even in his weakened state Mydnight had plenty of time to stumble through encounters with their other female teammates. No matter how lame he seemed or how out of touch with the conversations they had, Rosa never backed down and would never leave him be. And the more Ambur witnessed it, the more it seemed like Mydnight had no intention of ever telling her to leave him be. It was becoming more and more obvious to Ambur that Mydnight actually didn't mind having her around and it burned Ambur to the core.
She kicked herself daily for not taking Olivier's advice sooner than she did, only now just becoming comfortable around her partner, and working on talking with other people better. She had been practicing in any way she could figure out how. Raising her hand a little more often than never in class, spending more time with Gretchen and the rest of Liv's team so she could make new friends, she had even volunteered to spar during a class exercise for the first time all year.
She of course effortlessly defeated her opponent and the entire class had gone silent in response, realizing just how strong she really could be. Until then, all the non-Signal graduates had no idea what her semblance was, but after she had shown it off it certainly seemed that more people in the hallways were smiling her way and she had heard far less talking behind her back in the last couple of days.
Well, that is, from everyone except her teammate of course. Rosa was always quick to talk behind Ambur's back, and she knew it. Not only had she heard it first hand by accident, but several other students had told her as well and ratted Rosa out. There were several students that had Beacon as their school of choice after graduating in Vacuo and every single one of them seemed to hold a grudge against Rosaria.
Ambur, of course, could see that the girl was mean and she didn't have any intentions of ever hiding it. She seemed proud of how mean she was in fact, quick to brag about how poorly she treated people to the few friends she seemed to have. But, at least from Ambur's view, Mydnight just didn't see it or, far worse, didn't care.
Ambur knew all too well that Mydnight had largely grown up without parental figures and indeed friends, but she couldn't figure out why Rosa's meanness didn't seem to bother him at all. All the while Ambur was helping him in any way that she could, being as nice as possible to him and others and getting nothing back for it. Liv had given the insight that some guys just preferred bad girls but that piece of information didn't help Ambur relax at all.
It in fact simply made Ambur want to teach Mydnight right from wrong more properly but she knew it wasn't her place to do so. She had to rationalize that she wasn't his mother and far more disappointingly, not his girlfriend. She couldn't just influence his decisions however she wanted, not to mention that she didn't have the confidence to do so either.
She was pulled from her train of thought as again Midnight's scroll buzzed as it rested on his lap. Ambur found that she had been staring down at her opponent the entire time she had been thinking to herself, and now found Rosa staring angrily back at her. Ambur couldn't help but give a small apologetic smile before looking away from her female teammate and looking back to Mydnight, finding him typing away on his scroll with his forehead rested on his hand, an elbow rested on the table in front of him.
God just the look of him, even in this state, made Ambur weak. She loved every inch of his face, unable to find a flaw on any piece that she ever got to see of him. She had thought that maybe over time, spending every single night in the same room as him would dull her crush for the boy. As if being near him would take some of the mystique away from her largely unknown crush. It never did, however. Instead, every single detail she had the privilege of learning, other than his lack of romantic interest in her, turned her on more to the idea of being with him.
Every small piece of information she got out of him about was like a treasure to her and she savored every last one of them. All the more reason that when he repeatedly showed mild interest in their other female teammate she could barely control her anger, not just for Rosa, but also for herself for not being more attractive to him.
She knew that Liv's advice had always been right of course, about how she would need to change her shyness and work to stand out more to him in order to catch his eye but it just wasn't that easy. She had spent so long building up her walls, she couldn't just knock them all down in one fell swoop. Liv, of course, knew this but she also knew the only way it would ever happen was if she kept encouraging Ambur to do so.
Ambur had been trying and was showing signs of improvement but it was beginning to seem like it was too little too late. She knew any day now that she could walk in on Rosa and Mydnight sharing an intimate moment. She had in fact already nearly done so, when she found the two alone in the room one afternoon sitting uncomfortably close to each other on Mydnight's bed, Rosa's hand running through Mydnight's hair.
She hadn't been the only culprit too, as Mydnight had become much more bold with his actions toward Rosa in the last week too. Amber had to give him the benefit of the doubt however and cite the animalistic desires of his new alter ego as the source of his advances toward Rosa.
Bronzine had even told her as much, not that he knew for sure but at the very least he did agree with Ambur. He hadn't quite expressed his disappointment in the fact that Ambur wasn't the one that Mydnight was clearly falling for, but he agreed that the pairing of Rosa and Mydnight wasn't good for their team. Bronzine did indeed recognize, as most did, that Ambur wanted so badly for Mydnight to be with her, he just wasn't as forward on the subject as Olivier had been.
But what was she to do about it? It wasn't as if she could hold a team meeting on the subject and call their teammates out and tell them they couldn't date. Who were they to decide something like that, especially for such petty reasons? Every time the idea crossed Ambur's mind she silently had scolded herself as guilt began to wash over her.
As the school bell rang, Ambur again found herself ripped from her thoughts as she saw Mydnight quickly stand from his seat and was even the first student out the door by several paces, closely followed by Rosa. "Hey," she heard from the seat next to her, "Is he okay? You said he was sick but it seems like more than that."
Liv. Of course she would notice and bring it up, never able to let Ambur keep a secret from her. Most other students they knew hadn't really pressed the matter yet but Liv never had any trouble trying to wrench information out of Ambur. 'God what am I supposed to tell her,' Ambur thought to herself as she turned around to face her friend, packing up her bag while speaking. "I uh...I don't think so?" She lied again. It hurt Ambur so much to lie to the person who had so quickly become the closest friend she had ever had, but it was necessary and she knew full well what it could mean if she spilled the beans.
"Ambur..." Liv looked to her more intensely now, as she always did when she was trying to dig information out of Ambur's brain. "Come on. I know it's not just him hanging out with Rosa or some silly cold. What's going on?"
Ambur sighed heavily, closing her eyes for a moment before zipping up her school bag and standing, motioning for Liv to follow her. "Come on," she said softly, "I can't tell you here."
Liv quickly finished packing up her own bag before following the Amazon out of the classroom and out into the hallway. "Why are you being so secretive about it?"
"Shhh," Ambur retorted as she held a finger up to her mouth, looking ahead down the hallway and nodding toward her partner and Rosa. She then pointed to space just about her head, signaling to Liv that it was still likely that Mydnight would be able to hear them speaking, the hallways being much quieter than normal this afternoon.
Not to mention that with his new alter ego, all of Mydnight's senses had received a boost as he was so closely linked with the wolf that now lived inside his head. All of his already incredible senses had become heightened when the spell had been put onto him.
Liv folded her arms over her chest and frowned, rolling her eyes and sighing, "Fine," as they continued down the hallway and out into the courtyard. They watched in silence as Rosa and Mydnight beat the crowds back to the dorm room, together, practically hand in hand. Ambur sighed as she dropped her act and began explaining herself as the two girls approached the building.
"Okay look," She began, "You can't tell anyone because he doesn't want anyone to know yet...even Bronzine and Rosa don't know...at least...I haven't told them yet..."
"Jeez, what is it Ambur?" She asked as they walked inside and headed upstairs to their floor.
"Mydnight...unlocked his...semblance," She lied again, barely able to get the words out, struggling again to tell such a lie to Olivier.
"Well...why are you all hiding it? That's great news!" She said happily before Ambur shushed her again. "Why are y'all not excited? What am I missing here?" She asked more quietly.
As Ambur was about to answer however she felt her scroll ring, surprised to find a text message from Rosa of all people. As she read it she froze on the stairs a few steps from the top, Liv continuing up to the final stair before realizing that Ambur had stopped. Students walked by her as her mouth hung open looking down at her phone, unsure of what to do or how to react.
"Ambur?" She asked timidly, clearly able to tell that her friend was distressed. Ambur looked up into Olivier's eyes and her friend could see tears forming in her bright red eyes. She watched as Ambur tried to speak but no sounds would come out, not to mention that if she could speak, Liv would only be hearing half-formed sentences as Ambur would attempt to explain to her the problem. Liv walked back down the few steps to her friend as other students pushed by them. "Hey what is it?" Liv asked again, trying to comfort her as she grabbed hold of Ambur's free hand.
"I!" she was only able to say in response as Liv looked down to her friends scroll and read the message Rosa had sent her.
"...Oh...ohhhh wowwww okay," Liv sighed as she swallowed hard and took Ambur's scroll from her, shoving it down into the taller girl's pocket for her and forced her friend into an embrace, Liv standing on the stair above Ambur so she could actually cradle her friends head in her shoulder. "Okay come on it's okay," she soothed quietly as she rubbed the back of Ambur's head, "Deep breathes come on," she said again as she watched the other students angrily walk past them.
"Wh...What do I do?!" Ambur asked hysterically as if the entire rest of the world had melted away from her. The moment she had been fearing for weeks had finally come, and even though she had tried to mentally prepare herself for it, it stung no less than it ever would have.
"You can come spend the night in my room if you need to okay? Come on we gotta get off the stairs hun," Liv said calmly as she let go of her friend and took her hand, leading her up the stairs slowly and down the hall to team OCHR's room. Luckily for the pair, none of Liv's other teammates had arrived yet and she was able to sit Ambur down on her bed and run to go get makeup wipes from her bag and begin to clean up Ambur's quickly streaking makeup. "Come on it's okay, we talked about this Ambur you knew this was going to happen."
"That doesn't make it hurt less," she gasped out as she continued to hyperventilate.
Liv sighed as she chucked the used wipe across the room and into the trash can, sitting down beside her friend on her bed and taking her by the hand, "Ya I...I know it doesn't I'm...sorry."
"Why are you sorry," Ambur sobbed as she used her free hand to wipe her face with, "You didn't do anything wrong. You were right all along," she wept, "I let this happen and I didn't try hard enough."
"...I'm just sorry that it happened okay...it's never easy having to watch someone you like date somebody else...especially after all the effort you put in to try and make him see you."
"Well...I just...I don't wanna go into my room at all tonight...even if they text me again saying they are...DONE," she spat out as anger began to overtake her sadness.
"That's fine, you know you are welcome to sleep over in here for the night whenever you want," Liv smiled as she put her arm around Ambur's much larger and broader shoulders, pulling her closer and resting their heads together. "Everything will turn out okay Ambur alright?" She asked as she looked over to her friend, Ambur looking back down into her eyes as well.
"How can you say that?" Ambur asked as she looked away from her in disgust.
"Because if you really love him then you are going to keep trying...and eventually," She began as she reached over and touched Ambur's chin, turning her face back toward her own, "He's going to realize that Rosa is just as horrible as the rest of us already see she is and he will get tired of it. Mydnight's a good guy Ambur he just...doesn't read emotions well and...you can't really blame him for not being able to judge people properly can you?"
"No I...I guess not," she said as her tears steadily began to dry, wiping her face again. "So...what should I do then?"
"Hah," Liv smiled, "Don't worry about that right now...we will work on it okay? I am gonna keep helping you to break out of your shell and at some point, he's going to have to be completely blind not to notice you," she said softly as she pulled Ambur's hair out of her face and tucked it behind her ears. "You really are the most beautiful girl I have ever seen and you need to stop hiding it if he is ever going to see what I see...okay?"
Ambur was silent for a moment before letting out a shaky long sigh as she began to calm her heart rate. "Okay..." She breathed out, almost silently.
"First things first though," Liv laughed before standing up and heading over to her closet and beginning to change out of her uniform. "You aren't allowed to dye your hair anymore," She laughed out as Ambur rolled her eyes and folded her arms under her chest.
"Ugh what why not?"
"Because dear," Liv smiled before running her hands through her own long white hair to provide an example, "White is the way to go," she laughed.
Ambur couldn't help but smile at her friend's joke before nodding in an agreement. "I guess I can let it fade out and...give it a try..."
"Good girl, that's the attitude we need," Liv smiled before walking back over to Ambur with her normal clothes on. When Ambur looked again she found that Liv was actually delivering a set of clothes to her that she recognized. "Found these in our closet the other day from the last time you slept over." The clothes were Ambur's and she stood happily from the bed, taking them immediately and beginning to change as well.
"Oh thank god I thought I'd have to wear this dumb uniform all night," she said as she began to strip down. She had become at the very least, comfortable with changing in front of Olivier, but not really anyone else.
"Ya, I can't imagine those uniforms are very comfortable for someone with tits like yours," Liv smirked as she respectfully looked away, having learned to turn around and let Ambur change in peace whenever she needed to change in front of her.
"They aren't, I can't breathe all damn day in this stupid top," she said as she chucked it down on the floor and began to pull on her normal clothing, jeans, a t-shirt and as usual, a baggy hoodie that hid all of her curves. When Ambur turned back to Liv she found her rolling her eyes. "What?"
"Second things second we HAVE GOT to fix your awful wardrobe..." She shook her head as she smiled.
"What do you mean?" Ambur said as she looked in the mirror hanging from the back of Liv's door. "What's wrong with it?"
Ambur barely finished her sentence before she felt Liv grab at the back of her sweater and pull, all the slack from the oversized sweatshirt being pulled to the back, pulled taught over Ambur's stomach and breasts, revealing to Ambur an image of her body in what looked like a much tighter top. "It doesn't have to choke the life out of you like our uniforms but you seriously need to start owning your curves. Guy's love your body type so start using it."
"But I...won't that just attract dudes that want sex...? Not just Mydnight?"
"Well I'm not saying that you need to show skin Ambur but your clothes need to actually fit you, hug you, show off your shape at least. And yes, guys are gonna be chasing you all up and down the school but if all you want is Mydnight then this is the way to grab his attention dear," Liv laughed as she let go of her friend's shirt.
"...Alright..." Ambur sighed in defeat before turning around, "So uhm...can we...go do something I don't...wanna...hear them..." She gulped out nervously as Liv shook her head in disgust and stuck her tongue out, her spine-tingling at the thought.
"Ew...Yes lets," she finally got out as they grabbed their scrolls and wallets and headed out the door and down the hall. As they reached the stairs however they found Bronzine standing near the railing which overlooked the large foyer of the dorm building. "Hey Z what're you doin up here?"
Bronzine looked up from his scroll, "Oh...hey I..." He began, recognizing Liv's voice before looking up and trailing off as he saw that Ambur was with her. "I uh...well you..." He began as he trailed off again, not wanting to hurt his leader's feelings. "You know..." he said as he shoved his scroll back into his pocket, Ambur taking his meaning.
"...Do you wanna...come hang out with us we are uhh...well," she said as she turned to Olivier, "We didn't really talk about it but we are gonna go do something at least..."
"You are welcome to join us," Liv smiled, sympathizing with Bronzine as much as Ambur.
"Uh...sure ya...why not," he shrugged. "Got anything in mind?"
"Well...Liv says I need new clothes so...mall?" She suggested thoughtfully as Liv silently pumped her fist happily.
"Hah...ya," Bronzine smiled, taking her meaning easily even if she hadn't said it. "You'll need a guy's opinion anyway right?" He reasoned with himself out loud before he removed his tie from his neck and loosened the buttons on his button up, shoving the tie into his backpack.
"That's the spirit kids," Liv joked before she headed for the staircase. "Let's go."
"Hmm," Ambur smiled, "Yes Mam."